Cuckold - don't like the term

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

I'm not sure but I think the term is cuckold or something like it. It is watching your female have sex...with a guy.

 

I never like generally accepted terminology.

 

If you like to watch your wife get fucked...now there's a terminology.

 

It always made my cock hard to hear anything that resembled it

 

Single guys that enter the lifestyle have no idea generally about this.

 

They seem to think that they are fulfilling something about the male that is inadequate.

 

The ads prove it.

 

For example, I can do you like hubby never did....yada yada yada

 

I don't personally like the term cuckold if that's what it is.

 

It is just that the guy likes to watch his lady have sex with a guy.

 

The hubby of a couple that seeks this is the fear that the guy isn't really understanding what he wants. He knows what she wants in his mind. He doesn't understand its not what she wants but what they BOTH want.

 

Because guys that want to screw others wives think the hubby first of all can't or won't satisfy his wife.

 

Believe me. The wife will never consider you to be the hubby's equal. Maybe for a minute. But that is in fact the taboo thrilling ecstatic spark that leaves lifelong memories.

 

Maybe the partners will never call you again. Even though you did everything right. You obviously did it right for the moment. If they invite you back then thank your lucky stars. It is unlikely that they need it again. You created a memory for them and you also. You didn't create a relationship. Wait for them to call you back. Don't keep trying to repeat it.

 

Also, single guys may think its an easy way to get easy sex.

 

Being the third isn't easy. It involves being a part of a couples life. At least as long as they want you. That may very well be for just one experience. In other words you don't need to count on being re-invited.

 

It is not a long term commitment. It is not being "better" than the hubby.

 

It is simply a great way to have an experience with a couple that is in the long run a great memory.

 

The rare experience will live as long in your mind as theirs. If you are a swinger then you will realize that as a single male you can indeed repeat the experience; but not necessarily with the same couple.

 

Single guys are humans that are usually between relationships or take swinging as a way of life. The latter is rare but must accept the ground rules.

[DragonsLair 26]

One entry found for cuckold.

 

 

Main Entry: cuck·old

Pronunciation: 'k&-k&ld, -(")kOld

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English cokewold

Date: 13th century

: a man whose wife is unfaithful

- cuckold transitive verb

 

Not something good in my book. And doesn't apply to swinging couples.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

On a whim I looked up the definitions on swingersboard and this is the definition I found:

 

CUCKOLD

While the originally meaning is the husband of a wife who cheats, it has come to mean (more often than not) a husband who's wife plays without him and comes home to tell him about it. It can also mean a husband who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch. This can also be reversed on the wife. Since different people use the word to mean different things, it is best to ask the people using the word in order to clarify the definition.

 

I guess I had read this in the past and it was the definition that I had but didn't quite remember. I just assumed this was it.

 

Anyhow I was attempting to suggest that watching ones wife with another partner (in the swinging context) was the brunt of it.

 

I think its more rampant than most would believe. Julie has a great, if not swingers oriented dictionary.

 

Times change.

 

John.

 

Would be interested on your thoughts

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Anyhow, the term I meant was: I like to watch my wife get screwed.

 

Not a bad thing in my book.....cheers, John.

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

CUCKOLD

While the originally meaning is the husband of a wife who cheats, it has come to mean (more often than not) a husband who's wife plays without him and comes home to tell him about it.

This is my interpertation of what it means. Several months ago there was a discussion about this on another board and for one couple this was their main interest. The way they wanted to play the game was that she would say she was going to the store, dropping in to see her mother or whatever, when if fact she was going out to get laid. He liked the idea of never knowing if she was telling the truth when she left the house. For him the thrill was there even if she didn't get laid. The whole time she would be gone he would be thinking she was getting some on the sly. Of course when she came home with that freshly *fucked* flush look, he would demand to know where she had been and then she would confess, they would make up and have hot sex.

 

I guess this would be considered a fetish of sorts?

 

Lori

[4sum 15]

Lori,

 

That's essentially it. We've done "Dates" with our friends spouses as well as Threesomes. If you have an excellent degree of trust, it can be the absolute best. I can't see wanting a steady diet of it, but as a once in a while thing it's an excellent change of pace.

 

There was a particular night when K had a date with our friends hubby. I put the kids to bed and stayed up till around 11 or so and finally went to bed myself. She came in around 12:30 absolutely dripping sex, and climbed into bed with me.

 

I yawned and asked her if she'd had fun. She wrapped her arms around me, gave me an evil grin and moaned "I've been a bad girl". I was off to the races! We had some of the most mind bending sex of our lives and ended up getting both hours sleep that night. She still blushes when she thinks about it.

