Who brought up the idea of swinging? OR has it been brought up?

[HappyCpl 89]

For us, it started several years ago as simply, what I thought at the time, fantasy role playing in bed. He made a comment about having another woman in bed with us...which I thought at the time was just talk...and I started to tell him what I would do to her if she were actually there. I have never even kissed another woman, but I have a great imagination, lol!

 

We continued to occasionally 'role play' on and off until a few weeks ago when somehow the subject came up in a phone conversation while he was on the road. I think he brought it up.

 

All of the sudden I realized that this was not only something he would be 'cool with', but something he would actually want to do. (It only took me how long to figure that out???)

 

So, after the conversation, I started to 'do the research' to try to find a playmate for us. When I called him up at work to tell him about all of my 'research', he was blown away! It was great!

 

Since then we have talked...talked...and talked again. Whenever a question or concern comes up for one of us, we go to the other one with it and we don't drop it until we are both comfortable with our conclusions.

 

From what I've been reading here, ideas, desires, and boundaries may very well change over time. But, I think as long as we keep the communication open and always put each other first, we'll be ok....scratch that...we'll be wonderful!

[brunettemom 15]

With us (she here), my husband was talking to a friend, and he said that his friend told him that he and his wife were at a party with another couple and had a few drinks and it started to get fun. My husband asked him if he had an orgy. His friend told him it was close, but not exactly. Then his friend told him about the swing lifestyle.

I've always known about this lifestyle. I've been wanting to experiment with this lifestyle for more than 5 yrs now. I've just never brought it up to my husband. Now since he's learned of the lifestyle, he's ready to start something new.

We just hope to get more information out of this site, and hopefully learn where there are some clubs near us. I found one that is quite near, and he knows of one other, but we haven't had time to go to one just yet. We have to find a sitter for our little one's.

[Curvy_Vixen 15]

He has swung before as a single male but not really with a regular partner. We spoke about it as fantasy during foreplay (and I think he was hinting ) and I suggested we try. We went for 2 nights and I totally loved it. We're going again for Easter...less calories than easter eggs

[NotSure4sure 15]

I guess i did cause he always lookin at porn sites on internet

[DenMor4 24]

He did 100%. He's always wanted to have the normal guy fantasy of a fmf and he was honest with me about it. At first i freaked out i wont deny it but since it's something he wants so bad i'm trying to get more comfortable with it. When single i'm very open when it comes to sex but when i'm in a relationship exp one leading to marriage i'm very possessive and to be honest insecure but i'm trying to work through my personal problems and see if i can do this with him. I know it'll make him happy and i'm hoping it'll be fun for me.

[frisky-n-fun 31]

I mentioned the idea of having a threesome (WWM) to my husband after we had been trying new things just between the two of us for about a year. He was pretty drunk that night and spun toward so fast and excited he almost knocked me off the bed. I got the impression he was up for it .

[frisky-n-fun 31]

Denmor4 I think it is awesome you are trying to get into your man's fantasy and considering trying new things with him, esp. since ya'll are thinking marriage. Definately take your time and don't push yourself to try it until you feel comfortable. Before we had a threesome we decided on a safeword. If I did not like it once we were actually in the moment I could just say our safeword and we would stop right there (we warned the woman of the possibility). Did not use our safeword but just having one and knowing he would understand if I used it made me feel better about trying a threesome. Wish you guys the best of luck!

[payodie 15]

We started talking about swinging after she brought up her desire to go to a sex club, "to just watch". After talking about it for months we have still not gone to that sex club but are very close to our first meeting with someone. We will not be "just watching"

[Rahul_Neekita 32]

Its has been learned by me(male part) from internet. Its really interesting to know more and to be experienced.

[Guest Trellken]

I guess we started talking about the topic before we even really started dating. My girl and I met through another forum (for an unrelated hobby) and started to talk online more and more on skype. We're both very open about discussing sex and had discussions about our likes and dislikes long before we ever met (we started talking about a year ago, met for the first time in December and have been a couple ever since with plans for her to move in after the summer).

 

During our discussions, I mentioned that I'd never been with two women (the typical threesome fantasy I believe all men have) and that was probably the start of our discussions on the topic of swinging.

[doubledupbuxom 15]

My wife brings up her past experiences with other guys up time to time. I brought up MFM though shes interested in other guys shes not yet open to exploring it yet.

[J&JSwinginPA 18]

Our story is a bit odd.

