Should we quit swinging because of my job...?

[Tia Vampire 167]

To all of you board members with jobs in the professional fields, does your job keep you from swinging as much as you would like to? Or did it cause you to stop all together?

 

I'm asking because in about another month I'll be going out for my externship and would hate for one of the patients to notice me from the board or any of the parties that we attend and cause me to lose my job.

 

Should we quit swinging or maybe not do it here in this small town of ours? All responses will be greatly appreciated and thanks.

[good times 991]

We both have higher profile jobs in very conservative fields and have never had a problem with this. The old saying, "they are here for the same reason you are" has seemed to hold up just fine. All of the people we have run into professionally who know we are swingers have understood discretion enough to keep it to themselves.

[intuition897 2,179]

I think the issue arises when they somehow find out when they aren't looking for themselves. For example, they happen to be nosing through their sister's computer looking for a recipe file, and they stumble upon a link to your profile on the web. Something like that. Or if you're out for dinner and sitting (rather too close) to the wrong partner.

 

We've had some concern about that. We figured that, for us, the risks are manageably small. The odds of it being a huge scandal are slim. However, we do cut the risks by only occasionally meeting people locally, and even then never engage in any rowdy public behaviour. We usually saved all our playing for out-of-town friends. It was just safer that way.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Might be surprised how many in the health field are swingers. Some Dr.s also. More nurses.

[good times 991]

That is so true, it is a toss-up which is the most common occupation for swingers that we have run into, nurses or school teachers.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Cops? Down here alot of casino dealers and other casino employees.

[Tia Vampire 167]

I spoke with a woman at the club last night about being a nurse and being in the life-style. She said the same as many of you here has said. There are alot of swinger that are in the professional fields and keep their job and the life-style seperate. I feel so much better. Thank you all.

[dandawest 15]

Yes, I would have to agree with the other posts for the most part. The singles and couples in the lifestyle know how to keep it to themselves, because if they out you there outing them selves. Also public safety is a big profession with lots of lifestyle members.

 

And to more answer your question I the hubby have been outed at my work by another co-worker. No I didnt quit just had to field lots of question about the lifstyle and my arraingment with the wife. So it wasnt that bad but would have prefered to be not in the public so much.

[BradAndJanet 70]

That is so true, it is a toss-up which is the most common occupation for swingers that we have run into, nurses or school teachers.

J's a school nurse now. Double score?

 

-B

[Cpl2share 147]

Both in Government (as in elected) and we have found that although it does reduce the number of people who will contact us or reply to our ads, we just make sure to never post any pictures on the net. We live in a town of only 2000 people, so everyone knows everyone. When we do echange pictures, we almost always use pictures that could have been gotten from other sources such as the newspaper, advertisements, etc. Thsi way we have deniablity, but can still show people what we look like. So far no problems. Knock on wood.

[BCinIN 52]

Might be surprised how many in the health field are swingers. Some Dr.s also. More nurses.

 

You know, I have noticed this too. A very disproportionate number of health professionals are swingers compared to other fields. Then again, perhaps it only seems that way because the medical industry--which is actually comprised of hundreds of different individual professions--is considered as one entity. Or, perhaps it's that after spending the day thinking about the human body in a strictly professional sense, they want to let loose and think about them in the fun sense!

 

At any rate, we are now going to a club that is over a hundred miles from our house, so it is extremely unlikely that we'll ever run into anyone. If we did happen to see someone we knew, that would be pretty cool--let's face it, vanilla bars are FAR, FAR less fun to hang out in than swing clubs. The atmosphere in a club is so much more relaxed, and everyone is far less uptight, which makes even sitting around talking and having a few drinks a more pleasant experience. The "single male factor" in bars has totally turned us off to them over the years. So seeing someone we knew at a club would be nice!

 

My advice would be to keep quiet around work and such, but beyond that I wouldn't worry too much--the doomsday scenarios (like the "found a link to your SLS profile while snooping around" one) have about as much likelihood of happening as being struck by lightning. Okay, maybe not that small, but you know what I mean. Be cautious, but not paranoid.

