Interracial Sex, taboo or natural.

[SCcpl40 74]

The one thing we enjoy about the lifestyle is the sexual freedom and variety it offers. To be with other couples from different backgrounds, and ages gives us a broad spectrum of the human race. We have been lucky enough to meet and become friends with just about every ethnic group and the rewards of knowing them intimately have given us a better understanding of ourselves.

 

What's odd, in different parts of this country being with certain ethnic groups seems to be taboo. What's your take?

[BCinIN 52]

Most couples we've met aren't into it, but for some reason they often don't specifically mention it in their profiles (in person they usually do). We're not into it either.

[sweet_tna 680]

I haven't run into anyone specifically stating that they weren't looking for that, but we're not an interracial couple, so I guess there's not need for it to come up. For me, that wouldn't matter, it would be the individuals involved.

 

=)

[VegasLee 1,486]

People are people to us.

 

We have noticed traveling in different parts of the country some people will not party with us because we party with people of other races.

 

That is their choice, we all make them and we are happy with our choices.

 

You don't tend to find a problem here in Vegas though. More the live and let live attitude out here.

[good times 991]

If it wasn't that it is brought up here every once in a while I would have never given it much thought. For me, your either hot or not, what color or race you are doesn't make any difference. I think we are lucky in that we live in a part of the country where we don't see much racial prejudice, at least in swinging.

[havefuninsun 122]

If it wasn't that it is brought up here every once in a while I would have never given it much thought. For me, your either hot or not, what color or race you are doesn't make any difference. I think we are lucky in that we live in a part of the country where we don't see much racial prejudice, at least in swinging.

 

I think it's hot. I think that's what makes the variety so much fun. Maybe our part of the country in the vanilla world may be more prejudice, but even in those circles I've noticed a lot more interracial couples.

 

With the folks that we hang out with, I can't imagine it being an issue.

[tropicalmix 16]

As part of an interracial couple, I definitely think we're eliminated from a lot of couples Some state if openly, but with most others it is much more subtle. We've talked to a lot of couples who've briefly expressed great interest in meeting us only to "fall off the map" after a few enthusiatic exchanges. It's our thought that our first contact has usually been with the male half and when the female half learns the lady is black, she says no thanks. Conversely, we think in interracial couples where the male half is black, the women may be more curious and it might be the husbands who would have more issues with it. Just our thoughts.

[VanHlebar 187]

I don't think too much about it. It all comes down to if I am attracted to the person or not. If they happen to be black, Asian, Indian or white it really doesn't matter.

 

if I get along with them and I find them attractive then it is all good as far as I am concerned.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

As long as the attraction is there to start with, doesn't matter to us.

[Ed & Bunny 160]

If it wasn't that it is brought up here every once in a while I would have never given it much thought. For me, your either hot or not, what color or race you are doesn't make any difference.

 

I completely agree. Personaly I find the difference a turn on. But ultimately, if I am attracted, it doesnt matter your race.

[crazycatz 17]

To be honest, discriminating sexual partners on the basis of ethnicity or 'race' is in fact racism. And to consider it a taboo is also racism. I know those are loaded words to throw out there...and i'm not accusing anyone of being racist...just that those sentiments are racist.

 

People are people....not 'races.' and who you are sexually attracted to should have no relation to 'race'.

Likewise, i think the other side of the coin is people who treat ethnicity as a fetish.

[havefuninsun 122]

To be honest, discriminating sexual partners on the basis of ethnicity or 'race' is in fact racism. And to consider it a taboo is also racism. I know those are loaded words to throw out there...and i'm not accusing anyone of being racist...just that those sentiments are racist.

 

People are people....not 'races.' and who you are sexually attracted to should have no relation to 'race'.

Likewise, i think the other side of the coin is people who treat ethnicity as a fetish.

 

I totally disagree. According to dictionary.com, racism is:

 

1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.

2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.

3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

 

I think if someone doesn't want to play with someone of a different race or nationality is a CHOICE. Personally, there are some races I'm just not inherently attracted do. Does that make me a racist? Because I'm not attracted to you, does that mean I think that "... [there are] inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others"? Absolutely not.

 

Is ATTRACTION for or not a particular race of people racism? Clearly not.

 

I don't think you can make your blanket statement.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Um....it's pretty natural for me .

 

Sure, we run into people who don't want to play interracially from time to time. They usually act as if we'll be crushed, but I typically find it to be pretty dang amusing. In fact, a few weeks ago, a guy from a couple who blocked all interracial couples, including us, chatted me up at a social. I took great delight in walking away.

 

I don't consider it racist if you have certain preferences. We have ours too. And more than likely, our preferences would not include those that wouldn't prefer us. It typically evens itself out.

 

Pepper

[WesternSwing 504]

To be honest, discriminating sexual partners on the basis of ethnicity or 'race' is in fact racism. And to consider it a taboo is also racism. I know those are loaded words to throw out there...and i'm not accusing anyone of being racist...just that those sentiments are racist.

