The "Kissing" Rule for Swingers

[Mariposa_y_Oso 15]

Mari and I were talking to some friends of ours and they mentioned the fact that there is a significant number of couples they've played with that viewed kissing as a "no-no". Now, we're still relative newbies to the Lifestyle, but so far, everyone we've played with has enjoyed the kissing and making out just as much as we do. As a matter of fact, we're not sure if we could play with another couple if kissing weren't allowed...it would just seem weird. lol

 

So as to get a wider sampling, I set up the poll to find out about your experiences with others, rather than your own personal preferences...

 

Enjoy and feel free to elaborate further, we'd love to hear everyone's opinion on this topic.

 

Cheers!

~Mike

[darling 17]

I guess its funny that I will stick a dick in my mouth, but not let them kiss me. hehehe

 

Since we swing, its just the one thing that I save between my husband and me only. There is something really personal about kissing to me.

[J & K 16]

J here---the second half of K.

 

Kissing we both like, but it has some turn on's and turn off's. I saw the post above about the gal says she will put a dick in her mouth, but won't kiss. Sounds normal since a "dick" can't kiss--lol.

 

We both are use to eachother kissing and when someone else does it it is different. Which can be good or bad. Some folks can be great kissers and others....well...need to learn better.

 

Kissing can be great, but others need to learn that a mouth can taste real bad and have bad breath. We wish more folks would learn to brush their teeth before hooking up and those that smoke need to learn to use mints---a lot of mints---for non-smokers. Yuck--kissing an ashtray is a TURN OFF!!!! Now two smokers can handle eachother very well. Another thing is being at the swing club and drinking booze and then kissing. Well--how many ladies hate beer and the men drink beer. Go for the kiss and she just taste your last beer. I think it goes both ways, but women tend to notice it more.

 

Kissing has so many forms. It is one of them things we are never are taught. So tech. can vary from one person to the other.

 

We both started off saying "No Kissing" when we first talked about doing this. We have played around with two cpls before and found out that kind of went out of the window. It was in the game to kiss while we were at the club to break the ice. Also--we have kissed them when playing at later times. So--every cpl is different on the "Kissing" ideas. There is no right or wrong reasons to Kiss others---it is how comfortable you are with yourself to do it. It has it's turn-on's and turn-off's.

[OhioCouple 41]

Kissing is a very big part of the foreplay and seduction process for us. We have though run into one couple in which they just were not our type of kissers, so we just put their lips to better use and only kiss each other. If they are biters, tongue thrusters or tongue flickerers (is that a word?) we move em' right along. Chances are we wouldn't play with them again since we do enjoy the passion of it. I'd say we are a most of the time couple based on how compatible the kissing is.

 

Lori

[jstawildguy 15]

Weighing in with my opinion... Kissing is very erotic, and it doesn't have to be on the lips. Skin kissing.. over face and body is very enjoyable and avoids the "breath" situation.

 

I do agree, personal hygene in all areas is a must, to be involved in this lifestyle!

 

Dave

[TNT 1,155]

Originally posted by J & K

Well--how many ladies hate beer and the men drink beer. Go for the kiss and she just taste your last beer.

 

I had to laugh at this statement. I hate beer, I never drink it. I have told hubby should I ever pick up a beer to drink, to take me home IMEDIATELY, because I am wayyyyyyyy to drunk, lol.

 

But, I LOVE the smell of beer on a man's breath. Not someone who has had a whole bunch of beer, but one or two. It is such a sexy, turn-on smell to me, I guess you could say I find it very manly .

 

As far as kissing goes, we are about 50/50. If we do no big deal and if we don't no big deal. We usually take our lead towards kissing from the people we are playing with at the time.

 

Teresa

[Alura 2,775]

We can only speak of past experiences. We've never played with a couple without kissing. In our opinion, kissing can have different meanings. Between the two of us, it means "I love you." With anyone else it means, "Let's get hot!" We will agree with Lori that it is very difficult to find a couple who are both good kissers.

 

Alura

[ciscosv 26]

My wife and I have kissed others when the feeling was right. It doesn't bother me to see her passionately kissing another. In fact it is a turn on for me because I know that there is an attraction there. She is not bothered by me kissing others. Everyone is different.

[Regularguy 17]

When it is right I really like kissing too....

[bimrdcpl 15]

We love kissing and making out with others, it part of the play we think. And what better way to find out what kinda lover they are going to be!!!

 

Dawn:kiss:

[DBL D 120]

LOL TNT,

 

I fell over when I saw your comments on BEER.

 

I make my own beer and make many different varieties.

Believe it or not, not all beer makes you smell like "beer", but I get your drift. Come to my place and I'll educate you if you like:D

 

On the topic of hygiene...I kissed a gal at our 1st dance (after my WIFEY had already kissed her) and she was a smoker. I am too and forgot about it. Well, she said, "You're a smoker aren't you?"

