Who brought up the idea of swinging? OR has it been brought up?

[Markjorge1 59]

My wife brought it up. We were drinking and having hot sex and she told me about her fantasy to watch another woman suck my cock and then for her to join in. Since that night it progressed from bedroom talk to sober talk and now we have decided to go to clubs on our vacation this summer. The talk has made our sex lives so hot, we can't wait for the real thing!

[3waypleasure 58]

The "lifestyle" has only enhanced our already incredible sex life, deep love, trust and respect for each other!!! Neither of us has any use for wasted emotions like jealousy or insecurity and we can't imagine anyone claiming love for their spouse/SO/GF that wouldn't want to make the utmost pleasure available to them! Our activity in the lifestyle in no way defines us nor is this more than a hobby for lack of a better term.

I know this is an old post, but sounds exactly like us. We have been swinging for about 10 years and have yet to have better sex with anyone else. Swinging just emphasizes how great sex is between us.

 

As for the original topic, we started swinging back when we were dating and as soon as we became intimate. She had fantasies of multiple men at once, so I helped her fulfill it. MMMMF is still one of our favorite swinging activities. I really think swinging keeps the sex hot between a couple.

[Guest]

We were approached by another couple after having hung with them at a hotel beach and bar and around town during a couple of evenings in Key West. We weren’t even married yet but they invitation got the two of us talking about it. My biggest concern was the other woman of the other couple stated she was bi and I didn’t know how to handle that. We decided not to accept the invitation now but that if we ever did start swinging, MFM would be the most acceptable for the two of us. About 3 months later, the male of the couple sent us a text, he was in Chicago on business, wanted to meet for a drink, we did, and we ended up in our first MFM. I was sold.

[EastInWest 1,524]

This was me, the male. We were doing 69 and I threw it out there that I'd like to see her on her knees sucking another man's cock. We talked about it a little until I came, and then it didn't come up for a few days.

 

Then we're pulling back into the driveway after getting groceries, and she asks me if I was serious or if that was just something I said during sex. I told I was pretty serious, and she seemed thoughtful and said she might be into that at some point.

 

It took a couple years to get there, but we got there.

[newcers 15]

I (he) brought up the idea and have discussed it with her. She doesn't disagree but, so far, she won't go beyond the fantasy.

[rick181au 85]

It was me Rick for sure, we started going together when we were 17, she was a sweet innocent church going Catholic virgin, I took her cherry when we were 18, we married at 21, had our family at 28 and 30, we joined a nudist club when we were early 30's and soon found out their was a lot of swinging going on ther, naturally I wanted to join in, it took a lot of talking but the wife finally went with her first EVER other guy when we were 35 and married 15 years, what a Pandora's box I opened, it was very sexy and fun seeing my 35 year old wife exploring her new found sexual freedome, she had me biting my tongue a few times with some of the things she got up to.

We are now mid 70's, married 55 years and still very much in love, our playing with others has slowed to almost "ALMOST" a stop, but we sure have had a wonderful and exciting sex life.

Rick.

[padoc 1,703]

You're in Atlanta. Go to Trapeze. A club like that is the absolute easiest place to get your feet (or more) wet. This was directed at Orunge.

[Numex 2,409]

Basically, my wife and I were discussing our sexual pasts in a lighthearted way, and I told her I wouldn't mind if she played with any of her exes. She took it from there.

[Funlatincouple 44]

For us it was just a progression of games and play that lead us to

That point. Before it happened though it was discussed various times privately and socially with the other couple to ensure everyone was onboard 100%. Didn’t happen overnight for us, no doubt. It was important to ensure everyone was truly prepared to take that step. Since then it’s been amazing and all the work to prepare paid off big time.

[skyguy6977 88]

I brought sky into it. Ever since in can remember I had been into sex and did not see that I could be tied to just one person sexually. He agreed and we have been at this for many years now.. it has been exciting and fun and not without some frustrations, but a great adventure. Deb.

