Wife on Emotional RollerCoaster

[sgacouple 15]

We are fairly new to swinging. We have been married almost 20 years and have a wonderful and close relationship, completely in love with each other.

 

Here is the issue: The female half of this couple goes from one emotional extreme to the other, I would liken the extent of it to a roller-coaster ride, a violent one at that. One day she is all about it (swinging), the next she is all against it. We go to clubs a lot, she will be having the time of her life one minute and then, just like that, she is ready to hit the road. I can literally watch her body language and predict almost exactly when it is going to happen. She loves interacting with the girls one minute, can't stand it the next. Can't wait to get a couples phone number one minute, then taking an attitude when I ask her has she called them or when she will. Could anyone...PLEASE...help me to understand what is going on here??

[des1re06 200]

A question occurred to me when I read your post, because I recognize the behavior.

 

Prior to swinging, if she was in the mood and didn't get gratification shortly after, did she lose interest?

[havefuninsun 122]

Is she bi-polar?

[des1re06 200]

I was thinking more along the lines of adult ADD. A friend of mine was like that. One minute focused and happy, and the next thinking "I gotta get outta here and do something else."

 

He was 49 when diagnosed, and it just hit him suddenly too.

 

Almost drove his wife to divorce him first.

 

Other than the obvious emotional disorders, she just might be afraid.

[sereneiders 263]

Did you ask her to explain this behavior? What did she say?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Does she have major mood swings outside of swinging scenarios? Or is it just when it relates to swinging thing? I know you are getting a lot of questions here, but the more we know the more we can help.

[Zoe&Wash 93]

Is she bi-polar?

I think the sunny fun folks are onto something here. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that she's in her mid forties and possibly going through some life changes?

 

Have you expressed your concerns to her doctor?

[havefuninsun 122]

In the OP's original post, he said he can sense when she's about to change directions, so I assume that her mood swings run no matter what scenario they're in.

 

I have a sister who is bi-polar and she about drove all of us who love her to the funny farm. She's been successfully medicated for a few years now (a lot of problem with bi-polar folks is once they feel good, they don't feel like they need the medicine anymore, quit taking it, and then the cycle starts all over again). She has finally figured out she CAN'T go off her meds -- and she's been a very pleasant person to be around ever since. She's smart, and did a lot of research once she got her head around the fact that she had issues controlling her behavior (yes, I made a pun ). My sister's emotions were more extreme Happy to extreme Sad, not angry (thank goodness). But I've known of other folks who have the angry issue.

 

For the sake of everyone's sanity in your household, have her checked out.

[RidesLikeNew 45]

Well, I guess bi-polar is a possible issue, but I think it's kind of a leap. If you never noticed this sort of thing in other contexts, it's probably more along the lines of someone who has the same conflicts as the half of those polled here who haven't tried it yet...

 

That is, for example, my number one fear is that I will try it, like it, and then wake up the next morning and think, "What was I doing?!!!" Maybe she just has those waking moments in the heat of the moment, perhaps.

 

Maybe, until she's a little more comfortable with the idea, it would be a good idea to go to be in scenarios that are a little less charged than clubs or parties.

 

Of course, "getting checked out" is a good idea for any of us. In every sense of the word.

 

Cheers, Mrs. R

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think the sunny fun folks are onto something here. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that she's in her mid forties and possibly going through some life changes?

 

Have you expressed your concerns to her doctor?

 

This is what I was leaning towards... not necessarily bi-polar but perhaps a hormone imbalance. Even if it's not menopause I've known a couple of women to have other female problems cause hormonal imbalances that look a lot like menopause.

