How important is Yahoo

[Ellyanne77 81]

We have been on SLS for a little over a month now. Being that we are new we are still receiving numerous emails a week. However, it seems that 90% of the people want us to chat on Yahoo. We clearly state on our profile that we do not Yahoo due to privacy concerns. I guess we don't understand why you pay for a site that is tailored to fit what you need to read about other couples only to constantly be redirected to a second party chat program.

 

It is unfortunate because we are most likely missing out on some pretty interesting couples. We actually turned away a 27 year old single bi female (i know we are crazy) because she said she likes to yahoo with couples to see if their is a connection before she meets them.

 

I guess my question is, how important is Yahoo? Those of you who have had SLS profiles for awhile, please tell us, do we need to change our position on this?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I personally don't do Yahoo chat either mainly because I don't do online chat. For those who prefer chat, I can see why they would prefer Yahoo over chatting through SLS built - in chat program. The main reason being that they can have Yahoo open while they are doing anything else and it is very easy to chat while doing something else in Yahoo. However, when you are trying to chat through a program that is built into a site like SLS you have to have that site open and you are constantly having to flip back and forth if you want to do something else.

[couple85602 45]

Like "Julie" says...we use Yahoo chat just because we are more comfortable using that program rather the the slow cumbersome chat program built into SLS. We don't make it a requirement before meeting someone, but it is nice being able to quickly chat about pretty much anything off of the top of your head for a while.

 

We don't understand the privacy concerns, as you can pretty much remain anonymous.

[rpu3 630]

I don't know what your privacy concerns are about Yahoo, actually. I don't see where I leave all my personal data behind for Yahoo to sell or lose on a couple of my accounts.

 

You don't even need to have the actual Yahoo! chat program installed on your computer. You can use Webmessenger by Yahoo which is internet based instead of downloading the program.

 

I don't like the SLS chat function, and I don't like having to leave SLS open just to communicate. Yahoo chat is pretty innocuous if I'm running it in the background or off to the side while doing other work on the computer.

 

I think missing out on some interesting people would not be worth insisting on SLS chat. Just my opinion, though.

[sweet_tna 680]

I prefer Yahoo as well, for the reasons already mentioned. While chatting isn't a requirement for me, I do enjoy it. As for privacy, I've not found that to be an issue.

 

Do you need to change your position? Only if you find that sticking with sls for chats is causing you to miss out on meeting some great people.

[incognito989 15]

I won't deny, it's important to us.

 

Contacts through SLS, or other means are slow and not as interactive. With yahoo (or other chat programs) we can find out very quickly if we're going to be compatible. There's no back and forth of email or messages, no lag time.

 

To be honest, chatting with someone is often an easier way to get to know them than talking to them in person.

 

As Julie mentioned, you don't need to have a window to SLS open all the time when you have a 3rd party messaging system. It sits in your taskbar, waiting for messages.

 

Also important to note - you can set yourself 'invisible' to everyone, or just specific contacts, in the event that you don't want to appear online to some folks.

 

We created a yahoo ID just for chatting with couples, and it worked out ok. No privacy issues, as we only disclose what we want to disclose over chat.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

As Julie mentioned, you don't need to have a window to SLS open all the time when you have a 3rd party messaging system. It sits in your taskbar, waiting for messages.

 

Also important to note - you can set yourself 'invisible' to everyone, or just specific contacts, in the event that you don't want to appear online to some folks.

 

We created a yahoo ID just for chatting with couples, and it worked out ok. No privacy issues, as we only disclose what we want to disclose over chat.

 

Not big chatters, but when we do, it is Yahoo for the reasons listed above and also the archive feature. It is nice to be able to read back over the chat log if you have archive turned on. During the actual chat, you are reading quick and formulating a quick response, so it is easy to miss bits of info that you can pick up rereading the log.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Well, I guess if you want to meet more people, you will need to change your position. We like to chat with folks before meeting them, and we use Yahoo. You can't tell all you need to know about a couple in four paragraphs, and to us, it's less "out there" than giving someone your cell phone number. There is the chat function on SLS, but we have it disabled on ours because we've had way too many weirdos try to contact us that way.

 

I would be wary about your complete reluctance to chat at least once before meeting, but then again, we'd just tell you that we could meet at a social and go from there.

 

It's up to you whether you want to yahoo.

 

Pepper

[lovenestduo 74]

We're among the few that don't Yahoo. Or msn for that matter. Hell, we've even got text messaging on our phones disabled.

 

A while back we used to do the msn thing when someone requested it but found it was too much trouble. The majority seemed to be more interested in having cybersex than making plans to meet. If we didn't remember to turn it off or set it "away" we were accused of ignoring people or having lewd messages pop up at the worst times. You can't get to know someone who's hiding behind a keyboard.