[venusshaw 123]

It was him, but it was about me swinging. He never had or has an interest in going with another woman. He says that I am too good in bed to be with only one man - my skills should be experienced by all men. The more other men appreciate me and I enjoy their attention, the more turned on he gets. So here we are - he is a voyeur and cuckold, I am a swinger and we both enjoy it and talk about fulfilling all my fantasies. In the true spirit of swinging, I don't discriminate between looks,color, size or anything distinguishable, except if someone is smelling. Two people should get together and put their best efforts to please each other. If I get an inkling that the guest wants to have a good time, irrespective of how it is going with me, I get shut off, get on with it and finish with a quickie.

[agreatguy 269]

We both had been in long term marriages that were unfulfilling for numerous reasons.

I had just gotten out of another fairly short relationship. Part of the reason for that break up was my desire to experiment. I knew that I wanted a partner that was open to swinging in an otherwise secure and loving, emotionally monogamous relationship.

 

In typical vanilla attempts at dating jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness all reared their ugly heads pretty quickly to the point I knew that would never be an option. So, I set out with the intention of putting it all out there in ad on a vanilla site. I figured I was wasting the time of the women I was meeting as well as my own.

 

I was as detailed about it as I could be but was directed by the site to rewrite my ad with less specificity(they didn't like certain words like "swinging") and that was actually fine. I was able to write something that an intelligent woman could read between the lines and understand my direction. That's exactly what I got too. It didn't take long for me to receive responses, some of them positive and some not so much. My wife responded though. She seemed intrigued by what I was proposing and asked if I would mind answering some questions. Some very detailed emails were exchanged and she was very much like me in disappointments with trying to find someone to walk on the wilder side. She knew she had a curiosity(she knew the lifestyle existed from teen years since she babysat for couples that were swingers) but didn't have a clue how to pursue it. I offered that opportunity but also offered long term stability which we both also desired.

 

We knew going in that it would take time to build our relationship and the trust required but from my standpoint it was very easy. My marriage was 20+ years of jealousy, accusations and insecurity on the part of my ex. My wife's previous marriage was more like a business arrangement than an emotional connection.

From very early on she would ask me about other women or couples we would see on the street or even on magazine covers(would I like to have sex with them?) It was totally foreign to me to have someone so secure in herself and us to talk about that. I gave her the kind of day to day emotional support she needed to feel secure in a relationship. Together we saw that we could fulfill each other's other needs and become a strong couple. This was a part of our relationship form day one and something we always knew we were building towards not as some kind of payoff but just to spice up things when they got dull, as they eventually do, and fulfill some previously unspoken fantasies. While things haven't gotten dull yet we have fulfilled some awesome fantasies and realized we have more. We've had bumps along the way, some lifestyle related some not, but they've almost always been rooted in failure to properly communicate. We've gotten so much better at that one thing, communication, it is now probably one of our greatest strengths.

[Out-N-About 52]

Hubby brought it up originally. He had some dreams from time to time about walking in on me with one or two of my gf. He thought I'd be upset about it, but it actually turned me on a lot. It kinda progressed from there, now we're pretty close (I think) to getting with one of them and her hubby. But yeah, still looking for that right/first couple/person

[Bigdick4gf 15]

Looking for big dick for gf. Unfortunately I have a small dick and want my gf to experience the pleasure of a big cock white or Hispanic males

[Ineedmore84 18]

I brought up swinging. I really want to watch my husband with other women. It’s one of my biggest fantasies and if I get to be with other guys in the process it’s a win win ?

[dazanconfsd 84]

Wife definitely brought it up. Ineedmore84, This is exactly how my wife brought it up to me, and she also admitted she would like to try other men and bigger built than me. It honestly didn't take much convincing, about 3 days worth. When we did try the first time, knowing nothing about the LS and being nervous, it didn't work out quite as planned. We regrouped, I did some studying on here and we have had great interactions since. My biggest fear was her continuing to want someone else, which is foolish in hindsight. She wants many other someone elses as do I. And she comes back to me, and I her, every time with even hotter sex afterwards.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Hmmm, now how ever did this thread escape my attention all of these years. I don't know but here is my answer.

 

My wife brought the idea of seing to my attention. We had been married for about seven years at the time. She asked, "would you want to do something like that?" It was a lightning bolt out of a clear, blue sky. My mind raced. I suspected it was a trick question. But a little voice in my head spoke to me, "the truth will set you free." So without qualification I said yes.

