What STD testing do you require?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I thought it would be interesting to discuss people's thoughts on STD testing.

 

Do you require it of your play partners?

If a play partner asked you to produce a test would you do so?

 

For us, we typically play in club settings, I've just never been a big fan of the "setup" and feeling like we are going out of our way to make something happen (it just feels contrived). Even in the dating world the idea of having to make great efforts to have sex rarely turned me on. I can recall one time where we planned ahead to get a hotel room for sex. That said, I can't see asking someone in a club setting to produce an STD test (I'm just guessing that like us most people don't carry them around in their wallet). Add to that that I don't find much validity in an STD test, all things considered...

 

1. They don't test for EVERYTHING, no matter what.

 

2. Even if you ask them to throw in all the extras, many STDs don't show up right away.

 

3. There is always going to be a time lapse between the time the test was done and when you see it and there is no way of knowing what happened in that time.

[socolais 696]

somewhere in the continuum between "don't give a shit" and "totally anal about it".

 

There's an element of trust between players and an element of luck in the encounter. We acknowledge the risks (although we also acknowledge those risks are poorly defined) and accept our fate. We got a baseline test before we started and will probably get another one when we feel the need. We trust that our partners are clean or at least made an effort to be less contagious. And we'll accept the hand we're dealt.

 

Swinging is just for fun, there are other fun things too...

[lookingfornow 116]

You are so right about not testing for everything!! When we were first considering playing, we each asked to have STD testing done during our yearly physical. Our doctor told us he had ordered the tests and later told us that we were fine.

 

After doing some research about the viruses and the different testing methods, we contracted our doctor to find out which virus tests he had ordered. Come to find out the answer was that he hadn't order any of the HSV or genital warts tests!!! He tried to tell us that there was no point in testing for HSV or for genital warts since we had no symptoms and no reason to believe we had been exposed. We subsequently got him to order the additional tests, but it was a real battle. He kept insisting that the virus tests aren't that accurate and don't mean much.

 

Word to the wise....just because your doctor says your clean doesn't mean that he or she has tested for the viruses (particularly if you are in a monogamous relationship and have been for some time).

[PBJ 15]

Most doctors don't consider HPV or HSV important enough to test for. The prevailing consensus among doctors is that these are not life threatening and can be treated symptomatically if contracted. This attitude persists despite the fact that modern HSV tests are highly accurate after 2 months and can distinguish between types 1 & 2.

[rpu3 630]

Do you require it of your play partners?

 

No. But safer sex requirements are always discussed, and testing is often brought up at that time. But I've not "required" proof of testing, and I don't know I ever would, mostly because it's outdated from the get-go and not 100% accurate due to incubation periods. If I felt uncomfortable about STDs with that person(s), I'd simply pass.

 

If a play partner asked you to produce a test would you do so?

 

Hmmmm. Tough one, since it's not happened.

 

As odd as it may sound, based on recent conversations and events, it would not be offensive to me if I were asked by a regular playmate. It may depend on the context... perhaps there's a desire to go bareback, etc. I do test regularly through the local clinic and by default through platelet donations and as it is, I do disclose results to one person I see regularly (although I've not whipped out the paperwork).

 

I don't know if I'd be so willing with a stranger.

 

Go figure.

[good times 991]

Wow, you beat me to it Julie, Due to the recent threads you refer to I was planning on posting a similar poll today.

 

I agree with your conclusions, and feel that we probably have pretty much the same view as you do.

 

The only thing I would ad to your excellent list is:

 

4. Based on the fact that testing is notorious for false positives and tagging people who are positive for antibodies but are not contagious, testing could potentially do more harm than good in many cases. Nothing will make someone shunned more than a rumor that they have something contagious, whether it is true or not.

 

Frankly, if someone suggests to us that they require testing we run to the nearest exit. For the life of me, I can't figure out why someone who is that paranoid wants to try swinging in the first place.

 

As someone who has spent a lot of time reading and studying research studies regarding std's and their transmission, it constantly amazes me how misinformed people in the lifestyle really are. Almost every time we go to the club we run into folks who say things like, "safe sex only". I just can't help myself when I say to them, "so if you abstain from sex, why are you here?" Of course, they go on to say that they meant that they use condoms. It is funny how they get this glazed look on their faces when I tell them that of the four incurable std's one can get, condoms have been shown effective at preventing the spread of only one of them (AIDS), and it is the least likely one you would encounter. And most folks flatly refuse to acknowledge that for the two most common ones one would encounter (HSV and HPV), condoms, while slightly more effective than nothing, are considered by experts to be largely ineffective at preventing their spread.

 

The fact is, testing, condoms, or any other scheme to limit your risks, are much less effective than getting educated enough to recognize the various signs of std's when you see them. Sadly, that is not as easy a task as it could be, as the internet is crammed with misinformation and downright lies about STD's.

