Couples and separate room swinging.

[mfmswing 17]

We have been swinging for almost four years and have enjoyed many mfm threesomes and quite a few same room swaps. It has been about three months since the topic of separate room play came up and we have been going over this idea over and over since.

 

This talk started when the female half was out with some of our swinger friends wives. She came home that night and told me about one of the friend's experiences with this type of swinging.

 

She was clearly turned on and as I found out a few minutes later, she was very wet as well.

 

To make a long story short, she asked me if I would be into doing some separate room swinging? I never even thought about doing separate rooms until she brought up the subject. I do however have to admit that this idea was a big turn-on when I got a moment to think it over.

 

Now the point of my post:

 

Could any couples out there who are experienced in separate room swinging give us some pointers or share your experiences with us so that we can know what to expect when we enter this type of play situation?

 

Also, please feel free to add whatever comments you feel would be helpful to us.

 

Thank you all so much!

[The Fuse 1,012]

Try looking at this thread:

 

Poll: Do you do same room swap?

 

My husband and I have morphed from a "same room only" couple into one who sometimes did separate rooms, to one who mostly does separate rooms, to a poly couple with whom play happens when it happens, with whomever it happens.

[havefuninsun 122]

We have limited separate room experience, but have enjoyed it very much. The one thing that I love is that although we may be in separate rooms, the doors are open. I may not see Mr. Fun having fun, but I love to hear it -- and the same for him. Our first experience with this happened almost a year ago, and he still talks about it from time to time, how much he was turned on hearing me have fun in the next room.

 

In some ways, it was better -- because with we are all together, it can be a senses overload; what you're feeling and what you're seeing ... it's hard to concentrate on all of it (this coming from a girl who has problem walking and chewing gum ...).

 

If you try and it don't like it, there's no law that says that you can't go back to your preferred way of playing.

[couple4fun2821 15]

we have only been swinging for a short time and had about half and half same and separate rooms play. The later half of our swinging has been separate room and we like it that way. My wife is such a freakin screamer it makes it very had to pay attention to anything else if you are in the same room with her. We like separate rooms.

[NakedInSeattle 159]

We find that it depends on the people we're playing with. If they require one or the other (same or separate), then we're ok with it. Also, some folks are better enjoyed in the same room than separate. We let the chemistry and dynamics of the moment and the personalities of the people dictate which direction to go. It pays to be flexible (in more ways than one).

[Nudesailing 16]

We have only done same room because she feels more comfortable with me around and even though i would like to try different rooms, it will only happen when she is comfortable with it.

[couplewanting50 65]

Some more comment on separate room play.

[socolais 696]

When we tried separate rooms, we noticed that it took a strong trust and comfort factor in the playmates. For us, the level of trust made the decision very easy. Now that we've experienced it, it's just a matter of geography and separate states could be fun too. I don't know if one way can be described as better than the other - clearly an apples and oranges scenario, they're both good in their own way. Anyone want to try separate weekends????

[ShellyM 0]

Be careful in your decision with separate room play. Don't get me wrong, we love it and indulge in it when we trust the couple...but we were with one couple (not from this area and not in SB), and the hubby was a little more rough than I would have preferred. We later talked about it and all is cool, but I don't think he would have been that rough had Jay been in the room....so just be careful and make sure you really can trust the couple you do it with.

[IrvTxCouple 15]

couple4fun2821 said:

we have only been swinging for a short time and had about half and half same and separate rooms play. The later half of our swinging has been separate room and we like it that way. My wife is such a freakin' screamer it makes it very had to pay attention to anything else if you are in the same room with her. We like separate rooms.

 

My better half is one as well, when she really works up the neighbors have been known to check on us to make sure everything ok And her being that way is one thing that turns me on, even after all these years sometimes she can shock the hell out of me when she breaks the sound barrier unexpectedly.

 

 

ShellyM said:

Be careful in your decision with separate room play. Don't get me wrong, we love it and indulge in it when we trust the couple...but we were with one couple (not from this area and not in SB), and the hubby was a little more rough than I would have preferred. We later talked about it and all is cool, but I don't think he would have been that rough had Jay been in the room....so just be careful and make sure you really can trust the couple you do it with.

 

This is one reason we haven't had a separate room experience yet, though we have discussed it but no conclusion yet. Since we are exhibitionists and voyeurs, seeing others playing while watching us raises the turn on level a few dozen notches.

 

She is extremely sensitive and damages easily (that's the only real way to put it), even I have to check myself sometimes because she can't handle it very rough if she isn't ready. ; and it takes her a while to build up to the point that "anything goes".