 

Point is, it was fun not knowing what was going on, but it wouldn't have been possible without that all around trust (her, him, his wife, and myself).

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Originally posted by 4sum

 

I yawned and asked her if she'd had fun. She wrapped her arms around me, gave me an evil grin and moaned "I've been a bad girl". I was off to the races! .

 

It warms my heart to know that you gave her appropriate punishment. Those bad girls need to get it. John

[Brit_Pair 62]

I'd agree with one of the prevalent points in this thread, that there is a marked distinction between men who have a desire to be cuckolded (according to the traditional definition of the word), and men who have a desire to see their wives being sexual with another man. Inevitably, because of the richness of human imagination, there must also be some variances that bridge the gap between the two extremes – for instance, experiences of the type that 4sum described.

 

I have a strong desire for my wife to suck another man’s cock. It’s a desire I’ve expressed to her, and one that excites her too. However, if and when it happens, it’s something I want to see; I have no interest in being told about it once it’s happened off-screen (I know I’m too visual a creature, but I’ve learned to live with my limitations!) At the same time, I won’t have to be forced to watch, nor will the encounter be some form of punishment for me. It will be an experience that hopefully adds to both of our sex-lives, one in which the male will be a temporary, albeit necessary, bit-player.

[MattMann 17]

What are your feelings on not being there but viewing the entire act on video later? We've never done anything but foursomes, but I think if I arranged for her to be with another man, my being there would inhibit her somewhat and I wouldn't get to see her true reactions, but like others, I really can't enjoy it (and may even derive some jealousy) if I can't see what happened. I think a inobtrusive camera would be a nice alternative.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Originally posted by MattMann

What are your feelings on not being there but viewing the entire act on video later? We've never done anything but foursomes, but I think if I arranged for her to be with another man, my being there would inhibit her somewhat and I wouldn't get to see her true reactions, but like others, I really can't enjoy it (and may even derive some jealousy) if I can't see what happened. I think a inobtrusive camera would be a nice alternative.

 

I have tried that and the participants tend to be too focused on trying to get the angles right etc. You need someone to get the "good angles".

 

I would suggest if you feel uncomfortable maybe you should have one of your couple friends work with you on this one. Just a thought,

 

John.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Quote

Originally posted by MattMann

What are your feelings on not being there but viewing the entire act on video later? We've never done anything but foursomes, but I think if I arranged for her to be with another man, my being there would inhibit her somewhat and I wouldn't get to see her true reactions, but like others, I really can't enjoy it (and may even derive some jealousy) if I can't see what happened. I think a inobtrusive camera would be a nice alternative.

We once saw a moderate quality soft-core movie (the made-for-television type) that featured a similar scenario. Animal Instincts?. Something like that. Anyway, sex had apparently lost its tang for the the husband, but when he came home from work unexpectedly and found frustrated wifey satisfying her urges with the tv repair man, he got his appetite back. So they set up lots of meetings at their house, and while she fucked herself senseless with men and women, he watched from the spare bedroom via the video camera they'd hidden in the corner of the room. Seemed to work for him!

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

I don't object to my wife getting fucked.

 

I do object to the term cuckhold. For over 700 years it has been a pejorative. A cuckolded husband was a picture of scorn and derision.

 

It is implicit in the old definition that the cuckolded husband of yore DID NOT want his wife fucking other men.

 

Thus the "modern' usage is not really accurate.

 

But you really can't win an argument against language change- it has a whim of it's own.

 

Still, not I term I will use.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

I think the term should be swinging.

 

john

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

I think the term should be swinging.

 

john

 

Aye, dead on mate.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Yep, with you both on this one guys.

 

Perhaps we should take it upon ourselves to come up with a more appropriate term and set about instigating a language change?

[MattMann 17]

That word always sounded like a specimen from "Olsen's Book of British Birds" anyway.

 

How about fuckold?

 

Nah, that sounds like some sort of fetish for geriatrics.

 

Suckold? HandtoHold?

[Brit_Pair 62]

The technical (scientific?) term for a group of three people where two have sex while one watches is candaulism. While the definition isn't necessarily an exact fit, perhaps the word could be apapted (and adopted) in some form or other:

• Candle
• Candlestick
• Candlewick
• Candystriper
• Candyman (just don't say it 5 times looking in a mirror!)
• Candy Boy (only kidding there )

Candyman is my choice of those. It has a playful nonchalance that hints at the depravity of its true meaning!!

 

Any further thoughts?

