Pet Peeves in Swinger Personal Ads

[SnozzberryBlu 83]

It doesn't take much profile reading to come across overused/overrated cliches and phrases in swinger profiles... and I SO hate using/reading cliches! Here are a few just from this morning's surfing....

 

- We are not Ken and Barbie

- Cum out and play

- We can go all night

- ...that just won't quit

- Notches in the headboard

- Won't take one for the team

- Well hung

- No drama

 

Can you add to the list? Or do you have other pet peeves when reading profiles, things that turn you off before you even get to email a person? I think a little honest critiquing here could be really helpful in writing a great profile

[AwakeInFairfax 29]

One I see a LOT is "NO SINGLE MEN!".

 

:'(

[BiloxiCouple 695]

"Very oral..."

"Blah, blah, blah, looking for same." If I wanted the "same" I would do my wife. I want different, then I want my wife.

[good times 991]

One I see a LOT is "NO SINGLE MEN!".

 

If this statement turns you off to the profile then it would appear that this one actually works as intended.

 

It is funny, I see all of these statements and overused clichés too, but very few of them would turn me off to someone on their own. Judging by how often you see them in profiles, I can't imagine that very many folks would decide not to contact someone based only on the fact that their profile included one of these statements. If they did, their choices sure would be limited.

 

Maybe it would improve profiles if people were to leave these statements out, then again, it really doesn't make much difference to me. I also have to admit, it may be useful to have a few of these clichés included to weed out someone who finds the clichés themselves offensive enough to not want to meet.

[SnozzberryBlu 83]

Well... not implying here that a cliche or two would turn us off. An entire profile full of them, however, to me is an insight into their vocabulary and creativity lol... as for profile turn offs/other pet peeves... all caps, one sentence info, blatant bigoted profiles, awful (not just rusty) grammar and spelling, overly boastful...

 

 

It's also a turn off to start talking to people who have contacted us, only to find - usually very quickly - that they didn't read the profile to start with... ugh! LOL

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

In Texas back in the late 1980's, "no blacks" was a very common phrase in some regional swingers magazines. Thankfully, we rarely see that anymore.

[good times 991]

Well... not implying here that a cliche or two would turn us off. An entire profile full of them, however, to me is an insight into their vocabulary and creativity lol... as for profile turn offs/other pet peeves... all caps, one sentence info, blatant bigoted profiles, awful (not just rusty) grammar and spelling, overly boastful...

 

 

It's also a turn off to start talking to people who have contacted us, only to find - usually very quickly - that they didn't read the profile to start with... ugh! LOL

I agree, while I don't take one or two statements as a indicator of compatibility, taken with the profile as a whole, they will often give an indicator of the mindset of the person writing the profile. Often times it will make us pass on someone for the reasons you stated, and in that way I think that having included these statements is actually useful. Although, probably not in the manner the person writing the profile intended.

[WesternSwing 504]

One I see a LOT is "NO SINGLE MEN!".

 

:'(

How about "NO SINGLE MEN" over and over through the profile?

[WesternSwing 504]

I agree, while I don't take one or two statements as a indicator of compatibility, taken with the profile as a whole, they will often give an indicator of the mindset of the person writing the profile. Often times it will make us pass on someone for the reasons you stated, and in that way I think that having included these statements is actually useful. Although, probably not in the manner the person writing the profile intended.

I agree. Too many cliches in the profile shouts "we will become your drama, just give us the chance".

[WesternSwing 504]

No Fakes

Looking for real people

Love to give and receive oral

[fun4Ds 1,098]

To be honest, long never-ending profiles can be a bit much.

 

We understand that couples like to give warning sometimes. we understand. We really do.

 

But, most stuff they want to convey, we probably wouldn't do anyhow or are aware of normal boundaries. We have a few.

 

If yada,yada, yada... we're not your type.

Yada yada yada... we're not your type.

And then more yada yada yada. pass us by.

 

Ok, we probably just did, thank you .

[Chicup 41]

- We are not Ken and Barbie

Fat

 

- Cum out and play

Sleezy

 

- We can go all night

Performance issues.

 

- ...that just won't quit

Won't leave you alone at house party.

 

- Notches in the headboard

Haven't had much luck finding partners.

 

- Won't take one for the team

Woman very picky.

 

- Well hung

Average

 

- No drama

Will be flakey.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

"no pic traders" - as if saying that is really going to keep one away. Really are they going to admit they are just looking to get your pics?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

- We are not Ken and Barbie

Fat

 

- Cum out and play

Sleezy

 

- We can go all night

Performance issues.

