Are single females in the lifestyle less "hot" than married females?

[8inches 15]

I've been in the lifestyle for several years and I have played with both couples and single females. In my experience, I have found that females when part of a couple to be generally in better shape and to have better figures (assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

 

Has anyone else noticed this or am I alone in this observation?

 

I've done searches on different lifestyle sites to see if my observations were general or not and indeed I have noticed that among single female profiles you will find a lot more in the "curvy" or "thick" category than you will for married females.

[Drusilla 22]

assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

 

Very politically correct, 8inches! Lots of thought went into how to word this post, huh? lol

 

Sorry.....couldn't resist....

 

And yes, of course, married women are much hotter than single ones.

 

Oh, is that politically incorrect of me? LOL....

 

Just joshin' of course.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think that what you are seeing comes from...

 

single women who find their way to swinging do so in one of two ways... either because they used to be half of a swinging couple or because they are just looking for a way to be more open about their sexuality in an accepting environment. What you may also be seeing (and I may get flamed for this) is that the single women who are higher on the hotness scale may not feel the need or desire to advertise on swinger sites because it is easier for them to find playmates in other ways. Whereas women who may not be as high on the physical hotness scale may find that advertising on websites gives them a great ego boost, thanks to all the responses they will get as single women.

 

From what I've seen overall the averages are about the same in single to married women, I've seen thick and thin in both and hot and NOT in both as well when it comes to swinging. Granted I've see a lot more attached women in the lifestyle than singles but I think from my experiences the percentages work out about the same.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

...What you may also be seeing (and I may get flamed for this) is that the single women who are higher on the hotness scale may not feel the need or desire to advertise on swinger sites because it is easier for them to find playmates in other ways. Whereas women who may not be as high on the physical hotness scale may find that advertising on websites gives them a great ego boost, thanks to all the responses they will get as single women.

I agree with Julie's take on this.

 

There are very few single female profiles on the ad site we use, and if I researched to see if they fit into a smaller physical size category more than the women of couples, I don't think I'd find that they would.

 

What I have noticed is that the single women that are usually smaller in size are those 18-25 yo. And on looking at their profiles, I don't think most are even that interested in swinging. They rarely last long on the site and their pictures seem very pornesque and their profiles vague or nearly empty. I figure they joined to get a thrill at being desired for a month (while being a trial member) or the profile was set up by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend or ex-husband and, therefore, the profile isn't even real.

 

Around here we have found that more females (whether married or single) wear size 14 and up rather than size 4.

 

LM

[ncmd_couple 597]

8inches,

 

I've got some good news, and some bad news. After reading this, I decided that I was going to ignore it. But after reading some of the other responses, and reading a couple of other posts from you, I thought this was probably the best place to give you the news.

 

The good news is: (and I'm assuming your fairly young as you have never introduced yourself)

 

In your age bracket the women tend to be young, slender, more fit, more in line with what you see on TV and in magazines.

 

The bad news is:

 

You may be able to keep your "buff" body longer by working out. But our sexy ladies pay the price for raising kids and nature isn't often real kind to them. I know, some women can have a child and weeks later you would never guess it. But they are the exception, not the rule. Throw in 25-30 years on top of that.

 

The really good news is:

 

As you get older, live through life with a lady, watch your children grow, and watch the changes, you may, or may not learn one of life's great lessons like I did.

 

I look at my sexy lady and see the beautiful young woman that she once was. Yes, diabitis has caused her to gain weight no matter how hard she has fought. Yes, gravity has taken its toll here and there. Yes, she has scars here and there. But when she smiles at me her eyes still sparkle. When I hold her in my arms she is still a cuddly arm full and I still love feeling her great tits up against my chest.

 

I hope you learn to do that, for one day you will be 50ish like me, still randy, but you will be chasing 20ish girls when they are looking at young buff 20ish guys. Not some guy who has some grey hair, if he hasn't lost it, who is in good shape, but ewwww, he is her father's age.

 

Age does not give me wisdom, but it does give me perspective. Enjoy it while ya' got it 8incher, time levels all playing fields...

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

 

What I have noticed is that the single women that are usually smaller in size are those 18-25 yo. And on looking at their profiles, I don't think most are even that interested in swinging. They rarely last long on the site and their pictures seem very pornesque and their profiles vague or nearly empty. I figure they joined to get a thrill at being desired for a month (while being a trial member) or the profile was set up by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend or ex-husband and, therefore, the profile isn't even real.

 

 

Another common reason for this (especially on sites like AFF) is that many of those profiles are set up by people who run websites or do camchat (with a charge) and they just use the profiles on the ad sites to "hook" potential members/paying customers.

[8inches 15]

What you may also be seeing (and I may get flamed for this) is that the single women who are higher on the hotness scale may not feel the need or desire to advertise on swinger sites because it is easier for them to find playmates in other ways. Whereas women who may not be as high on the physical hotness scale may find that advertising on websites gives them a great ego boost, thanks to all the responses they will get as single women.

 

From what I've seen overall the averages are about the same in single to married women, I've seen thick and thin in both and hot and NOT in both as well when it comes to swinging. Granted I've see a lot more attached women in the lifestyle than singles but I think from my experiences the percentages work out about the same.

