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JustAskJulie

How long have you been thinking about/discussing swinging?

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Hey kids

Believe it or not, my bride and I have only been discussing the Lifestyle for maybe six weeks. The lead up time now, that took years. Not because of communication like you might think, it was health issues. She is an eight year survivor of Breast Cancer and she is pretty much just getting back to feeling good.

I went shopping for some really sexxxy bodyware for her and we started talking. No drama, no questioning loyalty. Just "Yeah, that would be cool." and down the road we go.

We've met a compatible couple with a lot of our same intrests and we are busy planning a visit to the Estate in the very near future.

I gotta admit, my best friend is the coolest ever.

 

Bless

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We've been discussing it for over five years. And as we posted in another thread, our first experience sent us running but we have talked about it still all this time and have decided to take another look into it. This sight has been a very helpful and positive place for us both!

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Hi one and all....My wife and I have been discussing in detail the thought and have yet to act on it. We have several friends in the lifestyle (I think)!

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We actually acted on it several years ago and attended two swinger weekends. I thoroughly enjoyed it but my wife, not so much. Haven't been back since. Still talk about it. She says "Maybe some time."

Cinden

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Has your wife expressed her reservations to you. Sometimes, overcoming the reluctance to open up requires patience on your part.

 

I would possibly think the two of you are not open with each other on this topic and other topics of living together.

 

Do you run the family, and she is only the cook?

 

Do you raise your voice and does that offend your wife?

 

Are you pained when your wife cries. Do you know what to do when she cries?

 

Do you know there is a benefit of crying for especially a woman?

 

What is the last thing a woman will get angry about when she comes home from a hard days work. She might ask you to please listen and as she gets into her story about her snotty female bitch of a supervisor, she begins to cry.

 

What do you usually do? Offer to go to her workplace and smash her supervisor's face in?

 

What response would please your wife?

 

Did you know she only wants you to listen?

 

Men are fixers. This fixing ends when the SO woman is crying.

 

Don't get bored. Your job is to listen and even you might say only this: "and how did you feel when she said this demeaning comment?"

 

Notice what the key word is: FEEL.

 

Women are deeply feeling.

 

They will ask a lover or husband to understand them by keeping their mouth shut and not try to fix them.

 

In every case, I know of in failures of mutual open marriage, someone is being ignored. The fun of sexual play is 2nd and never will occur if one spouse downs the other spouse, and does not know how to listen.

 

All marital strife represents a lack of communication between two spouses or two SOs.

 

The nature of life today with subprime debacles shutting down financial institutions and closing factories and jobs will cause more strife in the lives of lovers.

 

I would recommend give up the alcohol. Alcohol and anger produces battered wives and abused children. A man on alcohol is a threat to a spouse. When men wake up, they do not remember what they said or did to their sweetheart.

 

Do a complete inventory of life at home and work on improving this life.

 

Then you might find your spouse wants to play with you at that swing place. She might say "I need your help, and I do this because I love you. Please take care of me."

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Has your wife expressed her reservations to you. Sometimes, overcoming the reluctance to open up requires patience on your part.

 

I would possibly think the two of you are not open with each other on this topic and other topics of living together.

 

Do you run the family, and she is only the cook?

 

Do you raise your voice and does that offend your wife?

 

Are you pained when your wife cries. Do you know what to do when she cries?

 

Do you know there is a benefit of crying for especially a woman?

 

What is the last thing a woman will get angry about when she comes home from a hard days work. She might ask you to please listen and as she gets into her story about her snotty female bitch of a supervisor, she begins to cry.

 

What do you usually do? Offer to go to her workplace and smash her supervisor's face in?

 

What response would please your wife?

 

Did you know she only wants you to listen?

 

Men are fixers. This fixing ends when the SO woman is crying.

 

Don't get bored. Your job is to listen and even you might say only this: "and how did you feel when she said this demeaning comment?"

 

Notice what the key word is: FEEL.

 

Women are deeply feeling.

 

They will ask a lover or husband to understand them by keeping their mouth shut and not try to fix them.

 

In every case, I know of in failures of mutual open marriage, someone is being ignored. The fun of sexual play is 2nd and never will occur if one spouse downs the other spouse, and does not know how to listen.

 

All marital strife represents a lack of communication between two spouses or two SOs.