I have to wholehearted disagree. There are those that exclude others because of racism, but there are also those that just aren't attracted to certain "looks" about people. For instance, I'm not particularily attracted to Asian women. I just don't see the fascination some of my friends have for them. Their "look" really doesn't do much for me. Now Latinas? Watch-out! I am very attracted to Latinas for some reason or another. I can't tell you exactly why, but I am. Also, I love brunettes more than blondes, and redheads more than both.

 

Also, I'm Caucasian and there are women in the lifestyle that are married to black men that have no interest in me. White men are just not their thing. And, as I mentioned about Asian women and me, I can understand this. Am I offended by it because a white woman doesn't want me, a white man? No. It's their preference of what they consider attractive.

 

People are people....not 'races.' and who you are sexually attracted to should have no relation to 'race'.

I agree here, but unfortunately racism is alive and well all over the world. I personally am attracted to a person, not any particular feature about them. For instance, although I'm not attracted to Asian women on the whole, I have come across a few that have just had me going gaga.

 

Likewise, i think the other side of the coin is people who treat ethnicity as a fetish.

This is true, especially the "black man" fetish. This has been discussed before, and although I see many black men playing it up in the Lifestyle, most seem to be offended at being treated like a novelty or a conquest of another thing to check-off on a list of sexual things to do. I know I'd be offended.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

good times said:

If it wasn't that it is brought up here every once in a while I would have never given it much thought. For me, your either hot or not, what color or race you are doesn't make any difference. I think we are lucky in that we live in a part of the country where we don't see much racial prejudice, at least in swinging.

 

We feel the same way, and oddly we were just talking about this the other night. The downside is we live in the south so obviously people can be very racist here and it comes from both sides. We were looking through profiles together last week and there were quite a few that we had to pass over both from white and black couples who declared that they only swing within their own race... and while that wouldn't preclude us with a white couple... just as racist people may say they won't swing with someone who swings with a different race... I won't swing with someone who is openly racist to the point of automatically precluding a race based on color alone.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

This is a topic that greatly affects us, not only because we are an interracial couple (bm/wf), but because Sheryl made a decision three years ago to play exclusively with black men. We announced that decision nearly three years ago, and it caused quite a stir!

 

We never find ourselves getting turned down by others because of Greg's race, but that is in part because we don't approach others unless they specifically state that they are open to all races or seeking black men. In fact, we find ourselves in high demand within the lifestyle because Greg is black. We don't know if this is because of the "taboo factor," but a lot of women in Colorado share Sheryl's preference for black men. For some, the desire is so strong that you might classify it as a fetish, but we are more bemused than offended by that.

[hamlet 53]

I was really surprised to see this topic come up, because I would have thought it to be a non-issue. As we've watched our kids grow up, one thing we've often remarked upon is that dating combinations (male/male; black/white; female/female, etc.) which were somewhat shocking when we were younger are barely even noticed by them. In fact, when we've seen them treat such pairings as perfectly natural, it's one of the few things that gives us hope for the future social development of humankind.

 

Yet here we are (those of us on this board, I mean) in the lifestyle, pursuing behavior that is considered taboo by the vanilla world around us, and apparently even in our 'alternative" world, there's something less than 100% tolerance for other alternative behavior. I don't by any means intend to suggest that someone who happens to have a preference for black or white partners is a racist, any more than I'd call someone bigoted who had a preference for taller or shorter partners: our turn-ons are our turn-ons and can rarely be negotiated. But the notion that anyone might consider a black-white pairing to somehow be wrong is really surprising. Then again, perhaps that's only an additional piece of evidence (not that additional evidence is really necessary) that I'm entirely out of touch with what's going on out there.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

Greg & Sheryl said:

This is a topic that greatly affects us, not only because we are an interracial couple (bm/wf), but because Sheryl made a decision three years ago to play exclusively with black men. We announced that decision in this thread nearly three years ago, and it caused quite a stir!

 

We never find ourselves getting turned down by others because of Greg's race, but that is in part because we don't approach others unless they specifically state that they are open to all races or seeking black men. In fact, we find ourselves in high demand within the lifestyle because Greg is black. We don't know if this is because of the "taboo factor," but a lot of women in Colorado share Sheryl's preference for black men. For some, the desire is so strong that you might classify it as a fetish, but we are more bemused than offended by that.

No demand here. You would not be welcome among around these parts, but not because of your color, because of your attitude. Your original post was very offensive to white males and white people overall but I'm sure you knew that. Why did you bring this racist crap up in the first place? Why are you bringing it up again?

[VegasLee 1,486]

I am white, have been for a very long time and the post by Greg & Sheryl today and in 2005 did not offend me in any way.

Please speak for yourself, don't think you can speak for all white males.

 

I have met them and known them for many years, I know personally they are not racist in anyway.

 

As I said in 2005, this is a public forum, they have every right to speak their mind just as everyone else that visits this site.

