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JustAskJulie

Are you totally new to swinging or do you have experience?

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I've been involved for about 6 years. Started out as a single woman, then a couple for a year, then single again, now again as a couple for the last 2.5 years. He had some interest in it and had joined the yahoo group that I was running. He and I had gone to high school together and I'd had a crush on him way back then. We've been together since and swinging from the start. We took it very slow for the first year while we built our relationship and really did nothing more than run around naked at our pool parties and some very mild flirting. We have progressed to a full swap couple, although technically I don't know if you could say that as I've never actually been penetrated by another man LOL Not for lack of trying...it just seems like it never gets that far for one reason or another. We've not had very many playmates because it seems like either we're interested in the girl, but not the guy or I'm interested in the guy but not the girl and we're not willing to "take one for the team".

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My husband and I are just exploring but very excited about the possibilities of swinging any suggestions? We want to try alot of things group sex, 1 on 1, 2on 1, watching each other with another person. we are very down to earth and would like to meet people who we can feel comfortable around and more experienced to teach us. Well thats a start any ideas?

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no never swang before is that the term? lol We just love each other and want to fulfill our fantasy's

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I have experiences (together with my wife) in this lifestyle. Hope I can make a contribution. Seems like a good site.

 

OTT

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we been into it about 15yr, started by meeting a cpl on a nude beach where our cruies ship stop, and they were on same ship so things went from there

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Julie,

I still sometimes feel totally new even tho we have had many experiences this past year, we have only had 2 couples experiences that were really great! The others were MFM. We both enjoy bi experiences and are looking towards persons interested in the same sex partners as well, but we also love the excitement of different bodies beside us, we do like to watch also!

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Well Kiba and I are pretty new to the lifestyle but have had some experiences. In my previous relationship I was a swinger and Kiba was just a regular vanilla friend of mine (I wasn't swinging when I first met him). We had eventually lost contact and then by a stroke of luck found each other again, and I had just joined the lifestyle (I've had 2 FMF's and 1 MFM before Kiba). Well long story short, he turned into a playmate :facelick: Now Him and I have had that previous experience with my ex and 1 FMF and just recently found quite a nice gentleman who we hope will make our first MFM as a couple :D

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i guess i would be considered new to swinging. my ex-wife and i have done a few things with others but not much at all. she introduced me to it and i like ever since. btu now she is gone and i still want the experience so here i am.

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We started ever so cautiously about two years ago. She was quite nervous and I'm sure doing it just to fulfill my fantasy. I had brought it up occasionally for years but while it sometimes made her hot to talk about it, she viewed it as something that should remain a fantasy.

I must say I was a little surprised she made it as far as the hotel bar for a few drinks with the gentlemen we'd selected. I thought my beautiful little scaredy-cat would chicken out, but we actually made it up to the room as three. We had decided at the outset that a MFM was the way for us to break the ice but honestly my primary interest was in watching her. Can't even remember how things got started, but do know it was very gentle and tender. And then the amazing happened (I'd guess others have experienced this).....as soon as she began to give him oral she turned into the natural. It was so beautiful. They spent a little time together as I watched, almost numb, so surreal....it was like the most amazing film noir I could imagine. I didn't want to intrude for a bit. Then she was riding him slowly and all of a sudden I could no longer resist the urge to touch her, kiss her neck and back, then her bottom. As I came back up she must've made some gesture that I didn't quite catch, and he said softly...."I think she wants you inside her too." She could only moan...."yes...." As I moved to slide into her gently for anal, she slid down a bit to take him back in her mouth. Enjoying both of us that way took her over the top to say the least. Afterwards I went back to the role of observer for awhile. The guy was very nice that evening, but ended up sort've losing his steam a little too soon . Nonetheless it was a very positive first experience. We had amazing sex after he left, then laughed together the rest of the night and most of the next day over how she had resisted, then been so nervous, only to discover that as soon as she got started she loved it.

