Do women share a fantasy of seeing their man with another man?

[Merric 21]

From Netscape love:

 

Wife Does Others

My wife goes dancing on the weekend at one of our local clubs. She picks guys up on the dance floor. Before the night ends, she will give them oral sex before coming home. At first, I didn’t like it, but it’s grown on me. Last weekend, she brought a guy home and wanted me to watch. Before he was done, she called me over and told me to do it with her. She then told me to do it while she watched, and I did. On Monday night, she told me that it really turned her on and she wants to watch me do it more. She said her fantasy is to have sex while watching me have oral sex with a guy. -Mel, 30

 

I’ve found many other similar letters on Netscape love concerning women wanting to see their man have sex of some kind with another man. Now that men in the Vanilla and Swinger world for the most part share the fantasy/reality of actively participating in or seeing their women or any woman/women having sex with other woman/women is a fact pretty much goes without saying.

 

So my question is do women here on the Swingers Board share this fantasy of seeing their men have sex with other men? Seems likely this question has been broached here but I’ve not been able to find it.

[havefuninsun 122]

I think it would be a fantasy of mine if Mr. Fun were into that. He isn't, however. He isn't homophobic, he has no problem being naked and hard as a brick in front of another man ... hell, if four bodies are on one bed, things might get touched. But he has no desire to be with another man sexually, so the fantasy doesn't play in my head.

 

I love him being turned on ... so I could see me thinking it would be great fun for him if that is something he wanted.

[lovefest04 699]

My wife gives this fantasy a big thumbs up.

 

She get's very turned on by the idea of watching two men get it on, especially kissing and oral, but has mentioned anal sex as well.

 

Something about men being gentle and caring to each other.

[sigh35 20]

I think I would enjoy brief touching, as long as they got back to me...why waste their loads on another dude?

[joaninla 162]

I'd love to watch my hubby and another guy.

[bethncole 49]

You know, I hear this more and more in the last couple of years. My wife does have that weird fantasy but doesn't push it because she knows it won't happen. However, I hear more and more from women how they'd love to see their boyfriends or husbands do that. Interesting how the tables are turning.

[Tybee Swing 286]

I've had the fantasy, but just like havefuninsun, my husband has no interest in that. I'd never ask for something he didn't totally want, and it's no big deal to me.

 

I don't think it's a "weird" fantasy though, any more than it's weird for a man to have the fantasy of his wife with another woman. It's exactly the same, I think.

[blondie77 17]

This is a huge fantasy for me, but it'll have to stay a fantasy. My hubby will never have any kind of sex with another man, and I'd never push the issue because it's not something he's comfortable with. He knows it's something I would love to see, so perhaps someday it'll happen, but it has to happen because HE wants it to happen. Still, the fantasy that plays in my head is REALLY HOT!

[WesternSwing 504]

Mrs. WS has said in the past that it isn't a fantasy in the way that she'd masturbate to it, or she fantasizes about it while we're having sex, but if that is what I wanted she would not be opposed to it. Her thinking is it's not so much being bisexual as simply being sexual. She sees FF as that way too.

[Merric 21]

This is a huge fantasy for me, but it'll have to stay a fantasy. My hubby will never have any kind of sex with another man, and I'd never push the issue because it's not something he's comfortable with. He knows it's something I would love to see, so perhaps someday it'll happen, but it has to happen because HE wants it to happen. Still, the fantasy that plays in my head is REALLY HOT!

Me being a sexually straight male to say the least since starting this thread I've been startled at these responses. None of my past or current girlfriends ever expressed the desire to see men in any way shape or form engaged in sex with other men. Maybe just because the notion never came up, so until now I'd no idea women had interest in seeing men with other men. And now that I've been enlightened with your statement you've certainly snagged my interest. So because of it I'm wondering if you'd care to share your really hot fantasy with us here on the swingers board? I for one would like to see what it is about man on man sex that would turn a woman on so much.

 

Anyway thanks whether you do or don’t

[des1re06 200]

Absolutely not! Sorry, but it's just not anything I'd ever want to see.

 

We go to gay clubs and see men together all the time, but I just don't want to see hubby with another man.

