Men, how would you react if a man started giving you oral?

[openmindedcpl 16]

Swingers are open minded about sex. It is about excitement, thrill, new experiences, and fun. A given. Among women, a lot of wives are bi and enjoy dick and pussy too.

 

Here comes that question, a spin-off of Tia Vampire's thread. You, your bi wife, and her bi female friend go to a nude beach. The girls began to play around and soon are masturbating each other, disregarding the dozen who pass by, some stopping to watch before walking on. You're half hard watching. A guy stops to watch the show the girls are putting on. He starts to get hard and after a few minutes you recognize you are getting a little too turned on and you decide to go for a walk up the beach to cool off. The guy stays to watch but a minute later walks on too. He soon catches up to you and you walk and talk till out of sight of anyone. You eventually stop and sit down on the sand to rest and the conversation has been about the girl/girl play your wife and friend were having and both of you, as guys do thinking about such things, start to get hard. Your conversation has made both of you really horny and both of you begin to occasionally stroke yourselves. The conversation evolves to the fact women can enjoy the fun of a dick AND pussy while the guy only gets pussy. You say that by simple math, guys are missing half the sex compared to girls. There is no fear your wife enjoying another woman's hot wet pussy, as you do, would make her or you think of her as a lesbian. Yet guys come with the mentality that any m/m contact is gay, without merit.

 

You are both horny, slowly jacking yourselves off while talking. (I am writing this thread so it is mandatory that you magically know he is of no threat, and he is clean and STD free.) You are enjoying his company and conversation. He suddenly stands up and before you can react, steps forward and his dick is in your face. He puts his hand softly on your head and when you open your mouth to ask him....he slips his dick in your mouth. Your instinct is to pull away, but his hand is gently encouraging you not to, not forcing you. There is no one to see, you will never see him again, no one will ever know. His dick is already in your mouth. It is what a dick is, firm, fleshy soft and warm. Not an unpleasant sensation, and a first new something you have experienced since the first time you ate pussy.

 

Would you, as an open-minded swinger who likes that his wife is bi ...

 

1. Be angry

2. Pull away and say I'm not into that.

3. Let it continue.

4. If you enjoyed the experience, think you would do it again sometime.

5. Think 'Done That' and not do bi again.

[pink_banana 15]

I'd let it continue and be enthusiastic!

[good times 991]

I can't really say any of the answers would really work for me because you don't have a, "He is going to get hurt" selection in your poll. I guess "Be Angry" would kind of work, but it just doesn't seem to convey the intensity of what my reaction would be if this, or something similar, were to somehow happen to me. Even if I wasn't 100% straight, and didn't find the idea of a guy's dick in my mouth repugnant, this scenario is unlikely to happen in my life for any number of reasons, and I would not tolerate this type of behavior toward me from anyone, man or woman. If someone comes up and violates my commonly accepted comfort zone, without my mutual consent, they would know shortly, in no uncertain terms, how unacceptable I find their behavior.

[Chicup 41]

And who said 'open minded' wasn't a code phrase?

 

I'd also not be opening my mouth to ask anything if a guy puts his dick in my face, nor would I allow him to guide my head. Sorry but this reads like gay porno, not a swinger situation (starting with talking while jacking off).

[lovinher 505]

I didn't vote because there is no option of "it would never had gone that far"

[sereneiders 263]

I agree with Chicup here. It could be the beginning of a bi erotic/porn story of the sort you'd find on many, many websites but here. BTW, this is the first post from the OP, so it's very likely he doesn't know what swinging is about, nor how "artificial" the whole set up is: gals masturbating in the beach in front of "dozens" of people passing by... and just ONE guy stopping to watch, he goes after you afterwards... and he "put his cock in your face" or "guide your head"??? WTF????

 

Where's the option "I'd stop reading the story and look for something better to do"?

[good times 991]

What? You mean to tell me that when you guys go to the beach you don't sit around in secluded spots and masturbate with strangers?

[wifes_sex_slave 16]

Uninvited, unexpected... I'd bite his fucking dick off! I think my wife would do the same.

