Who brought up the idea of swinging? OR has it been brought up?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

[lakeluvrs 65]

My wife wanted to have a girl-girl experience, so I brought up the idea of a FMF and she thought that was great. When we discovered how difficult it is to find a F for casual FMF, we just slipped into couple swapping...and the rest is history.

[ownerspet 506]

My wife definitly brought it up... She was into swinging with her ex...

[VegasLee 1,486]

I had been around Swingers and the Lifestyle since I was old enough to have sex.

 

When I met Laura I finally told her about my Lifestyle and she decided she wanted to check it out.

 

That was Many, many years ago.

[cupl4fun 361]

I think I was the first one to mention actually doing it (Mr. Cupl) but we'd been talking about it for years. She didn't want to at first but then she read Swing by Opal Carew and now she's the driving force behind us taking the next step.

[twoingeorgia 16]

I (Dory) brought it up first with my bi sexual curiosity. Andrew was more than happy to hear about my thoughts and fantasies of being with another woman! Like lakeluvrs, we have found it hard to find a whole lot of single females. But we haven't given up hope!!

[elephantboy67 15]

My wife started us off by takeing some tantric classes.

We learned alot about sex from a dikini and the threesomes and foursomes followed naturaly.

Sex is so much better now.

 

Thankyou hun.

[jccuevas-rivera 15]

Well, it is like this, after being married for ten years one day my wife came up to me and asked my opinion about "fantasies" after discusing the difference between tha fantasies that can and should be fulfilled; and the ones that should just remain in your imagination, we came down to the ones each of us wants to see come trough. Then she shocked my socks off by telling me that she had the fantasy of watching me having sex with another woman. As you might imagine, I jumped at the chance right away, at first, then I kind of went lead footted because I told her that it sounded to me like just half of the fantasy. That the second part of the fantasy it would be for her to try and have another partner, and that I was not too keen with the idea. After some exchanges of opinions and some ups and downs in the subject, we both agreed that we'd only try the first part of the fantasy and see what came out of it. If we agreed then we would have the second part fulfilled. Funny thing is, before any of this happened, I had to be on my toes so I would not slip and found myself called "a cheat" I thought I had covered the traditional role of the well behaved husband. Once the subject of "the swingging lifestyle" came up, then I found my beliefs and values shaken to the core. I had to face up to the true opinion that I have on some issues. I hate to be pointed at as a liar. But at the same time, I do want to learn about the life style, and deal with the issues of possessiveness on my part. I know that it involves a different type of mentality, that culturally speaking, latinos had been raised up to think only with the "self enjoyment" mentality. That's why I joined this site as well as a whole lotta other sites and clubes over the internet to see if I could find 'that intimate' friend to share my wife's fantasy, but at the same time feeling guilty for allowing this when it only looks selfish.

I would like to hear your advise and opinions on the subject.

Thanks for the help and the chance

Juan

[VAswingcurious 15]

Well, it is like this, after being married for ten years one day my wife came up to me and asked my opinion about "fantasies" after discusing the difference between tha fantasies that can and should be fulfilled; and the ones that should just remain in your imagination, we came down to the ones each of us wants to see come trough. Then she shocked my socks off by telling me that she had the fantasy of watching me having sex with another woman. As you might imagine, I jumped at the chance right away, at first, then I kind of went lead footted because I told her that it sounded to me like just half of the fantasy. That the second part of the fantasy it would be for her to try and have another partner, and that I was not too keen with the idea. After some exchanges of opinions and some ups and downs in the subject, we both agreed that we'd only try the first part of the fantasy and see what came out of it. If we agreed then we would have the second part fulfilled. Funny thing is, before any of this happened, I had to be on my toes so I would not slip and found myself called "a cheat" I thought I had covered the traditional role of the well behaved husband. Once the subject of "the swingging lifestyle" came up, then I found my beliefs and values shaken to the core. I had to face up to the true opinion that I have on some issues.