[sgacouple 15]

Thanks for all of your ideas and thoughts. Let's see, ADD, bi-polar, menopause, fear, pretty much a lot of the things I have been thinking. Another thing, she was raised in a pentacostal environment and I at times feel that she is in general just flat-out scared to death to have fun. She recently had a gynocological exam and tests and the doc ruled out menopause....he did say her thyroid was way out of whack. I am personally leaning toward the bi-polar thing myself.....I don't think that jealousy or insecurity is an issue because all of our interactions with other couples has created nothing but pleasure for us. She is a very routine oriented type of person, feels that she absolutely has to do a, then b, then c, before she can move to d...hope that makes sense!

[Tybee Swing 286]

sgacouple, perhaps it's time to move on. These problems are her problems, not yours to deal with or worry about. Virtually all of us have run into some sort of drama with people and have had to make the decision: do we want to hang in there and work through/around the issue(s), or is it time to move on?

 

Swinging is supposed to be fun and it's especially supposed to enhance your relationship, the one you have with your spouse. We feel that once it's not fun anymore and it's getting to be a drag, it's time to move along and meet others who don't have all the issues.

 

Best wishes to you.

[ShellyM 0]

OP,

Find new friends. Its NOT your job to figure this woman out, or your duty.

Drop her like a dirty set of underwear girl and find new friends.

[sereneiders 263]

Thanks for all of your ideas and thoughts. Let's see, ADD, bi-polar, menopause, fear, pretty much a lot of the things I have been thinking. Another thing, she was raised in a pentacostal environment and I at times feel that she is in general just flat-out scared to death to have fun. She recently had a gynocological exam and tests and the doc ruled out menopause....he did say her thyroid was way out of whack. I am personally leaning toward the bi-polar thing myself.....I don't think that jealousy or insecurity is an issue because all of our interactions with other couples has created nothing but pleasure for us.

 

Again, and what is HER take about all of this?

 

It seems to me you're overthingking and unwilling to ask her. Perhaps your guts tells you you may dislike her answer?

 

We have not enough information to "diagnose" your wife from your sole words, moreover when it is very likeky that you may face a conflict of interests. You may dislike the idea of quit swinging, your wife may have conflicts comming from the way swinging collides with her education and feelings, so it'd be easiest for you to blame on menopause, a bi-polar personality, hormones, or whatever else fitting your own agenda.

 

So far, you stated she had this unwanted behavior ONLY when swinging, and it is hard to believe a mind health disorder shows up ONLY when swinging, unless it were an structural personality one triggered by the swinging activity, and in this case there's nothing to do about this but to STOP swinging because it'd be inflicting a damage on her.

 

The fact that you didn't say anything about her oppinion makes me suspicious enough as to chose an explanation like this one instead of blaming to your wife's mind health or attempting to diagnose her. In any case, only a doctor can diagnose this sort of problems, but you're not asking them for help. What would you say to the medician, that your wife shows those signs making you suspect of a behavioral disorder ONLY when you swing? I can tell you right now what the doctor will say to you, besides his moral bagage: "folks, stop swinging!".

 

She is a very routine oriented type of person, feels that she absolutely has to do a, then b, then c, before she can move to d...hope that makes sense!

 

Let say this were a sign of a dissorder. You married her, before engaging in swinging and during 20 years this didn't seem to bother any of you, right?

 

Then, let me switch the context. Let's suppose that because of this she panics in a worrying way if she cross the street at the middle of the block instead of doing it "properly" in the corners. Then... stop making her cross the street at the middle of the block! It's all what she needs right now. Then if this really bothers HER, she may look for professional help AFTER you stop making her cross the stret in the middle of the block... it is HER RIGHT to choose whether se WANTS help in order to cross the street in the middle of the block, NOT YOURS.

 

So, swinging is the same than crossing the street in the middle of the block. STOP SWINGING!

 

In watever line of thinking I follow, I reach to the same conclusion over and over, that you have to stop swinging, and it seems to me you're asking us to help you remain swinging.

 

Are you really concerned about your wife health, or about your own desires?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

sgacouple, perhaps it's time to move on. These problems are her problems, not yours to deal with or worry about. Virtually all of us have run into some sort of drama with people and have had to make the decision: do we want to hang in there and work through/around the issue(s), or is it time to move on?

