Are you totally new to swinging or do you have experience?

[dazanconfsd 84]

We were new when we became members here. We had one experience that wasn't the best and started researching and learning about the LS. we have since been with more couples with less boundaries and holy cow we're in heaven. For us, it was incomplete communication that screwed up the first interaction, that and hubby's irrational fears. We have had a handful of soft and full swaps now and both are loving the LS.

[David Lovell 160]

I started to wonder how my wife and I became swingers. It was not by accident. Looking back to our first time playing with our friends I realized it was all my wife's doing.

With the exception of one long time ago swap, not really swinging, we were monogamous for 15 years. Our sex life was satisfying but far from pornographic. A rabbit vibrator was the most risque part of our lovemaking. No BJs etc. My wife, unbeknown to me, had cheated on me with a friend's husband, with full knowledge and support of her friend. Our first swing date was planned by the three of them and I was led to believe it was spontaneous. My wife now has become more involved in exotic sex and now is a hot swinging wife. She does BJ and rides on top! She only likes one lover and only goes bareback. I have fun with her girlfriend, also bareback, also she would really like to play with a wider group of swinger couples.

When we get together with a bigger group my wife stays with her preferred lover. His wife is open to different lovers. Do others find the same thing? How can I get my wife to play with another guy?

[GlicerinEBAG 15]

As a couple we are new. DH has never swung; however, in addition to being bi-sexual, I had a MFM threesome with my ex-hubby, and had a FMF (twice) with my 'best girlfriend" and her husband between my divorce and meeting my DH.

DH and I want to swing, I had the idea, but he suggested it first. I am concerned about him being jealous. He has made some jealous comments about my previous expiernces, but he says that will not be an issuse if he is playing also.

I am also concerned about STDs. If I'm playing with strangers, there will be a condom rule. DH says that will limit our swinging possibilites.

DH is concerned about being "found out" due to his job...

[Newandnaughty 3]

As a couple we are new. DH has never swung; however, in addition to being bi-sexual, I had a MFM threesome with my ex-hubby, and had a FMF (twice) with my 'best girlfriend" and her husband between my divorce and meeting my DH.

DH and I want to swing, I had the idea, but he suggested it first. I am concerned about him being jealous. He has made some jealous comments about my previous expiernces, but he says that will not be an issuse if he is playing also.

I am also concerned about STDs. If I'm playing with strangers, there will be a condom rule. DH says that will limit our swinging possibilites.

DH is concerned about being "found out" due to his job...

 

Most folks, at least the ones we’ve encounter, adhere to the condom rule also, especially with strangers.

 

DH has made jealous comments about your sexual past? All good as long as he’s playing too? Big red flag, HUGE. If he feels you’re enjoying yourself more than he is, big argument on the way home. Your partner makes you cum multiple times, big argument on the way home. Your partner has a bigger dick than DH, you guessed it, huge argument. I wish you two luck, but he’s not ready. Not trying to be Debbie Downer, just my opinion.

[mike 70108070 15]

Hi we are a married couple in essex and looking to do swinging fir the first Time and advice on clubs in essex and any advice in the first would be gratefully appreciated

[Numex 2,409]

... I am concerned about him being jealous. He has made some jealous comments about my previous expiernces,..

That's dumb, your husband needs to realize how lucky he is. Plenty of men here would give their left testicle for their wife to be as experienced and open as you. One of the best days of my marriage is the day with my encouragement, my wife fucked an old boyfriend. We know the date an celebrate it between the two of us - a secret anniversary of sorts where a different world was opened to us.

[NewSw 37]

Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

 

new in swingers , we try to research and read about this amazing world, we walk slowly and cautiously because of the ideology in our country

[fwblondon 19]

Amazing stories here, my Wife and I are from Canada and have been in the LS for 5 years together 8 years. We had only played with one couple off and on for the first 4 years but we kind of broke out this summer and have now played with 4 couples and currently have an ongoing lady that joins the 2 of us.

 

Her and I have also played separately a few times at my Wife's request which has been pretty hot for all of us.

[marla&brian 48]

I (Marla) had some experience in the lifestyle a long (long) time ago. Brain has not. Looking possible about dipping our toes (and other body parts) into the pool so to speak....

[Numex 2,409]

Had a question, but just saw your other post.

[englishlady 15]

i used to be more active but family life got in the way, now i'm just starting to get back into things...

[NewSw 37]

new

 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

This thread's 12 years old now. I wonder if it's the longest lasting thread on the forum?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

15 minutes ago, bbarnsworth said:

This thread's 12 years old now. I wonder if it's the longest lasting thread on the forum?