 

The nature of life today with subprime debacles shutting down financial institutions and closing factories and jobs will cause more strife in the lives of lovers.

 

I would recommend give up the alcohol. Alcohol and anger produces battered wives and abused children. A man on alcohol is a threat to a spouse. When men wake up, they do not remember what they said or did to their sweetheart.

 

Do a complete inventory of life at home and work on improving this life.

 

Then you might find your spouse wants to play with you at that swing place. She might say "I need your help, and I do this because I love you. Please take care of me."

 

Wow. Simply WOW. This majorly hit home for me on many levels............almost to the verge of tears. Thanks for this post xray. ((bookmarked))

 

- Daddy

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Wow. Simply WOW. This majorly hit home for me on many levels............almost to the verge of tears. Thanks for this post xray. ((bookmarked))

 

- Daddy

 

Daddy... I love you *big ginormous hug*:kissface:

 

~ Babygirl

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We have been married nearly 15 years and are seriously thinking of going full swap at this point. We have some soft swap situations within the past several months and into last year. We are taking it slow, just laying down our ground rules at this point, but it is something that we will pursue this summer. Just a little shy to jump right in. We can openly talk about swinging at any time during the day, which is a big step from just a few months back. We even joke about it and have fun thinking about who may already be in the lifestyle that we know. The information we get from this site is the reason we are comfortable to move forward with living out our fantasies. We have a really strong marriage with nothing to hide from each other and I think that is the key to start with.

 

Mr and Mrs Wildfire

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I bought the "Open Marriage" book & handed it to my my bride of several months and she threw it back in my face. So I have enjoyed couple dates with another woman until she moved up to Seattle. Joined a Swing club & enjoyed a couple Flings and was invited to a Orgy to replace a hubby for the evening.

Later on I CAME OUT to my wife & the air turned BLUE. Have not done anything with women since but haven't had any FUN either except once in awhile with wife.

Now I'm 70 yrs old & my doctor says I'm in Tip Top condition with my "New" Penile Implant. Just have to use it!

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Well we have discussed it several times. I think I am the one more interested, but you never know!!!

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My girl and I have been together 8 years and have been discussing it for about 1 year. She was raised conservative and is afraid to try but I think she wants to. Right now we're just talking about it and I'm trying to get her used to the idea.

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We began exploring the possibility in earnest a couple of weeks ago, and we had mentioned it mainly in a fantasy-type situation off and on through the years. We also thought about a threesome with a friend about 3 years ago (it didn't happen).

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We've talked about the subject for about three years! I guess we're slow to warm to the idea. Just tiptoeing in right now, but the anticipation is really getting to me!

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I would say joked about it for 10 yrs and the post to daddy would have been us back then. We barely new each other when we jumped into marriage and kids, now after all these years and the challenges we have gone through that we are very secure in our marriage but I never take that for granted either. We are talking about it more and more...hence our reason for joining the site.

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Theres a problem in swinging. For the male, it's sex; for the female, it's love - most of the time. Exceptions apply but girls tend to fall in love with their sex partners. Correct me if I'm wrong but we've done it.

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probably a week or two. i had been thinking about contacting guys from the net for dates but once i did it just felt sleazy. after sex i blurted out that i thought we should swing. my husband was shocked but the next day he brought it up. i was uncomforable because i thought he was going to think i wanted to cheat on him. he said swinging was a great idea and i feel very comfortable fantasizing and looking into it because hubby and i are on the same page

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I, (male) used to swing as a single guy prior to us being a couple and introduced my wife to the lifestyle, we've been talking about it for the last three years, and became active in the lifestyle in the last two years....

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We have been married for 3 years, together for 10. We started lightly joking about swinging shortly after we got married and have been seriously considering it for about a year now.