 

- ...that just won't quit

Won't leave you alone at house party.

 

- Notches in the headboard

Haven't had much luck finding partners.

 

- Won't take one for the team

Woman very picky.

 

- Well hung

Average

 

- No drama

Will be flakey.

 

Cliche's and what they mean!!! Great!!!

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

"drug and disease free"

"discretion is a must"

"no pushy people"

[Dynamar 246]

• Must be discrete (sic)
  
• Misuse of the apostrophe
  
• Poor spelling, grammar and punctuation
  

[BiloxiCouple 695]

We are real, you be to.

[des1re06 200]

Not really a cliche, but frequent email

 

"My wife is picky, so we wont meet you until you send us pics to xyz@yahoo.com...."

 

I admit I've fallen for this one, but only sent G rated pics with faces blocked.

 

I see a couple of cliches in our profile, so I best go edit.

 

 

Mrs. D

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Select couples and singles.

 

Living life to the fullest.

 

We do not play with BI MALES.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We are real, you be to.

And its variant -- We R real, U B 2.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

-- Want to add spice to our lives.

-- Have a really great sex life, want to make it better.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

In Texas back in the late 1980's, "no blacks" was a very common phrase in some regional swingers magazines. Thankfully, we rarely see that anymore.

We were always saddened when we read something like that in a swinger's magazine. To give credit to Patti Thomas, she would not accept personal profiles in any of her magazines that implied an exclusion of this kind.

 

Michael

[Tia Vampire 167]

HWP

We are not Ken and Barbie

 

We know these cliches are put into profiles because of the couple's wants, but man does it make it hard to weed through what we want. Sometimes it makes the couple seem stuck up or stuck on themselves. Do you mean just because we are not HWP, you don't even want to get to know us? Why does everyone compare themselves to a pair of doll models anyway?

 

Chicup, those translations are so true.

[Cpl2share 147]

While discretion is a must in this lifestyle due to the prejudicial opinions of mainstream society, there are some who need to be even more discrete than others. The couple who lives 300 miles from family and works from home through computer has a much less concern about family or co-workers (who do not exist for them) than the couple who lives next door to family and runs a family oriented walk in retail business in a small town. Although we do not exactly fit the latter description, we do both have high profile jobs and would immediately lose them if word about our extracurricular activities got out. For this reason we do mention discretion in our profiles. We do not post any pictures, and we will only trade a fully clothed "public domain" picture until we get to know another couple, and are ready to meet them.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Cliche: Wife is bi with the right woman.

 

Uh, doesn't that mean you're bi? I wouldn't say that I'm straight with only the right man, but I'm only going to have sex with men that are 'right'.

 

Pepper

[Chicup 41]

Pepper & Drew said:

Cliche: Wife is bi with the right woman.

 

Uh, doesn't that mean you're bi? I wouldn't say that I'm straight with only the right man, but I'm only going to have sex with men that are 'right'.

 

Pepper

 

Oh that's a good one.

[iapr 24]

The cliche that screams "newbie" to me is, "we are not looking to replace our current partner."

 

I think that it is so entrenched in the vanilla mind that any kind of sexual interest in other than your own spouse means that there is a dissatisfaction and that people are wanting to find someone else. therefor they feel the need to publically state that they are not wanting to replace their mate.

 

At least that is the reason we had that cliche in our very first profile:)

[cocpl2007 170]

While discretion is a must in this lifestyle due to the prejudicial opinions of mainstream society, there are some who need to be even more discrete than others. The couple who lives 300 miles from family and works from home through computer has a much less concern about family or co-workers (who do not exist for them) than the couple who lives next door to family and runs a family oriented walk in retail business in a small town. Although we do not exactly fit the latter description, we do both have high profile jobs and would immediately lose them if word about our extracurriuclar activities got out. For this reason we do mention discretion in our profiles. We do not post any pictures, and we will only trade a fully clothed "public domain" picture until we get to know another couple, and are ready to meet them.

 

Very understandable. We have found ourselves in this situation and there seems to be a perception by not posting pictures and "asking" right up front for discretion that something is amiss.

 

The cliche which has caught us more than others is HWP not Ken and Barbie. Another is "We are a fun couple"...so does that make the rest of us Un-Fun?

