Where do I start as a single bi female?

[bbouvier 30]

I'm a single bi female & while I've been interested in the swinging lifestyle for years (even before I was single), I've never 'taken the plunge' and don't really know how to go about it. I'm not new to the 'bi' scene though. I love ladies and I love men. I love people. What's most important to me in a partner is chemistry, not whatever parts they have. Whatever their parts are, if I like the person, I'm in. The parts are just the tools to make them feel good, right? Ok, I deviated.

 

Back to point. My life is kinda hectic these days and even if it wasn't, I would have no one to go with to a club and I don't really know people in the lifestyle. I have no idea how to go about meeting people. Any suggestions?

 

Swinging is seriously something I've thought about for a long time. I get that it is not 'technically' swinging when you're single, but I feel more interested in swinging couples than vanilla boys. I feel that a swinging couple would be more in tune with their sexuality and exploring it more and with a more like mind to mine, if that makes sense.

 

I've been reading on these boards and have found much help in the posts of those more experienced than I to this lifestyle. Everyone seems honest and open in their posts and I was hoping to get a bit more personalized advice for how to go about this. Most pointedly, how to meet others minus a club and preexisting swinger friends.

 

Thanks in advance

[two4youinswva 3,068]

You have a couple choices I can think of off hand as far as meeting folks.

1. Online sites such as swinglifestyle.

2. Look for "Meet & Greets" that a local group or club may be hosting.

 

 

You are probably already aware that the single bi female is highly sought after, so using one of these methods will probably be productive.

 

There are some single ladies on the board that can give you more tried and tested methods.

 

Best of luck to you!

[Dynamar 246]

You might check around on which is the most popular site in your area. I am on swinglifestyle and swappernet. I don't know which is more populated with Atlanta-area folks, although I have conversed with people from Atlanta on swappernet, which is the better site in the Midwest, where I live.

 

I can appreciate your desire to meet up with quality couples, since that's the attitude I first came into the lifestyle with. A warning however... people (i.e., couples) talk about single fems being flaky and strange and insecure. In my experience couples are exactly the same way. Rarely do they even follow through past their initial email. So unless your stars are perfectly aligned, plan on doing most of the work in contacting, "courting" them and keeping the lines of communication open. I just decided that was not going to be me... I don't chase, and never want to be perceived as a 'pushy single.'

 

The reality is I have met a few couples, and I have enjoyed playing with some as well, but I've had much more luck (and hence, much more fun!) meeting up with single men, either solo or in tandem for some fun MFMs. I'm also a member of a swappernet group with some great single females who've become friends, confidants and wing-women

 

And for the record, you are or at least can be a swinger as a single... and don't let anybody tell you differently!

 

Good luck in your adventures!

[ncmd_couple 597]

I know a single Bi lady, and her approach was to get connected with another Bi female who is more experienced who could take her to some meet-n-greets etc. It gave her someone to talk to, get experience from, and opened doors to others until she was secure in what she was doing. Have fun!

[TNT 1,155]

1. Online sites such as swinglifestyle.

2. Look for "Meet & Greets" that a local group or club may be hosting.

 

Both good suggestions.

 

As a SBF you will need to be a very strong individual, know exactly what it is that you want and don't want and be very firm in saying NO when you're not interested. You'll probably be bombarded with couples and single men who want your attention.

 

One thing I always caution single women about is when you are going out to meet someone, make sure you have let at least one person you trust know where you're going and approximately when you expect to return. There are weirdos in all walks of life so be careful.

 

Good luck and have fun.

[midnightplayer 135]

TNT Makes a lot of sense, first of all be safe.

[bbouvier 30]

Thanks for all of the good suggestions! I've already checked out swinglifestyle and am also much warming up to the club idea after all

 

Thanks for the welcome, tips, advice & honestly!

[crazycatz 17]

I've found sdc to be the best site actually. I've also managed to make a few friends on there over the years to go to parties with (people that I have and haven't played with).

 

I found the site was a great starting place for a single bi fem and when you network with others on there you find out really quickly who to avoid and who are sound.

 

Good luck.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Welcome to the board! I've was in your shoes for a while and I honestly didn't like them, but that was just me. My experience was that because SBF's are so hard to find that too often couples want to make you THEIR SBF. That wasn't gonna work for me. The other major issue I encountered was again because there are so few that many couples the second they find out you are a SBF assume you will play with them.

 

With a new baby in tow it's going to make it very difficult for you to have a lot of time to do the ad route unless you just want to jump right into bed with people - which is fine if that's what you want. However, if you want to take the time and actually meet them first, it will be a little more difficult. If you do go that route, make sure you meet them somewhere public first and as TnT said, make sure someone knows where you are going and when you expect to be back.