 

I was working construction at the time and we had a job that was like an hour and a half away. On the way there we'd always stop at the same mini-mart type store for coffee, breakfast stuff and potty breaks.

 

This one particular day it seems everyone had to pee so the line for the restroom was real long and I couldn't wait any longer so I went out around the side and relieved myself along side the dumpster in the grass. As I was turning around to come back I noticed 3 or 4 trash bags sitting on the ground in front of the dumpster. One was slightly open and I could see a porno mag on the top of it. Well of course I needed to investigate further and it turned out all 3 or 4 bags were filled with all kind of porn, swingers mags, bdsm mags literally like a hundred pounds of porn. So I did the only logical thing and pulled the pick-up around and threw all the bags in the back.

 

When we got to the worksite we started looking through the bags and there was just so much stuff it was amazing. All addressed to the same guy I should add. I told the guys to pick through the bags after work and take what they wanted as I could see no use for so much porn myself. Well they pretty much cleaned out all the Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Oui etc. so I was left with a giant bag full of swingers mags, and bondage type stuff.

 

Brought that bag home and was looking at the mags when I had free time. Apparently the wife also saw the stash and was looking at them herself when I wasn't there. ( We worked different shifts for years). Then one night we were out to dinner and she says " are all those mags some kind of hint or something". I then told her the above story and somehow that lead to a conversation along the lines of " what do you think about trying that". I'd say within six weeks of those initial conversations we were at our first on premise club.

[bellsandwhistle 15]

I brought up the idea of swinging. We're at a place where we are no longer jealous, as we may have been when we first started dating. It'll be six years this October, which is also when we'll be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. I'm 30 (the lady) and my husband will soon be 29.

 

Since we're secure in ourselves and confident in each other's committment, it seemed like a good time to explore our sexuality together and enhance our life in the bedroom.

 

So far, so good.

[F250V8 16]

Im the husband. We almost did a full swap when we were in our 20s, but we chickend out. I used to be very jelouse, and controlling. we had counsiling 10 years ago, and thiings are great now.

 

I brought it up. I want to bring another guy to the bed room but she says she isnt interested.

 

I guess I'll just be patient

[Blue_eyes 15]

Swinging hasn't been brought up yet. I'm hoping it willlead to that.

 

When I first met hubby I told him that I was hetroflexible, and had been with several couples as the single girl. He's been expressing interest in us doing that together. Up until now, I have told him that we wouldn't br bringing another person into our life until our trust issues were worked out.

[Act Naturally 15]

Well we're not exactly a couple but the guy I'm seeing brought it up to me. He's had quite a bit of experience in this area and has no problem talking about it. Perked my interest to be sure so I figured I'd try to find out as much as I could about it before I make any kind of decision. So far it looks dandy to me.

[allnightfuncpl 60]

It was actually two friends of ours who first stoked our interest in swinging.

 

I (Mr. Allnight) was the one who first broached it with her (Mrs. Allnight) after our friends revealed their interests in us to me. We talked about it and talked some more, asked our friends a ton of questions about the LS, did about 5 months worth of researching on internet reading everything we could find and talking with our friends and then finally dipped our toes into the swinging LS and other than the few months we took off after meeting the 2nd couple that we mentioned in one of the other threads we have posted in have been actively having fun ever since.

 

Just have never got to ever play with our friends yet due to distance, schedules, and jobs, but the desire to do so is still there for all four of us.

[Guest mysticon]

I brought up the idea of swinging originally to my fiance, probably around 4 years back; but we didn't actually do anything "concrete" with it until last year.

[ACuriousDuo 46]

Well... we are at stage 2 in your original thread post. The husband brought it up as a long time fantasy, and continue to fantasize about it and are using the board as a research, question and answer tool.

[mikeandjenn2001 77]

I brought up the idea of watching Jen with another guy, but she wasn't interested in that. We talked about it though and she was comfortable with having sex in front of other people. We eased our way into it, but once we started, she wanted more, lol.

[daqueenbee 15]

I brought up the idea of swinging to the hubby, he's becoming more interested as we research together.

[Guest the2vs1913]

Well, I have had more experience with my past relationships (sexual) and I had a girl-on-girl experience when I was a teenager. I told my husband my sexual history and it has been nothing but a turn on! He brought up the idea of being swingers, I'm still hesitant of it, but we are learning together.

[CuriousCpl90301 15]

My girlfriend brought it up after a very steamy dream she had, involving herself and another woman.