[blondie77 17]

Merric,

 

Watching my husband with another man is a fantasy of mine for many reasons, and I guess the top reason is I've never seen it before. Not with my husband nor any other man. It's the unknown I guess. It's something that's a little "naughty" maybe, or perhaps it's just because I know he'll never do it, so there's that little part in the back of my mind that thinks "but wait! That would be awesome!" A fantasy is something that's safe, it doesn't do anyone any harm and it gives me a little thrill. I've noticed that the idea of two women being together is considered alright, even sexy, but whenever anyone mentions two men, it's almost taboo. I would like to see my husband with another man probably for the same reason my husband (or most men) would like to see two women: it's different, it's not something you see everyday, and it's a little "forbidden" which makes it all the more enticing. Knowing it will never happen doesn't really make the fantasy any less exciting...perhaps it even makes it more exciting because my brain can come up with things that are WAY hotter than anything that's apt to happen to me in real life...haha.

 

Anyways...thanks for being interested in my response. I hope I was able to "enlighten" you a little more. Blondie

[Chicup 41]

blondie77

Me being a sexually straight male to say the least since starting this thread I've been startled at these responses. None of my past or current girlfriends ever expressed the desire to see men in any way shape or form engaged in sex with other men. Maybe just because the notion never came up, so until now I'd no idea women had interest in seeing men with other men. And now that I've been enlightened with your statement you've certainly snagged my interest. So because of it I'm wondering if you'd care to share your really hot fantasy with us here on the swingers board? I for one would like to see what it is about man on man sex that would turn a woman on so much.

Anyway thanks whether you do or don’t

 

Forum posts are self selected. No one posts unless they have a reason too.

 

As a example of how this type of selection can cause bias, when I was in college they passed out a sexual abuse survey to every woman on campus in the campus mail. I remember the day cause there were 100's of these on the mail room floor in my dorm alone. So some 20,000 women got this survey. From what I gather they had 2% response rate. Based on these surveys the schools incompetent newspaper ran a story saying 1/4 women on campus had been raped.

 

Now ask yourself, if you were a female, raped and had this survey would you send it in? They are suppose to test for this kind of bias but rarely does that kind of test make the news media interpretation.

 

So a question like this will get people who are interested to respond far more than those who are not.

 

So while the women I know in swinging are repulsed by MM contact, and as far as I can tell genuine about this feeling (to the point they once turned off a HBO show featuring some MM contact because it was a turn-off) you won't hear too many of them say 'hey no thanks'.

[The Fuse 1,012]

So while the women I know in swinging are repulsed by MM contact, and as far as I can tell genuine about this feeling (to the point they once turned off a HBO show featuring some MM contact because it was a turn-off) you won't hear too many of them say 'hey no thanks'.

"Hey, no thanks".

 

Seriously, a few days ago I thought of responding to this thread with a simple "No, I don't have this fantasy", but then thought that by itself wouldn't be much of a post. Chicup's post motivated me.

 

If Mr. Fuse ever expressed any interest in sexual contact with another man, I would support him, at least in theory. But I seriously don't have any urge to see it.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

This scenario was a fantasy of Greg's previous wife, but he declined to indulge her. No such fantasy has come up in our current marriage.

[Merric 21]

Interesting point Chicup

[themariner 27]

One of the biggest fantasies of women is to watch their man have sex with another man. Mostly sucking each other off. Men love to watch two women having sex together. It does not take a genius to figure a woman would enjoy watching two men having sex.

[jdavisauto 73]

I would love to watch my husband get suck by another man as I am being fucked by the same man. I know that this would never happen with him. He's not homophobic and has no problems being around other men or even gay men. It's just not his thing. I keep asking him and he tells me "not only no but hell no".

The Lady half.

[lovinher 505]

I'm all for fulfilling my wife's fantasies but this is about the only one I could not do....sorry babe.

[NymphoWind 16]

For my partner, it is a huge turn-on, she has often told me that she wants to see me give oral to another male, and to see another male suck me off.

 

She has this huge fantasy of watching me play with another male, and if/when she gets horny enough she would want to jump in and get served by both of us.

 

Although I consider myself straight, and normally would never play with another male, I think if the situation is right, and she was there and would go wild, I suppose I am curious about it.

 

But yes it is her fantasy to see me with another guy. I think this is very common with a lot of women out there, it's just like guys, and how we love to see a girl on girl. We're attracted to females, so what's better then just one when you can see or have two at the same time? It's the same thing with women.

