We had a MFM but now wife getting too attached to the male
By
Guest smpdjd, in Swinging Situational HELP!
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By spicylife42
The hubs and I were very active in the lifestyle for several years. We had a great time, we had lax rules where we were ok with each other playing solo. I traveled with him on business and had a particular lover I was completely head over heals for. The sex was like no other, he felt it too. Fast forward many years, we’re out of the lifestyle. He became an alcoholic and our marriage imploded. During all of this, we had split briefly. He came back but I let him know that I didn’t have feelings for him anymore. We could try to coexist, for the family. We have lived this way for 6/7 years. Last fall T, reached out to me and I went to see him. It was electric, as it always is.
Well I was planning to see him again, and I was going to tell the hubs b4 I left, that I was going to see T. Explosion! He had suspected since last fall, how can he ever believe me again, oh yeah sure I was going to tell him... yada yada. Hubs says well if this is the way we are going to spend the rest of our marriage we might as well get a divorce.
He’s the one that drug me kicking and screaming into the lifestyle, we allowed each other freedoms. I’m heartbroken and mad!
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By JW6145
I’ve been lurking a while and read a ton here the boards. Now I’ve gotten myself into a situation that is not talked about very much on here. I’ve fallen in love with a playmate. I really didn’t mean for it to happen, and from what she tells me she didn’t mean for it to happen either. Let me start by saying I’ve been completely open and 100% honest with my wife, and my playmate Becca tells me that she has been mostly open with her husband. We’ll get to that in a bit.
Becca and I met at a club, just a few months ago. From the first I thought she was attractive, I mean let’s face it, we’re here to fuck attractive people, right? My wife, Angie, and I went to the club that night to have some fun. We’re experienced swingers-we don’t play alot, swinging does not rule our lives- but we’ve had our share of fun. The night I met Becca was no different; we hoped to meet some fun people, have some good to great sex, and maybe make some friends we could hang out with on a regular basis.
Becca and I both realized pretty quickly that there is a strong physical attraction between the two of us. The sex is effortless and I’ve never fit together with anyone better. After that first night of being together, my wife Angie and Becca’s husband Rob exchanged numbers. Becca asked for my number but I declined, telling her she could just text Angie if she wanted. I don’t normally like to have communication with the women I play with outside of swinging situations. I was not able to get Becca out of my head for the next several days- which is unusual for me. I threw caution to the wind sent her my number via SLS. She texted me a few hours later. Over the next several days we exchanged texts and even spoke on the phone a few times. All with Angie’s knowledge.
We all four got together again a few weeks later-and it was even better than the first time. It was that night that I recognized that I had developed emotional feelings for Becca, and I was pretty sure that she had developed similar feelings for me.
A few days after we were all together the second time I told my wife about my feelings for Becca. I told her I didn’t know if I was getting our sexual chemistry mixed up with emotion but I thought that could be the case. To my surprise Angie did not freak out. She told me she suspected something was up-given the amount of communication between Becca and I. I took a few weeks to sort out my feelings and spent many more hours talking to both Angie and Becca. I realized that I was probably in love with Becca. And I told them both so. Becca told me she feels the same way. This is not the “oh, I’ve just fucked someone new, I hope they like me best” kind of feeling. We’ve both been with other people since we met and it has not cooled our emotions. This is raw, real and deep.
When I told Angie all of this she gave me license to pursue a relationship with Becca and follow it wherever it may lead. I did not ask for this, Angie offered it to me. Angie is secure about our commitment to each other-I am not leaving my wife and Becca and Angie both know that. Becca also has no intention of leaving her husband.
Becca has talked with her husband Rob about us and the feelings we’ve developed for each other. What she has not told him is that she thinks loves me, she does not know how he would react to that (here is the mostly open part that I alluded to in the first paragraph). She has told him our feelings are deep but has not gone into how much we care for each other. Rob is completely comfortable with texts and calls throughout the day, but not with Becca and I meeting without him and Angie there-even for lunch or dinner. I completely understand and respect this. I don’t like it, but I respect it. I suspect if the shoe were on the other foot I would feel the same way. I really genuinely like Rob by the way, he treats both Becca and Angie really well-and he and Angie have really great sex together. Angie has told Rob that it’s just sex between the two of them and Rob feels the same way. They have no other feelings for each other past that.
Becca and I text every day and talk several times a week; I know about her life and children, and she knows about mine. We have similar interests and lives outside of swinging, we are in similar businesses. We have become emotional rocks for each other. I get emotional needs met from her that I do not get from Angie. Again, I have been upfront with Angie about all this and she is fine with it.
So here are my big questions: Do these things really ever work, or are we on the express train to Dramaville?
Is it possible to keep something like this going long term?
How do we navigate the fact that Rob is not comfortable with Becca and I meeting without him around (again, we will not be going against his wishes on this one) and knowing that he and Angie will want to have more variety in their swinging soon, which will leave less opportunity for Becca and I to be together?
Any thoughts from the wise sages on here are welcome. I’m a big boy-if I’ve being naïve about anything please tell me. I can take it.
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By Bluespruce1
We have been playing with a couple for about five years on and off. We see them at our club, at some resorts and at local house parties. Wherever we are, she always seeks out my husband. We have all been together many times and I enjoy her husband very much, but for my husband and I, it’s literally just sex.
She is very different with my husband lately than with her other partners. I believe she has fallen for him. When I see them together, she is very passionate and attentive to him in ways that I don’t see when she’s with other men. My husband rolls with it and is always a pleaser.
We don’t want to make things uncomfortable or lose their friendship, but we are getting uncomfortable with the notion that she may be interested in a deeper relationship than we have experienced with other partners.
Should we just go with it? I’m not sure I can handle sharing him that way and I don’t think he’s interested in that type of relationship either. Thoughts about when the sex leads to something more?
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By Bluespruce1
So we took in a very good friend about six weeks ago following a very ugly split with her ex. We have know both of them for about ten years and started playing together about three years ago. I actually have known her much longer and before we started hanging out as couples.
Anyway, things have evolved to a point where we are sharing our bed 4-5 nights per week. We are playing together and separately. For example, in the morning it’s not unusual for me to come out of the shower and find her and my husband snuggling, touching and even fucking. I actually love seeing them together and have no feelings of jealousy. She and I are doing the same and actually took the day off Wednesday and simply spent the day in bed alone while he was at work. It’s not all about sex, but it’s clear that she really loves him and I think he feels the same about her. I know that I care deeply for her and may actually be in love as well.
We prepare meals together, hang out in the evenings together, play together and still swing separately, but it is definitely decreasing. Everything feels very natural and relaxed and we are all content - have we found ourselves slipping into a true polyamorous relationship? I never really thought about it and we were talking about it last night.
Thoughts? Warnings? This is uncharted territory.
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By Erik13
My wife and I have been in the swinging lifestyle about a year and a half now and it's been great. We have a friend we've know about a year and after a little encouragement from me and the wife she agreed to play with me. She's not comfortable playing with my wife home yet, so we always plan it when she's out. I think it may be going too far, though. We've gone out to dinner twice, alone, which my wife has told me no more. We talk almost everyday, hike and do stuff like that. I'm afraid this is becoming more than the FWB situation we agreed on.
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