 

You don't have to like what they say but they have the right to say it.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

SCcpl40 said:

What's odd, in different parts of this country being with certain ethnic groups seems to be taboo. What's your take?

Taboo?

 

Where have you lived that you found this to be so?

 

Around these parts there is no "taboo" talk goin' round. The forums on ad sites we belong to never talk about any race being a no-no. In fact, quite the opposite. Swingers openly discuss their preferences in playmates, whether it be the details of what they look like, how they like to play, what their kinks are, whether they are bikers, bowlers, or sports fans, whether they like to travel, barbeque and make "friends first" before they get down to sex, and sometimes they say they are really turned on by certain ethnic groups. No one objects to hearing any of this.

 

This thread has redirected itself to the same old issue of racism, and I think it's turning away from your original question...unless the purpose of your OP was to get a discussion on racism going?

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

This thread has redirected itself to the same old issue of racism, and I think it's turning away from your original question...unless the purpose of your OP was to get a discussion on racism going?

We don't personally subscribe to this theory, but there is a school of thought that believes the idea of interracial sex is arousing to many precisely because it is so taboo. This thinking is common among couples who engage in interracial cuckolding, which is a lifestyle that appears to be gaining in popularity. You wouldn't believe how often we get contacted by couples who are dying to have to have the wife play with a black man. Interracial sex is definitely a taboo fetish for them.

 

Unfortunately, accusations of racism always pop up whenever racial issues are discussed in any context. That's not just limited to this forum; that's just the way our society is.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

LikeMinds321 said:

Taboo?

 

Where have you lived that you found this to be so?

 

Around these parts there is no "taboo" talk goin' round. The forums on ad sites we belong to never talk about any race being a no-no.

 

I'm not sure where you live, but it's certainly an oddity. I could give you some SLS handles, and I could also tell you some stories that would make your hair stand on end. Our profile now mentions that I'm not a Disney ride for that very reason. Lots of people have contacted us because of the taboo factor.

 

The swinging world will evolve no slower or faster than the rest of the world.

 

Pepper

[Spoomonkey 421]

It is natural...

 

But it also comes down to preferences. I am not attracted to certain things about some women - that could be size, intelligence and even skin color. The same is said for Mrs Spoo.

 

As for ethnic women, I am not particularly attracted. Why? No idea. But have I met black women that I would fall over for? Absolutely. I have even been with black women and dated one for a time. Sometimes the person overcomes the preference

[NumbskullsX2 24]

I am white, have been for a very long time and the post by Greg & Sheryl today and in 2005 did not offend me in any way.

Please speak for your self, don't think you can speak for all white males.

Dude, it was offensive. If he came into our establishment and started spewing that racist shit, I would personally see him to the door mainly for his own protection. If "she" doesn't want to be with white men, fine, I could give a phlying phuck but WHY go into all her reasons for not doing it except to give him an excuse to spew his racist bullshit? That's what starts fights. (and keeps food on my table, thank you).

 

We all have our preferences. If you don't want to be with somebody, just say "no thanks" and leave it be. Don't say "no thanks, because your wife is old, fat, and ugly and mine is young and pretty" or "no thanks, because we're trying to avoid STD's therefor we don't f*** n*****s or people who f**k* n*****s"

 

Saying that somebody else said it then repeating it here doesn't make it right, either, otherwise skinheads could start repeating a bunch of stuff Hitler said about negros (none of which I believe, of course) and you couldn't call them racists because they were just repeating what Hitler said, not what they believe. (Yea, right )

 

Maybe that crap plays in your club vegaslee, but I can tell you it absolutly, positivley doesn't play in ours. If it did, we'd find another club.

 

 

they have every right to speak their mind just as everyone else that visits this site. You don't have to like what they say but they have the right to say it.

So do I, and I just did.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

SCcpl40 said:

What's odd, in different parts of this country being with certain ethnic groups seems to be taboo. What's your take?

In Ohio, Indiana, & Kentucky it doesn't seem to matter. If people are cool, they'll make friends wherever they go and whatever their color. If they're not, they won't.

 

Some people aren't cool and don't make friends, but rather than manning-up and admitting they are the problem, they blame it on the other person's color.

[tropicalmix 16]

In the end, it's all about attraction. If you won't play with another couple you're attracted to because of their race, you're stupid and it's no one's loss but your own. But many people are simply not attracted, for whatever reason, to certain body types, ages, races, etc. If there's no attraction, it's foolish to think of playing just to be politically correct.

[VegasLee 1,486]

NumbskullsX2,

 

We are going to have to agree to disagree. It offended you, it did not offend me.

 

Sheryl is not the first white women I have heard explain her reasons for not wanting to be with a white man and I was not offended when the other women explained their reasons either. Just how I am.

 

I take it as nothing more than an explanation, not being racist. That is how I am. I don't try to read more into people's words then what is there.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

We are going to have to agree to disagree. It offended you, it did not offend me.