 

I was a little taken back, but then I realized the Faux Pas. Even with a smoker/ drinker/ pussy eater/ etc. there is an odor that persists and we should all be aware of the others feelings about this.

 

BTW, Kissing and "Safe Sex" were a topic of discussion before the dance. Since Fem D let loose and changed the rules I went along with it because I was in favor of kissing. When I saw her do it, I became relaxed in my interactions. She'd got a little drunk and didn't realize a few things till I told her later.

 

We have since talked and she now feels that kissing might be ok, depending on the situation.

 

Do I sense another rule change in the works?

 

Anyway, I'm for it and she's about 50/50.

 

BTW, The type of kissing is v. important. A good kisser goes slow and sexy at 1st and follows the lead of the partner.

 

Hey, If they like to kiss, just ask what kind they like. Just as you would like to know how they like to get fucked.

 

Remember the communication thing works for the partners too, not just the S. O.

 

Male D

[mde 4764 15]

We just can't imagine not kissing. That to us is just part of the total package of sexy fun. Definitely a nice way to ease into foreplay.

[gsu22 187]

I'm definitely a fan of kissing. It really adds to the whole thing. If I'm fucking someone, I also want to kiss them over and over again.....in many different places of course.....it'd be hard to not kiss for me atleast.

 

I mean you're already doing everything else

 

facelick

[good times 991]

My wife is very into kissing so that is a question we ask when getting to know another couple. As far as my wife is concerned if the other couple isn't into kissing then we are not compatible as it is a very important part of forplay for her.

 

R

[NWARcouple 16]

Originally posted by Alura

Between the two of us, it means "I love you." With anyone else it means, "Let's get hot!"

 

Alura

 

 

Admittedly, we are still undecided about kissing... As others have said, it does sound strange when we say that kissing is too personal. But, like others have also mentioned, we disassociate sex and love... Our kissing is so linked to the love element of our relationship that we are not sure if we want to do it with other couples.

 

However, Alura has definitely made a great distinction! Food for thought!!

 

J and H

 

 

~Wow, we have 9 posts!!

[2newbies 15]

i love to kiss. it is part of the fun of sex. to me oral sex is more intimate than just kissing. of course everyone has their own limits. i would respect another couples wishes if did not want to kiss, that is no problem. i just love to get close to another person and drink in their smell as i kiss them all over. it gives me butterflies...lol.

 

 

k and g

 

:evil:

[Dani&Drew 15]

It just doesn't seem right to be doing all the other stuff and not include kissing. Kissing for us is a natural start to things.

[bear_n_bunny 43]

I, for one, can't imagine playing with someone in a swinging context without kissing, nor would Bunny.

 

Of course, there are a few caveats. The thing about hygiene is something that never fails to amaze me, in the context of "what were you/they thinking?" I smoke a pipe, and know all too well about the delicate sensibilities of some people, and so take the appropriate steps However, I have to say that some of the worst bad breath I've ever encountered was with non-smokers, so it's not like us e-vil smokers have a monopoly on such unpleasantness. Needless to say, under those circumstances things don't get much past the point of a kiss, because if her mouth is that nasty, I don't even want to think about the rest of her must be like.

 

I won't get into the "a kiss"="love" attitude some people have about smooching. Different strokes and all that. But for us, in the swinging context kissing can be a very erotic act. Indeed, in some cases, kissing can be far more intimate than sex. And if we are going to get intimate enough with someone to have sex with them, we will most assuredly kiss and "make out" with them as well.

 

One thing I've noticed in recent years is how many people out there that can't kiss worth a damn. And the really interesting thing about is that the people who seem the worst at it are people close to my age (I'm approaching the big 5-0). When I was younger, it was fairly rare to encounter someone who could not kiss at least tolerably well. Do people lose the skill as they age? I'd like to hear some other people's insight into this...

 

-- Bear

[velbuzz 17]

We kiss. If I I going to spend hours on vaginal lips, a few minutes on oral lips conveys a genuine liking of the other person which is important. My wife agrees. But making out is not something we have done.

 

I guess we are prone to move a little faster with another couple than with ourselves.

[Elusive BiFem 70]

I can't imagine sex without kissing. Simple as that.

- EBF

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Not everyone is comfortable with kissing. Whether it be a first introduction or a repeated encounter.

 

I have found that if for some reason you don't want to kiss someone especially on the lips, just turn your head slightly and get a kiss on the cheek.

 

Sometimes I have to do that especially if I am not feeling well.

[hmr 25]

I also, can't consider sex without kissing! Kissing, to me, is a part of the foreplay. It is part of the arousal factor. Kissing is erotic and sensual, and very passionate. It is great to express your passion, not confusing it with love! Just passion and sensuality, sometimes it is as powerful as the sex itself. I find kissing and sex most definitely go together!!