[kurundu78 15]

We always ask our play couples if they have had a test recently. I agree that in swinging, the potential for getting a STD exists even if using a "safe sex only" policy (condoms), but I still believe that because of these risks, one is entitled to know if another couple has a particular disease.

 

Recently, a girlfriend we used to play with got genital herpes from her new boyfriend. She literally disapeared for a few months, and just a few weeks ago, she broke the sad and embarrassing news to us. Her now "ex" boyfriend was a total jerk in not telling her before hand of his sickness... instead, she was brave and honest to us.

[sweet_tna 680]

I'm with Julie and GT on this one. While we do make some efforts to get tested (annual physicals and blood donation), we don't worry about having a document to produce upon request. We don't expect this of others. While I realize there are some serious risks with STD's, if you don't have some measure of trust with your playmates and/or the lifestyle in general, then you probably should take a pass.

[Bama0468 93]

I am taken to remember something some one said to me WAY back and pardon the bluntness but it is a quote...

 

"If you don't trust the pussy, you shouldn't fuck the pussy." This could apply to penis as well... Let's face it, while in a perfect world it would be nice to have all measure of risk removed but that would make a boring world, after all we take greater risks driving down the street.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We voted it is not required... Why? Because we know the ones we are having sex with care about themselves just like we do. We have had sex before with some that maybe we didn't know so well and we have been tested since. It is just the fact that our play group has gotten smaller now. The ones we play with know as much about our medical history as we do. It is vice versa also.

 

When we find ourselves in a situation with new people, we know there are risks. We don't expect proof or documentation. We did get asked once to show std test results, and come to find out they didn't bring theirs. We just use the best judgments we can, and enjoy our decision.

 

If we put all the fears above our lifestyle of enjoying sex with others...Nobody is having fun. We just don't let fear control us. We make our best choices, it is all we can do...

[ross_sally 9]

"if you don't have some measure of trust with your playmates and/or the lifestyle in general, the you probably should take a pass."

 

Sally and I got really close to experimenting with this lifestyle, but we just can't get over the odds of getting HSV or HPV... for ever and ever.

 

Exchanging STD tests will never be accepted, so we should probably take a pass, at least for now.

[Ntexcouple 17]

Because we both enjoy bareback, and the group we are with enjoy bareback, it is required that testing be done every 3 months. All have agreed to this and all have accepted this as part of our lifestyle. Any new couple that wants to join our group needs to except it also or they will not play.

 

This might sound controlling, but we feel that it takes one fear aspect out of the equation and makes more enjoyable for the others.

 

I guess it is to each his own, but we have found what works for us and others in our group.

[velbuzz 17]

We get tested occaisionally and have no problem sharing the information with whomever. We prefer to hear that our playmates are thinking about being tested also. However, as is pointed out, there are problems with testing and then the time lag thing.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Because we both enjoy bareback, and the group we are with enjoy bareback, it is required that testing be done every 3 months. All have agreed to this and all have accepted this as part of our lifestyle. Any new couple that wants to join our group needs to except it also or they will not play.

 

This might sound controlling, but we feel that it takes one fear aspect out of the equation and makes more enjoyable for the others.

 

I guess it is to each his own, but we have found what works for us and others in our group.

 

I think in a closed group like you described it would be much easier to require regular testing and expect it. As you said to each their own.

[highlander 21]

Julie wrote:

"I don't find much validity in an STD test, all things considered."

 

That is a widespread attitude. However, when you look at groups of sexually active people where testing is common and regular, the STD rate is lowered quite a bit. A good example is Porn Actors. AIM Foundation has instituted a testing protocol in that population and educated actors to request results from other actors. Basically there appears to be a synergy from testing a large group that is bigger than a lot of folks anticipated.

 

The orientation for Porn Actors is Porn 101 and is available at

AIM Healthcare - Home

 

Now, folks that want the ultimate in safety are likely to abstain from all sex. Those that want the next best thing would combine testing, condoms and choosing partners that have a lower risk profile(i.e. not IV drug users, folks in a stable couple).

 

Anyhow, you'll see some public health folks say that testing isn't "cost effective", but what cost effective means to a swinging couple or a swing club is very different than for the public at large.

 

Also, STD testing varies a LOT from lab to lab. the AIM does provide testing to the general public through its affiliates. A complete battery of tests is $325 or so-and that includes HIV, Chlamydia, HSV, Hep A/B/C, Syphilis, Gonorrhea. The big one missing is HPV because the test for men is not FDA approved yet.

 

Now one advantage of condoms is that condoms can help with diseases that may not yet be understood. However condoms don't help much with some diseases like HSV so the best thing you can do there is get tested and expect similar results from your partners.

 

Even if you show up STD+ with something that isn't treatable, it isn't the end of the world. You can still swing with folks that have the same STD as you have with little additional risk.