Young swingers unwelcome?

[youngswingers 15]

Our experiences in the swinging community, along with those of our friends, led us to the realization that younger swinger need to fend largely for ourselves. Is this common to young swingers everywhere? We created a group for young swingers in the Austin, TX area to make things easier for us. Has anyone else done likewise?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Maybe you could elaborate more on your experiences and on what you mean by "fend for yourselves"?

[youngswingers 15]

There are a couple of different ways that younger swingers are "discriminated" against. First, is not being allowed to join on-premises clubs (which is an experience that several couples have shared). Secondly is a general gearing of clubs towards a specific age group. Now this one is a little more subtle in that traditional wisdom holds that middle age swingers are the majority but the with the overwhelming response we have gotten from young swingers in our area it is a little questionable. Whether it is merely a lack of marketing to the younger crowd or a direct desire to keep the crowd a certain age it still has the same effect: few-to- none young swingers. We understand that some people are uncomfortable swinging with people young enough to be children, there are many of us who share that sentiment, to them we say we don't want to force people to swing with us we just want to be able to share your institutions. Safe places for people to who share this lifestyle are few and far between, we don't want to be excluded from any of them.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

How young are we talking here? Under 21?

[youngswingers 15]

Ages 21-30 is the general spread but ages 21-27 have it the worst.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Could just be your area. I haven't seen anything like this up here.

[Guest <eatcake>]

I've noticed that it is mostly people in their 30-40's (do you have to be married to swing?). We can pick up people at random places, but it's a lot easier in a environment of like minded people.... So, is there young people at these parties? If not, I'll try and put one on.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

It really depends on the parties. There are parties that cater to younger crowds.

 

In general tho most people are in their 30's or older before they take up swinging. Swinging requires a very strong comitted relationship and it's rare that a very young couple would have developed this.

 

Do you have to be married? No, but you should be comitted to your relationship.

 

If you are a single, then you need to have a strong understanding what a comitted relationship is and why they exist. It's about a lot more than just sex.

[frisson 16]

I've noticed that it is mostly people in thier 30-40's (do you have to be married to swing?). We can pick up people at random places, but it's a lot easier in a environment of like minded people.... So, is there young people at these parties? If not, I'll try and put one on.

 

(I don't know if this is against the rules). We have a page with pics and a guestbook to sign.

We did check out your site, and noticed the following line:

 

"maybe if your a local guy that has a hot girl to trade, post on the message board"

 

This sounds like something that might have been written by a "wife-swapper" back in 1958.

 

If your idea of swinging is trading females, then you will not do very well among swingers, whatever their age. Women basically have both the first and last word in swinging. They have their own fun in their own way, with partners whom they choose, and you will be laughed out of the building if you approach them as a commodity to be traded.

[ROUNTREE111 15]

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I ARE BOTH 22 AND WE ARE NERVOUS BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE THAT ARE AT THE SWINING PARTIES ARE OLDER. WE ARE SCARED THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SHY AWAY FROM US BECAUSE OF OUR AGE WHEN WE HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER. IS THAT SOMETHING THAT WE SHOULD WORRY ABOUT?

[Close Encounters 73]

You have nothing to fear. There may be a few couples older than you who will shy away because of your age but the vast majority of couples will enjoy your company.

We know many imature couples in the 40+ range and just as many mature couples in their 20's.

We personaly enjoy mature couples regardless of their years on this earth.

[centralbamababy 15]

Hi! Well. I'm the younger in our relationship. I'm 21 and hubby is 32. We have found that some folks will shy away. The men are for it and the ladies aren't. I guess they are afraid. But, for the most part people are pretty accepting. I guess it just depends on how secure they are with each other as well as themselves. :p

 

Did that sound right?

[Guest <latincouple42@yahoo.com>]

He is 35 but looks 25, she is 25 and doesnt look a day older. Our problem is he loves everything about the lifestyle including watching her fuck and suck other women,men or couples. She loves sex and is willing to please him but feels intimidated going to parties where the average age is a good 10 to 15 years older than her. We live in Mass and have attended only 3 or 4 parties in the last 3 years because he is tying to patient and not sour her on the lifestyle. He keeps hoping to go a party and meet up with several similar aged couples but it just hasnt happened.

Does anybody have any sugestions, he doesnt know how many chances she will give him before giving up on the lifestyle.

[L&K 15]

Avoid the young! There is a multitude of reasons that older swingers 40 + may shy away from younger ( 22) year old swingers.

 

#1 reason we avoid some one that young, their relationship with each other as a couple has not been there long enough, we prefer people to be together 10 years as a couple.

 

#2 This is just personal feelings, we don't have any interest in some one the age of our kids, for us it is just not a turn-on.

 

If you two like to swing it is your business just like it is ours, just trying to address the question you asked with honest answers from our point of view.

[Quin 17]

She is doing it for all the WRONG reasons. She should want to do it for herself, because she wants to do it and as a couple because THEY both want to do it, not to make him happy. There is only big trouble brewing on the horizon with this situation. There's apparently not only talking problems, there are hearing problems as well.

 

Have you not read any posts here? My suggestion is that BOTH you and him sit down and take the hours over how many ever days it takes to read and reread the posts here...there's a LOT of very knowledgeable "been there, done that" people who offer up excellent advice specifically addressing the topic of she is only doing it to please him.