[JKlovers 18]

I wanted to reply to this because my husband is bi-sexual and has been since birth (his first sexual experience was with a male childhood friend of his when he was very young). I had been dating my hubby for about a year before he admitted to me that he was bi. I was totally shocked when he first told me because I never would've guessed in a million years. At first I wasn't sure how to handle the news. I wouldn't say that I was homophobic, but the thought of my man having sex or giving or receiving oral sex with another man was just very weird for me at first.

 

The first week after he told me I had a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I would cry, sometimes I would be okay, sometimes I was just grossed out. Then I started realizing that his sexual preferences really didn't change who he was or how I felt about him. He is bi, but he has never had a romantic relationship with a man. His experiences with men are purely sexual, and then he has always had emotional relationships with women.

 

Over the years I have become very comfortable with my husband being bi. In fact, I even find myself getting turned on by it and will admit that I've fantasized about him being with another man.

 

My husband is nervous about being with a man in front of me. He said he worries that I will find him vulnerable or weak. It's something that we have talked about doing in the future (MFM threesome that is) with another bi-sexual man, but we just haven't taken the plunge. Maybe someday

 

So, to answer your question directly, yes I have fantasized about my hubby being with another man. I don't know that I would say all women have this fantasy though. Before I met my hubby and he admitted his bi-sexuality to me I never even entertained the thought of my man being with another man.

[bruncouple_nj 17]

I would love to watch my husband get suck by another man as I am being fucked by the same man. I know that this would never happen with him. He's not homophobic and has no problems being around other men or even gay men. It's just not his thing. I keep asking him and he tells me "not only no but hell no".

The Lady half.

 

That scene is definitely on our list

[chakka 28]

I would love to see my man do all of the above. I have fantasies about it all the time. Yes, he knows I think about it. He may try it some day, but for now, he's not into it.

[websterswingers 15]

My wife flip-flops on the subject. Before we were married, she brought it up and in my young bravado, I said no flippin' way. Now that I'm older, I wouldn't be opposed to fooling around with a bi guy. We still talk about it, but she isn't sure she wants to see me with one... she doesn't know how she will feel about it. So, I guess we will just leave it at that.

[herpob 564]

Merric,

 

Watching my husband with another man is a fantasy of mine for many reasons, and I guess the top reason is I've never seen it before. Not with my husband nor any other man. It's the unknown I guess. It's something that's a little "naughty" maybe, or perhaps it's just because I know he'll never do it, so there's that little part in the back of my mind that thinks "but wait! That would be awesome!" A fantasy is something that's safe, it doesn't do anyone any harm and it gives me a little thrill. I've noticed that the idea of two women being together is considered alright, even sexy, but whenever anyone mentions two men, it's almost taboo. I would like to see my husband with another man probably for the same reason my husband (or most men) would like to see two women: it's different, it's not something you see everyday, and it's a little "forbidden" which makes it all the more enticing. Knowing it will never happen doesn't really make the fantasy any less exciting...perhaps it even makes it more exciting because my brain can come up with things that are WAY hotter than anything that's apt to happen to me in real life...haha.

 

Anyways...thanks for being interested in my response. I hope I was able to "enlighten" you a little more. Blondie

 

Like blondie77 said it’s a bit “naughty,” kinky as well.

 

I agree with her about this and I've said it before and I'll say it again. If the guy wants female / female action he should be willing to return the favor with a little male / male action. Why does a guy want this? Same for us.

 

My guy has had many mfm and mfmm and more - mmmmmfm - get the picture? So guys and there stuff will make contact with you. He has no problem with it. If no condoms are the preference then guys are gonna get other guys' cum on them as well. While underneath females in 69s and another male doing her over him, he has had "things" happen that he would have preferred not happen but no biggy to him. But I noticed the more it happens the more excited I get.

 

Recently I have seen guys help the ladies suck him off while he was busy under her taking care of her. I have also seen people doing stuff to him anally together male and female. Now this has really been a source of great excitement for me. I can get off just watching it.

 

Not to long ago I finally gave in to my husband's desire for me to be more involved with the females in our sexcapades. I finally went for a fmf only. Well that only sparked a greater interest for me to see him with a guy or at least not stop them from playing with him (it was sort of our deal).

 

I really love to watch my husband enjoy himself and pleasure himself. I am the one who introduced anal sex to him and encouraged him to explore it. I also introduced him to cum. People often ask me why on earth? It is very simple after I the first guy I performed oral anal on went through the roof - I knew I had discovered something amazing about guys. Homophobic or not, when I am a performing oral on guys and tease them anally every one of them go absolutely ape. As far as cum – it’s a huge turn-on for me. Cum on a guy drives me nuts.