 

I am the female half of the couple here and my husband said he would like to have another woman in bed with us... i totally agreed, as I had a girlfriend when I was in college and had many a good time with her. I hadn't had that for ten years now (since I had been married) But hubby is getting cold feet and doe not want to meet people for fear that I have the thoughts of having another man and he thinks that I am being selfish. I told him that if I wanted another man I would have done that long ago and just had an affair... Sounds terrible I know, but honestly - I think an open marriage or swinging lifestyle is great for a relationship I think we can be more open and honest about things when it is all just out there...

[Opportunists 17]

when we were dating, mrs. was very young [20] and wanting to experiment, so mr. would encourage/arrange play.

 

after a break for having kids, it was mrs. who said 'let's have some fun again'!

[RM_93 16]

DH did years ago and I would joke with him maybe some day. We have had an awakening in our relationship after all these years and really enjoying one another. We talked about fantasies and from there we have been more interested in swinging.

[newbieswinger 33]

i brought it up to my husband and he accepted the idea. now i'm looking into it for us so we can get started on it

[swingorbust 15]

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

 

Well like I stated in the intro thread, we are new to this. I broke up with my current girlfriend about a year ago. Then we got back together about a month ago when we discovered we liked being with each other, but just needed more sex with others. We want nsa sex and that's why I got on this site - to figure out the best and safest way to get it.

[nudists4couple 16]

I am the female half of the couple here and my husband said he would like to have another woman in bed with us... i totally agreed, as I had a girlfriend when I was in college and had many a good time with her. I hadn't had that for ten years now (since I had been married) But hubby is getting cold feet and doe not want to meet people for fear that I have the thoughts of having another man and he thinks that I am being selfish. I told him that if I wanted another man I would have done that long ago and just had an affair... Sounds terrible I know, but honestly - I think an open marriage or swinging lifestyle is great for a relationship I think we can be more open and honest about things when it is all just out there...

 

I agree with VAswing. I truly feel that if a couple is open to each other on everything and both truly enjoy the swinging lifestyle, then swinging overall can enhance perhaps improve their sex life and relationship.

[jdavisauto 73]

My lady was a exotic dancer (stripper) in Las Vegas. I saw her danceing at a club then I hired her. I been to only one so call swingers club and my feet stuck to the floor when I walk across it. We started dating and I fell in love with her. We was sitting around and talking about life when I told her about this crap hole of a swingers club. She been a swinger before and got out of it because of her x. A friend told me about the other swinger's club and we talk about it and we went and been going ever since. I guess it was both our ideal to go.

[twisted2828 15]

I Am, And always , will be all for couples!!! That love each other enough to be completely, HONEST.

[DorMar825 15]

He brought it up a couple of years ago, as an alternative to divorce. We've been married 26 years and have issues like trust and college/high school kids.

 

We've played twice (both times with unmarried couples), and experiences a mixed bag of positive and negative feelings from those adventures. We've only met one married couple, but were grossed out by their un-fun personalities (mousy and manic), and never got together again.

 

We've learned a lot about how this works (and doesn't); and now realize our trust issues need more attention; and swinging again for now remains a fantasy.

 

Tasting this lifestyle has been a positive springboard for opening our hearts and minds to each other again, and realizing the depth of our commitment. So we lurk here occasionally; curious, fascinated and trying to keep our minds open to possibilities.

 

Dori

[traveling cpl 59]

The idea may have been with us for years, but the right time, place and persons didn't happen or we didn't make it happen. We have close friends who are swingers back at home, but they hav never ask us to join them, mybe because they are close or we are too conservative for them, who knows. One evening at a hotel in your country we met a couple and over a long dinner they shared some of their swinging experiences, both likes and dislikes with us. They didn't know us and we didn't know them. The conversation had started about what NZ and Australia was like and after some time it turned to sport, family, then sex. Both my wife and I didn't find the conversation strannge. The evening was an non-event but we again bumped them the next day after doing a tour of a city. We had a standard room and they had a deluxe room with balcony. The normal thing happened, we all went to dinner together, then back to the hotel and parted company. Whilst we were talking about them before bed, they called and invited us to their room coffee, so we went.

 

We talked and the subject of swinging came up and without any drink but coffee in our system, the night was our induction into this life style, but only while we are traveling, never at home at this stage.

