Why do swingers meets cost so much for single males?

[cracker0jack 18]

I have recently attended swingers meets (as a single male) where only a few selective single males were invited. We were asked to pay 70 bucks to enter when a couple was $30 and single female $10. Oh, did I mention that we had to wear glowing armbands? And could only approach a female with a glowing armband, unless otherwise invited to join? What got me was the part where four single females came in, and not one had an armband. So tell me... what the hell did I pay 70 bucks for?

 

To me its a rip off. I think that if females come without a male then they should be fair game for everyone, just as the men should. No is No... and if there is only a selected single males then where would there be a problem?

 

The bottom line is these meets don't want single males to be involved for some reason. Hell, I've gotten laid a lot cheaper than what I paid to get into the meet, and that included dinner, driving, and the whole nine yards lol. Granted, it is not all about if you get laid or not, it is about meeting people and having fun...

 

If they pay that much to get in, should single males not be treated equal as everyone else? Should they not have the right to have fun as everyone else?

 

But really why does it cost so much for a single male to attend?

 

Granted I just moved up the Maryville, TN area recently, but I wouldn't waste my money to attend another one... with or without a date...

 

I think that next time... I'll just throw a house party and everyone can have fun!!!

[sexyshelby 19]

It is just a matter of simple economics...supply and demand.

[Spoomonkey 421]

what the hell did I pay 70 bucks for??

 

Good question. Why did you?

 

I think that if females come without a male than they should be fair game for everyone...

 

Why should they be "fair game"? You know what the wristbands were for? They were a simple way of showing interest. Everyone who walks through the doors at the club has the option to put that glowing wristband on - to show you that they are interested. If they didn't put it on, then you know it is a waste of your time to talk to them.

 

Would you prefer to spend the night talking to couple after couple, single woman after single woman, only to find that they aren't interested in single men?

 

At least with the wristband you know who to talk to. Think of it as a tracking device...

 

should they not be treated equal as everyone else?

 

No - they should be treated like a single male. Trust me - the club doesn't really control how you will be treated. The couples in the club do.

 

Should they not have the right to have fun as everyone else??

 

You do have that right - just like everyone else. The problem is, the type of fun that most couples (and single females that we have known who are into swinging) doesn't always involve single men. So - their right to fun excludes you because you do not fit the definition.

 

There are couples and single females who are looking for you - you are exactly the type of fun they are looking for. And you know what - that wristband helps them find you.

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

Hello,

 

Most of the time those rules are imposed to prevent a party or club from becoming 100 single males and 2 couples. When that happens the male half of the couple decides to find a different party with more women, then what you have left is a sausage party. )

 

I'm not sure how true those worries are though. Laurie and I attend a house party group that charges $20 per couple and $15 per single of either sex. Every month a dozen or so single males sign up and every month none of them actually attend.

 

Laurie enjoys the occasional MMF threesome. We've contacted several single males. They all talked a really good game but when it came to actually showing up they couldn't be found.

 

The other common issue I've heard about is the ones that aren't properly housebroken and socialized. Most of our ads have single males blocked because the ones that contact us are usually very rude.

 

Most people would have nothing against a nice polite dependable single male. Good luck finding one though.

[lovinher 505]

Dude, maybe if you want more bang for your buck a little attitude adjustment might pay off. You seem to have this attitude of entitlement because you paid to get in the door and just maybe that spills over into other aspects of your search to get laid. The disparities in attitudes towards single females and single males isn't hard to figure out. Is it fair to you? No, but it is what it is and complaining about it will not change a thing except get you nowhere.

 

So $70.00 bucks is too expensive to get laid? A good dinner and a couple of drinks for two can cost that much without the scenery that you get at a club. Even then there is no guarantee you will get any.

 

You may think I'm slamming you but the is reality I'm trying to help you.

 

[Chicup 41]

Hell, I've gotten laid a lot cheaper than what I paid to get into the meet, and that included dinner, driving, and the whole nine yards lol. Granted, it is not all about if you get laid or not, it is about meeting people and having fun...

 

Hehe I'm sure it is not old to you, but your question comes up every few months. A single man will post about the unfair plight of the single male at a swinger event and how their ignoble treatment is cause for righteous indignation.

 

If you want 100% equal rights the way is quite simple. Date for a bit, find the love of your life, marry her, and get into swinging. There you are now a full fledged swinger who gets the secret decoder ring and handshake! Until then you are a guy who wants to get laid, apparently cheaply. From a sex perspective you only have yourself to offer and as such it better be pretty damn good. Not every swinger is interested in a MFM threesome and of those who are, not every one is interested in a MFM with a single male. On the other hand there are 1000's of horny guys who think they can get easy swinger pussy. These men are basically ignored or in your case, used by a club owner to make easy money.

