For those who don't use condoms

[foozballnow 31]

First off please note I am not trying to restart a debate on bareback vs. condoms. We practice safe sex and am not here to preach. I was just a little curious and thought I would ask the community. So PLEASE don't turn this into a statistics thread again.

 

For those of you that do go bareback with other couples, be it on a regular basis or with only select people, how did you get started doing bareback? Was it always something you have done since you entered the lifestyle, or something that came over time and experience?

 

Also, where does the mini-community of bareback swingers tend to ejaculate? Do couples have rules about that or is it generally just done inside the woman?

 

Last, how did going bareback change your experiences in the lifestyle, good or bad, assuming you haven't been a bareback couple since inception. Thanks for the info

[good times 991]

foozballnow said:

For those of you that do go bareback with other couples, be it on a regular basis or with only select people, how did you get started doing bareback? Was it always something you have done since you entered the lifestyle, or something that came over time and experience?

Like a lot of people just getting started in the lifestyle, when we first started we just assumed everyone would use condoms. As it happened our first couple of full swaps we did just that. Then we met a couple that we really wanted to hook up with and they refused to play with anyone who used condoms. I then started researching STD's for a couple hours a day and after about 2-3 months of research decided that for the types of STD's we were worried about, condoms were all but useless. We also had the problem of Mrs, GT still being fertile at the time though, so at that time we would only play with couples bareback that the husband was fixed, like myself. Then after swinging for a couple of years Mrs. GT had to have an operation and it turned out that the doctor could tie her tubes at the same time. Now since we have no worries regarding pregnancy we only use condoms with those couples that request us to.

 

 

foozballnow said:

Also, where does the mini-community of bareback swingers tend to ejaculate? Do couples have rules about that or is it generally just done inside the woman?

I wouldn't say it is a mini-community as well over 50% of the swingers we know either will never play using condoms or consider it optional and only do it when requested. Generally we ejaculate inside the woman.

 

 

foozballnow said:

Last, how did going bareback change your experiences in the lifestyle, good or bad, assuming you haven't been a bareback couple since inception. Thanks for the info

That is a hard question to answer, sex without condoms is definitely better, but it usually isn't a deciding factor when choosing our playmates. The only time it makes any difference to us is if their are two equally desirable couples to play with and we had to choose one or the other. In that case, we would choose the one who do not require condoms over the one that requires them.

[Guest screaminggood]

We have fantasies that require bareback...we just haven't found the right people yet.

[tribbles 490]

Originally Posted by foozballnow View Post

For those of you that do go bareback with other couples, be it on a regular basis or with only select people, how did you get started doing bareback? Was it always something you have done since you entered the lifestyle, or something that came over time and experience?

 

We met a number of couples who were fun but a bit older than us. They had more experience in the LS and they didn't use condoms. We looked up what condoms were protecting us from and now, we use them if people want and don't use them if others don't want to.

 

Also, where does the mini-community of bareback swingers tend to ejaculate? Do couples have rules about that or is it generally just done inside the woman?

We have not met any who go bareback who have rules about it. Often inside the woman but mouths are still fun and sometimes on breasts.

 

Last, how did going bareback change your experiences in the lifestyle, good or bad, assuming you haven't been a bareback couple since inception.

It lets us play with people who don't use condoms. That has been fun.

 

Our latest thoughts on the risks are this: Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

[JP51 40]

We tend to ride bareback since we only play with a little group of close friends. We are not much of the club goers, or house parties types so we have a closer relationships where we "appear" to have a reduced risk. Yea I know it is a appearance but not a fact of the math so to speak. We do use condoms when it makes the other couple feel better and relaxed. I have noticed after time that the closer you get to others the less condoms are used as everyone gets more relaxed about the whole thing.

 

Oh well this topic is always one that causes me to

[foozballnow 31]

We haven't been in the situation where someone preferred not to use condoms. All the people we have been with have been condom only people. That's fine with us. I just see a lot of people talking about how they don't use them and I was trying to figure how we hadn't run into that.

[Randies' 16]

We have both had surgical procedures that will forever keep us from having more children.

 

That being said, I (Mrs.Randies') greatly prefer the full feeling I get from bareback. Condoms kind of turn me off a bit.

[rachan 53]

We are selective in our partners and have been doing this for over 5 years and prefer not to use condoms except for anal. We have a doctor that we go to and we are tested for std's. I know it's risky but it's our preference.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We prefer no condoms, we would use them with anyone we don't know well. like at a club or such. but we do like to know play partners well enough to go without.

