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JustAskJulie

Are you totally new to swinging or do you have experience?

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As a couple we are new. DH has never swung; however, in addition to being bi-sexual, I had a MFM threesome with my ex-hubby, and had a FMF (twice) with my 'best girlfriend" and her husband between my divorce and meeting my DH.

DH and I want to swing, I had the idea, but he suggested it first. I am concerned about him being jealous. He has made some jealous comments about my previous expiernces, but he says that will not be an issuse if he is playing also.

I am also concerned about STDs. If I'm playing with strangers, there will be a condom rule. DH says that will limit our swinging possibilites.

DH is concerned about being "found out" due to his job...

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Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

 

We are completely new to swinging. We have always enjoyed the thought of it. We now are willing to give it a try. Any help anyone could provide would be appreciated.

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Hello Everyone.

 

This is my very first post ever on here, my husband and I are very new, and we never had any experiences with anyone. I am very interested in trying this life style. I actually had some encounters before I meet my husband so you can say I’ve already tried it. I am very adventurous and open to change. But the problem is my husband. He is a jealous man and I don’t know how to tell him that I want to try swinging, he has fantasies like FMF but he once told me he can’t imagine another guy touching me. I have been actively reading about the lifestyle and talking to couple on different websites but he doesn’t know that. I love my husband so much and would never want to hurt him, what should I do? I really want to try swinging (it doesn’t have to be full swap) just the idea of being with other people turns me on. I need your help in how should I approach my husband without hurting his feeling. I think once he tries it he’ll enjoy it, I just need to get him to try it first. And I don’t know how, please help…

 

Thanks

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I've been to some swinger parties and enjoyed myself. I plan to keep going to the parties but I would also like to swing with either a single woman or be part of an MFM experience. Whether or not that wish will come true, who knows?

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Hello Everyone.

 

This is my very first post ever on here, my husband and I are very new, and we never had any experiences with anyone. I am very interested in trying this life style. I actually had some encounters before I meet my husband so you can say I’ve already tried it. I am very adventurous and open to change. But the problem is my husband. He is a jealous man and I don’t know how to tell him that I want to try swinging, he has fantasies like FMF but he once told me he can’t imagine another guy touching me. I have been actively reading about the lifestyle and talking to couple on different websites but he doesn’t know that. I love my husband so much and would never want to hurt him, what should I do? I really want to try swinging (it doesn’t have to be full swap) just the idea of being with other people turns me on. I need your help in how should I approach my husband without hurting his feeling. I think once he tries it he’ll enjoy it, I just need to get him to try it first. And I don’t know how, please help…

 

Thanks

 

I'm a bachelor who plans to stay that way. With that said, I would suggest that you ask him why he does not like the idea of you being touched by another man. Maybe his feelings toward you are proprietary, maybe he just doesn't like to share, I don't know. On the flipside, maybe you could tell him what it is about the swinging lifestyle that turns you on so much. I realize that I have no real experience of what marriage is like, but I hope that this helps, even a little bit. Hopefully, the couples who post here can be of more assistance.

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I'm a bachelor who plans to stay that way. With that said, I would suggest that you ask him why he does not like the idea of you being touched by another man. Maybe his feelings toward you are proprietary, maybe he just doesn't like to share, I don't know. On the flipside, maybe you could tell him what it is about the swinging lifestyle that turns you on so much. I realize that I have no real experience of what marriage is like, but I hope that this helps, even a little bit. Hopefully, the couples who post here can be of more assistance.

 

As a male and married I can say that our swinging began from my desire to see her with w/another man, I am straight and comfortable with mmf , took some time and communication for her to be comfortable with another lady.

Mostly the turn on has evolved into her being with three or four men which she loves and the voyuer in me creates intense ending as I finish herv off so too speak..just adding my two cents

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Hello Everyone.