 

So you are right in feeling used. You were used. You were used as a source of cash for the party planners, and if they had any couples coming who were into single males you were used by the planners to fill that niche.

 

I'm not sure what percent of couples are interested in single males, and by interested I don't mean did it once, but are actively looking for single males like they are looking for couples, but even that subset of swingers laments how few single males 'get it' and how hard they are to find. If you want to be one of these few single males, you will need to have a completely different mindset. Having fun and getting laid is great but you need to be more aware of the social dynamic you are entering.

[mfmswing 17]

One way to look at it is like this. Many couples have profiles on sites like SLS, they put in their profile that they are willing to meet with single men and when you contact them they say they are not. The truth is that a good portion of couples in the lifestyle don’t want to meet with single men, but since they can’t find a single woman willing to meet with them, they put single men in their profile.

 

We have been in the lifestyle for almost five years and have found that there are a lot of fakes on sites like SLS. Our experiences with clubs have been about 50/50 good to bad. Our problem with the clubs is that it seems that people there are pushy and only care about their own pleasure. Also, we have run into many people who only want to play with the female half of the couple and expect the male to just watch or find something else to do while they play. Most of the swinging friends we have we met in other ways, such as bars and through other swinging friends. So, I would have to say that some clubs charge such high prices for single men to make money by subsidizing the low rates charged for single female’s.

[Tom & Bonnie 99]

These men are basically ignored or in your case, used by a club owner to make easy money.

 

So you are right in feeling used. You were used. You were used as a source of cash for the party planners, and if they had any couples coming who were into single males you were used by the planners to fill that niche.

 

 

As a club owner I would take exception to that generalization....

 

Easy money? Not on your life!

 

Single males are (for the most part) a source of aggravation to club owners. We are constantly getting inundated by them to be allowed to join our club and when they do attend we usually have to have someone follow them around to keep them from acting like bulls in a china shop.

 

Just like the original poster they assume that there admission charge is a ticket for sex.

 

Most couples do not like them there, but on occasion want to bring one in for their own amusement.

 

The money we charge is a deterrent to prevent us from being overrun with single males, nothing more...

[Chicup 41]

As a club owner I would take exception to that generalization....

 

Easy money? Not on your life!

 

Single males are (for the most part) a source of aggravation to club owners. We are constantly getting inundated by them to be allowed to join our club and when they do attend we usually have to have someone follow them around to keep them from acting like bulls in a china shop.

 

Just like the original poster they assume that there admission charge is a ticket for sex.

 

Most couples do not like them there, but on occasion want to bring one in for their own amusement.

 

The money we charge is a deterrent to prevent us from being overrun with single males, nothing more...

 

I stand corrected and now that you put it that way I see your point. Though I'm sure there have been more then a few sausage-fest 'swinger' parties were they were used as nothing but a source of income.

[VegasLee 1,486]

I totally understand what the OP is feeling but it is all about attitude and the wrong attitude will get you nothing in life and in this Lifestyle.

 

Glad Tom showed up as a club owner. He has been there and knows what he is talking about but depending on what club you go to things can be different.

 

For 25 years we have allowed single men. They are charge a bit more but not a huge amount. MANY of the couples that come to the RR come there because we have single men. It depends on the type of club you go to. Some allow single men then others welcome them. We happen to be one that welcomes them. Good ones with the right attitude and common sense are more welcome then most of the others. Everyone, couples and singles alike, are treated equal and welcome when it comes to us. That does not mean we are a better club, we are different. We fill the niche that some clubs don't want to fill or have to deal with.

 

Tom was right about why single men are charged more. We do that to keep from being nothing but single men. It also deters some of the lower hanging fruit that think they are deserving just because they show up. Those that think that most of us that run clubs use single men just as a money machine have never ran a club and really don't know what it is about.

 

My suggestion to the OP is go to a different party. There are parties out there that WANT the single men and with the right attitude you will have a great time.

 

When I was a little kid, I got into movies cheap, then they charged me more as an Adult, now that I have my AARP card I get those wonderful discounts again. Sometimes life costs you more for a reason. Use it to your advantage.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

Because in reality most (NOT ALL) couples don't want to deal with single men at the parties/clubs. Most single men are clingy, intrusive and annoying.