[findinganswers 369]

My wife did. Her good friend and husband,who we are both friends with introduced us to swinging. It was my wife and her friend who planned to get me to play. I was very suspect to their evil planning even though we are both very happy with the way t went.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

One night in bed, during foreplay we started talking about a pretty girlfriend of hers. I told her I would love to see them together. It just went on from there.

[Dearanddarling4 18]

I am the wife half of the relationship and I started the ball rolling on the swinging conversation. I have always been a very sensual person, which my husband loved and still loves about me. I had many sexual experiences in my late teens and early 20's that my husband didn't and he loves to hear the stories. We've both been interested in a swingers lifestyle for a long time but needed to make sure we spent the time to develop our own fully beforehand. And now, we're both comfortable with beginning our journey into swinging.

[Alex123 18]

my wife has a high sex drive and wants to go swinging and i.m cool with it i think it would be a great turn on to watch have sex with someone else

[Alpha_omega1122 17]

Ok so two days ago me and my wife were having sex and while we were having sex in doggy style position I had made the comment to get her toy and suck on it then told her it would be hot to watch her suck a dick or eat a girl out while were having sex and at first she was weird out by it but then while still having sex and her thinking about it she got really turned on by it and made the comment that the thought was so hot and really turning her on and well at first I just thought about maybe I was just talking s**t but deeper thought still two days later I don’t think I was I do watch swinger porn and I am even open to full swap possibly can someone help me please the thoughts are still really turning me on

[WD1 16]

I booked us a trip to Hedo II in Jamaica and it was more to see how wild the place was and enjoy one another with some vacation time. We bared all at a spa in Germany so the nudity thing wasn’t an issue. Naturally we spend time at the bar and another couple and us just seemed to click, nice couple. After drinking and just being in/out of the hot tub my wife and his wife started making out and things went fast, very fast. Needless to say the night was foggy but we had plenty of fun. Seeing my wife with another woman was incredible.

[Newb_Couple 28]

i brought it up to my husband and he accepted the idea. now i'm looking into it for us so we can get started on it

Sounds like us, want a MFM but want to be private as well. She brought up having another male with us so she can show off her BJ skills plus possible DP.

[1hotminute 72]

I am here because I am interested in swinging. My wife is not as she has said when I ask. She has seen that I look at this site and I assume she understands that I am interested in swinging but since it becomes a dead shutdown conversation I don’t bring it up.

[Jane1902 476]

1hot- I can understand having a profile on SLS to access the site but if your wife were to find out...invite her to this site instead.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

This is Mrs. Idaho. A few months ago a bunch of my coworkers got together for drinks. I got quite drunk and kissed two females. I liked it.

OMG. What have I done? were my thoughts. Had to go home and tell the husband. Did I cheat? (We've been married 35 + years) But man it was hot. He was so shocked. In a good way. And very turned on.

In the last couple of years with an empty nest we have reawakened our sex life and are like a couple of kids with new toys...each other and toys, sub Dom, light bondage and spanking. Now the thought of adding extra players to the mix has blown our minds. We have chatted up some couples on sls and going to our first meet and greet next weekend. Then the following weekend traveling to Portland to a club. One night is kink night. We want to learn. Hoping to pop our swinging cherry real soon.

We have been doing our due diligence in reading, learning, lurking and above all most importantly talking.

We are doing this to have fun. Nothing is broken so not fixing our marriage, not missing anything in our relationship, not jealous, and neither one of us pushing the other into this.

I know the thread was which partner brought up swinging? After a long winded explanation it was me the wife.?

[1hotminute 72]

Jane I would invite her but she’s definitely not interested I’ve brought up enough things with basically a “hard no”. I’ve left up the site on my phone before so she could see it. It would be fun if she was interested though. We’ve had threesomes with a buddy of mine in the past too but she says she’s not interested in ever doing that again as well.

[Numex 2,409]

... it would be hot to watch her suck a dick or eat a girl out while were having sex ...

It's even hotter to watch another guy moving his dick in your wife's pussy while she's sucking you. Or you fucking a girl doggy as she's eating your wife's cunt, and watching her reaction.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Some people are just not 'wired' for swinging, others don't have a strong enough relationship. What you CAN do is work on the relationship: love, trust and communication. Make all three better. The worst that can come from that is your relationship improves. Most of the time, a partner will take the suggestion of swinging as 'you're not good enough and I want something more' or 'I'm just looking for your replacement'. When the love/trust/communication is all there, this no longer is the issue. It's a long shot, but at least it is a shot and it can't really hurt anything.