[K McDonald 15]

Hey, who's idea was it to swing? Husband or Wife's idea?

[willbee34 15]

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

We are here together.We discuss everything about swinging to each other.We feel that we are now ready for the group parties.

[Curiosity0725 15]

my wife brought it up. she said she wanted to watch me with another female but, through talking, i suspect she wants a girl-girl.... which is fine with me... as long as i can watch.

 

i don't think i'd ever be ok with her and another guy though... not even sure how i'd feel about us same room sex with another couple. i had a same room sex experience a long time ago with a high school girlfriend and it totally turned that girlfriend off.... didn't do much for me either.

[wearefun 15]

its when my wife gets the horniest just her thinking or me talking about it

[TropicalCpl 15]

We've been married 25 years - together longer than that. It was probably the third or fourth year of our marriage when we started to discuss fantasies. One thing led to another and while on a trip we made the point of doing some 'showing' but not 'sharing'. Once home we talked about it constantly - it was so hot for both of us.

 

So, the next trip (we don't 'play' at home ever) we took it further - and the rest is history. I can't really say it was 'him' or 'her' that brought it up. We always seem to come up with the same ideas at the same time!!

 

We've also taken 'time off' from swinging - again, not something one or the other of us decided - we just seemed to agree we needed some time when it happened. When we reenter the Lifestyle - we seem to jump in with both feet!

 

The fantasies continue....

[kiki 15]

Well,it just seemed to be the way to go.Never boring huh!

[Mr&MrsGoat 15]

I'm not sure which one of us really brought it up first. I'm thinking me, lol!

 

About a year ago, we joined AFF with the thoughts that we were going to live out a fantasy of mine. We loved to have webcam shows and show off and we got to know a few people that way.

 

But true to life, life happens. So our activities died down bit and we never had the chance to engage in the swinger lifestyle. But now we're going to see about giving it another go.

[Markspurangel 15]

She brought it up first, after we had both had been members of AFF & then combined our accounts into one.

 

We had orginally met on AFF, then IM'ing each other then dating. After about 6 months, things worked out where we were able to move in together. One of my business trips she got us signed up at another website & it's been fun chatting & teasing others in the chatrooms.

 

We both started looking into the lifestyle to meet other couples that liked sex, liked the idea of free thinking & a no holds barred conversation with the other couple. If I thought the other woman was hot, I was free to tell her so, the same thing went with her thinking the guy was a stud on two legs. We've attended some local swinger's parties & they were ok, but nothing has happened with other couples.

 

We've met a few other couples, but our busy lifestyles have been difficult to spend time with friends. We discuss it all the time, but finding the time to play is our challenge. We've both decided the first time should be soft swap with a couple we trust & have gotten to know a bit. This will happen as time goes on, there is no hurry.

 

Until this relationship developed, I had never thought about FMF or MFM threesomes or multiple partners. Just old fashioned I suppose, but we both get hot & bothered when we talk about it & it makes our love life that much hotter.

 

Thinking about it, I think it's time to bring up the subject in bed tonight.

[JKlovers 18]

It just sort of came up between the two of us. My husband liked to talk dirty to me during sex, and he would start asking me about my fantasies while we were in the middle of things. Even though i've always had fantasies about seeing him with someone else, or myself being with someone else, I never said anything in fear that he would get jealous or mad. One night while we were in the middle of having sex, my husband asked me what I wanted. I took a deep breath and told him that my biggest turn on would be watching him go down on another woman and my hubby's face was like this

 

He admitted that his fantasy is watching another guy fucking me, and we both just sort of laughed and said "So since this obviously is a huge turn on for both of us, then why don't we make it a reality?"

 

We haven't done anything yet, but we talk about it all the time, and are seriously considering it.

[shyguy55 15]

Been trying to get wife back into it love wataching her being fucked by another man used to do it alot and was so exciting,now she says we will talk about it sometimes she brings up the past and we get all hot but then the subject drops. Anyone have any ideas

[richwig 16]

We started playing "soft" with two other couples we use to socialize with at BBQ's an other neighborhood functions. We didn't quite "gel" with them but wanted more. So we put up a profile on SLS and haven't looked back.