 

If you do happen to decide you are going to play with a single man afterward they tend to hang on the woman for the duration of the evening. God forbid you have played with a single man once before and he is at the club again 99% of the time he will "ASSUME" consent for a second round because he has marked his territory previously. They insert themselves into conversations where they are uninvited. My favorite assumption by most single men is that THEY are going to do for you what no other man (especially you husband/SO) can or has ever done for you………PLEASE!!!!

 

If you go to get into the hot tub with your spouse or SO and another couple - they FLOCK to the hot tub to LURK in hopes that someone will play with them. They generally IMHO don't have any manners.

 

A straight single male brings little to the table for a couple unless the couple tends to play alone or the wife just can not seem to have enough men........ So for most of us at the club our preference is to not have to deal with the intrusive single male and therefore the clubs charge more as a way to only have the serious men there and to keep from being over run with them. Because again and this is just my opinion but there is no such thing as a single man in the lifestyle, only a single man willing to accept the conditions of the lifestyle to get laid.

 

There is SOOO much more I could say on this subject but it’s been said 1000 times over by others so no sense in :beatdeadh.

 

With all this said though like everything else in life EVERYTHING has it’s place, and for the single male who is respectful, non-intrusive, friendly, good personality and knows that he’s not god’s gift to women, then you too my friend will find you place.

 

I have attached the rules for single men………..just for those who have forgotten the proper etiquette for single men in the lifestyle.

 

Swinging Information for Single Men

 

To be popular with couples is to understand what they want. This is very important and will mean the difference between a long night and a night of wild fun. Swinging couples will know if you have the right idea straight away and if it's not right will not hang about. So what is it?

 

What DO they want?

 

Couples that play with single guys in swingers clubs are looking for a guy to add to their pleasure. They will want to chase a guy that they like and bring him in to their love making. The guy will be a tool for their swinging and it will be their fantasy that gets fulfilled. He will be there to fuck the lady as she wants it and for her guy to see her being fucked by him. A great guy is one who understands this and acts accordingly. They want swinger’s not cheap shags.

What DON'T they don't want

 

Number 1 rule is DO NOT GET DRUNK!! So many guys come to swinging clubs, get too drunk, think they are are being the perfect male swinger when in fact they are slurring words, talking rubbish, and swaying all over the place. Heavy drinking will ruin all your chances and possibly have you removed from the club. No one likes drunken people slurring their words and talking nonsense at the best of times let alone wondering if you can get it up at all!!!! So you are sober, what else do they not want? They do not want a guy who sees the lady as just a fuck for himself i.e. for him to fuck as a piece of meat and walk off. They do not want to be seen as shag pieces and another notch on the post for the guy. This is obvious to the couple from the start even if you don't think it is. Although the end result may be the same the approach is very important. Remember this and act this way and you are half way there.

 

The Approach

 

Swinging couples like to be in the driving seat but this doesn't mean the guy can't make the first move. The biggest mistake is to talk to a couple and mention the swinging in the first few minutes. Opening lines such as 'Are you into single guys?' or 'Do you play in the club?' indicate a wrong attitude and even desperation. Say hello and some small talk about the club or something that is going on. Do not hassle them or corner them. The best trick is to chat for a bit and then leave them to discuss it. They will want to know if their partners are ok with it, like you and fancy some fun.

The Second Encounter

 

Again there are generally no problems if this is initiated by the guy as long as it is in passing, light-hearted, and not about swinging with them. Be prepared to leave them to it again. Although you are leaving them you are earning brownie points for being a decent guy. Don't push your luck though. If the couple are interested they WILL be back. The chase is all part of the fun for couples as they are in control. If they have approached you it generally means they are interested and the conversation will quickly move to what they are after. Remember they will tell you, don't try and push it.

The Likes/Dislikes Chat

 

If you have got down to some horny chat about them and what they do make sure you ask about their likes and dislikes. They will appreciate it and the whole experience will be more fun. Nothing can ruin a swinging moment faster than trying anal on her when she hates it and can (and does in rare cases) end up in violence. Remember you are fulfilling their fantasy. Some couples like lots of kissing and touching during the session, some see this as too affectionate and just want to fuck. Finding this out can make the difference between a one off that was ok and a regular meet where they ring you out of the blue when they fancy it. What could be better than being chased by a couple and having threesome fun out of the blue?

 

The Invite

 

At this point you will probably be asked to a room. Whatever you do please make sure you take some condoms with you for two reasons 1) No couples swing without condoms in this day and age. You will be wasting your time and offending the couple to ask not to use one 2) you are being invited into someone else's swinging sex life. It's very rude to expect them to provide the condoms! They may offer theirs but always make sure you have some. To turn round mid-action and say I don't have any could end your chances of anything else there and then.