 

When I married I taught my man everything I knew about anal play, sex, and oral. I guess it has been a natural progression towards wanting to see him getting pleasured by guys. I does not have to go down on guys or do them but I do not see why he should ever oppose them doing stuff to him. I think a guy could pleasure him better than a dildo or strap-on ever could. I'd love to see him enjoy it as much as I do and I feel like a guy could do it the best.

 

Someone made the comment recently, "he might turn gay." Oh my gosh what a goof. Sure he might enjoy it, errrr isn't that is sort of the point? But he is not attracted to men in the very least. Same with me and females, of course I can look at a woman and notice a nice body and beautiful features but I am not attracted to them. Recently, I have been with several females sexually (new for me) and I am not attracted to them but I’ll have sex with them now. Why? Because my husband really enjoys it, it’s fun, it's different, it adds more variety, for me more kink, I’ve been into the cum thing for a while so it makes for a lot of crazy fun with that. As I mentioned earlier I even got him doing that.

 

Hope that sort of explains where I am coming from and several of the reasons I’d like to see it and be a part of it.

[Chicup 41]

 

I agree with her about this and I've said it before and I'll say it again. If the guy wants female / female action he should be willing to return the favor with a little male / male action. Why does a guy want this? Same for us.

 

You can say it again but you are still wrong here.

 

My wife has enjoyed some FF play. Key word, ENJOYED. I would not enjoy MM play. Even if it were a fantasy of hers for MM play I wouldn't owe her anything because she did an FF.

[safireblues 106]

I love it so much I married a bi guy. I love sharing cock with him, I love seeing him enjoy it, I love the look on a guy's face when he sees a woman see him do something so taboo.

 

BIG FAN!

[herpob 564]

You can say it again but you are still wrong here.

 

My wife has enjoyed some FF play. Key word, ENJOYED. I would not enjoy MM play. Even if it were a fantasy of hers for MM play I wouldn't owe her anything because she did an FF.

 

 

Well that's how we like to play. Owe or not - we like to trade out, tit for tat, I'll do it if you do it, etc. It's fun to try stuff for the other, though it sometimes takes a long while. I am now really enjoying the extra play. I think he will also. He like anal why not get the thing, certainly a guy can do it better than a toy. They do on me any way.

 

 

I love it so much I married a bi guy. I love sharing cock with him, I love seeing him enjoy it, I love the look on a guy's face when he sees a woman see him do something so taboo.

 

BIG FAN!

 

 

See that is what I believe as well. I thoroughly enjoy watching the bi guy go at it. There is just something awesome fun about sucking it with them or helping them do each other. And I really like to watch close up, touch, and feel. I don't know maybe I am a bit odd but it is so cool, guys can really get it on strong sometimes, more so than the ladies. I mean the ladies in our group do but not as often as the guys do. They seem to be able to get all hot horny sexed up and ready to do anything that moves at the drop of a hat. The ladies tend to build up to it over time, even I get that way more than the guys do. I love sex but honestly if I didn't work at it so much I could probably go longer in between.

[az469 15]

Of course they do. My wife loves gay male porno and bisexual movies.

[Looking4uwithus 16]

Here's another vote for "NO WAY" does the thought of Mr looking4 with another guy even SLIGHTLY turn on Mrs Looking4. Any m/m action is just wrong in Mrs opinion.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

I personally wouldn't go so far as to say it's "wrong", but no, it does not turn me on. If Mr NC ever decided it was something he wanted to explore, he knows he would have my support 100%, the same support he gave me when I discovered my own bi-sexual side that I never realized was there.

 

It is not a fantasy of mine. It does not repulse me in any way, but it's not a fantasy either.

[FlaPlaya561 48]

I have spoken to a lot of women and some say they would LOVE it, some say they wouldn't mind, and others are just against it. LOL...Lots of opinions.

[bathes 17]

Would love to know what my wife thinks. Do i just ask? It's never been discussed but she loves to fuck me with a dildo. Help lol

[AskMeOk 148]

One of the first couples we met "shared" this fantasy with us. She posted as bi-curious and he, as straight. I (Mr. Ask) told him I didn't mind collateral touching during a cluster fuck, but I wasn't into bi-anything. We felt that couple had hoped for a bit of bait and switch to come true.

