What do you tell others about where you are when swinging?

[MrsBliss 18]

I have a couple of very good girlfriends and they and my sister in law and even parents in law know very often where we are.

 

Very innocent like: "what are you going to do this weekend?" Normally I am quite detailed in this and tell them everything.

 

Thinking about swinging made me realise I have to make something up. Because if I tell them that we go out, they might want to join us. We always go out with a group of people. They would all think we're ill or so when going out without asking them along a couple of times in one month.

 

What do you tell people around you?

[hmr 25]

We don't have the group thing to contend with, but we do have parents and friends who sometimes ask in conversation. We also have 3 children who want to know where we are going.

 

Usually we tend to stretch the truth just a little. We say we are meeting, or met a couple, maybe some old friends we haven't seen for a long time, who are coming through town. Or we made plans with a new couple we just met, and wanted to get to know better. We could have met these people anywhere, another friend, work, church,etc. Sometimes we go out of town, and tell them we are going to visit some friends, when we are actually going to a club. Though sometimes we do visit and meet playfriends instead.

 

mrs hmr:)

[Spoomonkey 421]

I run into this problem at work... And I am a terrible liar...

 

I have this female coworker who always asks where we went and what we did. And I always say, "I don't remember." My lame-ass excuse is always along the lines of, "we went to this part of town and I don't remember the restaurant/bar/blah, blah, blah." It should be easier to come up with something, but I just don't...

 

Spoomonkey

[VegasLee 1,486]

I have found that when people ask where we went last night a great answer is:

 

"We spent Saturday night at the swing club like we do every Saturday night with friends, you should have been there, it was great!"

 

Now. for people not into swinging they laugh and think you are kidding and leave you alone.

 

The ones that are into swinging now know you are also and they might show up to party some time.

 

Either way, it works!

 

[good times 991]

We usually say we stayed home and played Scrabble. Nobody has ever asked any further details about the Scrabble.

[fun_pairTX 26]

All our relations except a son and wife who also swing, (NOT WITH US JERRY SPRINGER), live about a thousand miles away. One time my mother in law asked over the phone what we did Saturday and I told her we piled 8 people on our king size bed, poured on a quart of Mazola and went for it. She told me to stop being a wiseass, so I just let it drop. Oh well some people can't handle the truth.

[wrnakedru 38]

Now that we are empty nesters, this is not quite the issue it was at one time. However, we have always enjoyed live music and have gone to a wide variety of places to hear/see an old favorite or new interest.

 

I have always been one of those people that other people just start talking to, for some reason, so it was always rather easy to explain away new friends.

 

And of course, there is always the old stand by of "we were introduced by mutual friends and really seemed to hit it off."

 

I learned a long time ago to always have a weather appropriate casual change of clothes along [as well as the all important "ditty bag"].

 

Somehow that outfit that was just smashing for the club on Saturday night tends to look a bit odd to arrive home in midday on Sunday - to say nothing of the looks it gathers if you want/need to actually get out of the car anywhere along the way.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Mrs Bliss, the inviting them with you shouldn't be too much of a problem as long as you don't altogether stop your normal outings. You can continue to invite them with you on those outtings and not invite them on these others. Just tell them that you need a night out alone with just your hubby.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

Mrs Bliss, the inviting them with you shouldn't be too much of a problem as long as you don't altogether stop your normal outings. You can continue to invite them with you on those outtings and not invite them on these others. Just tell them that you need a night out alone with just your hubby.

Dito

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

We just keep it simple and tell people we are going to meet some friends for dinner & drinks.

[midnightpassion 15]

it really depends on who asks. some we tell the truth and others we just tell we went fishing lol

[sexypairca 41]

If it is an evening out, we're going on a date. Not my problem if family assumes that its with each other.

 

If its a mini trip that involves going out of town we tell everyone that we're going on a weekend get away, just need some time away from the kids. Sitters know how far we are in the event of an emergeny and have our cell # so we no longer have to give our exact destination.

