Jump to content
cpl1355

Swinging safely without contraceptives?

Recommended Posts

Okay here's our situation. We've been in the lifestyle now for over 3 years and completely enjoy every aspect of it. However we are at a point in our lives/marriage that we are done having kids. My husband is planning on getting a vasectomy which eventually will lead me to abandon birth control pills that I have been religiously taking since I was 18.

 

While in the lifestyle we have always had the confidence that since I was on the pill and our play-partners always used condoms that we were significantly (yet not completely, lol)  protected from any chance of pregnancy.

 

We are now concerned about how this change for us will/would affect our ability to continue to swing.

 

We're looking for others out there who have gone through this and would like to know what you did to stay in the lifestyle? i.e. condoms and another form of contraceptives? If so, what? Or completely stopped playing?

 

Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post

Have you thought about having your tubes tied instead of him having a vasectomy?

 

I know there's other threads out there about birth control, but I had to go off the pill last year for medical reasons, and was UNHAPPY about it to say the least. My solution was to have an IUD. I picked this because the new IUD's have hormones in them that are released that keep your cycle regulated (which I was worried about). The incredible benefit is that my cycle has stopped! So no more having to schedule paydates around TWO women's cycles!! Horray!

 

If it were me, I'd be nervous playing with just condoms. How about using a diaphragm, too? That might be a lot less invasive, and I think you can insert it a bit before a playdate.

 

Good luck, and be safe out there!!! LOL

Share this post


Link to post

First of all, if swinging is your lifestyle don't change it, adapt it to your new situation.

 

Are you changing from a condom couple to a bareback couple? Even if Mr. has a vasectomy, won't he glove up just to be safe? Are you now worried about becoming pregnant? One change might be to have the guy still wear a condom and not cum inside you. How about other contraception alternatives?

 

Embrace your life and have fun.

Share this post


Link to post
Have you thought about having your tubes tied instead of him having a vasectomy?

 

I know there's other threads out there about birth control, but I had to go off the pill last year for medical reasons, and was UNHAPPY about it to say the least. My solution was to have an IUD. I picked this because the new IUD's have hormones in them that are released that keep your cycle regulated (which I was worried about). The incredible benefit is that my cycle has stopped! So no more having to schedule paydates around TWO women's cycles!! Horray!

 

If it were me, I'd be nervous playing with just condoms. How about using a diaphragm, too? That might be a lot less invasive, and I think you can insert it a bit before a playdate.

 

Good luck, and be safe out there!!! LOL

Yeah the Tubes Tied thing is not a route we want to go, (heck, I had the kids, so its his turn for the procedure! lol). That is what our main concern is, me playing with guys with just condoms and no protection for me. The choice for me to get off the pill is mainly for health reasons. ie., the long term effects of birth control pills as you get older. My husbands impending vasectomy allows me the opportunity to get off of them for good, but again we don't want to disrupt our participation in the Lifestyle. Never really thought about an IUD. May look into a diaphram, but seems like a lot of work?

Anyway thanks for your response.

Share this post


Link to post
beachguyz said:

First of all, if swinging is your lifestyle don't change it, adapt it to your new situation.

 

Are you changing from a condom couple to a bareback couple? Even if Mr. has a vasectomy, won't he glove up just to be safe? Are you now worried about becoming pregnant? One change might be to have the guy still wear a condom and not cum inside you. How about other contraception alternatives?

 

Embrace your life and have fun.

No, the concern really is for me not getting pregnant. We always use condoms with guys that I play with. Now with me getting off the pill I am really concerned about it. I am looking for perspectives from others on what they have alternatively used.

 

We're definitely not looking to get out of the Lifestyle, just looking for ideas on how to stay safe.

Share this post


Link to post

We are both fixed - fixed during our previous marriages. It has worked out quite nicely and has given us relative peace about that part of swinging.

 

If either of us weren't, I would worry about the failure rate of condoms. Just our luck, we'd always play with the couple where the wife was fixed - I was fixed, but my wife and the other husband were still "in the game" so to speak...

 

I already have three life long STDs (some people call them children) and don't want any more :lol: At least children don't itch...

