Bartering sex?

[J&RNNJ 15]

A friend of ours who is in the plumbing business told us an interesting story over the weekend. Seems someone who works for the same company revealed that he has been the single male for a couple's MFM fantasies for about a year now. It started when he was at the house fixing a problem. The couple basically offered up the threesome in return for the work.

 

We were wondering if anyone has done this, is doing this, or what the thoughts are? Strangely enough, he does not know about our interests, and since he is a long time friend of ours he helps out for free, seems he may be missing out...

[spectraschain 21]

Not exactly....but I've an uncle who owned a service station....literally "screwed" himself out of business.

[lovinher 505]

Sounds like the first porn movie I saw when I was a kid.

 

I have been an electrician for almost 30 years now and when I was working out in the field there were a few instances where it could have gone that way. At least that is what my ego was telling me. I had a lady, knowing I was coming, answer the door in a see through nighty and all done up with make up. She was much older than me and not very attractive. Another time a woman walked around the house in VERY see through, low cut pajamas in the middle of the day. Another woman showed up on the job in a red sun dress that was about as see through as you can get, extremely flirtatious and very touchy-feely. I had to keep telling myself "I love my wife, I love my wife, I love my wife". When talking to her I didn't know what to look at. The sky? The ground? A pair of sun glasses would have been nice. I also had a couple ask me several times if I wanted to cool off in the pool after "working so hard". I was working inside with air conditioning!

 

So, it does happen and more than you think.

[HotMoCpl 20]

Back in the 80's I worked as a cable tv installer an as a telephone repairman. All those stories we've heard about the mail man and the milk man....I'd have to guess might be true.

[lurkergirl 47]

Ha, I had to respond to this one! I barter for anything I think I can get away with. My mechanic looks forward to fixing my car these days, he always gets a bay open for me immediatley, and I'm trying my best to find someone willing to do a little "trading" for getting my heat pump installed. There's nothing quite like getting what I want, and then getting what I want again to pay for it!

[Chip_n_Muffy 16]

I have the exact opposite take on it. Not only would I not barter my services for sex, I don't work for playmates or potential playmate even for full pay. I consider it real bad mojo to combine work and play. I can just hear the comment now .... "What do you mean it's gonna cost XXX.xx dollars for a brake job? My wife gave you a blowjob at the club last weekend!" In my opinion, business and fun should be kept totally separate.

 

Sex don't pay the bills.

 

Chip

[Chicup 41]

I have the exact opposite take on it. Not only would I not barter my services for sex, I don't work for playmates or potential playmate even for full pay. I consider it real bad mojo to combine work and play. I can just hear the comment now .... "What do you mean it's gonna cost XXX.xx dollars for a brake job? My wife gave you a blowjob at the club last weekend!" In my opinion, business and fun should be kept totally separate.

 

Sex don't pay the bills.

 

Chip

 

Hehe I've had the same feelings about it.

 

Now we do have some swinging friends who this wouldn't be an issue for, but thats because we have known them long enough that they wouldn't be charged for it in any case.

[ShellyM 0]

I agree with Chicup and Chip_and_Muffy.

Not judging. But if I'm telling the truth it would make me feel cheap, almost like a prostitute. I'm blowing this guy for a brake job is what I would be thinking. That is just my personal opinion, of course what other people do is up to them and fine with me. But I would never pay for any "services" with sex. Getting what I want is good, but not when the price I have to pay for it is my self respect.

JMO,

Shell

[NaughtyDelight 16]

I have the exact opposite take on it. Not only would I not barter my services for sex, I don't work for playmates or potential playmate even for full pay. I consider it real bad mojo to combine work and play. I can just hear the comment now .... "What do you mean it's gonna cost XXX.xx dollars for a brake job? My wife gave you a blowjob at the club last weekend!" In my opinion, business and fun should be kept totally separate.

 

Sex don't pay the bills.

 

Chip

 

 

Our feelings as well

 

ND

[Darkblue 55]

Sorry but if you barter for sex than thats nothing different to being a hooker!! he/she could give you cash for your services and then you could give it back to them to pay the bill!! all you have done is cut out the exchange of cash!!!

 

No offence to anyone this is just my interpretation of what i have read...