[EternallySingle 32]

That was an interesting story, but the original poster must have been a woman because something happened in that story that no self respecting man would ever do...he left the woman he brought to a nude beach alone.

 

Sorry lady, that might have been a good fantasy, but no man leaves his wife or girlfriend (or even the woman he just met for sex) alone in a sexually charged situation UNLESS SHE TELLS HIM TO LEAVE!!!! We just aren't wired that way. Therefore, the rest of the scenario would never have happened.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I haven't been around in a while and the first thing I see is this thread. Okaaaay, just my 2 cents... two ladies on the beach playing with each other, one of which is mrs. Fun . I'm not going to walk away...

 

After a cup of coffee and some thought I can only say that who ever said "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" never had any good bush!

[Cpl2share 147]

That will teach me to assume. I did not read the story, just based my response on an assumption that it was a fondle during a swing situation. Since that is NOT what the poll was about: I would very calmly beat the hell out of anyone who tried to violate me. As other posters said, it would never go that far. If I am with two women who are pleasuring each other I am not going to walk away with another man to a secluded area.

[openmindedcpl 16]

I wrote this thread. I love this site. You can seek advice, have questions answered and a form where you can express your views, see what others think. I neither advocate nor promote anything, it is merely something to think about. There are many good people on this site, intelligent, much subject savvy and experienced and most of all articulate. Others are totally off base, miss key elements of what is said and insert off the wall things of their own to come to a conclusion and insinuate that the writer is an idiot or a fake. I never even intimated that he purposely followed. He left last and walking behind me is following. You give it a different meaning. I would be cautious if followed too, in your sense. I would come up swinging if someone walked up to me and started that. I said they had walked along together for some time, stopped and talked for some time. I made every inference that for a non bi-sexual reason hormones were at work at the time of the first move. It was a thread that took a person that was open-minded enough to let other men fuck his wife and watch her and a friend eat each other's pussy (swinging is not the common sexual activity of couples). You have to be open-minded to accept wife swapping as fun.

 

Are you smarter than a fifth grader? If you are NOT open minded....then class, you are... what ...minded? If you attach the idea that open-minded is a code word for gay, then by your deciphering you must be gay. I put the man into a situation in which his hormones were flowing. I made the thought of the f/f sex that they watched as a reason for having a woodie. No bi intent mentioned. Made it clear they were comfortable enough with each other not to be too embarrassed to occasionally stroke themselves. I made the approach very sudden and undiscussed to free him of any pre-thought about saying yes or no to an oral m/m encounter. The question was... how many guys would look upon the situation as it was and be confident enough they were NOT gay, didn't 'like' men, but would at least try something it to see how it felt in a guy's mouth, without being ashamed of it or homophobic about it. Ask about something and some just answer. Others claw at the cage, rant, rave, commit violence, cry out to everyone, 'I am not one of them'! While others just assume no one would ever think they were. I think the word 'homophobic' was coined for these people who claim they are not when they were never asked or assumed to be. This seems to me that 'homophobic' conjures up the thought "why is he raving on so?" Me doth think ye protest too much.

 

The beach exists. It is named Playalinda Beach. It is Part of the Cape Canaveral Natural Wildlife Preserve and the south end access ends at the north end of Cape Canaveral. So close to the shuttle launch pad that the road is closed when the shuttle is on the pad. It extends maybe 30 miles north. I visited the nude beach a couple of times a year to look at pussy for over thirty-five years. I have seen girls playing with each other in front of everyone. At the stair ramp over the dune there may be 100 people in a small area. A wife with a female friend would be completely safe. I have seen guys walking on the beach with their wife or girlfriend with their dick straight up. I have seen males laying alone playing with themselves. I have seen couples fucking and not stop as people walk by. I have seen men on their knees sucking another guy off.

