Nonsmoking swingers

[princeton152002 15]

I was reading the threads about nonsmoking clubs and it prompted me to ask a question.

 

There seems to be some strong feelings about a smoking enviroment in some of the clubs. How do swingers feel about smoking in general?

 

Trying to make some assumptions. If a swinger in general is more concerned about appearance and health would there be less smokers in swinging than the normal population? Or because swingers would be considered more open minded would there be more smokers among swingers?

 

Another question is who would you swing with? Do smokers prefer smokers or does it matter? Nonsmoker swingers. Would you reject someone if they are a smoker? Or would it only matter that they did not smoke in you area?

 

I am also curious who would even see this post. Smokers/nonsmokers

[sexcupid 809]

Well...I am a non-smoker...my SO is a smoker.

 

We have played with both. I prefer non-smokers, but it's not a deal breaker for me.

 

The first time we played, I was the only non-smoker....and when playtime came to a rather abrupt halt, everyone kind of convened in the same room and the 3 of them lit up. I was never so glad to get out of bed and get my clothes on in my life (it wasn't a great first experience...but damn it, I needed some fresh air!!! ).

 

We usually try to go with the flow....one couple we played with were both non-smokers and in deference to that, Jeff refrained from smoking, but did have a tube of nicotine lozenges (they are a stop smoking aid) to tide him over on the nicotine fits. lol

 

If everyone happens to be smoking, I'm not going to get on a high horse and tell them they can't because I don't...as long as I'm not in a small, enclosed space with no ventilation (however, if everyone lights up at once even in a decent space it makes my eyes itchy and I want to sneeze...or chainsmoking, ugh).

 

Um, maybe this is wordier than you intended for a response...we just go with the situation...but for some smoking may be a definite deal breaker.

 

 

Maria

[WesternSwing 504]

I have always been a non-smoker and Mrs. WS used to smoke and now only does it when in a party situation and when drinking... and not always then. To us it doesn't matter if someone else does. It's never been a show-stopper if the do.

 

In my experience the ratio of smokers to non-smokers in the lifestyle pretty much seems to mimic the general population.

 

Mr. WS

[Tybee Swing 286]

Nonsmoker swingers. Would you reject someone if they are a smoker? Or would it only matter that they did not smoke in you area?

 

We're non-smokers and we only wish to swing with other non-smokers. We're not running profiles at this time, but when we do, we make that clear in a very polite way so that they know up front.

 

Smokers who want to swing with non-smokers will say things like, "but we won't smoke in front of you". It doesn't work out like that. Smokers are most apt to smoke in the settings we'd meet them- socializing, drinking, dancing, etc. Even if they leave the table to smoke or blow smoke in the other direction, they smell and taste strongly of it. To offense intended to anyone, but to a person who doesn't smoke and is sensitive to smoke, it's just really unpleasant. My husband and I are both very sensitive to smoke. When we're around it, our heads are stopped up for a day or two after. My eyes get red and itchy. We use allergy eye drops when we go into clubs, I'm on Allegra and he'll take Benadryl, but it doesn't help much around smoke.

[nwmifun 16]

Not a lot of time to type, but we're both non-smokers and as said above, it's not a deal-breaker, but we DEFINITELY prefer other non-smokers and make it a point to only meet up with with very polite smokers.

[Cpl2share 147]

I am a smoker and Mrs. Cpl quit 7 years ago (I am so proud of her, she has more balls than me, LOL). We both think that the smell of cigarettes is nasty, and we both think it is a disgusting habit. But: I make sure to be respectful of non-smokers until they become militant or rude to me. I also make sure to have breath mints or something to freshen up after smoking. In our experience, MOST of the really militant non smokers just need something to bitch about. We had one friend who never failed to do the booger fan when I was around whether I was smoking close to her or not. I then caught her at a "cigar tasting" party. A small tavern that you could hardly see 5 feet and she had a cigar in her mouth. From that point on I told her to shut up any time she started to make noise about ME smoking. Granted the smoke does smell different, but it is still tobacco smoke. IF you can't breath it, then what the hell are you doing in a situation that condones it? Does it really matter if the person at your table is smoking at the tavern when the guy right behind him at the next table is smoking? NO! Okay off my soap box, I am just pissed that our governor wants to tax us (smokers) at a rate of 300% for a pack of cigs.

