Name That Swinger!

[Bama0468 93]

the mosquitos- This couple can't seem to keep FINGERS off you, every chance they get they poke at you WITH A FINGER .....poke poke poke poke ... Grrr ... actually had a couple everyone had nick named the "Pokey Couple" and it mattered not where they poked ya, arms, belly, chest , legs... what ever was in reach

[lebcpl2swing 15]

Well here in vegas when we went to the RR for the first time. and came up with a great name for some of the Singles FREAKAZOIDS- the singles with towels who smell couples having sex in an open area and when you look up you get freaked out by all the towels looking like tents.

 

We call these guys Vultures - always circling with their wings flapping!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

The Shooting Stars:

 

Month One: Brand new to the lifestyle and get first experience.

Month Two: They're the ones hanging from the ceiling fan in the orgy room.

Month Three: They are now swinging "experts", professing more knowledge than the couples that started in the 70's. "Gangbang seminar starts at 8 pm."

 

.........aaaand, finally,

Month Twelve: They file for divorce.

 

We've seen it twice.

So far.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

two4youinswva said:

The Shooting Stars:

 

Month One: Brand new to the lifestyle and get first experience.

Month Two: They're the ones hanging from the ceiling fan in the orgy room.

Month Three: They are now swinging "experts", professing more knowledge than the couples that started in the 70's. "Gangbang seminar starts at 8 pm."

 

.........aaaand, finally,

Month Twelve: They file for divorce.

 

We've seen it twice.

So far.

 

I've seen this scenario around here a few times..... I would call them...

 

Falling Stars:

 

Same scenario, except it's Week 1: First experience

Week 2: First Orgy

Week 3: They are taking a break because they moved too fast.

Week 4: they are back at it again and are now experts.

 

Repeat steps 2-4 as necessary. Perhaps Roller Coasters would be a better name.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

The Ticketmaster: He's the guy that shows up at the couples only club with a different girl every month.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

two4youinswva said:

The Ticketmaster: He's the guy that shows up at the couples only club with a different girl every month.

We saw this guy one weekend, with a different girl each night.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Ok, I'm going to need help naming this type of swinger, and I hope I can relate what I'm talking about adequately.

 

You click the "Who's On" link in SLS. One couple has a tag-line that says "Where's all the real people?"

 

You notice the 4 profiles above and below them are all certified.

 

Irony Couple?

Clueless Couple?

"You're Doing It Wrong" Couple?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

One couple has a tag-line that says "Where's all the real people?"

I, of course, see the irony. They meant to say, "Where are all the real people."

[Pensacolapair 394]

Ok, I'm going to need help naming this type of swinger, and I hope I can relate what I'm talking about adequately.

 

You click the "Who's On" link in SLS. One couple has a tag-line that says "Where's all the real people?"

 

You notice the 4 profiles above and below them are all certified.

 

Irony Couple?

Clueless Couple?

"You're Doing It Wrong" Couple?

 

Ever notice that quite often the one inquiring as to the whereabouts of the 'real people' isn't certified?

 

We call them The Annointers of Real - as a rule, for them anyone who:

 

a.) Doesn't accept "Hi..nice profile (or, if in person, shoes) - wanna f**k?" as enough of a prelude to play isn't 'real'.

b.) Tells them 'No Thanks' isn't 'real'.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Pensacolapair said:

Ever notice that quite often the one inquiring as to the whereabouts of the 'real people' isn't certified?

 

We call them The Annointers of Real - as a rule, for them anyone who:

 

a.) Doesn't accept "Hi..nice profile (or, if in person, shoes) - wanna f**k?" as enough of a prelude to play isn't 'real'.

b.) Tells them 'No Thanks' isn't 'real'.

 

Good Call. We've noticed that as well.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

two4youinswva said:

The Shooting Stars:

 

Month One: Brand new to the lifestyle and get first experience.

Month Two: They're the ones hanging from the ceiling fan in the orgy room.

Month Three: They are now swinging "experts", professing more knowledge than the couples that started in the 70's. "Gangbang seminar starts at 8 pm."

 

.........aaaand, finally,

Month Twelve: They file for divorce.

 

We've seen it twice.

So far.

 

Good one. We've seen this once, but it only took 8 months.

