Pet Peeves in Swinger Personal Ads

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I saw one in a description the other day that had the woman listed at 5 feet 4 inches and 50 pounds.

 

Okay, what is wrong with this picture? Wouldn't you at least get the weight right?

 

Maybe she was just anorexic! REALLY anorexic.

[rpu3 630]

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Depends on the quantity of misspelled words, in relation to grammar. No one is perfect. On the flip side, I can be just as offended by the spelling/grammar police. I'm pretty pissed off when I get a PM about one spelling error or poor turn of phrase (from those who are not real-life friends that are teasing me) when, for the most part, I am pretty conscientious about spelling and grammar.

 

In any case, I do try to spell correctly and use proper grammar on our profiles and in my postings on various boards and I prefer to read posts/profiles in which the writer uses the same care.

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Same as above - an occasional misstep isn't offensive, but 20 of them in a post or profile is annoying to me.

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

All caps, all bold, all red or green or whatever makes my eyes hurt.

 

My spouse is guilty of the lower case as a "style". I loathe that. For crying out loud, he's an educator, and I don't think it's a good "example" at all to his students. He thinks it conveys his informality and his openness to providing help to his students. I think it conveys laziness in using the shift key and belies his skill and education level.

 

So my answer is yes, text style does mean something to me and can annoy or engage me.

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

The occasional well known acronym is not offensive/annoying to me. But an entire profile written in classified ad style is not enjoyable to read. YMMV, of course.

[TNT 1,155]

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Depends on what word it is...but usually no, the occasional misspelled word does not bother me.

 

I do have a huge problem with the first word of a sentence not being capitalized. I'm not the best at grammar/spelling but I do try and the occasional mishap in either is no big deal. It's the simple things that should have been learned in 1st grade that drives me batty.

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Yes...discreet and discrete are words when used in the wrong context will literally make Ted and I beat our heads up against the wall.

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

HATE IT!!! I don't text so I have no idea what the hell all those letters jumbled together are suppose to mean. Even when I am IM'ing someone I spell everything out.

 

I've often said to Ted that the internet and the ability to text people have created a whole new language...one I don't speak or read.

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

See above answer.

 

 

Teresa

[VegasLee 1,486]

I am going to be the first to admit that many times my spelling sucks. I have been typing so long that I get going to fast and mess it up. I have got better about trying to correct things but sometimes words just come out wrong.

 

I do not like on line short hand. I feel if you are trying to hook up at least you can spell the words out. If I get a message from someone "I C U lik 2 fuk" chances are I am going to delete it and not take the time to figure out who the person is. If I am not worth the time to type it out then chances are they are not worth my time to talk to.

 

I am working on the spelling though.

[cocpl2007 170]

"Wall eye’ve bean a’ tryan ta sea whare eye kood gro wyth tis’n!"

 

Now having said that, we are equally turned off by the grammar and misspellings. It reflects on what we view the posters outlook toward finding whatever it is they are seeking. If they are indeed serious and caring they would take the time to develop a profile which reflects just that.

[edmustang 19]

... take the time to develop a profile which reflects just that.

 

Or just proofread what they wrote.

[hamlet 53]

I'm an English professor. I grade hundreds of student papers each year. If I were "offended" by misspellings and grammatical errors, I'd spend my life in a perpetual snit. With literacy dying everywhere in the culture, it's not so much that I respond negatively to badly written profiles and/or messages, but rather that my heart leaps up whenever I find one written in complete, and somewhat correct, sentences. If someone can write coherently, it gives us hope that conversation may be possible before and after the sex part of the evening. But, otherwise, it doesn't much matter.

[Tybee Swing 286]

A few random typos are understandable, but if the profile is poorly written overall and sounds illiterate, I'll assume that the person writing it is either genuinely illiterate or lazy. The worse it is, the more likely I won't be interested in writing them. For me, there are degrees and gray areas. I won't immediately write them off after the second typo. If they're cute, I might allow them three.

[purpletiger 25]

Ok... now we have a few questions.... (got us thinking, dangerous very dangerous)

 

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

Should we create a poll for this or is there already one?

 

I've read the responses and now have more questions:rolleyes:?

 

Are you talking about friends, profiles, or initial emails?

 

Friends - None of these would be an issue. I know they know better and are either having fun with a word, or trying to type a quick response.

 

Profiles - Well, these should have been thought out, read, and re-read. There may still be a typo, but your profile says who you are to anyone reading it. It should have words spelled out. Acronyms can mean several things.

 

Emails (until we know each other) - These have more leeway than a profile, but it should still be coherent.