 

 

Unless I completely misread we are talking about the female half of the OP couple (not a couple they are playing with.

 

To the OP, an out of whack thyroid can cause major mood swings. Basically, you are dealing with out of whack hormones. Deal with the thyroid issue and get her health taken care of then think about swinging again afterwards. If the problem still persists then I would look deeper.

[Tybee Swing 286]

Unless I completely misread we are talking about the female half of the OP couple (not a couple they are playing with.

 

OH...having just re-read this, I see now. It seemed so detached, I guess...I didn't interpret this as a man talking about his own wife. I thought this was a couple talking about another woman. The first couple of sentences were "We" and very nice: "We have been married almost 20 years and have a wonderful and close relationship, completely in love with each other." Then suddenly there is "F part of couple".

 

To the OP: your wife clearly needs to work through some things and get right with it before you proceed. Have you talked to her about this....really talked to her, and most of all, really listened to her?

 

Overcoming a lifetime of religious baggage and family/society teachings doesn't naturally happen overnight. You've both been in a traditional marriage for 20 years....the swinging is pretty new in your lives. You know this is quite a radical change for her, right? Cut the love of your life some slack - be loving and patient with her. Go at her pace - let her go one step forward and two steps back, if that's her pace at the moment while she sorts out her various feelings about all this. Try to avoid labeling her and slapping all kinds of mental & hormonal problems on her at this point. She's been checked out by her doctor - they've got that base covered. Best wishes to you both.

[toosweet0279 15]

OP,

Find new friends. Its NOT your job to figure this woman out, or your duty.

Drop her like a dirty set of underwear girl and find new friends.

Shelly

That is a smart answer he has been married to her for 20 years. It is his job he loves her. you evidently do not read the entire post and jump to conclusions (Shelly)

 

 

Personaly

 

All the thought out post sound good.

Add, Bi-Polar.

 

But if you have ruled out The change.

 

Just a suggestion do you think it could be or has she ever been tested for

MPD

Multiple Personality Disorder. Just a thought from my side I was married to a woman like that. May be something to look at.

But I will say that since you have been married so long wich by the way congrats on 20 years. Sit her down you have obviously learned how to talk to her and she will eventually tell you what it is that is causing her to do this

 

anyway Best of luck in figuring it out I personally have not figured out women yet I figure I will by the time I die lol good luck

[ShellyM 0]

I did read it and understand. However, and this may sound superficial. If this is a woman who is your friend yes. But I'm sorry. I'm not a counselor. With such issues and a person is a play partner more than a friend I would tell them best of luck, get a counselor and would move on. Sorry, but thats the truth. Now, I'm not suggesting in any way that the SPOUSE leave his wife. But they need some counseling. I was talking about a play partner and this person. A 20 year marriage is never to be just thrown away...but she has GOT to get help.

Shelly

[ShellyM 0]

I just re-read the OP. I stand by what I said. The husband of the lady needs to have her taken to a doctor and counselor that can help her. As a play couple though I'm sorry, I'd be gone. I just don't have the time, unless this couple are friends. But just a couple we meet every now and then to screw? Nope, sorry. I wish her only the best, but I am not a counselor and would not be able to do anything to help her. What she needs are professionals, and in truth should she be in swinging with those issues in the first place???

Shelly

[Tybee Swing 286]

Shelly, I misinterpreted this OP, too. As it turns out, the happily-married-20-years-wonderful-close-relationship couple isn't talking about a play partner, he's talking about his own wife.

 

I took it the wrong way, too. I thought it was the wife of some couple they had met, that he was talking about.

