Family members in the lifestyle...

[MagicEnigma 16]

Its been touched on a couple of times, but how many people in the lifestyle have family members that swing, regardless of if they know you do or not? How do you handle having a child that does, and does it make you uncomfortable knowing it, do you ever tell your kids that you swing, or does it stay off-topic regardless of their age?

[OhioCouple 40]

I had good reason to believe that may oldest brother may have been a swinger and as close as I was to him, maybe at some point we would have touched base on it.

 

The rest of my relatives, now way, no how would I tell them or want them to find out. Especially not my children. Should they ever come close to firguring something and outright ask me, I would have to tell them that it is a personal issue and something that I don't feel that we should be sharing. Then I would probably have to give them "The Look", which they know means "Drop It".

 

Lori

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My brother and his wife are swingers. It was probably our openness (my husband and mine) with them that got them into the lifestyle.

[Quin 17]

My brother and my sister-in-law swing. They're in Florida, I'm in Ohio...so it's really not a problem running into them.

 

Jim's sister and brother-in-law are swingers also. They are within my swing circle and very, very good friends of mine. In fact, they introduced us. This has been a wee lil problem because Jim really isn't all that interested in being at get togethers where his sister might be. I can understand that, BUT this is *my* group that I've been hanging with for 14-16 years. We've been clubbing it or going to his swing circle activities...but I'm missing my friends and this is going to have to come to a happy resolution somehow real soon!!

 

If my daughter wants to swing...that's on her...I don't want to know about it.

 

Quin

()()

[MagicEnigma 16]

In my case, I’d have to be able to even believe my parents would be able to swing. Generally I’m not sure they’ve had sex more than three times that I can prove. So that isn’t anything I’d have to worry about. I’m a long time from worrying about any children I have being in the lifestyle, though I’d probably be hypocritical to think they shouldn’t if they want to.

 

I don’t have a brother to worry about, but I could see not wanting to see one in a club or something. My sister knows I swing, and isn’t freaked out by it. I’m not sure there is much we’ve kept from the other. If I were at a club and saw my sister across the room, I’d be surprised, but I’m not sure it would make me jump up and run for the door. The idea of running into her at a club doesn’t bug me the way the idea of running into a brother or parent does. I may have an aunt in the lifestyle but I have no way of confirming it outside of asking her, and I’m not sure I could do that.

[p_cnaz 15]

Our children know we swing. Do we discuss it with them NO WAY!!! Our oldest daughter lives across country so we don't see her much, but we talk alot and she never says anything about it, but I know she knows because a long time friend got drunk one night and told her daughter which was our daughters best friend. Our daughter told us what she said, we never admitted a thing and the subject was dropped.

 

Our son and youngest daughter still live with us (well our son was moved out 3 days ago.... ) but our son lets us know that he knows, but no matter what he says we will not discuss it with him and our youngest doesn't say anything about it, but I'm pretty sure she knows being that her bother knows.

 

We don't like the fact that they know, but they are all grown adults and it is very hard to keep something like this from them no matter how hard you try, we just make it known that it is not a topic for discussion.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

My sister knows that I have been in the lifestyle for many years.

 

She rolls her eyes and it is a great source of amusement for her.

 

For the life of her she just can't understand the attraction. She has a perfectly good husband and she looks at it like the kid that has a bag of jelly beans but just has to have a crunchy bar too. I told her its more like the kid has a bag of jelly beans but finds another kid with cruncy bars and they both share them......she kinda had no come back...lol...but she still thinks its silly.

 

John.

[fun_pairTX 26]

Oldest son knows we swing, we know he and his wife do as well. The chances of us colliding at a function are low as we run in quite different circles age wise. No one else is aware, and it isn't the type of thing that would come up in a dinner conversation.

[Maine 15]

My friend swings and she has a son ans he just thinks his mom is a player lol

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Originally posted by Maine

My friend swings and she has a son ans he just thinks his mom is a player lol

 

That doesn't sound real good. I'd rather be thought of as a swinger than a player, if player means cheater. Maybe he should be made aware.

 

John.

[Maine 15]

I think player in this situation meant going out with a guy each or every couple weeks not cheating

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

OH, shes not married, i understand..sorry.

John

[Maine 15]

lol it's okay. Her son was 13 at the time i'm not sure if her older kids know or her son yet..

 

Maine

[austxmark 41]

Both our daughters know we swing. My oldest daughter also swings with her husband. My parents were swingers. My two sisters are swingers. My brother does not swing but he and his wife are always trying to get me to "play" with them when they are drunk so I suspect. I do not play with them for the record. So it runs in the family. I know about everyone but no one else knows. For some reason they tell me. Our kids talk to their mom about the detail, but not me.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

My 17 yr old daughter watches and follow my posts on here by the way. She thinks its different but the younger generation has a sexual attitude that makes my generation look like 1950 geeks. Without divulging her personal information she has a maturity level that makes any guy that thinks he can just get into her pants feel like the dumbass from hell.