 

OK, this one's not PC, but the Beauty and the Beast couple. Couples who are so mis-matched in their looks and/or personalities that you're excited when you meet one member of the couple, but oh so disappointed or downright surprised when you meet the partner, because you know you are never going to hook up unless you're at a house party or if they play separately. Also known as the "What-Does-S/He-See-In-Them?" Or the She's-So-Nice-And-He's-Such-An-Asshole Couple.

 

Pepper

[WesternSwing 504]

Good one. We've seen this once, but it only took 8 months.

 

OK, this one's not PC, but the Beauty and the Beast couple. Couples who are so mis-matched in their looks and/or personalities that you're excited when you meet one member of the couple, but oh so disappointed or downright surprised when you meet the partner, because you know you are never going to hook up unless you're at a house party or if they play separately. Also known as the "What-Does-S/He-See-In-Them?" Or the She's-So-Nice-And-He's-Such-An-Asshole Couple.

 

Pepper

 

I think this couple runs wild in every environment. You can't even go to the store with out seeing them.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The "Try too Hard"s - they are really nice people once you get to know them, but the first time you meet them you may run the other way because they are trying so hard to impress you that they come off as arrogant.

[JustMrJ 178]

Okay, I think I'm going to have to make a list and keep it with us before we go to any clubs...

 

All of this is good to know. Thanks for everyone posting these 'warnings'.

 

and please... if my wife or I appear to fit ANY of these descriptions after we meet anyone in person, PLEASE TELL US!!! I'll promptly begin slapping myself in the face.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Okay, I think I'm going to have to make a list and keep it with us before we go to any clubs...

 

All of this is good to know. Thanks for everyone posting these 'warnings'.

 

and please... if my wife or I appear to fit ANY of these descriptions after we meet anyone in person, PLEASE TELL US!!! I'll promptly begin slapping myself in the face.

 

I guess that the sad part is that most of us wouldn't have a clue what label we should have on ourselves.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

JustAskJulie said:

I guess that the sad part is that most of us wouldn't have a clue what label we should have on ourselves.

 

All of us here fall under the category of "The Perfect Couple/Single to Swing With".

 

Am I right gang?

 

Gang?

 

Helloooooooooo?..........

[Chris&Amelia 253]

(tumbleweed goes bouncing by)

 

(crickets chirp)

[sweet_tna 680]

two4youinswva said:

All of us here fall under the category of "The Perfect Couple/Single to Swing With".

 

Am I right gang?

 

Gang?

 

Helloooooooooo?..........

 

But of course!

[Bama0468 93]

sounds good to me!!

[lustylearning 705]

At the risk of sounding jaded, how about the Krueger couple - they're a dream until you're well into it, then they turn out to be a Nightmare on Elm Street.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

At the risk of sounding jaded, how about the Krueger couple - they're a dream until you're well into it, then they turn out to be a Nightmare on Elm Street.

 

"How sweet! Fresh meat!"

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

socolais said:

The Klingon Kouple - they invade your personal space a little too quickly when your shields are down and they engage the tractor beam. Evasive manuvers are less than completely effective, where's that damn cloking device....

 

We have a couple of these we deal with at our local social. They see us and head straight for us and we run the other way.... they have led us to be...

 

The BabySitters: The couple left taking care of the couples who can't seem to work a social on their own two (make that 4) feet, thus clinging to what they perceive as a "similar" couple and making them babysit them the whole night.

[twoforone100 45]

The Beauty and the Beast We feel that this is actually the hot chick with the scary older guy....

[twoforone100 45]

The couple of the week.... That couple that is either a new couple or not really a couple at all...

[slevin 1,374]

The Sleepers: They seem nice, normal and you're thinking this is going to turn out really well. Then you find out that they're, uh, crazy. They tell you about her stint as a prostitute.

 

Not that we'd swing with them, but it'd be awesome to be chatting with a couple and get a story about how she used to be a prostitute lol. Not only would it make a fun story to tell on a swingers message board, it'd be an interesting conversation I bet!

[slevin 1,374]

Pepper & Drew said:

OK, this one's not PC, but the Beauty and the Beast couple. Couples who are so mismatched in their looks and/or personalities that you're excited when you meet one member of the couple, but oh so disappointed or downright surprised when you meet the partner, because you know you are never going to hook up unless you're at a house party or if they play separately. Also known as the "What-Does-S/He-See-In-Them?" Or the She's-So-Nice-And-He's-Such-An-Asshole Couple.