 

Put it all together, if it's a bad email, and a poorly written profile, then chances are good there will be a "No Thanks" as the reply.

[sweet_tna 680]

Ok... now we have a few questions.... (got us thinking, dangerous very dangerous)

 

How many of you are offended by misspelled words?

 

Or words used out of context?

 

Or by "text style" wording (not to be confused with textile... refer to previous question)?

 

Do you prefer words to be spelled out?

 

Should we create a poll for this or is there already one?

 

None of these things really offend me. But if we're talking about profiles: Misspelled words are a pet peeve of mine. I can live with a few (no one is perfect), but if they use a lot of words they cannot spell, I'm probably going to pass on that profile.

 

The same goes for words used out of context. If done in a humorous manner, I'm fine with it. But the majority of times I've noticed this, it's because the people using these words don't really know what they mean.

 

Again, in a profile, I do prefer the words to be spelled out, though a few commonly accepted abbreviations are tolerable.

 

"Text style" . . . if you're referring to profiles written in "IM" language, then YES that bugs me. If you're referring to the (heavy and unnecessary) use of all caps, bold face, and/or colored text, the answer is also yes. I tend to find it distracting.

 

I feel similarly about these things with initial emails, though I'm slightly less picky. In IM's, I accept that these rules are thrown out the window and am fine. It's intended to be a less formal means of communication.

 

=)

[The Fuse 1,012]

A few random typos are understandable, but if the profile is poorly written overall and sounds illiterate, I'll assume that the person writing it is either genuinely illiterate or lazy. The worse it is, the more likely I won't be interested in writing them. For me, there are degrees and gray areas. I won't immediately write them off after the second typo. If they're cute, I might allow them three.

Very well put!

[Cerberus 16]

Not me I misspell all the time. It doesnt make me unattractive or uneducated.

[Swingercast 91]

Not really a pet peeve but something I find amusing....

 

I've noticed a lot of profiles that say, "She is multi-orgasmic".

 

I just shake my head and think, "Duh, she is a girl, after all".

 

John

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

A profile that says:

 

"we are beginning to think this site is full of game players and fakes, where are all the real swingers? If anyone is interested, drop us a line"

 

Yes they never respond to messages (whether personal or related to events set up as part of a group that they opted to join).

[MrkLin 393]

As mentioned before in other threads, people who don't fill out their stats or at least post a vanilla pic of themselves.

 

Think about it - if you're not comfortable enough with yourself as you are, how can you be comfortable getting naked with someone else for the first time?

[SexyRedmondCpl 128]

People who post as single women or men who, within the first paragraph or so, turn out to actually be a couple. And generally a couple in which only the oppositely-gendered partner actually plays.

 

Don't know why, but we've seen a lot of these lately.

[slevin 1,374]

People who post as single women or men who, within the first paragraph or so, turn out to actually be a couple. And generally a couple in which only the oppositely-gendered partner actually plays.

 

Don't know why, but we've seen a lot of these lately.

 

Yeah we have contacted a number of 'single women' who, after sending them an email, let us know that they have a boyfriend or husband that they play with. We play with couples so that is no big deal, but for some reason the fact that they put up a single woman ad really irks us. Most often it's someone we probably would have sent an email to if they had been a couples ad. As soon as we find hear they aren't really a single girl, we lose interest though.

 

The other thing we steer clear of as well are couples profiles that have a line saying that the male half is free to play on his own. We've talked to a couple of those and it always ends up seeming like a guy trying to play on his own without his spouses knowledge. So now we just ignore those.

[crazi429 16]

Being new to this and set up as a couple now CrazinRed We get a lot of couple responses that only have male photos. Several have actually stated male only plays. Well then thats not a couple. I my self have very strong belief in trust so I don't want anything to do with someone cheating on there other half.

[MrkLin 393]

We're friends with a couple with an SLS profile that lists only the lady as a single female. The reason for this because he doesn't play. He loves to watch, and that's all he does. We've known them for almost 9 years now, and Lin has been with him twice - and then she basically had to ambush him. They're up front about him, but figure that since she's the only one who actually does anything, they're not really false advertising. Dunno if I agree with that, but it works for them.

[Willing29 66]

I have an issue with people who either don't have any photos or just one showing boobs, legs or something like that. Also it bothers us if there are only photos of the female and nothing of the male half of a couple, what is that supposed to be like bait!

[PB&J 1,086]

I just returned two keys to people who thought we'd really want to know what their intimate bits looked like- again and again. Even though our ad says "no points for shots of the "equipment- we're looking for personality" Oh wait- maybe their equipment IS their personality.