 

 

Without digging around, I believe we have some threads close to or at 18 years old now.  We've been here since late 2004 and I occasionally see threads older than that. 

[wildrebty420 2]

we joined online Dec 30 last year. but with 2020 being a write off we haven't had a chance to go the club's. we haven't had much luck online meeting our age , (not like we really care about age.)  but we have noticed the online profiles are dominated by the male in relationship(reba is our primary online out of us.) why is that?

And also  what site as people from Canada ontario should try

[njbm 2,868]

3 hours ago, wildrebty420 said:

we joined online Dec 30 last year. but with 2020 being a write off we haven't had a chance to go the club's. we haven't had much luck online meeting our age , (not like we really care about age.)  but we have noticed the online profiles are dominated by the male in relationship(reba is our primary online out of us.) why is that?

And also  what site as people from Canada ontario should try

We use SLS. We are near New York. Hopefully, an Ontario member can chime in. 

[njbm 2,868]

3 hours ago, wildrebty420 said:

we joined online Dec 30 last year. but with 2020 being a write off we haven't had a chance to go the club's. we haven't had much luck online meeting our age , (not like we really care about age.)  but we have noticed the online profiles are dominated by the male in relationship(reba is our primary online out of us.) why is that?

And also  what site as people from Canada ontario should try

For 2021, think about visiting Desire in Mexico, Caliente in Tampa, Florida region, or a Bliss cruise. 

[vaitape 35]

Been swinging since 2008. Have had profiles on Sls and SDC for about the last 8 years. Done the swingers club thing in the US and abroad. Parties. Hotels. Home. Couples. Single guys. Single girls.

[J&Wu 408]

My wife and I have been Nudists for about 30 years (kids grown and gone). We went on some clothing optional and "Lifestyle" Cruises about 10 years ago and decided to join a swing club in Florida based on info from a fellow cruise couple.

[JessicaJamison 861]

Experience, I have been a hotwife for over 5 years, and my husband and I have been full swapping for 3 years.  

[njbm 2,868]

We are nudists for thirty years, swingers for five. 

[Playman64 205]

Started so long ago.  Except for my experience with Ms. Kaye.  My first adult swinger experience happened when I was in the military I was having lunch at a bar when I was picked up by a couple for my first threesome.  When I was in the military I got plenty of sex, sometimes just a BJ other times fucking. I can’t even guess how many. 
 

I got out of military met my first wife, she did a lot of first with me, her first anal, her first woman, her first swap & overnight, we were married about 5 years, very sexual.  We divorced stayed friends & still fucked. 
 

Dianne my second wife, I met at a house party, we fit together perfect.  We were wonderful sex partners, our marriage last about 3 1/2 years.  
 

After Dianne, I kept swinging alone or with a partner, lots & lots of one night stands.  Then I met Debbie we have been together for 16 years or so, about 6 years ago I started having heart problems so my swinging slowed down, we still go to house parties butt I mainly watch. 

 

 

 

[Jimbobloves to please 1]

I am total new at this.

[JennySwallows 45]

Been in the lifestyle for going on 6 years. I'm a single swinger, After my divorce I found myself for an insatiable craving for sex. An internet FWB told me about the lifestyle, even though he didn't care for it. I was invited to my first party via a swinger site in the Tallahassee are and after getting railed by three men, I never looked back.

[Numex 2,409]

11 hours ago, JennySwallows said:

Been in the lifestyle for going on 6 years. I'm a single swinger

Are you looking for a long term, romantic relationship/marriage?  By already being in the lifestyle, you are more likely to find someone who wants the same. 

 

I wish that my wife and I were in the lifestyle when we met; we would have gotten to where we are more quickly, although the working towards it was fun too.

[JennySwallows 45]

8 hours ago, Numex said:

Are you looking for a long term, romantic relationship/marriage?  By already being in the lifestyle, you are more likely to find someone who wants the same. 

 

I wish that my wife and I were in the lifestyle when we met; we would have gotten to where we are more quickly, although the working towards it was fun too.

Idk I love being a single swinger, less attachments. As long as I get invites I never feel the need to have romantic relationships. Who knows, I might have a change of heart years down the line.

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

Prior to our first meeting we were both completely new. Our first real conversation came during the pandemic and was talk to make being home together 24/7 interesting. I don’t think either of us thought we would act out on fun talk. 

[NoAngels 333]

On 12/13/2020 at 4:54 PM, JennySwallows said:

Idk I love being a single swinger, less attachments. As long as I get invites I never feel the need to have romantic relationships. Who knows, I might have a change of heart years down the line.

