Swinging with Co-Workers?

[Tira 30]

We are completely new to the lifestyle and already face a (rather difficult) situation.

 

While browsing AFF we came across one of my co-workers and his wife's ad there Said co-worker works in the same office as me (literally right next to me), and we have a very good relationship.

 

The temptation is there to approach them, but my husband thinks that it is a bad idea to get involved with co-workers.

 

Any input?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

We are completely new to the lifestyle and already face a (rather difficult) situation.

While browsing AFF we came across one of my co-workers and his wife's ad there Said co-worker works in the same office as me (literally right next to me), and we have a very good relationship.

The temptation is there to approach them, but my husband thinks that it is a bad idea to get involved with co-workers.

 

Any input?

I agree with your husband. Bad idea to swing with your co-worker WHO SITS NEXT TO YOU EACH DAY.

 

Keep your relationship nice, keep work nice, KEEP YOUR JOB, by not swinging with them.

 

I'd go so far as to block them from seeing your profile to keep them from discovering you. Hopefully they already haven't.

 

LM

[purpletiger 25]

We ran into one of my co-workers at a party - I had an idea they may be there but she didn't have a clue. Ended up being one of the best times we've had.

 

I didn't sit close and only wish I knew her before that weekend

[lovinher 505]

Way too risky! Even if it goes well the first few times or there are never any issues between the four of you, given time, something will happen. Something as innocent as a slip of the tongue or an overheard comment could cause you a whole bunch of trouble. At some point co-workers will figure out something is going on, especially in an office. I'm sure there are plenty of success stories out there but there are plenty of lottery winners also.

Your husband is right.

[intuition897 2,179]

Outing yourselves to this coworker may be tempting - hell, I'm even tempted to say go for it! - but common sense tells us that where there is a relationship that is relatively permanent or non-negotiable (family, neighbours, co-workers, kids' friends' parents, etc) that would potentially be soured by their finding out or being propositioned by you, it's better to just leave that shit alone. Your only option if they freak out or turn to stalking you is to quit your job. Are you prepared to do that? If it's your neighbours, are you prepared to move? If it's your kids' friends' parents, are you prepared to explain to your kid why Little Johnny can't come over to play anymore?

[ncmd_couple 597]

Any relationship with a co-worker is fraught with danger.

 

I have worked with bosses that were banging their secretaries, everyone knew it.

 

I (with one very special exception because I have known her for many years before she worked for the same company, and there is no drama there) keep my personal life and my work life very separate. To do otherwise would be a disaster waiting to happen.

 

Block them so that they can’t see you and enjoy your personal life.

[Tira 30]

Thank you all for your help, after discussing the situation in detail, we have decided as well that the cons outweigh the pros by quite a bit, and it's just not worth the drama that might ensue.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

One more time...

 

No co-workers.

 

No friends.

 

No family, for those that have a hot in-law or a close cousin here in Mississippi..

 

No problems.

[purpletiger 25]

I would like to say I would never approach them at work. But, if you happen to run into them at a party or meet and greet, definitely stop by and say Hi! You never know what might happen;)

[ShellyM 0]

BAD BAD BAD IDEA.

Do not bring co-workers into your swinging unless

1. You don't care when the word gets leaked out

or

2. It doesnt matter when you are fired.

 

Remember, vanillas will not think that your sexual openness is funny. Even if they have a lover, they will NOT appreciate it at all.

[sweet_tna 680]

One more vote in the Bad Idea ballot box . . .

[undercovercpl 29]

I can tell you from experience....... DON'T DO IT!!! It will get really weird, it might take a few months but things at work will get really weird and uncomfortable.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Remember, vanillas will not think that your sexual openness is funny. Even if they have a lover, they will NOT appreciate it at all.

 

I must truly live in a different world. In my job I can get it hard. I can make a pass or play the field. I can show you how to come. Hell, I'll even make a proposition for you. You can get a cheap lay. You want a 3 way? Yep, right at work. Want to hop on it? Yes please!!! And I've got the biggest stick ever pushed in front of you. Sometimes it's good to be me:lol: That is just the tip of it.

[DBLPAR 35]

I'd go so far as to block them from seeing your profile to keep them from discovering you. Hopefully they already haven't.

 

LM

 

 

Long time lurker, first time poster. That is too funny. There's a local cpl on SLS that blocked us and I have no idea why. It just occured to me from reading this that maybe they know us. We have been spotted by a neighborhood cpl and that went over fine. Now I gotta go find them and figure out who the hell it is.

[WesternSwing 504]

I feel it also is a bad idea. If something was to go wrong at work between you and the coworker it could turn really ugly. Not just for getting exposed, but in our case it was a feeling of betrayal by the coworker. Here's the lowdown:

 

My wife took a job with a company owned by a swinger friend's parents. We met through swinging and had become good friends with them outside of sex also, and when Mrs. WS suddenly found herself unemployed they offered her a job.