The Action

 

At last we are there!! Remember to bear in mind what she wants. DO NOT try and act your fantasies out by trying anal on her or cumming on her face/in mouth without her approval. It is nice to ask if that is alright or are you ok from time to time. Give them both what they want and they will be back for more! Always be respectful to what they want and you will have a great talk.

 

Afterwards

 

This can vary between couples; some will be ok to chat afterwards, some may want sometime to themselves to chat about what happened, how good/bad it was etc. Give them the offer of some space. Don't crowd them or walk round like a peacock just because you have just had a shag. This will put them off and you will never hear from them again. If you’re good they will take your number and call you whenever they feel like it. If you swap numbers do not do what 90% of men do in this scenario and constantly text/phone them. Remember the beginning? They are in charge. As mentioned before, if they want you, they WILL get in touch.

 

Different Couples = Different Approaches

 

Of course this isn't the same for all swinging couples. Some may just walk straight up to you and ask you into a room, it does happen a lot. They will have been watching you and your attitude so it is still wise not to get drunk, harass other couples etc. Others will be shyer and take longer to get to know. If you follow these guidelines you can't go to far wrong.

Single Men.pdf

[arvcpl 16]

First off I need to say that we have played with legitimate single men before and I am not a single male basher. However, as the male half of a couple I do need to say that it is attitudes like this that is that one of the reasons single males are looked down on and do have a hard time in the lifestyle. If you are going to bitch about paying $70 and not getting any sex to show for it, stay the hell out of swingers clubs and take your money to a whore house!!

 

It sounds to me like that is what you are looking for in the first place, whores, only you are too cheap to shell out the going price for some crack addicted street walker. You said you have gotten laid cheaper taking some gal out for dinner; fine, what is wrong with that? Maybe if you start taking women out on some legitimate dates and start to treat them with some respect maybe you can get your own chick and don't have to try and score with other people's wives.

 

Swinging wives and single fems in the lifestyle are not whores or sluts or women with out of control sex drives and their partners are not limp-dicked spineless pussies that need your hard dick to satisfy their women. If you think your 70 bucks entitles you to fuck somebody else's wife and mother of their children just because you are feeling a bit horny that night and you don't have it together enough to get your own chick, you are in the wrong place.

 

The only reason loners with boners are let into swing clubs at all is there are a very few single guys who actually get it and who realize that it is a privilege for them to be there and who treat both halves of couples with dignity and respect. They realize that the vast majority of couples and single fems are not going to be interested in them and they leave them alone.

 

A legitimate single male realizes it is a privilege to be invited into the bedroom of a couple and to be allowed to help them fulfill THEIR fantasy and to be a part of THEIR sexual experience and not to just get their own rocks off on some slut that happens to be there after they shelled out 70 bucks.

 

A legitimate single male would have no problem shelling out a higher entrance fee if he realized it would keep some of the trolls that give all single males a bad name out.

 

A legitimate single male would wear a glowing armband with pride to show the couples that might be interested in him that he was available to be part of their experience.

 

A legitimate single male would appreciate the club that allowed couples and single fems to also wear an arm band that would indicate to him where he may possibly be welcomed and not waste his time on those that aren't interested and run the risk of pissing someone off that was not open to his approach.

 

A legitimate single male would know walking into the place that way more often than not he will not actually hook up that night but would still appreciate that he was allowed in in the first place and got the chance to meet some new people.

 

A legitimate single male would realize that if he is going to play at all it is going to be strictly on the terms of the couple or single fem and will not be about him and he is ok with that.

 

If you want to get a cheap piece of ass and do it completely on your terms your options are to find some old has-been lonely drunk gal in the lounge at the Holiday Inn that is desperate for any form of male attention or find some street walker that is jonesing for her next crack hit and will be glad to take your $70.

[Chicup 41]

arvcpl, I sense you are are holding back, tell us how you really feel

[EternallySingle 32]

Glowing Armbands? I wish that the clubs I attended issued glowing armbands to single men and the people interested in meeting them. Then I wouldn't have stayed there three hours trying to chat to people and would have went to the hotel bar earlier.

 

For the OP and any other single men, get real. In the regular world, how hard do you have to work to find a single woman interested in TALKING to you if you have no one running interference for you and telling her before hand that you have something in common? How much time does it take to convince a woman that gives you that (often phony) drunken 'Lets go NOW' look at the bar before you have that amazing one night stand? (I say often phony because most women learn that men are suspicious of sober women that want to just get laid and walk away). How hard is if for you, as a single man, to become friends with the wife of one of your married friends if you have only known him for a few weeks at work or the gym?