I agree, we'll disagree. If you're not offended by it, there's no good to be gained by trying to make you offended. I'm sure there are racists in this lifestyle just like any other, and it's to their credit that most of the time they don't bring it up where it's likely to cause problems with other people. Even if we don't agree with their racist views (whether their against blacks or whites) we at least ought to give them a high-five for keeping it to themselves in public.

 

Peace, brother

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

NumbskullsX2 said:

If "she" doesn't want to be with white men, fine, I could give a phlying phuck but WHY go into all her reasons for not doing it except to give him an excuse to spew his racist bullshit?

We posted our reasons because we felt it was an interesting and relevant point for discussion in this forum. The entire point of the Swingers Board is for all of us to delve into issues we face in this lifestyle. How and why we arrive at our criteria for choosing playmates, whether it involves race, age, size, beauty, education or social status, is a legitimate issue for discussion.

 

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If you don't want to be with somebody, just say "no thanks" and leave it be. Don't say "no thanks, because your wife is old, fat, and ugly and mine is young and pretty" or "no thanks, because we're trying to avoid STD's therefor we don't f*** n*****s or people who f**k* n*****s"

We don't recall making any personal insults or racial slurs, so we don't think your examples are completely analogous to our original statement. However, your examples are actual reasons we've heard from others regarding playmate selection, but they are generally stated in a much more diplomatic fashion, so we respect those points of view. In giving our reasons, we tried to be as tactful as possible. Most of our colleagues in this forum understood and respected our tactfulness, but we suppose there will always be a percentage of people who don't "get it."

 

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Saying that somebody else said it then repeating it here doesn't make it right, either, otherwise skinheads could start repeating a bunch of stuff Hitler said about negros (none of which I believe, of course) and you couldn't call them racists because they were just repeating what Hitler said, not what they believe. (Yeah, right )

We're not quite sure how this example could be applied to this forum, but based on this and your "she" remark, our best guess is that you think Greg is using Sheryl to justify his racism. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, Greg disagreed with Sheryl's decision three years ago and we still occasionally debate it today. By limiting our play to black and interracial couples, not only does this greatly reduce our pool of potential playmates, but Greg misses out on playing with some genuinely outstanding ladies just because their husbands aren't the right color. This includes some wonderful friends we've made in our six years on this forum.

 

Greg's argument is that is okay to have a preference for black men and to seek them out accordingly, but it is wrong to disregard a potentially outstanding lover just because of the color of his skin. Unfortunately, Sheryl doesn't see it that way. Her decision was based on years of personal experience in the lifestyle, and she's not budging from it. If you have any doubts about this, you can ask VegasLee, because we have had this conversation with him.

 

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Maybe that crap plays in your club vegaslee, but I can tell you it absolutely, positively doesn't play in ours. If it did, we'd find another club.

Provided there is a decent pool of black men for Sheryl to choose from, there is little doubt that we would have fun at your club. When we go to a club, we go there to play rather than discuss our motives, so this issue wouldn't even come up. If you honestly think our reasoning is flawed, simply say so and state why. Personal attacks and name-calling don't do anything but make the Swingers Board a less enjoyable place to be.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

Greg & Sheryl said:

Unfortunately, accusations of racism always pop up whenever racial issues are discussed in any context. That's not just limited to this forum; that's just the way our society is.

Greg, I just agreed to disagree with the other guy. Now I'm gonna disagree with you.

 

I don't think "accusations of racism pop up whenever racial issues are discussed in any context" I think they pop up when YOU mention them, and it's because of the way you mention them. If you look back at every response to this thread, everybody who has responded (so far at least) has said either that race is no big deal, or that it's not their preference but that they don't have a problem with people of other races in the lifestyle. Then you come along and say stuff like "This is a topic that greatly affects us because Sheryl made a decision to play exclusively with black men."

 

Even that guy I agreed not to agree with, we do agree on one thing - that race doesn't matter to us. So why does to matter so much to YOU, and how can WE possibly fix YOUR problem with white people?

 

One thing I tell new people in this lifestyle is that if they want to enjoy it and not have problems in clubs or socials, they need to check their attitudes at the door. They don't like tatts or BBW's? Leave it at the door, I say. Don't like older couples, younger couples, or single people? Leave it at the door. Be nice. Don't like black people or white people? Leave it at the door, I tell them, they can pick up their racist bullshit on the way out. Don't worry, nobody else will take it because nobody else wants it.

 

Most of the people in here, it seems like that what they do. But YOU man, YOU wear it right there on your sleeve! No, right on your chest, for everybody to see. (I've seen your website dude!) For the benefit of those who haven't seen it, maybe you ought to make little name tags that say, "Hello, I'm Sheryl, and I hate ALL white men because they can't keep it up" and "Hello, I'm Greg, Sheryl's husband, and I also have a bone to pick with white men (but I'm not telling you what it is)" It wouldn't make you any friends, but it wold be a good way of stirring up shit, which is obviously what you intended to do.