 

It would seem a bit extreme to go get your tubes tied just to keep swinging, but if we were in your shoes it'd be something we'd consider. That sounds crazy, I know, but I can only say what would go through our heads. Even though it could not happen to us, just the thought of an unwanted pregnancy - especially with a playmate - is our worst nightmare...

Share this post


Link to post
Spoomonkey said:
We are both fixed - fixed during our previous marriages. It has worked out quite nicely and has given us relative peace about that part of swinging.

 

If either of us weren't, I would worry about the failure rate of condoms. Just our luck, we'd always play with the couple where the wife was fixed - I was fixed, but my wife and the other husband were still "in the game" so to speak...

 

I already have three life long STDs (some people call them children) and don't want any more :lol: At least children don't itch...

 

It would seem a bit extreme to go get your tubes tied just to keep swinging, but if we were in your shoes it'd be something we'd consider. That sounds crazy, I know, but I can only say what would go through our heads. Even though it could not happen to us, just the thought of an unwanted pregnancy - especially with a playmate - is our worst nightmare...

 

So in the case where your wife and the hubby were 'still in the game' what did your do for protection? was she already on the pill? Yes, the unwanted pregnancy with a playmate would be our biggest nightmare too, but the option of tying tubes is probably not something we would consider (too evasive). It would appear that our options at this point would be for me to remain on the pill or look into the use of a diaphragm. Not too hip on the diaphragm thing, but may not have any other choice.

 

Thanks for your input.

Share this post


Link to post
cpl1355 said:
So in the case where your wife and the hubby were 'still in the game' what did your do for protection?

 

That was hypothetical - just a "knowing our luck" type of thing...

 

We entered swinging (and marriage) after both of us had been fixed.

 

:)

Share this post


Link to post

Check out Novasure as well. Best thing I ever did for myself (and hubby). After having my tubes tied and going off the pill, I had awful, heavy periods. Every time we planned something, I would have one. Since I did Novasure, I have no more periods and no PMS. It will also make menopause a lot easier.

 

https://novasure.com/

 

If I had it to do over again, I would have done the Novasure instead of having my tubes tied.

 

Mrs. D

Share this post


Link to post
We're looking for others out there who have gone through this and would like to know what you did to stay in the lifestyle? ie., condoms and another form of contraceptives?, if so, what? or completely stopped playing?

 

I do not use birth control pills nor a diaphragm, etc. When we play, condoms are used. I also have tracked my cycle for the last 8 years, so I'm rather conscious of safe times versus not-safe times. Thus, if a condom actually managed to break (rather unlikely if used properly) or slip off, I'd know right off the bat what the odds are for a problem. Finally, the ultimate backup, and perhaps an unpopular opinion, I do carry emergency contraception with me (Plan B - available over the counter now, you just ask the pharmacist). Anyway, that's what I do.

 

At the end of the day I'm not out to complicate my life or anyone else's life with an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.

Share this post


Link to post
Finally, the ultimate backup, and perhaps an unpopular opinion, I do carry emergency contraception with me (Plan B - available over the counter now, you just ask the pharmacist). Anyway, that's what I do.

 

At the end of the day I'm not out to complicate my life or anyone else's life with an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.

Are you referring to the morning-after pill? Assuming you've never had to use that, what is the effectiveness of that pill?

Share this post


Link to post
Are you referring to the morning-after pill? Assuming you've never had to use that, what is the effectiveness of that pill?

 

I believe Plan B and the morning-after pill is one and the same. It can be taken up to 5 days after an "accident" or incident, so it should be renamed the "if you are lazy, you can take this up to 5 mornings after pill".

 

The effectiveness depends on the formula used. The progestin only version is 90% effective in preventing pregnancy. The combination version is up to 80% effective, depending on whose version of the various studies you read.

 

And no, I've never had to use that backup. It's not like I play that often to begin with, but I like having backup plans for my contingency plans.

Share this post


Link to post

We personally would never play with a woman who is fertile and not on at least BCP or an IUD. We have 3 children and Jay is shooting very live rounds. And although condoms are pretty safe ummm, things happen. I think most DEFINITELY other couples need to be made aware that you are not on any active forms of birth control before hand.

Share this post


Link to post

My sexy lady had her tubes tied many years ago due to a medical complication during pregnancy, it would probably kill her to get pregnant again. I got snipped not long after we started swinging because I sure as hell don't want any more kids!