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

"Candyman" makes me think of a pedophile masturbating under a rain coat while offering a 9 year old girl a piece of candy and saying "Want some candy little girl?"

 

But at least someone's trying to come up with a name

[MattMann 17]

Voyeurwifelooksterrific?

[Brit_Pair 62]

Quote

Originally posted by Nymph an' Satyr

"Candyman" makes me think of a pedophile masturbating under a rain coat while offering a 9 year old girl a piece of candy and saying "Want some candy little girl?"

What about Candyjack instead?

 

Failing that, and working along similar lines, Troilism is a term for three people having sex together. Therefore:

• Troiler (pronounced 'troy_ler')
• Troll
• Toiler

Similarly, Troika can be used to describe three people working together(!), which would lead to:

• Troikan
• Troikar
• Troiker

Of those two lists, I quite like troikan. Doubtless that will also remind someone of something unsavoury. ?

[MattMann 17]

All good efforts, but the French already have a word for a threesome that most people use. However, menage a trois doesn't address the aspect of the husband's voyeuristic pleasure being derived from the threesome.

 

How about voytrois, or the anglicized voytroy?

[Brit_Pair 62]

Quote

Originally posted by MattMann

All good efforts, but the French already have a word for a threesome that most people use.

And use mistakenly. Menage a trois (literally "household of three") refers to an arrangement where three people live together, usually a married couple and the lover of one of them. Its true meaning has been lost (or at least obscured), because most people use it incorrectly. The very reason that I didn't employ it (or some variant of it) in either of my posts above.

[MattMann 17]

Its true meaning has been lost (or at least obscured), because most people use it incorrectly.

 

Don't you hate when people do that? I have the same pet peeve about people using schizophrenia to mean split personality when it is not all the same thing.

 

But we digress, is there a word that:

1. Describes the act of a male-female-male sexual liaison (specifically husband, wife and second man) and

2. Describe the erotic pleasure derived by the husband from the third male pleasing his wife?

[Brit_Pair 62]

Now I'm no Latin scholar, but what about this?

 

Spectare Uxor Accipere Alius

 

which translates as:

 

Spectare - watch

Uxor - wife

Accipere - accept / receive / take in

Alius - another man

 

With some creative accounting, that can be shortened to SUAA (pronounced 'sewar') Hardly flattering though.

 

So we're left with an S, a U and 2 A's, which could be read as SUT(t for 2)A, and which could be further corrupted into sutar, or better yet, 'sutor'.

 

Hence:

 

Sutor

A man who takes pleasure from seeing his wife/partner being sexually intimate with another man

 

A few stretches, admittedly, but a brand new word, non-offensive (I think) which seems to meet the requirements.

 

Should I patent it now?

[MattMann 17]

Spot on, I say go with that.

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

I kinda like it too

 

Some one who knows how should set up a poll, with a linguistic explanation, and get general board reaction

[sexualhealingmn 15]

Hi - I'm trying to understand this whole Cuckold thing too....my husband enjoys watching me with another man, which is why we typically have threesomes....although he likes hearing about me meeting someone during the day without him there...or watching it on video tape.

I checked on the internet and I'm not sure if I like the definition of what they say a cuckold is .... some websites define it as a man who likes to be dominated and enjoys the thought of his wife with another man, but somehow the wife degrades him for one reason or another - and another thing I've noticed is a lot of interrational cuckold's.....now neither one of these fall in the category of what we like to do ...so I call it swinging....because it's what we are both enjoying it sexually...

[Guest Seymore]

"cuckold" is a very outdated word for a man who's wife cheats on him. The word was meant to mean that the man had something to be ashamed of. In other words, it was considered so humiliating to have your wife cheat on you, that they actually had a word to describe the man. The idea was that she was cheating because he wasnt man enough to satisfy her sexually. Any man who couldn't "keep" his wife was thought of as less of a man (remember the rhyme "Peter Peter pumkin eater"?) and was referred to as a cuckold.

 

Nowadays it's sort of a BD/SM thing, only mental pain instead of physical pain. The woman has sex with other men and humiliates the husband by doing so. The guy gets off on the intense jealousy and humiliation of being made to feel inadequete. That's the reason for the inter-racial part of it. It's the whole stereotype of black guys being hung studs.

[Vjklander 138]

Voyeur

[FTnPV 15]

I just call it "wife watching". It is exactly what it is. It's not demeaning in any way as thats' not our thing. Just my opinion!