 

And you think paying a few extra dollars entitles you to better treatment at a club where sex is the primary reason for going there?

 

I don't go to clubs anymore because:

1. I don't have the time to drive three hours to MAYBE meet someone that MIGHT CONSIDER talking to me, let alone someone that wants to actually have sex or even just let me watch
   
2. For every couple I approach at a swing club or party I can approach five or six women at a bar or regular party and at least say a couple of things before they turn their backs on me
   
3. Its much easier to learn who are swingers at the coffee shop by listening for lines like "doing something different again this weekend" or "entertaining some friends we met online".
   
4. Much easier to meet single women by saying something funny to her in the grocery store then seeing if she says something funny back when you see her in the next aisle. then you ask if she wants YOUR phone number so she can nag you when she gets bored tomorrow.
   
5. I'd rather spend $100 dollars taking a woman out and getting shot down than spending $50 getting into a club and not even being around women that are looking primarily for other women and couples
   

 

What Tom and Bonnie, Chicup, and Vegas Lee are all true. We get used, excluded, and ignored because we are SINGLE MEN! Accept that you are on the outside and either spend more time looking for single women outside of swinging or change your attitude and expectations and look for couples that are looking for you. No other choices. I'm sorry, but thats how it is.

 

I've said it many times before. Before the internet, it was much easier to swing as a single man because there weren't that many single men that knew swinging existed outside of Penthouse Forum letters, and most thought those stories were made up. With the internet, many single men thought they had uncovered a whole new group of women that didn't require anything from men other than a hard penis. It doesn't work that way. And until that is understood, the ones who are really suffering are the couples and single women actually looking for quality single men to join them in the lifestyle.

 

Not because those men don't exist, but because it is easier to ignore all single men than to take a chance that the one they want to meet is really worth the time.

 

(how do you do that beating a dead horse thing?)

[curiousagain 326]

I have ceased to be amazed at some people's "entitlement" attitude about a lot of different things.

 

What I am still amazed at is someone thinking $70 is a lot for a night out and a little fun. Where do they usually go, McDonald's?

 

How much do you pay to get in a concert? How often do you get laid at a concert? OK, OK, maybe after the concert, but still...

 

I'm paying nearly $50 to fill up my jeep, $5 for a beer and a tip to the server. I paid $18.50 for a small pizza the other night at a bar. (I shared and only had two pieces myself for those of you in the exercise motivation threads with me).

 

Can you and a fuck buddy hook up for next to nothing, just the gas for one of you to drive over? Sure, but a night out for $70 and you're bitching? Give me a break. Maybe I need to go to different places or change my hometown here or something.

 

To go back to the OP a little, hey a couple payed to get in and you're there, what if they think you ought to have a go in some area you don't want to go? Think since you're there they're entitled and you're fair game? Maybe they're into tying people up and having sex in front of them just to tease them. Want to broaden your horizons a little? You're there, they payed to get in, everyone's fair game, right?

[Jamie&Kieth 36]

Precisely why we do not go to swinger clubs.

 

We have been to a few, just to hang out & observe and there always seems to be more men than women.

 

Our feelings is that if we are going to have sex with another couple we want to know them and have them as friends both socially & sexually.

[cracker0jack 18]

Alright, maybe I should have rephrased some things, so let me do that now...

 

First, I was trying to make a simple point. It seems like these socials are against single males, well that's fine, but there is also another side to it... what about the single females? I'll get to that in a second...

 

All I was saying was why do they push for the single females, and yet not want any single males, if it is a place where swingers can get together and meet, and that's what socials are about, meeting new people that have a common interest.

 

I am sure that they are a lot of women out there that would appreciate a few more single men and a lot less single females. I am sure to some that it is nice to see females all over each other, but at the same time, I am pretty sure that they would like to see a few male and females getting it on too (and I am really sure that some females, seeing females all over each other, look at it like we do with two male getting it on...).

 

Another observation I made was you saw females getting it on, but yet not one word was said to them. At the same time this other couple (male female) were getting it on and they were asked to take it to the room.

 

All I am trying to say is... why the double standards?

 

You can ask just about any straight female (single or couple) that has been to a social - how many times have you been groped, by a bi female, without them asking? This same thread is going on on Swingular, and I borrowed this quote from a female that responded: "Single females are in my opinion more pushy, more aggressive, and the bi ones have groped me more often and more aggressively then men (not that I have not been groped by men). It is just Bi-fems don't even bother to find out if I'm gay or not, just grope me anyway. Personally I find it more offensive because I am not gay."