We have had an open marriage or what I call a don’t ask, don’t tell marriage. We both knew the other played. We now have a let’s talk after marriage. When she plays alone she tells me details. She specifically meets married cheating men and the stories she has are hysterical. Once after hearing what a great time she had, sexually, I asked when she was meeting him again, she said Never. She too doesn’t want anything that can turn into a relationship. 

[NoAngels 333]

11 hours ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

Prior to our first meeting we were both completely new. Our first real conversation came during the pandemic and was talk to make being home together 24/7 interesting. I don’t think either of us thought we would act out on fun talk. 

I’m waiting to read how your first fun went. 

[David Lovell 160]

We are experienced but within limits of the number of contacts. Amy and I have different experiences. We first swapped with friends about 13 years ago, before we were married. It was a unplanned but great experience. Nothing happened for ten years, then  about 3 years ago Amy discovered the delight of  two sessions of sex with her friend's husband.  So delightful that I was enlisted to start  foursome swinging with Lesley and Ken, my wife's lover and his wife. 

We now swing with them frequently, plus twice with our old friends from 13 years back and a couple of swing parties. We do hall passes with our individual lovers which is the most exciting part of swinging for both of us. 

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

On 12/15/2020 at 9:57 AM, NoAngels said:

I’m waiting to read how your first fun went. 

Our first experience contained more than our first swap, it was also the first time I had a bi experience. The couple that we met online, also a first, was thoughtful, considerate and I want to say we are lucky to have met them. 

It was the first time I ever had sex without kissing because with the pandemic we figured kissing would add extra risk. 

I think our first fun went without a hitch and I would thank our partners for making it fun. 

[MidwestHoneys 356]

1 hour ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

Our first experience contained more than our first swap, it was also the first time I had a bi experience.

How did that happen? I see so many women on here are trying bi for the first time, were you curious or pressured.  How did you react?

[mlps 7]

 My wife and I are new and we currently have the same fantasy    She is being tied up and gangbanged by six men while I watch in the corner and then finish off where everyone else has already been

 

 My  my wife likes it rough with lots of fun toys. I enjoy watching her receive pleasure no matter what or who gives it to her 

 

I do not think I am a cuckold but I also do not think that would be a bad thing

 

 

[Deadeye 24]

Go back 72 when I was 20 years old I moved into an adults-only Apartments women laying around a swimming pool naked they had a steam room hot tub and swimming pool. There was even a bar in the apartments complex. I lived there 7 years met my first wife there. And we had threesomes before we got married and after

[couplers 4,614]

On 1/4/2021 at 4:22 PM, mlps said:

She is being tied up and gangbanged by six men while I watch in the corner and then finish off where everyone else has already been

I admire a man who isn't intimidated by a woman's sexuality and her expression of it.  But is this what she wants?

Edited February 14, 2021 by couplers

[couplers 4,614]

4 hours ago, Deadeye said:

I lived there 7 years met my first wife there. And we had threesomes before we got married and after

This is the right way to start a relationship and marriage, none of the "We've been married for many years and are thinking about maybe dipping our toe into the lifestyle and are setting up all the rules..."  You knew what you two wanted and built a relationship and marriage upon it.

[Aphroditee 323]

Pretty experienced.  ?

[Couple Curious 10]

Have so many questions, but here is the gist our scenario: Before and after marriage (28 years ago) we were sexually adventurous. MFM threesomes with 4-5 different friends of ours and a couple MFF as well, and few couple foursomes.  Always with people that were both our friends and we had very good relationships.  After kids and many years, the topic has come up up off and on but more recently as we reconnected with one of our best guy friends.  Both of us are not extreme exhibitionists or voyeurs, but both enjoyed watching and being watched by each other. We never had rules outlined but things seemed to work perfectly. Kissing, oral, and intercourse was ok, but absolutely no anal by anyone and always together.

 

Not sure how to say this politically correct these days, but there was never any guy on guy action and that was nothing I ever wanted or want. My wife occasionally would engage with another female, but that was not the main intent for her to do or me to want to see. Now, not that like most guys I didn't enjoy it, but I think mostly because there was a sensuality about it and her that was intensely hot!

 

What made it work previously was that all our past relationships were with people we both liked and trusted, and for both of us, a couple of them we even lived with.  My wife had a real friendship with two of my best friends, and both of us with one of their GFs. There was never any jealousy or sex without us both there. I can honestly say I don't think it could have been any better of a situation(s). But, for both of us, there had to be a connection with the others that went beyond just sex.  Sometimes it was just couple games or foreplay, but mostly it ended in sex.