 

The whole text culture is strange. Here we are in the 21st century and we have gone from telephones back to the telegraph.

[tribbles 490]

We will chat on yahoo but not for long...way too often the person isn't really going to meet anyone. It's just cyber stuff for them. So...if you don't wanna chat, really quickly find a place to offer to meet...a party or a coffee house. Offer it up and if they go for it, great. If not, move on.

[WesternSwing 504]

We don't Yahoo allot, probably mostly with those we already know. In our experience those that we haven't met that want to IM usually turn out to be guys trying to gain your trust and share pics. Had one of these recently in fact... all was good then "hey, do you have pics you can show me?" Yup, they're on our profile, what you see is what you get until we know you better.

 

Also, IM takes allot of time out of a day. In fact, it can kill a productive day if I log-on at work.

 

So if you don't want to IM, than don't. It won't hurt your chances of meeting people who really want to meet face to face.

 

Now after a recent experience with Yahoo! Answers ask me what I think of that.

[sexcupid 809]

We use Yahoo. Again, because the SLS chat is a pita to use. And some folks use it to swap pics back and forth.

 

I usually have my status message set to away or busy, but will respond if someone we know wants to talk (since I'm at home all day right now).

 

If you feel you are turning down good potential playmates because of your stance, then maybe you should consider changing it? Set up a dummy account, no one is saying you have to fill out all the information on the profile that is public.

 

Good luck!

 

Maria

[redeye69 8]

I also was im the other day and very soon was asked for photos which made me suspicious so i checked and there profile had some glowing verifications does this make them more legit or can they be doctored also?

[Ed & Bunny 160]

I guess my big thing is I would like to get a feel for a person before handing out a phone #. I am not sure what your privavy issue is but giving out your number to a complete stranger seems more troublesome than using yahoo. Plus with some peoples comments about people wanting to cyber, we like finding that out on the yahoo stage. We can then just block them. If we had to wait till after a phone call...... You do know that with a phone # you can get someones full name and address. Just my .02 cents.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I also was im the other day and very soon was asked for photos which made me suspicious so i checked and there profile had some glowing verifications does this make them more legit or can they be doctored also?

 

Like anything they can be doctored. If they have friends that are on the site their friends can leave them the certs... or if someone really wanted to stretch they could even create multiple accounts and leave themselves glowing certifications.

 

You really just have to trust your gut on things.

[ncmd_couple 597]

We use yahoo chat and AOL chat, mainly because we are in two different rooms when we are on-line, that makes it easy. Weeding out the scammers? That is a challenge.

[njcpl85 40]

We have found using yahoo chat much more efficient and less cumbersome than the SLS chat for many of the same reasons mentioned prior. Privacy also has never been an issue for us on yahoo. We have created a screen name just for chatting. We also find it to be a good way to initially see if we have anything in common with the other couples we chat with and if we would like to set up a time to meet. Our free time to meet others is somewhat limited and chatting online seems to narrow the field for us a bit. Its really a matter of preference whether you want to chat or not and where you want to do the chatting.

 

mrs njcpl85

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

For many of the same reasons as stated above, we are guilty of redirecting people from SLS to Yahoo!. However, it would be perfectly understandable if you decline to go the route, not because of privacy issues, but because Yahoo! is not a very efficient way of getting to know new people. The Yahoo! universe is filled with so many game players, pic collectors and cybersex addicts that it's nearly impossible to come across anyone who is sincere. It works much better for keeping in touch with friends you already know.

[sexcupid 809]

The Yahoo! universe is filled with so many game players, pic collectors and cycbersex addicts that it's nearly impossible to come across anyone who is sincere.

 

This is why I just ignore random chat requests, you are much more likely to get one of the players, pic collectors, or someone who just wants to cyber that way.

 

If we have exchanged usernames and I get a friend request, that's fine. I also like the archive function, b/c sometimes I don't recall all details or can't find where I've written a phone number down. Plus, I normally chat when Jeff is at work, so I can leave the windows open for him to read when he gets home.

 

Maria

[good times 991]

I guess we have just been lucky, in the almost 5 years we have been on SLS we have only been asked to internet chat twice. We don't do any internet chat any more as we have found it ineffective. The reason for that is that someone can be a very good writer on the internet and lousy company in person or the opposite, so to us chat is nothing but a waste of time. We prefer to meet in person or talk on the phone. Now days we don't have any IM software on our computer, and I too have text disabled on my cell phone.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Ellyanne77 ~

 

You didn't specifically say if you even like IM chat. If you like chatting and getting to know people that way rather than writing back and forth, then you might want to consider setting up a Yahoo account for the reasons people have given.