 

We've had some stange looks over the past couple of years when we'd say "Oh yeah, we're going away this weekend" and then asked where only to tell of a place that really isn't an attraction. Not to mention a few remarks wondering why we have so many new friends and "where are you meeting these new friends?".? Oh well, what they don't know won't hurt 'em.

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

With us when someone, be it friend or family asks, we just tell them we were out with friends, or if we know we are going to be entertaining friends to swing with, we often tell them that we have friends coming to visit. Usually our friends and family when they know we are going to have company, they usually are pretty respectful and don't call so we can give our guests our undivided attention. There are times when Truck's family does get nosey and we just tell them that we have friends from out of town visiting. Which sometimes isn't always a lie. We just don't go into details about what happened over the weekend. lol

 

[meowkittyhascla 17]

We just say we are going out to meet friends and have a little dinner and drinks. That keeps the kids happy and they know that we have cell phone with us at all times and they can call. We don't hide the fact that we like to spice up our lives with new playmates..but we don't stand on top of the roof top and announce it either. We have never had to face the in-laws or other family members either so I wouldn't know what to say to them. But, knowing me...I would come up with some wise ass crack (no bun intended) and they would just think I was pulling their legs....

[BradAndJanet 70]

Originally posted by sexypairca

... We've had some stange looks over the past couple of years when we'd say "Oh yeah, we're going away this weekend" and then asked where only to tell of a place that really isn't an attraction. Not to mention a few remarks wondering why we have so many new friends and "where are you meeting these new friends?".? Oh well, what they don't know won't hurt 'em.

We get those questions a lot too! Windsor was pretty easy to explain (casino), but Tulsa? I just told 'em, "Hey, I've always been a fan of Will Rodgers, and that's where the museum is!"

 

When they ask where we've been meeting all these friends we say, truthfully, "On the Internet...." We just don't ever say exactly where on the Internet!

 

-B

[da2ofusgb 24]

This is a good question. Now some of you may think this is kinda weird but most of our family allready knows of our lifestyle!!!

 

As you all know, most everybody has a pc now a days and can find just about anything they want on here. Well one day my sister was on an adult yahoo site for some reason or another, she still wont tell us why......... , and came upon our yahoo profile with some pics we had on there..........Well needless to say, soon the whole family knew of our endevers and what we were doing on our weekends off.........did they shun us and tell us off........NOPE, they all accepted us for what we do and still love us dearly to this day.........well all of them cept my sister who we only talk to occasionally anyway so that is no big deal......

 

So now we just tell them we are going out or away with friends and nobody asks the 5 w's anymore........Who, What, Where, When and Why.........

 

Also some of our family members have met some of the couples that we hang with all the time, and they think they are great people which they are.

 

In fact one couple is even hiring our son-in-law which is a masonary contractor to come and rebuild there fireplace and chimney and do the outside brick work on the home they are remodeling.

 

peace...

Ed

[Denver2some 15]

We usually say we stayed home and played Scrabble. Nobody has ever asked any further details about the Scrabble.

 

 

We hope you don't mind, but we are stealing this one!

[Alura 2,774]

We always tell the truth. For instance:

 

We're driving up to Indianapolis on Thursday. On Friday we have business conferences part of the day. On Saturday Mrs. Alura is going shopping while Mr. Alura goes to the race track museum with a friend. We're driving back on Sunday.

 

Mr. Alura

[good times 991]

 

We hope you don't mind, but we are stealing this one!

 

Have at it, we're always here to help.

[Olympia221 15]

We usually say we stayed home and played Scrabble. Nobody has ever asked any further details about the Scrabble.

 

 

We also LOVE the scrabble excuse!

[Eroica 15]

We do not have children so we can give very vague answers. However, we had a problem once when we went to a lifestyle resort in a foreign country. Everyone wanted a phone number where they could reach us in an emergency. Luckily, for us, the resort owners were cool about incoming phone calls.......and no one called us!