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My wife and I never really discussed the subject of "swinging" before, but we have had another couple we were freinds with with we would party together and it usually ended up in everybody getting naked and some light petting in the swaping of partners. She was raised very conservative and has a hard time just letting it all hang out, but I know she would like to, but just can't let go. About three years ago I found a swinger bar on the internet and we went to it and had a great time, everybody was extremly nice and not pushy at all. Then about our third time there we discovered the swap room and we just sat in there a few minutes and watched. She got a little freaked out when I tried to play with her and her only in the room and left. Over time she has slowly got to the point where she will go in the room and give it all to me and get totally nude in front of others without any issues. We have not fully swapped yet, but I really want to explore thsi feeling but only with her around. I would love for her to continue to get a little more into it each time. I am taking my time and she is really enjoying it and it has meant alot to the way I am toward our marriage. I am so wrapped up in her now, because by her doing this it is really turning me on towards her. The further she goes the more turned on I become and I can't stop thinking how great and sexy she is. I hope in another year or so, she will be more into than I am. I hope someone can give me some additional pointers on how to get her to continue on the way things are going, without me going to far to where she gets uncomfortable. otally feel we both enjoy this lifestyle and we jsut rarely talk about it unless we are at the club. The show Swingtown has helped, she loves that show and some fo the comments mode on it have led us into some great conversation about swapping isn't cheating because you do not lie to your partner. I am taking it slow with baby steps and I jsut hope I dmess don't mess up when I wwant to slowly go to the next step. any advise would be greatly appreciated

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i'm a single gal, but i learned about it maybe 6 years ago and it always intrigued me. A couple years ago I started reading swinger erotica, and it's my fav! For the past year I've been thinking about it playfully and fantasizing about it, and for the past month I've been really seriously considering. It would be nice to enter in with a partner, but who's to stay that opportunity will ever come along?

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2 months now...we've been discussing it and exactly what we want to do...just haven't made the big plunge yet. Hopefully, surfing this site might help.

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Several months ago, while in a committed relationship, my SO brought up the idea of bringing in a woman for a threesum. It took me a couple of weeks to even consider the idea. I had all the emotions/questions/concerns that many women have. Why does he want another woman in our lives? Does he just want to screw other woman and feels this is the best way so I don't get upset? and on & on.

 

Once I agreed (after long discussions on the subject) we joined AFF. We met a couple of gals with nothing happening. I just couldn't make that finally leap. We went to a lifestyle party and had a blast. There was some soft swapping but we went home alone that night. After that we didn't follow up too much and the relationship started to have some problems. Not related to swinging but life in general.

 

After the end of the relationship I decided I was not up for finding someone new but I didn't want to sit out for the next while either. I joined AFF as a single female looking for friends & playmates. One thing I have found is I really enjoy being with a female. I don't consider myself Bi as I want to have a man as part of the equation in any play with a female and I know I couldn't have a relationship with a woman alone. I guess maybe Bi-situational is what describes me best.

 

The bottom line is I am enjoying myself, meeting some really great people, and having a wonderful time exploring my sexual needs & desires.

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I've had a very simular experience. My partner wanted to bring in another man and have a threesome. Our relationship had never been a strong one so I agreed to try. As it turned out it worked great for both of us. We made freinds and although I've never had the oppertunity to join a group and perticipate in a group, I've partied with my freinds who are swingers. They are the ones who have give me the courage to try new things. So here I am I've joined a group and glad I did.....

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I'm in a committed relationship with my new girlfriend of several months, told her that I am into swinging and I love meeting new people not just for the sex but the friendship. as we talk she told me that she has fantase about going swinging after she read about it in a mag and she was really turn on by the whole thing. I find it nice to to talk it over an enter it with your partner if you are in a trusting and loving relationship. my partner love to see me with other woman in fact she lets me go to parties on my own and come back and tell her all about it which also turn her on.

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Fresh and I have been discussing this since shortly after we got together, and we're coming up on our 3 year anniversary. I'm a little older and went through my "sexual revolution" right before I met Fresh, so I had quite a few notches on my belt and experience badges on my chest. Fresh had just begun his exploration when we met and I told him that I wanted him to be able to have the opportunity to continue to explore maybe 6 months into the realationship. We may have waited a little too long, though, because the years of monogamy have made me "comfortable" and now I'm a little nervous. I'm true to my word, however, and honestly believe that denying my relatively young boyfriend the same chances I had would hinder us in the long run. Besides, I never got to share with couples! My group moments were limited to threesomes with other singles.

 

Swinging would be really good for us, because we'll be sharing experiences new to BOTH of us! I decided to join a community/message board, though, to help me get past my "comfort" zone. I'm sure Fresh will be posting ocassionally, too.