 

After 15 years is it odd to be thinking about this again? What would you call the relationships we had as they were all built off friendship, trust, but obviously attraction to others, and sex? Is this todays swinging?

 

 

 

[adamgunn 1,460]

4 hours ago, Couple Curious said:

After 15 years is it odd to be thinking about this again? What would you call the relationships we had as they were all built off friendship, trust, but obviously attraction to others, and sex? Is this todays swinging?

You are right on the curve, my friend. Many couples take time off to have babies and raise them, spend time on their professional advancement, 'become adults.' Then, when life starts to slow down just a bit and the kids get older, those old feelings return. 

 

Enjoy it, best of luck.

[Numex 2,409]

On 12/15/2020 at 7:56 AM, NoAngels said:

She specifically meets married cheating men and the stories she has are hysterical. Once after hearing what a great time she had, sexually, I asked when she was meeting him again, she said Never. She too doesn’t want anything that can turn into a relationship. 

When single, my wife preferred married men as well.  She said that the sex was fantastic, they were very grateful, and although there was a relationship, the adage that cheating married men never leave their wives is true so it didn't become more.  At my request, she now only plays with married men whose wives know.  (Convinced her that we don't want to be caught in a messy situation.)  Actually, the wives are all involved.

Edited May 25, 2021 by Numex

[Baconheads 431]

On 12/14/2020 at 8:42 PM, ROCKlandCpl said:

Prior to our first meeting we were both completely new. Our first real conversation came during the pandemic and was talk to make being home together 24/7 interesting. I don’t think either of us thought we would act out on fun talk. 

Yes, do  tell!

[J&Wu 408]

17 hours ago, Couple Curious said:

Have so many questions, but here is the gist our scenario: Before and after marriage (28 years ago) we were sexually adventurous. MFM threesomes with 4-5 different friends of ours and a couple MFF as well, and few couple foursomes.  Always with people that were both our friends and we had very good relationships.  After kids and many years, the topic has come up up off and on but more recently as we reconnected with one of our best guy friends.  Both of us are not extreme exhibitionists or voyeurs, but both enjoyed watching and being watched by each other. We never had rules outlined but things seemed to work perfectly. Kissing, oral, and intercourse was ok, but absolutely no anal by anyone and always together.

 

Not sure how to say this politically correct these days, but there was never any guy on guy action and that was nothing I ever wanted or want. My wife occasionally would engage with another female, but that was not the main intent for her to do or me to want to see. Now, not that like most guys I didn't enjoy it, but I think mostly because there was a sensuality about it and her that was intensely hot!

 

What made it work previously was that all our past relationships were with people we both liked and trusted, and for both of us, a couple of them we even lived with.  My wife had a real friendship with two of my best friends, and both of us with one of their GFs. There was never any jealousy or sex without us both there. I can honestly say I don't think it could have been any better of a situation(s). But, for both of us, there had to be a connection with the others that went beyond just sex.  Sometimes it was just couple games or foreplay, but mostly it ended in sex.

 

After 15 years is it odd to be thinking about this again? What would you call the relationships we had as they were all built off friendship, trust, but obviously attraction to others, and sex? Is this todays swinging?

 

 

 

Sounds like the two of you had an experience that worked really well for you with select friends. It would not have for us, we needed to get out of state and anonymous to our Swing Club's Saturday night Hotel Parties. I'm sure some of the members who live locally get together in various combinations on their own as well.

[Couple Curious 10]

19 hours ago, adamgunn said:

You are right on the curve, my friend. Many couples take time off to have babies and raise them, spend time on their professional advancement, 'become adults.' Then, when life starts to slow down just a bit and the kids get older, those old feelings return. 

 

Enjoy it, best of luck.

Exactly what took place! We'll see if feelings, us, or the "lifestyle" has changed too much.

[Couple Curious 10]

So, the better is weighing in...So, ladies, I am not even sure that they called what we did back in the day swinging.  It was just young adults exploring their sexuality and fantasies that happened to be in the form of 3somes and couple 4somes. I suppose I always was very sexual person inwardly, but it heightened outwardly when I got a job at our towns local adult lingerie/toy/gift store. Luckily I had a boyfriend, and then later married him, who was as adventurous or more so, like I wanted to be.

 

For me, it was about exploring sex with him.  It was always together, and yes, it was always with people who we were close to.  In addition, I always wanted and needed to have be close friends with the people we were with.  There was only one time that I didn't know the guy, other than his name, as he worked with my BF.  We are all still close to this day, some 20 years later.