 

But if you aren't keen on IM chat, I don't see a point in going through the steps to set up a Yahoo account, or any other account, only for chat.

 

I haven't had experience with trying to get to know swingers through private chat. My hesitancy has always been because I know I can get my message across better in an email and IMing would probably limit my communication ability.

 

Also, I'm weary of unknown people who want to IM because I think many are out there who aren't interested in meeting people, rather, they've got nothing better to do at that moment and are looking for some online stimulation...and they may direct the conversation to sex talk that I would not be comfortable with.

 

Of course, this isn't always true, in fact the very first couple we decided to write to (through an ad site) asked to IM immediately (using the ad site's IM system) after receiving our intro email. We told them we prefer to email and they were fine with that. We still know them today, years later, and they are the only people we now IM through AOL. How's that for an IM story?

[SCcpl40 74]

Meeting compatible couples takes work, yahoo for us is just another tool to use. What works for some doesn't mean it will for everyone. If you're second guessing on your original stance, how informed were you when you made the choice not to use yahoo. As so many like to call waffling with our political candidates because they change their stance, we think that being objective and willing to try something else is a sign of intelligence.

[TheDeal 117]

We are addicted to all forms of communication. We love Forum posting, text, chat, e-mail. There are somethings that are much easier to convey using the written word, and somethings where "in-person" is the only way to go.

 

We have PDA-Phones that do e-mail, chat, and text. The fun part is when the wife is texting while a friend is e-mailing or chatting. Using all these tools really just allows us to keep up with all we love and hang with, but then again, I am an IT geek...

[Ellyanne77 81]

Thank you all for the well thought out responses. We had never used IM before so when we intially set it up, it always had our real name in parenthesis next to our screen name. Now thanks to your comments we realized the whole dummy account thing. So we may reconsider. So far we have been so lucky as we have not been stood up meeting someone and everyone we have met has been so genuine. I guess there is some fear that if we IM someone will say something rude or crass to my wife which would sour what so far has been a wonderful experience. I know everyone says if you have not had a negative experience in swinging yet then just wait awhile. Right now though we are really enjoying the "honeymoon phase" of this all.

[purpletiger 25]

Well I learned something else new - I didn't know the SLS IM worked at all. I'll have to revisit that one.

 

We have a yahoo account that is only for contacting other swingers and swinger friends. Use an obvious alias name in the profile, and only complete part of the yahoo profile you are comfortable sharing.

 

Yahoo IM let's you group people and you can appear offline to any person or group at any time (set one group to permanently offline). Anyone that becomes crass, you can put them on your ignore list.

 

We don't cybersex but we do find it a great way to chat for compatibility and keep in touch with friends.

[twoforone100 45]

We do chat online. We do use yahoo. It works, it's free, and it logs chats... which is helpful for us to remember facts and phone #'s. We don't like the phone and we like that we can watch tv or talk to each other while chatting.. you can also use the conference room and talk from different places.. ie the four parts of the couples being at different computers..... younger people all use yahoo. We would say you are missing out.. YMMV

[MrkLin 393]

I use Yahoo chat a lot, albeit mainly with friends. Because of my schedule, I'm online late at night/early in the morning, or in the late morning/early afternoon. For instance, it's 2am as I type this - far too late to phone someone, but if one of my friends is awake and online for some reason, I can chat with them without disturbing anyone else in either house.

 

As far as it being a tool for meeting prospective playmates - it could be, I guess. We rarely use it that way, although we used to - that was back before Yahoo started eliminating adult groups and forbidding adult photos.

 

A couple of pointers based on our experience with Yahoo chat.

 

If someone asks for pics during chat, we tell them that we have plenty of pics on our Swing Lifestyle profile, and link them to it. If that's not good enough for them, we move on.

 

Set up a Yahoo account just for swing-related chat and e-mails. When it came time to enter personal info like names, I phonetically spelled out the initial of my first name (Em) and used it for the first name for the profile, then phonetically spelled out Lin's first initial (Ell) and used that for the last name. When someone finds us online in Yahoo, they see Em Ell is online... Hey, it works for us...

 

We do have a webcam, but rarely use it. Yahoo gives you the option of using a webcam if you'd like - either viewing someone else's cam, transmitting your own, or both at the same time. That's handy for confirming that a couple is really a couple, and not just a fake or cheating husband.

 

With all of the firewalls I have here, (both hardware and software firewalls,) I never got the Swing Lifestyle chat feature to work, so I disabled it. If someone wants to chat with us, we go to Yahoo.