Share this post


Link to post

I was fixed before we started swinging, but Mr.s GT wasn't and it was one of our main worries. After a couple of years and checking into IUD's and such, she finally had her tubes tied so now we are both fixed, no more worries in that regard.:)

Share this post


Link to post
BiloxiCouple said:
I've heard that the more you swallow the more the chance of pregnancy goes down. :D

 

Kind of like the flu shot. Wait....I got the flu shot, and now I have the flu.:(

Share this post


Link to post

Like your husband, I had the vasectomy. In my case, I still had live sperm for two months after the procedure, so you still need to be careful until the doctor clears you.

 

Wife has an IUD. She said it was somewhat uncomfortable when they put it in, but then you are good to go for 5 years I believe. She is very happy with it now.

Share this post


Link to post
Check out Novasure as well. Best thing I ever did for myself (and hubby).

Isn't it great Mr. D :EG: No more excuses :hahaha: I second this as well. Tam had it done last winter. Her OB/GYN had been suggesting it for a couple years as Tam had starting getting very heavy flows too. Well, as we were getting close to our Desire trip last spring, we realized she would start right at the beginning. So, she talked to her Doc about it and set it up (we had a few months yet before the trip). End result is no more flow :D Funny part was, the trip would have been her first period after the procedure. One day nekkid poolside, she has this horrified look on her face. She grabbed a towel and said "OMG.....I think I'm starting my period." She slinked off to our room to take care of it. She came back a short while later smiling. "Well.....it certainly felt like I was. But nothing to worry about." :) I know she kept a tampon handy though :lol: And a nice side effect is no more pregnancy worries from playing for either of us now.

 

Brett

Share this post


Link to post

Tubal ligation is 100% effective and gives you permanent peace of mind with respect to not getting pregnant. You don't have to do anything, remember anything, or count on someone else. I would strongly recommend that to anyone who is 100% sure they don't want to get pregnant.

Share this post


Link to post
Tubal ligation is 100% effective and gives you permanent peace of mind with respect to not getting pregnant. You don't have to do anything, remember anything, or count on someone else. I would strongly recommend that to anyone who is 100% sure they don't want to get pregnant.

 

In a perfect world, I would agree with you, as it is 99.5% effective (there are known reversals or failures which are acknowledged in the stats).

 

However, these are not free to many of us. My insurer will pay 80% - AFTER my $3000 yearly deductible (I've been to a doctor three times this year - I am nowhere near making the deductible). Planned Parenthood and other organizations charge anywhere from 1K to 2.5K for the procedure.

 

In my case, while we have a comfortable income, I'm not comfortable spending that kind of money simply to play safely via an invasive surgical procedure (it is more invasive than a vasectomy). I'm comfortable with the odds of properly used condoms, especially since condoms serve a secondary purpose of reducing the risk of STDs. Wish I didn't have obligations in my life so that I could simply spend 2K on a 99.5% guarantee, since I am childfree by choice. But I do, so given my age and my aforementioned backup plans, I'll stick with the condoms and keep paying the bills and into the retirement fund.

 

Again - I do agree with you in theory. It is 99.5% effective. Too bad many health insurers don't see the logic in investing in tubals (or even basic birth control).

Share this post


Link to post

In regards to rpu3's 99.5% success rate, I fall into that .5% of failures. My tubes were snipped just after the birth of my second child. It took 5 years for them to repair themselves. My doctor's response? 'Wow, you heal really well.' ::P: No, really?

 

So I went back on BCP for the first time in about 6 years...and hated every minute of it. Was on them for about a year, and then Jeff finally got snipped. That was in the spring of this year...and I'm happy, and he's happy that I'm not as bitchy anymore (when I'm on BCP, I have PMS all month and then am perfectly sociable for 1 week. lmao...also with the last ones I took, I hardly ever orgasmed and sex was pretty painful...:( ).

 

So we use condoms with our playmates, and all has been good. I have watched my cycle for years now, and we don't play all that often anyway.

 

Maria :kissface:

Share this post


Link to post

I can't go on the Pill for health reasons...so I basically rely solely on condoms.

 

As rpu3 said, condoms might not be 100% getting pregnant is not the end of the world (there are options) whereas contracting HIV is in many ways!

 

Pregnancy is a secondary concern...STIs are the first.