 

Whatever problem YOUR having with "racism" in this lifestyle, I have a feeling you are having everywhere else you go.

[Cerberus 16]

More risk for HIV in some races. So that could a limiting factor for play

[NumbskullsX2 24]

Greg & Sheryl said:

We posted our reasons because we felt it was an interesting and relevant point for discussion in this forum. The entire point of the Swingers Board is for all of us to delve into issues we face in this lifestyle.

That was my point Greg that they're issues for YOU not for US. WE all manage to get along without insulting other races or bringing down an entire race just because they "fail to satisfy" your wife.

 

Greg & Sheryl said:

our best guess is that you think Greg is using Sheryl to justify his racism.

Yes, when you continually repeat it as you have here, I do think your using her. When a politician quotes a founding father, he does it to justify HIS patriotism, not the founding fathers. When your Pastor quotes the Bible, he does it to justify HIS religious beliefs, not Jesus's. When a skinhead quotes Hitler, he does it to justify HIS racism, not Hitlers. And when YOU continually quote your wife???

 

By the way, why is it always YOU telling us what SHE thinks? Why don't you tell us what YOU think, and let her do the same? She can type, right?

Greg & Sheryl said:

By limiting our play to black and interracial couples, not only does this greatly reduce our pool of potential playmates, but Greg misses out on playing with some genuinely outstanding ladies just because their husbands aren't the right color.

Yeah, and by bein' a DICK you limit them even more. Oops, did I say that? I meant "somebody I know" said it. I was just repeating what THEY said. I don't believe it, of course.

 

Greg & Sheryl said:

Unfortunately, Sheryl doesn't see it that way. Her decision was based on years of personal experience in the lifestyle, and she's not budging from it. If you have any doubts about this, you can ask VegasLee, because we have had this conversation with him.

I don't need to talk to Vegaslee, he's a guy with a website who runs promotions for a club out in la-la land. Basically nothin' to me or me to him. You talk about her "years of experience" like it's a fact. Well, we have "years of experience" too, and we've never had a problem with white men. Maybe if your wife tried losing a few pounds or fixing her hair, the guys would have tried harder to please her.

 

(Just for the record, I don't feel that way, my wife told me to say that. Also, I DO NOT THINK YOU'RE A DICK. They, "these people I know", do)

[bill&sabrina 22]

More risk for HIV in some races. So that could a limiting factor for play

 

I was at the CDC website looking at statistics yesterday. Maybe I missed them, but I didn't see statistics for multiple partners.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

NumbskullsX2 said:

I don't think "accusations of racism pop up whenever racial issues are discussed in any context" I think they pop up when YOU mention them, and it's because of the way you mention them.

This is just flat out untrue. If you look through our posting history, you'll see that we have touched upon racial issues on a number of occasions over the years, and most of the time the conversation has been civil. In fact, you'll see in our aforementioned original thread that JnCC was the only person who genuinely took issue with us, while everyone else defended Sheryl's choice even if they didn't necessarily agree with it. The comment we made about accusations of racism was a facetious comment on our society and how talking about race often arouses passion.

 

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Then you come along and say stuff like "This is a topic that greatly affects us because Sheryl made a decision to play exclusively with black men."

We felt this was a tactfully-worded statement of fact which was relevant to the topic brought up by the original poster. If you were offended by the way we said it, can you suggest a less-offensive way this could have been stated?

 

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So why does to matter so much to YOU, and how can WE possibly fix YOUR problem with white people?

Greg doesn't have a problem with white people. If he did, he wouldn't have married one. Sheryl doesn't have a problem with white people, she just doesn't want to have sex with white men anymore.

 

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One thing I tell new people in this lifestyle is that if they want to enjoy it and not have problems in clubs or socials, they need to check their attitudes at the door.

You've never seen us conduct ourselves at a party or social, so you do not have enough evidence to judge our behavior at those events. We actually do check our attitudes at the door, and we have plenty of fun socializing with people of all races even though we may not play with them.

 

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But YOU man, YOU wear it right there on your sleeve! No, right on your chest, for everybody to see. (I've seen your website dude!) For the benefit of those who haven't seen it, maybe you ought to make little name tags that say, "Hello, I'm Sheryl, and I hate ALL white men because they can't keep it up" and "Hello, I'm Greg, Sheryl's husband, and I also have a bone to pick with white men (but I'm not telling you what it is)."

There is nothing on our website that even implies any hatred of the sort. If you would be so kind as to point out what part of our website actually does, we would be more than willing to change it. While the website promotes the joy of sex with black men, it is not intended to come across an anti-white.

 

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It wouldn't make you any friends, but it wold be a good way of stirring up shit, which is obviously what you intended to do.

Our intention was to add to the conversation, not stir up any trouble. If we had wanted to do that, we would have used racial slurs or advocated the biological inferiority of certain races, but we did neither. Furthermore, you seem to be the only one genuinely angered by our statements, so if our intent was to stir up trouble among the rank and file of the Swingers Board, we failed miserably short of that goal.