[SouthBond 18]

Our only addiction is sex. Never smoked anything. Would not rule out another couple that did but prefer couples that don't. Presently, all of our play couples are non smokers.

[hotcpl4unfla 19]

We are both non-smokers, and will only hang out with other non-smokers. I have bad allergies, and cigarette smoke aggravates it. I have friends (not playmates) who are smokers, but the wife and I find smoking a turn-off. The smell, the breath, all of it bothers us. Our current play couple is also non-smoking.

[Fred&Wilma 15]

Nothing new to add to the comments of the non-smokers who prefer smoke free.

 

My comment is from a pack a day for 30+ years ex smoker who lost track of the number of times I quit.

 

There is a new drug from Pfizer called Chantix if you want to quit. It deals with nicotine addiction, you deal with the habitual addiction. It has the highest success rate of any method available.

 

The medication is cheaper per day than a pack of cigarettes.

 

Oh yeah, the sex is better when you do not smoke since smoking constricts your blood vessels which feed your erogenous zones.

 

If you want to quit, give it a try, no harm in using any assistance you can lay your hands on.

 

Fred

[hubnher 15]

If and when......

 

Only non-smokers.

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

We are both non-smokers. Laurie is allergic to tobacco smoke. Until she started on this newest allergy medication we couldn't go to night clubs or even some house parties. She would swell up and get wheezy from the smoke. We even had a few smokers assert that she was lying about the allergy just because she didn't like smoke

[JonnyQuest 15]

I quit smoking in 98 after 17 years. My wife doesn't smoke either, but we don't care, really. All we are truly after is really great sex. Then again, I can totally understand the problems caused by allergic reactions and such. That would make a difference.

[bethncole 49]

Neither one of us would play with someone who is a smoker, and probably wouldn't go to a club that allows smoking. Just a preference, but we see this a lot at least here in CA.

[ShellyM 0]

We prefer non-smokers simply because we are non-smokers and frankly can do without the cigarette taste. However, we do not dislike it to the point where we do NOT play with smokers.

Shelly

[fun4Ds 1,098]

we are smokers who live in a smoke free inviroment, we would never smoke in someones house, hell we dont even smoke in our own house. we work in a smoke free inviroment.. so long hours of no smoking is nothing to us. nor would we refraining from playing with non smokers. our city is smoke free in all resturants so no one would have to worry about smoke at dinner. we can understand peoples choice due to allergies but we are big on mouth wash, tooth paste, and mrs.fun has these cute little breath mints, whom we wish sometimes a few people would just take one pleaze. sometimes whisky,beer breath can be overwhelming even if ya dont smoke :surrender .

[sunrise_sunset 16]

the on prem we go to, Carolina Friends, allows smoking only in a designated area. Unfortunately, that area is right next to the dance floor. The play areas are completely smoke free of course.

[LOL_OMG 130]

We smoke to pay for the Cleveland Browns stadium...in which there is no smoking

 

Oh and we're not Browns fans, we just like to help pay for the stadium (in which there is no smoking). We like to play with browns fans tho.

 

Mrs

[lovemonkey#1 48]

we're both nonsmokers and we prefer to play with nonsmokers.

 

no offensive to anyone, but i just plain HATE cigarette smoke. almost everyone in my family smokes (dad, mom, most of my aunts, uncles and cousins, grandparents, etc.) so i'd always smell like it. i'd get in trouble at school because i reeked of it and all my teachers and friends would accuse me of sneaking off to light up between classes. my clothes all smelt horrible and the worst part was, i didn't even realize until somebody would point it out to me.

 

i'm also a musician and it sucks to be up on stage trying to play while your eyes are burning and you can barely breathe because more than half of the audience is smoking right in front of you and you can't get away from it. i was so relieved when DC finally banned smoking in the bars and restaurants.