 

Steve

[Cpl2share 147]

We agree with the majority of the other responses. Sex don't pay the bills. There have been many times when I could have received sex instead of cash, but there were two things that stopped me: 1) Sex don't pay the bills; 2) I would never cheat on Mrs. Cpl. Of coarse, Mrs. Cpl is not above bartering sex for what she wants. With ME. Many is the time that she has traded sex with me for things that she wants. Now those things have cost me money, but we did both get what we wanted and IMHO, I got the best end of the deal (pun intended.)

[lurkergirl 47]

No offense taken...everyone has a right to feel and think the way they do, and perhaps I didn't quite get the spirit of what I was saying across

 

My mechanic also purchases things from my warehouse, and we never set prices on his services or my stuff, it's more of a fun, mutual agreement. He'll tell me what he's got tied up in parts, or I'll tell him how much I've got tied up in product, we'll cover materials in cash, and then just grin at each other and head off to a private spot to trade out our "profit". Neither one of us are trying to cut the other out of what we have to get back out of what we do, but neither one of us is concerned with making money off the other either, we'd rather just have a few minutes of fun in exchange for our work. Sure, we could just pay each other the going rates for what we do or sell, and then take the cash and go do something fun elsewhere, but why bother, when we'd just as soon do it this way and it's mutually enjoyable for everyone?

 

As for self-respect, if it weren't a situation that I was in control of, I might feel badly about it, but there's very little out there that I could do sexually that would make me feel negatively about myself, as long as it's my decision.

 

And, not to hijack the thread, but simply as an aside (and perhaps I should start a new thread on it), but I've never understood the negative implications behind the concept of prostitution. You can trade your skills as a typist, doctor, pizza boy, gas pump jockey, cabinet maker, bank teller, sales clerk, etc, for cash, but if you trade skills that involve your genitalia for cash, it's different? Other that the law of the land stating that it's wrong, I can't see the difference. I'm quite sure that that statement will draw some fire, but I enjoy a good debate, so have at it. Other than the knee-jerk reaction of "ooh, that's bad, and those must be bad men and women that do it", what reasons do you all have for your negative reactions?

 

I'm not being confrontational or smart-alecky with the question, I'm genuinely interested in hearing your responses. I find other peoples reactions and feelings on the subject fascinating. And, before anyone goes on a tangent about it let's go ahead and get it out of the way, yes, I know that this is a swinger's forum and that prostitution has no place in the swinging lifestyle. I'm not asking how you would feel about hookers in your bedroom, just what your logical reasons are for any negative feelings you have about the concept of prostitution in general.

 

I'm sure that my outlook on it is different from the norm, due to having spent several years as an adult entertainer. I tend not to put a lot of emotional attachment on sexual acts, and having made a living off simulating them while I was in my twenties has given me less of a sense of stigma to the whole concept of "paying to play". Anything I do sexually is simply something I do for fun, just like some people fish, watch tv, or throw frisbees.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thanks to those of you who will respond (even those of you who will flame me for it, as I value your right to your opinions also). And if I'm still unclear in anything I've said, please let me know and I'll see if I cant clarify my responses further.

[ShellyM 0]

I enjoyed reading the last post, especially the part of why prostitution is seen in such a negative light. See, the problem with prostitutes is that its a job. Its their job, like you and I go to the office. So there are no feelings of conscience. Not in regards to how the woman feels about herself mind you...I'm talking about the fact that the vast majority of men who hire prostitutes are married and cheating on their spouses. Not okay in swinging, and not okay in the vanilla world in my opinion. Now. You take a state like Nevada, where it is legal in certain venues from what I understand. The women are mandatorily tested. If you are going to use a prostitute I would say go to one of those facilities. However, on the streets of any given city a prostitute is usually a poor woman, usually on drugs, who is treated like property. I don't know. Everyone has their own opinions. I do not like it when women allow themselves to be used like chattel. Exotic dancers I love, those women work their butts off. They get a man horny, he goes home to his wife and they have a great experience.

Shelly

[rpu3 630]

I don't think there is a problem with prostitution, personally. If that's how one wants to make their money, that's their business just like my job is my business (and I'm well aware I'm essentially selling myself to my employer - services for a paycheck). Legalize it already, just like Nevada, Netherlands, Denmark, and other cities have. Making it a crime just leaves the profession rife with drugs, disease and many women losing most of their money to a pimp.

 

See, the problem with prostitutes is that its a job. Its their job, like you and I go to the office.

 

Some of us who go to the office enjoy what we do at the office. I love my job 80% of the time, cube farm and all. Why would prostitution (and I'm actually talking in the legalized form as seen in Nevada in this instance) be much different? I've seen many an interview of women that work at facilities like The Bunny Ranch say that they love sex, and they love their job, and how nice that they can make money doing what they like.

