sabe69 15 Posted August 19, 2007 I think my wife maybe interested in having sex with another female. I would like to explore and encourage this just not sure how to proceed. Here's what recently happened. We went to a local community event which featured a couple bands. We had been dancing for awhile and had noticed an attractive middle-aged lady dancing (very good moves) alone for sometime. I left to get us some drinks only to find my wife dancing with this woman when I returned. I'm somewhat turned-on by FMF or girl on girl fantasies. My wife has never indicated such interest. I didn't mind them dancing and confess I enjoyed watching. After a couple tunes my wife returned saying the woman had asked her to dance. The evening continued and we went home without any further discussion. Well no sooner did we hit the sheets than my wife indicated verbally (very unusual) that she wanted sex. When I reached down to stroke her I noticed she was already wet and ready. Normally she requires some foreplay before she gets into the mood. We went at it for several rounds both that night and the following mourning. She was wanting me to go down on her several times and licking and sucking my arm during intercourse. She had several multi orgasms. During breakfast the next mourning she mentioned the dancing episode. Saying how strange she had felt dancing with this woman. She said the woman's husband (non-dancer) was also watching and that she gave him a look and smile as she exited the dance floor to return to our table. I haven’t seen my wife this horney for years. The only thing different from other evenings was the dancing with the other woman. Am I being overly optimistic to think that dancing with another female was making her horney? What can I do to encourage this behavior in her, as I found it very stimulating as well? Should I encourage further instances, perhaps massage. My wife is the type that enjoys being seduced. Should I secretly encourage another woman to attempt to seduce her? Where would I find another woman to help the situation develop? Quote Share this post Link to post
2good4better 35 Posted August 19, 2007 It seems like you're not sure of your wife's intentions. Ask her. A simple question asked within the privacy of your own marriage will clear things up. Better to do that than to assume anything. Communication is key. Quote Share this post Link to post
BradAndJanet 70 Posted August 19, 2007 Yes, you should talk to her about it. Why not start with telling her how much you enjoyed watching the two of them dance? She may be afraid to open up to you about how she's feeling (and she may not understand it herself yet.) Keep it slow, don't push and don't try anything 'on the sly'. Open honesty is the best course. A swingers club would be the best place for exploring further, but she may not be ready to take such a step. It's not uncommon to see women dancing together at 'regular' nightclubs, actually. Any more of those community events coming up soon? Quote Share this post Link to post
Tybee Swing 286 Posted August 19, 2007 Am I being overly optimistic to think that dancing with another female was making her horney? No, it's not a stretch at all that going dancing and dancing with a woman probably made her horney. Watching you and the other husband watching her probably made her horney. But, it's a huge stretch to jump to the conclusion that this means she wants threesomes and sex with a woman. Very often, men make these big leaps in their minds. Very often, a woman just enjoys a fantasy, a thought about something, a slight flirtation, dancing for your visual enjoyment, and that's all she needs to stoke her sex drive. Many women who enjoy a fantasy don't want anything more than that in real life. What can I do to encourage this behavior in her, as I found it very stimulating as well? Take her dancing more often. ("This behavior" meaning dancing with women.) Should I encourage further instances, perhaps massage. My wife is the type that enjoys being seduced. Should I secretly encourage another woman to attempt to seduce her? Where would I find another woman to help the situation develop? Now you've crossed into the VERY PUSHY realm. Your wife is likely nowhere near wanting you to go find some other woman, and spring a threesome on her, especially without even talking to her about this first. I'd be pissed as hell if my husband was this presumptuous. Arranging sex partners for me behind my back would be a huge mistake... and we swing. My advice: Calm down and back off. Anything more than taking her dancing more often and letting her figure out her own desires for herself, letting her talk about her feelings about it, is pushy and will likely result in a backlash of her resisting the entire notion due to your pushiness. Relax. When she comes home horny from dancing, enjoy. At the right moment, you can tell her that it turned you on to see her dancing so seductively, and dancing with a woman. That's all she needs to know - she'll know that it turns you on. Tell her what a hot, sexy lady she is. If she gets to a point of wanting to explore further, she'll let you know. Quote Share this post Link to post
sabe69 15 Posted August 19, 2007 Should I mention this incident again, perhaps during foreplay talk to see if it sparks a good reaction for further discussion? My wife is not the type to talk sex openly during everyday conversations. She has to be in the right mood . . . then she is more open to and receptive of this type of discussion. And even then I doubt she would revel her inner most desires. I feel she is more the type to act spontaneously sort of in-the-moment. I do not have an urge or desire to engage in intercourse with another woman. However watching or partaking in the play would be fun. Just getting my wife to loosen up and do something a bit kinky for once would be treat. Any good movies (soft porn female-female seduction) that might encourage her or help to set the mood? My wife enjoys slow sultry seduction themes. Boobs and bare ass, kissing etc... is fine. She flakes out immediately at hardcore stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post
Tybee Swing 286 Posted August 19, 2007 sabe69 said: Any good movies (soft porn female-female seduction) that might encourage her or help to set the mood? My wife enjoys slow sultry seduction themes. Boobs and bare ass, kissing etc... is fine. She flakes out immediately at hardcore stuff. Since she already enjoys watching porn but not the hardcore, I'd suggest these as viewing for the two of you together: Nina Hartley's Making Love to Women, and Nina Hartley's Making Love to Men. Both are very erotic, sensual and "real". The scenes include actual seduction, unlike virtually all other porn. Both are produced & directed by a woman. Both are designed to give sex tips for making love (instructional; soft in that way). Great material for couples to share! The Making Love to Women DVD primarily stars Nina and a male co-star, but later includes a scene with Nina and a woman. Getting these two DVD's together wouldn't look like an overt and PUSHY suggestion about getting her/the two of you in bed with a real woman....do you understand what I mean? Read this board. You'll find hundreds of other threads that sound a great deal like yours. Men come here asking, "how can I get my wife to....". These men aren't swingers, and most never will be, because they're pushy and they just don't get women. Don't be one of those guys. Quote Share this post Link to post