 

I am sorry if I didn't properly put it in to context, and yes, I could have used a better example, I was just making a statement. And like I said, that was my first as a single male... I never said that I hadn't attended one before, just not as a single. So I know all about respect. Maybe it was because I was a new face up here. By the way, I did end up meeting some cool couples that night.

[good times 991]

It is really quite simple, their are only double standards if you consider men and women the same, personally, I don't. Beyond that it is just simple supply and demand, very few single females compared to how many couples desire them, way more single males than are desired by couples. It isn't anything about double standards, it is just about preferences and supply and demand.

 

As far as the pushy bi-fems go, yep, it is a problem sometimes and we have seen it, but that is a totally different discussion, it doesn't have anything to do with single males.

[Spoomonkey 421]

why do they push for the single females? and but yet not want any single males

 

At my club we have one regular single female. Nice girl, fun to talk to, but about as attractive as a Buick on blocks...

 

We have a dozen regular single men, plus a constant stream of guys trying the scene (they don't get their money's worth, so they move on).

 

On the ridiculously rare occasion that an attractive single woman shows up at the club, you can bet the club is going to buzz about her.

 

Even at the higher price, our club has all the single men it needs - and even at the much lower door charge for single women (free, for instance) we can't get them in with a cattle prod. If you ask me, that is the one reason why single women are sought over single males.

 

And it makes perfect sense.

 

After all - nearly every woman on the planet could get laid simply by walking into a bar and asking for it - and she wouldn't even have to buy her own drinks. In most cases, it would be cheaper for a single woman to go to a regular bar than a swing club (most do charge a small door fee). So - why any of them come to a swing club is beyond me, but should be encouraged and considered a good thing.

 

Single men? You have to raise the price - and in many cases limit the number you let in - just to keep from being overrun.

 

People like to toss around "double standard". But it is an absolutely useless phrase in this instance. It may make for good rhetoric, but it begs us to suspend logic and common sense...

[VegasLee 1,486]

and like I said that was my first as a single male.... I never said that I hadn't attended one before, just not as a single.

 

Somewhere in all your postings I seemed to have missed the part where you are not married anymore and became single.

[cracker0jack 18]

Married anymore? NOPE... AND FOR THE RECORD, NO, I HAVE NEVER CHEATED. But I do attend socials with a very close female friend of mine, and yes, we play together... and with other couples. Some last minute events came up unannounced, therefore I decided to go ahead and attend that evening by myself.

 

It wasn't until then that I realized the big difference in the way things were operated. I had never attended one being on the single side. So therefore that was the reason for my questions...

 

One question which has not been answered though. If only a few selected males are invited to attend, then why would there be a problem with the social being overrun with single males? Or is this just a term that is used to comfort couples and single females to get them in? Or is it a misleading statement? In the advertisement it says "a few selected males" so before someone jumps to conclusions, I am not saying all clubs and socials are this way.

 

But my basic question was why does it cost so much for the single males? And I think that it has been answered...

[good times 991]

Sad to say, some of the clubs we have been to that say, "select single males" mean the ones that had the entry fee. I imagine not all clubs are this way, but the ones we have been to were, for the most part.

 

One local club used to have single male night, couples were free and "select single males" were $10.00. It wasn't unusual for them to have 10-15 single males per couple. We would never go on that night unless we had it set up in advance to meet someone there.

[tribbles 490]

Here many clubs limit the number of single guys to prevent that out of balance ratio. And they charge couples less to encourage us to pick their party over the couples only parties that cost us more.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

All I was saying was why do they push for the single females, and yet not want any single males, if it is a place where swingers can get together and meet, and that's what socials are about, meeting new people that have a common interest.

 

I am sure that they are a lot of women out there that would appreciate a few more single men and a lot less single females. I am sure to some that it is nice to see females all over each other, but at the same time, I am pretty sure that they would like to see a few male and females getting it on too (and I am really sure that some females, seeing females all over each other, look at it like we do with two male getting it on...).

 

Another observation I made was you saw females getting it on, but yet not one word was said to them. At the same time this other couple (male female) were getting it on and they were asked to take it to the room.

 

All I am trying to say is... why the double standards?

