Question for bi men or couples with bi male

[nicerrtxcple 13]

Just a question. I am the husband and am wanted to know how you go about telling your wife that you want to have sex with another man? I have thought about it for years now. I love my wife and know that I am not gay but would like to play with other men sometimes. So how did you tell your wife that you are BI and like to play with men also?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

...how you go about telling your wife that you want to have sex with another man?

I took a look at your SLS profile and you list yourself and your wife as bi-curious.

 

You also mention in the profile that you are both interested in trying "the bi side."

 

I'm confused, it would seem that your wife already knows.

[Cpl2share 147]

If your wife is bi then it should not be an issue to her. Usually a person will understand another person having the same interests sexual or otherwise. Based on some of your other posts I would question if your wife knows that you are using this board, do you two actually swing or is this just a fantasy of yours. Not trying to flame you, but like I said from reading some of your other posts I question if she is truly involved in the "swinging" aspect of your life right now?

[ncmd_couple 597]

I had the same question that likeminds had. I had looked at your profile after a post of yours in the past, and it looks like you have added the bi-curious too it since then. I guess the question came to me is, is this something your looking at and you haven't really talked to your wife about it? Does your wife have access to your SLS profile?

[nicerrtxcple 13]

Yeah, I know what the profile says since I wrote it. She is bicurious and yes I added it to mine and she asked me about it, but I just for some reason could not tell her yes. I just didn't know how. Yes she knows about the boards, I did not hide that from her. We want to swing and have talked and been with two couples so far, so NO it's not just a fantasy of mine!! And YES, SHE is truly involved in the "swinging" aspect of my life right now! You know if I was going to get flamed this bad for asking a question I wouldn't have. Sorry that I did.

[WesternSwing 504]

nicerrtxcple, if your profile says you are bi-curious and your wife knows about the profile, than she knows your at least bi-curious. It would seem to me the thing to do is to just tell her "By the way, you know I really am bi-curious" and let the conversation go where it may.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Nicerrtxcpl,

 

I'm sorry that you thought I was flaming you, it wasn't intended to be. I was just trying to get the confusion cleared as to what the true situation is. As WS said, you need to sit down with your wife and tell her where your interests lie. As she already knows, it isn't like you have to go, "Hi honey, I'm curious about Bi sex with another guy. Good luck!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

So what did you tell your wife when she asked about it? Did you lie and say that you clicked the box on accident? Or what?

 

I know you were hoping to get feedback from people who have gone through telling their wives about their interest (and hopefully you still will get those answers as I think it's a great question). Unfortunately, at this point those answers won't do you much good. I think that you really wanted to tell your wife and you are scared to do so and subconsciously you opted to tell her through your profile, now all you have to do is back that up verbally.

[hmr 25]

Always much easier to tell once you do it. The anticipation of a problem is worse than the problem itself. All mrs hmr said was ok.

[paradiseclubcpl 27]

I have a question that concerns Bi males. I run a couples only on premises lifestyle club. This weekend I was approached by one of the members of the club would had a problem with a Bi male. Lets call them couple A and couple B. Now the memberA and his wife got together with a coupleB to go into one of the rooms to play. They were in the throws of a happy foursome all was going fine. The wife of couple B was straddling husband A using her hand on him. Wife A was going down on husband B and husband B was sucking wife B's breasts. All of a sudden husband A felt a mouth on his cock. When he opened his eyes he saw wife A going down on husband B. While wife B was sitting up in a position that would make it impossible for her to be going down on him. He looked around her body and seen much to his horror husband B sucking his cock. Needless to say he pushed the guy off him and the moment was lost for the rest of the night. My question here is shouldn't a Bi male ask if it is ok with the other guy before approaching him in that manner? To the best of my and other males in this club there were no Bi males in the club. Does anyone think that full disclosure was called for in a situation like this.

[Dynamar 246]

Does anyone think that full disclosure was called for in a situation like this.

I do think that is a boundary that should have been discussed by both couples before Husband B helped himself to the sausage buffet. However, I also think that you have your head in the sand if you think no bi-males attend your club. A closeted bi-male is a bi-male nonetheless. /threadjack

[good times 991]

Wow, yes I think full disclosure would have been appropriate before they play since he intended to do what he did.

 

Frankly though, I am surprised this guy got away with it and still has his teeth. I am a pretty mild mannered guy, but if some guy latched onto me without asking, I suspect an ambulance would be needed. Don't get me wrong, I am not advocating violence, but that is something that would piss most straight guys I know off beyond self control.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here- While myself playing with a girl is often a matter of convention, I always ask if the other woman prefers to play straight. Now, this convention may be hypocritical in the Lifestyle in regards to bi-guys, well, the world is full of contradictions.

 

Bi-guy play should always be discussed beforehand. If only to ask,"We both play bi. Do you ?" Simply put, if some guy started going down on Ed, he wouldn't have to push him off, because I'd have booted the guy to the parking lot and passed the county line, first.

 

I also have seen the 'accidental' bi-guy play. It never was an accident. My opinion on this is pretty harsh because I am very against anyone being tricked into an unwanted sexual act.

[paradiseclubcpl 27]

I also have seen the 'accidental' bi-guy play. It never was an accident. My opinion on this is pretty harsh because I am very against anyone being tricked into an unwanted sexual act.

 

I sorry but I gotta do this. Oops sorry my cock fell into your mouth. Oops wrong ass! LMAO

[horneinmo 15]

Depends on how your wife would feel about something like that bro...

[aaaflirt 16]

Wow Talk about a threadjack.

It is a pretty important rule in most clubs and parties... ASK BEFORE YOU TOUCH because a punch in the face often offends (not to mention hurts).

 

 

Ok Back to the original post.