 

Other people simply go to work, do their job, and go home (and perhaps hate every single minute of it). I'm not sure how the "problem with prostitutes" is that they may actually treat it in the same way - as a job. Both groups are doing it for the paycheck.

 

Some prostitutes may love it, some may hate it, some are indifferent - just like in regular life. Personally, I don't see it as a problem but more a reflection of the general population.

[ShellyM 0]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not personally attacking a prostitute. However. Alot of these women are almost slaves. You have to understand, these are not women like you and I. We are educated, independent women who have a say in our lives. These women usually are desperate. They come from poor families usually (I'm not talking about ladies in places like the Ranch or "escorts". I'm talking about the poor lady on the corner trying to make a buck) and are usually addicted to drugs. Alot of them are basically slaves almost to pimps that beat the hell out of them and treat them like dirt. So when I say its "bad" I'm not talking about the ladies. I mean, and you have to admit, that most men who are with them are cheaters. Plain and simple, they are cheating on their wives. It would be hard to believe for me to think that a crack addicted prostitute cares about every man wearing a condom with her.

 

I say it would be BETTER to legalize it. Then these girls can have not only some protection but also mandatory drug testing. But then you bring up the morality issues.........do we legalize a practice that thrives on cheating husbands?

 

But no, I have nothing at all against prostitutes, my heart goes out to them.

Shell

[JonnyQuest 15]

Personally I don't think my wife and I could have a "drive-by" with a mechanic or deliveryman, mainly because that seems to defeat the very safeguards which make this easier-the meet, greet, get-to-know someone phase, be comfortable, take your time, blah blah blah.

 

However....

 

I would not hold such behavior against others. My wife and I STAY broke. I mean broke. If my air conditioner went out right now I would not be able to afford to fix it, nor could I get a loan, nor could I fit it on a credit card. So I could see where this becomes a viable option. Sometimes life gets incredibly expensive. We each do what we feel we must.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Two books you should read. Whores and Other Feminists and Brothel . When we take women who are adults and make their own choices and are often smart, and educated and come from good homes and make them poor, sad victims, we are buying into the theory that these women couldn't possibly enjoy sex or choose to be sex workers. It's the same stigma that surrounds women in the lifestyle. We're all led into by our husbands, kicking and screaming, right? We're just poor, controlled women who wouldn't dream of swinging if we had other choices ! :rollseyes We know that's simply not true in swinging, nor is it true of prostitution.

 

Now, as for bartering, I don't think so. I want a receipt

 

Pepper

 

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not personally attacking a prostitute. However. Alot of these women are almost slaves. You have to understand, these are not women like you and I. We are educated, independent women who have a say in our lives. These women usually are desperate. They come from poor families usually (I'm not talking about ladies in places like the Ranch or "escorts". I'm talking about the poor lady on the corner trying to make a buck) and are usually addicted to drugs. Alot of them are basically slaves almost to pimps that beat the hell out of them and treat them like dirt. So when I say its "bad" I'm not talking about the ladies. I mean, and you have to admit, that most men who are with them are cheaters. Plain and simple, they are cheating on their wives. It would be hard to believe for me to think that a crack addicted prostitute cares about every man wearing a condom with her.

 

I say it would be BETTER to legalize it. Then these girls can have not only some protection but also mandatory drug testing. But then you bring up the morality issues.........do we legalize a practice that thrives on cheating husbands?

 

But no, I have nothing at all against prostitutes, my heart goes out to them.

Shell

[rpu3 630]

You have to understand, these are not women like you and I. We are educated, independent women who have a say in our lives. These women usually are desperate. They come from poor families usually (I'm not talking about ladies in places like the Ranch or "escorts". I'm talking about the poor lady on the corner trying to make a buck) and are usually addicted to drugs. Alot of them are basically slaves almost to pimps that beat the hell out of them and treat them like dirt.

 

You "have to understand", you are talking about a subset of prostitutes, not all of them. Personally, I don't really "have to understand" anything about this particular subset; I've worked professionally with this particular subset once upon a time and know that it's just that - a subset. Not necessarily the majority. Some DO have a crappy existence rife with abuse and drug use just like some do who don't engage in prostitution.

 

I mean, and you have to admit, that most men who are with them are cheaters. Plain and simple, they are cheating on their wives.