 

If you do opt to go the club route, I definitely understand your trepidation at going alone. I would suggest calling the club owners of the clubs in your area and talking to them. Ask them if they can introduce you to a host couple who you can go to the club with (at least your first time or two), this will give you someone that you can sit with and get to know and not feel like you are there alone. Hopefully, also they will watch out for you a bit and make sure that if you get cornered by some pushy couple or single that they will extricate you if needed.

[twohots4u2 188]

There was an on-premises swing club in Atlanta that would have been perfect for you, 2Risque. Alas, it has closed as far as I know. We found the people there to be very friendly and lots of fun. As a single female, you would have been a "guest of honor."

 

Our recommendation would be to try one of the other swing clubs in Atlanta, such as Trapeze. A major advantage of the club route is that you can observe, be very selective, and participate to whatever level you want with whomever you want, no pressure. If you meet someone there is always the implied "we came all this way to meet you and ....).

 

Good luck. Single bi-females are hard to find. You are a scarce commodity!

[SIRLIXOFATLANTA 15]

Hello: When swinging first started, it was couples swapping with other couples. But over the years, swinging is not complete unless singles are involved. That is due to a lot of factors. There are intangibles that go into swinging now. In couples/couples swap, you have to deal with 4 people that have to like each other. Yes, there are some cases where people take one for the team, but in the most part, they don't. So, if the male on this side is not attracted to the other female or the female on this side is not attracted to the male on the other side or vice versa, it doesn't happen. That is why it takes longer for couples and couples to get together. The easiest part of swinging is a couple either swinging with a single male or single female. Now, when you are in the lifestyle as a single female or single male, you as the single female or the single male can play with each other. Even if it is not technically swinging based on the fundamentals of swinging, but because you are both in the lifestyle, it is considered swinging.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Hello: When swinging first started, it was couples swapping with other couples. But over the years, swinging is not complete unless singles are involved. That is due to a lot of factors. There are intangibles that go into swinging now. In couples/couples swap, you have to deal with 4 people that have to like each other. Yes, there are some cases where people take one for the team, but in the most part, they don't. So, if the male on this side is not attracted to the other female or the female on this side is not attracted to the male on the other side or vice versa, it doesn't happen. That is why it takes longer for couples and couples to get together. The easiest part of swinging is a couple either swinging with a single male or single female. Now, when you are in the lifestyle as a single female or single male, you as the single female or the single male can play with each other. Even if it is not technically swinging based on the fundamentals of swinging, but because you are both in the lifestyle, it is considered swinging.

 

I agree with what you said with the exceptions of the areas I have highlighted in your quote.

 

Swinging is still largely a couples activity. That is about as "complete" as it gets. If we want a single it is because we want it.

 

Easy to find a single male/female? Yes and no. Everyone still has to be compatible. And the elusive unicorn is difficult at best.

 

Single on single is swinging just because you are in the lifestyle. No. Not in my opinion.

 

Your opinion about "swinging" appears to be biased to a single person's view.

[Dynamar 246]

Single on single is swinging just because you are in the lifestyle. No. Not in my opinion.

 

Your opinion about "swinging" appears to be biased to a single person's view.

Just as yours is biased to a coupled person's view.

[ourrockstarlife 15]

I agree with what you said with the exceptions of the areas I have highlighted in your quote.

 

Swinging is still largely a couples activity. That is about as "complete" as it gets. If we want a single it is because we want it.

 

Easy to find a single male/female? Yes and no. Everyone still has to be compatible. And the elusive unicorn is difficult at best.

 

Single on single is swinging just because you are in the lifestyle. No. Not in my opinion.

 

Your opinion about "swinging" appears to be biased to a single persons view.

 

I think that most people twist the idea of swinging to fit their own agenda. Swinging is defined as the practicing exchange of partners, especially spouses, for sex. If you are single, and have sex with other single people, i don't think you can consider it swinging.

 

As for the topic at hand:

DJ and I tend to make our encounters with singles infrequent. Most of our single playfriends are only "single" at times, mostly because their significant other allow them to play alone. In our experience ( not the law, as most opinions are not, so please refrain from lighting me up ) couples allowing single women into their bedroom on a frequent basis USUALLY end up with a disaster. (we have a couple we have been friends with that have a court date pending over this kind of situation)

 

Perhaps the "unicorn" truly is a fable. Is it possible to enjoy a NSA relationship with a single female? I don't know, but based on what I have observed, we prefer to stay away.

 

For us, it is couples only, and the occasional single male (once in a blue moon)