Question about starting wife in MFM threesomes

[bd21461 15]

We attended a swing club twice to dance and watch other couples play. Me and wife played together. I wanted to bring another man to our play just for her. I mentioned this to her, and her response is the thought of it turned her off.

 

Every time I bring this topic I always got the same response. Until lately the response changed to "are you trying to give me away?" (as a joke).

 

Her latest one is "help me lose weight first then I will start looking around. You know I'm always hot if I am not a little heavy."

 

Folks, do you think my wife is ready? If you think she is tell me how we get started.

[rpu3 630]

She may be interested. She might not be, though; she could just be saying that so that you back off. Or maybe she'd like to hear more about why you want an MFM as reassurance.

 

It sounds like she's already laid down one condition to possibly try a MFM - she wants to lose weight first. Since it's ultimately up to her whether or not the two of you try a MFM, the only thing I suggest is not worrying about how you are going to start, but help and support her in her weight loss goal. Sex, in whatever format, is a lot more fun when one is comfortable in their own skin. It sounds like she'd like to be reassured that you are still interested in her, don't want to push her off on some other guy, and would like to feel more sexy and better in her own skin before bringing a third into the mix.

 

Once BOTH of you figure out that you'd like to try an MFM, there are a lot of threads about it and a lot of advice/opinion waiting to be offered.

 

But for now, just remember the basic swinging adages that swinging proceeds at the pace of the slowest person and no means no. She's not going to proceed unless she's ready and comfortable, so instead of pushing, just keep up with the talking about it and help her with her weight loss desire.

 

Good luck.

[des1re06 200]

the thought of it turned

her off

 

Yoohoo, anybody home in there. Big, screaming letters, NO.

 

There's nothing worse than a female being pushed to do something she doesn't want to do. She will regret it and resent you for forcing it on her.

 

She has to pick the single male to join you. When she's ready to do that, then you're good to go.

 

Mrs. D

[sweet_tna 680]

We attended a swing club twice for dance and watch other couple play.

Me and wife played together. I wanted to bring another man to our play just for her. I mentioned this to her,

and her response is the thought of it turned

her off. Every time I bring this topic I always got the same response. Until

lately the response change to "are you trying to give me away?" (as a joke).

Her latest one is "help me lost weight first then I will start looking around.

You know I 'm always hot if I am not a little heavy".

Folks, do you think my wife is ready? If you think she is Tell me how we gonna start.

 

Thanks,

Bd21461

AKA Benjie

 

It sounds to me like she might be interested, but has a few insecurities to deal with. The weight thing is totally understandable. We (women) all want to look and feel as attractive as possible--especially if we're putting ourselves in a position where our physical appearance is going to be judged. That said, there are ladies of all shapes and sizes in the lifestyle. Self confidence and a good attitude goes a long way with most folks. She has to find that self confidence on her own, though you can help by reminding her just how hot and sexy you think she is and pointing out other guys who are checking her out when you're at the clubs.

 

And the, "do you want to give me away" comment sounds like some relationship insecurity. You two need to sit down and talk about why she says that. It could be that she is afraid she won't be any good, or that you don't think that just being with her is good enough for you. Whatever her concern is, you need to find that out before going any further. Same goes for the thoughts of being w/just another man turns her off.

 

Is she ready to start swinging? Not in my opinion, but that doesn't mean she won't be in time. Talk to her, be patient with her, and keep trying the clubs. She might be moving slowly now, but once she gets her confidence up and feels ready, you could be surprised.

 

=)

[Styles-N-Heidi 41]

Well I can tell you from my experiences when we first started swinging we had all these rules and boundaries, but in time through growing and adapting in the lifestyle we have become even more open minded. Initially Heidi only wanted to be with females. Which sounded great to me but after a few experiences we realized that what we initially thought we wanted was all wrong. We prefer couples now, and in an environment where you are faced with sexually open people day after day your level of comfort raises with what's going on around you and you become more acceptable to things.

 

We have went from Heidi not wanting to be with any guys at all, to preferring couples, and now she has actually mentioned something to me about wanting a MFM threesome. Be patient, never push. Stop asking her. You put it in her head right? She knows you are open to it so let her decide when she is ready if she ever is. Remember you said you were doing it for her, but if she doesn't want it and you are still mentioning it than it seems like you really aren't doing it for her.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Why are ya'll at a club if you are not ready to swing?

 

I understand ya'll are probably new. But just to go and dance and watch? Then play with each only? That's not swinging and she doesn't seem to want to by your short message for help.

 

Hopefully, you don't start swinging. She doesn't want to.

 

Sometimes no is the answer to swinging. Learn it and love it or you will be leaving it.

[MikeandDawn 59]

If it were me, I'd drop the subject entirely. If she really wants to pursue it, let her bring it up next time. It really sounds like she's feeling a bit of pressure.

[bd21461 15]

Thank you all. I will take it easy for now. Again, thank you.

Bd21461