[DanBridget 15]

Although we are new to the lifestyle, both of us have friends in many parts of the country from when we attended college. I am still in school but since my degree is made of mostly out of state students going away for the weekend is normal. We just say we went to see a buddy of me. Whihc works for us, since my wife's brother is also are neighbor.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Lie: simply and mundanely.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I thought this was an interesting question.... what do you tell the non-swingers in your life about where you are / what you are doing when you are out with swinging friends?

 

I had this happen this weekend, a friend from work (vanilla) asked what we had been up to on Friday night... and I was just like "we went to dinner with friends". Then when asked what plans we had for Saturday night I just said "we are going to a party". Luckily, I don't have the issue of having people who think they should get invited along to everything we do. I think if that were my situation I'd be tempted to just tell them that "we are trying to spend more time alone together as a couple".

[havefuninsun 122]

We've just said we're going out with friends.

 

Of course, the kids look at us and say, "you have friends?"

 

[Thrax 384]

Church.

 

 

Nah, that's the last "excuse" I would use.

 

I have five basic friends/family groups:

1. Family (none of whom live within less than 75 miles of me),

2. Hometown friends (some live five miles away, but most live hundreds of miles away, at least),

3. Local friends from my swimming/running/triathlon days,

4. Local friends from Job A, and

5. Local friends from Job B.

 

There's a little intersection between some of the groups, but it's minimal. So it's easy to tell -- and remember the story -- groups 1, 2, 3, and 5, if I have to, that I am visiting friends from Job A that moved to Maryland, for instance. And of course, the Maryland friends are not vanilla Job A friends, but are Maryland swingers. The Job A folks would get a different story.

 

If I'm going to a Pittsburgh-area club, or a local house party, it just becomes a party hosted by someone that the inquisitor would not be likely to know. If someone discovers that I didn't get home until the morning after the party, then the excuse is that I had to stay overnight because I drank a little too much (an excuse for friends and certain family members), or I "got lucky" -- in a vanilla context, of course -- (for some friends and former colleagues), or my car battery died (for my parents), etc. A broad excuse is available for each audience, and since the various sections of the audience aren't likely to talk to each other -- about my activities, anyway -- then I don't think I'm in much danger of being discovered.

 

All of this might seem complicated, but since I only need one or two excuse-stories per club visit, house party, etc., it's not at all difficult to keep track of.

 

Do I like lying to people? No, I don't. But at this time my swinging friends -- and activities -- are totally separate from my family and vanilla friends. I figure it's my personal business and they don't really need to know. I'd like to keep it that way.

 

By the time I'm 80 or so I might just start being honest with people, just for the fun of it at that point!

 

Thrax

[LFM2 1,482]

We tell our one child left at home that we're going out to dinner with friends. We tell our vanilla friends that we're going out of town for the weekend for a little one-on-one time just for us. So far, so good!

[Pepper & Drew 384]

We say what we did. We went out dancing. We went to our friends' house. We had people over to our house. We went to a party. We try to tell as much of the truth as possible. Less to remember that way.

 

Pepper

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We tell everyone it is our "Date Night". It's never been questioned.

[sweet_tna 680]

We tell the truth, for the most part. We're going out with friends, to a club, to a party . . . we just don't elaborate.

 

=)

[Chris&Amelia 253]

I have to agree with Sweet. When asked, we tend to tell the truth, but the basic truth. It's super-rare when anybody presses us for details, and when they do, Amelia usually answers along the lines of "Oh, ask Chris. He was driving, I wasn't really paying attention where we were."

 

So it's general "dinner with friends", or "a party", or "we're going dancing". On the off chance that somebody asks for details, I've already got the name of some relatively obscure but very real club that is inconveniently far away (but not too far away) to say.

[des1re06 200]

Vanilla friends and family - camping

 

Most don't know that the camper is at a swing resort full-time.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We tell them we are going "tricking".