 

You can ask just about any straight female (single or couple) that has been to a social - how many times have you been groped, by a bi female, without them asking? This same thread is going on on Swingular, and I borrowed this quote from a female that responded: "Single females are in my opinion more pushy, more aggressive, and the bi ones have groped me more often and more aggressively then men (not that I have not been groped by men). It is just Bi-fems don't even bother to find out if I'm gay or not, just grope me anyway. Personally I find it more offensive because I am not gay."

 

Having been a single female in the lifestyle and now part of a couple/triad I would like to address this question. Why are single females ok more so over the single male for a couple of reasons?

 

1. Single female “generally” (not always) are not as obnoxious in their approach.

2. And secondly like Mr. Goodtimes and others have pointed out they are rarer and more sought after by the masses.

 

Here is where the big difference is in the lifestyle a single straight male and a single straight female are the least sought after. They offer little to nothing for the average lifestyle couple but for those who play separate they are needed and wanted, with that being said those couples who play separate are not in the majority in the lifestyle.

 

The single bi-male and the single bi-female have more to offer and are more sought after because they fulfill a broader range of needs being able to please and play with both partners.

 

Are there single bi-females who don’t know their manners within the lifestyle, absofuckinglutely...and they by far are as obnoxious as single men, possibly more so, because as bi-women and straight women go there isn’t a tell all sign to know if a woman is bi unless you see her actively engaged with another woman. So it’s really being brazen to assume all women at a club are bi but they do it. And I’ve seen many pay the price with the well deserved bop on the head by those women who aren’t bi.

 

I am bi and have had my share of unsolicited groping by other bi-women and it pisses me off just as much as men who assume consent to grope just because we are all in the lifestyle. It seems that many have forgotten to be courteous in the lifestyle and to ASK permission before just groping others.

 

I can honestly say in my years within the lifestyle I have NEVER made a straight woman uncomfortable by my actions. But I’ve seen other bi-women do just that but I’ve seen by far more single males do it too.

 

Moral of the story is manners, manners, manners and most of all RESPECT for your play partners, everyone are people with feeling and emotions and while we are in the lifestyle for fun and to have sex with others, you have to take them into consideration – it’s not just about getting mine.

[cracker0jack 18]

First of all, all i did was to make them aware of what was going on, since they seemed to have such a big interest in the topic, and have yet to make a post after I clarified the situation. Isn't that was a PM is a PRIVATE MESSAGE. It is not like I bashed them for something, but it was her who said that I was "Cheating" so do I not have a right to clarify this???

 

Second.... Would someone show me where the in the lifestyle that it says you have to be husband and wife??? I guess two females aren't welcome either. or a single female, and maybe she is bi? Let me make sure that I understand this right. I truly thought that it was about people who had a common interest, and friendship, but hell I'm an OP so what do I know...

 

"In my opinion, as well as Mrs. Alura's, there is no such thing as a "legitmate" single male in swinging. If you don't have a wife, whom you love dearly, to bring to the party, you are not going to get the opportunity to play with my wife, who means the world to me. (She will make sure of that.) "Close female friends" do not qualify.

 

So what you are saying ONLY husband and wife????? Dude, I think that you just stepped on the toes of a lot of people here....

 

And about playing with you wife... I do have certain standards, and neither one of you qualify...

[Spoomonkey 421]

Yes, we are saying ONLY husband and wife. For us. As we pointed out, everybody is free to set their own rules. Including ourselves. Including you. Including clubs. Including turnpikes.

 

I think this is a fair statement and would say that no one really has any reason to get their nose out of joint about it - since Alura is allowing for the fact that everyone makes their own rules in the lifestyle. It would be just as legitimate for someone to say that swinging involves one husband, his wife and a bowl of Jello Whip...

 

I don't see it as stepping on toes - I see it as clarifying his opinion on the matter.

[twoforone100 45]

The clubs in VA won't let single guys in at all. Perhaps you are lucky that they let you in. Most house parties don't have single guys. Some do but they are usually well known to all. Perhaps you should start you own swing club. Let in lots of single guys and see how many couples want to come out. Perhaps there is a great need for this.

[midnightplayer 135]

It is not uncommon for singles to pay more for everything compared to couples. Take cruises for example. You as a single pay more for cabins. Single males have, let's say a reputation, that proceeds them. We, as singles, pay a big price for the rudeness of other men before us. Some of us can be the best thing since sliced bread, but we need to prove that to the unknowing couples. If we need to pay the extra amount to enter a meet and greet so be it. If you can't pay, maybe you shouldn't play. Nobody wants to be stupid with their money, but no one wants to be around someone who is cheap.