 

Later, I asked Mrs. Ask about this and she said that MM stuff amounted to a turn-off to her. In the subsequent years, I think we have only run across one other couple that found this to be a turn-on and the ladies of the remaining couples really didn't care much for the idea.

 

My answer, however, is narrowed to experiences with Male-Straight couples. In the interest of calling a spade a spade, what you are suggesting is a Bi-Male sort of thing, whether he wants to identify as such, or not. IMHO, if you are looking to expand on this fantasy, your chances of success are greatly enhanced by looking for a couple with a bi-male. The wife may also be drifting over into fantasies of cuckoldry!

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Chicup discussed the self-selecting bias in this thread. Of course the self selecting bias also works in the straight world. Ask any woman who knows you are repulsed by males sucking males whether they have a fantasy to see males sucking males, and what do you suppose they are going to say??? Of course they are going to be biased into saying no way, no matter what their real fantasies are.

 

Repulsed by bi male oral people are not going to hear about or be aware of just how many straight men would be interested in being sucked off by a man, by a man and a woman, or in sucking a cock themselves. Obviously straight men so inclined aren't going to reveal it to a repulsor.

 

On swingers sites we are listed as both bi. We get a lot of responses from couples and men listed as straight but very interested in trying the bi side out. It has amazed us how many straight men confess to us a fantasy for trying cock.

 

Repulsors get a response biased toward repulsion. Enjoyers get a very much more positive response.

[mixtupcpl 169]

Chicup discussed the self selecting bias in this thread. Of course the self selecting bias also works in the straight world. Ask any woman who knows you are repulsed by males sucking males whether they have a fantasy to see males sucking males, and what do you suppose they are going to say??? Of course they are going to be biased into saying no way, no matter what their real fantasies are.

 

Repulsed by bi male oral people are not going to hear about or be aware of just how many straight men would be interested in being sucked off by a man, by a man and a woman, or in sucking a cock themselves. Obviously straight men so inclined aren't going to reveal it to a repulsor.

 

On swingers sites we are listed as both bi. We get a lot of responses from couples and men listed as straight but very interested in trying the bi side out. It has amazed us how many straight men confess to us a fantasy for trying cock.

 

Repulsors get a response biased toward repulsion. Enjoyers get a very much more positive response.

 

You're suggesting that folks here, *within their marriage* lack the "safe zone" required to share a fantasy.

 

Sorry... but I think you're *way* off base here. The number one requirement that gets called out time and again for this alternate lifestyle is openness, honesty, and mutual respect...

 

To say that you think all of these women are just hiding/suppressing their true fantasies because they don't feel comfortable sharing with their "repulsor" husbands is self-serving at best, borderline insulting at worst...

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Not sure how you received that impression from my post.

 

Chicup said that most of the women he knows do not have this fantasy. My point was that he was going to hear the negative much more often because he makes it quite clear he is repulsed by the fantasy. A person who makes his repulsion clear isn't likely to be told by those around him that they just love the fantasy that repulses him.

 

I didn't discuss what is shared within marriages. I discussed my personal experience finding that those who call themselves straight can be much more open to male bisexuality than the straight label might suggest. There are more than a few couples who describe themselves as straight in order to avoid the repulsion that Chicup so gladly voices.

 

And there are those who feel that satisfying their wife's fantasy to see sex between men does not make them bi. They simply are open to satisfying the fantasies of the one they love.

[mixtupcpl 169]

Not sure how you received that impression from my post. .

 

Because your post was very strongly worded and also broadly general. It was pretty much the same tone Chicup uses, just from the opposite perspective.

 

So extend it then. What if Chicup had said that all of the husbands he knows in the lifestyle have indicated that their wives don't have this fantasy? That would effectively be the same thing. Point is I don't accept the idea that women don't feel "safe" sharing this fantasy because of some kind of fear of backlash. People in this lifestyle are pretty open about sexuality.

 

As for a guy not being bi, yet being willing to have sex with another man to satisfy his wife, I find it incredibly unlikely.

 

What would we say to a totally straight woman having sex with another woman, despite having no attraction to women at all, just to satisfy her husband? We would say it was tragic. We would say she "took one for the team". We would say it was lousy, etc. We might even say it was abusive of the husband to push her, etc.

 

Now *could* that happen to a man? I suppose it could. Is it *far* less likely? Yes. I think the *vast* majority of the time, a man who satisfies this fantasy for his wife is by definition bi-curious and, if he in any way enjoys it, he is certainly bi-sexual in some way.