 

This is my very first post ever on here, my husband and I are very new, and we never had any experiences with anyone. I am very interested in trying this life style. I actually had some encounters before I meet my husband so you can say I’ve already tried it. I am very adventurous and open to change. But the problem is my husband. He is a jealous man and I don’t know how to tell him that I want to try swinging, he has fantasies like FMF but he once told me he can’t imagine another guy touching me. I have been actively reading about the lifestyle and talking to couple on different websites but he doesn’t know that. I love my husband so much and would never want to hurt him, what should I do? I really want to try swinging (it doesn’t have to be full swap) just the idea of being with other people turns me on. I need your help in how should I approach my husband without hurting his feeling. I think once he tries it he’ll enjoy it, I just need to get him to try it first. And I don’t know how, please help…

 

Thanks

Just a thought - start out by playing up his fantasy of FMF - go to a party and let it roll - if he won;t go to a party, maybe you have a friend that would "work with you". I don;t think it's unusual to feel some jealousy but communication between you two is a key - make him feel safe and that you are only going home with him - take a break if need be to reassure him. Go to a party for the two of you & if something happens then it does; if it doesn't, assure him you won't be disappointed because you'll be with him. Sounds like some words of affirmation would go along way here. Let it happen but don;t "make" it happen - no one wants drama.

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Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

 

Brand new and looking forward to gaining experience with my wife and new friends!

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Hello Everyone.

 

This is my very first post ever on here, my husband and I are very new, and we never had any experiences with anyone. I am very interested in trying this life style. I actually had some encounters before I meet my husband so you can say I’ve already tried it. I am very adventurous and open to change. But the problem is my husband. He is a jealous man and I don’t know how to tell him that I want to try swinging, he has fantasies like FMF but he once told me he can’t imagine another guy touching me. I have been actively reading about the lifestyle and talking to couple on different websites but he doesn’t know that. I love my husband so much and would never want to hurt him, what should I do? I really want to try swinging (it doesn’t have to be full swap) just the idea of being with other people turns me on. I need your help in how should I approach my husband without hurting his feeling. I think once he tries it he’ll enjoy it, I just need to get him to try it first. And I don’t know how, please help…

 

Thanks

Sounds like the Mr. is feeling insecure so there's some work to be done to make him feel secure in you & your marriage. Next, since he would be Ok with FMF - explore without making it a contest of why is it Ok for him but not you? Let him know you would be willing to try his fantasy - is turn about fair play? No project is going to be good if you "have to talk him into it". No one wants the drama of a jealousy explosion. Maybe go to About.com/marriage/communication and learn about good dialogue so you can COMMUNICATE. Would you be willing to give up the idea of swinging if the hubby is uncomfortable with it? What's the plan for the 2 of you to get on the same page? If he "doesn't know if he could stand seeing another man touch you", "he's jealous" - Not sure for your basis to say "I think if he tries it; he'll like it" - based on what? Just an opinion, but a lot more communication needs to happen before you venture into swinging - not negotiating or convincing BUT communicating. Think this through !

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I'm not really new, but I haven't had a partner that swung in a long time. The military got in the way of that. I am looking for a partner to swing with, or a nice couple that is looking for MWM.

 

I am looking forward to many new experiences and having a great time with a nice couple. maybe they are on here.

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Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

 

No experience at all! MBC have been pillow talking about this experience for a couple of years. Want to experience watchng my husband having sex with another woman while she is pleasing me! Want to have that total out of body experience, the taste, smell, and feel of another woman!

 

So very green to this experience and I am tired of not exploring the unknown because I don't know how to. HELP!

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Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

 

Yes we are new. We are a happily married couple in our fifties. Have done some fmf and shared wife experiences but not for five years or so. Would love to meet new couples for casual computer or phone conversations until we can meet in person. We are very excited on finding this site and hope it blossoms into something fun and exciting.

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Not sure we can help. We are totally new to this site. I have shared my wife with other couple but experience in last couple of years has been limited. We too are looking to experience more but hesitant on moving to quickly. Hope things work out for youl.

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We've fantacised alot but never actually done anything. Very interested but a bit apprehensive, we'll see how things go over the next few months, got a few things coming up.

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Totally new here. Me and the wife have flirted with the idea and talked openly about the possibilities. But as of right now it's all fantasy and it's not something im sure we are ready yet to make reality just yet as we still have to work on our communication and openess in our marriage. But again we have / and still do , actively flirt with the idea! It's fun! :)

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No and Yes! We have had several experiences with other guys and chickies but it has been by chance.Not a planned meeting.