 

If it's a case of them asking for me to wear one, then it's only fair that the other male wear one also. We had a couple that felt that since Mrs. Fun is safe, oh goody, he didn't have to wear one. But he wanted me to wear one because his wife wasn't safe. That's just wrong. If I wear one so do you.

[xxoticangel 99]

If we're playing bareback I/we prefer to cum deep inside the woman. I really love that part. If we're covered I prefer to finish my partner orally or have him cum on my back/stomach depending on the position. Having a partner finish inside a condom takes something from the experience.

[Wildthingplus 47]

My husband and I started the lifestyle using condoms. I really didn’t enjoy sex with condoms as I am deathly allergic to latex and the other kind are uncomfortable. So, I investigated the risks of not using condoms. I found that condoms don’t really protect much against STD's; I started not using condoms about 10 years ago with no problems.

My experience in most of the clubs my husband and I go to is that over 50% do not use condoms.

 

As for where to allow ejaculation, couples have their own rules, but I only allow for ejaculation inside me – anywhere else just isn’t for me.

 

Since I stopped using condoms I enjoy the lifestyle a lot more.

[couplewanting50 65]

For those of you that do go bareback with other couples, be it on a regular basis or with only select people, how did you get started doing bareback? Was it always something you have done since you entered the lifestyle, or something that came over time and experience?

 

It is a very natural thing. Spontaneous. Real.

 

Also, where does the mini-community of bareback swingers tend to ejaculate? Do couples have rules about that or is it generally just done inside the woman?

 

Inside the woman. Again, natural.

[ShellyM 0]

We no longer do bareback at all because I have had issues with recurrent UTI's and my urologist said that I need to have other men glove up; sorry, TMI!! LOL. Condoms have always been a rule of ours but we have had friends that we allowed bareback play with. Anyways lol. I know with me men have always been gentlemen. I don't think I have had anyone yet that just assumed he could cum inside my body. They asked me where and I said my stomach and it has always been obliged. We have had very good luck in that we have always pretty much played with couples that are very friendly and obliging to our requests during play.

[meandher2go 17]

I always glove up and I DO prefer to cum on a girls belly then. besides the map of Hawaii looks great on there or her back....

[bigjoehd 26]

Our latest thoughts on the risks are this: Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

 

Best line I've heard in a long time.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

foozballnow said:

Was it always something you have done since you entered the lifestyle, or something that came over time and experience?

Sheryl has hated condoms even since she was a teenager, so it was natural for her to play bare in the lifestyle from the start, but it took a little longer for me (Greg) to get with the program. As a youth, I used condoms religiously, but once my playmates and I started reaching our mid-30s, a number of my partners started sitting on my unprotected cock without even suggesting a condom. Needless to say, I got spoiled.

 

Quote

Also, where does the mini-community of bareback swingers tend to ejaculate? Do couples have rules about that or is it generally just done inside the woman?

We think bareback swingers are actually a silent majority in the lifestyle. When asked, most swingers will say that they use condoms because that's the politically correct response, but most of the people we know in the lifestyle also play bare. Rules regarding ejaculation vary from couple to couple, but vaginal cumshots are the most common, and oral and facial shots are popular among those who like to photograph or videotape their play.

[ShellyM 0]

Greg&Sheryl,

I agree. Honestly if you know a couple or person I don't see anything wrong with it. We have played bareback with couples we know and trust. Is there more risk with that? Yes there is...but in truth I think that the vast majority of the swinging community is fine. And in truth the only people I have ever met that have tested positive for std's are vanilla. Now of course, common sense is in order as always. For instance, if we still were doing bareback (Jay actually can with trusted couples as long as they are okay; I only refrain because my urologist told me to) we would not on Saturday at the house party we are going to. Why? Simply because we do not know the couples there and don't want to take that risk. Anyways, again it is simply a decision that every couple has to make for themselves.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Yes there is...but in truth I think that the vast majority of the swinging community is fine. And in truth the only people I have ever met that have tested positive for std's are vanilla.

 

just curious, how many swingers have you honestly met, that showed any medical documentation. how many have you asked?

[hmr 25]

Actually there are studies , which the Mrs found, that show people in the lifestyle tend to have much less STD's then the vanilla community. Something about we are more likely to be tested and are more aware of the issues. I'll see if she can find it again, but I do remember it was only a google search away.

[foozballnow 31]

Yea, I would like to see some of these studies. I know a lot of people mention them and that they are their reasons for going bareback but all the studies I ever see are talking about vanilla people and that wrapping it up saves your life. So where are the other studies and who is publishing them?

