To Kiss or Not to Kiss

[DKent 15]

I was curious, not being involved in the Lifestyle other than in my fantasies at the moment...who amongst you like to kiss the total stranger you're banging crotches with, and who saves that most intimate of practices for the SO? It seems that it might be undesirable at times to kiss that person you just met, even though sex with them is fun. Comments?

[ohsobad 15]

Very interesting question... I was just wondering that myself.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We kiss... It was the first of many rules to go.

[rpu3 630]

We both kiss. Never was a rule, just seems more awkward to me to not kiss, actually. YMMV, of course.

[Spoomonkey 421]

We had the rule of "no kissing" for about a minute... Of course, kissing wound up being the first thing we did in the lifestyle.

 

We love to kiss as a couple, and in playing with others, it just seemed the right thing to do. We've met couples that don't and have played with them. But it is probably not something we'd do again. We respect the rule - and understand the rule - but it is just too hard to remember it when you are with someone.

 

And it feels awkward.

 

Spoomonkey

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Kissing a total stranger?

 

I'd rather start at the top...right on their lips.

 

For us, we couldn't imagine getting to the other body parts without kissing. If I couldn't kiss it would feel clumsy...like trying to walk in shoes that were three sizes too big.

 

Once we met a couple privately, spent a couple hours with them at dinner and decided to invite them back to our place to play. It was about an hours drive to our home. We sat around in the living room with our drinks, moving towards the sex, when they hit us with their "no kissing" rule. The night ended right there.

 

They hadn't mentioned their no-kissing rule in their profile and our profile specifically mentions that we're real big on kissing!

 

Turning down sex at that point may sound harsh on our part, but we just lost our appetite then and there. We think of it this way, we wouldn't have asked someone to meet us if they had a specific rule that didn't mesh with our own guidelines and we wouldn't try to change their play style for us. We felt we'd been mislead and that's what took the zip out of the meet.

 

Our feeling is, if you decide not to kiss, that's fine, just let people know well in advance.

 

LM

[NakedInSeattle 159]

We feel you can tell how good a lover someone is by how they kiss. It's been a pretty good indicator. Lousy kissers make lousy lovers.

[Alura 2,775]

We've always kissed but we've never had sex with strangers, either.

 

Alura

[socolais 696]

I can't imagine good sex without lots of sloppy kisses - anywhere and everywhere

[good times 991]

We are with the majority here, we kiss. In fact, our rule is, if a couple has a no kissing rule, we wouldn't play with them at all.

[swyngtyme 16]

When my wife and I were first discussing what our rules were going to be, I was nervous, and I suggested that I might want to make "no kissing" a rule. She said that immediately made her think of that movie, Pretty Woman, and made her feel like a whore. So, no such rule with us, quick decision.

[IrvTxCouple 15]

Everyone is a bit different, and we are no exception. I'm a kissing man, I love to kiss. It helps me guage the lady I'm kissing to see how much fun I'm going to have.

 

My lady however, doesn't care to kiss that much. She will kiss her partner but she isn't sloppy about it like I am. However, she has a crutch too... she's a screamer and can't if she's liplocked with someone

[Guest MrsVan]

MrVan and I never understood this rule that some have in place but each to his or her own. I guess for us we both are very intimate people and feel that kissing is just the a way to get things started. facelick When MrVan and I are with another couple we do kiss and that usually happens alot first before we go further. Kissing for us is something that we do not feel we need to reserve for each other. We know that our kiss together is more passionate and more powerful between us than with the other couple that we play with because more feelings and emotions go into it. Whereas with couples it does not phase us and we would prefer to be with another couple that does kiss and does not have the "no kissing rule".

 

MrsVan

[Chip_n_Muffy 16]

Kissing is part of the overall experience. To not kiss would leave a part of it behind. I think I maybe understand the "no kissing" rule in that it reserves something intimate for a couple that is just theirs, but honestly, sex is pretty intimate too. I almost think I would rather soft swap with kissing than full swap without. Leaving something out at the start of the night would skew the rest of the evening.

 

Chip

 

BTW, if the preceding doesn't make sense to you, don't worry. I was merely thinking out loud ....

[graygo98 148]

It seems that it might be undesirable at times to kiss that person you just met, even though sex with them is fun. Comments?

 

 

This seems so bizzarely backwards to me!

[prettylady 221]

I agree with gauging a playmate with a kiss.

You really can tell alot from a kiss. I am more intrested with how aggressive a playmate kisses. If it is my first kiss with him and he goes all out trying to taste what I had for supper that evening the question comes up, will he be respectful if he tries something I am not ready for.

My first good experience with a swing couple had the Mr. ask first if I wanted him to kiss me. That spoke volumes about his respect for me, and he is the only playmate that I trust completely. If he asked me to stand on my head close my eyes and ask no questions about the buzzing sound I was hearing, I may think that strange but I would trust him, just because he took the time to introduce himself slowly and intimatly(sp?). Trust is huge with me.

Slow and intimate I really don't think can be done when the first contact you have is bumping uglies.

Your friend,

Prettylady

[Tia Vampire 167]

I (the female half) loves to kiss, but my fiance does not like to kiss a smoker. If the first kiss is smokey, then no more kissing for him. He says the taste is awful. He won't even kiss me until I brush my teeth or wash my mouth out with scope.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

The "no kissing rule" was brought up during our initial rules discussion when we were discussing the Lifestyle and didn't even make it to the end of the conversation before it was thrown out. We both agreed it would just feel so awkward, like running the bases backwards on a baseball diamond. Whether it is simply social conditioning, familiar habit, or something else, some things just seem to have a natural progression and to try to envision doing it differently would feel very strange, almost robotic, at least for us.