 

Actually, I'm not inclined to admit, much less "have to admit", anything without hard and fast numbers and certainly not based simply on issues of morality or personal viewpoint about cheaters (yet another subset of the group that uses prostitutes).

 

But then you bring up the morality issues.........do we legalize a practice that thrives on cheating husbands?

 

I'm not inclined to follow the morality path as an argument for or against legalization of prostitution. We, as swingers or practitioners of other forms of alternative lifestyles, could have a similar argument used against us. A strict definition of infidelity/cheating could be used against our group; how could we condone a practice that thrives on cheating spouses? I guess I'm saying I personally am not inclined to let moralistic or paternalistic viewpoints override legal or practical viewpoints as going the moral route tends to dictate the rules, norms and laws for all individuals.

 

In the end, I'm with George Carlin on prostitution. "Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?"

[ShellyM 0]

I see your point, but I don't know, we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. I agree, not all prostitutes are desperate crack heads. Some earn damn good money. But I still believe that most of their clientele are married men. Like I said before, its not okay for swinging married men to cheat, and not okay for married men to do it with a prostitute. Thats just my opinion though. Its a hard issue, and I do see your point. And I don't agree with comparing swinging to prostitution, although I know the point you are making in regards to how societal views on swinging are. Swinging is with the consent of both parties. A man seeing a prostitute who is married is cheating. I don't know, we can debate it forever and end up beating a dead horse. I see your point.

Shelly

[wyandly 15]

Thanks Lurkergirl for clearing that up. I too was in the thinking that this is outright prostitution until I read your second post. Clearly you are operating in more of a gray area. Kind of like the way good friends render services for each other with out pay because they know each other is "good for it", and I dont see anything wrong with that.

 

As for you question about prostitution, well, I quess the reason I take issue with it is that to me, its no different than using sex manipulatively: " I will give you want you want if you give me what I want.". The exchange is unidirectional (meaning win - lose) since, as a previous poster noted and you noted in your 1st post, the act of rendering it can be its own reward. And when its not, there is all this clamor that it's degrading and what not.

 

I feel that to try and and put value (in terms of money) on sex actually takes value away from it. (on a side note, if you could put a money value on it, think of all the billions that are being created every day! )

 

I personally think it would be neat if we lived in a world where sex could be used to pay services provided that it was a negotiable form of currency that really did flow both ways. But sadly, we are a long ways away from that now. And as some mentioned earlier, sex dosnt pay the bills.

[djjwp 129]

If it feels good do it for Pete's sake. We only live once and who are we to place labels and take the moral high road? Sorry, If I could barter with a lady who was attractive to me, done deal. As far as mixing business and pleasure, I know my friends have bills to pay too and if the brake job is X amount of $, I pay it, no big deal. It's just money.

[lurkergirl 47]

Well, that certainly generated some interesting responses. This particular issue is one that automatically gets gut reactions from people, and it's always fun to see who says what.

 

Just a FYI, 15 years ago when I was dancing, the statistics showed that the primary consumers of pornography (topless clubs being included in that study) were middle-aged, married men, and in the several years that I worked in the industry, I never saw any reason to doubt the findings. I do understand how this offends some people, but the majority of people never learn how to be open with themselves, much less their spouses, and perhaps on some level, the adult industry exacerbates that. It was my experience, with the few exceptions of couples, that the married men that came into my bar were looking for emotional affirmation rather than sexual gratification. That, to me, speaks more loudly of failings in a marriage than if they came in for a BJ. And, in the nineties, Hollywood had yet to make stripping a "cool" profession, so I'm sure that the general opinion would have been that "we" were as much at fault for the mens problems as they were. It's never ceases to amaze me how fast blame can get slung.

 

Morality never really enters into the equation for me. I find that if I police my own morality, and allow everyone else to police theirs, my life is more satisfying and I cut out the number of malicious gossips and backbiters around me. Morality is a personal issue, much like religon, and I tend to resent it when the government (or the people) attempt to make those decisions for me. Again, as long as the situation is of my choosing and in my realm to control, I'm comfortable with it.

 

Shelly, I understand your feelings and admire you for putting them out there for the rest of us to see. If it sets your mind at ease any, I had the opportunity to interact with prostitutes pretty regularly, and just as many fell into the "happy hooker" category as didn't. I too dislike it intensely when anyones choices are taken away from them, and seeing the ten dollar ho's always made me sad, even when I knew that they were in that position through their own actions. It's heartbreaking to talk to a girl who was homecoming queen 3 years ago, and is now reduced to ten dollar blowjobs to support her crack habit. It's also uplifting to talk to the five hundred dollar girls, who've taken something that they enjoy, and made it into a successfull business.