 

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Whatever problem YOUR having with "racism" in this lifestyle, I have a feeling your having every where else you go.

We don't, on either count.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

NumbskullsX2 said:

THat was my point Greg that they're issues for YOU not for US.

This is not just an issue for us. It is an issue for anyone on Swingers Board who has any opinion about the role race plays in the swinging lifestyle. If you feel it shouldn't be an issue, why are you not attacking the original poster of this thread?

 

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WE all manage to get along without insulting other races or bringing down an entire race just because they "fail to satisfy" your wife.

That statement speaks purely to Sheryl's experience and does not bring down an entire race. If our intention was to put down all white men, we would have said "White men can never get it up." In defending Sheryl, Pepper & Drew put it best when they said, "Just because that's her reason doesn't mean it's true overall...it's just true in HER world. I think that's not the case in most people's worlds, so I don't think there's a need to censor the statements."

 

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Yes, when you continually repeat it as you have here, I do think your using her. Why is it always YOU telling us what SHE thinks? Why don't you tell us what YOU think, and let her do the same? She can type, right?

Because we try to speak to our experience in the lifestyle, we try to use the first-person "we" whenever possible, but when we speak to our individual experiences, we use the third person (Greg or Sheryl) when referring to one another. How do you know it's not Sheryl composing this post?

 

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You talk about her "years of experience" like it's a fact.

It is a fact. You'll see underneath our icon that we joined the Swingers Board in November 2001, and Sheryl started swinging with her previous husband (who was white, by the way) back in the early 90's.

 

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Well, we have "years of experience" too, and we've never had a problem with white men. Maybe if your wife tried losing a few pounds or fixing her hair, the guys would have tried harder to please her.

If the white men in Sheryl's past had that much of a problem with the way she looked, then they had no business trying to play with her in the first place. We don't mind debating this issue with you, but it would be nice if you could leave the personal insults out of it.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

I was at the CDC website looking at statistics yesterday. Maybe I missed them, but I didn't see statistics for multiple partners.

Cerberus was referring to the higher rate of HIV infection among African-Americans. Some couples use that statistic to justify why they won't play with black or interracial couples. One couple we knew required condoms when playing with black men even though they were okay going bareback with other races.

[bill&sabrina 22]

Greg & Sheryl said:

Cerberus was referring to the higher rate of HIV infection among African-Americans. Some couples use that statistic to justify why they won't play with black or interracial couples. One couple we knew required condoms when playing with black men even though they were okay going bareback with other races.

 

I knew what Cerebrus meant. Like it appears you are saying, it's a silly point. Which was my point.

[good times 991]

NumbskullsX2,

 

I think you are confusing a discussion on this forum with what one would do at a club, which are two entirely different things.

 

For the discussions here on the forum, what would be the point if people weren't willing to be honest in how the feel or what their preferences are?

 

While I may say something on the forums like, "I will not play with green women", I would never say that to someone at a club. Instead I would just decline to play with someone who is green because she doesn't meet my preferences, without specifically saying why. As far as I am concerned, ones preferences are just that, preferences. I may never play with green women, but I would only state that here as a contribution to the discussion. I don't think it makes me racist that green women don't turn me on, they just don't.

 

For the record, I am a white guy, and I didn't find any of Greg & Sheryl's posts offensive either.

[TNT 1,155]

NumbskullsX2,

 

I'm not sure what your problem is with Greg and frankly, I don't care. He (Greg) has remained very polite in this thread, whereas you have not...evident by the quote below...and that I do care about.

 

PERSONAL ATTACKS ARE NOT TOLERATED ON THIS BOARD.

 

Everyone has the right to state their opinion but keep personal attacks to yourself or through PM's.

 

NumbskullsX2 said:

Maybe if your wife tried losing a few pounds or fixing her hair, the guys would have tried harder to please her.

 

(Just for the record, I don't feel that way, my wife told me to say that. Also, I DO NOT THINK YOU'RE A DICK. They, "these people I know", do)

 

The original question in this thread was....

 

SCcpl40 said:

The one thing we enjoy about the lifestyle is the sexual freedom and variety it offers. To be with other couples from different backgrounds, and ages gives us a broad spectrum of the human race. We have been lucky enough to meet and become friends with just about every ethnic group and the rewards of knowing them intimately have given us a better understanding of ourselves.

 

 

What's odd, in different parts of this country being with certain ethnic groups seems to be taboo. What's your take?

 

I'm sure for some, being with someone of a different ethnic group is a turn on due to a "taboo" factor. For others, people are people and skin color means nothing.

 

Teresa

[longtermcouple 12]

My wife enjoyed her first experience with a black man a couple years ago at a swing party. I watched her give him oral and her receiving oral from him.