 

so, sorry to say, it is definitely a deal breaker for me. i have been exposed to it my entire life and i have no desire whatsoever to be around it if i can help it. all my friends know that i'm not very tolerant of it so the ones that smoke do their best not to do it around me. i hate to be prejudiced about it but i can't stand it

[bethncole 49]

We wouldn't swing with anybody who smokes. It's that simply. And we know many couples who are the same. It's probably a little different in CA but most non-smokers can't stand kissing or BO of smokers. Nothing personal - just a personal preference.

[Guest cplskbif]

We are both smokers so if a female smokes or not thats fine.We have polite way about us if you don't smoke we won't smoke around you its just we think its the polite thing to do,no problem with that.

[lovinher 505]

Neither one of us would play with someone who is a smoker, and probably wouldn't go to a club that allows smoking. Just a preference, but we see this a lot at least here in CA.

 

 

We wouldn't swing with anybody who smokes. It's that simply. And we know many couples who are the same. It's probably a little different in CA but most non-smokers can't stand kissing or BO of smokers. Nothing personal - just a personal preference.

 

Are you sure?

[mfmswing 17]

We are nonsmokers and think that smoking is a nasty dirty habit. We will swing with those who smoke if they don’t do it around us and don’t smell like an ashtray. It’s not that hard to carry some mouthwash and fabric freshening spray and use it after a smoke. If potential swing partners are not willing to do those things at a minimum, then they don’t care enough about our friendship for us to bother with them.

[princeton152002 15]

Thanks everyone for the very interesting replies. I noticed that no one said "ooh I prefer smokers".

[omack 15]

we smoke, and drink, we wont swing w/ people that do not.

even if they are not rude about it, I want to hang out and not worry if what I am doing is bothering you.

[Alura 2,775]

We don't smoke but wouldn't rule out smokers as playmates.

 

We do like to stay out of a smoky environment, though. Mrs. Alura can cope with it for awhile but will eventually get headachy. We're very aware of what cancer can do to people and like to keep away from carcinogens.

 

Mr. Alura

[Ellyanne77 81]

There is a new drug from Pfizer called Chantix if you want to quit. It deals with nicotine addiction, you deal with the habitual addiction. It has the highest success rate of any method available.

 

The medication is cheaper per day than a pack of cigarettes.

 

Oh yeah, the sex is better when you do not smoke since smoking constricts your blood vessels which feed your erogenous zones.

 

If you want to quit, give it a try, no harm in using any assistance you can lay your hands on.

 

Fred

 

I decided to do a smoking search this morning. We are both smokers. We both talked about trying to quit after the first of the year. I (the wife) went to the doctor and got on Chantix. I'm three weeks into it and smoke free for 6 full days.

BUT

We haven't had sex in 2 weeks (no lie). My attitude is horrible I snap at the drop of a dime, I'm overly down on life in general lately. This is not normal for me. So I started thinking yesterday do the consequences out weigh the risks (this was the line my doctor said to me when i told him my concerns with the studies that have been done on this medication in relation to depression and suicide).

 

My feeling is I want me back. I'll have to quit another way. Eventough this has been the best experience for the quitting side...I haven't been crawling up the wall etc etc. Its just not worth it to me in this way. If I'm fighting or snapping with the one person I never argue with, if we aren't having sex nor am I interested (not like me at all) etc etc. I'll just have to find another way.

 

All this being said back to the topic on this thread lol:

 

We have found that b/c we are smokers we are every so often disappointed that a particular couple states no smokers when they look and sound like we would all get along great. Its a let down. Knowing its our fault/decision to change that.

We happen to be considerate smokers and hubby even carrys mouthwash in his jacket pocket and I should buy stock in gum lol. We ask the same in our partners.

[des1re06 200]

We've known several people who've tried Chantix and have given it up due to wild mood swings and nightmares.

 

I quit for 8 weeks when I broke my leg, but I got addicted to lollypops instead (apparently I have an oral fixation ). I gained 10 pounds in that time I was lying around, and it pissed me off. I've worked too hard to get off the weight, so I went back to smoking, but much lighter than before.