 

After a while the Mrs said she's felt she's been in the LS since High School with MFM/FMF and other NSA play but took a break as we started a family. Now that the kids are older, we're making up for lost time! LOL

[brti3632 15]

My girlfriend brought up the idea of looking into the lifestyle. She'd been wanting to sleep with another woman for a while, but was nervous to tell me about it. We talked about it and now she loves it.

[heidi103 15]

I was married and me and my husband tried swinging, I enjoyed it very much but due to personal probs outside of swinging we're now divorced..I have continued my swinging lifestyle but only with trusted friends I know personally. I enjoy meeting new friends but am shy and makes it difficult for me, after I get passed the new I warm up nicely!! I enjoy having fun and teasing and pleasing my guys!!

[crazinred 36]

I Crazi brought it up and then gave Red several site to check it out. I really think she was unsure that there was actually a lifestyle like this. Or at least how large it is.

[adultfun6972 15]

we started talking about our fantasies while we were in the middle of things, one thing led to another, enjoy making Friends as well as lovers

[lickme41 15]

I have to admit it was all me. I slipped it in on her

[NCfuncouple98 367]

He and I have been married 10 years. His best friend's marriage is open, and they also have had MMF threesomes. When my husband told me about it a year ago, I told him NO WAY I would consider something like that. But over the year he continued to share with me the things they had going on in their sex lives.

 

When his best friend came for a visit, after quite a few drinks, he asked if he could invite his friend to join us. I said yes.

 

That was only 3 months ago. We have joined a local club, SLS, and are looking for more opportunities.

 

Wow has our sex life exploded! No more once a week obligatory marital sex. We can't get enough!!!

[AprilMike 16]

We were looking into fun things to and a local tv station had a "big expose" on adult clubs in the valley. Well being the adventurous pervs we are,,, we went that night. That was 12 years ago,,,, still have the video,lol.

[LizAndChris 15]

Funny thing.....a friend brought it up. We were talking one day about a guy we new that I thought might be having an affair with another aquaintance we knew... and she says to me....."What if I told you his wife not only knows, but joins in?" I asked how she knew she said......."Because I watched!" That sparked my interest and of course my husband was very okay with exploring the lifestyle. We of course are complete beginners, if you can call us that (never had a swap, just gone to 1 club and watched and let others watch us).

[CandyKisses 15]

It all started when I confessed that i wanted to see my wife with another girl. It hasent hapend yet but hopefully soon. Anyway the subject went away for a while after that and about a year or so ago we started talking about it again and we both suggested trying swinging. We have only done same room stuff and played in a hot tub once but we liked it and want to go further. So i guess it was kinda both of us!

[sassycandy 15]

My husband brought it up, he told me that he wanted to watch me with another guy! I was initially shocked, now I am more interested but still quite unsure. Looking to find out some more information.

[curious4more 15]

Totally researching the subject at the moment and don't know if my wife is going to be interested or not so I may need some help somewhere along the way when I bring her to the site to learn for herself. I'm hoping to learn more about the different levels of swinging, how to do it safely as she is the one that is important to me, proper rules and etiquette, what situation would fit our desires best and what each situation brings to the table for each of us as individuals (mfm, fmf, soft, hard), etc.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Totally researching the subject at the moment and don't know if my wife is going to be interested or not so I may need some help somewhere along the way when I bring her to the site to learn for herself. I'm hoping to learn more about the different levels of swinging, how to do it safely as she is the one that is important to me, proper rules and etiquette, what situation would fit our desires best and what each situation brings to the table for each of us as individuals (mfm, fmf, soft, hard), etc.

 

Feel free to ask any questions you have along the way. The best place to post those types of questions is in the Curious About Swinging forum.

[IvoryTowers 380]

Hard to tell originally, as we had a few threesomes in the first couple of years we were together. But this time around it was Mr. Ivory who brought up the subject. However, we have been and are full partners in exploring this, even if I (Mrs) am way pickier than he is. If it were up to him, we'd have had a lot more experiences, but there just aren't that many guys I'm attracted to, and even fewer women!