 

Unfortunately, as long as we have poverty and drugs, we will always have the first kind. I dealt with it by helping them to see their options when I could, and remembering that I was just one piss-poor decision from having walked that road beside them.

 

Thanks again to all

[Alura 2,773]

Prostitution (crack, products that make people sick or injure them, and a lot of other "crimes without victims") should be legalized and taxed. The proceeds should be used to fund an insurance program to provide health care which would include education, research, and treatment to help people get off drugs and stay out of trouble. Our corrections system should be integrated into the program.

 

We've made far too many industries tax-free by making them illegal, which has increased the tax load on the rest of us.

 

For six thousand years of recorded history, people have used prostitution and governments have tried to stop it. Not one has ever been successful.

 

Mr. Alura

[C & J Ohio 15]

Most men who are with them are cheaters. Plain and simple, they are cheating on their wives. ... But then you bring up the morality issues.........do we legalize a practice that thrives on cheating husbands?

Consorting with prostitutes is not the same as having an illicit affair, which implies an emotional commitment. It may be riskier, and morally wrong to some, but it is no more cheating than masturbating to porn.

[ShellyM 0]

Sorry but I absolutely disagree with the last post. It may be just my opinion. So you are saying that if a man screws 2 prostitutes every weekend for say 10 years (just giving an example) he has NEVER cheated on his wife?

I don't think so.

Shelly

[ShellyM 0]

Prostitution (crack, products that make people sick or injure them, and a lot of other "crimes without victims") should be legalized and taxed. The proceeds should be used to fund an insurance program to provide health care which would include education, research, and treatment to help people get off drugs and stay out of trouble. Our corrections system should be integrated into the program.Mr. Alura

 

I definately agree with you. I think that legalization at least would provide mandatory drug testing. This way at least you know if someone does have sex with a prostitute there is less likelihood of stds or far worse. I agree. But not meaning to beat a dead horse on this...but I just cannot step over the hurdle of legalizing something that promotes extramarital affairs. I'm NOT talking about society's view. Yes, swingers are seen by most in the same realm as prostitutes....probably lower because we don't get paid for it! But we all know that what we do is consenting. It is NOT extra marital cheating. Is it in swinging? Yes, of course. But the majority of swinging couples are here to enjoy recreational sex together and have fun.

 

I don't know, I would have to be convinced I suppose. I would just be afraid that the already skyrocketing divorce rate would hit a spike because people would think "well, its legal so it must be okay". Perhaps I'm not giving people enough credit in making good decisions for their own marriage. But I have found that most people will do anything if they think they won't get caught LOL.

 

But yes, I respect all of your opinions and think they are all valid.

Shelly

[rpu3 630]

I think that legalization at least would provide mandatory drug testing. This way at least you know if someone does have sex with a prostitute there is less likelihood of stds or far worse. [/Quote]

 

I'd hope that legalization provided mandatory STD testing before mandatory drug testing. I think you've mentioned mandatory drug testing twice now, but I don't know how drug testing is necessarily going to reduce the spread of STDs. Perhaps you mean a mandatory test panel of the STDs, like we see in Nevada and The Netherlands? After all, testing positive for coke or pot isn't going to mean one has a disease - you don't get STDs from most drugs (injected heroin is a different story if using dirty needles).

 

 

I don't know, I would have to be convinced I suppose. I would just be afraid that the already skyrocketing divorce rate would hit a spike because people would think "well, its legal so it must be okay". [/Quote]

 

It's as simple as looking at the divorce rate for The Netherlands, Denmark, and other countries or cities that have decriminalized or outright legalized prostitution. No spike in divorce has been shown. I don't include Nevada - while I'm not convinced there's a spike to be shown, Nevada is also the state everyone runs to for a quickie divorce which can skew its numbers and potentially makes the numbers unreliable on a scientific validation level.

 

I'm not trying to convince as your opinion is your own as to your position on prostitution. However, if there's a point you bring up that might well be refutable, I'm inclined to point out that the numbers are out there for the looking.

 

Perhaps I'm not giving people enough credit in making good decisions for their own marriage.