 

A year or so later Mrs. WS wanted to leave for another company because of better pay. Our friends took it as a personal affront and much drama ensued for weeks afterward. The friendship has never been repaired.

 

You're bound to run into each other at a party sometime. I personally would just leave it until then. Then you can have a good laugh about it. But I would still not get involved with them physically.

 

Mr. WS

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I'd go so far as to block them from seeing your profile to keep them from discovering you. Hopefully they already haven't.

 

LM

Long time lurker, first time poster. That is too funny. There's a local cpl on SLS that blocked us and I have no idea why. It just occured to me from reading this that maybe they know us. We have been spotted by a neighborhood cpl and that went over fine. Now I gotta go find them and figure out who the hell it is.

Our first year into swinging we heard from three of our clients!

 

The first one didn't reveal to us that he was a client until later and we cut communication after that, before ever meeting.

 

The others who wrote to us we identified from their pictures and declined meeting without telling them the reason why.

 

So after those experiences we now block people we spot as clients.

 

LM

[cuzzeyesaidso 31]

You're bound to run into each other at a party sometime. I personally would just leave it until then. Then you can have a good laugh about it. But I would still not get involved with them physically.

 

Mr. WS

 

So then what's the difference? Let's say she approaches her co-worker at work in the break room or alone in the parking lot and mentions that they have the lifestyle in common, and they agree not to make any effort to hook up. How is that different from approaching her at a party, possibly half naked with some guy that is probably not her significant other, and saying Hi!!! If somebody knew what me and my wife were doing from our neighborhood or job I would prefer they spoke to me about it in a non-lifestyle environment ASAP rather than catching me in mid stroke and surpising the shit out of me.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

Well this has just happened to me at work. I was reading the profiles online on SLS when I recognized a members profile pictures and was shocked !

 

NOW What I asked myself...........so I mulled it around for a couple of days and then saw them online again and tried to IM them but they had already signed out. So I went to the office and emailed her to meet me for lunch. Which she agreed too. At lunch I proceeded to ask her if they are on SLS and she said yes hesitiantly with a shocked look on her face and I informed her I was too.

 

For me I felt taking the direct honest approach and being upfront with her about work being work and this being completely seperate was the best route to go. Since my situation could lead to more problems because of my relationship being the opposite of the "norm" that in and of it's self is a bigger problem potentially at work being part of a triad. (Our office is part of a huge corporation - we work in the headquarters and they are VERY conservative).

 

As for playtime - well obviously Mr. Menage is all a wiggle at the possibility and I don't mind knowing and sharing that we have the lifestyle in common with someone I work with but the potential to play leads me to overthink the "what if's" just a tad too much............

 

Her and Mr. Menage have chatted and get along great and are already talking about the Christmas party at work - since we have it at a casino and get a room with it for the evening about having some playtime...........we'll just have to see if and when things go that route how I'm feeling about it.......

 

I'll keep everyone posted............I don't do drama and I tend to be more then just a little direct and I would hope she feels the same about keeping this all very seperate.

 

The Other Mrs. Menage

[WesternSwing 504]

So then what's the difference? Let's say she approaches her co-worker at work in the break room or alone in the parking lot and mentions that they have the lifestyle in common, and they agree not to make any effort to hook up. How is that different from approaching her at a party, possibly half naked with some guy that is probably not her significant other, and saying Hi!!! If somebody knew what me and my wife were doing from our neighborhood or job I would prefer they spoke to me about it in a non-lifestyle environment ASAP rather than catching me in mid stroke and surpising the shit out of me.

She could do that also. The OP's question was about getting "involved" with the other couple, which I don't recommend at all. It works for some, but it doesn't work for many others (read the many threads on here about this subject). She could approach them and say "Hey, I saw you on AFF, we have a profile there too." and see where it goes. It will give them something else in common and to talk about, but I stand by my advice of not getting "involved" with them.

 

We've met several business associates at parties, not naked, but as they came in the door and saw us or at the bar getting drinks, etc. We don't have on-premise clubs in Utah so the situation you relate wouldn't happen, but it could be a little more awkward. So maybe because of this it would be good to approach the coworker privately and out yourself.

 

Mr. WS

[Cpl2share 147]

We discovered while getting ready for a house party that one of the other couples were very close associates, but not in business. We did have fun with them at the party, but have not carried the play to other areas. keep in mind that the lifestyle is a relatively small community, but you will eventually find people that you know. Work is always a no no for play partners. As my pappy used to say:

 

Never shit where you eat!

[Sico_tiko 17]

I think it is not a bad idea as long as you trust them, and this wont make u any problems at work