 

Although not a cliche, but equally annoying is when only one part of a "couple" participates in the quest for others. The non-participant then just has veto power with nothing invested, offers nothing...doesn't work for us. It takes four to be two couples!

[SnozzberryBlu 83]

Cliche: Wife is bi with the right woman.

 

Uh, doesn't that mean you're bi? I wouldn't say that I'm straight with only the right man, but I'm only going to have sex with men that are 'right'.

 

Pepper

 

I always think this one is funny I translate it to mean "If I have to do it, she's gotta be this and this and this and." (insert: really good looking; aggressive cuz I don't know what I'm doing; passive so I can stay in control; someone who will go down on me and I don't have to return the favor; etc... there is something she has to "be"... other than who she is ... and what's good enough for hubby is not necessarily good enough for her lol)

 

For me, the "right" woman is one who is bi because that is who she is, not because she is trying to please hubby. God what awkward situations those are!

[swingcouple69 25]

Uh oh...I have the Ken and Barbie one in ours...I put it there mostly because I'm only 4'11" and he is almost 6'4"...I had a couple that we met once say to me "I thought you'd be taller!" duh...apparently they didn't read the profile...or skipped the "stat" part. How tall did they thing that 4'11" is if they did read it? Let me tell ya...its not that tall! Geesh I'm going to take out the Ken and Barbie part...I didn't know that people didn't like that. Thanks for the info!

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Ken isn't much taller than Barbie in their reality

[swingcouple69 25]

Well I kinda think that we're abnormal....I mean truly how many 4'11" women do you see? Especially married to a guy who's 6'4"? Since we've been married people have always commented on the height difference. A close friend once told us that when we are nose to nose, my toes are in it and when we're toes to toes, my nose is in it...lol. I do truly wish I was taller...*sigh* but I think Hubby likes it when were "toes to toes...lol

[starryeyes 23]

Ok... now we have a few questions.... (got us thinking, dangerous very dangerous)

 

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

Should we create a poll for this or is there already one?

[Dynamar 246]

Yes, yes, yes and yes. Call me a snob, but I pass on those who cannot spell or use correct grammar or punctuation.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I can deal with to an extent. An occasional misspelling or typo doesn't bother me. There are words that I know I misspell 90% of the time and I do try to catch them, but I knowing that I try to be forgiving of the same in others. What really annoys me is when people use text speak. It's fine for texting - unless you have Palm or a Blackberry or some other phone with a full keyboard, but it should not carry over to other forms of communication.

[swingcouple69 25]

starryeyes said:

Ok... now we have a few questions.... (got us thinking, dangerous very dangerous)

 

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

Should we create a poll for this or is there already one?

 

I don't know that any of these are offensive alone. When someone messages, doesn't use periods, capital letters, non stop "text style" wording that can sometimes be a problem for me. We may or may not give a "we're not interested response" depending on the profile. But if the subject of the message is similar to one I recently received "hey hun" or the first line of the message is something like "ya wanna fuck". Its a pretty sure bet that they are going to get a "no thank you" response from us.

 

Simply because we're not looking just to have sex with as many people as we can. We're looking for people that we can be friends with too. We have kids and we have picnics that we invite our swinging friends and our families to. We're not "crass" or rude people and we really wouldn't want to be friends with "crass" or rude people, let alone expose them to our families.

 

Is that stupid?

[sexcupid 809]

Ok... now we have a few questions.... (got us thinking, dangerous very dangerous)

 

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

Should we create a poll for this or is there already one?

 

I'm not offended per se...but it drives me batty when common words are misspelled. Like supercalifragilisticexpealidocious. Ok, sorry...I'm just entertaining myself there. I know it's easy to transpose letters, like 'teh' instead of 'the'. If you are the one typing it up, let the hubby read it before posting it so he can proofread it.

 

Out of context words do get to me a little. I assume you are talking about words that sound the same, but have different definitions? Like instead of aesthetically pleasing, they write ascetically pleasing? Not to be mean about it, but if you don't know the definition/use of a 'big' word...don't use it. I'm not trying to be ugly with that statement, it won't impress me if you use it incorrectly.

 

I do prefer words to be spelled out and I don't really like receiving an 'text-style' message, unless of course it is an actual text message.

 

Am I picky? Do I critique profiles or email people to tell them what is wrong in their profiles or emails they send? Um, no. That would be kind of rude unless they asked me to do so.