[K&JIntimates 66]

Singles who are actually couples. This is confusing and I don't always see the reasoning behind it.

Photos of only the female half. Especially if they've posted that they will only respond to others with photos of BOTH parties. I mean wtf??! If you're going to post that, don't be a hypocrite.

Photos that are exclusively of body parts. Unless you're planning on wearing something that show just those parts, we'd like to see the rest of you.

Profiles where there are no photos of the couple together, preferably G rated.

Profiles that feel the need to state repeatedly about HWP, hot, super fit, fit...ect. This is particularly annoying when you can tell that they aren't necessarily 'fit' (as in toned) themselves or only one half could fall into what could be considered fit.

Can you tell I have an issue with hypocrisy?

Profiles that write IN ALL CAPS. Stop shouting!

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

Profiles that write IN ALL CAPS. Stop shouting!

 

We HATE that too, fortunately there are very few of them out there. We like to see face pics, and we understand that many people cannot post them on their profile. However, there is no reason that we can think of not to email a g-rated face pic if you're willing to meet someone in person.

[MrkLin 393]

We like to see face pics, and we understand that many people cannot post them on their profile. However, there is no reason that we can think of not to email a g-rated face pic if you're willing to meet someone in person.

 

The public pics on our profile show quite a bit, so we have mostly face pics in our Private Pics. That way we can give people access to face pics without uploading or e-mailing them. Anything racier than what's already in our public pics (and there are quite a few) are in our Personal Galleries. Most of those galleries are reserved for people we play with, with one or two exceptions.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Ads that are negative and hate everything.

 

Then want to say how laid back they are, easy going or open-minded.

[slevin 1,374]

Just thought of another one: couples that say they are looking for couples, but are really just wanting to find a single girl. They talk about meeting a couple, but don't seem to be interested in talking to the male half, don't ask about him really at all and if met in person almost ignore him while focusing on the female half. We sniff those out pretty quickly now, but if you're not actually interested in both parties of the couple, then don't say you're looking for couples!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

A little silly (thus a pet peeve), but I take issue with spelling errors.

 

An error on a commonly misspelled word is no biggie, but if the entire profile is so bad that it is difficult to read, then it's a problem for me. I've looked at profiles where it appears that every word has been written phonetically.

 

 

 

 

 

(triple checks own post for errors)

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

A little silly (thus a pet peeve), but I take issue with spelling errors.

 

An error on a commonly misspelled word is no biggie, but if the entire profile is so bad that it is difficult to read, then it's a problem for me. I've looked at profiles where it appears that every word has been written phonetically.

 

(triple checks own post for errors)

 

 

I've seen several where on initial view they were attractive then after reading their profile and finding it full of spelling and grammar errors, I quickly became uninterested.

[PB&J 1,086]

I've seen several where on initial view they were attractive then after reading their profile and finding it full of spelling and grammar errors, I quickly became uninterested.

 

Yes, and when it's an ad that's been up for a long time, and they keep updating, without correcting the errors?? grrr.

[dodgechevy 149]

Not necessarily an AD peeve. But we HATE, when people contact us without opening up pics. We have no problem doing the same, but if your writing first, open the pics first.

 

Hell we even had people write saying that they won't open pics until we open ours first!

[N8ture Girl 318]

My peeves are:

1. Pics of only the female, where's the other half? I wanna see!

2. Only one pic and its of a one big boob

3. Major grammar errors and the use of no punctuation (

4. Too many things the couple doesnt want or like and using up their character limit to say so, and saying it crudely, and even saying what they do want in a crude manner. What a turn off, but to each their own I guess.

5. And lastly the tag lines saying "is there anyone here for real?????"

[two4youinswva 3,068]

"we are beginning to think this site is full of game players and fakes, where are all the real swingers? If anyone is interested, drop us a line"

And lastly the tag lines saying "is there anyone here for real?????"

 

Usually when you see an ad on SLS with a tag-line similar to this, you can pretty much guarantee the three profiles above and below this one are of certified members.

[N8ture Girl 318]

Oh I forgot one..... they weigh 0, that's an amazing diet!

[PB&J 1,086]

Last spring, there was a couple posting on a site we'd just joined as newbies. They'd update 5 times a day to be at the top, it was all in caps, full of errors, would sometimes include minimum length requirements, would be posting that they were in such-and-such a town that weekend and available, growing increasingly more and more shrill as time went on, wondering where all the real swingers were, was everyone on the site fakes? It was like watching an accident... fascinating but horrifying.

