Are you totally new to swinging or do you have experience?
By
JustAskJulie, in Swingers Talk
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Similar Content
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By lcmim
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/12/magazine/sex-old-age.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
I am 73 my wife is 69. She just sent me this article.
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By intuition897
Mods, if you can find a better forum for this thread, please do move it. I'm not sure where it fits.
I had a brain wave. I've been reading posts by newcomers to the lifestyle and I remember us being there ourselves. It's overwhelming, scary and you feel like a fish out of water. You don't know what's appropriate, what's not, and you have no idea what you should expect. There's such a huge learning curve, and I know it's kind of part of the experience, but still... I have to wonder how many of those monster mistakes could be avoided if couples had some guidance. Do we really need to make the painful mistakes to learn? Or could we still learn without the damage?
Why is there not something like a newbie boot camp? A one-week resort take-over dedicated to getting newbies started out right in the lifestyle? Workshops on such things as club or house party etiquette, how to host a house party, STD protection, "speed dating" for swingers (learning to communicate with your partner), how to read and write a great profile, communication workshops, getting-over-jealousy exercises, body image discussion groups, and maybe a discussion group where sensitive questions can be addressed anonymously (such as about penis size, having a medical condition, or a physical disability). And of course, lots of opportunity to socialize with other newbs and veterans alike.
We learned a lot from a more experienced couple, but we actually had our first full-swap experience with another "virgin" couple like ourselves. And it worked out great! Looking back, though, it's easy to see how many ways it could've gone wrong. Now that we consider ourselves more along the "veteran" end of the spectrum, we know it's important to "give back", and not avoid new couples. We've all been there, and we sure appreciated the guidance.
So what does everyone think? Does that sound like it would be a good idea, or would it be too intimidating?
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By JustAskJulie
There's another thread asking experienced swingers the reasons why they may not want to swing with newbies, the thoughts there led me to this question.
As a newbie looking for your first experience, who are you looking for? Would you rather play with another first timer? Someone with a little experience? Or a couple who is very experienced? And why would you prefer one over the other?
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By AdamInEve
We have read a few posts on this site about getting comfortable with others by easing into things slowly. Perhaps by playing naked games such as strip poker or truth or dare. We think this would be a good way for us as newbies to get comfortable with being naked around others in a sexually charged atmosphere. Perhaps the games could progress over a series of dates from just being naked to touching (erotic massage) to soft swap and hopefully all the way up to full swap. This way it might alleviate a good portion of the jealousy and nervousness that might accompany a first time straight on full swap.
Our question is this. It seems to us this would be a good way to start, but just how many seasoned swingers would actually be interested in answering an ad from a newbie couple that stated this is how they wanted to proceed? Would the more experienced swingers just pass this type of profile by?
Also, how would relatively new swingers, with just a few experiences under their belts respond (if at all) to a profile like this.
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By intuition897
I'm curious to see what everyone's initial experiences were in this respect. Perhaps this has been polled already, but I'll try it again. So did you start out slowly and gradually with much talk, or did you just decide one night, on a lark, to hit a club and the rest was history?
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