 

~Cream

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We have discussed it since our first date over three years ago. She brought it up. Since that date, we have married (two years ago) and still discuss it rather frequently. We are both independently researching the internet, although her job is very demanding. We seem to share the same information as it pertains to us. If it happens that will be great. If not, we will have not found the right situation for us. We are learning about the various clubs, will probably go that route for our first exposure.

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Tried a threesome once with first wife; she was willing, he couldn't perform. With second wife, she found it totally objectionable even to discuss the idea ... seems to have been the straw that ended our relationship. Now, with a much younger lady friend, the idea of a threesome is mutually interesting.

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How long have you been thinking about wanting to swing and/or discussing it with your SO?

 

Hello all,

 

 

well my husband and I have always had the typical fantasies that most couples have such as, ( quiet time alone on the beach, making love in the rain, etc), but up until about 3 months ago, we were talking and we finally just came out to each other that we would like to dab in having sex with other people. we also considered just being voyeurs but our sex drives are too high to just sit back and watch.:blush:

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How long have you been thinking about wanting to swing and/or discussing it with your SO?

 

When we first started we discussed it quite a bit. When we talked about swinging we both got hot. We really got started when we went over to friends house. He was single and good looking. While we were at his place my wife would watch him.When we left his place I asked her if she had the hots for him, and she said yes. I told her that if she wanted to and she got the chance to take advantage of the situation. She asked me if I had lost my mind. I reassured her that I hadn't and that I was okay with it.

 

A couple of weeks later she got the chance and had a good time. When I got home from work she told me all about what they had done. I was so hot form what she told me we went right to the bedroom. After that we had several threesomes with him. A couple of years later he got married and then moved to Seattle. We have had a great time in the lifestyle and have met many very good friends. We love the lifestyle and wouldn't change a thing.

 

GoshenCouple

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I am always talking about swinging to people who are likeminded like myself. If you are honest to your other half about sex and the things you like and don't like including things you both would like to try then your ralationship will be good and no one will cheet on the other. well I am single easy going slim young looking mature black guy who live in Birmingham England, I get lots of invite from couples asking for service because the woman want to have sex with a mature black guy. some-times i am invited for 3 sums, gang bang's and parties or just to come the family home or to a hotel for sex with the woman. Well if any couples or woman in England or wales would like to get in touch please email me: deothenrp@yahoo.co.uk

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We've discussed it for a long time, but only recently got serious about it. We talked about it in the beginning of our relationship and I told him it was something that interested me, but that I wasn't sure I could actually go through with it. My husband has never pushed me, and always said "Maybe someday, if you ever decide you want too". I'm the one that has recently been pushing it. My husband is letting me sort of control everything because he has previous threesome experience in the past, and doesn't want me to feel pressured into anything.

 

Lately he's been a little nervous about why i'm so into it, lol! He said he wasn't expecting me to get so excited about this.

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We talked about it a couple years ago, tried to hook up with a group of people for a "Meet n Greet", but that never worked out. Moved to present location in 2007 & hosted a few "Meet n Greets" at our home. Joined the local swinger's group & went to several parties there, but we just played around with ourselves in the pool. Nothing much else went on.

 

Just got back from Vegas & had plans on going to Red Rooster, but other things happened & couldn't make it there. Oh well, we will continue to try be open to the possiblity & keep our options open.

 

M n Pure

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My wife and I have been friends with another couple for three years who are in the lifesyle. We have been playing with the idea since.

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My husband and I have been talking about this for prob the last 10 years. Ive just been alittle scared ( still am alittle ) We talk about doing it everytime we fuck. I get so excited it hurts. I am to the point now where I have to try it! The thought of watching another man fuck me just tears him up and watching another woman pleasure him at the same time soaks my panties everytime I think about it. He is out of town this week and last night on the phone he said he really wanted me to try licking another womans pussy. I wasnt sure about it at first but he said he would help me lick her to get me started. The longer I thought about it the wetter I got. We are very faithful to each other. We have been married for 18+ years and have only been with each other through those years. We have always been very honest about the things that turn us on and love talking about it, but now I just want to do it!!!!!

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My husband and I talked about it 3 years ago and he is not interested, I am. I am still looking around at the swing Idea.

