Woud you settle for "Only" a Handjob?

[JoeCentralNY 15]

Let's say you're someone who has done mfm threesomes or would be interested in trying one. A couple agrees to involve you for perhaps what would best fit into the category of "soft swing." The man's wife or significant other would be willing to give you a handjob but go no further. A cumshot on her chest would be negotiable.

 

Have you ever been in this situation? If not, would you consider doing it? Why or why not?

[sweet_tna 680]

If their boundaries aren't compatible with what you're interested in doing, I'd say pass. Plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

=)

[ourrockstarlife 15]

If their boundaries aren't compatible with what you're interested in doing, I'd say pass. Plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

=)

 

Well said and that about sums it up

[graygo98 148]

I haven't been in that situation myself. But I can understand the other couple's perspective.

 

If they are looking for this type of play they are probably just starting out. They want to explore and push the envelope of their sexuality but aren't comfortable with the idea of intercourse with their play partner. I don't imagine that couples in that space are all that uncommon.

 

If there is a lot of chemistry this could be an incredibly erotic and worthwhile experience. But, if it doesn't work for you without penetration then take a pass. Totally depends on what turns your crank.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

Let's say you're someone who has done mfm threesomes or would be interested in trying one. A couple agrees to involve you for perhaps what would best fit into the category of "soft swing." The man's wife or significant other would be willing to give you a handjob but go no further. A cumshot on her chest would be negotiable.

 

Have you ever been in this situation? If not, would you consider doing it? Why or why not?

If you're a married male doing this without your wife, you should be DAMN glad for anything you get. Would we consider doing it (with a MM)? Maybe, if hell froze over and pigs were flying lumps of coal down there to get the fire restarted.

[VanHlebar 187]

graygo98 said:

If they are looking for this type of play they are probably just starting out.

 

I am not sure I agree with this part of the post. I know that we have a number of members that have been in the life style for years and they are softswing couples.

 

To the OP, if the rules don't fit what you are looking for then move on. There are plenty of couples out there that sure to fit what your are looking for.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Joe ~

 

You said this in a recent thread of yours:

 

"I developed the desire, a strong desire, to have a mfm with my wife around a year and a half ago."

 

After reading that thread I'm guessing this thread is a continuation of your quest. Maybe you can post again and clarify.

 

You don't appear to be considering couples in your future plans - since you've not mentioned wanting sex with other women or that your wife is open to that idea - so I think this thread is more directed to single males. Would you agree?

 

I think it would be very difficult to find a top-quality single male swinger who would be interested in meeting a couple for a 5-minute hand job.

[iapr 24]

In looking at your other posts I get the feeling you think your wife may capitulate to the point of giving some dude a hand job just to get you off her back or at some point she has let slip out that she may be willing to do that and now you are wondering if you should take the ball and run with it. To give an honest answer to your question it all depends on the context under which that handjob were to occur.

 

Lets swich things around a little bit to show the importance of context because that is what is going to end up making all the difference in this situation.

 

We'll use my wife for instance. If she and I and our kids were in the grocery store in the frozen food section and a guy came up and asked her if she would settle for "a hand" she would be upset and slap his face right there and by the time the police pulled me off of him the coroner may not have much to work with but the cause of death would be pretty apparent anyway.

 

Now lets say that we were to have a date with another couple and they were upfront that they were soft swing and we all agreed to adhere to everyone elses limits and comfort levels. Then lets say we all went out and had a fun night partying and dancing and flirting and socializing. At the end of the evening things started getting warm and cozy and there was some smooching and making out and things were getting pretty hot and heavy. Then once the clothes were off and flesh was meeting the flesh the male half states that his comfort zone is pretty much just using his hands and fingers but that he will do the best he can and make it as good for her as possible. At that point in time she may say "go for it!" and would probably come away completely happy and satisfied.

 

The point I am trying to make is a handjob is just an individual act, and in and of itself is relatively insignificant (by itself so is a fuck). It really depends on the circumstance and context for which it occurs. In the fun scenario described above I would be perfectly happy with a handjob if it were in the context of a fun couple and part of a globaly fun and sexy evening and the person giving it was motivated and into it and was giving it her all and was enjoying the experience herself.

 

Now on the other hand if I got some random email from a guy that said, "My wife has agreed to give you a handjob if you want, are you interested?" The only time and energy I would expend into that would be to hit the 'delete' key.