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We tell them we are going "tricking".

 

Well now, Thats a new one

 

What kind of a responce usually follows ?

[J&D 15]

For those who have children at home did you ship them off to grandma's? Did you have a person spend the night with them? What did you tell the person who spent the night and how they could contact you if they need to?

[sweet_tna 680]

For those who have children at home did you ship them off to grandma's? Did you have a person spend the night with them? What did you tell the person who spent the night and how they could contact you if they need to?

 

We're very fortunate that Mr. Sweet's mom will take our kidlets for sleepovers (at her house). We also have a backup sitter that watches them in her home. We just give them our cell phone numbers.

 

=)

[Tia Vampire 167]

Well our 2 older children know that we swing. So when we tell them that we are going "tricking", they know that we may or may not be home til the morning. They just laugh and say that we are crazy or that we are freaks. My mom usually keep the two lil ones over night and take them to church with her Sunday morning.

[belgiumCouple 15]

hmm what should we say to my parents : We're going to Florida for 2 weeks and the kids and my parents are coming with us. We want to go to a swing club on a saturday night but don't know what excuse to use... (we are not people who go to night clubs, disco's...) We thought about saying that we would go to a dinner show but what if they ask how it was and I think most dinner shows won't last until 3-4 am

[two4youinswva 3,068]

hmm what should we say to my parents : We're going to Florida for 2 weeks and the kids and my parents are coming with us. We want to go to a swing club on a saturday night but don't know what excuse to use... (we are not people who go to night clubs, disco's...) We thought about saying that we would go to a dinner show but what if they ask how it was and I think most dinner shows won't last until 3-4 am

 

That's hard for us to say without knowing the dynamics of your family. In our situation, all we would have to say is "We're going out, and we'll be back late".

There wouldn't be any discussion beyond that. It sounds like you don't have that option, or rather, have never exercised that option.

 

Are you going to the Disney World by chance? If so, I guess you could say you're going to Pleasure Island. It's kind of an adults place to go within the Disney World complex, and I think it's open until 2 am.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

We tell them the truth...

 

but not the whole truth.

 

We only have our family to "tell" because we don't have friends. LOL

 

We tell them we went to a bar with friends, went dancing, went to dinner, went to a birthday party. All true.

 

When we've travelled to SB Meet Ups we said we wanted to get away for a weekend together because it's time we spent money on such "frivolous" things and "have some fun." We figure my parents would understand, since they started traveling the country in an RV when they were our age.

 

LM

[todesireu 16]

Our usual "excuse" is dinner and a movie, happened to run into some old friends.

[lustylearning 705]

Same as many others ~ going out with friends, going out to a party, going out dancing. We always carry the cell phone and are seldom farther than 30 minutes away. The oddest question I ever had to answer was, "where'd all these friends come from?" But that is another thread...

[fun4Ds 1,098]

hmm what should we say to my parents : We're going to Florida for 2 weeks and the kids and my parents are coming with us. We want to go to a swing club on a saturday night but don't know what excuse to use... (we are not people who go to night clubs, disco's...) We thought about saying that we would go to a dinner show but what if they ask how it was and I think most dinner shows won't last until 3-4 am

 

BelgiumCouple, We would think to just tell your parents that you guys want some alone time, for one night. Nothing wrong with that. As parents with vanilla married children we understand that, as I'm sure your parents will also. Our vanilla parents would as well.

 

Like LM says, you don't have to tell the whole truth in this situation. Just say you want to have some romance time together for a while. There are things for just couples, wanting some romance these days. Like a fantasy themed hotels or something.

 

Just a suggestion

[MRnMSbhaven 45]

For those who have children at home did you ship them off to grandma's? Did you have a person spend the night with them? What did you tell the person who spent the night and how they could contact you if they need to?

 

Our children are very close to college age so we just tell them "Don't burn down the F'ing house, we'll be back tomorrow"!