[sportync 20]

Well, I've given this question some thought and I have come up with a word that many women might agree would properly describe a husband who enjoys watching his wife getting it on with another guy...."outstanding!" There are a lot of husbands that wouldn't even consider that type of activity, let alone go along with it. And the word works pretty well because the husband could be out standing in the yard and peeping through the window while the wife and her friend are gettin' jiggie with it!

 

Sportync

[loring1950 15]

I agree with you the thought of seeing my wife with another man is a turn-on. Watching her being taken and she giving another oral until he cums gets me very excited. Maybe perverted but different strokes for different folks...LOL

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

You say "perverted" like that's a bad thing

[Buck 17]

Loring 1950, if thinking about watching your wife having sex with another man is a turn on to you is perverted then there are a hell of a lot of us that are perverted. I, too, have the same fantasy and until I started reading this forum I didn't realize how many other guys have it too. I felt the way you do but now I see it's "normal" for a lot of us. As for me, I don't know what the correct word for it is, but the thought is a turn on and it has everything to do with how sexy I think my wife is, and not anything to do with me feeling dominated or inadequate.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by Brit_Pair

Now I'm no Latin scholar, but what about this?

 

Spectare Uxor Accipere Alius

 

which translates as:

 

Spectare - watch

Uxor - wife

Accipere - accept / receive / take in

Alius - another man

 

With some creative accounting, that can be shortened to SUAA (pronounced 'sewar') Hardly flattering though.

 

So we're left with an S, a U and 2 A's, which could be read as SUT(t for 2)A, and which could be further corrupted into sutar, or better yet, 'sutor'.

 

Hence:

 

Sutor

A man who takes pleasure from seeing his wife/partner being sexually intimate with another man

Still think it holds water.

[FTnPV 15]

I'm a pervert? That's something new? LOL, I have said that since I first began thinking about sex!

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

I think that Seymore made an important observation- there are some men who get off on being humiliated by their wife being serviced by another man. In this case "cuckold" may very well be the right term. They certainly seem to think so.

 

Most of the swing crowd, I strongly suspect, are not interested in the humiliation factor. Rather they enjoy watching their wife being pleasured, they enjoy the raw sexuality, they enjoy watching others desire & appreciate what they "have" (Not meant as objectifing the wife.) At least that's my feeling.

 

Vjklander's "voyeur" is accurate, but only a component of a much larger range of emotions.

 

So I think "cuckold" does accurately describe one set of behaviors and interpersonal relationships. Just not the interpersonal relationships that many/most swingers have.

 

I would categorize cuckoldism as a fetish. But I'm not a shrink, so what the hell do I know....

 

[Star Dragon 15]

I always knew it was a derogatory term indicating that the man is being cheated on by his wife (without or with his knowledge, but in either case WITHOUT his permission). Often people in the community knew what a 'loose' woman the wife was (meaning unfaithful, not meaning a swinger - two different things entirely!) and talked about the husband behind his back. "the cuckhold husband"...

 

A few weeks ago Children of Dune was on. Good movie (sequel to Dune if any of you saw the original). Duncan Idaho is cloned and ends up marrying Alia. She ends up having an affair with one of her "priests"... Poor Duncan happens to be walking near a bedroom and hears her in the throes of passion and looks through the blinds as another man is drilling her. He plans his revenge and gets it months later.

 

It was so cool the way he did it. In front of a neutral tribe of old friends he proclaims "the cuckhold husband thanks you for this opportunity" as he slits the bastards throat (Meaning - I knew you were fucking her you bastard time for payback). This forces the neutral tribe to kill him in return but means the must now oppose the evil government for killing him. A worthy sacrifice for the good of all and yet still gets his personal revenge in to. Too bad he had to die though (the character)...

 

It was amusing to see an alien world set 10,000 years into the future use the word though." Guess it's because it has a timeless quality. (unfortunately)

[meowkittyhascla 17]

Not only do men enjoy watching their wives having sex with another man....but so do the ladies! I love to watch my husband getting it on with another woman...to watch his facial expressions and hers when they are pleasing each other is a turn on...not to mention the sounds of their moaning. How do the rest of you feel about this?

"Sex is an expression of trust between couples!" --AJ

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Originally posted by meowkittyhascla

Not only do men enjoy watching their wives having sex with another man....but so do the ladies! I love to watch my husband getting it on with another woman...to watch his facial expressions and hers when they are pleasing each other is a turn on...not to mention the sounds of their moaning. How do the rest of you feel about this?

"Sex is an expression of trust between couples!" --AJ

 

Oh I'm OK with it....yeah....I am ok with it....yeah...