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We went on a cruise in April to the Bahamas and the group we booked with were a bunch of folks in the "Lifestyle". This was a big step for us as its something I've been curious about for many years but never had the balls to actually bring up. The cruise was a perfect opportunity to expose us to the lifestyle with no pressure or expectations. We had a great time and realized that the lifestyle is just that and we both had a lot of misconceptions about it, most of which was that everyone that swings does a full swap. Most of the folks we met didn't but played to a lesser extent, like soft swap and the like.

 

After the cruise we had some very good friends ask us if we were swingers. They thought we were because of our trips to St. Martin and just assumed that since we liked getting naked we must swap. We told them that we were not but that we were talking about it a lot more since the cruise.

 

So after a couple hot weeks of discussing it all, the 4 of us got a hotel room and played together one night. Just soft stuff, but we all had a very hot time. So we are looking to experience the lifestyle some more. Thinking about a club maybe.

 

All I can say is WOW.

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We are new to couple swinging. I am usually the one to go for the extra in the relationship but the idea of us both with another attractive couple is very erotic.:facelick:

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Were not new to the experiences, but we are definetly new putting any type of label on it. Back when we were in college, we had a couple we played with pretty regularly and a FFM, but all of it happened spontaneously, at least the first time. Since then we've gotten married, and had two children, and now that our youngest is old enough I feel comfortable leaving her overnight with a babysitter (18 months) weve been recently interested in dabbling in some more of that type of fun.

 

Weve actually been (apparently) successful in seeking it out sans club or personals, just through networking, as we are currently talking with another couple we met through random life circumstances. Right now just trying to set up a nice date with no kids in the house for us.... we actually had one already but were effectively cockblocked by Aunt Flo :mad:

 

So not exactly new, but not exactly experienced either.

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we are very new to this lifestyle. we have had a meet and greet(dinner) where we met a very nice couple. we have been chatting now for over a month and really enjoying the sexual banter. we have not been able to work out a time where our schedules match up, so we are just continuing to tease each other with dirty chatting. mr newcple and i have also used this time to really evaluate and define our limits, figuring out what we feel comfortable with.

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We are relatively inexperienced and our past experiences have only been with close friends. We travel a lot and having the time to establish that level of trust is often not there. Wife has been playing with phone sex lately and that seems to work for her.

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We are new to the lifestyle with no real experience and are moving slowly. More a case of feeling comfortable enough naked in a crowd, performance fears- usual newbie phobias. Going to clubs works well for us at this point, since we can watch, try new stuff by ourselves, and not put anyone out.

 

Most of SLS contacts have been with people who are expecting more than we want to do at this time. Taking the Board's advice and moving at the speed of the slowest member ( which is sometimes Mr. Olive!!)

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I found this site doing an internet search for swingers forums and am impressed with the breadth and depth of topics covered here.

 

My girlfriend and I are relatively new to swinging. Naturally with her being an outgoing woman she gets hit on or hits on men at our club with ease. I truly enjoy seeing her have fun with other men. Realizing that it's only recreational sex has helped immensely in getting past the jealousy and increased my pleasure from the whole experience. I also love being in an atmosphere where walking around naked and talking about sex and pleasure is no big deal.

 

Having said all that I do feel myself wanting more for me. Being a soft-spoken introvert doesn't seem to lend itself well to the lifestyle, at least not in the club or party scene. I'm not a fake it til ya make it types who can suddenly become a boisterous, life of the party who draws others in as naturally as breathing.

So maybe there needs to be swinging for introverts groups around the country. LOL

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I found this site doing an internet search for swingers forums and am impressed with the breadth and depth of topics covered here.

 

My girlfriend and I are relatively new to swinging. Naturally with her being an outgoing woman she gets hit on or hits on men at our club with ease. I truly enjoy seeing her have fun with other men. Realizing that it's only recreational sex has helped immensely in getting past the jealousy and increased my pleasure from the whole experience. I also love being in an atmosphere where walking around naked and talking about sex and pleasure is no big deal.

 

Having said all that I do feel myself wanting more for me. Being a soft-spoken introvert doesn't seem to lend itself well to the lifestyle, at least not in the club or party scene. I'm not a fake it til ya make it types who can suddenly become a boisterous, life of the party who draws others in as naturally as breathing.