 

They then had wild sex. I never seen her legs so high in the air in my life nor have I ever her moan louder. She cum bigtime in less than 2 minutes after penetration. I never seen her happier even though she had been with a lot of other (white) guys who she never did cum with.

 

I love the idea of my wife with another (black) man because of her BEST sex yet/

[havefuninsun 122]

I had a feeling this thread was going to go to hell in a hand basket.

 

Greg, thanks for keeping your cool and being the polite person I've gotten to "know" through this forum. I think you guys rock.

 

READ CAREFULLY: Everyone has a right to their preference. It's that simple. And that's all this was supposed to be about. It's not uncommon for people to want to experience something they've never had before, and it feel sorta "taboo"-ish ... sorta sexy and maybe even a little naughty. Maybe you grow up in a household that thinks "your kind should stick together" so when you get to grow up and make your own decisions and KNOW that skin color doesn't mean anything more than SKIN COLOR, it's a turn-on to seek out something different.

 

Attraction is a fickle thing. Some people just don't think lilly bright white skin people are attractive. Some people just don't think very dark skin is attractive. Certain looks just don't do it for some. And some looks just DO.

 

This board does not lend itself to folks who are racist. Look at the contributors. Look at the posters. So if black men just do it for Sheryl, and that's all she's interested in, YOU GO GIRL. If some 40-something year old women only want to swing with 25 year old guys and they can attract those hot young hunks, YOU GO GIRL(S). There's no difference. Why is that hard to swallow? (is that a pun?!?)

 

Can we please drop this now?

[NumbskullsX2 24]

Ok, I'm going to delete most of this post. If anybody is planning a long repsonse to it, I'm sorry. I agree that this thread is going to hell in a handbasket. I would be happy to debate the subject of interracial sex, but like everybody BUT Greg, I just don't give a rat's ass about it. Besides which, I can't discuss a subject with somebody who throws out flames then hides behind his wife saying "she said it, not me"

 

(I could, but it would get ugly very fast, as you have seen)

 

Greg, this "interracial sex" thing is obviously a very big part of your reason for being in the lifestyle. So because of that, and because you like to incite people, I'm going to leave some of your comments about the subject here. That way, anybody who stumbles upon them in the future can decide for themselves if you're racist or not.

 

Quote

 

"Sheryl finally decided to stop swinging with white men because they have consistently underperformed in bed -On the other hand, black men would almost always leave her satisfied"

 

"You have no idea how many white couples contact us because they have this fetish for the BBC"

 

"we personally know one black man how has made a virtual career out of being the big black cock for horny white wives"

 

 

and saving the best for last,

 

Quote

"With white men, the problem usually falls into one of two categories. Either they cum too early (after only four or five strokes during intercourse) or they can't get an erection at all (and then make some lame statement like, "This has never happened to me before!"). This has happened at least 60% of the time during swinging encounters with white men. Black men, on the other hand, rarely seem to have these problems."

 

If you wanted to take a swipe at white guys, you succeeded. If you wanted to stir up some shit that would provoke me into saying something bad about black people, you failed. I still believe in the Hells Angels creed, "Treat me well, I'll treat you better. Treat me badly, I'll treat you worse".

 

The topic of this thread was originally "Interracial Sex: Taboo or Natural?" and I answered it (very politely and without making personal comments) in post #25.

[Chicup 41]

Greg & Sheryl's comments were racist.

 

They used race as a determining factor and implied that white men were somehow inferior to black men sexually.

 

Not sure why anyone would get worked up about it though. My penis is a racist too, I find most black women unattractive. My wife is even a bigger sexual racist where she ONLY wants to play with white men.

 

Its just our sexual preferences and play no part in our day to day lives. Her best friend in college was Asian, even though she's not attracted to Asians sexually.

 

To me it doesn't feel any different than discriminating on body type or height or whatever when it comes to sex.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Pepper & Drew said:

I'm not sure where you live, but it's certainly an oddity. I could give you some SLS handles, and I could also tell you some stories that would make your hair stand on end. Our profile now mentions that I'm not a Disney ride for that very reason. Lots of people have contacted us because of the taboo factor.

 

The swinging world will evolve no slower or faster than the rest of the world.

 

Pepper

 

I hate to say it but it's all still too alive and well in the south. I know there are even still (swinger) clubs around that don't allow people of certain races to attend.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Hey, it's deja vu all over again! I believe this happened the last time too...

 

Jeez, people, get a grip. All she said was that she wasn't going to have sex with white men any more. You see, it smarts a bit when people say they're not interested in you--no matter what the reason may be. But, really, what you have to learn is that 1) you aren't going to change anyone else's mind, no matter how much you curse at them or type in caps 2) not everyone thinks you're hot, whether you're a white guy, a black woman, a little blond chick, an Asian male, etc. 3) people will have preferences and prejudices. We all come with baggage. Getting your knickers in a twist only raises your blood pressure and does nothing else constructive.