 

Are you able to see the difference?

[JoeCentralNY 15]

You make a point, Iapr. Yes, I'm able to discern between the two. But from a few of the responses, I wonder if they're really swingers or just "internet armchair swingers" (AKA pud-wackers)

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

JoeCentralNY said:

...But from a few of the responses, I wonder if they're really swingers or just "internet armchair swingers" (AKA pud-wackers)

Whose "responses" are you referring to?

[matt1s3 15]

what's the point of even going? I've never been excited about hand jobs. I've maybe had 2 in my life. a) I can do it better. b) I feel like I'm in high school (even then I got more than hand jobs)

 

Sure this is shallow and doesn't take other things into considerations but in terms of pure sexual pleasure which seems to be your question, it sure wouldn't be worth it for me.

[good times 991]

You make a point, Iapr. Yes, I'm able to discern between the two. But from a few of the responses, I wonder if they're really swingers or just "internet armchair swingers" (AKA pud-wackers)

I think they are just confused by your vague post, I had to go back and read your previous posts regarding your wife in order to put your question into context.

 

To answer your question, and I admit I am making the assumption that the woman you are referring to is your wife. I would have to say maybe. It would really depend on if your wife was really into it, or if she was just doing it to get you off of her back (unfortunately, very common in the lifestyle). As an experienced swinger, that is usually pretty easy to determine when we meet a new potential playmate. If she really seemed to be into it then I probably would, with newbies we always go only as far as they are comfortable. On the other hand, if she didn't seem like she was really into the idea of swinging to begin with, I would politely make my exit.

[sweet_tna 680]

You make a point, Iapr. Yes, I'm able to discern between the two. But from a few of the responses, I wonder if they're really swingers or just "internet armchair swingers" (AKA pud-wackers)

 

I feel no need to justify my response. If you're not getting the response you want, either post more information or accept that when asking for advice, you're not always gonna' like what you hear. Being insulting wont' get you anywhere either.

[CoupleReady2 15]

Male half here. I find handjobs to be pretty exciting. Perhaps some couples just getting into the lifestyle are not comfortable with anything more than that at the present time. I'd be open to just that, and I think the wife would enjoy seeing that also.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

JoeCentralNY said:

Re: Woud you Settle for "Only" a Handjob??

 

JoeCentralNY said:

Let's say you're someone who has done mfm threesomes or would be interested in trying one. A couple agrees to involve you for perhaps what would best fit into the category of "soft swing." The man's wife or significant other would be willing to give you a handjob but go no further. A cumshot on her chest would be negotiable.

 

Have you ever been in this situation? If not, would you consider doing it? Why or why not?

 

My answer is still "Naaaaaaaa". To all the above. To put it in English, "No means No". I don't want to so I don't have to.

 

JoeCentralNY said:

You make a point, Iapr. Yes, I'm able to discern between the two. But from a few of the responses, I wonder if they're really swingers or just "internet armchair swingers" (AKA pud-wackers)

 

Oh it's probably me again. Just because I know how to say no in sheep language.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Quite honestly when I read it as you put it in the post here, I would say "nope, wouldn't be interested". Because what I'm picturing in that situation is the poor guy just sitting there getting whacked off, not getting anything else. Guy or girl same thing. If I'm with a couple as a female and ALL I'm getting is a finger in my pussy then I'm not getting enough. There's a lot more too it (it's called foreplay). Ya gotta turn me on and just watching you two together making out isn't going to do it for me.

 

But like IAPR said, put it in a different context, we are out at a club and you say "hey we only do soft swap, hands only". If we are all having fun and things heat up, there's kissing involved, we are all having fun and you do what you can to get me off with just your hands, then it's probably all good. But I still can't get the picture out of my head that your first post put there of the poor guy just sitting (or lying there) and all he gets TOTAL is a handjob, no kissy, no touchy, just "here pull out your dick and I'll jerk you off". I just don't see most guys getting turned on my that.

[JoeCentralNY 15]

what I'm pictureing in that situation is the poor guy just sitting there getting whacked off, not getting anything else.

 

 

awww....how terrible

[nicerrtxcple 13]

If their boundaries aren't compatible with what you're interested in doing, I'd say pass. Plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

=)

 

yeah i think this hits the nail right on the head.