[youngswingers 15]

Exactly. People of large age disparities can mix, but for a large portion of the population there are a bunch of reasons why they don't. There are a lot of young swingers out there looking for playmates. The vast majority use the internet. Put together your own group of young swingers. We highly recommend it!

[youngswingers 15]

We firmly agree with Quin here. As young swingers we encounter lots of newbies... the couples that are obviously there because one of them wants to swing and the other one wants to please that person tend to annoy most people around them. Those couples not around for very long.

 

If you guys are both equally into swinging check out the internet. There are a lot of younger people out there looking for couples. In most cases, people tend to be aged by the youngest person in the couple.

[Mich149 16]

Don't worry about it were he=27 she=25 and we find alot of people around r age. There alot on this site. But I agree u have to use the web.

[Guest <IAN>]

I AM 28 AND MY GIRLFRIEND IS 25 AND WE FIND IT HARD TO FIND PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SWING.I'VE CHARTED THE NET FOR OVER A YEAR AND STILL NO CLOSER TO FINDING A YOUNG FRIENDLY SWINGING COUPLE. I FIND THE OLDER SWINGERS ARE VERY CLICKY AND TEND TO SHY AWAY FROM THE YOUNGER SCENE. I KEEP LOOKING BUT STILL AINT FINDING.

[R&C 15]

Around here the younger couples tend to be the PPUC (Pretty People in Ugly Clothes), and don't want anything to do with people that are a little older. We have had a couple of relationships with some younger couples and they tended to be OK for a while. After a time one member of the couple (usually the guy) starts acting like they are 12 and that ends it. The thing we see is that those couples often tend to break up. With this type of couple, the guys are often using their wives as a ticket. Granted younger couples aren't the only ones with this type of behavior, but the proportion seems to be higher around here.

[Stratecpl 19]

we had a age problem but it was kinda weird with us..the young ones thought we were too old and the older ones thought we were too young. We are older people 48 and 52 with small children 9 and 11 so that made us a little out of the norm both ways I guess.

[BodyScape02 21]

We're 34 (M) and 42 (F)... We get IMed many times/day by a lot of different people. SOme just want to say hello, most are just looking for her but sometimes we get invites to play. i caught one the other night from a VERY young couple...19 (f) and 20 (m). I was polite but passed on the offer... We wouldn't even be able to meet first for drinks!! LOL :p

[ciscosv 26]

Maturity plays a big role. My wife is 22 and I am 25. I look really young and she is hot! We have not had a problem socializing with couples that are 20-45 maybe older but that is not what is important to us in totality. You will meet some folks that are hung up in their ways about "we wont swing with youngsters" or "they are too old for us". On the other hand, you will meet the most open minded couples you could imagine. Every couple is different. Dont get discouraged.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Oddly enough, my husband and I are similiarly aged to you guys (a couple of years older but we've been in the lifestyle for quite a while).

 

If she really wants to do this for herself she won't be intimidated by the age thing. In fact she will realize that as a younger woman she will be very much desired at a swing club or party.

 

However, if she is doing it to please you and not for herself then no matter what you do it won't help and can only end up hurting your relationship.

[CplFromMD 15]

Maturity plays a big role.

 

My girlfriend & I started swinging at the ripe age of age 21, introduced to the swing lifestyle by a late 40's couple while enjoying a nudist resort.

 

In the beginning we found ourselves meeting mainly older couples, aged 40-50. Couples sought us out as part of their fantasy. The women wanted to experience a younger guy, sometimes like screwing their son's friends. My girlfriend was uneasy with this at first, but soon found that experienced men lasted longer than guys her age!

 

Years later, we've found ourselves reliving our younger days, now 35, we enjoy to meet mid 20 couples and still enjoy the mid 40 couples.

 

It all comes down to maturity levels! We agree that age matters 3x in ones life - 18 to drive, 21 to drink, and 65 to retire. The rest is irrelevant!

[SR71 15]

Hi guys. We know what you are going through. Jack and I are the same age as you guys. We are going to a club for the first time in a couple of weeks. When we gat back we will let you know how good or awkward it was. In the mean time have fun and don't be afraid to ask people about their sexual status. You may find, like we have that a lot of younger people are into bisexual experiences, if so then couple swapping is only the next step. You gotta start somewhere...right?

[JandCMI 15]

I am 27 and she is 22. I suppose that means we are young. We have been to a few dances and we are definately the youngest there or close to it.

[Quin 17]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

younger crowds.

 

In general tho most people are in their 30's or older before they take up swinging. Swinging requires a very strong committed relationship and it's rare that a very young couple would have developed this.

 

Do you have to be married? No, but you should be committed to your relationship.

 

If you are a single, then you need to have a strong understanding what a committed relationship is and why they exist. It's about a lot more than just sex.

Another thing or two to add to Julie's excellent response is first, in your twenties and early thirties, people are very busy getting established in both their career and in their life (i.e. getting married, setting up a house) and then you add babies on top of that and there is very limited time. It's also a time in one's life when one metamorphsis's into true adulthood and understanding (or at least trying to understand) who they really are and where their life is going. While all of us thought we had the answers in our teens, you find out in your mid to late twenties/early thirties that you didn't have a clue.

[babydragon 16]

Both my partner and I are both 28, we have the kids, the house and we both feel very commited to our relationship. Sometimes age isn't the issue it's maturity. I have seen 60 year old men who act like kids every time a set of boobs flash across the screen.