 

We were excited to explore this new territory together, but I think in my effort to avoid making her feel like I was dictating what we'd do, I ended up giving her too much room at the wrong time. Our sex life was still very hot after 20+ years together (blessed we are), but clearly this experience had opened her up in new ways. She had also been dealing with some difficult issues with her mother (the long term effects of a family tragedy) and had recently been seeking some escape. I didn't want to put the hammer down on her pleasure or newfound sexual freedom, so I was ok with her talking on the phone to her new "friend", or having lunch with him. He was good on the phone and in e-mail , and she developed quite a crush on the guy, and he with her. Nothing else happened after that first time, but it was about to when I began to get the jist of things. As you might imagine, the fallout was very rough. We made it through though, I'm sure because we both recognized that our marriage had long been one of the very special ones. I think with most women I've known, it would've been a struggle to ever trust them again, but...well, you'd have to know her. She is indeed quite special. I was sure she'd been faithful prior to this and I was sure she'd been confused and made a big mistake. I made some too.

 

Anyway, we've dabbled off and on since then with no ill effects. I do trust her now, as I always had before. Communication and respect are keys.

 

Hey Julie....Thanks for this place.

 

Tom

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It has been very interesting reading everyone's forays into the lifestyle. Since I'm new here (but not to online forums, which I've spent too much time in for too many years) I make it a habit to read a couple threads start to finish before posting and this was one of the ones I picked (for obvious reasons.)

 

I have a bizarre story about my "entry" into swinging. About twelve years ago I was with a girl who was amazing in the sack. She was into ANYTHING, in ANY opening. She had one bizarre hangup, though. On a BBS system (the precursor to modern forums like this one) we had met a swinging couple who were being attacked for their lifestyle. This young lady, "P," and I were defending them from the right wing gasbag that was trying to trash them when I posted, "... and if you're ever in Washington state, look us up. We'll swing with you."

 

P detonated. I have to admit that I was a little taken aback that the same woman that once blew me in a Safeway parking lot at 2:30pm would flip out the way she did. It wasn't the end of our relationship, but that came not long after. (Honestly, I don't think this really had much to do with it. There were a lot of other issues I'm not interested in going into here.)

 

Her reaction sort of stuck in my head. Fast forward about eight months, and I've decided to join the Armed Forces. (By the way, when I talk about "right wing gas bags," please note that I am a proudly Conservative Libertarian with Republican leanings. I make no apology for this fact.) I met the lady who eventually becomes my wife, "A."

 

A describes herself as "polyamorous" when I meet her. Within four months we are engaged and a month and half later we are married. "One man, one woman."

 

Unfortunately, the military sent me to a frozen rock for the first two years of our marriage, and neither of us had a lot of fun. I volunteered to go to a restricted duty assignment to get her out of our predicament, and she went home to Boston for a year while I shivered.

 

I found out later on that several of her friends put bugs in her ear, literally every day, to sleep around on me. (Most of her friends from school are proudly socialist, and the idea of her marrying a "babykiller" offended them for some reason. She has not really ever forgiven them for that.) Eventually, she cracked under the pressure and fucked a groomsman at a wedding.

 

I knew nothing about this at the time. I came back to the states in 2001 and we got back together, which was difficult for us both after the first posting together and the second, when we were apart. I had also picked up a new career goal and a new life goal.

 

Perhaps I focused too much on that, because in February of 2002 she went to another wedding and fucked another groomsman. (What IS it about weddings that makes women so damn horny all the time?)

 

So, anyway, I found out about it not long after, and she eventually came clean about the whole thing. We worked through the problems it caused (mostly the lying and the cheating-- and closely seconded by some hurtful things she wrote about me in emails to the other men, emails I had seen accidentally that flipped my switches like you wouldn't believe.)

 

As time has gone on, I've thought a great deal about the situation and considered that it was only the cheating aspect that bothered me. My wife is very beautiful and does some truly amazing things with her... ANYWAY, the idea of watching her do them to another man-- or to me while another man hammers her into a mattress-- is an instant stiffener to me for some reason. (I'm warped. Fuck it.)

 

When we've been having some fun ourselves I've brought up the idea a few times and she's been interested-- while we're having sex and she's intimately aroused already. I've even had her answer a few questions about her unfaithful moments, whether or not she went down on them, whether they went down on her, etc. Once, she was aroused and ripped the sheets by describing how she sucked Guy A's cock, and once she was almost offended that I'd brought it up.

 

We almost got a threeway going with a male friend of ours when we were stationed in California, but we left before that got going.

 

She told me once that she had, "More regrets over men I haven't slept with than men I have slept with." Hmmm... makes a boy wonder, that does.

