Is a commune feasible?

[NatureLovers 15]

How about a step past polygamy? Like 3 or 4 couples working together for a common goal.

 

Ask yourself this: Why is it that various ethnic cultures, prosper in America?

 

It is because they all work together!!

 

Americans have lost the will to be a community, and have traded that for independence and self sufficiency.....not bad things. However they are not working. People are struggling with day to day life, living week to week. Arguing over finances, and other trivial things in life.

 

Do you believe that 2 couples, 3 or 4 couples could work together for a common goal? Could (up to) 8 minds set aside independence and count on each other to meet all of each others needs? (Sex is a part of it) Sex should be open and even a loving relationship formed.

 

For example; I am a contract engineer, and when I am away on contract, it would be nice to know all my wife's needs are cared for when I am away.

 

A community account would cover financial matters and so on...

Is it just a dream? or is it possible?

 

We are going to find out...we just bought land in Kentucky and are actively seeking couples that would work with us in a common goal. To make life a little easier.

 

We would love to hear your comments.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

NatureLovers said:

A community account would cover financial matters and so on...

Is it just a dream? or is it possible?

What you're describing is a commune. They were a dream (and social experiment) that a number of people tried in the 60's and 70's. Do some research and you'll probably find lots written about communes.

 

If there are any around today, I've not heard about them.

[2fromNM 15]

I would suspect that you'd find, in that community, a small cross section of society as a whole. There would be people who are willing to work hard at it and make it successful and then there are those who are content to do very little and benefit from the work of others.

 

It is easy to say that those members will be expelled from the group, but emotions and friendships will prevent this being quite that easy. Just my take on it, anyway.

[avid 134]

There are many types of intentional communities:

 

https://www.ic.org/

 

None of them indicate that they are interested in being a sexually sharing community, but I would imagine that it happens anyway.

 

I couldn't do it - too many rules!

[ncmd_couple 597]

NatureLovers,

 

Theoretically, yes, such a community or “group” could be successful. The reality? I don’t really think so. One thing that I have learned over the years is that you should never overestimate people. I’m a lazy self centered bastard. Most people are even though they don’t acknowledge the truth. Does that mean that I won’t work hard and be successful and jump through hoops to make others that I care about happy? Nope. But it means that I do so because I want to. And I do so of my own free will.

 

But having been in many group relationships, such as part of a crew of a warship at sea, the reality is that people won’t always willingly do what is best for the entire group. Even though they willingly joined that group.

 

America started off with our first colony based upon that theory that you are looking at. They had to ditch it after they all almost starved to death that first winter.

 

I think that is one of the reasons that swinging has taken off since the early 70s. It acknowledges the requirement of a strong central core couple, but allows the freedom for stronger relationships, and the joys that come with them.

 

The communes of the 60s and early 70s were as much a failure as our forefathers experienced over 200 years before…

[celtic239 297]

I wish you the best of luck in Kentucky but your success will really depend on how you state the "common goals" to be achieved and have everyone agree on the means to achieve those goals. The reason why America achieved her greatness wasn't because it was caught up in providing for the common good but it allowed the original immigrants the autonomy to live their lives independent of others through a specific form of government.

There are inherent problems with your type of organization. One need look no further than the organization called SYNANON in California. It started out as an organization founded by an ex-alcoholic to help drug addicts in the 60's. It eventually became a major corporation and its founder turned it into a cult demanding from the members that they swap their wives.

[ShellyM 0]

Yes I agree, you are describing a commune. Its funny, a friend of mine and I were just discussing this last week. There was a town she was telling me about that had the houses, normal houses except they did not have kitchens or living areas. They all open up to an open courtyard and there is a separate building that serves as the kitchen and activities area. One family has kitchen duty, so you only have to cook once a week and I think she said you fend for yourself on 1 night out of the week. Anyways, sounds wonderful in theory. Heck, it sounds good even to me. However. They ran into issues because as most people who work in offices knows, you always have that ONE that does not believe in pulling their own weight....so there are the others who do it until they get sick of it and then things fall apart. Nice idea though.