[PB&J 1,086]

I realize that I am just one woman, and I do not claim to speak for all. I do not have this fantasy. I wouldn't say that I am repulsed by it, it's just a "meh". It is not society which is keeping me from indulging in this fantasy, it's the way I'm wired. I'm pretty open-minded; it would be hard to be having fun with what we're doing otherwise. If it's what you like/want, cool, go for it; just don't expect me to go along with it because otherwise I'm being "close-minded". I never was a big fan of doing what others expected, whether in the vanilla or chocolate world.

[mixtupcpl 169]

If it's what you like/want, cool, go for it; just don't expect me to go along with it because otherwise I'm being "close-minded". I never was a big fan of doing what others expected, whether in the vanilla or chocolate world.

 

This is great! Thank you... I've been sort of struggling with how to say this, but I think this is definitely what touched a nerve for me... I feel the suggestion that *not* being into this is close-minded, is often hidden right beneath the surface of many of these discussions and, personally, I find that perspective just as unreasonable as the opposite view (that this type of behavior is "bad" in some way) As with most things, I find both extreme ends of the viewpoint spectrum unreasonable.

[Chicup 41]

Not sure how you received that impression from my post.

 

Chicup said that most of the women he knows do not have this fantasy. My point was that he was going to hear the negative much more often because he makes it quite clear he is repulsed by the fantasy. A person who makes his repulsion clear isn't likely to be told by those around him that they just love the fantasy that repulses him.

 

That would only be true if I told them my feelings ahead of time. It's generally not something that I bring up.

[PB&J 1,086]

I feel the suggestion that *not* being into this is close-minded, is often hidden right beneath the surface of many of these discussions and, personally, I find that perspective just as unreasonable as the opposite view (that this type of behavior is "bad" in some way) As with most things, I find both extreme ends of the viewpoint spectrum unreasonable.

 

I find it odd when one "side" or the other in these lifestyle tempest-in-teapots tries to prove that they are "right". On another site we belong to, out of Toronto, it's much worse. I once got flamed when, in a thread where someone asked what happened at house parties, I said that one of the good things about them was that one could play alone without worrying about the "4-way click". Well! I was a slut for suggesting that, let me tell you. Anyone who did anything but same-room was just plain wrong, according to the responses I got. Dear lord. I had never said that people who wanted to do same-room only were in any way morally deficient or uncool (and I don't think that they are: more power to them if that's what they want to do!), but they felt free to pass judgement on how my husband and I decided to swing.

 

I don't care what you do as long as you don't tell me what I should be doing. There is a difference between expressing a personal like/dislike and passing judgement on others' likes/dislikes. We swingers all do what we are comfortable with- and if we don't we are fools. If we limit our fun, or go beyond the boundaries that we as a couple feel good about, then we are giving into peer pressure, and that is JUST PLAIN WRONG.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

You've made your repulsion exquisitely clear here, Chicup. I don't doubt that the women around you are aware of your negativity even if it is true that such negativities remain uncharacteristically unspoken by you with those women.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Mixt, in my post you felt I was speaking about "within their marriage" when I was answering Chicup's women he knows, those women being outside of his marriage. I felt my post was very specific rather than broad as you interpreted.

 

That people are pretty open in this lifestyle depends on your interpretation of open. Chicup is open to expressing his repulsion toward male/male sex. I don't consider that an indication that he is open.

 

You seem to feel that women would have no trouble expressing a fantasy toward which their husbands have expressed repulsion. I have personal experience with fantasies expressed to me by women who will not express it to their husbands because they know their husband would be repulsed.

 

I have had more than one personal experience with a straight guy allowing me to blow him because his wife asked him too. Do you feel a straight guy can't enjoy a blow job from a man, or from a man and his wife together? Do you feel that a straight guy can't blow me and actually enjoy it, especially when it makes his wife go wild? Your opinion seems to be that a man is no longer straight as soon as his mouth sucks a cock.

 

My posts deal with my personal experiences and with Chicup's need to express repulsion in an otherwise interesting and positive thread. In no way do I feel a need for other men to try bi. But I will respond strongly to repulsive posts and detail how it reflects on the person repulsed rather than the fantasy or act. Such negativity in a thread about fantasies of male/male sex demonstrates that not all minds are open in the world of swinging.

[Chicup 41]

You've made your repulsion exquisitely clear here, Chicup. I don't doubt that the women around you are aware of your negativity even if it is true that such negativities remain uncharacteristically unspoken by you with those women.