 

We're always considerate with smoking, but you can't get the smell out of your clothes. It's best to be naked

 

Good luck in your quitting.

 

Mrs. D

[iapr 24]

I am not going to be my usual diplomatic self on this one (yeah as if). Smoking really does negatively impact our swinging experience in a number of ways. One it's just plain gross. I hate smokey bars where the smoke just hangs in the air and irritates your eyes and throat. I wear contacts and towards the end of the night I look like some kind of redeyed demon. Even if we head back to a non smoking room the stale smell is still in people's clothes and hair. (I guess if there is one silver lining to smoking is it gives us an excuse to get people naked and all sudsy in the shower together:lol:)

 

It also really cuts down on the number of people we play with. Smoking is a complete deal breaker for mrs iapr. If a guy smokes she doesn't want to play with him no matter how nice or good looking he is. She is very picky and she doesnt' like many guys so that is just another thing that disqualifys people.

 

I am usually a supprter of people's individual rights and if people want to kill themselves by their lifestyle choices that is their decision but smoking impacts me directly. If there were a club that opened nearby that was smoke free they would have my business in a heartbeat.

[Ellyanne77 81]

Thank you for your comments iapr! I can completely see your points and feel like everyone smoker or non is more than welcome to voice their opinions and I agree I have been in bars before that I chose not to go back to b/c of the amount of smoke...and coming from a smoker that says alot.

Where we are from they have banned smoking in public places which I think is great. Even the building I work in does not allow people to smoke outside the building they tell you to leave the property...that is how it should be.

[rpu3 630]

We've known several people who've tried Chantix and have given it up due to wild mood swings and nightmares.

 

Actually, a couple of the news organizations just yesterday reported on a study that showed those using Chantix for smoking cessation have 8 times higher odds of suicide/suicide ideation (depending on the news report) than the general population. The FDA warning and news reports from yesterday readily available via Google/Yahoo.

 

The spousal unit has battled smoking off and on since age 16. He's always refused to go the prescription drug route - no Welbutrin, no Chantrix, nothing, because the powers that be usually find a year later everything bad about the drugs and he feels those side effects are worse than the smoking.

 

Right now, he's not smoking, but he's hooked on the 2 mg Nicorette lozenges. At least he's not defiling his lungs. And at least he's down from the 4 mg lozenge/gum.

[CrazyCampers 15]

I am personally allergic to cigarette smoke and it also triggers asthma attacks so I don't think it's a good trade off personally. We have tried to meet swingers that smoke but since they are unable to refrain from smoking while with us and have to escape once or twice to have a quick puff, it just doesn't work for us.

 

If smokers were able to quit for one night then we wouldn't have any problems hanging out with them but that is just not something most smokers are interested so we tend to shy away from smokers....cigarette smokers that is hehehe.

[DecaturAreaCpl 15]

Neither one of us smokes, and we would rather not be around smokers. That said, we won't reject smokers for that reason only. But if we have a choice, the non-smoking couple is going to win.

[SCcpl40 74]

Non-smokers here. As far as secondhand smoke, for every 4 cigarettes a person smokes, the non-smoker with them consumes one.

[LFM2 1,482]

Neither of us smoke, but we aren't opposed to people who do. We're like many people and hate going into smoky bars and such, but, many people do smoke. Personally, I hate the way I smell after being in a bar. I can't shower quick enough.

[pervgeeks 119]

I used to be a social smoker (mainly before I was married to my husband), but in all honesty, my husband hates the smell and taste. It's a non-issue for us if the man smokes (though not indoors with us), but he really isn't into tasting that on a women. If she were otherwise a good match, was a light smoker, and used a lot fo mouthwash, it wouldn't exclude her, but tasting like an ashtray is a definite no go.

[daisy girl 34]

We are both non-smokers and have severe allergies to smoke. The smoke particles are very hard to get out of clothing and rooms and we really dislike the taste of kissing smokers.