[curiousNWcouple 17]

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

 

I brought the idea up to Mrs. Curious probably several years ago and there was no apparent interest other than hot sex during and after we shared our fantasies. A couple months ago she brought it up again and it turned into a very open and honest conversation (that led to more hot sex!). It has only been in the last couple weeks that we have done any serious research and this forum has been a great find!

 

curiousNWcouple

[VancouverDuo 15]

It was a mutual topic of discussion as we both have a lot of experience in the lifestyle from a relatively young age, so it was a quick and easy addition to our relationship.

He loves seeing me with other people, and I him, so it's perfect:)

There is definitely a genetic aspect to our sexual preferences. hehe

[m and m nc 15]

We actually stumbled on our mutual interest by accident. He asked me last year if I would be interested in going to a party with him (in jest and only because his old neighbors -who want him badly- had invited him to go as their date). I, of course, answered a very enthusiastic yes! He did a double take (the look on his face was priceless I am sure). This led to discussions about out past (mine in the LS in a previous relationship and his FMF experiences). We found we are very compatible in our desires etc. Been fun talking about it and acting on it ever since!

[kiki 15]

Kinda both brought it up after an experience on the beach one night! It was YUMMY too!

[thenewkids 15]

I am the female half of the couple. When we were dating we played around in a MMF type thing. We've been married 15 years and the one thing I cannot stop thinking about is being with a woman. Not only that but of sharing her with my husband. I brought it up one night when we had noth had several drinks and kind of left it at that. My husband brought it up awhile after that and we keep talking about it. I started doing some research on how to go about finding someone etc. I found out about a club in a nearby city and found this forum. Since it is so hard to find just a female we've talked about finding a couple with a bi female so we can play while the guys watch. So, I guess we will be looking for a soft swap as I have no desirte to be with another man besides my hubby. This forum has been so helpful so far. Being new to this lifestyle I had no idea where to start, waht was acceptable, etc. Now I have plenty of things to think about and talk about with my husband and I feel like I will be a little more prepared when we make our first trip to the club in May!

[Bunny Rabbit 15]

I being the female brought it up as it was a reoccuring dream I had. I also had a wish to see my DH enjoying another female. We have had only three encounters but have very much enjoyed them.We were very lucky to find a very nice female who wishes to be in our bed on a regular bases. I can only hope it keeps getting better and better.

[sxmcouple 16]

I brought it up but quickly found out it was a mutual interest. Then we were asked by some close friends who suspected we were into the lifestyle or exploring about it and we said yes we were and so it has been an interesting time to say the least.

[WabashWilde 15]

This is the female half of the couple. The male half brought up the topic of swinging very early on in our relationship, but I wasn't ready and he suggested the absolute WRONG person for piquing my interest (someone he was attracted to, but who I had a very bad long term personal relationship with, due that person's integrity issues). Later, we had some same-room sex experiences with some other couples, but there was no actual swapping involved.We have been asked outright on four separate occasions to swing with others, and have had another couple hint around the bush about it, but declined each time.It has remained a favorite fantasy topic for years, though. Recently, I developed the desire to move from fantasy to reality. At first he was for it, then the common fears arose and he told me he wouldn't even consider it and he wanted me to stay off of this site, which I did. Then he had a change of heart, so now we are reading and talking about it a lot, but haven't acted on it as of yet.

[TwoTongues1999 15]

Mr. TwoTongues here

 

I've always told Mrs. TwoTongues that I'd be OK with her sleeping with women, bisexuality is part of her, and something I don't mind her exploring. We never set out to make anything happen though.

 

But more recently, as I said in the "How did you find the Swingers board" thread:

Started with me researching things to do in Vegas, which led me to the Red Rooster pages. The Swingersboard was frequently mentioned as the go-to place, so I started reading it last year sometime.

 

Contrary to Mrs.TwoTongues belief, I did not really have an ulterior motive

 

I just found the discussions interesting, especially the focus on honesty, and openness. Adults talking about sex and sexuality in an adult way.

 

Really hun, I only read the Swingersboard for the articles!

 

I think initially it bothered her that I read the Swingers board while claiming that I wasn't looking for someone else to sleep with. I encouraged her to actually read the forums, and see what they were about. That the whole point to me was to have fun and explore with your partner in complete openness. And if she doesn't want to do it, I don't want to do it. I have no interest in Swinging without her.

