Promiscuity before swinging?

[prettylady 221]

My Dog is guy number 4 for me.

 

All have been long term relationships. First at 15, we had a child together. Next was my husband...excuse me needed to yawn. Then one other. First were just really BAD at sex the other was good, but arrogant. You know needs to brag about how many times he made me cum ( to anyone who would listen). He was also not into ANYTHING. No porn, not toys, he actually told me once that he refuses to wear a condom. If I want to have sex with someone who will wear a condom I had better find someone else...so I did. By the way he was asking to try anal and it was my first time I didn't know what to expect, but I am not stupid so I had an idea of what might happen with out a condom...asshole.

 

Then there is my Dog. He is great and open to anything.

 

Dog was the one who mentioned it. He tried swinging once with his past wife, beyond that I really don't know how many past experiences he has had.

 

I guess three bad sexual relationships then one really good one is what lead me here, I trust Dog and so I am happy to at least give this a try.

 

Wish me luck

[Amanda69 24]

Female here, had a very, very active sex life prior to finding the lifestyle. Lost count in my late 20's...one thing I found when I was out and on the prowl was there were many married men out fooling around on their wives.

 

Then I met a man who put it all together for me. He believed men and women were not meant to be monogomous but that you could still have a permanent mate. He said instead of fooling around and risking ruining the relationship why not invite other sexual experiences into your marriage.

 

It took a long while to convince me and even longer to convince me to try the lifestyle but I haven't looked back since...

[rachan 53]

By the time I was 16 I was having sex with every guy who asked me out but I had the hots for a guy who was ten years older than me. I started slipping out with him at 16 but he was determined not to have sex with me until I was 18. I remember lots of times when he'd cum in his pants after we had been making out and it was frustrating. We finally spent the night together a week or so before my 18th birthday and now he's my husband. I guess I'm still promiscuous. My desire for sex has led to us enjoying this lifestyle.

[Alexxander 15]

My wife and I where never promiscuous, and now we both regret it a little bit.

Our reasons where completely different.

 

I would not specify my wife’s reasons, but mine where mostly because of shyness and insecurity, so I only had sexual encounter with girls that I met for some time and that I became friends with…

 

I am not talking about actual “girlfriends” since I hated commitments and all the silly (at least for me) social aspects of it. I am talking about good friends that both decided to have sex without any commitment at all.

 

That, in my society is not an easy find, specially considering that the people I make friends with are not easy to find either.

 

With all of this said, I would also add that I was and still am very “sexual”… I have always been very interested in all aspects of it, loved to think about it, loved to talk about it, fantasized about it, and so on… (a lot more than you need to hear)

 

So I would like to add, that just because a person is not (or was not) very “promiscuous”, doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is not a very sexual person.

[lkrbms 15]

You can combine and count both of our partners with your 2 hands. SHE, HER, THE MRS. being the major contributor (cough, cough, whore) to our combined total

[flkeyscouple 21]

I (female) lost count before I met my hubby. Prior to my first marriage (high school) I probably had more partners than could be counted on one hand. Then married - got bored and since husband#1 and I didn't communicate well, I had plenty of affairs prior to divorce. Then as a divorced single I had a few years of short relationships - couldn't find anyone that could match my sex drive. Then met and started sleeping with Roger (now my husband). We didn't swing the 5 years of dating, or the first 5 years of our marriage.

 

We started talking about voyeurism and exhibitionism - one thing led to another and we started sharing secrets about our pasts. Roger hearing me talk about my sexual encounters was a huge turn on for him and again - one thing led to another. We started sharing, but ONLY as a couple. I can't imagine playing without him.

 

Roger - on the other hand - was far from a virgin when we met, but he can count his sexual partners prior to me on two hands.

 

The poll is hard to answer when the couple is so different - but I answered for me (female).

 

Sarah

[deanncat 25]

This is my second marriage but I was really young during my first marriage and didn't really like sex but in between the time before I married again I did have a few fun experiences but nothing like I have with my hubby now (my second marriage). He brought me out of my shell and showed how much fun sex could be and it has been 10 years of fun ever since. We are still just chatting about the swingers life, haven't really gone for it yet, but probably will eventually.

[ohash01 20]

J. and I have talked about this, in depth. Neither of us were crazy about it, but we've both had what I would consider to be a significant number of partners prior to meeting. His numbers beat mine, but he has 6 years on me, age wise.

 

I'm a little socially retarded, so I've never been able to go out to a bar and take someone home. Only did that once...met him in Canada, realized we both went to OSU, then we met up AFTER we'd gotten home. Mostly, I ran through my guy-friends at lightning speed. Between all of them, there was a lot of variety, and I was comfortable with them. They were all comfortable "sharing" me, if you will, because they all knew we were all safe and smart about it.

 

J. was a bit of a raver in his wild days, so he was very social and if he met someone he was interested in, would take her home. He told me you can't HELP it when you're on E, but I've never done it, so I wouldn't know.

[blueguitar 15]

My hubby had one partner before me. It was basically from the desire to lose his virginity. Not really a 'bad' experience, but not really a good one either. I had one "partner" before him, and that was a very bad experience, which is why "partner" is in quotes. We have been monogamous, and very faithful to each other. The one exception that still counts as very faithful to each other, we had a very accidental drunken threesome last year, which was unexpected and not talked about before hand. Since then, we have started talking about swinging, and are working our way to having our first real swinging experience.

 

Anywho, I think our lack of experience (we have talked about this) has pushed us towards swinging as a way of experiencing all the things we would normally have missed out on being in a monogamous relationship starting so young. We got together when we were both 17, and we are 22 now.