 

So your saying that on lifestyle websites you DO see that profiles from single women are less "physically hot" but in real life (at parties I guess) you see the single females about the same physically as the married females? I personally think the single women at parties aren't hotter than the single women on lifestyle websites - to me they are pretty representative...

[WesternSwing 504]

I think it's the same across the board. Swingers are simply a sampling of everyday people and come from all walks of life. In my experience the ratio of thinner women to thicker women is the same as it is amongst non-swingers.

[8inches 15]

And on looking at their profiles, I don't think most are even that interested in swinging. They rarely last long on the site and their pictures seem very pornesque and their profiles vague or nearly empty. I figure they joined to get a thrill at being desired for a month (while being a trial member) or the profile was set up by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend or ex-husband and, therefore, the profile isn't even real.

 

Yeah, I think some if not most of those "pornesque" profiles are fake also. Could be posted by a disgruntled ex or a gal looking for attention or perhaps even a guy pretending to be a girl for kicks.....

[8inches 15]

I think it's the same across the board. Swingers are simply a sampling of everyday people and come from all walks of life. In my experience the ratio of thinner women to thicker women is the same as it is amongst non-swingers.

 

I think married women in the lifestyle are generally hotter than in the general population but maybe my perspective is skewed from those I play with....

[good times 991]

I have a hard time answering this question because on the one hand, at any given night at the club, the hottest women are usually part of a couple. On the other hand, that doesn't mean much because their are way more married women than single gals on any given night. On a night with 30-40 couples their might be 2-4 single women. I suspect if their were the same number of each, the average hotness level would be about the same. The same holds true for the ad sites in our area. Their are so few single women compared to couples that it would be impossible say which is hotter as a group, even though the odds of finding a real hot woman as part of a couple is much greater than finding a hot single.

[sexcupid 809]

Has anyone else noticed this or am I alone in this observation?

 

 

On one hand, you may not have very much company in this observation.

 

When I was in my late teens/early 20s (which has only been about 10 years ago), I would have NEVER thought to post an ad on anything like AFF or SLS.

 

Why? Because as a younger, relatively hotter/thinner female I had no problems finding fuck buddies/play partners/one night stands/whatever. Am I implying that those who are 'less hot' are in some way more desperate and 'resort' to posting on these sites (or others like them)? Not in anyway.

 

Personally, it never dawned on me to do so....but I had no aversion to meeting people, going out to vanilla clubs, introducing myself, or just having sex with male friends I already knew and were comfortable with. Was my bedroom a revolving door? Hardly, but I still had a good time.

 

Most swingers are here to play with other couples...and you'll see a representation of hot, not so hot and all in between. If Jeff and I split up, would I swing as a single? Probably. Would I have entered the lifestyle as a single female before doing it with a partner? Eh, probably not.

 

If you are looking for the 'hot girls' to go have a good time with, then I recommend going to any number of vanilla dance clubs on the weekends and try your luck picking up women there. I would still say it's a crapshoot, just about like going to a swing club...there are no guarantees that you (particuarly as a single male) will have sex. Just like at a vanilla club.

 

Good luck,

 

Maria

[Chicup 41]

I've been in the lifestyle for several years and I have played with both couples and single females. In my experience, I have found that females when part of a couple to be generally in better shape and to have better figures (assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

 

Has anyone else noticed this or am I alone in this observation?

 

I've done searches on different lifestyle sites to see if my observations were general or not and indeed I have noticed that among single female profiles you will find a lot more in the "curvy" or "thick" category than you will for married females.

 

If you are a hot female single looking for casual no strings sex, you have absolutely no reason to go to a web site, post photos etc. You can pick and choose, its the nature of sex and swinging.

 

Thats not to say I haven't seen a few very attractive single females on swinging sites who were in fact real people. Problem is most of them were a bit off in the head, or in fact down right nuts.

 

Occasionally it seems you might find a recently divorced woman who just wants to go out and have some 'real' fun after years in an unhappy marriage or you might find a divorced half of a former swinger couple, but again those are pretty rare.

 

I had a rather unattractive vanilla friend who was having big problems in her marriage, which had become sexless. Long story short her husband gave her an open pass, and I suggested swinging to her as an alternative to meeting single guys. I was friends with both her and her husband and was hoping they could keep it together once she got her wild side under control (that was all she claimed she was lacking the sex). She put up an add and had a full dance card from the first weekend, thats just how it works for even less than perfect unicorns.

[iapr 24]

Which is hotter, accountants or chiropractors? You are trying to compare apples to oranges here. Single fems on websites are a completely different creature than swinging wives. If you want to think that the wives are hotter than the singles go for it.

 

To be honest I have observed the same thing and I think the other posters have shared some pretty open dialogue on the issue and have shown some pretty admirable sensitivity on a subject that could get real touchy real fast.

 

I'll try not to be offensive or to put anyone down but I am going to disable the political correctness filter for a while and share my $.02 (which may be a complete rip-off). Females halves of couples as a group are often a cross-section of society as a whole. There are big, small, short, tall, rich, poor, blonde, brunette etc etc. For the most part they are "normal" people that have delved into a nontraditional lifestyle with their husbands as part of their maritial sexual dynamic. Many have lived completely traditional lives for many years untill they dipped their toe into the lifestyle

 

Single fems putting up profiles on swinging websites and meeting couples and single guys for recreational sexual encounters are "abnormal" from the outset. Now I don't mean abnormal in a bad or insulting way but they have completely stepped out of the traditional bounds of what society expects of a single female. For someone to take such a radical departure from the norm there has to be a reason for that.