 

So she started reading the forum, and I think that once she saw that it was (largely) made up of (mostly) normal people - she felt comfortable enough to actually start to think about swinging and what her boundaries were.

 

And boy did things change quickly after that

 

She quickly went from

"Well, we can go check out the Red Rooster next time we go to Vegas" to

"Hey, maybe we could play some when we're at the Rooster" to

"Hey, maybe we could play with other people" to

"Hey, let's sign up on SwingLifeStyle" to

"Hey, I've got a date with a girl on Saturday"

 

Now, we're trying to do our research and find people and events in our area to learn more first, and then approach the whole thing with an open mind.

[2vcuriouscouple 15]

Hello,

Well, to answer the basic question my husband brought up the idea of swinging. I myself new about the lifestyle but didn't think it was for us, until we have talked about it more.

 

We used to have a profile on here before but I got spooked and had it deleted, so we are trying again after taking off a few months!

 

I hope we can met some really awesome people on this website that can help us and maybe more!

[RussRaven2 15]

He brought up the idea of me with other guys. He loves it...even if he can't participate. Would love to watch or participate. I think we'd like to take turns watching.

[swmocouple 15]

We visited with an old college friend a few months ago, and as we were going to bed he mentioned how much fun it was when we were young and crazy, and how he really enjoyed the couple of times we had threesomes with his friend. It has come up several times in the bedroom as a roleplay scenario, and we've both been getting off on it.

[meandmyhotgirl 15]

Well, I never thought I would have liked the idea of swinging per say, but one of my exes had brought it up to me and the possibility of fulfilling some of my fantasies was definitely appealing. Now I just like the idea because I can meet new people, not have to worry about trying to impress anyone or awkward dating situations. It's all about having fun and expanding my horizons now.

[clintsgirl 15]

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years mentioned to me about a year ago that he really liked the thought of seeing me with other men- a cuckold sort of thing. At first I said no, but the more I thought about it the more it intrigued me. We had one threesome but it wasn't all that great but now I'm ready to try out a swingers club, I think the party atmosphere would suit me better than meeting some stranger at a hotel who ends up being nothing like his internet pictures! My BF has very little interest in either being with another woman or seeing me with a woman and I'm fine either way. Eventually maybe we'll go that route but right now what seems to do it for both of us is me with other guys. We'd love to meet some people at some swingers clubs and have some fun with them in that sort of environment.

[lovinglife77 15]

I think for me when I was younger I had the curiousity about it more to be with a woman. I never ventured there. However I did swap dates in highschool with some guy friends so it opened my mind to the idea of it. I'll never forget the first time I saw another couple fucking while I was fucking my guy friend. It was a turn on. Then in my twenties it just sort of happened nothing planned it just did. My first experiance was with 2 guys and I loved it and we continued to go to bars and then would always go back to his place. I guess for me I like the idea of being naughty.

 

Then my night of taking home a married couple from the bar. They asked me to stay I was clueless to why. I said I would go ahead and stay and asked what room do I get. As I'm climbing into bed they are stripping there clothes off. My first thought was what the hell. Then on the other hand I thought the husband was really hot I thought why not. It all started well but ended badly the wife got jealous and made a big scene. As I left I thought to myself never again.

 

Now I'm in a relationship and he is suggesting it. I still have mixed feeling about the idea of sharing him. In part I want to but on the other hand I don't want to be the crazy girlfriend. I'm still on the fence about it but open to the idea of it. I'm taking some baby steps even though I've experianced this in my past.

[Nlove4ever 15]

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

 

Hmmmm, that was me (the Mrs, S) LOL! I have always been bicurious, and had a few sensual encounters with women before, but not actually sexual . C, the Mr, was totally receptive when I brought up the idea in one of our regular "bare-your-soul-is-anything-on-your-mind" conversations. YAY!! I was really pretty apprehensive about telling him I was interested in sharing our bed/sex lives with another person or couple. We have a very trusting relationship with very open communication, though, so I knew even if he wasn't interested, it would not be a major ordeal. Now, we are researching together; learning about the lifestyle, threesomes, etiquette, how to meet people, and trying to decide how to find exactly what we are looking for.

[Suburbia 130]

Mrs. Suburbia brought it up first and it was such a natural fit for us we both sighed and said... This is what we were missing!

[AZCouple 99]

Male half here. We are looking to spice up our life a bit. We have been to a swing club a couple of times and enjoyed it very much. We have not swapped. Not even sure if we will. But we have found that we enjoy watching as well as being watched. I totally am into watching my wife showing off her sexy body to others. We have also found the swinger community to be a more honest group of people.