 

Given that, we both agreed we would be hurt if the other exchanging deep, emotional "soul kisses" with another. Granted, a subjective rule, but we both agreed we would easily know it when we saw it, either as an observer or participant. We aren't worried about it though since we agreed that to even get to a point where one of us could feel that kind of deep emotional connection with someone else, it would come as no surprise at that point. There would have to be some very serious relationship issues between us, and if those kind of issues were present, they would have revealed themselves long before then and we wouldn't be in the Lifestyle anyway since it is something we do for fun as a couple.

 

Another couple's no-kissing rule would be a no-go for us. Everybody is entitled to their rules and what works for them, just wouldn't be compatible with us.

[Jamie&Kieth 36]

Kissing is part of sex, ergo we kiss, besides I enjoy it it a lot!

 

Karen

[xxoticangel 99]

We started out as strictly "No kissing". That changed a couple of years ago. The only rule we have left is same room.

[Spoomonkey 421]

I think it is interesting how overwhelming the "pro-kissers" are right now. I remember when there were more people in the "no kissing" group...

 

Interesting how these things come and go cycles...

 

Spoomonkey

[redeye69 8]

wouldnt that take the intimacy out of it i couldnt imagine not kissing and carresing the person or persons i would eventualy be having sex with

[purpletiger 25]

DKent,

 

If I read your question correctly, you think kissing is the most intimate of practices? To each his own, but like everyone else here (so far), we consider kissing the starting point before going further. In fact, it may never go further, but kissing sure does make it fun.

 

I think there are a lot more intimate practice than kissing! IMHO.

[WeMayTryIt 120]

DKent,

 

If I read your question correctly, you think kissing is the most intimate of practices? To each his own, but like everyone else here (so far), we consider kissing the starting point before going further. In fact, it may never go further, but kissing sure does make it fun.

 

I think there are a lot more intimate practice than kissing! IMHO.

Yeah..I've never heard of a friendly "peck" between the cheeks...

 

We agree with the statement that not kissing would be too robotic and mechanical.

[ShellyM 0]

Everyone has their own comfort zones and rules. With Jay and I, we do not play with couples or singles who have the no kissing rule. Kissing is just essential to both of us, we LOVE it. But hey, as long as you are up front from the beginning and leave it to the other couple/single to decide its up to you. Shelly

[LFM2 1,482]

Like a lot of couples, this was one of our rules that flew out the window in about a nanosecond. We love to kiss. It's wonderful and gets the feelings flowing and we just think it's sooo much fun!

[LOL_OMG 130]

When we first started we probably never got to the no kissing rule because we ran out of ink, or paper, heh. Now we have two rules, all parties must have teeth(Inserted), and no one younger than Mrs. Lol's daughter.

 

Mr. Lol

[cubnamy1995 124]

For us, we just can't imagine the conversation:

 

"Now honey, feel free to slobber all over his dick all you want, but don't kiss him!"

 

Seriously, half of the fun for me is watching the girls kiss. I love that

 

But alas, the Mrs. says I am better at kissing the lips she doesn't talk with, so I just go with the flow...

[LOL_OMG 130]

For us, we just can't imagine the conversation:

 

"Now honey, feel free to slobber all over his dick all you want, but don't kiss him!"

 

Seriously, half of the fun for me is watching the girls kiss. I love that

 

But alas, the Mrs. says I am better at kissing the lips she doesn't talk with, so I just go with the flow...

 

Amen to the first, and sort of an amen to the second. what I mean by that is to have two women working over your shaft, then decide they want to kiss is very good....and very not good at the same time. Talk about the brain going yeah, no, yeah no at the same time.

 

Mr. Lol

 

Back to the post, it seems a bit redundunt after a while to say 'we will kiss no others'.

[Tybee Swing 286]

...who amongst you like to kiss the total stranger you're banging crotches with, and who saves that most intimate of practices for the SO? It seems that it might be undesirable at times to kiss that person you just met, even though sex with them is fun. Comments?

 

If I'm interested enough to have sex with somebody, why would I find it undesirable to kiss them? Kissing is an important part of sex and sexual foreplay for both my husband and I. We both get very turned-on with kissing. We don't think of kissing as "that most intimate of practices" - it's part of an overall satisfying experience. Not kissing would be the equivalent of having a "no touching with hands" rule. How awkward would that be? Sex in swinging isn't just "banging crotches", to us. It's a complete experience involving all of the physical senses. We are into sensual sex. We avoid the couples who seem to think swinging sex should be fast/hard/crude and lacking in sensuality, to set it apart from what they have together.

 

Some people compare their own powerful, emotional reactions that they share as a couple when they have sex together, with what sex in swinging is like, and they start striking all sorts of things off the list, based on this. The truth of the matter is that you can do all of the same physical things with other people, and not feel emotionally or intimately bonded with them. You can kiss, caress, and be very passionate in sex with others, but not feel all of those loving feelings that you feel when you do the same things with your beloved. It's not the kissing vs. not kissing, it's about the relationship.

[Sico_tiko 17]

almost with all the the couples who i enjoyed time with them we kissed, actually it add something really strange to the intercourse some kind of excitment