 

There are surely countless reasons for that, but unfortunately some of those reasons are disfunctional in nature. Some have come from nasty divorces and breakups and are there to fuck as many people as they can not because they like the sex and freedom but to get back at their husbands as "punishment" to their ex's. For some it is trying to fill a void in their self esteem or self image and they are just there for the attention. Some are unattractive and the lifestyle is their last ditch effort to get some male attention and to be able to be the one in the drivers seat calling the shots. They have reached a point where they are ignoring their grandmothers admonition to not give the milk away for free and so they are giving away as much milk for free as possible in hopes that someone will buy the cow.

 

And I also agree with chicup that some are just plain nuts. Some just have so many issues and hangups that societal standards and practices mean nothing to them and they have abandoned all societal norms.

 

Now after saying all that please keep in mind this is just personal observations from one guy. I am not out on some crusade against single fems, but a good reality check now and then is usually a good thing. We have met some pleasant and charming single gals that were showing no outwards signs of pathology and were pretty self-aware and well adjusted. Were they attractive? No, not really but they were a face in the crowd like you would run into a hundred times a day but never really "see."

 

I guess what I am getting at after all of this is that your observations are your observations and are your reality. If you are enjoying your encounters with female halves of couples go for it. If you are having fantasies of encountering Jenna Jamison as a single fem in the lifestyle you may want to step back and take another look at what is really out there.

 

Single fems in the lifestyle are very limited. Single fems in the lifestyle that are for real and actually meet people in person are very rare. Single fems that meet people in person and are attractive are one in a million.

 

Likeminds321 also made an astute observation. If you come across a profile of a young hot chick, chances are it is either a biological female that is just trying to garner attention or it is actually some gross guy living in his mom's basement with his pants down around his ankles trying to scam people for pictures by posing as a single fem.

 

I apologize to any that may have taken offense by my above observations. I realize that there are attractive, squared away, self-actualized single gals out there that have no disfunctions or pathologys. I just haven't had the fortune of meeting any of them yet. You all may flame away now.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

...Single fems putting up profiles on swinging websites and meeting couples and single guys for recreational sexual encounters are "abnormal" from the outset. Now I don't mean abnormal in a bad or insulting way but they have completely stepped out of the traditional bounds of what society expects of a single female. For someone to take such a radical departure from the norm there has to be a reason for that.

True. But you can say that about couples too.

 

I think with any swinger, single or couples, knowing the "reason" they are swinging is crucial when deciding if you want to swing with them.

 

There are plenty of "wacked out" couples in the lifestyle. Avoiding them is easier for some than others. And I believe our chances of finding couples with their heads on straight is higher because there are way more couples out there than single females.

 

With so few single females to choose from, the likelihood of coming across a good one will be harder to do.

 

8inches started this thread asking about "hot" single fems versus hot married women, and he was focusing on the physical attributes of what he considers hot. As this discussion has progressed, I think most of us will agree that there is way more to consider than a dress size when determining if a woman is hot or not.

 

LM

[Cpl2share 147]

Right on Likeminds! Hot? What is that? We see all kinds in the lifestyle, just like in "real life". A skinny woman can be ugly as hell and a heavy woman can be the most sensuos thing on the face of the earth. This thread reminds me of that movie: Shallow Hal. We have found that getting to know someone will tell us if they are hot or not. Like earlier posters have said: Swingers are a cross section of the rest of society. In our opinion a woman who has a "lived in" body is much hotter than a teeny bopper becuase she has earned the respect (by living life) and is comfortable with her body. Any teeny who has not had to struggle with the in laws, children and the daily grind of life can spend lots of time worrying about how she looks, give me a woman who has went to the school of life with surgery and stretch marks, that is hot!

[Sico_tiko 17]

I also Think that single females are less hot than married ones

[iapr 24]

True. But you can say that about couples too.

 

I think with any swinger, single or couples, knowing the "reason" they are swinging is crucial when deciding if you want to swing with them.

 

There are plenty of "wacked out" couples in the lifestyle. Avoiding them is easier for some than others. And I believe our chances of finding couples with their heads on straight is higher because there are way more couples out there than single females.

 

With so few single females to choose from, the likelihood of coming across a good one will be harder to do.

 

8inches started this thread asking about "hot" single fems versus hot married women, and he was focusing on the physical attributes of what he considers hot. As this discussion has progressed, I think most of us will agree that there is way more to consider than a dress size when determining if a woman is hot or not.

 

LM

 

Oh there are definately wacked out couples out there for sure!! And there are surely single fems that are completely squared away and well adjusted, I just haven't ever met any them in my travels and I have traveled a fair amount.

 

And I agree with you totally that dress size does not determine if someone is hot or not. The OP's verbage may have been a bit sophomoric and more fitting for a fraternity house locker room discussion rather than a serious swinger board but his observations are his observations and giving it some thought they are not all that different from my own. As he is probably a young single guy he is probably more in tune to physical attributes than a middle age married bald guy like me. This is just my personal thoughts but I betcha that a lot of young single guys try to enter the lifesyle thinking that there are going to be all these young hot single porno starlets at every venue and that is just not the reality. He has probably gotten out enough to figure out that the real single fem market in the lifestyle just isn't as enticing as what the fantasy is.