 

I also, smoke so I make sure to bring breath mints. Even if I didn't smoke it would only be courteous, everyone's breath becomes stale after a while!

 

Bear, I can't answer that one. I've found good and bad kissers of all ages. The ones who generally work best for me are the more mature men, 40-50?. They know what they are doing, and what a woman wants. They generally know how to treat a woman. Go slower, less forceful. Then again, some just don't have the knack no matter what the age or circumstance.

mrs hmr:)

[SexhoundDog 18]

I'm with you, Mrs. Hmr. My wife also loves to kiss, and I can guarantee you that before she'd put her hands or lips on another man's cock, he'd have to be giving her some very passionate lip action to get her erotic juices flowing first.

 

And my thoughts to that are identical. I would want her to get involved in the passion of kissing or else she wouldn't have nearly as good a time, so what would be the point?

 

Being as that women have so many more erogenous zone than we men do, I'd be surprised if most don't require kissing. Although I like kissing, I suppose I could "force myself" to accept a woman going down on me without it. I'd get over it, but I'd say the wife wouldn't go for it without some kissing.

[NorCal Nites 15]

I personally LOVE kissing... what would sex or foreplay be without it? Sure, it'd be fun... but damn, besides sucking on something, my mouth would be bored!

 

I don't think I get enough of the kissing at home. Larren's just not that much of a kisser, he just doesn't like it... he swears up and down that he "doesn't do it good". Whatever. Just gimme!

[tbop 15]

I have a lot of different views and it really all depends on my mood. I really enjoy it when each of us are into each other equally. But if she's not a very good kisser, it sort of ruins the mood for me. And then I have played with couples where kissing is taboo and I respect it. But I've found that sometimes with an on-premise party, not everyone brings a tooth brush and tooth paste with them, so sometimes I get to taste the other partners earlier than I. lol. There's just so many aspects to the whole kissing issue.

[Guest Sadie]

I only allow one special guy to French kiss with me...two other guys I allow kissing on the lips only. The rest...no kissing.

[pinklady36 15]

What a great topic! Personally, I like to kiss........a lot. Like so many others have mentioned, I can't imagine sex without it! Have experienced many different kinds though. The results have been about 50/50. Must say the hubby is by far the best kisser I know. He taught me a lot about patience and technique.....what a guy!

Here's to kissing!

[b_and_sc 16]

When we first started out with this lifestyle, we talked about keeping something out...sort of making it special, just for us. We talked about certain positions or kissing. Well, for me anyway, I NEED kissing to get heated up!!! Swinging is for fun and kissing can be VERY fun...it's still different and special with hubby, so we just decided that anything goes

 

b and s

[Spoomonkey 421]

Funny this should come up. We didn't want to kiss at first, but somehow - and sitting here discussing it, we don't remember how - kissing happened. I think it was a bet during a game of cards with a couple we were close to, but somehow that started it off for us... At that point, we'd never been physical in the lifestyle, so - until recently - we'd never been with anyone for whom kissing was taboo.

 

Having been with a couple who make that off-limits, we can say that it really does make a difference for us. Granted - the couple happen to be wonderful in every other way so we will be playing with them again - but that is definitely a missing aspect of the experience.

 

Mrs Spoo definitely likes to kiss. I have turned my head for a second only to turn back around and see her tonsil-latched to an old friend or new-found single. Then again, I have done that as well...

 

We are kissers and prefer kissers... But - if you don't kiss I am sure that you can make up for it somehow

 

Spoomonkey

[zebrahead7557 16]

My husband is not a big fan of kissing other women but I love to kiss. If I am extremely attracted to a guy(sometimes a girl) it jump starts the whole physical process. Sometimes if I am not in an intercourse mood at the swingers club, I can kiss & dance all night long & be satisfied.

[mwsw4ever 15]

We love kissing both sets of lips.

[akamgaxoxo 25]

I have to say that I totally love kissing and just could not imagine playing and not being able to kiss....it really helps get my engine started and the fun goes from there!

[Styles-N-Heidi 41]

How do you guys feel about this? We met this couple in person at a party after speaking to them for a few weeks on the internet. They had never stated before that they have this rule about kissing but after talking to them in the club for awhile the female looked at me and said, "Baby I will fuck you but we don't kiss." No kissing? Amazingly this is the first time I had ever ran into this since it seems to be a common rule between couples. I never thought about how I would react before but we politely withdrew from the conversation and ended up in a room with a different couple.

 

What do you guys think of the kissing rule? How would you react to a couple that didn't want to kiss? I never thought it would bother me but when she said that and I actually thought about it I realized that it was a huge turnoff. That's the same as asking me to be a different person in bed. The same as telling me to be a less passionate lover. You will put my dick in your mouth but you wont touch my lips to yours. I just couldn't understand that.