 

I am interested in separate room play, but till she is ready it will probably never happen. And if/when it does, it will come as a surprise, because even though we have rules things change based on our comfort level.

 

And I guess that is the real point of this long winded post Only progress with what you are comfortable with, but playing and experimenting is just half the fun of this lifestyle.

[willyoats 324]

We have done both for many years. Each has advantages and disadvantages. For her, my presence is a distraction. Since she doesn't care about watching me with another women, she can really get into it more if I am not around. For me, since I love to see my wife enjoying sex with another man, I generally prefer to be with her. It seems like I feel I might miss something if I am not with her.

 

However, if the woman I am with is really special, it's gotta be separate rooms. I forget about that fact that I might be missing something if I don't see my wife getting laid. I'm having too good a time!!

 

Once at a Chicago convention, there were so many people that there were two hotels involved. Then we not only did separate rooms, we did separate hotels. That was really fun, but as someone said above, it requires a level of trust that many folks can not muster.

[couplewanting50 65]

Once at a Chicago convention, there were so many people that there were two hotels involved. Then we not only did separate rooms, we did separate hotels. That was really fun, but as someone said above, it requires a level of trust that many folks can not muster.

 

That is pretty hot. It manages to be somewhere between playing separately and playing alone, in feel. It could be a fun transition from playing separately to playing alone.

 

 

Grrr....

[willyoats 324]

I never before thought about the difference between playing separately and playing alone, but there is a difference, isn't here? We have done both at various times, and I guess that most of the time I prefer separately because afterwards we can get together quite quickly to trade stories about the experience with the other partner (and for another go with each other, which I always want!).

 

When we have done it alone, it is many hours before we are together again, and in the meantime some of the lustre has worn off. Next week I will have an alone experience while my wife in in Europe. That won't be the same as if she were here to be with me shortly after the other woman goes home.

 

I'd be curious to know if anyone has an opinion about whether a swinging experience apart like I am about to have next week is the same as swinging or is more like an affair.

 

By the way, my wife is completely comfortable with the situation and is actually quite friendly with the other woman. I am just curious if other people have similar experiences and are OK with the idea.

[ShellyM 0]

Playing in separate rooms means you have 2 couples, both at the same location but just in different rooms. Playing alone means its just you and the other wife, and your spouse is either with the other person at an entirely different location or just not there where you are.

[bethncole 49]

The idea of separate room swinging is probably the best for newbies. Having sex with a new person and watching your partner with someone else are two overwhleming events and are taken in easier if done one by one.

[prettylady 221]

Right now we are same room. I like it that way, and have no immediate intentions on changing that.

 

I enjoy watching Dog pleasing another woman and in turn pleasing him. You can learn new things from watching as well.

 

Like I saw Dog react a way I have never seen him react, that night I leant a new stunt (still learning, deep throat takes practice, not for the weak of stomach...as I have found out ).

 

There is also a connection that maybe lost if Dog wasn't there. I know the closer I am to climax the more turned on he gets. I have also felt the same reaction in playmates. The closer the Mrs gets to climax the closer the Mr. seems to get. Almost like they are feeding off one another.

 

I find that sexy, that within their own pleasure they are still strongly connected.

 

But you never know were your next adventure is going to take you.

[The Fuse 1,012]

The idea of separate room swinging is probably the best for newbies. Having sex with a new person and watching your partner with someone else are two overwhleming events and are taken in easier if done one by one.

I respectfully disagree. It wasn't that long ago that Mr. Fuse and I were new to swinging. My point of view is that when you're with a new partner for the first time in who knows how long (fifteen years for us), and you're thinking it will be okay for your SO to do the same, and you're embarking on this experience as a couple, that doing it together is the way to go...really a no brainer.

 

We were always most concerned with how the experience would affect us as a couple, as opposed to it simply being about sex with someone else, tantalizing as that was. Having him in the same room with me was absolutely necessary for me, and for him as well.

[couplewanting50 65]

I respectfully disagree. It wasn't that long ago that Mr. Fuse and I were new to swinging. My point of view is that when you're with a new partner for the first time in who knows how long (fifteen years for us), and you're thinking it will be okay for your SO to do the same, and you're embarking on this experience as a couple, that doing it together is the way to go...really a no brainer.

 

We were always most concerned with how the experience would affect us as a couple, as opposed to it simply being about sex with someone else, tantalizing as that was. Having him in the same room with me was absolutely necessary for me, and for him as well.

 

What we learn from your remarks, and those you were quoting, is that different things work for different people, and when you throw in... different times, you get quite a mix of what works and what is preferred.

 

But then, isn't that part of what makes swinging interesting?