TNT 1,155 Posted August 19, 2007 sabe69 said: My wife is not the type to talk sex openly during everyday conversations. This is really something that should be able to be discussed in the "light of day"...if it can't be, then it's probably not something that's going to be a good idea. Conversations about swinging usually do start in the bedroom but at some point they have to come out of the bedroom and make it to the kitchen table before they're acted upon. To presume that just because your wife danced with another woman means she wants to have sex with one is a big stretch...if you want to know how it made her feel you have to ASK her. Quote Any good movies (soft porn female-female seduction) that might encourage her or help to set the mood? My wife enjoys slow sultry seduction themes. Boobs and bare ass, kissing etc... is fine. She flakes out immediately at hardcore stuff. If she "flakes out" at the hardcore stuff...you've still got a ways to go. Do a search for porn movies that are for women made by women, they usually are less hardcore than the average porn. Teresa Quote Share this post Link to post
sabe69 15 Posted August 19, 2007 Thanks for the great tips and advice . . . this site is awesome! I agree my suspicions maybe a stretch. However something happened that evening that made her way hot and ready. The dancing incident is the only thing out of the ordinarily that I am aware of. I will ask her in a few days as right now is not a good time. If she responds positively to my initial round-about approach I will bring it up in a more cordial setting in the future. Quote Share this post Link to post
Tybee Swing 286 Posted August 19, 2007 I have to revise part of what I said earlier about Nina Hartley's Making Love to Women. I remembered part of it incorrectly. It actually starts out with Nina and a woman friend. The first segment is mostly lots and lots of dialog (very good stuff for both men and women to hear). The second segment is a very seductive, gradual, sensual scene between Nina and the woman. It's playful, sexy, and real. The third segment is another very erotic, gradual, very sexy scene with Nina and a man on a date. Each of the sex segments are longtime scenes, lasting just as long as really good sex does. Quote Share this post Link to post
sabe69 15 Posted August 20, 2007 Now that sounds puuuuuurfect! I plan to order it tonight. Is the "unicorn" bi-single-female FFM impossilbe to arrange? How about 40 or 50 something bi-females? Quote Share this post Link to post
NakedInSeattle 159 Posted August 20, 2007 Mrs Naked has been flirted with, danced with, and hit on by gals many times over the years and we talked about it many times. I'd suggest bringing up the subject as often as you want. She'll tell ya when and if she's tired of hearing about it. Recommend highly the Nina Hartley tapes/dvds. There are several different ones with similar subject matter. It/they pushed Mrs Naked over the edge and soon after seeing them she went for her first gal facelick and is now "a complete woman" (her words). Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post
sabe69 15 Posted August 22, 2007 Very long drive home tonight. Just out of the blue the wife mentioned admiring an attractive local red haired woman's large breast when they were much younger. She said this lady really had a large set at a very young age. And the wife would admire them years ago in the (from a distance . . . she says) middle school girls gym locker room. Apparently my wife was a late bloomer (boobwise) and was a tad bit envious of the other girls. She said the lady had a real hot body at a young age. I was to wiped out from the long drive to give a good response at the time. However once I get the first movie and sense the mood is right perhaps I could mention these recent events. Would I be too pushy to tell her that the boob story also made me horney Quote Share this post Link to post
sabe69 15 Posted August 22, 2007 Are there any certain ques that might signal when two women are flirting, attracted or hitting on each other? Any certain actions, eye contact, suggestive remarks, touching???? Quote Share this post Link to post
hotcpl4unfla 19 Posted August 23, 2007 My wife is very bi, and just going out to clubs with her and having her eye other females is an immense turnon for both of us. The other night, we were playing let me pick who you would like"...she would look for a woman that she thought I would find attractive. She kept saying, "would you be mad if I brought her home", jokingly, but since we have already had some fun with another couple, and she loves girl/girl action, I knew she was quite serious. Of course, getting these women to come home with us is a totally different matter- we just like to use it as a fantasy tool for her to get really wet and have a great fuck when we come home. Like your wife, mine is soaking wet even before any foreplay after a night out such as that- your wife is obviously very interested in having a little girl on girl action. It's just the finding of a single one that may be difficult. That's kind of why we went with another couple. Both girls had the same interests, and us guys enjoyed the show. It got to the point where we never swapped, but we were doing a lot of touching and inserting, if ya know what I mean. The only thing is my wife got burned out with this other couple, since she told me straight out she wanted another woman only and no "cock". She said one was all she needed, so we have been searching for the elusive SBF ever since. My wife is very attractive, and although a lot of other girls like to look and even dance with her, we really haven't got to the point of asking one to come home with us yet. Soon! Quote Share this post Link to post
sabe69 15 Posted August 24, 2007 If it turns out that my wife is bi-curious I can see a similar situation developing for us. While I doubt that my wife would act on these impulses I can see us possibly having fun with it. The exhilarating insatiable sex following the girl-girl dancing incident was the best I've experienced with my wife in many years. Quote Share this post Link to post
NakedInSeattle 159 Posted August 24, 2007 Sabe, you won't need any que's when two women (or two men or a guy and a gal, for that matter) are flirting with or hitting on each other. Flirting is the universal language of the mating ritual. You know when someone is hitting on you and you'll know it when she is hitting on someone or someone is hitting on her. Relax. You're over-analyzing it. Quote Share this post Link to post