[ShellyM 0]

just curious, how many swingers have you honestly met, that showed any medical documentation. how many have you asked?

 

That's true, I don't walk up and say you are hot and btw do you have herpes lol. No, I haven't. However, when something breaks out usually people are notified. For instance, there is a yahoo group of swingers that in like March got a call from the CDC (I received this from our friend in Austin who keeps her ears constantly to the ground) that someone in their group had tested positive for HIV. You talk about a shock wave. Now, this was a group that mainly played north of the Austin area, but talk about a shock wave. What upset me was the fact that only certain members in that group were told to test for HIV. As far as we know they only had negative results, but the word got out quite fast about it. In my opinion swingers tend to look out for each other, and when someone is hot usually people know about it. Now that is completely my opinion and I may be wrong. But no, I do not ask to see lab slips. LOL.

[FunSeeker 15]

I much prefer bareback to condoms any day, but I will wear one when requested. I just love feeling the full pleasure of warm moist pussy, very erotic as well.

[hamlet 53]

We prefer to go bareback simply because it feels better. As age squeezes us tighter and tighter in its obnoxious grip, the degree of stimulation becomes more and more important if the male half of us wants to be fully functional.

 

Pregnancy is not a concern as we're both surgically fixed. In fact, if ever we conceive a child between us, we figure that we could start a new religion.

 

I agree with the previous poster who said that bareback couples are the lifestyle's silent majority. We've partied with a fair number of couples during our swinging years and have found that, if we don't bring up the subject of condoms (which we don't), very few others will. Of course, whenever we're asked to use them we comply with the other couple's wishes, but it's rare that we've established an ongoing relationship with such a couple. And that's certainly not because we resent being asked--quite to the contrary, we entirely respect and understand the preferences/concerns of those for whom condoms are essential--but rather because of the issue raised in Paragraph 1 above: sex is simply not much fun for us when condoms are involved. That's really too bad, as there's been at least one very nice couple whom we wish we could have continued to see, but, until Ponce de Leon reports back to us, that's just the way it is.

[ShellyM 0]

On Saturday we ended up playing bareback and it was tons of fun. It is just hard to use them because a lot of times he is giving oral and then I'm giving him oral and it is just the natural "progression". Is it a risk? Yep. And with me thank God for Macrobid. But it was a wonderful time.

[beachguyz 25]

Shelly M, I thought you didn't go bareback because of your issues. Has something changed?

[ShellyM 0]

Shelly M, I thought you didn't go bareback because of your issues. Has something changed?

 

No. I don't have issues really. I take Macrobid after sex, I just usually use condoms as extra precaution. I have recurrent UTIs and so the condoms honestly are just an added protection. I played on Sat. and am fine because I took the Macrobid after and then on Sunday as my urologist told me to do.......I probably should have stopped him. But in truth I caved lol. He was really good at what he does and it seemed "unnatural" to stop the process.

[couplewanting50 65]

I probably should have stopped him. But in truth I caved lol. He was really good at what he does and it seemed "unnatural" to stop the process.

 

Just reading that causes me to like you, and I mean because of the humanity in it. The live in the moment in it. The natural in it.

[ShellyM 0]

Just reading that causes me to like you, and I mean because of the humanity in it. The live in the moment in it. The natural in it.

 

Thank you, that's very sweet of you. I did think about it and then I was like who am I, what's my name again? LOL. They are truly a great pair, not only sexually but in all ways.

[TerryforSex 14]

Bareback...a decision. I guess it's up to the individual.

 

For me at first it was condoms and then I did research things and condoms did not help with lots of sexually transmitted things. Condoms are porous. It is a fact.

 

Now I did have guys use the condoms if they preferred but the natural lambskin feels better inside me so I take along those. But the next guy may prefer bareback and so since I like to go without condoms we have our fun. It is a personal thing.

 

Now let's talk about birth control.....condoms are not the best for that either.

[rpu3 630]

Quote

Now let's talk about birth control.....condoms are not the best for that either.

 

Birth control is a personal choice just like bareback. Condoms might actually be the best method and choice for some. But condoms and birth control really isn't the point of the topic, unless you'd like to start a new thread, TerryforSex.

[foozballnow 31]

bareback is a choice. i was mainly curious how it changed people's swinging experience. Be it good or bad.

[bodyshots 15]

We play with condoms, mainly because of the perceived safety issues. Can anyone cite the studies, I'd like to look at them...maybe we could migrate to the bare-back side, which I'd prefer

 

Thanks

[foozballnow 31]

the studies please?