So maybe there needs to be swinging for introverts groups around the country. LOL

 

I completely agree- Im not entirely new, but not a seasoned pro either. Though interestingly enough my last relationship was the only monogamous one I ever had. My relationship with appliancesex though is the first open and honest relationship non-monogamous relationship I've had.

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I have no experience swinging, haha. I'm hoping to expand my sexual prowess and have fun with new people. I have one fantasy (which I'm sure is shared by others) to have a FMF threesome... I'm single now but you never know what might happen right? Really, I just want to keep it light and fun, no need for drama

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Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

 

We are total newbies LOL! And it's a relatively new idea for us. We would really like to (eventually! baby steps LOL) find another couple for a foursome or, the Mrs(S) would really like a MFF threesome. I know you guys are probably looking for more specifics, but not really sure how to describe what we are looking for. :)

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Never been swinging as such, although had several experiences that came close. Brings back memories of when I was a teenager and my friends Mom used to give me hand jobs while her husband was at work. She never let it go any further but seemed to enjoy and be fascinated by how far I could shoot as a teenage boy.

I'm now interested in seeing what is out there to be experienced and share these experiences with others. Would love to meet a woman who is into similar things.

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Kevin and I went to a club and enjoyed it very much. We are first looking for a threesome fmf and then eventually full swap. We are both expremely sexual people and think this is the best thing for our relatinship.

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My wife and I have been together 21 years, married for 19. We wanted to spice things up a bit. She was curious about watching someone having sex live, so I looked up a club in Phoenix and we checked things out. We enjoyed our visit very much. We have not swapped yet. Not sure if we will. We did find out that my wife is a closet exhibitionist. We enjoyed showing her sexy body off while dancing. It was a total turn on for me to see her topless (in public?) like that. That club has since closed and the other clubs aren't so couple friendly as the first one so we have not been around the scene since. Guess that makes us new and on hold at the moment.

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My wife and I have been together 7.5 years and married almost 6. We built our relationship on total honesty and have been able to talk about anything. We've both expressed curiosity about being with others from almost the beginning. Since getting married we've had several MFM encounters but nothing with another female or couple yet though that is definitely something we both want.

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We have been in the "lifestyle" for about 10 years and have had some terrific adventures as well as some troubling ones. What we find is that when the experience is unplanned .. something that just happens ( Which seems to happen often in Vegas, vacation or at lifestyles conventions ) it is usually erotic, exciting and memorable.

 

We have not had the same great experiences at the clubs or on "dates". they haven't always been bad, but there seem to be a lot more challenges to navigate through in those environments.

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My wife and I have been together 7.5 years and married almost 6. We built our relationship on total honesty and have been able to talk about anything. We've both expressed curiosity about being with others from almost the beginning. Since getting married we've had several MFM encounters but nothing with another female or couple yet though that is definitely something we both want.

 

That's interesting! MFM right out of the gate. Now is this something you both wanted? Is it a rule? or ...?

 

We ask because we must be an oddity.. we are both straight and enjoy the MFM and MFMF play. I will play with the right woman and in the right circumstance but I prefer guys. And this.. being "straight" seems to cause us issues sometimes.

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My wife and I have been together 21 years, married for 19. We wanted to spice things up a bit. She was curious about watching someone having sex live, so I looked up a club in Phoenix and we checked things out. We enjoyed our visit very much. We have not swapped yet. Not sure if we will. We did find out that my wife is a closet exhibitionist. We enjoyed showing her sexy body off while dancing. It was a total turn on for me to see her topless (in public?) like that. That club has since closed and the other clubs aren't so couple friendly as the first one so we have not been around the scene since. Guess that makes us new and on hold at the moment.

 

We've heard that AZ has kind of cracked down on swingers clubs? Is that true? And if so .. what are those who used to go to those clubs doing now?

 

I ask because we had a similar situation here.. now we just have house parties and honestly.. that has worked out better.

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We went on a cruise in April to the Bahamas and the group we booked with were a bunch of folks in the "Lifestyle". This was a big step for us as its something I've been curious about for many years but never had the balls to actually bring up. The cruise was a perfect opportunity to expose us to the lifestyle with no pressure or expectations. We had a great time and realized that the lifestyle is just that and we both had a lot of misconceptions about it, most of which was that everyone that swings does a full swap. Most of the folks we met didn't but played to a lesser extent, like soft swap and the like.