 

The only thing I disagree with you on is I do not believe that I need to know someone's "reason for swinging" before I can swing with them. Their reasons are their own and my/our reasons are our own. As long as there is a mutual attraction and comfort and as long as everyone is respectfull of feelings and boundries I don't think one persons reasons are any more or any less valid than another persons. We always have a choice to play or to walk away so one can choose to not play with cheaters or with anyone that they are not completely comfortable with. If you pick up a red flag and choose to pass that is always your perogative.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

The only thing I disagree with you on is I do not believe that I need to know someone's "reason for swinging" before I can swing with them. Their reasons are their own and my/our reasons are our own...If you pick up a red flag and choose to pass that is always your perogative.

What I meant by "reasons for swinging" are their motivations that can make playing with them troublesome.

 

Examples:

 

a) One spouse is dragging the other into swinging and the one being pulled into it is agreeing to it because they feel they have no choice.

 

b) One spouse feels if they don't agree to swinging, they will lose their spouse to cheating.

 

c) The couple has a marriage breaking down and hope swinging will repair it.

 

These are a few of the things I'm talking about. Yes, their reasons are their own, but we hope we'll get a sense of these kind of reasons before we ever play with them. I think when you play with a couple who is swinging for any of the above reasons it can affect how the play goes. In the middle of play you can end up thinking to yourself, "What did we get ourselves into!"

 

LM

[8inches 15]

And I believe our 8inches started this thread asking about "hot" single fems versus hot married women, and he was focusing on the physical attributes of what he considers hot. As this discussion has progressed, I think most of us will agree that there is way more to consider than a dress size when determining if a woman is hot or not.

LM

 

I would say I've met as many if not more fucked up couples in the Lifestyle than swingles. But the married females are generally more attractive than their single female counterparts.

 

Also, the swingle guys in the lifestyle are usually in way better shape than their married male counterpart.

 

I guess it's supply and demand in action - since there are so few swingle females in the LS and the demand for them is high, well, "beggers can't be choosers"

 

Likewise, lot's of swingle males so couples can pick and choose. And if couples want to choose the obese single guy with the small cock who has a great personality, it's their perogative...

[beachguyz 25]

It's all a matter of perspective. There are many women single and married who are smoking hot. But what is hot? For me it's the entire package. What does not appeal to me is beauty but no brains. It might be a smile, her eyes, how she carries her self that first attracts me but in the end it's her brain. I much prefer a smart woman over a really good looking but smarts challenged woman.

 

Long after looks are gone, you need to be able to talk to someone interesting.

[crazycatz 17]

I'll be quite honest and say I think this is a ridiculous question.

You are presuming that there is some generic form of 'hot'...there's not! There's YOUR personal taste and that's it!

And the lifestyle attracts people from all categories, all walks of life, all backgrounds...

Maybe you just have a thing for married women...like many single guys who enter the lifestyle do...i.e. fantasising about fucking another man's wife.

[NYCTeamOfOne 15]

I have noticed when someone mentions "hot" people'd jump on the person asking the question giving him a speech on how the definition of "hot" is different for everyone or that he shouldn't look for just hot women.

 

I personally know what OP means when he says "Hot women" and I suspect everyone here knows what he means as well. I also know for sure when he asked his question he was only asking about the physical attribute. You may not agree with what he means by hot but you know what it means to him and probably majority of the population. I think many of us know he'd like his question answered with "HIS" definition of "more attractive" vs "less attractive", not yours.

 

Why can't we simply answer his question without trying to correct him? In you accusing him being judgmental you yourself is being judgmental.

 

P.S. I am not addressing this to any one specific person

[crazycatz 17]

I have noticed when someone mentions "hot" people'd jump on the person asking the question giving him a speech on how the definition of "hot" is different for everyone or that he shouldn't look for just hot women.

 

I personally know what OP means when he says "Hot women" and I suspect everyone here knows what he means as well. I also know for sure when he asked his question he was only asking about the physical attribute. You may not agree with what he means by hot but you know what it means to him and probably majority of the population. I think many of us know he'd like his question answered with "HIS" definition of "more attractive" vs "less attractive", not yours.

 

Why can't we simply answer his question without trying to correct him? In you accusing him being judgmental you yourself is being judgmental.

 

P.S. I am not addressing this to any one specific person

 

Well tell us, what DOES he mean by hot????

To many women Brad Pitt is hot. Not to me. In fact, I find him completely unattractive. Same goes for Tom Cruise. HOT has no generic definition!

I think you're being a little naive there bud.

[sexcupid 809]

Why can't we simply answer his question without trying to correct him? In you accusing him being judgmental you yourself is being judgmental.

 

 

Yes, hotness is relative to the person being asked. However, I assumed that the OP was talking about females aged 18-25 that look like the just stepped off of a porno or Playboy.