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I have been interested in the lifestyle for about 8 years but never acted on it or discussed it with her. We have talked a little about it for the last 6 month but nothing serious. I'm the curious one and she is shy. Reading the forum here and on other sites really help me to understand the lifestyle better.

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I Crazi have wanted to get into the lifestyle as long as I can remember. 25 years at least. When I first me Red we hit it off great and it seemed like she would go for this life style. But in the last 17 years we have become very best friends but not lovers. She says she sees me more as a brother than a lover. I kept pursuing her because I knew she really loved sex and would never be a 1 man woman. I talked to her about this many times but to no good results. Finally 2 years ago things worked out again for us to try. We discussed this life style and I showed her this website along with others.It was rough at times. Then her daughter caught her in one of the swinger sites so this all ended. This was the time we realized I had ED. With her sex drive she started looking for sex else where. She sneaked around for awhile till I finally confronted her. I finally got her to talk some and also come back on here. She was unsure but interested. She had gotten a fairly regular boyfriend at this time. We went to a 4 wheeling event on Saturday and had a great time. Then Saturday night she went out with her boyfriend. Then Sunday when she came home I told her just thinking about her being with another man really excited me. She couldn't hardly believe it. I ended up eating her out for as long as we had time for. It was great and I loved the taste of another man in her. She admitted she couldn't believe I would feel this way. We have done some more talking and she is all game to try this out. She really wants a bi experience and has talked to a Bi co worker about the 3 of us getting together. Thats not going to happen for at least another month till after this lady recovers from getting her tubes tied in a couple weeks. We have talked about doing one of the local clubs but both are unsure on that. Some one on here mention in another thread that they went to a club just to play together and see what happens so right now thats where we are at. Now her teenage daughter is fully aware of all this and tells her to go for it. Along with one of her old boy toys that is disabled at this time. Him and Red have had some wild times in the past and hopefully when he is better we all can get together. Her current boyfriend isn't interested in the life style but I told her to do what she wants with him as long as I get to play some when she come home. Now as long as I don't piss her off saying all this. But this seems a way for us to communicate. Since Our life styles clash so badly.

Love You Red :cunny::cunny:

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Guest warrencouple

Well, the Mrs and I just started discussing this late last week, took me most of the week to finally get the nerve up to even bring it up...

 

We've been discussing it pretty much daily, and she decided to set a date for us to go to an off-premise club, the Friday after Thanksgiving. Close enough to home so we can simply head home. We've been discussing our feelings, and what we will have for limits, and rules for now. She's not had any fantasies such as MFM, or FFM (no bi in her), which is fine by me, i can live with that. OTOH, simply discussing some fantasies (she came up with having another woman helping with a blow-job), has gotten both of us incredibly hot...

 

Leading to part of what I was looking for, a spiced up sex life. I'm doing my d**ndest to not push her into anything. We've decided that we're going to do a couple things at the off-premise:

  1. Stay the entire time, unless we're really having a crappy time
  2. Not expect anything, but not actively avoid anything
  3. Participate in the "ice-breakers," get out and dance some

 

Right now, we've decided at most, we're up to (maybe, possibly) same room sex with another couple (we'd be a solid "tame" on SLS) and nothing more.

 

Mr

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we have been playing for about 18 yrs. I have brought up wanting her to be with other men also the whole time.But now for the last year we can atleast talk about it.She is now interested

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Penile Implant: I know about this. does it work and do you have feeling, like the good times.

 

My doctor wanted $20,000 for a new penis. I would not have any feeling, except see the woman I might be with my stay instead of exiting the scene for someone else.

 

Since I live alone, I don't have someone to get into swinging.

 

I bet a day does not go by that I don't wish I had a 20+ yro with cleavage available for me to love. I don't screw much anymore. Available Young ladies are still 11 years younger.

 

What I do is the elaborate use of specialty toys, finger or hands on clitoris, cunninlingus, start with massages until she is wet. (It was a surprise, some old women get wet, but I think they are cheating with KY jelly)

 

When I am lucky to get a young woman, I ask her to please howl. The howl of a woman having her orgasm is a beautiful sound.

 

Then I ask the 11 yrs back woman I just energized to find a young woman. I would call that a referal.

 

Does any one remember Vietnam. Many of my buddies were damaged for life. We are just fading away.

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