 

John

[Guest beano]

I've never actually seen my wife have sex with another man but the thoughts always turned me on and I have to admit it is a jealousy thing. It's funny, I never thought that something like that would turn me on... maybe I'm just one of those guys who get's so wrapped up in sex that I always have to push the limits, but the jealousy/possesive violation is definitely the one that turns me on the most.

 

I first realized it with my highschool girlfriend. We'd start to have phone sex and eventually it got dirtier and dirtier. We'd push the limits including having sex slowly under the covers and jerking eachother off while friends were in the room (without them knowing of course). But the fantasies led to her having sex with my best friend... something I assume he never knew. He was a really good looking guy and I knew my girlfriend had a bit of a crush on him. It bothered me on one level, but you know it also really turned me on. The fact that it was my friend stung and it turned me on even more. I mean I knew she love me and it turned me on that she really wanted to fuck him. She'd even call out his name during sex at times, with my encouragement of course.

 

Now, years later I'm married to another hot woman. She's fairly horny but she's much less comfortable with fantasizing about my friends. She'll fantasize about women, rape, and occasionally even young boys, but she seems uncomfortable with women. Once, when we were in Italy we had the windows open and we were fully aware that we were visible while two men were watching us fuck. I tried to get her on top so that they'd get a better view. The idea turns her on but it's much too daring for her. She does let me take nude pictures of her, some of her spectacular ass... I have to say I have let my friend view them. He didn't exactly turn away from them but he was obviously uncomfortable by it. Part of me would really like to see the two of them get it on, but I know as soon as I came from jerking off it would disturb me to no end, plus I don't think his girl would approve (she's hot too, in fact he and I bring up them having a lesbian affair in jest all the time, I don't know if he's as serious about it as I am).

 

I still sometimes think about that first girlfriend... I wonder who she's fucking now?

[marriedwet 34]

We are swingers that have a lot of fun in both the various clubs, nudist resorts & adult theaters. The best part of the "Cuckold" thing is in the theaters. Ok...so call it a strange reason, but it's the idea of the unknown, secret, dark place that things happen. We both have sex together & with other couples in the theaters, but the part we find exciting is the fantasy we enjoy when I let myself do things for hubby & all the others to see. I get naked & let all to play with me, including oral. I stand up & walk around as I finger myself. I finally lived my ultimate fantasy when I was able to have sex with a really big black guy (10") while hubby watched. I did him bareback & he shot his CUM into my pussy. After that, hubby did me anal. Long story short...any time we go now, we always look for the big black guys. If you haven't tried one, you can't begin to imagine how HOT it feels, especially with your other half watching you.facelick

 

Hope to hear more about this from you girls. And if you do, how about bareback?:

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Originally posted by marriedwet

We are swingers that have a lot of fun in both the various clubs, nudist resorts & adult theaters. The best part of the "Cuckold" thing is in the theaters. Ok...so call it a strange reason, but it's the idea of the unknown, secret, dark place that things happen. We both have sex together & with other couples in the theaters, but the part we find exciting is the fantasy we enjoy when I let myself do things for hubby & all the others to see. I get naked & let all to play with me, including oral. I stand up & walk around as I finger myself. I finally lived my ultimate fantasy when I was able to have sex with a really big black guy (10") while hubby watched. I did him bareback & he shot his CUM into my pussy. After that, hubby did me anal. Long story short...any time we go now, we always look for the big black guys. If you haven't tried one, you can't begin to imagine how HOT it feels, especially with your other half watching you.facelick

 

Hope to hear more about this from you girls. And if you do, how about bareback?:

 

Ya know I did that once. The place was full of perverts. We had a gran time.

 

John

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Old thread, but what makes it interesting is how this term has stuck as a genre of porn. I wonder though if what the porn-watching world at large thinks is a cuckold is the same as what the swinger males here thinks is a cuckold? Just because I like seeing my wife happy and having fun having sex with another guy doesn't make me, or anyone else who enjoys that, a cuckold in my book.

 

What do others think?

[couplers 4,614]

Not only do men enjoy watching their wives having sex with another man....but so do the ladies! I love to watch my husband getting it on with another woman...to watch his facial expressions and hers when they are pleasing each other is a turn on...not to mention the sounds of their moaning. How do the rest of you feel about this?

That's me! It is jealousy and pain and validation, and when it's over I want them to do it again (after I lick her to another orgasm and him to another erection).

[couplers 4,614]

... I knew she love me and it turned me on that she really wanted to fuck him...

Once you realize that you and your spouse are in love while fucking others, you realize how natural it is.