 

Perhaps they sense it like a dog senses fear then eh?

 

Are you calling the women I've known bitches?

 

Let me relate to you a story early in our swinging. We had a couple over and the husband and I were off in another room doing something or other and the girls were watching TV. They found a skinamax type show and were watching that. We came back and the girls had on something completely different. We asked why they changed it and it was because two of the guys started kissing.

 

So we were out of the room, two bi girls watching TV, both changed the channel because they didn't want to see guys going at it, even in soft core form. The other wife said it was a turn-off.

 

But yes I know it's all about me, if only I wasn't afraid of my own sexuality then they would like to watch men have sex.

[mixtupcpl 169]

Mixt, in my post you felt I was speaking about "within their marriage" when I was answering Chicup's women he knows, those women being outside of his marriage. I felt my post was very specific rather than broad as you interpreted.

 

That people are pretty open in this lifestyle depends on your interpretation of open. Chicup is open to expressing his repulsion toward male/male sex. I don't consider that an indication that he is open.

 

You seem to feel that women would have no trouble expressing a fantasy toward which their husbands have expressed repulsion. I have personal experience with fantasies expressed to me by women who will not express it to their husbands because they know their husband would be repulsed.

 

I have had more than one personal experience with a straight guy allowing me to blow him because his wife asked him too. Do you feel a straight guy can't enjoy a blow job from a man, or from a man and his wife together? Do you feel that a straight guy can't blow me and actually enjoy it, especially when it makes his wife go wild? Your opinion seems to be that a man is no longer straight as soon as his mouth sucks a cock.

 

I do feel that way actually! But my opinion isn't quite as direct as what you say there. I feel that a man is no longer straight as soon as he *enjoys* that act or finds himself *attracted* to the other guy. That I would define as "bi" on some level.

 

Lets be honest here... A HUGE percentage of guys have "experimented" as kids. The fact is that our hormones kick into high gear long before we can compel women to give us the time of day. But that early experimentation, for most, is a purely sexual outlet during a time of immaturity.

 

Is it *possible* to have a similar experience as an adult? I suppose it is. Is it *probable*? I find it hard to believe. I would of course never say it 'can't possibly happen', but I can say that if a guy "took one for the team" and really enjoyed giving a blowjob for his wife's benefit, but yet somehow would not at that point define himself as bi, I would say he was kidding himself. I would also say that the majority of guys would simply say "no" to this fantasy, if their partner had it.

 

As for my interpretation, I really do believe you are speaking broadly and I think this post kind of illustrates that. You pointed out here that you think married women would not share this fantasy with husbands repulsed by it and you have firsthand experience. So yes, I read in, but I'd say that my instinct was at least somewhat accurate... But I'd like to get past that and discuss it because I find this interesting and a good dialog, assuming you're up for it.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Chicup, do you feel the women you know are insensitive to the spirit and power of your repulsion? You're a very intelligent person, yet seem to have a blind spot to the perceptive abilities of others. As I mentioned before I have no doubt that the women who know you, even as an acquaintance, get a sense of your powerful negativity.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Mixt, I love discussions and would be happy to continue this.

 

My sense is that guys have experimented more as adults than they did awakening to their hormones. I am one who never really thought about sex with a guy at a young age. It only came to my radar when my wife expressed her fantasy and we met those willing to try it.

 

I speak from experience with the number of straight men who write us seeking a threesome. Many express a curiosity with sucking me if my wife is there encouraging. More express a comfort with having me and my wife suck him off. This doesn't mean most straight men are willing. It means I've been surprised at how many are willing to experiment. We don't meet that many as we are very picky, but of the ones we've met, not a one has turned down being sucked off and most have tried sucking. Of those that try, all have found it exciting.

 

Which may mean only that we are good at picking!

[lardub 170]

My wife has also expressed a certain desire to witness this at first I was like no way, but as we have discussed it, I have found myself thinking about it and we have decided that if the situation presents itself and everyone feels comfortable that I fully intend to experience my this in front of my wife.

 

It is after all only fair as she was totally not into being with a female but we discussed it and when an opportunity presented itself she tried and she loved it and it is now something she enjoys now and again, I think her experience is what is fueling her fantasy of seeing me engaged with another male.

[19Wolf-Man51 35]

My wife loves to watch me with a man! She always joins in! I'm Bi but I only play with my wife!