 

Meanwhile, while they were bemoaning their lack of luck, blaming everyone else for it, we hooked up with several quite nice couples, some of whom we're still seeing, and having generally good luck in meeting and playing with people through that site. One day they just disappeared from the site. Maybe they're still out there on some other site, trying to hook up... and wondering why the heck they're not getting anywhere. I almost emailed them once to explain to them nicely how to write a good ad, but couldn't be bothered.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Not necessarily an AD peeve. But we HATE, when people contact us without opening up pics. We have no problem doing the same, but if your writing first, open the pics first.

 

Hell we even had people write saying that they won't open pics until we open ours first!

 

All of our pics are completely open so this drives us nuts as well... if you can see our faces and all of our pics then can't you at least attach a picture of both of you to the message?

 

Usually when you see an ad on SLS with a tag-line similar to this, you can pretty much guarantee the three profiles above and below this one are of certified members.

 

I've been wondering if it's not like the "no drama" and the idea that people who put that in their profile are responsible for 90% of the drama. Perhaps those who put the "is anyone real" crap on their profile are the bulk of the fakers.

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

A little silly (thus a pet peeve), but I take issue with spelling errors.

 

An error on a commonly misspelled word is no biggie, but if the entire profile is so bad that it is difficult to read, then it's a problem for me. I've looked at profiles where it appears that every word has been written phonetically.

 

 

 

 

 

(triple checks own post for errors)

 

Yep, that is one of our peeves too. Bad spelling and bad grammar are a turn-off, especially if excessive. We love the new feature in Firefox (web browser) which checks spelling on the fly!

[Chicup 41]

I love bad profiles.

 

Spelling errors, only cock shots, overt racism, pictures with your kids in them, all of that.

 

Its such a wonderful way of not wasting our time on them. Its how nature says 'Don't touch.'

 

As mentioned before in other threads, people who don't fill out their stats or at least post a vanilla pic of themselves.

 

Think about it - if you're not comfortable enough with yourself as you are, how can you be comfortable getting naked with someone else for the first time?

 

Well the most common thing is not to post the woman's weight, which is in effect, posting the woman's weight. I also think a lot of couples stop aging at 49 to avoid the 50 cut off.

[TravlParty 87]

All of the above, plus:

 

Pics of one or the other in front of a messy room. When I opened SLS this morning, there's an attractive female and all this junk in the background as the initial, featured member. I couldn't get past the junk to focus on her!

 

Come on people! You're advertising yourself. At least pin up a sheet and take a picture in front of that. Better yet, a black satin sheet.

[MrkLin 393]

Well the most common thing is not to post the woman's weight, which is in effect, posting the woman's weight. I also think a lot of couples stop aging at 49 to avoid the 50 cut off.

 

LOL! You noticed that too? I wonder how many people don't realize that SLS doesn't update your ages automatically. You've been a member for 6 years, and you're still 22 - that's a good trick...

 

All of our info is current. I don't like to be misled, so I try to stay up to date on our profile so I'm not misleading anyone else. Heck, I was proud of getting back down to 175lbs, and couldn't wait to change that stat!

[Pensacolapair 394]

Most of the things we find annoying in profiles have been mentioned already... glad to see we aren't the only ones who take them into account in determining who we might be interested in. A little bit about a couple of what we feel are 'biggies':

A profile that says:

"we are beginning to think this site is full of game players and fakes, where are all the real swingers? If anyone is interested, drop us a line".....

Ah, Yes... we call those the 'Challenge' profiles. See, others are 'spoda be so desperate to prove they are 'real' that they contact them. But if they do, they find out the rest of the story: If you do meet them, and decide you don't want to play with them... you're still not 'real'!

Yep, that is one of our peeves too. Bad spelling and bad grammar are a turn-off, especially if excessive. We love the new feature in Firefox (web browser) which checks spelling on the fly!

 

There is a thread over on SZC about spelling and grammar that had us alternately laughing and shaking our heads in amazement. It seems that there are two camps:

 

Camp 1 - Those who feel that an ability to express one's thoughts intelligently via properly constructed sentences containing correctly spelled words indicates a 'snob' who 'has nothing better to do with their time but consult dictionaries' - and is basically an asshole for judging others who are 'everyday folks' who are "too busy working hard and raising kids" to be concerned with grammar.

 

Camp 2 - Those who feel that being able to express one's thoughts intelligently via properly constructed sentences containing correctly spelled words simply indicates someone who they might actually want to meet.

 

We have noticed that quite a few folks from Camp 1 are also the ones complaining about others not being 'real' and having a hard time meeting folks...