[ShellyM 0]

Aaaaah, okay! That was a very mis-leading post then, because when I read "the female of this couple" I took that as the wife of another couple. Okay, thats completely different then. No, you do not drop your wife like a dirty pair of underwear lol. BUT OP SHE NEEDS COUNSELING. She needs someone, whether it be her ob/gyn if she is going through menopause or a licensed couselor to help this woman.....I can imagine that she is miserable. She just cannot want to be moody, she doesn't feel good. I would suggest pulling out of swinging at least until you get to the bottom of what she is feeling and what is causing this moodiness to happen, because even for menopause what the OP described is very extreme behavior...and in truth other couples should not have to be exposed when she is feeling low. So find out whats going on, get her happy again and go from there. I apologize if I offended you OP, but I truly thought you were talking about the wife of another couple. I wish you the best of luck.

Shelly

[sgacouple 15]

Maybe I should have asked my question this way: have any of you ever had to deal with your partner (or yourself) bouncing back and forth between being highly interested in "swinging" and then not interested at all.....sometimes the "bounce" occurring within 5 minutes?...When she is "into" it, she is having the time of her life, when she is not, she does not want to be anywhere around it or talk about why she is not into it at that point. Shelley, you are right, it is something that we need to figure out and I have told her that we would just stop swinging for now but when I suggest this she convinces me that she does not want to stop and then we re-engage and the same thing happens again.....this has been going on now for a year and it's really driving me nuts!

[Tybee Swing 286]

Mr. sgacouple, when this bouncing thing happens while you're with another couple or in a swinger's club (or whatever), what happens? Does the other couple or other parties get upset? Have there been any reactions that you could refer to when you talk to her, to illustrate your point with her? Something such as, "Honey, when you go back and forth like that time at (insert specific situation here), other people are affected. It makes for an unpleasant or uncomfortable situation for them, and for me. We really need to work this thing out and figure this out so that all of us, and especially you, will be comfortable and happy with what is going on."

 

Additional point: "We don't want to be labeled as flakes, right?"

 

I hope that things work out okay, and that you keep us posted.

[ShellyM 0]

sgacouple,

Well I'll be honest. Jay is at his wit's end with me now, but for a different reason. We have had no luck with couples, I am the erectile dysfunction QUEEN. LOL. So I go back and forth and back and forth on whether or not to bring singles into the mix. One day I'm doing singles only cause I'm sick of couple's shit. Then I want to give couples another try because there just have GOT to be couples out there that have a man that is like Jay. Then I get mad or we play with a couple and I'm back to the singles idea. So Jay is like just tell me when you decide lol. So as a woman YES, I can relate to her in flip flopping. However. This does not seep into other couple's experiences. When we are with a couple I give it 100%, and we NEVER let other couple's see us in a disagreement. Women are funny.

Okay. If your wife is NOT like this in your "regular" life I would say that she is doing a shelly, trying to work out a decision in her own mind about what she wants to do. I'd give her some space. Let her run through her own processes...but this should NEVER affect other couples. When you go to the club or to meet a couple she needs to act like an adult, and NOT do the flip flop thing. Its just very very frustrating to the other couple, and I have been there. We have been with couples where we were partying and having a blast and then we are looking at each other like "is she interested, is she not....so we go to the hubby and ask, and he wants to get laid so he says yes, and then its no....." we don't have the play time to waste doing this. So she needs to know before you leave your house whether or not its the night to play...and tell the couple from jump. If you don't want to play that night its cool...if a couple tells us at 9pm shes not feeling good its cool, because then we start looking at other couples, you see? But at 3am, then you decide to tell me, I'm going to be aggravated with you. If your wife is showing these symptoms in all aspects of her life than I would talk about counseling. You know, crying for no reason, not being able to make sound decisions, that sort of thing.

Best of luck to you!!

Shelly

[toosweet0279 15]

OK Well Sorry shelly if I came off Rude. But I did Get the post the first time I read it.