Not that I'm hideous or anything, but we met a couple where the guy wasn't someone Katrina was really attracted to but the girl was someone we were both into. After playing a few times it ended up coming out that the other girl wasn't attracted to me at all either. Kind of amusing once it all came out

 

Ours is: The Director. He is an older guy who shows up with a (or multiple) prostitute. He hangs back and tells them what to do and with who while he watches. It turns very creepy when he shifts to watching you instead of them! There are a couple of older gentlemen we've seen at the local club doing this.

[twoforone100 45]

The vaulters..... those couples who know everyone but never shares friends, or information. aka " the one way couple"

 

The planners... that couples who you can never hook up with as they are booked for months in advance.

 

The worriers... that couple who either has plans and wonders what they are missing or does not have plans and then stresses about not having plans.

[carrysmith 57]

good times said:

The tigress, I like that one, every club seems to have at least one of those.

 

Ours is not very original, it is kind of like Julies "towel shark", but we call him the "creepy single dude". The one at the club last night, followed us around, always positioning himself strategically (always a little to close for comfort) to stare at Mrs. GT's boobs. Don't get me wrong, I like to admire mrs. GT's boobs as much as anybody, but even though I am married to her, I can do it less conspicuously than these guys do. These are the same guys that when confronted for going to far, insist that they just accidentally grabbed her boob or her ass without permission.

 

We have many of those in our club, we call them towel sharkies/jerkers/towel people & yucks.

[rathor 15]

SCcpl40 said:

The silent partner- the female of a controlling husband in the lifestyle. He's lays down the rules and picks the partners, she goes along with it because it does offer her a chance to have fulfilling sex once in a while. She doesn't open up unless he's in another room. Then she's an animal.

I never thought that happening in Swinging, not in the documentary I saw about swinging which sparked my interested, Swinger's Party Willing Wives. I thought Swingers are open to each other in sex no matter whether they are together on one bed or in different places.

[MtnSwing 23]

The Mentors. This was our initiation. Literally 5 minutes after we put up our first profile we got a message from an "experienced" couple eager to offer us advice. Then they showed up at our first club visit to tutor us in person. They tried to instill a list of a million rules before you should ever play. In reality they never seem to play. The best thing we did was to forget their rules and go with what felt good to us.

 

Bi-selfish. This is the woman who's happy to have another woman go down on her but would never return the favor.

 

The shape shifter. This is the person (usually a woman but not always) that never looks the same twice. You meet them once and next time her boobs are done. Next her lips. Tummy tuck next. It goes on and on.

 

The jetsetters. They're never available because they have bimonthly trips to Hedo, lifestyle cruises and then they complain that they have no time to use their hot tub.

 

The Hosers. These are the couples that think squirting is a party trick and every one should be well sprayed by the wife/gf. Personally I love women that squirt but not in this way. I had an experience once where I was playing with a lovely lady and some woman came in and literally stood on the bed behind us squirting on us - she thought it was so kewl.

[CXXC 435]

The Imposters: This is a couple with whom you meet and play, having an AMAZING time at a club or party and make plans to get together at another time and place. When the time arrives, this couple is completely different. the evening is strange and the sex is mechanical! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OTHER COUPLE???

[Expulsion 40]

Haha I love this thread, it's so hilarious.

 

I'm way too new to the scene to contribute, but I wanted you all to know I've been laughing my bits off at this.

[little firefly 64]

The backseat driver- a person (most often male) who hangs out in the play area giving instruction to other couples while they play "smack that ass harder" "make her gag on it" "get on your knees and let him hit it from the back".....It's so annoying and really disrupts the mood

[fun4Ds 1,098]

The club bangers

 

We don't swing, but can we beat you to death with club (our club) support. Have we told you our complaints about the other clubs ? Never been there but we know all the dirt on them. If you block our mail/invites and personal complaints that reoccur at least twice a week on the swinger sites, we'll ban you from the club group on yahoo.

 

Yea, ya dumb ass ! We know about every party every weekend. Why do ya think we joined the group on yahoo. If your reading this now, my next step is to contact the websites and the real CLUB OWNERS ! Don't ever try to bully ME, as a group moderator !!!!!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

LeakyWicks: The people who post embarrasing secrets about celebrity lifestylers at Websites.