 

Anyway, the infidelity has pretty much conquered the idea of jealousy for me. We worked through that all right. Now I'd like to move things to a new level and see what happens. We have been married quite happily for more than ten years, despite a few errors in judgment. She doesn't seem to mind the idea of my fucking another woman at all, judging from a few conversations and situations we've been in. We are now back in Washington state. (Well, I'm back. She's from Boston.)

 

Anyway, that's our story, and I'm sticking to it. We haven't really entered the "lifestyle," but there has been some extra cock in our relationship and we weathered it. Comments and direction will be welcomed. Direct all flames to /dev/null.

 

-K-

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I am totally new to swinging, but am very interested. I am not sure what areas I want to indulge myself in, but definately want to pursue it!

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I'm completely new to swinging and my girl is resistant. I'm the only man shes been with. I think she wants to try it but she's stilltrying to get comfortable with the idea of being with someone else.

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We are very new and would like to share our experiences here.

 

Although we havent done anything with someone yet we are VERY interested. Our first experience at a "Swingers Club" was very exciting indeed. We saw a few in there that REALLY caught our eyes.

 

But we had too many single men approaching us. At one point We had three single men piling ontop of us, (I have a very attractive wife), they were getting pushy with each other and myself; ruining it for us by not making us approachable for other couples. My friend would call them cockblockers. or another term a "Swordfight".

 

We shook them for about 20 minutes (We went into the back and saw the "Swing" and...Well... we just had to try it). We walked around a bit, watched. Got our eyes full. But the goddamn single men just kept coming over. Some were gentlemen, but two of them just didnt get it.

 

We'll have to deal with this later. But it certainly doesn't shake us from what we want to do. We'll probably go back, she had her eyes on "Mister Tall Dark and Large". We're gonna try the other clubs in the area as well. See how it works out there too.

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if your having problems with some guy then tell them your not interested and if they persist tell the host.. that's why we are there... (i help at a local club) we had one party where someone didn't want to complain and later on we had to really deal with a situation with him.. it could have been really bad and wished they would have said something.. so next time tell them no ty and if they don't get the picture then tell the host.. please.

 

We are very new and would like to share our experiences here.

 

Although we havent done anything with someone yet we are VERY interested. Our first experience at a "Swingers Club" was very exciting indeed. We saw a few in there that REALLY caught our eyes.

 

But we had too many single men approaching us. At one point We had three single men piling ontop of us, (I have a very attractive wife), they were getting pushy with each other and myself; ruining it for us by not making us approachable for other couples. My friend would call them cockblockers. or another term a "Swordfight".

 

We shook them for about 20 minutes (We went into the back and saw the "Swing" and...Well... we just had to try it). We walked around a bit, watched. Got our eyes full. But the goddamn single men just kept coming over. Some were gentlemen, but two of them just didnt get it.

 

We'll have to deal with this later. But it certainly doesn't shake us from what we want to do. We'll probably go back, she had her eyes on "Mister Tall Dark and Large". We're gonna try the other clubs in the area as well. See how it works out there too.

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We are totally new to swinging. We have not had any experience. Not sure whether we should visit a club first or try a threesome with a trusted friend who is open to the experience.

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we are not so new to swinging, we have been playing a little over 3 years. Prior to that we talked about it for a couple years before we did anything. Up until April of this year Mr. was full swap and I was only soft. (Try finding a couple that wants to play with that mess HA!) Now we are full swing and we love it. When we first started we were on AFF and a single female (unicorn if you please) found us and our first experience was FFM. From there we went to clubs and met some couples on SLS, the rest as they say is history.

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We have had some MFM and FMF get together but never had a swape with another couple we are loking forward to this. If you are a couple in the East Texas area let us here from you we can't wait.

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Yes, I have past experience with a 2-3 women and then was invited to a Orgy as a Standin for a Absentee hubby. My wife has had no experience at all & at present isn't interested.

Need to work on this.

Meanwhile I'm ready to swing with others. What do you suggest?

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Yes, I have past experience with a 2-3 women and then was invited to a Orgy as a Standin for a Absentee hubby. My wife has had no experience at all & at present isn't interested.

Need to work on this.

Meanwhile I'm ready to swing with others. What do you suggest?

 

that you talk to your wife and not do anything without her knowledge AND consent.