 

And my original answer to him was when I was that age, I didn't resort to the lifestyle to find fuck buddies. I just asked. No ads, no swing clubs, no personal ads of any kind. Did I want for partners? No, I had a few that I liked and kept in the rotation. Did I fuck every male that looked my way? No to that too. I did however quite enjoy myself and that's all that mattered to me.

 

Now, 10 years later and I'm part of a couple and we play together. It's still quite easy for me to get an outside partner (even though I look nothing like I did when I was 19)...to find like minded folks that don't mind sharing or joining in the action we do have an SLS ad and don't mind going to clubs.

 

Maria

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here, I spent two years as a fabled unicorn. I was playing for a year before I even heard the term. In my case, group partner play evolved with friends who also had no previous experience in the Lifestyle. One time I went to an on-premise club, with a friend, we were both learning about this broad Lifestyle. I never advertised with a web profile, per se, early on because I seemed to keep running into opportunities for great sex with interesting people. Of course it didn't hurt that I was considered attractive and fun in bed. Yet, I wasn't everyones 'type' and that never bothered me.

 

Yet, I think being fun trumps being pretty,at least with people I wanted to Play with. When a couple was evaluating me as 'fuckworthy' I felt there was a 'target' on me and never would be interested. Yet, the people who were fun to chat with or those who were very comfortable with themselves, polite too, always were the most fun and continue to be so.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

I've been in the lifestyle for several years and I have played with both couples and single females. In my experience, I have found that females when part of a couple to be generally in better shape and to have better figures (assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

 

I've done searches on different lifestyle sites to see if my observations were general or not and indeed I have noticed that among single female profiles you will find a lot more in the "curvy" or "thick" category than you will for married females.

I think asking the question in the first place is kind of rude.

 

Maybe some of the single women run closer to size 14 than you like, but pretty much every guy we've met that calls himself a "single male swinger" runs closer to being a LOSER than we would like, so I guess it's about even, isn't it?

 

If you want to see more "size 4 single women" in the lifestyle, you could start by bringing more attractive, intelligent, successful single men into it first. Most of the guys we see now are towel sharks and mouth-breathers who have NEVER brought their wife or girlfriend into our club.

 

-the male half-

[8inches 15]

I personally know what OP means when he says "Hot women" and I suspect everyone here knows what he means as well. I also know for sure when he asked his question he was only asking about the physical attribute. You may not agree with what he means by hot but you know what it means to him and probably majority of the population. I think many of us know he'd like his question answered with "HIS" definition of "more attractive" vs "less attractive", not yours.

 

 

Thanks for being honest. OK, for clarification "hot" means looking like a beauty pageant winner - nice body and overall good looks. And contrary to what posters have said "hot" is not dependent on age - I have seen plenty of very hot 40-something women in California. Take Angelina Jolie as an example of an older hottie.

[8inches 15]

If you want to see more "size 4 single women" in the lifestyle, you could start by bringing more attractive, intelligent, successful single men into it first. Most of the guys we see now are towel sharks and mouth-breathers who have NEVER brought their wife or girlfriend into our club.

 

-the male half-

 

I have been to several lifestyle clubs and they generally do not allow single men unless you get special permission from the organizers and then you have to be an attractive single male and have recommendations from other couples. If I bring a hot girl with me I can get in with no recommendations and it doesn't matter what I look like....

 

This is the way the lifestyle is where I live.

[NYCTeamOfOne 15]

Well tell us, what DOES he mean by hot????

To many women Brad Pitt is hot. Not to me. In fact, I find him completely unattractive. Same goes for Tom Cruise. HOT has no generic definition!

I think you're being a little naive there bud.

 

I completely understand that you do not think BP and TC are hot but I'd bet everything I own that the vast majority of females on this planet would think that they are hotter than Rob Schneider.

 

I think people often take questions like this too personally or try to be politically correct which is ironic since the lifestyle itself isn't.

 

I am speaking out because I am interested in this question and I want the true answers, not sugar coated one.

[crazycatz 17]

Well I don't know who Rob Schneider is so I can't answer that question.

But I would prefer Jack Black for instance to BP. Even then it's hard to do because for me hot is not something that is solely based on physicality. It's soooo much more than that.

I think that's what the majority of us are trying to say here.

[NYCTeamOfOne 15]

I understand what they are saying here but to the OP it doesn't really matter whether you think hot should or shouldn't solely based on physicality. What matters is he does and he'd like his question answered base solely on physicality.

 

This is the OP's thread and I may be talking too much as is but I'd like to see people able to speak their true mind without feeling guilty or corrected.

[crazycatz 17]

I understand what they are saying here but to the OP it doesn't really matter whether you think hot should or shouldn't solely based on physicality. What matters is he does and he'd like his question answered base solely on physicality.

 

You seem to be missing my point! Some of us CAN'T distinguish! He has an opinion of what is hot or not...and that is based on physicality. Great for him!

But I think the trouble with his question is that he assumes there is a generic category of hot (and you do too)...when in fact, defining 'hotness' is like trying to pin jelly to a wall! What you find hot I might not! Simple as!

[NumbskullsX2 24]

I have been to several lifestyle clubs and they generally do not allow single men unless you get special permission from the organizers and then you have to be an attractive single male and have recommendations from other couples. If I bring a hot girl with me I can get in with no recommendations and it doesn't matter what I look like....

 

This is the way the lifestyle is where I live.