[TheDeal 117]

I think it could be accomplished in a very small group, like maybe two to four couples max. It's hard enough just having two folks that match up and feel equal about things. I do want this however, and us and our playmates (best-friends) speak of forming the compound quite often. My wife is willing to go as far as a couple of houses next door to each other and maybe a common back yard. She says, it's never a good idea to put two females living under the same roof. As a guy, I know better than to question the wisdom of a goddess.

[dayhiker 83]

I lived in a commune of sorts in the 70's. We had 15 Christian guys. There was no sex issues. or even male/female issues. But I really like it. We all lived in a really big house. Shared the work, tho we did keep things quite simple. None ever wanted to back it a rule based living situation. But I've read about so many of those that its hard to imagine that many can avoid making more and more rules. We also had rent to pay, but there was no pooling of our money. Finances can be a big issue as well. The house was together for over 2 yrs.

 

But I'd like to give a commune a try with some people that are gracious towards other people.

[NatureLovers 15]

Thank you everyone for your comments.......I do understand that it is a commune. However, I speak more of doing this due to the changing of our American state. when America began, pilgrims settled here and worked together to make the community prosper. Because they had to to survive. I believe we are coming to that reality in America, and the bulk of America sits behind a PC, Game System, or TV. And is allowing it to happen Because they are content in their INDEPENDANT world. I would suggest that people (with an open mind) watch a video called (9/11 Mysteries)....Then ask where the power of the world is. Do you truely believe you are anything more than a pawn in a very large game. Concider this.....in Britain the "Lords, Duke's and Baron" used peasents to till the soil and feed the livestock in trade for food and shelter on their land......Today we work for the Corporations, who give us scraps from their table. Which we have to use to drive our car to and from work, buy food form them, pay fees on insurance, licsence and so on...........search this please before you responde.........."Who controls the Federal Reserve in America" It is not the American People....OR our Government....

[dkswingers04 15]

I have given this some thought myself....I think that money issues in the US is going to force more people to think along these lines in the future, just to survive.

 

I think it would be wonderful if you could find 2 or 3 couples that could all get along...but,.....(yes there always seems to be a but)....it is hard to find couples to swing with that you both get along with to be friends...one night stands is one thing, but to become life long swingers or roomies is something else...

 

I wish you luck and hope you will keep us posted on how things work out.

[Nudesailing 16]

Communes did not work in 60s and 70s because no matter how good it sounds, think about how hard it is to keep a marriage together and then multiply that by number in community.

 

We knew several people who tried it but none lasted more than a year.

[havefuninsun 122]

It's hard enough to find ONE couple that you really, really click with that are true friends with benefits ... lucky to find TWO. When we first started this, what we said was, "wouldn't it be cool to find 3-5 couples who all get along and we all play within our circle?"

 

That was two years ago.

 

There are a LOT of folks who post here that are of that same mind set. And a few folks have been successful in assembling their circles (we're jealous! ). But, all that pimpin' ain't easy.

 

We still hold on to the dream, but realize that can't be our focus. However, there's a lot more ways of having fun. And we'll just keep "interviewing" folks ...

[TheDeal 117]

Yes, we thought the same thing. One to four or five couples all in the same circle. We also never really thought of it being any closer than just close friends. Really, true lasting relationships are ones that...well, last. Hard to have the same feelings about a couple, no matter how well every clicks, that you just met a month ago.

 

We have changed our minds about the multi-couple circle due to some long time friends becoming our first and only playmates. We also, have become even closer friends than we imagined for the play-circle. We have and are talking about what we are all calling; "the compound". I think that could work, but anymore than two couples and it's a risk. Hell, it's a risk the way we're going now! If anyone does go that route, make sure you form as an LLC to keep everyone protected, well at least legally.