 

After the cruise we had some very good friends ask us if we were swingers. They thought we were because of our trips to St. Martin and just assumed that since we liked getting naked we must swap. We told them that we were not but that we were talking about it a lot more since the cruise.

 

So after a couple hot weeks of discussing it all, the 4 of us got a hotel room and played together one night. Just soft stuff, but we all had a very hot time. So we are looking to experience the lifestyle some more. Thinking about a club maybe.

 

All I can say is WOW.

 

Kind of sounds like our experience. I think that's a great way to learn!

 

btw.. what are your thought on St Martin? Suggestions?

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We've been married for about 12 years, about 6 has been dabbling in the lifestyle a bit. It's been a pretty fun pasttime for the two of us.

 

We looked around on sites for a while, but what made us take the plunge was going to Trapeze in Atlanta years ago. It was a pretty incredible experience, even though we only stuck to each other the first time.

 

We lost our bearings about 4 years ago and started making stupid decisions (exploring with a couple of our vanilla friends who were curious rather than people more experienced in the lifestyle) and I have to say, it really put us off for a while. We're low drama people, and our experience with the other couples (who were also neighbors) was pretty rough.

 

That said, we're at a good point in our lives to do a little exploring again. The mood struck the wife a couple weeks ago again, and we've had a couple of hot MFM experiences since. I can't believe we never found this site before! So awesome to see others experience from a practical side (not just erotic stories).

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We've been 'in and out' of the lifestyle for about 10 or 12 years (hard to remember actually). The reason we say 'in and out' is because it's so damn hard finding people in our area that appeal to us and that aren't drama queens.

 

Had good experiences and a couple of not so good ones, been to Trapeze in Ft. Lauderdale several times and enjoyed it and we used to go to Club Kama Sutra when it was around (and before the one owner took it over and destroyed it)

 

We are eagerly awaiting the Trapeze in Philly to open once they get done with their legal battle with the city.

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My husband has experience with this, I, on the other hand, am a complete newbie. I'm not exactly sure what to expect. Does anyone have any advice for me as to what to expect? Thanks

C & B

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I've been on this board in the past and am now here again - so the idea of swinging has been in my thoughts for some time - I've not ever done anything about it.

 

I'm far too shy to go out into a publicly "swing" environment by my only self and I've not ever dated a guy seriously or casually that didn't look at me, head tilted, eyes squinted, and dismissed the idea quickly and aggressively.

 

So for now - it remains a mystery to me - but thanks to this board - its a mystery I can unravel on my own terms.

 

Thank you all for that!

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hi My name is Will and I am new to the site i am new to swinging and curious to engaging my first swing experience

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We experienced a threesome FMF a few times and decided to take it a step further. We played around with our BF of 20 years a couple of times and it was really hot, then decided it might get to complicated with such good friends. So here we are, Hot 50's, attractive, good bodies, sexy and fun.

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We are not new. We have been in the lifestyle for about 10 years. First time happened at Close Encounters in Mississippi. Have not heard but sure hope that nice little club survived the storms of 2005.

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My husband has had threesomes (mfm and fmf) in a past relationship. I am completely new to everything. I am unsure of where to begin.

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We have been swinging for about three years. We have only played with two couples so far. The first couple pursued us for a few months and we decided to give it a try. We loved it. We played exclusively with them for about four months and we were on cloud 9. Then they split up. It was devastating to us and it took us time to get over it. We could not imagine playing with anyone else.

 

Then we decided to join SLS to meet other couples. The first couple we met did not go well and we almost quit the site but we decided to try again. We clicked with the second couple and we had a great time. We have played a couple of times and consider them friends. They recommended another couple and we met with them this last weekend at a meet and greet and we really clicked. We are looking forward to meeting with them again. At the meet and greet the host recommended this site so we signed up.

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We are new to it all. My husband actually met a new friend of mine, then while having sex started talking about what he would do to her. Man I got so excited by that, I started thinking about getting him a playmate, it's very hard to find an eager female in our area. Bty I asked the friend if she wanted to do him and she said no thanks:sad:. Oh well her loss. Any suggestions on finding him a girl would be appreciated. :lol:

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