 

Her girlfriends are basically the same way. As far as swinging goes, her friends all are very liberal in sexuality but not easy lays. They love to tease and when they get a relationship I am amazed at how they can have sex in the same room, or if its just a sexual relationship they use protection. They think swinging is for the older crowd and are humored just like my sister.

 

I feel proud that I can actually be honest with her about my ways of thinking though. Of course at her age she'd know anyhow. If you have a 17 year old unless you totally seperate your lives from them they absolutely know.

 

One of her girlfriends jokes that her parents screw with the neighbors all the time and think neither set of kids are aware.

 

Her parents smoke pot too. She got caught with some and her parents went through the roof. When she disclosed that she knew they did it they had absolutely NO comeback.

 

I told her that her pot smoking would screw up her life because the authorities are so tough on it. She actually listened to me because she knows I'm not hypocritical about it. I didn't quit because I didn't like it. I quit because I didn't want to lose a career and a life over some damn weed that I can do without.

 

Thank god I quit drugs a long time ago, cuz Id go through the roof too.

 

Sex with responsibility and wisdom is just a healthy thing. Sex with controlling attitudes or hiding it is dangerous. In any degree, consensual, honest sex is a good thing. It is no longer thought of as strictly for reproduction, of course our dogs knew that before the puritans did. I had a dog that humped cats. Now, Im not that bad but sex is defininitaley fun. And my daughter knows I know. She has every guy that comes around wrapped around her little finger as it should be at her age.

 

John

[MagicEnigma 16]

I just couldn't imagine being as open with my parents, or their being open with me. At whatever point I do have a family I hope I am able to keep sex on the table as something my kids can talk about comfortably. I know if things had been different I could have come out of my childhood pretty messed up about sex. I don't consider myself better than anybody else because of the way I've explored sex. But I think its given me a perspective on things that lets me think more rationally about it than some people do. I think there is one camp in this world that fears even talking about sex, out of fear it will consume people entirely. Then there is the camp I consider myself in. I think having been as open and free about finding out what I like, doing what I want to do, that the opposite has happened. I really believe I think about sex less and let it effect my day-to-day life much less now that it is so fully weaved into it. I've been able to enjoy sex, but gained the ability to put it back on a little shelf and move on with my life. I simply don't worry about it anymore. I don't think every person needs to do as many things as I have, but I think almost everybody could gain from having more relaxed feelings about sex in this world.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

By request and from some recent discussion (my brother showing up around here again) I thought I would bump this back up.

[Bama0468 93]

I just cause trouble no matter where I go.... My sister and I assume her pet know My wife and I swing,

[staman 15]

"They think swinging is for the older crowd and are humored just like my sister."

 

how old exactly is the "older crowd"?

[WesternSwing 504]

My step-brother and his wife have been in poly relationships in the past, and I think they share amongst a small group of friends from time to time. I know for certain my mom and dad had an open relationship. Mrs. WS and I are pretty sure her dad has been in a poly-like relationship with some long time friends of his. He's been single for 30 years and he's spent allot of time with this couple over most of them. He also knows about us, as does my step-brother and his wife, but my dad doesn't know, though I think he suspects.

 

Mr. WS

[aklovers 19]

This is definitely not the way I thought I would become so close to my brother (Hold on....). Him and his wife were having extramarital affairs, and eventually came to the same conclusion that swinging was for them. So now they have never been happier, and we have never had so much to talk about. He started by asking if we had ever had a threesome, well by then we had been in the lifestyle for 4yrs. The only problem now is that we have to constantly ask "So who you talking to?" We live in a small town, and couples are limited. Doesn't help that we are only 2yrs apart so we are also looking at the same prospective couples.

Glad I am not the only one with this in the family.

 

MrsAK

[personal416 71]

We wouldn't be surprised if P's daughter knew her mom was swinging, and don't think she would judge us, even though she jokingly calls us Dorks when we have "PG-rated" cuddling on the couch. She knows how women get beads, and that her mother has a few dozen hanging in our bedroom after a night at a club.

 

Her son probably knows by now too. A short time ago we got a message from her son's best friend (on an swinger site) that he found our profile and had always fantasized about P and wanted to see her in action. Since P had changed his diaper as a baby, after she got done laughing, a very kind response thanking him for the humbling flattery was sent, letting him know that it wasn't a good idea. We've not heard back from him, but have to assume he's talked to her son. {shrug}

 

None of my family knows, but I'd be more likely to share with my sisters than my brothers.

 

Although not family, finding out that a former boss I got along well with knew I was swinging took a "moment for pause"..... I saw the same profile viewing ours on AFF over a period of several months and it was located a few hours away where I used to work/live. When I asked if our paths had crossed, he says "Could be B, could be. Can you keep a secret?" Intuitively, I knew who it was before he said, but was a bit awkward.