 

Mate if your going to try bi then you need to tell your wife. Don't just spring it on her with just cum with some young guy and let her find out by seeing it for herself.

 

Honesty is the only policy and open communication is a great way to have a happy continuing swinging relationship.

 

There are of course a few of ways this could go. One is she doesn't like the idea and you have to decide how you are going to satisfy the situation. Two is she loves the idea and is in a great position to help you to satisfy the situation (get her to ask the bloke if he minds you doing what ever you have decided is good for you). Three is she may like the idea but doesn't want to see it.

 

Don't forget to set some boundaries and talk about how it went the next time you have an opportunity to talk.

 

Good luck and happy swinging.

[ViSexual 1,008]

OK, back to the original question for a moment.

 

I was writing erotic stories and let 'my' characters reveal male/male activities during swinging encounters with two couples.

 

When my wife disclosed how 'hot' she thought it was it was easy for me to simply agree.

 

So, husbands, find really good stories or movies that might lead to the conversation.

 

Then simply admit that you thought it was sexy.

 

For one, if you and the bride haven't already seen it, is Break Back Mountain.

 

OK, and do discuss any activity with the other hubby in advance!!!!!

[realcplub2 513]

After reading the collective posts and the lack of response... Hate to float an idea out there, but suppose she doesn't know, because he hasn't told her/shown her?

 

Bi the way, there are no accidental bi settings... Freudian slip perhaps... but not an accidental setting.

[SIR_DRAGONFIRE5 15]

I sure would think it's an issue to discuss before a situation like this occurred.

[CABob 16]

Find the best time to tell her, and say it in a loving way that's open to a discussion.

 

Good Luck!

[steversk 19]

As part of a couple that have only discussed swinging and not taken the plunge yet, I have spent time on this board and one thing I have learned is that one of the most important things is honest and open discussion with your partner. Even though we have only talked about swinging it has led to discussions about fantasies, and I told her I thought it would be fun to suck a cock. Also one of my fantasies (since I enjoy anal play) is to be fucked in the ass by the guy (or woman with a strap-on) while someone sucks me off. If your are already involved int the lifestyle I would think it shouldn't be a problem to have this discussion with your wife. Bring it up first as a fantasy, see how she reacts, and then go from there.

[jamen 41]

I am a bit Bi curious.What I have done in the last few months is get some dvd's. Sexual variations is a good one.I also suck on her vibrator while we are getting it on. I asked her if it turns her on and she said ya. I would go easy. Open communication and trust is key. As per my earlier post we are contemplating a MMF encounter.

[IvoryTowers 380]

While I agree that people should be upfront and honest about what they want to do and what their boundaries are, I just don't get the panic this incident provoked. Before he realized what gender was sucking his cock, the guy was happy--why should the fact that it was a male mouth rather than a female change anything?

 

I can understand being turned off if someone asks you to actively do something that you don't want to do (asking a straight man to go down on another guy). But threatening to punch a guy's teeth in or put him in an ambulance, or even losing the moment "for the rest of the night" seems an extreme and unwarranted reaction to someone's attempt to pleasure you.

 

Maybe if the men were more relaxed about "incidental" bi contact, there would be less "accidental" bi contact.

[biplayfulcouple 20]

I have a question that concerns Bi males. I run a couples only on premises lifestyle club. This weekend I was approached by one of the members of the club would had a problem with a Bi male. Lets call them couple A and couple B. Now the member A and his wife got together with a couple B to go into one of the rooms to play. They were in the throws of a happy foursome all was going fine. The wife of couple B was straddling husband A using her hand on him. Wife A was going down on husband B and husband B was sucking wife B's breasts. All of a sudden husband A felt a mouth on his cock. When he opened his eyes he saw wife A going down on husband B. While wife B was sitting up in a position that would make it impossible for her to be going down on him. He looked around her body and seen much to his horror husband B sucking his cock. Needless to say he pushed the guy off him and the moment was lost for the rest of the night. My question here is shouldn't a Bi male ask if it is ok with the other guy before approaching him in that manner? To the best of my and other males in this club there were no Bi males in the club. Does anyone think that full disclosure was called for in a situation like this.

everyone is supposed to ask, before they touch, or reach out. many times we do not do full disclosure with another couple...it could be on the dance floor or something spontaneous. we are much more spontaneous, in our activities, than planned. but we do always ask. all the same, the offending guy should have asked the husband or the wife, before he made contact. unless he violated the "no means no" code, then I'm not sure why the "offended couple" ran to management, with a complaint. the complaint initially needs to be lodged with the offender, then if no apology or satisfaction is received, you move it up the chain of command.

[Chicup 41]

While I agree that people should be upfront and honest about what they want to do and what their boundaries are, I just don't get the panic this incident provoked. Before he realized what gender was sucking his cock, the guy was happy--why should the fact that it was a male mouth rather than a female change anything?

 

Because it wasn't wanted and goes against the sexual/chemical/genetic nature of the guy in question. I would not be happy if that happened to me. I would be angry because in my world a guy should ask if its ok to give you a BJ.

 

I can understand being turned off if someone asks you to actively do something that you don't want to do (asking a straight man to go down on another guy). But threatening to punch a guy's teeth in or put him in an ambulance, or even losing the moment "for the rest of the night" seems an extreme and unwarranted reaction to someone's attempt to pleasure you.

 

While I wouldn't be violent, it would end play with that couple.

 

Maybe if the men were more relaxed about "incidental" bi contact, there would be less "accidental" bi contact.

 

This I can't follow. The situation presented was not "incidental" or "accidental", but "deliberate".

[SIR_DRAGONFIRE5 15]

I feel that if she asked you, you should take the opportunity to tell her that you want to talk about this. I bet she would say ok let's talk. By waiting she could perceive this as you keeping things from her.