[TnA83 305]

On 10/3/2019 at 5:03 AM, 1hotminute said:

I am here because I am interested in swinging. My wife is not as she has said when I ask. She has seen that I look at this site and I assume she understands that I am interested in swinging but since it becomes a dead shutdown conversation I don’t bring it up.

We're in the same situation.  We're both very different kinds of people.  When I broach the subject ion the light of day, she gets butt-hurt and goes of on me saying that "I'm not enough for you."

 

OTOH, when she's sitting on me and I say, "It would be so hot if another guy or girl was licking your butt right now," she kind of digs it.  So that's the approach that I'm taking these days.

[njbm 2,868]

Some (most) people are not interested in swinging. It took me a very long time to talk my wife into it. Depending on your spouse, it may not happen. Obviously, all bets are off with the corona virus mess. 

[crazednymphos 38]

We have always been comfortable playing together in the same room as others since we met in 1999, and I guess I was the first one to bring up an intrest in swinging, we had any number of fails and we have been very lucky things have gone as well as they have, we dont go to parties as we're both homebodies but we like to chat and play with others when we feel that itch.

[enjoyingfun 69]

Mmmm I did my bf was like wow and I knew It would work just then. Now many mfm later we can both say it has been great!!!   Finding a new guy is so much fun for both of us. 

[CythereaSkyclad 19]

Hubby always bring up wanting another girl involved, wanted me eat her while he fucks me, her eat me while he fucks her. I do admit I was not in it at first. I do have a kinky side of me fantasize things... I told him I may do so if I can have another guy to fuck. Oh gosh well here we are. 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

4 hours ago, CythereaSkyclad said:

Oh gosh well here we are. 

And we're happy to have you here with us on the site!  My advice would be just continue to explore the fantasy on whatever timeline feels right, no need to rush anything.  You may decide next week you are ready to move forward with it, or six months from now, or maybe it ends up it just always stays a fantasy.  No right or wrong answers, just walk the journey together as a couple and see where it takes you.

[JessicaJamison 861]

My husband originally brought up his "hotwife" fantasy.  Asking me to flirt, seduce and sleep with another man.  I was pretty reluctant in the beginning but eventually met a guy that really did it for me and I gave my husband his fantasy.  It surprised me how well it went for both of us so I started being open to opportunities when they arose.  A year after I got downright aggressive about my hookups.  I was the one that ended up opening the door to full swaps, my husband was eager to do it, and within a month we had our first full swap.  Currently we have a couple that are close friends that we swap with frequently, we also have another two couples we can play with.  

[JennySwallows 45]

I've only been unmarried doing swinging (A GOLDSTAR UNICORN!). After my divorce I had a fuck buddy mention he fucked hotwives now and then. I had zero idea what he was talking about. He introduced me to swinging after suggesting it.

[mrandmrsbusty 1]

it was a mutual discussion that , initially was about fantasies, ideas to spice up sex life

[Essex27 13]

Wife and I would talk about it during sex and it would get us off in a good way.  Then 7 years later she asked me point blank  if I would have a threesome or foursome and the word “yes” shockingly came out of my mouth.  She was shocked as well but didn’t say much until a few years later we took a sex quiz together and she revealed she was open to it. 
the problem is actually going through with it and how to find a couple that would be willing to deal with newbies.  However if we never do it I still think it’s nice that we are on the same page.

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Our friends brought it up. We knew they were swingers and always invited us to join. We laughed it off as a joke until the joke became reality. I think because it was friends it made the first time easier, not easy. I admit it was fun, Debbie will admit it now too even though I could tell she was having fun the second and third time. 
When our friends invited a third couple, Debbie was unsure and then gave her approval. I think our first thoughts were unfounded that swingers were a type.  When we were finally alone afterwards she did say it was plenty of fun. 
At this point we will wait for trips to our friends for any more fun. 