 

If we are polite, considerate, pay attention to the males of the couple instead of looking at his wife as if she was naked, they, couples, might be polite back and hark, might even invite the single for a second "interview" and might just lead to some fun for all. Single males need to get realistic and realize; "it is what it is" and not try to re-invent the wheel. Just a thought.

[2chase3 25]

Crackojack,

 

I'm just curious and by no means questioning your reasoning, but if you are a single male why would you be interested in a couples swing party to begin with?

 

Single men interested in mingling with other couples, which is a whole other topic in itself.

 

To pay 70 bucks to get into a club when I was single would have been laughable. "And your gonna tag me like some orphaned baby seal?? Nu UH!!"

 

I believe the reasoning is guys think since swingers are sexually open, I am bound to get laid...lol, this is so far from the truth. Sure there are females sexually open in swinging but keep in mind that woman is bound to a man, which might not see your intentions as equally erotic.

 

Being single was a sexual adventure in its own rite for me personally. Has it changed that dramatically over the last 7 years? I couldn't imagine it has.

 

Hell, start your own singles swing parties. Remember the fried chicken and porno club? If you are even somewhat social in your area, local pubs, clubs etc. you would be surprised how many women you could entice to participate once word got out your house parties were sexually themed... curiosity killed the cat my friend.

 

Good luck in all your adventures.

[Thrax 384]

Crackojack,

 

I'm just curious and by no means questioning your reasoning, but if you are a single male why would you be interested in a couple swing party to begin with?

 

Even though all the swing parties (clubs, house parties, campouts, etc.) I've been to have been mostly couples, they have always allowed single females, and at least one single male (obviously, since I attended). Hasn't really been an issue for me. I accept the single male restricted admittance and sometimes higher entry fee, and if it's a couples-only party, then I can't go. No problem. But still, if I have the time and the money to attend a swing party -- and I am welcomed to it -- be sure as snow is white that I'd go.

 

I can't speak for Cracker0Jack, but I go to those parties because they are usually interesting and allow me to engage in non-vanilla recreational sex.

 

And that's tons o' fun.

 

Being single was a sexual adventure in its own rite for me personally...

 

I agree that being single is a sexual adventure, but that's one path. A single male who is able to participate in the swinging world is definitely not on quite the same path as the single male in the vanilla world, or is jumping from path to path.

 

Anyway, as a single male, most of my sexual experience has been in the vanilla dating scene and relationships that grew from that. But over the past seven years, since I decided to try this swinging path occasionally, I've experienced some things that would be EXTREMELY unlikely for me to enjoy in the vanilla sexual world. So, I try to keep in touch...

[Twilighttap 168]

Reading this after 16 years, entitlement thinking and tantrums because others don’t do what you want when you want it doesn’t seem to have gotten better. 

[Anon321 522]

I'm not sure why someone would be surprised by this.  This is pretty standard at most swing clubs we've been to as far as single men paying more.  The idea that they can only approach females with a certain armband is one that I am not familiar with though.  But the women are the ones drawing in the crowds.

[24fun4u 8]

On 6/21/2007 at 2:44 AM, cracker0jack said:

Oh, did I mention that we had to wear glowing armbands? And could only approach a female with a glowing armband, unless otherwise invited to join? what the hell did I pay 70 bucks for?

 

That is to protect couples who don't want overly aggressive, entitled single males who can't seem to ask permission to grab my wife's ass  or tits because they feel that the fact that they paid $70 bucks allows them to think that they can fuck, harass or assault any woman they want because they paid for it, maybe?

 

what the hell did I pay 70 bucks for?

 

To me its a rip off. I think that if females come without a male then they should be fair game for everyone, just as the men should. No is No... and if there is only a selected single males then where would there be a problem?

 

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA No is No HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA That was too funny man. A single man accepting a no from a women. Everybody knows that the old adage "Your lips say no, but your eyes say yes" is the mantra to live by. Of course they would love it, if they get from me! They just don't know it, right?

 

The bottom line is these meets don't want single males to be involved for some reason. Hell, I've gotten laid a lot cheaper than what I paid to get into the meet, and that included dinner, driving, and the whole nine yards lol. Granted, it is not all about if you get laid or not, it is about meeting people and having fun...

 

 You really just said that, and you wonder why?

 

If they pay that much to get in, should single males not be treated equal as everyone else? Should they not have the right to have fun as everyone else?

 

"Have the right"

 

 You nailed it right there dude.

 

I think that next time... I'll just throw a house party and everyone can have fun!!!

 

 And if nobody came, or if it was a sausage fest, would you get a clue then?