[GPHTallCouple 69]

Keep'emSeparated: A married couple that plays like two singles. They will only do separate rooms with another couple. If you happen to accidentally get both halves of the couple in the play area, one half will need to leave the play area. When out at the club they rarely talk to each other, and when they do, they are usually fighting about something.

 

AfraidofCooties: You've played with them before and establish a good relationship but if you play with a couple or person they don't like, they drop you like a rock like you're now contaminated with cooties.

 

JackSpratandWife or JillSpratandHusband: Similar to the mismatched couples but just the weight mismatch version. You can't help but hear the nursery rhyme in your head when you see them together (wife or hubby is 3 to 4 times the size of spouse).

[revicamc 15]

Newbie Here - What portion of the swinging community fits one of these dysfunctional stereotypes, and what portion not?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

revicamc said:

Newbie Here - What portion of the swinging community fits one of these dysfunctional stereotypes,and what portion not?

 

An excellent question!

 

Without context, a newbie could read this thread and think that there are a lot of these types out there. But really, all of them taken together are still only a small percentage of the active swingers out there.

 

Most of the folks that swing are good people, and really don't hit these categories. Even within those categories explored in this thread, the majority of them are harmless. As long as you can avoid the drama bombs, which really are few and far between, you won't have an issue.

 

Keep in mind, all in all, this thread is mainly tongue in cheek. We have probably come into contact with every type of stereotype listed here, but hardly ever more than once, and that's over a 6+ year period.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

carl01tx's thread was rolling around in my mind yesterday evening. I awoke at 4 AM with this alternative definition in my mind.

 

LeakyWicks: Guys who cum without warning.

[sexology300 15]

The one-upper

 

This pair has already slept with everybody who shows up at the club that you think is a possible match. But don't worry, they can and will tell you what is wrong with them.

[bigdandlola12 16]

The everyone look at us, King and Queen of Swing.

 

We have seen a few couples that are only interested in everyone knowing who they are. They apply to all groups and parties with all the gossip about who is who, look at us we will be there. And never, not once, played in any variety of mix .

 

This also adds The Swinger Snob

 

The swingers who when you meet online and chat and when you realize its not gonna be a match, see you at a club with another couple you came with and are rude and hardly acknowledge you exist. Even though her spouse was into you..lol..

 

At least people if your not a match....you can be nice to everyone!!

[bigdandlola12 16]

sexology300 said:

The one-upper

 

This pair has already slept with everybody who shows up at the club that you think is a possible match. But don't worry, they can and will tell you what is wrong with them.

 

OMG I sooo know a couple like that!!!

[bigdandlola12 16]

The Stage 5 clinger Couple....

 

The couple that sign up for every party that you are going to so they can poss have the chance of hooking up....even when you have repeatedly told them your not interested!!! lol...

[bigdandlola12 16]

The Sleepers: They seem nice, normal and you're thinking this is going to turn out really well. Then you find out that they're, uh, crazy. They tell you about her stint as a prostitute. Or, that they were on the verge of divorce until they starting swinging. Or tell a cute little story about the time they broke up and she slept with the guy's new girlfriend. I swear, those were all true stories.

 

Can't Take a Hint Couple: You've told them that you think you're not compatible. But they still think that because you say hello, maybe there's a shot.

 

Wow how bad is this ...we've only been in this for 6mths and have met or seen just about everyone of them...sigh..roflol...omg this is an awesome thread!!

[Ibrew 29]

We have our profile on two of the swinger sites, and as we have gotten friend/pic requests I have come up with phrases and definitions. One that comes up is "porn hunter" being defined as an individual or couple that want to see private pics and live at least 200 miles away with no prospect of meeting them. The question is "what unique phrases do you use to describe your experiences online or otherwise?"

[km34 672]

I don't think we use any unique ones... Pic collectors (what you call porn hunters) are about the only people we use a term for.

[lovinher 505]

Let's not forget the Judge's. Every club has them.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The play-by-play announcer. In group play rooms he feels need to ensure that everyone is verbally aware of what they are doing, what is being dine to them and what the guy across the room is doing.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Let's not forget the Judge's. Every club has them.

 

9.6 for the dismount.

[Sensuous 15]

Or they think they are K&Q but he has a reputation for not getting it up!