[cplnluv1 871]

17 hours ago, Essex27 said:

the problem is actually going through with it and how to find a couple that would be willing to deal with newbies

Search carefully, we know there are idiots out there. When you find the right couple you will know. Also don’t be afraid to say no if you aren’t comfortable 

[Funlatincouple 44]

Same here, close friends >12 years now. They asked us. Took my wife probably 6 months after that point to finally agree but patience is key. We started a private group chat among us, where everyone was encouraged to speak freely. The girls talked more in depth over DM, versus in person. Over that time EVERYTHING was discussed. Just took my wife time. I supported and encouraged her the whole time. One day it finally happen. Best night. 4 1/2 later, we’re all still playing. 

[Essex27 13]

On 2/22/2022 at 10:02 AM, cplnluv1 said:

Search carefully, we know there are idiots out there. When you find the right couple you will know. Also don’t be afraid to say no if you aren’t comfortable 

Thanks for the affirmation.  I was taking that approach and I don’t want us to be in a high pressure situation.   If it happens it will be the right conditions.  She’s only been with one other man, so the prospect of watching her with another is exciting for me.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

On 2/21/2022 at 7:24 PM, Essex27 said:

Wife and I would talk about it during sex and it would get us off in a good way.  Then 7 years later she asked me point blank  if I would have a threesome or foursome and the word “yes” shockingly came out of my mouth.  She was shocked as well but didn’t say much until a few years later we took a sex quiz together and she revealed she was open to it. 
the problem is actually going through with it and how to find a couple that would be willing to deal with newbies.  However if we never do it I still think it’s nice that we are on the same page.

Similar to your story, my wife was the person who suggested to me the ides of meeting another people for sex. Earnest swinger couples have no problem about meeting newbies. When my wife and I started we went to swing club parties. If you go the way of making a profile at a hook-up Web site like SLS or SCZ, just be aware that a lot of foolishness goes on with those sites. But if you persist, the result is well worth the effort. 

 

[njbm 2,868]

15 hours ago, SW_PA_Couple said:

Similar to your story, my wife was the person who suggested to me the ides of meeting another people for sex. Earnest swinger couples have no problem about meeting newbies. When my wife and I started we went to swing club parties. If you go the way of making a profile at a hook-up Web site like SLS or SCZ, just be aware that a lot of foolishness goes on with those sites. But if you persist, the result is well worth the effort. 

 

Apropos your comment, I just saw a tag line on SLS that said “ We are looking to play, not get played.”

[couplers 4,614]

On 10/3/2019 at 5:03 AM, 1hotminute said:

I am here because I am interested in swinging. My wife is not as she has said when I ask.

Don't ask her about swinging, just tell her that you unconditionally love her, will be faithful to her, and that she can have a boyfriend or two.  Make it clear that she can have sex with whomever she wants, whenever she wants, wherever she wants (including your home), however she wants (you there or not there, telling you details or not, no act is off limits).  Then keep your promise, don't pester her, nag, or criticize her.  She more likely to wade into the lifestyle if it is on her terms at her pace.  Your reward will come.  For two years my husband let me have a boyfriend (and I tried one other guy on the side) before I was comfortable letting him play.  It has to be about her pleasure and fulfillment, not yours.

[Hiimnew 10]

My wife. She is bisexual and has a really different way in receiving sex and relationships. 

 

Our marriage isn't the end all or be all. We can have other relationships that are just as important as our marriage  including non-sexual ones such as parents or siblings.

 

We both find other people attractive and wouldn't mind playing with others together.

 

It's unfair to expect one person to fulfill all our needs.

[herpob 563]

On 2/22/2022 at 11:54 PM, Funlatincouple said:

Same here, close friends >12 years now. They asked us. Took my wife probably 6 months after that point to finally agree but patience is key. We started a private group chat among us, where everyone was encouraged to speak freely. The girls talked more in depth over DM, versus in person. Over that time EVERYTHING was discussed. Just took my wife time. I supported and encouraged her the whole time. One day it finally happen. Best night. 4 1/2 later, we’re all still playing. 

 

I love the open chatting with the other couple. GREAT idea to test the waters with others. We have a few newbies wanting to join our group but not certain the dynamics are there so we do take our time to vet them. We have always done it live but I like that private chat room with another couple where you talk openly about things you are interested in, where you hope things will lead, your goals, insights, hopes, fantasies that you may or may not hope become a reality. 

[SheernylonCpl 38]

Helen here and we are both second generation swingers