[bifemme_19148 58]

It was all me.

 

I won't bore you to tears with the specifics, but my FWB and I have talked about it. As soon as I floated the idea in a "hahaha, [mutual friend] totally said we'd break some poor girl in a threesome. hahaha. I told her it would be a competition. hahaha" type of way, he got a little excitable about the idea. Right now, we're stuck at the "WHERE DO WE FIND A THIRD?" phase, because every three/foursome I've had has fallen into my lap without trying.

[sxyyngcpl80 15]

I (fem) have always thought about swinging, but always tend to let the hubby decide when he's ready. Sooo, recently, he said, "well, since it's so hard to find a female for a 3sum; let look for couples!" You know I jumped right online and posted an ad! HEHE! I took that to mean, he was curious about it, so here we are!

[pierced4 15]

It was something I had experiened back in the '70's, to some degree. Now after 22yrs of a sexless maggiage, Im looking again. After the divorce, in recovery, I found Club Relate on a web searching mission. Being a single guy, over 50, a little damaged, they took me in. No other clubs here would give the time of day to me. But anyway. swinging has saved my life, taught me who I was, accepted it and enjoy my life , and i get layed a lot. Life is good.

[deliciosamami 15]

It was his idea to invite me to the lifestyle due to my insatiable sex drive and my need for variety.I am 24 and he is 37, he has been a wide experience and years of it.I lost my virginity at 20 so I feel enthusiastic and trust him.

When we first started we were lovers and now we are in an exclusive relationship.We went from having sex 5 times a day to 3 times a week.He states its because he wants to be careful because I am pregnant and I think he doesnt find me attractive anymore or he might be cheating.Maybe he is telling the truth.But whenever we speak about our fantasies now he says he will talk about it after the baby.

When we have sex he wants me to do things I cant due to my pregnancy.I was flexible and swallowed during oral, quickies at lunch, in the office or car, morning sex is no longer and we had anal a couple of times.

I would like to act out our fantasies a two months after the baby is born.But my confidence in his desire for me is fading things out and his not having had much of those fantasies come to fruition due to our expecting has discouraged him from seeing me as a partner I think.

I am the same girl his actions are discouraging my belief in our solid honest relationship I wanted to enhance our relationship not provide a false fix it.

[Kitty2009 15]

I (the wifey) haven't brought up my fantasies of swinging yet. I'm not sure how to approach the subject because we haven't had sex in a long time and we're not talking about it yet. I'm looking for advice!

I think we'd be way more into fmf or both swinging for a first time.

We've been married for 5 years and together for 8 years and really pretty happy but more friends than lovers. In the first year of our marriage we built and opened our own business, in the process of working like crazy we lost the snap, crackle and pop in our bedroom. My husband is such a great guy but is either incredibly patient or not as into sex as I've always been. I've slept with alot of guys (50+) and one woman without being a swinger or hooker, just WAY easy for the right feel!

[tnt69couple 64]

My wife brought up having a FMF threesome. She is very Bi and let me know that when we started dating. I brought up the MFM threesome. She told me for a year that there was no way she would be with another man. She thought there was no way a man would want to see there wife with another man. On vacation she had an experience with a guy that we had met online. She masturbated for him, gave him a blow job, he ate her pussy and generally did everything except have sex. She discovered that this was great fore play for our sex. She has now jumped in with both feet!

[happy98274 15]

It was probably me the male half but I am unsure since we both had some expierences before we got together and have told each other about them. Since then we have had fantasies in bed about adding another. She has had relationships with women in the past we first looked a little for women with no luck. So we decided to look for couples and seem to be having lots of luck there.

[Precocious 94]

I am the "she" half of the couple and I am the one that suggested swinging to my husband. We are very new to the lifestyle and at this time soft-swing only. Where we live there are no clubs. I/we joined this site to learn more about the lifestyle and to have a place where there are no "stupid" questions. I've only been here an hour or so, but already have seen that this is a safe place to really talk about the lifestyle.

 

Precocious (she)