 

I had a dream when I was divorced and about fifty. Dreamed I went to Playalinda and some guy walks up to me, we talk for some time, and he just puts his dick in my mouth. Woke up with a hard-on. Was confused and wondered why such a dream would cause me a hard-on. I had never even thought about a dick. That was it! I had never thought about it! Girls love to suck it, what does it feel like in their mouth? I know I am not gay, but what does a dick feel like in your mouth? Made me curious. And yes, it made me open-minded enough to want to find out. Took me six months to get up the courage to go to the beach with the intention of finding out. Said Hi to every guy who walked by. Waved. Touched myself as we walked past 10 feet apart, told some they had a nice dick. Nothing happened. Finally sat down alone. One guy was about 50 yards away laying in the shallow of the beach sand run out and not obvious but could see him. I saw a wife and husband walking up the beach maybe 5 minutes stroll away. For kicks I sat there and played with myself until I had it up. I laid down and it stood straight up. They walked by about 50 feet away, he looked, then looked away. She never stopped looking, held her hand at her thigh and gave my the thumbs up. They turned and went back and she had her head over her shoulder looking.

 

I continued to occasionally stroke it to keep it up, then I saw the guy 50 yards away start walking towards me. Asked me if I liked playing with it. Blurted out 'I want to suck one for the first time.' Don't know where that came from even, but that's what I said. He said well.... I don't know. I thought oh no! Then he said let's walk up the beach where no one can see.

 

I jumped up and walking we went. He started towards a dip in the sand dunes. He began to get it up. A few yards we were there, he was full up. I dropped to my knees and he slipped it in my mouth.

 

There is such a place. Things I said I have seen happen. And it was the biggest thrill since I first ate pussy.

 

From the poll, when I looked at it, 7 guys said they would continue out of 25. That's one in four. That's all I wondered. A lot did not vote, so were not interested. Some answered in what I think most would call a homophobic way. You told us who you are. Be cool with it, be against it, be "it doesn't apply to me about it". Why get so upset you need to lash out to prove your masculinity when it has never been questioned?

[Mr. Truelove 81]

The question should have just said, "Are you gay?"

 

Or, I know that some men on here like a little M/M play without calling themselves gay so I guess you could put down, "Would you be open to Male male play?" (Yes) (No). Because that is all this post succeeded in doing (even less accurate though as even people that are open to male/male play would not answer yes to being sexually assaulted.

 

You gave some sort of long story that instead of asking the simple question that you really wanted to ask, complicated with issues of non-consent and unlikely situations/impossibilities.

 

Negative reactions to this had everything to do with how the question was asked, and very little to do with homophobia.

[at-a-kiss 15]

As most are replying, would not ever happen in that way. I am not sure about some one just getting up and forcing me! That would probably draw an adverse reaction. In a mfm play I'm not sure as I have never had a penis in my mouth although I'm not sure that I wouldn't not think about it. I do enjoy anal play with my wife.(Never actually been with a man) The thought has intrigued me and I would be more than willing to have straight sex. Good story. I do not consider myself gay, I have never liked the thought of kissing a man and am not attracted to the man, that said I am attracted to a penis.

[cubnamy1995 124]

I agree with the others that it would never have gotten that far. Nothing against anyone who's into that, but not my thing. I like vagina. Always have. Don't need to expand on that.

[lovinher 505]

I guess for us straight guys it is impossible for us to be open minded. Sound familiar? If a guy wants to suck a dick or have one in his ass he is either bi or gay. What else is it? Nothing wrong with either but how many times have we seen I'm not bi or gay but I gave a guy a blow job and loved it? I could see a guy trying it out and finding out it's not for him. But if you liked it and seek it you are bi at least.

 

Come on guys just admit it. Nobody here is anti bi or anti gay. But you will hear from me and many others when someone posts straight men are not open minded because we want nothing to do with a man.

 

The men that post this nonsense are looking for ways to justify their own sexuality to themselves or others. So they try to convince us that WE have a problem. Then, to top it off when we respond we MUST be gay or bi for saying otherwise. So why do we respond? Because it is a discussion board.

[sereneiders 263]

openmidnedcpl,

 

I don't know about the others, nor the meaning this forum have for them. To me, this is a place where people discuss (mostly) swinging related issues, seek for advice and where swingers portraits themselves for the rest of the society, i.e., the vanilla, perhaps curious, guys wanting to have a clue of what this is about and the kind of people they could find around.