 

I will admit, that more often than not, the focus of the evening from my man was so that I enjoyed myself, but as he said, "if you enjoy yourself, than I will too."  That was one of his turn-ons, making me feel good. And he always does!

 

So, my question is , do other females feel the same way about sex with other people or couples? Do you need to have that connection?  Or does this not necessarily exists anymore?  Do the clubs and the life style allow the time to develop those relationships?  OR is wham bam thank you mam?  That I am not looking for.

[SheernylonCpl 38]

Helen here and we both second generation swingers and been in this wonderful lifestyle since our late teens. We have a swing group and enjoy a super non monogamous open relationship that includes all bare back fun and casual sex.

[couplers 4,614]

On 6/16/2023 at 9:29 PM, SheernylonCpl said:

we both ... been in this wonderful lifestyle since our late teens.

I started in my early twenties with two guys who both knew about the other and loved me anyway; and still do.  Highly recommend not waiting for marriage, then opening up.  Go into marriage having discussed, agreed upon, and started practicing non-monogamy.  Because even if you agree to be in the lifestyle, there are details that need to be mutually satisfactory. 

[gokuandchichi 8]

We haven't started swinging yet.  But she has said she would like to dip the toes in and see where we go from there.  

It all started a few months ago.  We got this app that is supposed to help couples communicate about certain topics through games and the likes.  One of the first games we played was about threesomes.  I was suprised to find that she was a little keen for them with both male and female.  Anyway a bit of conversation was had with that and we had some really hot sex that night.  A couple of weeks later, I had a bit of an idea to get her worked up a bit for that night.  I asked if it would be ok for me to send some short sex stories for her to read.  Just 1 a week.  She thought it was a great idea.  I tend to like the stories that are more realistic.  Anyway the sight i was looking at for stories was hard to find something that wasn't incest, beastiality or teenage stories.  I found a few swinging stories and these were my favourite.  

Over the space of a couple of weeks i sent a couple of threesome stories and a swinging story.  She liked the swinging story the most.  It was then after a google search i found this site and hit the jackpot.  I have been sending her stories from this site every week for a couple of months now.  This of course got us talking about swinging and clubs.  She confessed to me that she was interested in going to one.  Well good old Google to the rescue again and I have found one about 15 mins from here.  We are both looking forward to an opportunity to check it out.  Kinda hard with kids and getting a baby sitter, but we will figure something out.  

Anyway while I was doing some more research (I figure I may as well have as much information about the topic as I can) i came across a Playboy TV series called Swing.  I downloaded it (completely legally of course *NOT*) in the hopes we might be able to watch it together.  Well on the weekend we were talking about what we were going to do that night and I jokingly said "Wanna watch some porn and have some fun".  She responded with "Sure, sounds good".  I then thought of the series and suggested it to her.  She was a bit more excited by the sounds of that.  So we put it on and watched 2 episodes.  She got really worked up with the Red room scenes and we were doing it doggy style while watching it.  Both episodes.  We then started talking about it again about different situations and rules.  Suprisingly she was keen to do the same the next night too.  

Anyway the swinging conversation has been getting a bit more intense this week.  Talking about which couples we see when out and about and if we would "do them".  Our plan is to go to the club on their couples introduction night and just have a look and probably have sex together and just see what the other couples do.  We may engage in a soft oral maximum swap (still working out this rule and will have a concrete barrier in place before we go).  

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.  The hardest part of this is not having anyone to talk to about it at this stage.  Don't want to talk about it to friends for obvious reasons although i think one couple may want to join us in the future (that is another story for another time) 

So before i sign off, a couple of questions.

1. Has anybody watched Swing from Playboy TV and is it in anyway realistic.  It seems to me like it might be as couples don't just go around and bang everyone, they are very choosey and stick to their rules (at least in the first 3 episodes)?

2. Does it sound like we are ready to take the plunge?

3. Any red flags here?

[AdamGunn2 393]

51 minutes ago, gokuandchichi said:

 

2. Does it sound like we are ready to take the plunge?

3. Any red flags here?

It sounds like you're pretty ready to me. Go to the club, you'll have a ball. Just remember to set any limits for the night at least a couple of days in advance. And then, when you get there, be very sure to keep to those rules, no matter how much you're tempted to break them. The next day, calmly discuss what you enjoyed, what you didn't, and make plans for your next time. Have fun!

[lisampsas 51]

Many many years and many many parties!

[let's do it again 414]

I have swapped on and off since the early 80's, but one thing that I have never been part of was a large orgy that consisted of 5 or more couples. I have always wondered what it would be like in a big open room with a lot of naked couples, fucking like animals.