 

I am one of those people that think the government, and everyone else for that matter, should just butt out of everyone else's business for the most part. I may not condone cheaters, but it's not my business nor is it the government's business to interfere with how people live their lives, their bodies, or their morality (for lack of a better word). People should the right to make their own choices, good or bad, without ANYONE'S interference.

[ShellyM 0]

rpu,

I see your point. And yes, I mean a gammit of tests. I did not intentionally mention drug testing more than std testing to make someone think that all prostitutes are hooked on crack.

 

However, and you have every right to your opinion. I agree that the govt should mind their business in most cases. But if what you say is true, that people can decide whats best for them, are you saying that cocaine should be legalized? Crack? Heroine? It is the job of the govt to govern when a certain action may be harmful to society. Again, I'm not beating a dead horse. I'm sure you are an expert in what you are saying. But I don't agree, and we will just have to leave it at that. The govt should stay out of most things. And yes, if someone is going to cheat they are going to do it prostitute or woman at the office.

I don't know, I would hate for my husband to cheat on me with a prostitute and say "well its legal, so did I do anything wrong?" I don't know, but I'm not going to beat the subject anymore. You have your opinion and the right to it. And I have mine.

 

Take it to the polls, thats where things like this are decided.

Shelly

[rpu3 630]

But if what you say is true, that people can decide whats best for them, are you saying that cocaine should be legalized? Crack? Heroine?

 

Drug legalization wasn't the topic of the discussion. That topic heads even more towards the political, so I'll refrain making any further position statement on that other than people making their own choice about anything = drug legalization does not compute to me.

 

I don't know, I would hate for my husband to cheat on me with a prostitute and say "well its legal, so did I do anything wrong?"

 

I'd be offended if that were said to me by a partner. Legal prostitution does not equal a free pass any more than being drinking alcohol excuses stupid behavior that may result.

 

I don't know, but I'm not going to beat the subject anymore. You have your opinion and the right to it. And I have mine.

 

The right to one's opinion never been in dispute or up for debate. I'm always glad to participate on a board where one can say whatever they like and expect the same from others. Different points have been brought up, hence further expansion. Personally, I'm always interested in other points of view to either generate more discussion or for personal education.

 

 

Take it to the polls, thats where things like this are decided.

Shelly

 

What is one (me, in this instance) supposed to poll on? What was supposed to be decided since we all have differing opinions? I thought it was simply a polite discussion on an open forum. Being told to take it to a poll leaves me

[Alura 2,773]

Shelly M wrote:

 

...but I just cannot step over the hurdle of legalizing something that promotes extramarital affairs.

 

The problem is, Shelly, that making anything illegal does not make people less likely to do it. As I said previously, gov'ts have tried to control prostitution (and drugs) for 6,000 years with no success. The only thing illegalization accomplishes is to create a tax-free industry while we spend billions of dollars of other tax money in a futile attempt to enforce the law. Prostitutes don't list their profits on their 1040s. Neither do drug dealers.

 

I am very much trying to make this discussion as apolitical as possible.

 

Mr. Alura

[hmr 25]

This has got to be the best post I've ever seen with some very divergent opinions and no flames. Keep it up.

[ShellyM 0]

I see y'alls points. I admit, I'm a fence rider on this one.

On the one hand I absolutely AGREE with you and rpu. Number one, anything to bring the deficit down, go for it. Number two, it would offer protection to the ladies out there who really need to protected. Number three, it would make it more safe in regards to health....this would also enable these ladies to qualify for benefits such as health insurance, etc. etc. and etc.

Yes, I agree. I have nothing at all against prostitutes.

However, on the other hand. And yes, the gov't should stay out of our private lives. But the fact is, and this is just my opinion again, is that people sometimes cannot be trusted to govern themselves. I mean, if society as a whole could govern itself well we would have no need for police. Unfortunately, there are criminals. Sorry, thats off base. But what I'm trying to say is there are instances when the gov't does have to poke it's perverbial nose into society's business. I just don't think that legalizing it would be good for alot of marriages. But then, I don't know for sure. I believe rpu mentioned Norway. I honestly do not know stats, so I very well may be wrong on the issue. It just concerns me.

 

When I mentioned taking things like this to the polls in my last post I meant that when society feels that change is needed ie. the possible legalization of prostitution what they need to do is have a candidate run for office that is sympathetic to their views. I just don't think the right would ever allow such a prospect to happen. Even the moderates would shy away from that subject LOL....even if they believe in it themselves.