 

So, you came to this forum without introducing yourself, not allowing us to know anything about yourself, who you are, what's your story, and your first act here is to produce a poll, moreover one that has nothing to do with swinging, but with a very elaborated sexual fantasy of you about an scenario unfeasible among swingers, thus, grounded on a set of prejudices about our supposed behavior, able to mislead the casual vanilla reader into believe it could be possible.

 

For example: that the guy from a swinger's couple would leave alone his wife making out with another gal, naked in the beach, surrounded of dozens of people (a very dangerous situation for any woman), without even tell her he's leaving, and end up engaging in some other activity forgetting about his wife fate. And it doesn't care if this activity were sexual as well, although being a sexual one adds another ingredient: this guy would be so selfish he only care about himself, his lust, no matter if the dozen guys surrounding his wife and the other gal were gang-raping them.

 

I wonder how well portrayed we would be for this casual vanilla reader after reaching to the same conclusions I just did about the possible "side effects" for such an scenario.

 

You didn't even care to add the option "none of the above", which is the logical option to choose for the swingers. Also, I wonder who answered your poll, because I think most swingers guys (i.e., married ones, singles aren't swingers by definition) wouldn't even consider to answer it.

 

You didn't even care to look around in the forum for the proper section where to make this pool: you did it in the "General Swingers Stuff"... as if this really were having to do with swinging.

 

You were careless.

 

In any case, my guts tells me you're a lurker wanting to validate your own sexual fantasy against (what you suppose is) the reality as to "strengthen" it for a good jack off, attempting to use us all in the process.

 

Notice that I am not against sharing sexual fantasies, nor asking theoretical questions about "what would you do" if inside such a fantasy. I can play this game as much as the next guy, however, I wouldn't do it in this board, and at least, not in this section of the board, because I feel it'd be disrespectful for the real swingers dealing with real life scenarios, and sometimes at high levels of risks for themselves and their relationships.

 

Of course, I am aware the forum spirit is to allow anyone, even trolls, to post whatever they want, you have the right to make this poll, and I'd be the first one defending your right to do it. The same way, I have the right to post my opinion about this poll, about this poll author, about your behavior, and about the ways I feel this poll negatively affects us all, and this is what I am doing.

 

So, please, let's start over. I'd suggest you to make a post in the "Introductions" section, tell us who you are, what sort of relationship you have, and why you're here. At least allow the reader to tell apart the reality form the fantasy.

 

PS: It doesn't exist, the "absolutely open-minded" guy. Everyone is narrow-minded in some or another aspect, and some guys, luckily, get to become open-minded about a couple of things. FYI, swingers are open-minded about sexuality, but narrow-minded about reasons to break the rules or risk to produce emotional harm to themselves or other people. And IMO this narrowing is pretty healthy. So, I already know I am not being as open-minded as you'd like me to be here, and it is because I don't want to be.

[EternallySingle 32]

I understand your point, openmindedcpl, but based on how the story read, my answer was "wouldn't leave my woman without her consent." After you explained it, it is still "wouldn't leave my woman without prior consent." As for the rest, no, I wouldn't simply because he didn't ask first. I don't care who I'm with, kissing and a quick pinch here or there is as far as I go without her either encouraging me to go further or me asking her and she agreeing to go further. Someone has got to keep the hormones under some semblance of control, and I've been brought up to believe that someone should be the man. Nothing homophobic about that, just good manners.

[new2wild 35]

Ok we are new here, as well as new to swinging. That being said.

 

Openmindedcpl, I read your post and like many men that responded by voting be angry. Not that I am a homophobe, in the proper situation I might play with him or more. I have to somewhat agree with sereneiders but understand you felt you were leading up to the question properly. But it seemed a little dominating/forceful to me. I don't think very many men would feel comfortable being dominated, or forced into man on man sex, and would respond accordingly.

 

I feel it would have been better received by the group had it evolved from a 4some (2 couples) and proceeded gently from that point.

 

P.S. I really tried to take your post in the everything/everyone is safe notion that I believe it was meant, but still agree on not leaving the ladies alone.