[Tybee Swing 286]

And to more answer your question I the hubby have been outed at my work by another co-worker. No I didnt quit just had to field lots of question about the lifstyle and my arraingment with the wife.

 

dandawest, how did the co-worker find out?

[dandawest 15]

the person and there SO are active in the lifestyle........ the problem is that person like to be the center of atention and drma

[WesternSwing 504]

Might be surprised how many in the health field are swingers. Some Dr.s also. More nurses.

LOL... We've noticed what we call "The three M's": Medical, Military, and Mortgage (or Real Estate in general).

 

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing 504]

I think the worry of being outed is always there, but as others say it is relatively minimal and it can be managed. If someone recognizes you from a party they are as much as risk of being outed as you are, so there is a 99.99% chance they wouldn't say anything.

 

Mrs. WS and I have had business contacts show-up at parties that we had no idea were in the lifestyle, and other than the initial "oh shit" look on their face when they see us, from there on out it is smooth sailing and we actually have found more in common and have developed stronger business bonds because of it.

 

Mrs. WS recently went to work for a Fortune 500 company so that we could have affordable health benefits and in the building where she works there are over 4,000 employees that cycle through during a 24 hour period. Given the fact that around 1% of the general population is swingers there are probably 30 - 40 swingers that work there. She's run into three in the past eight months and is simply is a nod and a sly grin as they pass in the hall or in the elevator.

 

Mr. WS

[DBL D 120]

This was a MAJOR concern of Fem D's when we started...Who and how many would know? How will we deal with all of this privacy concern? Well, it's really kind of a very cool secret. No one wants their cover blown, even those it didn't work out with. You'll see.

 

Male D

[TeaseAndPlease 21]

Mrs. WS recently went to work for a Fortune 500 company so that we could have affordable health benefits and in the building where she works there are over 4,000 employees that cycle through during a 24 hour period. Given the fact that around 1% of the general population is swingers there are probably 30 - 40 swingers that work there. She's run into three in the past eight months and is simply is a nod and a sly grin as they pass in the hall or in the elevator.

 

Mr. WS

My concern (Mr) -- as a newbie (haven't had our first experience yet) -- is that if a couple is willing to put face pics and even sometimes nude pics on a public site like SLS, then I don't think they're really concerned about being outed.

 

Anyone else feel this way? Obviously, we'd like to keep our little quest (which will hopefully blossom into "the lifestyle") secret. But we're worried about being outed from someone who we may not "click" with -- especially if these people are bold enough to put public photos of themselves on SLS...

[good times 991]

My concern (Mr) -- as a newbie (haven't had our first experience yet) -- is that if a couple is willing to put face pics and even sometimes nude pics on a public site like SLS, then I don't think they're really concerned about being outed.

 

Anyone else feel this way? Obviously, we'd like to keep our little quest (which will hopefully blossom into "the lifestyle") secret. But we're worried about being outed from someone who we may not "click" with -- especially if these people are bold enough to put public photos of themselves on SLS...

I wouldn't worry about that, everyone we ever met was conscious of the need for discretion in the lifestyle, and if they went around outing anyone that they didn't hook up with, they would be ostracized in no time.

[MrQuack 15]

LOL... We've noticed what we call "The three M's": Medical, Military, and Mortgage (or Real Estate in general).

 

Our club is in Western Washington so I think I'd extend that for us to "The Four M's" - Medical, Military, Mortgage and Microsoft :-)

[Chicup 42]

The, 'they are there for the same reason' doesn't really wash with me.

 

Everyone knows what their doctor looks like, their name, and where they work.

 

I couldn't tell you the names of 5% of my patients without looking at a chart.

 

I'm bad with names to start and its the nature of the business, a good part of why I don't' know everyones name is that I always have a chart to fall back on.

 

Its rather unsettling because sooner or later I will be recognized and won't have a clue who the other person is. This could lead to problems with a malicious person.

[DBL D 120]

...The, 'they are there for the same reason' doesn't really wash with me.

 

Really bad pun, doc. Sorry. I honestly feel that any of us could encounter the same sad soul who would be an obnoxious ass.

 

...Everyone knows what their doctor looks like, their name, and where they work. I couldn't tell you the names of 5% of my patients without looking at a chart...