Around here there really aren't any restrictions unless there falling down drunk or the like. I've never seen anyone turned away except for that and causeing trouble in the club.

 

If you bring a woman they treat you like any other couple. She doesn't have to be "hot," just breathing,

[good times 991]

You seem to be missing my point! Some of us CAN'T distinguish! He has an opinion of what is hot or not...and that is based on physicality. Great for him!

But I think the trouble with his question is that he assumes there is a generic category of hot (and you do too)...when in fact, defining 'hotness' is like trying to pin jelly to a wall! What you find hot I might not! Simple as!

I think most everyone here gets your point, but in regards to physical attributes Almost everyone has an opinion of what is hot and what is not to them. In my opinion, to answer the op's question your opinion on what is hot does not need to match his. If your idea of a hot woman includes that she is at least a size 20, then your answer to the question, "Are single females in the lifestyle less "hot" than married females?" is still either yes or no.

[crazycatz 17]

I think most everyone here gets your point, but in regards to physical attributes Almost everyone has an opinion of what is hot and what is not to them. In my opinion, to answer the op's question your opinion on what is hot does not need to match his. If your idea of a hot woman includes that she is at least a size 20, then your answer to the question, "Are single females in the lifestyle less "hot" than married females?" is still either yes or no.

thats my point exactly..but the OP and the one other person seemed to disagree with that and i was just trying to clarify my position on that.

[Chicup 41]

Actually there is 'universal hot' and then 'personal hot'.

 

Lets face it, the women we tend to see on the banner adds, the victorias secret models, the movie starlets when they are properly makeuped are universal hot. Sure there are a few guys who will say they are not interested (when their wife is in earshot) and even fewer who really are not, but most men would think they are quite attractive.

 

Then you have personal hot, something that you really like that a lot of men would not. For me its red heads with that ultra white skin. Maybe its my Irish heritage but to me thats just perfection.

 

This of course has very little to do with the conversation at hand.

[tribbles 490]

Actually here I find it's more age dependent if we want to figure VS models vs others. The younger they are, the more likely they fit that image. At the clubs we have gone to where the crowd is 35 or less, both married and singles are closer to a VS model than anyone over 35.

 

Although a few places with the over 35 crowd, there are some who look like older VS models and there, I'll say they are the married ones, not the singles. Then again, we find more married with boob jobs vs singles (guess who paid for 'em? ) and more married with other surgical 'work' vs the single females. (Unless they used to be married and are now single by way of divorce).

 

I admit at times to wishing a really good survey could be done to tell who has what 'work' done at what age and if they are single vs married at the time.

[NYCTeamOfOne 15]

English isn't my first language and Chicup definitely says it better than I do. I don't want to hijack the thread with any further debate. All I am trying to say is those who are browsing the thread, do not feel guilty or get scared off to say things in your mind and there really is no need to feel apologetic nor sugarcoat it.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I have found that females when part of a couple to be generally in better shape and to have better figures (assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

 

 

The whole debate over what is hot or not, is really beside the point. The real question from the OP (as quoted above) is whether or not females that are part of a couple in the lifestyle are THINNER overall than single females who swing.

 

My answer still remains the same, that it depends on where you are looking... and that yes when looking at ads I would say that a larger portion of ADS from real single female swingers are from girls who would not qualify as model thin. I would also say that the primary reason for that is that larger single female swingers may find it more necessary to place ads and make more attempts to find other ways to meet people than the ads. I would also say (having experienced it) that being a single female swinger is hard enough as far as getting treated like a piece of meat, but if you are on the thinner side of things even moreso, as it seems like every couple even considering a single female pounces on you the second you show up (whether on an ad site or in a club). At least as a larger single female you know they are looking to meet YOU and not just meat you.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Actually there is 'universal hot' and then 'personal hot'.

 

If there is a "universal hot" then it has to be the green alien woman from Star Trek, she's got all the earth girls beat hands down. She was polyamorous with a high domination factor.

 

I do agree that hotness is in the eye of the beholder whether single or married and it doesn't matter which. But, before advertising was a big thing, what was hot? Any history buffs out there?

 

On another note if it hasn't been asked before, what does Chicup stand for if anything?

[NumbskullsX2 24]

I saw something on a message board once that said basically swingers clubs did the same thing for single women that strip clubs did for men - made less-then-average-looking people feel very desirable for a short while. Maybe the writer was on to something - the single women we see at our club DO tend to run on the "thick" side. Don't know about what kinds of guys go to strip clubs though.

 

I think Couples go to swing clubs for different reasons than single women, mainly so they can flirt and maybe play with other people, but also keep an eye on each other while they do it. Maybe thats why their more "normal" sized people.

 

It's just my theory, that's all.

[Chicup 41]

If there is a "universal hot" then it has to be the green alien woman from Star Trek, she's got all the earth girls beat hands down. She was polyamorous with a high domination factor.

 

I do agree that hotness is in the eye of the beholder whether single or married and it doesn't matter which. But, before advertising was a big thing, what was hot? Any history buffs out there?

 

On another note if it hasn't been asked before, what does Chicup stand for if anything?

 

 

There are universal markers of beauty that transcend culture. Symmetry, waist to hip ratios, an 'average' face, flawless skin, are considered beautiful.