[dudleydoesit2 17]

They say that an ex-smoker is the least tolerant of those that smoke and I guess there's some truth to that. Being in a smoky environment for a few hours clogs my sinus', and the next morning I have to wash the stink out of the sheets I just slept on, my clothes, and hair. It is a total turn off to be close to be cuddling up with a sexy babe and have the reek of cigarette smoke overpower her natural scent. Reeking of cigarette smoke is a deal breaker for me.

[havefuninsun 122]

We are non-smokers and hate being in smokey environments.

[socolais 696]

Last summer, I grew a couple of tobacco plants in my back yard and I rolled my own cigars. My preference for tobacco may limit my swinging options in some ways, but there are always a few swingers that can appreciate a home-grown, hand rolled cigar and a snifter of brandy....

[WeMayTryIt 120]

As far as secondhand smoke, for every 4 cigarettes a person smokes, the non-smoker with them consumes one.

I'd like to see what methods were used in this study--do you happen to have a link? According to studies that use monitors to quantify the air quality of non-smokers, highly-exposed passive smokers effectively inhale the equivalent of about 6 cigarettes a year. I suppose we can all find studies that support our position. Back to the regularly-scheduled program...We're smokers, and we prefer to be with friends who also smoke, because we don't have to guard ourselves. But the vast majority of them don't smoke, and we oblige their request to not smoke around them. We have no problem refraining from smoking for an entire evening if playmates prefer it.

[Tybee Swing 286]

According to studies that use monitors to quantify the air quality of non-smokers, highly-exposed passive smokers effectively inhale the equivalent of about 6 cigarettes a year.

 

For those of us who don't smoke and don't want to smoke, that's 6 cigarettes too many.

 

Regardless of what studies say, being exposed to smoke, like in lifestyle clubs, greatly diminishes our experience and causes a great deal of physical discomfort...sometimes to the point of having to leave earlier than we would have liked to. Trust me, the "air quality of non-smokers" sucks, no matter how they measure it.

[sweet_tna 680]

Mr. Sweet and I are both nonsmokers, and prefer other nonsmokers. But we will play with considerate smokers.

 

=)

[BCinIN 52]

Smoking's great. Only smoking when we drink (weekends) is even better--our health, even after 15 years, hasn't had any detrimental effects. Having all week to heal works wonders. Most of the people we know who smoke all the time, on the other hand, have developed minor problems (smoker's cough, low energy, run out of breath quickly, etc.).

 

We prefer smokers, and since that's all we search for, honestly we've never met any nonsmokers (the club we go to is a smoking club as well). But who knows what the relative percentages are? I personally wouldn't adjust my habits for other couples who didn't like smokers--after all, the idea is to find compatible people, right? Everyone has a lot more fun when no one has to surrender any habits for the evening.

[Tybee Swing 286]

honestly we've never met any nonsmokers (the club we go to is a smoking club as well).

 

Seriously? There are no non-smokers in that club at all? I wonder where all the non-smokers go??

 

But who knows what the relative percentages are?

 

We know very few people in our regular everyday life who smoke. All of our friends and the great majority of relatives and co-workers are non-smokers. But in swinging, we see a LOT more smokers. We suspect that there are more smokers in the swinging population than in the general population.

 

I personally wouldn't adjust my habits for other couples who didn't like smokers--after all, the idea is to find compatible people, right?

 

I agree with you! It's all about compatibility and comfort levels.

[WeMayTryIt 120]

...Trust me, the "air quality of non-smokers" sucks, no matter how they measure it.

I agree with you. The fact that the risk is statistically insignificant doesn't negate the fact that it's highly unpleasant for a lot of people. Just as the fact that it's highly unpleasant doesn't make the risk statistically significant.

 

...Everyone has a lot more fun when no one has to surrender any habits for the evening.

Indeed. But for us, it's worth it to sometimes set aside our habit for an evening, if it means that we have the potential for a great night with a great couple.

[Fred&Wilma 15]

I decided to do a smoking search this morning. We are both smokers. We both talked about trying to quit after the first of the year. I (the wife) went to the doctor and got on Chantix. I'm three weeks into it and smoke free for 6 full days.