[PB&J 1,086]

Was just going through the ads on a Canadian site we're on, for the first time in a long time, and was struck once again with the number of people who "update" their ads (meaning they click on the update box so they are at the top of the pile, since ads are displayed in order of last updated), without bothering to update their ads. So here we are in the third week of November with people saying they are going to such-and-such a club for Hallowe'en, and they updated their ad today.

 

PEOPLE!! If you can take the time to open your ad, scroll down, click on the update box, SURELY you can at least change the ad enough to say that you enjoyed said event, rather than looking forward to it?

[ownerspet 506]

My peeves are:

1. Pics of only the female, where's the other half? I wanna see!

2. Only one pic and its of a one big boob

3. Major grammar errors and the use of no punctuation (

4. Too many things the couple doesnt want or like and using up their character limit to say so, and saying it crudely, and even saying what they do want in a crude manner. What a turn off, but to each their own I guess.

5. And lastly the tag lines saying "is there anyone here for real?????"

 

Yes I have to agree with all of these, instead of reiterating it. Especially number 2. and 4.

[pervgeeks 119]

1.) Bad spelling and grammar. Perfection not expected, but there's some really dumb people out there!

 

2.) People who do not read that we have IN BOLD that we only meet initially at parties and clubs. If there's a real life attraction, we're happy to put in some chat time and make a date, but we feel a few minutes of talking in person is much more telling in terms of chemistry than hours of chats and e-mails with people we've never met.

 

3.) Anyone who lies or misrepresents themselves.

[ownerspet 506]

1.)

 

2.) People who do not read that we have IN BOLD that we only meet initially at parties and clubs.

 

It's probably not that they aren't reading what you have in bold, it's probably that they aren't reading your profile text at all. There are many people out there that just look at stats, pictures, or both. Then they don't go any further than that, before contacting a profile owner. I don't agree with that approach, but many take this angle.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

People who contact you and they don't have any pictures and barely three sentences in their profile. I guess they don't realize how serious they are.

[exploringRM 305]

I skimmed the previous posts, so maybe these were mentioned, but I just caught a profile that annoyed me...and while I'm here I'll vent just a little more...

 

1) Profile names that imply the people are new (newfun4us, juststarting...) but you see that they have been members of the online site for four years!

 

 

2) Similar to the profile name, profile descriptions that say they are new, or no experience, but based on how lone they have had a profile in combination with certs, you can assume they are experienced. Not that I'm looking for newbies, but at least update the profile to match current events.

 

3) Not updating their ages.

[dodgechevy 149]

I skimmed the previous posts, so maybe these were mentioned, but I just caught a profile that annoyed me...and while I'm here I'll vent just a little more...

 

1) Profile names that imply the people are new (newfun4us, juststarting...) but you see that they have been members of the online site for four years!

 

 

2) Similar to the profile name, profile descriptions that say they are new, or no experience, but based on how lone they have had a profile in combination with certs, you can assume they are experienced. Not that I'm looking for newbies, but at least update the profile to match current events.

 

3) Not updating their ages.

 

 

To be fair about the names, it's hard to go back and change them once everyone you know gets to know you by that name.

 

For example how about our name????!!?!??! Dodgechevy?!?!?! come on

 

Story goes like this, we made a profile real quick like, to start thinking about the lifestyle. Ended up going to our first party a month later with that name and the rest is history.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Pet peeves? "We can't post pictures because of his job..." when there are pictures of the woman which are readily identifiable.

 

I was just on SLS and saw one of those profiles. There are pictures of the woman's very significant, custom tattoos in the public gallery. It says she shows them to anyone. So anyone who knows her on a social level will instantly know who she is, and therefore who he is. So I don't believe it's his job that keeps them from posting an anonymous picture of him, say in jeans and a white T-shirt, cut off at the neck.

[exploringRM 305]

Good point dodgechevy on the profile name change thing. The profile that set me off was one that had new in the profile name AND the profile said they were new, but had been active for years based on the member since date.

[bellsandwhistle 15]

Pet peeves? "We can't post pictures because of his job..." when there are pictures of the woman which are readily identifiable.

 

I was just on Swing Lifestyle and saw one of those profiles. There are pictures of the woman's very significant, custom tattoos in the public gallery. It says she shows them to anyone. So anyone who knows her on a social level will instantly know who she is, and therefore who he is. So I don't believe it's his job that keeps them from posting an anonymous picture of him, say in jeans and a white T-shirt, cut off at the neck.

 

So true.

 

We recently took down pics and made our faces private. It wasn't because of his job, but our jobs. We weren't as cautious at first, but I've recently felt the need.

 

xoxo, N (N is she and S is he)