[PB&J 1,086]

Yahoo? Doesn't anyone use msn? Hotmail is no good as a reliable mail service, but messenger works well for chat. (Gmail chat is ok, too, and it's a better mail service) I've never even tried the internal chat on any site I've been on. I use our swinger msn account for chat to keep in touch with a few favorite playmates, as well as getting to know a some new ones once we've made first contact on Swing Lifestyle. I don't share photos, just get to know people a little better. and when we can't meet up in the immediate future, as has happened over this busy and stormy winter up here, it's a way to keep the dialogue going until we can arrange something.

 

On the account, my first name is our "first" name, and his first name is our "last" name. Works perfectly.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

If you have multiple accounts (hotmail, yahoo, aol), use Trillian - combines all of them into one messenger application so that you don't have to have different ones running. We have accounts on all 3 just for chatting, so that we're not limited to one over another. However we only use the yahoo account for email.

[cocpl2007 170]

We are Yahoo-friendly, too.

[WeDive 57]

We find Yahoo IM important. Many of the reasons why have already been stated in the previous answers. Our specific process for screening who we want to meet includes some time on Yahoo. We clearly state on our profile that we are not there for endless email / chat exchanges, we are there to meet. So if the Yahoo chatting isn't going down the right road we end it.

 

Once someone has expressed an interest or vice versa (and its mutual) we try to have a conversation over Yahoo with them to determine further mutual interest and scheduling. If that all goes well then we make a date to meet. If not we have just saved a ton of time.

 

We also use Yahoo IM daily to keep up with people we already know. We have a dedicated Yahoo account that is only for sexy fun and we have no identifying information in that Yahoo profile.

 

We hear/read about swingers that want to have fun but have no time. They are caught juggling family, work, other responsibilities so they can't respond in a timely manner or get out as much as they'd like. Yahoo IM can help with that -- it saves time and allows you to communicate more efficiently. It does for us anyhow.

 

A word of caution though --- we recommend NEVER sending pics through yahoo unless you KNOW the people personally. Think Dateline.......

[curioussnk 17]

We enjoy chatting through Yahoo...We started out not using but it did not take us long to get to the point you are at..thinking that we were missing out on talking with others that could lead to something for us.

 

Also, using a webcam to introduce yourselves a little more "live" is fun! Webcam is not required for us but I like to know I am talking to the woman and the man and we have used the webcam to all 4 wave at each other and just get a better look!

 

I say go for it...try it on yahoo and see what you think..you might be pleasantly surprised where your chatting will take you!

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

It seems like YIM is the de-facto chat system for swingers, at least the ones we've encountered. All we did was set up a new Yahoo account specifically for chatting with others. We have the email forwarded from that account to our regular email so we don't have to check it every day. That's the best way to keep things private, but you'll have to log in to Yahoo email to send back responses to emails there.

[CXXC 435]

NCfuncouple98 said:

If you have multiple accounts (hotmail, yahoo, aol), use Trillian - combines all of them into one messenger application so that you don't have to have different ones running. We have accounts on all 3 just for chatting, so that we're not limited to one over another. However we only use the yahoo account for email.

 

The only issue that I have found with Trillian is that if you happen to need the picture share or file share ability, most times, Yahoo balks at it and the files will not transfer.

 

However, Trillian is a wonderful tool to use for MULTIPLE ID's with Yahoo, AIM, MSM and even IRC. Its great!

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

CXXC said:

The only issue that I have found with Trillian is that if you happen to need the picture share or file share ability, most times, Yahoo balks at it and the files will not transfer.

 

However, Trillian is a wonderful tool to use for MULTIPLE ID's with Yahoo, AIM, MSM and even IRC. Its great!

 

Our issue with Trillian is that it doesn't contain all of the features that makes each instant messaging client unique, so even after we gave it a try a while ago, we went back to simultaneously using YIM, AIM, MSN, and ICQ.

 

Nowadays, we tend to use only YIM, and we're pretty happy with that. As we've mentioned before, YIM works best for keeping in touch with people we already know, and all of those people are on Yahoo!.

[MrkLin 393]

Yahoo? Doesn't anyone use msn?

 

Yahoo lets us link up with MSN users, and we can chat with them just fine. I have a friend in Scotland who uses MSN exclusively and we chat all the time. We just find Yahoo to be a bit more 'comfortable' than MSN, but only because we've been using Yahoo for about 9 years.

[dodgechevy 149]

Got to love the yahoo IM.

 

I'm not too sure how I even see it as a problem for people. Unless of course you just plain don't like to type.

 

It's anonymous, easy to use, great features, etc etc.

 

Plus we don't share pics on there, we use SLS for that. Plus we still chat on the phone before a meet to see how everyone is.