 

Do I pop a blood vessel when people say they're not attracted to black women? Hell, no! As it stands now, it's just weeding people off of my dance card. So many men and women, so little time....

 

Pepper

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

NumbskullsX2 said:

I agree that this thread is going to hell in a handbasket. I would be happy to debate the subject of interracial sex, but like everybody BUT Greg, I just don't give a rat's ass about it.

For someone who claims to not care, you certainly have expressed a long of anger in this thread. We think most of our colleagues in this forum would agree that you are solely responsible for sending this thread into that direction.

 

Quote

Besides which, I can't discuss a subject with somebody who throws out flames then hides behind his wife saying "she said it, not me"

The source of any statement in this forum shouldn't matter. If you feel that a rationale is flawed, simply so say and state why. Even if you feel that a statement is inflammatory, a calm, well-reasoned response is much more effective than a personal attack.

 

Quote

Greg, this "interracial sex" thing is obviously a very big part of your reason for being in the lifestyle.

You are drawing conclusions about Greg without knowing anything about his history. Greg's swinging experience dates back to college when he and a girlfriend dabbled in the lifestyle. He also delved into swinging with another girlfriend who was responsible for his move from Austin to Denver, and with his first wife to whom he was married from 1991-1998. Each of these women were black. Sheryl was the first white woman to ever serve as Greg's swing partner, and the two of us played freely with couples of all colors for the first four years we were together, so the desire for interracial sex is not a motive for his participation in the lifestyle.

 

Quote

So because of that, and because you like to incite people, I'm going to leave some of your comments about the subject here. That way, anybody who stumbles upon them in the future can decide for themselves if you're racist or not.

You're the only person in this thread who was incited, so if our intent is to incite people, we aren't doing a very good job. Besides, we didn't earn a positive post rating over the course of six years and 500+ posts by inciting people.

 

Quote

"Sheryl finally decided to stop swinging with white men because they have consistently underperformed in bed -On the other hand, black men would almost always leave her satisfied"

 

"You have no idea how many white couples contact us because they have this fetish for the BBC"

 

"we personally know one black man how has made a virtual career out of being the big black cock for horny white wives"

 

and saving the best for last,

 

"With white men, the problem usually falls into one of two categories. Either they cum too early (after only four or five strokes during intercourse) or they can't get an erection at all (and then make some lame statement like, "This has never happened to me before!"). This has happened at least 60% of the time during swinging encounters with white men. Black men, on the other hand, rarely seem to have these problems."

Anyone who wants to research our points of view can look up our posting history, so quoting us out of context here doesn't accomplish much. To clarify, quotes 1 and 4 speak specifically to Sheryl's experiences with white men and should not be taken as a general statements for all white men. Quotes 2 and 3 are factual statements of what we have experienced and seen in the lifestyle, so they aren't even subjective!

 

Quote

If you wanted to take a swipe at white guys, you succeeded. If you wanted to stir up some shit that would provoke me into saying something bad about black people, you failed. I still believe in the Hells Angels creed, "Treat me well, I'll treat you better. Treat me badly, I'll treat you worse"

We still maintain we did not take any swipes at white guys, and the fact that no other white men in this forum has reacted in your manner proves that to our satisfaction. For reasons we do not understand, you alone choose to take offense and tried to attack our character. We have tried our best to clarify our statements to you, but we don't think you've taken much time to digest our responses. Once you made up your mind that we were bad people, that was all you needed to go on.

 

Quote

The topic of this thread was originally "Interracial Sex: Taboo or Natural?" and I answered it (very politely and without making personal comments) in post #25.

It's regretful you didn't extend the same courtesy to us.

[Tybee Swing 286]

What's odd, in different parts of this country being with certain ethnic groups seems to be taboo. What's your take?

 

We don't see it, this "taboo" in the lifestyle. We're in deep south GA, we play in this region, and it's not an overriding problem around here.

[redeye69 8]

Wow this thread has certainly stirred up a hornets nest . I have been lucky enough to have met and gone out with girls from many different country's and enjoyed them all firstly for there company then for the great sex .

[SCcpl40 74]

We don't see it, this "taboo" in the lifestyle. We're in deep south GA, we play in this region, and it's not an overriding problem around here.

 

Do people separate couples they will play with in the lifestyle from couples they would openly have dinner with in public? Just curious, the fact that it's not an overriding problem indicates in some instances it would be?

 

We don't think that color of skin defines a persons attractiveness. Look at the money that's spent on tanning beds, the countless hours people lay in the sun to change their color. Do you think the media as a whole keeps the issue alive in this day and time?

 

It's not as simple as white/black, even among people of color, there's some issues with how deep of skin color you have.

 

We started this thread to see if we were alone in our reactions from other couples that because we don't exclude others on the base of race, we become excluded. We see now, that it is common. Thanks for your comments!

[BiloxiCouple 695]

The wife and I had a talk about this and I decided that I would not have sex with white men either. Or any other man Just too taboo for me right now.