 

Maria

[warkman 31]

I think in forum thread posts, neither occasional misspelling nor occasional bad grammar, given the cut and paste nature of word processing, is a turn off. Like Julie, text speak annoys me. Malapropisms and other incorrect word usage incite possibly undue snobby discrimination in me. It doesn't mean that the person isn't nice, good, or smart. It just elicits a feeling of discomfort that would most likely make me look elsewhere. Folks tend to look for others who share similar backgrounds, be it religious beliefs, level of education, political viewpoints, etc. What those thresholds are vary greatly from one person to another. In a personal ad, however, I would hope to put my best foot forward and carefully, thoughtfully, put myself out there with one that was thoroughly proofread.

[edmustang 19]

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

Should we create a poll for this or is there already one?

 

Me...sometimes...YES!...yes...sure.

 

I'm on board with you, starryeyes. Occasional misspellings or misuse of words is okay, so is the occasional common colloquialism; like "kinda", or "gimme". But when you've read a message or ad twice and are still not sure of what was being said, that's just sloppy. (See, I even started a sentence with a conjunction! The stick up my butt is pretty small! Conjunction Junction...what's your function?... ;-) )

 

I see it all the time on eBay and on SLS. No doubt I'll get flamed for this, but I've noticed that it's more prevalent in people from the Midwest.

 

You may now start casting stones...

[WesternSwing 504]

I wouldn't say we are offended by such things, but it does drive us crazy because it makes the profile very hard to read and also gives us an idea of how much care and concern they put into writing it, which could carry over into other aspects of our relationship with them - whatever it may be.

 

An incomplete profile or one that just says "Just ask me" under each section is even more annoying.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

you won't be disappointed....

[The Fuse 1,012]

I am a snob about many things, but...

 

I'm not looking to marry the people whose ads I read. If I can understand them, a certain amount of bad grammar and number of spelling errors is okay. Some of the smartest people I know can't spell. I always prefer someone who has facility with the language, but I already am too picky -- I'm not going to add that kind of stuff to the list of things that make me say "No way!" until it interferes with communication enough to annoy me.

[travcouple 15]

edmustang said:

Conjunction Junction...what's your function?... ;-

 

hooking up words and phrases and clauses

[Ellyanne77 81]

I can over look misspelled words, but I have a real problem with people who talk or type like they were off an episode of Rosanne. I live in the south and think that there is nothing as sexy as the eloquent southern draw of a woman's voice, but there is a big difference between that and sounding like the lady at the grocery store yelling at her children like an illiterate hick. I actually got an email on SLS telling us to check out his "Ole Lady". It made me throw up in my mouth a little.

[lovenestduo 74]

Regional "quirks" and even broken English doesn't bother us. Spelling does, mainly because it's hard to find a program that doesn't have spell check nowadays. Do we not deserve the little time required for you to right-click on all those red underlined words? And don't even get us started on "text speak". Those people deserve their own little place in hell.

[swingcouple69 25]

you won't be disappointed....

 

I'm sorry but now I'm confused..its the blonde coming out in me I think...

[sexcupid 809]

I actually got an email on SLS telling us to check out his "Ole Lady".

 

This is something that folks from my part of Ohio used to say. Of course, my sweetie uses it to. In reference to me...which I find highly ironic since I'm 14 years younger than him. It still drives me nuts though. Sheesh, call me the live in, playtoy, girlfriend, whatever...but not old lady. lmao

 

But I think he says 'old' and not 'ole'...although that makes me think of o le, like a Spanish word. lol

 

Maria

[des1re06 200]

Spelling and grammar are a big deal, as well as one liners in profiles.

 

Hubby just looks at the pictures.

 

The profile review post here is one of the best tools I've seen for helping to fix this problem. Newbies take note:

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/25745-couples-profile-reviews/

 

Mrs. D

[petra6998 15]

I personal hate it when there is words spelled wrong in the tag lines. If you can't take enough thought to spell the tag line right why would I want to look in the profile. A few words spelled wrong in the profile is fine. But it drives me nuts in the tag line. I don't mind the use of slang words and that in the profile or when we are chatting or even words spelled wrong in chats because I do it when I am trying to type fast or I am thinking faster than I type.

 

I hate being called the "Old Lady" my husband started calling me that when we were dating for only 3 months and I made it a point that I am not his old lady and if he wants a old lady he can look elsewhere, well I haven't heard him say that in the past 12 years.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

I saw one in a description the other day that had the woman listed at 5 feet 4 inches and 50 pounds.

 

Okay, what is wrong with this picture? Wouldn't you at least get the weight right?