 

Anyways, I agree that I love being able to debate the issue without it getting catty or personal in nature.

Shelly

[rpu3 630]

I just don't think that legalizing it would be good for alot of marriages. But then, I don't know for sure.

 

Whether or not a marriage is good is up to the two individuals in a marriage. The laws of the land aren't going to determine the quality or strength of a marriage. If a spouse wants to use legalization of ANYTHING (drugs, prostitution, obnoxious behavior, hating one's mother in law) as an excuse to do things that damage their marriage, then it's a reflection on that particular individual, not because of a law.

 

It would certainly be nice of the concept of personal responsibility made a reappearance in our society - we, as a society, seem very quick to blaming our failings on everything but the individual in question.

 

 

I believe rpu mentioned Norway. I honestly do not know stats, so I very well may be wrong on the issue. It just concerns me.

 

Norway hasn't legalized or decriminalized at this point and I doubt it will anytime soon since Sweden legalized it and then made it illegal later (at least "buying" sex is illegal, I believe).

 

I did mentioned The Netherlands, Denmark and Nevada as to legalization and decriminalization. Germany, Switzerland, and New Zealand have also legalized or decriminalized it. I believe one state in Australia allows prostitution. Turkey, AFAIK, still has state-regulated brothels. The UK, again AFAIK, hasn't made prostitution illegal per se, but has made certain activities illegal; legalization has been considered lately.

 

It's clearly a concept that is debated world-wide. But in the end, the impact of legalized or decriminalized prostitution on the marriage/divorce rate is not statistically significant. Divorce is on the rise in many locations, but there are a lot of other factors at play. It somewhat circles back to the point that the state of one's marriage is determined by those two individuals in that marriage.

[C & J Ohio 15]

So you are saying that if a man screws 2 prostitutes every weekend for say 10 years (just giving an example) he has NEVER cheated on his wife? I don't think so. Shelly

 

If his wife refuses to have sex with him for 10 years, how can you call it cheating? And if it is, who is cheating who?

 

My counter example is no more extreme than yours. The point is, "cheating" depends on the circumstances. When one partner masturbates alone, then is "not in the mood" for their spouse, that is a form of cheating too.

 

If a man sees a prostitute instead of performing his duty with his wife, who wants him, I have to agree with you. If she is out of town or otherwise incapacitated, or refuses, I don't see how she has been cheated when there is no emotional compromise on his part.

[C & J Ohio 15]

I just cannot step over the hurdle of legalizing something that promotes extramarital affairs. ... people would think "well, its legal so it must be okay". Shelly

 

Its already legal to have an extra-marital affair with your neighbor, your best friend, or even your sister. Do cheating husbands say, "Well it's legal, so it must be okay?" Not sure this is your strongest point.

[Chicup 41]

Prostitutes don't list their profits on their 1040s. Neither do drug dealers.

 

Neither do thieves and muggers, so I think this one of those secondary reasons that really should have no baring on the legality of the issue.

 

Personally I wouldn't care if it was legal but I wouldn't want open advertising of it either.

 

But in this topic its a moot point. Legal, illegal, whatever, I'm not going to be having the wife screw the cable guy to save me a few dollars :rollseyes

 

Sex should be freely given and freely received.

[rpu3 630]

But in this topic its a moot point. Legal, illegal, whatever, I'm not going to be having the wife screw the cable guy to save me a few dollars :rollseyes

 

Sex should be freely given and freely received.

 

If the cable guy actually showed up when scheduled, I might be tempted to give him a special kind of thank you, though! Freely given, of course I can joke about it because the cable company not screwing me over a scheduled appointment time would never happen in my lifetime!

[ShellyM 0]

LOL RPU,

Now THERES something we can agree on!

Shelly

[Ozzie+Harriet 84]

Sorry but if you barter for sex than thats nothing different to being a hooker!! he/she could give you cash for your services and then you could give it back to them to pay the bill!! all you have done is cut out the exchange of cash!!!

As if that were a bad thing. Seriously, I think that denigrates sex workers. I'm not really sure how bartering in this case differs from bartering for any other services, especially if those involved are enjoying themselves. I'm also not sure why sex work should be thought of any differently than any other work. Most jobs require "selling yourself" or even your body to an employer for money and generally for less money even though the work itself might be more dangerous, less flexible or be worse in many ways. Also, money and sex are entangled all the time. It's just hidden behind less obvious wording. For example, in the lifestyle, if one party decides to not have sex with another party unless the other party pays for the hotel room, is that sex for money? This topic seems to come up regularly, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone put it in those terms, even though that is what it boils down to.