 

Our eldest has a friend who swears we're swingers and has said as much to the spawn. So, being the opportunists we are... we tell them "We're going to a swinger party, now leave us alone". She thinks we're kidding.

 

Other than that, family just gets the stock answer of "we're going out with friends"

 

Ms B

[Guest winnme]

We always say we are out of town or going clubing and some time we just get missing.but we almost all the time go to a swinger club at Myrtle Beach South Carolina it is hott for swinger its call Cfriends Couple clud

[Cpl2share 147]

We always tell at least part of the truth. The biggest question that we get is: How/where did you meet them? I am not a big social animal, so it really surprises our families when we do go out. We just explain that it was a customer of mine that I seemed to hit it off with, and decided to go out for drinks. Works for us.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We always say we are out of town or going clubing and some time we just get missing.but we almost all the time go to a swinger club at Myrtle Beach South Carolina it is hott for swinger its call Cfriends Couple clud

 

 

Hi There Winnme!! Welcome to the board! We are hoping to get up to SC sometime this year and check out some of the clubs up that way.

[graygo98 148]

We are really tight with J's family (parents and sister). Almost daily calls to just chat about stuff. (No, we aren't real sucks, they are just funny smart people that we enjoy.)

 

When asked "what are you doing on Saturday/did you do on Saturday" we just used to say we went dancing. Used to name a club downtown. The problem now is her sister thinks it would be great to come dancing with us. (One of our vanilla couple friends wants to do the same.) We are just not going any where near there! So we're now a lot vaguer... "Oh, just out with some friends." Which leads to ....

 

"So, who are these friends?" Fortunately I have worked in a few places and a long time ago went to school in a few more. Amazing how those old acquaintances keep popping up.

 

I am all for just telling them plain out. After all, we are just about hitting that half-century mark so we shouldn't still have to lie to our parents about our friends or "hobbies". J is just not willing to take that step at the moment. I am not really sure sometimes if we are really fooling anyone, especially her sister though, from some comments she had dropped.

[rpu3 630]

Luckily, I guess, we don't have children nor do we have family nearby, considering we do go to clubs occasionally and both of us have friends we see occasionally. No excuses have to be made.

 

However, we don't go to the club when my nephew is in my custody for breaks and the summer. We usually work it out by alternating newphew prison guard duties in order to seeing our respective friends if opportunities arise.

 

My sister typically e-mails or calls on Thursday (during Survivor, grrrr...) and asks what we are doing for the weekend. She has been told that we are "alternative"", so I can head all questions off with a "you don't really want to know what either one of us are doing this weekend". Actually, I like doing that.

 

Everyone else gets the standard truth: "I'm doing laundry and XYZ home improvement project, and if we are lucky, we will go out for a while". Nobody cares what you are doing once you bore them with laundry, I've found.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

For most, we just use the basic "going out for the evening" or "wanted to get away for the weekend." The Mrs. does have two people who aren't content to leave it at that with no further comment - her mother, and her best friend.

 

When her mother calls, it's like:

 

"Oh, you're not home?" Nope.

 

"Where are you at" Went away for the weekend.

 

"Oh. Where to?" City name, why do you ask?

 

"Oh, just in case I needed to get in touch with you" Just call my cell just like do every other time you call.

 

"Why are you going there?" Because we always have fun.

 

"Oh. Doing what?" Going out.

 

"Going out??" Going out.

 

"Out where?" You know, just around

 

"But what are you going to do?" Go out :EG:

 

By this time why are both trying to contain our laughter. It's become almost a tradition really. Every time we make a weekend club trip, it happens, so wouldn't seem the same without it. It reminds us of way back when and she would go through the same thrust and parry on her way out the door on a Saturday night. The cell call is always followed up by the call to the house to see if the munchkin or the babysitter has any more info they can give up on what we are really doing.

 

 

With the best friend, it's like -

 

"y'all sure do like to go up there. Y'all are up to something I think::P:" Shoulder shrug. Just goin' out