[rpu3 630]

What specific set of stats or studies? There are plenty of studies and data regarding safety issues, but those of you looking for information need to be more specific and identify what disease and what safety issue you want information from.

 

If I'm looking for data, I go to the CDC for starters, and those seeking information can certainly Google what you are seeking and generally find studies on your own.

[foozballnow 31]

People were saying there are studies that show condoms are not as effective as we are led to believe and that's why they don't use them. I was curious to read those and see who was actually publishing that.

[des1re06 200]

We've been talking about this a lot lately, and have come to a new decision. ding ding ding

 

We will do whichever our playmates are comfortable with. We prefer bareback.

 

I really don't see the need to go into why.

 

Mrs. D

[GerdOEvert 51]

We were in the lifestyle for five six years, and then left for fifteen while the kids were growing up. In our first run, there were constant STD's passed around. I think we had several courses of antibiotics, and Eileen had to have several genital warts removed.

 

The advent of AIDS made us much more careful.

 

I think the people in this section that say the Lifestyle types have fewer STD's than their Vanilla Friends are just mistaken or whistling past the graveyard.

 

We would only play with partners we really knew well over a long period without protection. The downside risk is just too great.

[SCcpl40 74]

We will do whichever our playmates are comfortable with. We prefer bareback.

 

Life is a risk, you can get the same STD's from kissing or oral so you're only fooling yourself.

 

We agree and are the same.

[cplin78260 15]

On Saturday we ended up playing bareback and it was tons of fun. It is just hard to use them because a lot of times he is giving oral and then I'm giving him oral and it is just the natural "progression". Is it a risk? Yep. And with me thank God for Macrobid. But it was a wonderful time.

 

Thanks Shell for making me break out Google! LOL

 

We prefer and mostly go bareback, but it is an evolving process.

 

We spend a lot of time getting to know people and sure you build up the trust, and we understand there are risks as it has been drummed into our heads since we were teenagers.

 

Why I can still remember the day my Dad handed me a condom.

 

Of course it would have been nice if he had actually given me a demonstration on a banana or something because WOW...it was freaking awkward the first time I tried to put it on. HAHAHA But...I digress.

 

For me, the quickest way to get me soft again is to slap that room temperature bit of unforgiving plastic on me.

 

Sure, being somewhere nice and tight is nice, but that is NOT my idea of a good time.

 

I have been snipped, but Rochelle has not, so we ask that the guy pull out and cum somewhere on her body.

 

And no, she will not let a guy cum in her mouth...even for me...

 

She offers to let me taste it to see how I like it.

 

Of course I run away screaming NOOOOOO! LOL

 

She is also allergic to latex and something about non-latex just rubs her the wrong way, so no fun having that kind of abrasion...no matter the amount of AstroGlide that is thrown in the mix.

 

We have only been to one party since we have been in SA (Saturday night as a matter of fact...nice jammies by the way Shell ), but to me that was more of a meet and greet, but I still came prepared with raincoats...and only played with my date who Rochelle and I play as a couple with.

 

All that said, that is our preference, but if we are going to be with a couple and they asked for condoms to be used, then we will be good with that.

 

By the time the condom discussion comes up, we are usually knee deep into a friendship and have made the decision that yes, we would like to play with that couple.

 

Anyhow, that is my $5...quite a bit more then my 2 cents since I could not stop typing. LOL

[des1re06 200]

I remember watching a show last year where a doctor from the CDC was discussing oral sex and STDs. She said that you can get every STD there is from oral except crabs. Those travel from hair to hair. Of course, it depends on if you have facial hair and pubic hair, which we have neither.

 

So, what's the point of being "safe" when engaged in intercourse, if you're going to pass along the germs during oral anyway?

 

That's our opinion from reading and talking to sex experts (medical field).

 

Mrs. D

[rpu3 630]

So, what's the point of being "safe" when engaged in intercourse, if you're going to pass along the germs during oral anyway?

 

I've been contemplating the same thing myself; if I or we do everything else, then why use a condom?

 

Yes, I can feasibly get any STD from oral, but the statistics are different, more in my favor to not contract a STD. Maybe it's just a panacea, but it does reduce risk, and that's what makes sex with other partners feasible to me - I reduced the risk to a tolerable level for me. Is it 100% safe? No. I know this, and I just try to minimize the odds until it's an acceptable risk whether it be just using condoms or declining to play altogether. If I didn't accept some risk, I'd be at home 24/7 watching American Idol and Dancing with the Stars off the DVR.