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wife and I are experienced if you call it that we swing with friends often now for like 6 years. two couples we know. it is wonderful to share sex. we started with them asking us to try swing fun as they already did another couple and said it was wonderful to share. my wife took like 1 year to relax to let it happen and once it did she loved it. she was a sexually shy lady but after her first swing she loved it and we do it now with the ladies planning the evenings and outtings. The ladies love it more it seems than us guys and we are lusting it.. lol Fundove2@aol.com would love to email you some

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our first experience at a club was in florida during a winter break from the NE winters. Wife and I visited the club and after a few hours of socializing we went to a couples only room and she was amaized at watcing two other couples do sex swinging. She masturbated me off and one of the other males finished with his female and he had sex with my wife which got me going excited again. His wife masturbated me and we all enjoyed the time together. We see that same couple often now and love them. it is wonderful to share intimate contact fundove2@aol.com email me if you like to chat about it some

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We are completely new to swinging. We have been married for 16 years and dated for 4 years before that. I have never been with anyone else and neither has she been with anyone else in out entire lives. Currently, she is trying to find herself and looking to see if we are / can be part of the lifestyle.

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Hi, my wife and I are new to this. We have an ongoing relationship with my best friend. He and I are straight, but we both really enjoy my wife, she is gorgeous. We find it very difficult to find the right people or person, and of course time away from the kids is always an issue. Hope to get to know some nice people here.

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Brand spanking new!! We're in the early discussion/learning stage - planning to take it nice and slow.

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we are absolutely new to this, my wife has made a few comments over time and I am interested, I dont know how to bring it up casually again without it sounding like Im unhappy in our relationship so I am just researching so to say.

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Experienced here: we have been together for 12 years [10th Wedding anniversary this year]... our third date was a threesome ::P:

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We have been in the lifestyle as a couple for a few years now. We have our membership on SLS, and have met a few couples. We've had a great night with a wonderfully sexy couple. This was my husbands first experience in the lifestyle, mine was about 11 years ago. We have always had good communications and talking about our experiences have helped us understand our likes and dislikes of our sex lives and the lifestyle.

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Brand new like...I am kind of like Rudrjunk's wife. Trying to find myself and lately had a sensual awakening within me. We both have had an interest, dh more way back when but now we have taken it to the next level and here I/We are looking for advice and information on we should know.

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New - but have done it a couple of times MFM, but soft sex. She wasn't ready to take his manhood inside just yet but boy did she get off by his handy work. She drops in to the idea and then out again. Right now, she won't discuss it.

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This lifestyle is all new to me. But for the longest time I have wondered what it would be like to participate in these activities. It is a curiosity that I can no longer ignore. I want to experience new and exciting encounters with new friends that can show me the way. So I bought a ticket and I am taking that ride to Swing Town!

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completely new to this. we would like to have intercourse with others and i would like to try going bi for a night. its embarrassing but i'm not really sure how lesbian sex works. i just want to give massages and do oral

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This lifestyle is all new to me. But for the longest time I have wondered what it would be like to participate in these activities. It is a curiosity that I can no longer ignore. I want to experience new and exciting encounters with new friends that can show me the way. So I bought a ticket and I am taking that ride to Swing Town!

 

Are you a couple or just by yourself? We're a couple who just got into this too. We're just worried some nuts will try to do something crazy to us.

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At the age of 18 I met an open couple through a sports team I coached. They had kids and appeared to be a loving and happy home. I was un aware that they had an open marriage. They sat me down to what I thought was a dinner to set me up with a girl that went to a rival school. I was in between girlfriends and they always asked me about who I was or if I was ever seeing anyone. After a couple drinks conversation began to be sexually charged but light and innocent in nature. They told us what they were about and we began to ask questions. I was nervous but they were relaxing and very eager to make me feel comfortable with the situation. We all agreed upon rules and guidelines. the experience opened me to swinging and I have had 2 other open relationships that only ended over distance, never the swinging. I think its great to be open and we as humans have a natural sexual instinct. I feel that swinging is a positive addition to my life. I am single at the moment. However open to finding other swinger couples as well as other swinger females.

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My wife and I are so new that we've never even tried it, but I know for a fact that the wife is now interested. I know she's still a bit shy because she's not quite at the weight she wants to be for some thing like this, but the time will come.