 

I must be a very noteworthy patient. All my docs know who I am.

 

...I'm bad with names to start and its the nature of the business, a good part of why I don't' know everyones name is that I always have a chart to fall back on.

 

Its rather unsettling because sooner or later I will be recognized and won't have a clue who the other person is. This could lead to problems with a malicious person.

 

You know uh, doc, they have these...uh...memory courses... again!

I really feel for you, although I'm sure you have been happy enough. One of the reasons I decided to be forever poor is because no one would get anything/anywhere from messing with me in such a way.

 

All in good fun sir.

 

Male D

[Playtou 15]

Keep in mind that just because someone sees you at a lifestyle party does not mean you are in the lifestyle anymore than being seen at a gay bar makes you gay. There are a number of reasons why you may have been there. The problem is what you were seen doing while you were at the party, just like if you are a dude and you were seen dancing with another dude at a gay bar. Now you have a problem!

[Hapycmpr 16]

We were at a party last year where we met a couple who were from the same town my dad lives in. Kind of made THEM nervous, but we were ok. Just as we started feeling comfortable with each other and were about to head to a private room, the guy asks me if I know Bob (Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent.)

 

Sure says I...Bob is one of my dad's best friends and owns a business in town. Why? How do you know Bob?

 

He: Oh...I hang out with his son...he's my best friend.

I: Why do you ask if I know Bob?

He: Because he just walked through the door.

 

Wow...small world. I admit...a friend of my dad's at a swing party...someone who used to bounce me on his knee when I was 4...kind of made me feel really wierd.

 

Only problem was, he wasn't with his wife. Is that really Bob? Only one way to find out....I yell across the room..."Hey BOB!" Yep...it's him. And that's not his wife.

 

Looks like I don't have to worry about Bob telling anyone anything!

[magnum 78]

To all of you board members with jobs in the professional fields, Does your job keep you from swinging as much as you would like to? or did it cause you to stop all together?

I'm asking because in about another month i'll be going out for my externship and would hate for one of the patients to notice me from the board or any of the parties that we attend and cause me to lose my job.

Should we quit swinging or maybe not do it here in this small town of ours? All responces will be greatly appreciated and thanks.

 

I think you will be OK, as a few of the replys have said, "they are there for the same reason you are". Good luck...Have fun..

[S&E 15]

Health Care Professionals and Cops, they are naturals together, how many cops and nurses are married. The numbers are staggering. How many cops and nurses have dates or date. Again alot. It is the next logical step with these professionals who see life from all sides, appreciate life and understand just how short it can be.

[Hapycmpr 16]

It is the next logical step with these professionals who see life from all sides, appreciate life and understand just how short it can be.

 

What they said!

[nwmifun 16]

From our experience, just be careful!!! I like the idea given above of using pictures that could have come from other sources to increase deniability. We just may have to adopt that.

 

We are both teachers and ended up getting together with another couple that we had just started working with. LIttle did we know that they were taking it up as a last ditch effort to keep their relationship together. Needless to say, it didn't work for them and the male half was quick to tell everyone he could find about everything that occurred, mainly to trash his now ex-wife, but making us collateral damage in the process. To prove that he was telling the truth, he was quick to point people to our online profiles which we had shown them in the spirit of helping them increase their fun. This caused us to take down all pictures from online and develop a MUCH more cautious attitude about giving out pictures until we have chatted quite a while, which we find alienates many, but at the same time has also helped us to weed out the fakers when we're not handing out our pictures like candy. The g-rated only trade has also become our policy.

 

We have also noticed a very high concentration of teachers, nurses, and police. We'll always get a good laugh out of finding someone in one of the "big three" as we call them.

 

In summation, it's very funny that we were outed (and consequently changed districts within a year of it happening) by another member of one of these professions. It really opened our eyes to the hypocrisy of many members of our profession being involved yet it keeping to such a puritanical ethic when it really comes down to it.

 

So, speaking from experience I'd say our advice is continue to have fun, but BE CAUTIOUS!!

 

lol - and as a little laughing point we moved to a semi-major city where all of this occurred from a town of 550 people where we played for years without a problem or a rumor ever starting.