 

In the end, it still will come down to individual choice and preference. My personal stance is condom use or lack thereof is a based on risk tolerance in conjunction with trust of a partner. Given that many who swing approach it strictly from a position of casual sex, and relationship-building to earn or determine trust or relationship building to develop trust is not necessary or wanted, swingers either go without the trust and use a condom, or decide the risk is acceptable and go without a condom.

 

I may not understand people's choices, but I accept that others have a different risk stance than I do. My personal stance is that trusting people I don't know or just barely acquainted with falls in the realm of too risky and an unnecessary risk. Hell, trusting people period ends up being its own numerical factor in the risk calculation. Even if you do build a relationship and decide to trust someone in any number of contexts, they can still be acting a risky manner outside of your context and you may or may not know about it to factor it in.

 

So, that's one person's POV as to "what's the point", I guess. "What's the point" is going to have a gazillion answers, as "what's the point" ends up being solely a personal choice.

 

Rebecca

Who really shouldn't be near a keyboard this early in the a.m. without that second cup of coffee.

[Guest screaminggood]

What's Macrobid?????

[personal416 71]

Even if you do build a relationship and decide to trust someone in any number of contexts, they can still be acting a risky manner outside of your context and you may or may not know about it to factor it in.

 

That's what it has come down to for us. Even if we chose to limit our play with a select group of adults, but the other adults having their own reasons/motivations for playing can/will expand it if/when they want... sometimes without our knowledge. That fine and dandy for them, but we'd rather not go down that road of taking a "course of meds" because someone else wanted to widen the circle to include people we don't know. By the time things get fishy, we're probably in deep water anyway. (spoken like a true scuba diver, eh?)

 

Nothings a sure thing... I know we'd prefer bareback if/when we're with like minded adults that want are seeking trust/"exclusivity". ....kinda like focusing on open-minded vanilla friends that are brought into the lifestyle.

 

Make sense? Or are we just kidding ourselves?

[rpu3 630]

What's Macrobid?????

 

Brand name of an antibiotic used for UTIs.

[toomuchfun 77]

We've been playing since September, there is only one guy besides me (the husband) that ever has intercourse with my wife with out a condom. When we first met him he had (for insurance purposes) just recently had a full STD screen and came up clean. So he was her bareback buddy.

 

Everyone else we required condoms for intercourse.

 

Well we found out this afternoon that we are positive for HSV (don't know 1 or 2). We're still not sure if we are done playing or if we will just seek out people that are also HSV positive, or what.

 

But in any case, condoms didn't make any kind of difference for us. I guess we knew we weren't going to get the HIV but I never thought too much about the herpes.

[Formybubu 55]

We are both fixed and we both have reactions to Latex. So we go Bareback. Also if we hook up with another couple and no mention of Condoms during talk we assume we are going bareback with them. If it comes up in the room we have a code to make sure all is fair in bed (it is amazing how the guy knows he has to and tries to not use one) it is a simple YES or NO. If give a yes that means must use if I give a no all is good. If gives a yes then I know one must be used and if she gives a no I ask her and if she says yes then I say yes and we usually walk out on that couple because if they are like that they are not worth having (cheating is cheating).

[rpu3 630]

Nothings a sure thing... I know we'd prefer bareback if/when we're with like minded adults that want are seeking trust/"exclusivity". ....kinda like focusing on open-minded vanilla friends that are brought into the lifestyle.

 

Make sense? Or are we just kidding ourselves?

 

It certainly makes sense and at the same time, we could both be kidding ourselves. Sigh.

[jama42guns 15]

This has always been a tough topic for the wife. Ever since we met in collage she has loved to play bareback. We were sooooo lucky because for the first few weeks together we got carried away often and went without, choosing the 'pull-out' technique. Then she went on the pill and we were fine. When we started swinging she went in with full intentions of using condoms, because she cannot use contraceptives anymore herself.

But when she would get into the heat of passion with guys, she would just go with the flow and if they didn't want to use one she was more than happy to accommodate. We finally came to the conclusion that she can't stand condoms and isn't going to use them if she doesn't have to.

[twotocum4u2 16]

Hmm, we prefer bareback but will "glove" up if the other couple requests it. As for were do I prefer to ejaculate, well I like it deep in the lady and that is were Mrs. Twotocum4u2 likes it too.

[theflamekasters 20]

the wife had a hysterectomy earlier this year, and we play with a certain group of people bareback. all of which we know the status of their fertility! That is our main concern, since the people we meet we have a reference to 99% of the time. If we meet some one at the club we have never seen before, then we sure cover up. Some of the couples we play with often, ask us to so we do.

 

As far as where I cum, I cum where the woman wants me to!!