 

One interesting thing about beauty is that is average, even if the average isn't beautiful. When faces were 'averaged' so you had the average eye size, width, nose size, lips, cheeks etc, it produced faces that people found very attractive. They also took samples of what most people considered attractive, averaged them and found people found the generated average faces more attractive than the originals.

 

I could go into more of it, but it would take quite a bit of writing.

 

One side note though, is that Rubens is often invoked as some sort of proof that being heavier was once more attractive. Its true that the models of today are thinner than their counterparts in the past but only to a degree. Rubens painted the human form in all its varieties, from overly muscled, to morbidly obese and all phases in between. A quick perusal though of Greek, Roman, Etruscan, Indian, Chinese and Japanese ancient art shows the female form again in the more 'universal' beauty form.

 

Another thing people invoke is the whole 'earth goddess' figurines as some ancient form of beauty. As someone whos wife was recently pregnant, its pretty obvious these figurines are of pregnant women and part of the whole fertility goddess traditions. My wife could have been a model for them.

 

About the only time you see this trend falter is in very poor societies where being over weight is a sign of wealth. This has never been the case that I know of in any western society or for that matter Asian one though I could be wrong. Even in these cultures its less of a beauty thing and more of a dominance thing, a way for the wealthy to distinguish themselves from the poor.

 

From what I've been able to read and observe there has been very little change in the standards of beauty. A idealized roman bust is still beautiful 2000 years later.

 

Chicup was just a short form for Chicago Couple which is where we lived at the time.

[crazycatz 17]

I saw something on a message board once that said basically swingers clubs did the same thing for single women that strip clubs did for men - made less-then-average-looking people feel very desirable for a short while. Maybe the writer was on to something - the single women we see at our club DO tend to run on the "thick" side. Don't know about what kinds of guys go to strip clubs though.

 

I think Couples go to swing clubs for different reasons than single women, mainly so they can flirt and maybe play with other people, but also keep an eye on each other while they do it. Maybe thats why their more "normal" sized people.

 

It's just my theory, that's all.

 

As a bifemale, who has other bifemale friends in the lifestyle....it has NOTHING to do with getting sex for christ sake! Women can get sex anytime, anywhere! Singles, like most couples, (with the exception of a few arsehole single men) because they agree with the principles of swinging...sharing...having sex and all the exploration that goes with it that does not exist in the vanilla world.

 

I was reading a blog once on BBW women which said that they are actually more sexual women, and more confident in their sexuality and in expressing it. So if there are heavier single women in the scene that's likely to be the reason not because they can't get laid otherwise.

[lovinher 505]

Are single females in the lifestyle less "hot" than married females?

 

Well sure! Isn't that why they are single?

There isn't a way to answer this without pissing somebody off.

It's like asking which is more hot, blond or brunette. I think redheads are beat em both.

 

I don't know really but I'm dying to find out.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

As a bifemale, who has other bifemale friends in the lifestyle....it has NOTHING to do with getting sex for christ sake! Women can get sex anytime, anywhere! Singles, like most couples, (with the exception of a few arsehole single men) because they agree with the principles of swinging...sharing...having sex and all the exploration that goes with it that does not exist in the vanilla world.

 

I was reading a blog once on BBW women which said that they are actually more sexual women, and more confident in their sexuality and in expressing it. So if there are heavier single women in the scene that's likely to be the reason not because they can't get laid otherwise.

The post I was talking about didn't say they went there to get sex, it said they went there to get attention. If you think about it, it makes sense. I've seen it happen many times. Women who are maybe a little older or on the heavy side are surrounded by single men and couples when they're at a swing club. Yes they could have sex anywhere, they just might not have as much choice about who it would be with.

 

I'm not blaming them for going where the getting is good, just making the comment is all. I had a friend in high school who "didn't date much" as we all used to say. She joined the Navy and was stationed on a ship where SURPRISE! she suddenly became VERY popular. Same thing here, IMHO

 

One other thing is I don't think swinging is the only place singles can share sex or "explore" alternate lifestyles. I have single friends (M&F) and some of their sex lives are as wild as any swingers we know. They're always getting in to or out of FB (or FWB) relationships and even occasional 3-somes or bi- experiences with people they met in bars or on the internet. The more successful they are there, the less likely you are to see them here.

 

If you go back and read some of the archive posts here by single M&F you see the same thing, which is that they're getting all the sex they want in any flavor they want in the vanilla world. (which maybe isn't so vanilla after all?)

[absingleman 178]

Are single females who swing less hot than married women who swing? Yes they are.

 

It has nothing to do with her looks but her attitude. Single women in the lifestyle generally have no use for single men in the lifestyle unless they want to go to an event where no singles are allowed. Usually the single woman will find a single man she trusts escort her. If that fails, she will find a husband who has a wife that will let him escort her. Failing that, she decides to do something else that weekend. She will usually find a single man, however. Why? Because she's a woman that wants to do something sexual and it takes very little effort to find a willing male accompliss(why can't I spell this year?)

Accomplace. Acomplace. Accomplice....

 

dammit...partner in crime.

 

whew.