[r_poseidon 17]

I dunno. Two naked hotties fingering each other and all sorts of fun stuff? I don't think ANYTHING could persuade me to leave that!!

[good times 991]

Openmindedcpl, you seem to make the assumption that if the people here do not embrace the scenario that you posed in your original post that it somehow means that we are not open-minded, in my opinion, this is an assumption that is totally incorrect.

 

In your followup post, the scenario you presented is a totally different one as all parties involved were consenting, unlike your original post in which their is no prior consent by the guy getting the dick stuck in his mouth. Therefore, it is no surprise to me that the reaction to your original scenario turned out as it did.

 

In my original reply I said that this was unlikely to ever happen to me and left it at that. From that, and others responses you assume we are narrow-minded, yet I doubt if judged by comparing this group to the population at large that anyone could consider those that responded to your post even slightly narrow-minded.

 

The reasons that I said that this was unlikely to ever happen to me starts at the very beginning. Your scenario starts on a nude beach, I am not a nudist nor does nudity by itself turn me on. I am not narrow-minded about it though, if it blows your dress up or gets you excited, I have no problem with that. Then in the scenario you wanted me to consider, my wife would be on that nude beach making out with another woman, and while again we aren't narrow-minded about that as far as accepting people who are into that, my wife is not bisexual so that wouldn't happen either. Then you want me to imagine myself taking a walk while my wife is going at it with this girl she isn't into on a nude beach that we wouldn't walk across the street to get to and I have to say, like the others, I would never leave my wife in such a situation even if we did somehow defy all of our preferences and find ourselves in that situation. Next I am supposed to imagine myself sitting in a secluded spot stroking my happy stick in front of another guy. Sorry, again this is something that wouldn't happen because I am not an exhibitionist and can't even imagine spanking my monkey in front of anyone unless I was getting it ready for some pussy. I am then to imagine that the guy jumps up and is waving his tallywhacker in my face, and am further expected in this scenario to now ask him, "what's up" or some such question. In actuality, I would be up and running by then, but if the guy did by some coincidence catch me off guard, and actually get his wiener past my lips, he would find that when seeking pleasure in the future he would have a difficult time explaining the scars on his willy from having to have it surgically reattached, and it would be much more difficult finding a place to live after being prosecuted and registered as a sex offender.

 

So, I assure you that up until the time that your scenario became a sexual assault I am totally open-minded to people engaging in those types of activities if that is what turns them on. That I am not interested in personally participating in these activities does not mean that I am less open-minded to them than someone who is, it just means that I know what I like and what I don't like as personal preferences. In other words, those things just don't turn me on.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

...It could be the beginning of a bi erotic/porn story of the sort you'd fine on many, many websites but here. BTW, this is the first post from the OP, so it's very likely he doesn't know what swinging is about, nor how "artificial" the whole set up is:

openmindedcpl ~

 

I think sereneiders statement above sums it up well. You are receiving replies from people who are well-read on swinging and many also who are very experienced swingers. Because of this, you may not yet be able to appreciate where everyone is speaking from: experience.

 

I think you're at your starting point guided by misdirected belief (possibly due to porn films, stories, or what not) that swingers do about anything fantasized without giving prior thought of consequence, which is not true in most cases.

 

We're trying to help you see how swingers really think things through. We ARE living out many of our fantasies, and those we don't live out are probably ones we know wouldn't be practical or as exciting as the "dreams" we have about them.

 

I think you felt like writing about your fantasies which were stimulated by your real sexual experience. You can now choose to learn about what swinging really requires to be sensible (and yes, there are lots of us sensible folks swinging) or you can forgo the education and instead wait and see what comes along next...on a beach, or wherever you find it.

 

You might consider polishing up your story (told in your second post) and contributing it somewhere on the net, since you enjoy writing about sexual adventures.

 

LM

[spectraschain 21]

For all the bullshit this thread has created, one can't help to notice the gains "let it continue" is making....

it's very likely he doesn't know what swinging is about, nor how "artificial" the whole set up is:

It would appear "he" is not the only one...