BUT

We haven't had sex in 2 weeks (no lie). My attitude is horrible I snap at the drop of a dime, I'm overly down on life in general lately. This is not normal for me. So I started thinking yesterday do the consequences out weigh the risks (this was the line my doctor said to me when i told him my concerns with the studies that have been done on this medication in relation to depression and suicide).

 

My feeling is I want me back. I'll have to quit another way. Eventough this has been the best experience for the quitting side...I haven't been crawling up the wall etc etc. Its just not worth it to me in this way. If I'm fighting or snapping with the one person I never argue with, if we aren't having sex nor am I interested (not like me at all) etc etc. I'll just have to find another way.

 

All this being said back to the topic on this thread lol:

 

We have found that b/c we are smokers we are every so often disappointed that a particular couple states no smokers when they look and sound like we would all get along great. Its a let down. Knowing its our fault/decision to change that.

We happen to be considerate smokers and hubby even carrys mouthwash in his jacket pocket and I should buy stock in gum lol. We ask the same in our partners.

 

Greetings - I read about and experienced the mood swings that occured when I quit smoking with Chantix well over a year ago. However I only took Chantix for 90 days and the mood swings persisted for almost a year, though the intensity did decrease over time. The question then is whether the mood swings were due to Chantix or due to Nicotine withdrawl. My opinion is that it is the Nicotine withdrawl as the effects of Nicotine on my bodies metabolic system were very severe. The only person that makes the decision to quit is you.

 

To anybody who is trying to quit - Best wishes and keep on trying. It is worth it.

 

Fred

[Riverwoods 15]

Welcome to the world of Chantix, we also as a couple started Chantix Jan 1st. We have had some strange experiances on this stuff. We are both very sexual and our Libido went to hell and fell off the cliff. This was the month of Jan, well we were smoke free, and decided to keep with the program as it is only temp(right) LOL. Well a couple of more weeks into the Chantix program, he decides no way can't will not do this the sexual side effects are bad. Well he stops I continue, he still is smoke free after only being on the Chantix for only 6 weeks. His drive and performance returns within 4 days of being off Chantix, YA, right. While I am still taking Chantix, want no part of his advances, I become rather grumpy. He is a dear and bears with Me. Now mind you it now has been two months(we have had sex several times), but on my side I would sell my sole for a orgasm again. Which has never been a problem in the past. One side effect started happing was every time we got me very excited clitorial a horrible headache would happen immediately. As soon as we stopped the headache would subside, lot of fun here, LOL. I am still on Chantix it has been two months and starting the third month, things do not get better. BUT WE ARE NOT SMOKING - it has been three months now and I just took my last Chantix yesterday, read about the half life of the drug - I should be great cum this Sunday, have a day planned that he will always remember, O HOW WE HAVE MISSED MY LIBIDO- LOL. But folks we are smoke FREE. Will have to think about playing with smokers, we are still young at the no smoking and want to stay smoke FREE.

[personal416 71]

I used to be a smoker years ago, but don't anymore. I'm not biased against smokers per se, but since it plugs up my sinuses being around it, I don't find that enjoyable.

 

P's primary reason for not wanting to be around men that smoke is that she likes to swallow and smoking ruins the taste for her (she tells me allot that pineapple and vanilla soy milk are my best friends).

 

So... we have gravitated to those that don't smoke.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Will have to think about playing with smokers, we are still young at the no smoking and want to stay smoke FREE.

 

you can add this to your profile.... right after STD Free & Expect our partners to be you can add Now Smoke Free & wish to stay that way so we expect our partners to be as well.

 

Seriously though...

 

Congrats on quitting and good luck come Sunday. I know what it's like to have issues beyond your control interrupt your sex drive and how much of a pain it can be.

[Playful1 434]

I can't stand smoking.

 

Personally i strongly prefer non smoking playmates, however, I will deal with someone being a smoker as long as they don't do it in my place and they make sure their breath doesn't smell like smoke.

 

I have run into about the same percentage of smokers vs. non smokers as I have outside of swinging. the main difference I have found is that the ones in swinging seem to be a bit more considerate of others about it.