 

Okay. Where was I? Oh, yeah. A single woman interested and active in swinging is usually going to do things to attract OTHER WOMEN FIRST, and maybe their husbands second. That means that everything from pictures to how they carry themselves at events is going to be designed to draw the attention of women, not men. Because of that, even Mariah Carey (my person definition of hot) would seem unattractive. Not because the physical attributes are not there, but they are not being used to grab and keep my attention. Even in pictures, subtle differences in the way a person tilts their head or opens or squints their eyes are going to be very attractive to one sex and almost comical or "What-the-hell-is-that-person-think-is-attractive-about-that" to the other. Case in point, all my pictures have a half smile where I'm looking across my body, not straight ahead, because women find that more attractive than men. Don't know why, but it always works. Tuesday a woman gave me half of her sandwich at the coffee shop because I looked at her that way. If it was a guy, he would have punched me out, and with good reason.

 

uh, did I over think that?

[iapr 24]

There are universal markers of beauty that transcend culture. Symmetry, waist to hip ratios, an 'average' face, flawless skin, are considered beautiful.

 

One interesting thing about beauty is that is average, even if the average isn't beautiful. When faces were 'averaged' so you had the average eye size, width, nose size, lips, cheeks etc, it produced faces that people found very attractive. They also took samples of what most people considered attractive, averaged them and found people found the generated average faces more attractive than the originals.

 

I could go into more of it, but it would take quite a bit of writing.

 

One side note though, is that Rubens is often invoked as some sort of proof that being heavier was once more attractive. Its true that the models of today are thinner than their counterparts in the past but only to a degree. Rubens painted the human form in all its varieties, from overly muscled, to morbidly obese and all phases in between. A quick perusal though of Greek, Roman, Etruscan, Indian, Chinese and Japanese ancient art shows the female form again in the more 'universal' beauty form.

 

Another thing people invoke is the whole 'earth goddess' figurines as some ancient form of beauty. As someone whos wife was recently pregnant, its pretty obvious these figurines are of pregnant women and part of the whole fertility goddess traditions. My wife could have been a model for them.

 

About the only time you see this trend falter is in very poor societies where being over weight is a sign of wealth. This has never been the case that I know of in any western society or for that matter Asian one though I could be wrong. Even in these cultures its less of a beauty thing and more of a dominance thing, a way for the wealthy to distinguish themselves from the poor.

 

From what I've been able to read and observe there has been very little change in the standards of beauty. A idealized roman bust is still beautiful 2000 years later.

 

Chicup was just a short form for Chicago Couple which is where we lived at the time.

 

 

I love your phrase "personal hot" and it is so true!! I also agree with your "universal hot" statements. There are some traits of beauty that change with the fashions and the times (we could call this "Media Hot") and there are others that truly are universal and have been cross cultural and have shown no variation over time.

 

The overal size of models of beauty have gone up and down and back over time but the mathmatical hip to waist ratio has remained constant throughout time and over different cultures as has clear skin, high cheek bones, shiney hair etc etc.

 

 

Getting back to "personal hot" though I have experienced this a number of times in the lifesyle. I have run into women I have gone gaw-gaw over and followed around like a lost puppy dog and while they were attractive women they by no means would have ever been on any magazine cover. I think part of being in the lifestyle is recognizing and appreciating the beauty of interpersonal chemistry. When the reaction occurs it is an awesome thing:)

[KinkyKat 25]

Hi,

 

I personally don't know why a single woman would 'hang' at swinger events at all unless she is only looking for attention and for some reason isn't able to attract that for herself eleswhere. Why would that be?

 

by Numbskullsx2 If you go back and read some of the archive posts here by single M&F you see the same thing, which is that they're getting all the sex they want in any flavor they want in the vanilla world. (which maybe isn't so vanilla after all?)

 

Believe me I know that the 'vanilla world' is a term used by couples who swing. Being single I or my partner can attract & be involved in any kind of sexual senerio we wanted, I could have a harem of men to see separately or all together for Fun! There is So much sex available for someone who is single. This is the thing that gets me. Both my partner & myself know what fun we can get into on our own its soooo easy! Its much easier on your own, but then your missing out on the naughty sharing relationship that a single isn't experiencing.

 

Single women Can get sex anywhere easily unless as someone asked originally are they less hot, Maybe they think they are less hot. Men aren't even as picky when it comes to a partner just for sex. so lack confidence in getting sex or attention on their own must be the reason . There are plently of potential partners (FB) that are out there that are willing to have no strings attached sex.

 

(I know this women who attended these things and answered ads & what got her off was that when she got with a couple she always bragged that the man of the couple was always more into her than his own wife and that he want her on the side too! Like an Ego boost for her to feel valuable in some weird way)

 

It is easier for a single woman to get some fun in the single world than a single male, so I believe that it would make more sense for a male to attend these events than a woman, but thats not how the swingers world is set up.

 

We as partners have given up on attending swinger events,(at least in our area) its a waste of time for us. We have more luck in the 'vanalla world'(people just seem more open & relaxed) just like when we were single. So the women may or may not be less hot, but I think its that they think they have the confidence to attend a swing event alone, then go out to a club alone.

 

just my opinion. KinkyKat

[sweet_tna 680]

No flaming from me, iapr. What you said made perfect sense. So did LM in pointing out same goes for couples.

 

And ncmd: THANK YOU from the bottom of a size 12 gal's heart.