[Cpl2share 147]

The big difference between the original post and the second story of what actually happened is the violation factor. Neither of us find M/M sex arousing. This does not make us close minded, but does mean that we know what is appealing to us. I would not be as angry, but I would still feel violated if a woman walked up to me and stuck a tit in my mouth without first receiving some indication that I was receptive to such a thing. Likewise, Mrs. Cpl would be greatly offended and probably bite any mans tackle off if he just jammed it into her mouth or anywhere else without permission. That does not make her a lesbian does it? (and if so, thank the lord she is a bisexual one)

[WesternSwing 504]

I can honestly say that none of the answers fit me because I would have never let it get to that point. This doesn't diminish the OP's question though since it is obviously something he has thought about. So from that light, I say, as an "open-minded" person... to each his own. It wouldn't work for me, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

Hello all.

 

I think I know the point the poster is really trying to make. At a party group I attend one of the guys said he would get violent if someone even asked him if he wanted to engage on M/M play. He asked if the rest of the guys were in agreement with him. This same fellow is enthusiastic about it when his wife does some F/F play.

 

I had to tell him I most certainly WAS NOT in agreement about that. After all, it's a sex party. I don't care who asks who to do what. Just so long as they ask and respect the answer they get. If a person can't handle being asked they shouldn't go to those sort of parties.

 

In the scenario the poster laid out my only real objection (other than leaving the ladies alone, naked among strangers) is that the guy didn't ask permission before jamming his dick down someone's throat. There's no need to have the violent reaction to the very idea that some guys have. If a simple "no thanks" solves the trouble why not leave it at that?

[themariner 27]

What is wrong with two guys sucking each other off if the wives are into watching it? I think most women want to watch their man suck another man's cock but because of the stigma of being called gay they will not enjoy watching their man suck another man. Women, drop your preconceptions and watch your man suck another man's cock. You will see it really turns you on. (yeah a lot of the porn women buy is man on man).

 

And yes, I have sucked another man's cock and I enjoyed it very much.

[Guest rdy46227]

The problem here is that he assumed, and didn't ask outright.

 

My response could well be to push him away with words like "ask first!"

[Guest thewriter]

I would ask him if he wanted me cum in his mouth, then ask him if he wanted me to suck him off.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

It makes me laugh that this question keeps coming up, no pun intended. Either you are into it or you are not. If you say no upfront then it means no.

 

I look at it this way.

If a female says she is not into anal but a guy starts to go there, is she just going to go along?

If you say you are not into BSDM and someone whips out a crop slaps it across your ass are you not going to react?

If a female says no to cumming in her mouth, but the guys does anyway is it going to bother you?

If you say you are not into rain games and someone starts pissing on you is that okay?

If you have a no sex without condom rule and the guy just ignores it are you going to say what the hell let's do it?

 

I would be irritated as hell about any and all of the above because they are stated boundaries and someone else took it upon themselves to go there against your stated desire. As much as some people want to turn it into a homophobic issue it just isn't. If someone strays from the agreed to boundaries it is going to irritate me and I will let them know, regardless of what boundary we are talking about. Bottom line, it is about respecting others. If you can't then it is time for you to move on, quickly.

[isobifolks 35]

Here's the way I see it. I'm a bisexual man. If I'm engaged in sex with a mf couple and he goes down on me, I'm going to be very pleased. 

[TnA83 306]

Yes it is interesting that over 47 percent indicated that they would just go with it. And that's how I voted. Mind you, I wouldn't appreciate having a dick stuck in my face unannounced, but that's why we talk about such things beforehand. 

 

I didn't like the scenario that the OP presented where the protagonist in the story abandoned his wife while she was having sex with another girl on the beach for some M/M adventures. I believe more commonly, it would happen as an outgrowth of a foursome or MFM situation. I've personally heard of a bi husband in an mfm sucking the other male uninvited, and the other male was quite put off by it. Not so much by the male contact but because there was no warning. 

 

Most bisexual males in the LS have better manners than that. If they have that kink, I should hope that they would discuss it beforehand. Most bi guys say that bisexual shenanigans are totally optional and at the discretion of the hosting couple.