 

As for You sgacouple. I think There are alot of good Ideas here But maybe the best one is feed back. Since you asked for Opinions. Maybe you should show her this post maybe she will see that you are Concerned and that there are people out there that are trying to help you cope and help her at the same time just another idea you could try . After she reads this she may see just how much this also affects you . And do some sort of self evaluation.

 

I mean Forums like this are kinda therapudic Forgive my spelling I am a red neck.

 

 

So give her a therapy session and let her read this post!!!!!

[sereneiders 263]

Maybe I should have asked my question this way: have any of you ever had to deal with your partner (or yourself) bouncing back and forth between being highly interested in "swinging" and then not interested at all.....sometimes the "bounce" occurring within 5 minutes?...When she is "into" it, she is having the time of her life, when she is not, she does not want to be anywhere around it or talk about why she is not into it at that point. Shelley, you are right, it is something that we need to figure out and I have told her that we would just stop swinging for now but when I suggest this she convinces me that she does not want to stop and then we re-engage and the same thing happens again.....this has been going on now for a year and it's really driving me nuts!

 

You keep avoiding my question:

 

DID YOU ASK HER WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S HER ANSWER?

 

For how long you've been swinging?

 

Because, so far, you two could be a 20 years old couple with a couple of attempts to swing, and you could be an eager husband looking for a subtle way to keep pushing your wife to swing.

 

If those "sympoms" are seen ONLY when you two swing, and you didn't notice/bother/care of any similar symptom during 20 years, your wife doesn't need to be diagnosed, YOU DO!

 

The more you avoid answering my questions, that BTW, are the "ABC" questions in this forum, i.e. "do you COMMUNICATE with your wife?", I have to assume you didn't, and you DONT WANT TO.

 

So far my diagnose is YOU MAY BE THE ONE HURTING YOUR WIFE and provoking her "symptoms", yet, you didn't even pondered this idea, "it MUST be HER problem and not YOURS".

 

Why don't you invite your wife to read this post? Besides those symptoms she could be also "stupid enough" as to ask you to stop swinging?

 

So, unless you answer those basic questions, I believe we shouldn't give you clues on how to convince youself and your wife that she's the one having a problem required to be "fixed" in order to swing.

 

If MY wife, without showing any symptom before, were going nuts when attempting to swing, I would be the one calling off, I wouldn't want to swing to avoid hurting her. It's so plain simple to me, that I don't know why no one so far saw it this way.

[Zoe&Wash 93]

sgacouple -

 

You don't mention just how far you two have gotten into swinging. Has anything physical happened? Or has this all been foreplay with nothing beyond that?

 

It sounds like your wife is simply having a case of cold feet, albeit possibly at the absolute worst time, but that's what it sounds like.

 

If this problem is only happening when you're swinging, I'd rule out any hormonal, mental or medical conditions and concentrate on exactly what's happening when she changes her mind about things. Exactly what is it that set her off and makes her stop all action? Is there some specific activity that's going on when she changes her mind? What thoughts are going thru her mind when she suddenly stops everything?

 

It could be her religious upbringing that's creating the stone wall. Maybe someone says something or does something that triggers a religious flare in her brain. Or maybe it's just that she can't find a way past her own morals regarding swinging.

 

The two of you probably need to sit down and try to figure out exactly what it is that sets her off. You may have a good insight into this, since you said you can tell 5 minutes before she's about to change. You really need to sit down and try to find the cause of her reactions and attitude changes.

 

It might also help to step in an talk to her when you see she's hitting her wall, so to speak. Get her attention and get her to talk about it right when it's happening. That might make it easier to figure out exactly what's going on and why she's suddenly changing her attitude. Catch her before she explodes and does a complete turn around on you. Maybe that will make it easier to figure out the exact cause of what's happening.

 

If the two of you can't pinpoint the cause, then you may never figure out whether there's a solution to the problem.

 

Z

[sgacouple 15]

This is for “SERENEIDERS”. Thank you for your time and expertise. Before going any further though… try to more carefully read my posts please. Specifically:

(1) I have not asked you (or anyone else) for a “diagnosis”.