Share this post


Link to post

Never trust the guy that says I had a Vasectomy.

Yes he might have but when....it takes a while for sperm to clear out. even the lazy sperm can have its way with you and find yourself pregnant.

Share this post


Link to post
Never trust the guy that says I had a Vasectomy.

Yes he might have but when....it takes a while for sperm to clear out. even the lazy sperm can have its way with you and find yourself pregnant.

 

This is true for a time at least. Jay was supposed to have a v 2 weeks ago but the surgeon ended up having an emergent surgery and then strep throat hit town lol....but he will be getting one soon. The dr. told him about how long it takes in order for the sperm to stop going into the ducts. Even after the V though we have decided that he needs to glove up because of std's...however, I would be much more comfie with him going bareback with ladies we know well after the V. We have 3 children, had no problems getting pregnant with them and I cannot afford child support...and now that everyone wipes their own asses in this house I'm not raising any babies LOL.

Share this post


Link to post

I have been stupid at times and not used BC.

I know condoms do break on the guys.

 

How do you tell your husband Ooppps!!! I forgot to use BC during our last party...

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Wendans
      My fantasy has always been to watch my wife get fucked by another man. We have been with another woman before which is a whole story in itself that I’ll tell you about later.
       
      One night several years ago my wife and I had gone to a club. Not your ordinary club, but a good club for swingers and singles. The night had started out rather slow and we were not finding any action that I had hoped. My wife knows what she wants and that is what we go with. And that night we found what she wanted and it was such a great experience she knew she wanted to do it again. She had gotten fucked by a black guy and she had enjoyed it. So, when we got the chance, she wanted to try it again.
       
      Being at a swinger’s club isn’t really her thing, but fucking in front of people or listening to them fuck is a big turn-on for her. Since we don’t live close to any swingers’ clubs or anything of that nature, we don’t get many opportunities to do anything like this.
       
      A couple of years ago we got a chance to go to another club. Yes, one of those clubs. We were looking for a little fun and hoping to find something as good as the last time we were out. We talked to many people as the night went on and my wife was trying to figure out what we were going to be doing to have fun that night. There was a hot blonde that was interested in us and kept on grabbing my cock which my wife was loving because this was getting her going. My wife and I decided that this was not what we had in mind for tonight, so we just kind of let that slide and we went on to pursue something else. She said she would know it when she saw it.
       
      My wife had put a couple of drinks down and was feeling pretty good now. She was a little more daring and said she wanted to go change outfits like she did when we had been to a club previously. We had brought the very same sexy outfit that was see through, so she went and changed into it. When she came back out, there was not one guy's eyes on anyone but her. Even the women were looking on in awe. She is a beautiful woman that knows how to control a room.
       
      One guy came up to me and told me he was jealous. He said he would do anything to get to fuck my wife, but she just didn’t feel right with him, I guess. As we were standing around, in came this well-built younger black guy and I think she almost came right there. The look on her face was almost mind blowing. She got this horny grin and told me she was ready to start our night. As he walked by her, she gave him this dirty smile and took her hand and rubbed down by her cunt. He stopped walking and came over to her and asked if he could help her with anything. She just smiled and said that I think you already know what you can do. They danced around a little bit, but I could tell she couldn’t take it anymore, so she quickly unzipped his pants and took out his cock and grabbed it and lead him into another room like a dog on a leash.
       
      I stayed back a couple of minutes to give them some time to get to know each other. When I did finally get to the other room, they had already undressed and she was sucking his cock. It was larger than mine. Not much longer, but thicker. I could tell she liked it.
       
      My wife had picked a room where people would be able to watch if they wanted to. I stayed back in the wings and was kind of hidden so she really didn’t know I was even there.  As I watched my wife in action, I could tell she was enjoying every second of this guy’s cock. She was sucking it like there was no tomorrow.
       
      Now it was his turn to return the favor. He got his face down to her pussy and started licking like it was candy. She was turning red and I could tell she was already about to cum. She was squirming and shaking and he was getting her cunt all ready for his big shaft. But before he fucked her, he now spread her legs out and started fingering her pussy to the point that she started squirting fluids all over the sheet they were laying on. It was like the flood gates had opened up and all the juices were flowing.
       