 

I just need to research more info (and this is an excellent place to start) so we both know how to do this carefully.

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I understand about your wife's insecurity about her body. I used to be very fit, in fact I have even competed in local body building contests at one time, but for the last few years have packed on about 20 lbs. It is funny though, that does not seem to be a factor in the pleasure that we have experienced with others. We usually meet our players at bars though and I wanted to try this to get a wider picture of how others work this lifestyle.

 

At first I felt very uncertain about this even though my sex drive is higher than that of my partner, he enjoys watching and that gets him excited and then participates. I did not feel that I was the picture of a swinger, but really what does that picture look like? We like MFM and FMF and couples as well as bi for both.

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My wife and I are so new that we've never even tried it, but I know for a fact that the wife is now interested. I know she's still a bit shy because she's not quite at the weight she wants to be for some thing like this, but the time will come.

 

I just need to research more info (and this is an excellent place to start) so we both know how to do this carefully.

 

Bring her here or print off some threads for her to read. There are quite a few that deal with what she is going through and will show her that she's not alone and if anything swinging can help you get over some of those insecurities.

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I have been in several friends w/ benefits 'relationships', so I'm used to a non-exclusive sex life. One of those was with a sex addict, and I would find with someone new a couple times a week, haha! (He was crazy...but sweet...) And I've had a couple of threesomes with friends. I'm very acquainted with separating sex/attachment/friendship, and don't tend to have jealousy issues. (My friends like to joke I'm a guy in that regard.)

 

But basically I'm totally new to the lifestyle and I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm hoping to have a lot fun, make friends, fulfill fantasies, and really enjoy being alive!

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I'm new, but I've always been intrigued by the lifestyle. I hope to make new friends here.

 

Dale

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Hubby and I are VERY new to the LS. We're taking a trip to Vegas in a couple of weeks and thought it would be fun to venture out and give it a try. I must say, even the idea of doing it has made our sex life at home heat up quite a bit. And we're looking into local places here too. We want to try it - and have decided at least for now, we're soft swingers. We want our first experience to be awesome and not a waste of time or money. how do we begin?

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Hubby and I are VERY new to the LS. We're taking a trip to Vegas in a couple of weeks and thought it would be fun to venture out and give it a try. I must say, even the idea of doing it has made our sex life at home heat up quite a bit. And we're looking into local places here too. We want to try it - and have decided at least for now, we're soft swingers. We want our first experience to be awesome and not a waste of time or money. how do we begin?

 

well for the around here bit.... just find a place on your 'site of choice' and look at the pics and call around some maybe. and just go to see what's what and have a good time meeting people. i'd make sure they know your soft but other then that go and hang out and have fun.... just cus your at a party doesn't mean you have to play. find some place where your comfy at and like the people and you will meet people you will enjoy in the bedroom and out and every time you go out will be fun.

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Beth an I have had one truly unexpected experience. We wrote about it in the first time experiences forum. Briefly it was with dear friends. No suits a hot tub and too much booze... The Sex was hot but the feilings the next day were a little strange.

The sex with Beth and I was so hot for about a month we couldnt keep our hands off each other. I don't mean to ramble, but the swapping of atleast sharing opportunity was THRILLING.

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We are both new to this. We had a couple of drunk AFF cam sessions a year or so ago, and have had some pillow talk ever since. Recently we took the talks off the pillow, and here we are.

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It's been a long time coming. LOL! About 8 years ago, my husband (Matt) and I considered swinging. We started by having a FMF threesome with a girlfriend of mine. Unfortunately, that didn't go well. I was jealous, then she went crazy trying to contact him privately, etc. So, we decided it was best to not go forward, because he already had reservations about my being with another man. Our experience with the girl just confirmed that it wouldn't be pretty.

 

Then, about six months ago, we were talking about sex with our friends. They are into BDSM, considering swinging, and out of nowhere, Matt tells me he would be okay with swinging at this point in our marriage. We talked and talked, but had no idea so many people were into this. We asked around and found a website, went to a club, and it's been all uphill from there!

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congrats on your decision. It's been an interesting life to say the least, Travel, like minded people and lots of sex.......what can be better? Make sure you set good limits and communicate with your partner about changes you want to make. Over time you may want to try different things. Good luck and If you are ever in the DC area...........

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