[rpu3 630]

Yep, this has been discussed a couple times. While I can respect another person's rules, my version of respect is going to be not playing with that couple at all if it comes down to a fundamental turn-on for me. I enjoy kissing throughout a sexual experience as appropriate or wanted, and I think taking kissing out of the equation would really inhibit my good time. And like Julie mentioned, that rule might be broken by accident and no one needs that drama.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

We played with a couple that had that rule, and honest to Pete, I forgot. I felt so badly about it, it put a damper on play time. Drew said it also was awkward for him. So, we'd pass on a couple that had that rule.

 

Pepper

[Trace Ekies 186]

We find kissing to be unbelievably erotic and prefer to spend time with others who enjoy it as well.

 

I can't say we'd not play with a "no kissing" couple but we'd prefer to kiss.

[sweet_tna 680]

I've heard of couples that have the no kissing rule, and my guess would be that they feel it's too intimate of a gesture to share with anyone else. I feel like if we're going to have our mouths all over the rest of your body, why should your lips be off limits? My honey and I enjoy kissing, so I think we'd have to pass a "no kissing" couple by.

 

Welcome to the board!

 

=)

[ncmd_couple 597]

From all of my reading and such, couples that have no kissing rules are afraid of emotional entanglements with their swing partners and a passionate kiss looks to the other like they are enjoying it too much and jealousy flares. We love to kiss and cuddle, fondle and touch. We would pass on a no kissing couple as well.

[des1re06 200]

One of our regular couples has the no tongue kissing rule. I have a very hard time remembering that, but try to respect their wishes.

 

Mrs. D

[Darkblue 55]

We find kissing to be unbelievably erotic and prefer to spend time with others who enjoy it as well.

 

I can't say we'd not play with a "no kissing" couple but we'd prefer to kiss.

 

Same here

We do have a couple that we are interested in us and we in them but they dont kiss and we just love to kiss and as of yet we havent played and i dont know if we will, the last couple who had this rule with us meant we said thanks but no thanks..

 

 

Steve

[cocpl2007 170]

We would also take a pass on such a "rule"... Kissing is just too integral to the endeavor, so why bother.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Whatever works for them, great, but we would take a pass, kissing is just too much part of the fun. Sex without any kissing would feel so "mechanical" for lack of a better term. Neither of us would like that feeling, kinda like you are just being used, not doing something fun together.

 

Our initial rules conversation did cover kissing and what at first we were calling "passionate kissing" we quickly determined to be actually something else when neither could define for the other where the line would be. It didn't take us long to realize what was actually being talked about was not any particular type of kiss, but rather no emotional entanglements with playmates. We decided for one to be able to generate the kind of deep emotion in a playmate kiss that the other would feel threatening, that would mean there were bigger problems and we would know about it long before it showed itself with a kiss, so why make a bunch of kissing rules that would feel unnatural.

 

Maybe this is what a lot of couples are getting at with kissing rules, but instead of addressing their fears head-on, they prefer to do it in a roundabout way? For them, the no kissing is kind of a firewall that they find reassuring as as long as both are sticking to it

[safireblues 106]

I have to do the kissing thing, otherwise I feel like a prostitute.

[gatorvol64 216]

Kissing is just a natural thing for me. We aren't swinging now but when we were I couldn't have played with a couple that had this rule. I know me ...I'd have broken it before I even thought of it. Not intentionally mind you.

 

Vol

[redeye69 8]

No kissing that would be like going to a prostitute I would presume

[Tia Vampire 167]

Yeah, that rule does suck since we love to kiss ourselves, but it is sometime needed for certain situations and people.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I'm piling on here... we wouldn't want to play with someone who wouldn't kiss us and be kissed by us.

 

The only thing I have to add to the discussion is that we have this on our mental checklist of things to ask potential play partners. We wouldn't want to waste their time or ours.

[VanHlebar 187]

Yup we agree MrsVan and I would take a pass on any couple like this also. We have been contacted by couples like this and it is just way too much a part of sex for us to give up.

 

And like so many others have already indicated, I would be so afraid that I would forget in the heat of the moment and break the rule.

 

We are so respectful of others rules that it would make both of us feel terrible if we did it even by accident.

 

-Van

[Tybee Swing 286]

We love kissing. To both Mr. Tybee and I, kissing is one of the best parts of foreplay. I doubt that we'd play with a no-kissing-rule couple for all sorts of reasons.

[twohots4u2 188]

We love kissing. It is a great way to get things started and warmed up. Early on we started playing with a couple in a swing club that told us "no kissing." We played with them, but it sure felt strange, like taking a bath in a dry bathtub.