 

Thats the story!

[rayjane1955 15]

Married for 31 years and madly in love. We just decided to swing. We are doing it for the sex, fun, and excitment. We are very open minded people who believe you only have one shot at life. Make the best, cause who knows; there just might not ba a after life.

[Tia Vampire 167]

After my divorce. I booty called for about a year. So i was a little promiscuious before the life-style. That is one of the reasons i think i was able to adjust the way i have. Still a little shy and nervous at first, but not a prune or closed minded to new ideas.

[Guest firsttimers85]

My husband had one other partner before me. We have been together since highschool and until now he has been the only one I have ever been with. (well over 20 years!) We have always fantasized about being with others but never acted upon it until now. It has brought excitement back into our once mundane sex life. We have both desired trying new things and so far both enjoying it immensely. We are very new to the lifestyle but are eager to experience more. Both wish we had done this years ago. Never knew what we were missing!

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

I wouldn't be surprised if you see a broad cross spectrum. That tends to be the case in this lifestyle on most points where there's a potential spectrum. For example, the recent professions poll.

 

For our parts, my wife had 13 partners including me before swinging, I had 9 inclusive of her.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I wouldn't be surprised if you see a broad cross spectrum. That tends to be the case in this lifestyle on most points where there's a potential spectrum.

 

I'll agree with that. It will be interesting to see, but my money is there will be no number significantly higher than any other.

 

Rather I should say, the numbers will probably closely match any similar poll done with only vanilla couples' experiences prior to marriage.

 

As for us, both had quite a few experiences prior to our marriage and beginning swinging. In our four years of active swinging we still have been with less people than before the swinging years.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Using a little Google-Fu, I found some stats for the general population that seem to correlate with the limited results you've already received.

 

# According to the Details "Sex on Campus" survey (1996), the average number of lifetime partners for college men and women is close: 7.2 for men, and 5.7 for women. Source link

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I was pretty slutty prior to becoming part of the lifestyle (I would guess in excess of 30 partners) ...since then the numbers have just gone up.

[quivers4me 49]

In my 20's I had quite a few partners, spent a huge portion of my 30's either in a LTR or celibate, and in my 40's prior to the LS just 3 partners.

[mixtupcpl 169]

My wife and I were each others firsts back in HS. Over the years, through the open arrangement, the count has gone up some, but I dont think its really relevant.

 

We have already chatted a little with other couples like us. Where they had VERY little experience prior to marriage.

 

I don't know... I'm also inclined to believe that folks like us are MORE likely to be curious since we haven't had a giant hit list and, since couples like this are usually very long term, are possibly more likely to be really linked enough to handle it.

 

And of course that is just an anecdotal assumption as well.

[Malachista 170]

2 - both LTR

[Mr.Essex 264]

I'll say somewhere between 20-25 people. I was in college, and things happen when you expose a sheltered child to screwdrivers and techno music.

[spamcatcher 36]

We've been happily married for 37 years, and started swinging in our 36th. Prior to this, my wife had been my first and only sex partner. She'd had 3 other guys before we met.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

It appears to be a cross-section (as everything is). I am one of those that lost count long before I got into swinging... not that I ever kept track.

 

From reading, it seems like most couples either only had each other (or maybe one other prior) or were pretty open sexually before they ever got married. Swingers like extremes maybe?

[sahajacpl 95]

She was virgin when we got married. I had dated many women and fucked several. So that was an incentive to swing and enjoy sexual fun and intercourse with variety of sex partners.

[iapr 24]

Neither of us were virgins when we met but neither of us had racked up a huge number of bedpost notches either. We spent the first ten years of our marriage completely traditional and vanilla.

 

While I find discussions like this interesting in the end I don't know if it produces much relevent information in the long run. Polls and threads like this appear to look for what makes swingers "different" from "normal" people and I don't think that singular difference is out there.

 

I have met people in the lifestyle that had active sex lives before entering the LS and I have met people that had been with only their spouse for 30 or more years before entering the lifestyle.

 

i think there is an underlying perception out there that swingers are somehow more sexually open, more sexually active, more promiscuous, have higher sexdrives and are of less moral character than the common man/woman out there. But the more people I meet and interact with in the LS I have just not seen anything that supports that perception.

 

The reality I have seen is that swingers are very picky and choosey in who they have contact with. Swingers do in fact have hangups and issues and some folks have a lot of them. Swingers come from a huge variety of backgrounds and have a trememdously diverse sexual histories. And if you were to see a swinger pumping gas at Quick Trip or picking up groceries on the way home from work you would not be able to tell them apart from any other vanilla person you would encounter on the street.

[acorn42047 15]

I participated in this pole even though I don't swing. I answered because I have had over 40 partners including my wife. After careful consideration I just came to the conclusion that swinging was not for me. My past sluttyness was not a factor in my decision. I know plenty of vanilla guys who have had alot of P to V intercourse that would never think of swinging. I think swingers have a combination of sexual maturity and caring for others that is just not required to have a lot of sex in the vanilla world.

 

Hope I didn't fuck up your data .

[htscpl 23]

We had some experiences both together and separate. I wasn't until the kids were grown and out of the house that we got our groove on! LOL.

 

She was looking for strange and I was looking to please her (and myself of course )

 

We've had a great time ever since!

[HappyCpl 89]

I was never what could be considered promiscuous...but I was married three times before finally getting it right, lol!

 

I can count the number of partners I've had on my fingers...almost only using one hand...almost...