(2) I am not looking for “clues” to help convince my wife to continue swinging.

(3) If you read the posts you would'nt have to suggest that I begin communicating with her.

(4) I am not the one experiencing the strang behavior or "wishi-washiness".

(5) I have already stated that we have discussed quitting the lifestyle but she does not want to stop.

[sgacouple 15]

For the "rest of you": Thanks for your thoughts, they have not been just for me. I am going to give this a bit more time and then show her all of your comments.....

 

She & I have really spent a lot of time talking about this situation. I could not be more certain that she wants to continue. I guess I am just trying to figure out if this is typical for (some) couples who are in the early stages of "swinging". I just really don't know what to do. I totally enjoy the experience and she does too for the most part. With all that said though, she is by and away the #1 priority in my life and I would never suggest the subject again if she did not want me too and I have told her that time and again. I really think, at this moment anyway, that it is one of two things...either the thyroid situation, or the religious (moral) thing. She has always been involved in fundamentalism....me....I am an anti-religious christian, 100% believer, 100% against the established, money-hungry, fear-mongering, "church" mechanisms. My father is a retired baptist minister and I have seen far more "crap" from church-going, "so-called" christians in my life than I care to.

 

With that off of my chest...lol..thanks again.....you have all contributed some great points. If you have any more I am all ears. Whenever the input stops, I will have her read all of this.

[Tybee Swing 286]

She has always been involved in fundamentalism....

 

I know where you're both coming from. We're in the same region, by the way. My husband and I are both recovering Southern Baptists.

 

I guess I am just trying to figure out if this is typical for (some) couples who are in the early stages of "swinging".

 

Yes. It's not uncommon at all to be conflicted about this lifestyle, even without a very strict hellfire-and-brimstone religion. Since you're married 20+ years, I'll assume that you two are around 40-ish. 40 years of indoctrination isn't undone quickly - it goes all the way down to the subconscious level. It takes time for a person to work through things. After 40 years of fundamentalism, there are all kinds of guilt triggers, and a guilty, nagging voice inside one's head. I think that if people with strict backgrounds want to move forward happily and guilt-free, they have to resolve a lot of what they've learned within themselves before they can stop waffling and being unsure about things like non-monogamous sex.

 

My husband and I actually rectified most of this stuff within ourselves before we started swinging. Is your wife still actively fundamentalist? That will make a difference.

 

Best wishes to you both.

[sgacouple 15]

Thanks Tybee for your input. To answer your question, she is not actively fundamentalist now. While I have found peace away from it, she still struggles with it from time to time. Her parents are old-school pentacostals, particularly her mother......they give her pure hell about not being in church and it obviously effects her. For me, it took studying the bible, how it came about, and the beginning of christianity to break away. Up until then, I relied on the pastor to enlighten me. When I decided I would go on a journey for my own enlightenment I discovered I had been hoodwinked for an awfully long time. I was actually reading just the other day that the #1 reason for visits to psychiatrists/psychologists was due to religious burdens/fears that had been ingrained in peoples' psyche.

 

Back to the point....we got into this when we discovered our neighbors were into it. I will never forget how freaked out we both were on our first club visit with the neighbors. By the 2nd time though we were both quite into it and have yet to experience any type of jealousy issues...Yes we are early 40ish, have no trouble at all finding partners, and we have plenty of free time to be really involved.....if we just didn't have to work through these ups and downs....

[curiousswingers 17]

Just thought I would throw my 2cents worth in here as well. I happen to have a thyroid disorder so I am speaking from experience here, if she has any thyroid imbalance she should def not let it go and get it taken care of asap it plays extreme havoc with your moods and body. That could very possibly be the reason for her mood swings. I just recently have had a severe jump in my thyroid hormone and went absolutly nuts at a swing event much like what you described in your original post and my poor hubby was left wondering what the heck happened to his wife, I can tell you for sure it was my hormone levels. I just wanted to share my situation with you as it very well my be the case with your wife as well. Good luck and I hope things work out for the both of you.