      She finally had all she could take because I’m sure she had cum multiple times already and I could tell she just wanted to have him inside her. I heard her say to give me your big, black cock. He asked her if she wanted him to put on a condom and she told him no, she wanted to feel him inside her cunt.
       
      He took her and spread her legs wide and slowly inserted his bbc into her tight cunt. She told him to go slowly because she said it was so big that she needed to get used to it. After several minutes of the slow movement, she said she needed him to fuck her harder so he started to go full penetration into her dripping wet cunt. She was telling him how good his cock felt, and how she loved fucking him.
       
      They switched positions multiple times with her sitting on top of his cock and riding him like she has never ridden before. My wife took his whole cock inside of her as deeply as she could, rubbing back and forth and cumming time and time again.
       
      They finally switched back to missionary style and were fucking hard when I heard her say to him, she wanted him to cum in her pussy. She said she wanted to feel his cum drip out of her pussy all night long. When he heard her say that, he started to pick up the pace and finally started moaning and said he was about to cum. My wife was now cumming herself and as he shot his load inside of her, she started squirming and shaking with every pulse of his exploding cock. Her body was red from all of her orgasms, and I could tell she was getting worn out. They had gone for almost 40 minutes of nonstop action. Not to mention that all the other people that had gathered around to watch started going to other parts of the place as they had gotten a show that they would remember forever.
       
      When he pulled his now soft cock out of my wife, I could see the cum dripping down her ass. She was getting what she wanted, I guess. She would be able to feel his cum dripping out of her the rest of the night. But I didn’t realize that she was not done yet. She wanted more. My wife took his cock and started sucking on it again. I guess he was young enough that almost instantly he got hard and she took his cock and guided it into her cunt and said she needed more of his cum. He fucked her for another 10 minutes until he exploded with more cum inside my wife’s pussy again. Again, as I watched the cum drip down her ass, she was getting what she wanted. She was going to feel this the rest of the night.
       
      They both started cleaning up a little and I slowly came out of the crowd that had gathered. She saw me and gave me that dirty little smile she sometimes gets. My wife asked me if I had enjoyed her show. She said she needed to have a little more cum in her pussy tonight and she now wanted mine. Her new little friend just kind of sat back in the corner and decided to watch us.
       
      I knew I wouldn’t last long because I had almost cum multiple times just watching her. With some of the crowd still watching I got undressed, and slid my wet with pre-cum cock into my wife’s cum-loaded pussy. I fucked her until she started cumming. Her cunt convulsed so hard that it squeezed my cock and made me start to cum. I came in her pussy, mixing my cum with my wife’s new fuck buddies cum. I pulled my cock out and watched it all slowly slide down her ass. She got up and went over to our young fuck buddy and she gave him a long passionate kiss and said thank you for such a great time. He gave her one last little finger fucking and handed her a card of his if we were ever in the area again.
       
      He left after he got dressed and we got cleaned up and went out to the main room. I had multiple people including women and even the bartender say that my wife was one of the women they would like to fuck if they ever got a chance after seeing her in action. I guess I’m the lucky one here.
       
      Later that night when we were driving to our resort, she slipped her hand down pants and put her fingers in her pussy. She brought them out and rubbed them on my face. She smiled and said we gotta do this again sometime as we pulled into the parking lot to call it a night.
       
      And what a night it was.
    • By HotCplUk3040
      Ok so this may be a bit taboo and yes there are plenty of issues that come with this… but our conversation (and fantasies) revolve around swapping and sex in this fashion.
       
      It might sound silly but is this frowned upon in swinger circles? Would we be blacklisted or is there a place for this?
       
      We wouldn’t be sleeping around and maybe hope to find a regular couple or 2 to have this fun with, but as a general rule what’s the community’s approach to those coming in and looking to have bareback sex?
    • By njbm
      We are laying low, not due to covid but other reasons. But in talking to friends, we just don’t hear as much about house parties, etc.  Has covid subdued interest? Or are we jaded and/or over the hill?
    • By let's do it again
      I haven't seen this addressed here, so I was wondering if anyone has been scammed or attempted to be scammed while swinging? Now we have had single guys lie about having a partner or one couple wanted me to loan them a sizable amount of money. So has any swingers tried to blackmail or scam you?
×
×
  • Create New...