[Napoleon 230]

I don't barter for sex. I don't pay for sex.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Never had actual customer offer. Have had a couple of house wives, one recently widowed & the other married interested in a 'relationship'. Did not take them up. Have had a cougar swinger ask about me redoing her bathroom. We are in negotiation, tho I am inclined to not combine business with pleasure that way and aim for her to pay cash for the labor. I have done some small repairs in the past as a courtesy for her letting me stay with her while I am on business trips near her house. She's saving me a couple hundred bucks on hotel costs on each of those trips, so it seems fair.

[Numex 2,386]

We barter sex for other sex. Like any other freely entered into transaction, both sides feel that they are getting more value than they are giving.

[Anon321 521]

I can tell you my GF barters with sex all the time.  Sometimes it's as innocent as flashing her tits or ass for a free drink and other times it's giving a blowjob or fucking for car work.  It doesn't bother me at all because deep down I know she wouldn't fuck these guys if she didn't want to.  She's not doing it to save money, however that is certainly a perk.  For example, she fucks her boss at work very regularly.  She definitely gets special treatment sometimes for it - out of work early, free lunches, etc, but that's not why she does it.  She does it because it's exciting, fun, and she enjoys it.

[Guest]

Kind of an indirect thing, I guess.  A couple of the bartenders at our favorite Mexican restaurant will comp us a 2nd and some times even 3rd round.  Certainly we can afford the drinks but its a nice thing.  We have come of the opinion that the free drinks are more likely, the more cleavage or conspicuous nipple I am showing.  So, admittedly, I do think of this as we are getting ready to go.  I will even wear rather transparent blouse braless, but put a little jacket or vest over it that I remove if either Hector or Jesus is working the bar.  I’ll remove it just as the first round is needing replenished.  So, am I bartering?

[EastInWest 1,524]

I seem to recall a thread a while ago where a couple was entertaining swapping the wife out for a car.

 

We've never done anything like that, but I do remember a very vivid sex dream about Mrs. E sucking off a manager for a discount. It's hot - in theory.

[Numex 2,386]

I could do the prostitution thing as role playing, but not in real life. 

 

In college I dated a young woman who was very normal, until we had sex.  She had a rape fantasy fetish.  She sprung it on me as we started and I was taken aback.  We both finished, we went out several more times, but I didn't have sex with her again.  I hope that she found someone who matched her sexually.

 

 

[Anon321 521]

On 4/1/2020 at 8:59 PM, Numex said:

I could do the prostitution thing as role playing, but not in real life. 

 

In college I dated a young woman who was very normal, until we had sex.  She had a rape fantasy fetish.  She sprung it on me as we started and I was taken aback.  We both finished, we went out several more times, but I didn't have sex with her again.  I hope that she found someone who matched her sexually.

 

 

My GF has the same fantasy/ fetish and I think it's pretty common.  I'm not very into it but she gets that fix from other guys.

[Numex 2,386]

13 hours ago, Anon321 said:

...  I'm not very into it but she gets that fix from other guys.

The same can be said for many small fetishes among our group.  That's one of the reasons why we do this. 

[Guest]

Bartering or getting paid for it...it's kind of a fantasy. I did have a young man, a salesman that worked with my company, go from innuendo to telling me he had thought about me when he masturbated! He eventually graduated to being fresh and bold and said he would pay for it. Before travelling on a trip with him, I told him he couldn't afford me. We bartered and I think we agreed on some 'service' menu. $100 and I would sit on his face while he masturbated, $300 a blow job and I swallow, $500 for a fuck. The poor guy took me seriously. 

 

I ended up letting him buy me a pair of shoes in Denver and I fucked him twice on the trip. I would have done it anyway. He deserved it and had tried for a long time to get in my panties.

 

 

 

 

[Numex 2,386]

19 minutes ago, FullSwapCLT said:

We bartered and I think we agreed on some 'service' menu. $100 and I would sit on his face while he masturbated, $300 a blow job and I swallow, $500 for a fuck. The poor guy took me seriously. 

 

I ended up letting him buy me a pair of shoes in Denver and I fucked him twice on the trip.

How much were the shoes?  ?

 

My wife's the kind who would pay $100 to the right man or woman, especially the right woman, to sit on his/her face.  (The fuck would end up being free.)