[CouplesClique 15]

We went to Cancun ( Desire Resort ) about a year and a half after our daughter was born for a much needed adults only retreat. We had zero idea that adults only, clothing optional meant... swingers lol! We were so naive that we really believed that this was just a couples only.. no kids... clothing optional resort. We have always been pretty wild together so the clothing optional part was exciting.

 

It was on our first day that we noticed that things were not what we expected. An attractive couple came up to us while we were lying nekkid near the pool. She approached my husband and he approached me.. they were nude .. friendly and very flirtatious. It was flattering but since we didn't understand what was going on there .. we were a bit uneasy.. nervous. The conversation came to a close and after they were out of earshot we laughed our asses off and were like WTF was that?

 

Later that evening the resort held a party of sorts around their huge hot tub which overlooked the Caribbean. The music was great, drinks were flowing and this hot tub probably held 40 people easy.

 

Couples, both nude and in suits were climbing in and out of the hot tub. It was a pretty erotic scene. Torches, Caribbean breeze, hot tub and a large group of fun, attractive open minded couples.... we still didn't realize they were all swingers ... until ...

 

The music changed from party beats to a very seductive Spanish sounding version of enya or enigma...

 

All around the hot tub .. all suits started flying off and slowly but surely couples started switching partners.. not just casual conversation switching partners but much more.

 

My husband and I looked at each other smiled and slowly slid out of the hot tub and onto one of the lounge chairs around the outside. The scene that unfolded was something that we still have never replicated. We watched as my husband slid inside me and we both exploded within a very short period of time... I can't describe how erotic this scene was.

 

Once again.. back in our room we were like WTF! What is this place lol! We fucked like crazy that night... vivid images still racing through our minds.

 

The next day at breakfast, the couple from the previous day approached us, sat down, and said... " you two don't really understand what's going on here do you? " It was the perfect ice breaker .. we laughed and said nope.. fill us in!

 

These two were awesome. They basically taught us about the lifestyle over the next few days. They encouraged us NOT to participate until we really talked, discussed our feelings.. jealousy, lust.. the difference between playmates and soulmates... our fantasies etc.

 

We took their advice and kept in touch with them... about three months later they were our first experience and it was awesome!

[sexyeurogirl 15]

I convinced my husband:)

[BBW_Lover1974 15]

It was ME who actually brought it up.

In our case at least SHE gets to do whatever she wants but I must play by the rules

and I'm happy with that b/c it's more about HER pleasure than my own besides,

it's just more fun to watch her get hers several times LMAO

[MN Tom 251]

I (the guy) brought the idea up, many times over the years actually, and over the years our sex life has been progressing to the point of her opening up more and me revealing a lot more about my fantasies. I guess I would say this became a logical extention of delving into more freedom, we have many fantasies and would like to see some of them come to reality.

[tomk 15]

We went to a few nudist places and from there tried mild swinging. My wife one day burst out she wants to watch me with another woman. I admitted I want to masturbate while watching her. We both want to try group and she maybe a gang bang. We haven't tried anything yet since it seems very hard to meet anyone not rude or who is real.

[Parisien 46]

Mrs. Parisien says to me, what do you think about the key party in the Ice Storm? I told I thought it was terrible, but the idea of swinging seems pretty attractive. Then she said she would be far too timid and shy, I wasn't sure if she was talking about swinging in general, or just the Ice Storm. So later I said is the subject of swinging closed then? She said oh no, it's open!

[wwc59 15]

My girlfriend brought up the idea out of the blue. It was probably one of the the most mind-blowing/exciting moments in our relationship for both of us. It turned out that we had both been thinking about asking the other for a while, and when we finally started talking about it we figured out that we just wanted to meet other couples. We just started talking to a couple our same age that live at another SEC school about an hour from us, and we really think it's going to be a great first experience to go and get to know them.

[cloudynights 15]

Mr. Cloudynights brought up the idea. I wasn't very amenable at first, but I nevertheless set off to research the topic exhaustively, because that is what I do. I've consistently been the person most likely to contact and communicate with couples.

[Calif_Dreamers 15]

Yea, this one was my idea (Mr. Dreamer). It started with a few fantasy discussions in the bedroom at least 6 years ago, maybe more. The discussions kept leading to the thoughts of acting them out, which grew on Mrs. Dreamer over the years. Now here we are taking some steps.