[sgacouple 15]

Thank you Curiousswingers..as I said earlier, she has been diagnosed with a thyroid imbalance. Her level was 9.7...can you relate to or comment on that? We understand that that is way out of whack and she had her medication greatly increased......btw..she has been on thyroid medication for about 17 or 18 years now. In fact, the doc said she had Graves Disease back then...can't remember a lot about it except that the day the doc told her that Barbara Bush was on the evening news talking about it. I really appreciate you sharing that with me, it almost perfectly describes what's been going on with my lovely other half.....having the time of her life one moment; absolutely frikking nuts and ready to go to the house the next!

[funfun31 25]

Could be hypothyroid disorder... that can cause mood swings similar to a bi-polar condition.

[curiousswingers 17]

Actually i have Graves disease, and when i went nuts my thryroid imbalance was extreamly hypo like your wifes mine was near 9.0 so it is very similar to your situation, I would def have her see an endocrinologist as they can better help tweek the medication she is on and get her feeling normal. I hope she is feeling better soon, dealing with a thyroid issue is no fun and can make you very moody bare with her it does get better

[sereneiders 263]

This is for “SERENEIDERS”. Thank you for your time and expertise. Before going any further though… try to more carefully read my posts please. Specifically:

(1) I have not asked you (or anyone else) for a “diagnosis”.

(2) I am not looking for “clues” to help convince my wife to continue swinging.

(3) If you read the posts you would'nt have to suggest that I begin communicating with her.

(4) I am not the one experiencing the strang behavior or "wishi-washiness".

(5) I have already stated that we have discussed quitting the lifestyle but she does not want to stop.

 

Finally I got your attention... after asking three times. Yet, I still don't know about your wife's take on her own behavior. I didn't read your posts after this one, and I wont, anyway.

 

Just for you to notice, I wasn't the only one asking to know about your wife's oppinion, and you avoided the question, and that was, at least, suggestive to me. You're the one chosing to lead your thread through the "diasnosis" topic (to "help explain something" is to diagnose it, anyway), while not even pondering about your role here: you're ok, there must be something wrong about her. Well, sorry, but inside a couple, I don't buy it (not from you, from me, nor from everyone else).

 

She doesn't want to quit. Neither you do, even when you notice there's something wrong with your wife while swinging (and, up to this post of you, ONLY when swinging). If she were my wife, I'd be asking for help on how to convince her to quit, and just afterwards I'd be looking to "explain this". But, that's me, of course.

 

This is my last post in this thread. Forgive me if I don't wish you good luck. I rather wish good luck to your wife. Hopefully, it'd be the same.

[Botcpl 15]

doc ruled out menopause....he did say her thyroid was way out of whack.

 

The thyroid can wreck your life if you are not careful. Most people go hypo, but she is sounding hyper and that can drive everyone crazy. You jump from action to action and everyone is too slow for you. You ask a question and as soon as someone syarts to answer you don't wait for them to finish, but jump to the next and get upset because they are taking so long. There are other things too, but get that checked out.

 

There is a book called "The Thyroid Connection" I would check it out. When I went through it, my wife and I almost split up. If not treated, most people die of heart failure. My heart rate was 120 beats per minute instead of the normal 70. I could eat like a pig, but was loosing weight with no effort. I was always hot even when everyone had to wear coats because of the cold.

 

Do not make any major life changes until you have this under control. It took some major meds and three years until I went into remission. (I didn't do the radiation thing) You would think a town like Los Angeles would have a support group, but no. Not that many people have it and lots of Doctors don't even recognize it.

 

It is very heavey duty stuff. The thyroid is the thermostat of the body and controls everything. Get it taken care of.

 

Botcpl