Would you play with someone who has undergone gender reassignment surgery?

[Guest Pinmonkey]

What would you do if the person you are attracted to and hoping to have sex with has undergone gender reassignment surgury? Would you want to know before playing? Would you want to know at all?

[sweet_tna 680]

What would you do if the person you are attracted to and hoping to have sex with has undergone gender reassignment surgury? Would you want to know before playing? Would you want to know at all?

 

That's an interesting question. My answer would be yes, I would prefer to know. But really, if that person doesn't obviously look as though they belong to their originally assigned gender, how would you know (before playing) to ask? It would be up to him or her to choose to tell you.

 

My father had this surgery, but still does not look feminine at all. So anyone interested in "her" would have to at least suspect something.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Pin,

 

As a male, yeah, I would want to know that in advance.

[Guest Pinmonkey]

Would that stop you from becoming involved with her? Even if she was fairly attractive?

[thegardiner 15]

It would be up to that person to say and yes I would like to know. If a person just does not 'look' the part, and given the increase in frequency of this occurrence of this change, a conversation along those lines would suffice. I believe most persons would state so if indeed they don't 'look' the part. However for those that DO look the part, they may decide to not tell.

 

Would I still be attracted if I knew? That's a good question, I'd take it by a case by case basis. For instance, let's say that a person is not into gang-bangs and orgies but rather one-on-ones and threesomes and he/she meets someone they are very interested in. After a great time of finding out more about each other and of course flirting that person then comments on the great weekend he/she had in this orgy/gang-bang the other day. Even though there's a first attraction, additional information can change it and depending on the level (or intensity) of attraction he/she may decide he/she is still game.

 

Thus it may be a case by case basis. However for another person it may be a situation where once you were not born that way its NO WAY.

 

 

Nice question though - kudos

[ncmd_couple 597]

Pin,

 

Honestly, I don't know, that is truly uncharted territory for me.

 

S

[Bama0468 93]

I would like to know, and as thegardiner said it would likely be a case by case basis

[velbuzz 17]

I would like to know especially from the health perspective. Although alot depends on the personality of the person and his/her promiscuity.

[Couple-N-NM 48]

Yeah, we'd want to know and we'd probably be out of the deal.

[JustMrJ 178]

I think if the personality was appropriate for the current gender and the attraction/chemistry was genuine... it would not phase me at all.

 

I tend to think of that kind of surgery as 'corrective'. My wife and I have a good friend that went through that (M2F) and we feel are pretty educated on the subject.

 

One point we found fascinating is that they can tell what gender you SHOULD have been by a scan of your brain? (CAT scan if I remember correctly). Also there are quite a few hormonal and chemical differences in the body that are key to determining if a person born with male 'equipment' should have been female and vice-versa.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

I'd ask "her" what they did with the dick. I'd hate to think 5-6 inches of healthy man-meat went up the chimney in smoke. I know guys who could've used that!

[Bama0468 93]

heh heh from what I have seen of sexual reassignment/corrective surgeries you may not want to know what they did with it lol

[TNT 1,155]

I'd ask "her" what they did with the dick.

 

 

In M2F surgery the penis is basically skinned (flesh removed), turned inside out and positioned into the body cavity to form a vagina. It's done in such a way as to leave all nerve endings intact so sensation is felt and orgasms can occur. The scrotum is used to construct the vulva (labia majora and minora)

 

F2M surgery is much more difficult. Some F2M's use only HRT to enlarge the clitoris, which forms a small penis, capable of penetration. Others will have a penis formed using skin/tissue grafts from another part of the body to form a penis.

 

Both fascinating surgeries.

 

Those who have undergo either surgery have spent years struggling with the decision and undergoing extensive mental evaluations (not to mention the possible loss of family, friends and jobs). Their plight is not one to be made fun of but one we should strive to try and understand. Nature is not perfect and it too makes mistakes, all they are doing is trying to correct that mistake and live a life they can hopefully find personal peace and happiness with.

 

 

To answer the OP... I wouldn't care. It would be their decision whether they wanted to tell me or not. As with all my sex partners, if I find something I like and/or am attracted to, it's game on.

 

 

 

Teresa

[lacouples 16]

We prefer to limit the drama in our playful relationships. We generally look for stable committed couples. I suspect that most people who have gone thru this surgery have struggled alot. So it would probably be a disqualifer.

 

If a friend were to struggle with it, the situation would be different and so would be our reaction. We would want to support any friend going thru tough times. However it would probably be mostly as practical and emotional support.

[lovinher 505]

Yea, I would want to know. I have yet to see a male turned female where it wasn't somewhat obvious so I don't think it would get that far anyway. There have been times I have seen a transgendered person when it wasn't so obvious until I find out somehow.

 

No matter how attractive this person may be I still couldn't do it. Call me a homophobe, shallow or whatever you wish but it's not something I could do for various reasons. I have to say this though, it takes a brave person to make the change and I admire them for it.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

I'd ask "her" what they did with the dick. I'd hate to think 5-6 inches of healthy man-meat went up the chimney in smoke. I know guys who could've used that!

 

How rude! I see why you gave yourself that nickname though.

 

Jenn

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Nah, if I'm attracted I'm attracted. If they feel the need to tell me that's fine. But if I didn't know before and I didn't know after then what difference would it really make?

[Playful1 434]

I have actually played with a mtf transgender post surgery. I only knew a few minutes before we got naked. It was totally cool. I was glad to know ahead of time though. It didnt matter, but it let me be prepared. As long as you don't have any issues with it, go for it!

[bicuriocpl 90]

I agree with Julie; if I'm attracted what difference would it make? For me good sex is not at gender they were?

[imsherona2 15]

Yeah, we'd want to know and we'd probably be out of the deal.

 

We tend to agree on this subject, nuff said.

[lustylearning 705]

I would think to myself, "hmmm... fascinating," and that would be about it. It wouldn't prevent me from playing, but I suspect my comfort level has to do with the fact that I'm female. This scenario would be far more uncomfortable, I think, to a male. Men are socialized to be homophobic.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I don't know.

 

I don't think I would know until I was actually in the situation.

[driveajeepnaked 26]

If I were attracted to the person to begin with, it wouldn't make a difference to me what their OEM parts were...

 

I think that I would be more turned on to know that my experience with that person might be unique, different and a possible learning experience tha I might never be able to experience again

 

Val

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

With a person I liked, I'd be up for it. I think it would be fascinating. I'd want to know beforehand. I'd probably have lots of questions that I hope they would be comfortable discussing with me.

 

LM

[IvoryTowers 380]

The only reason I'd want to know beforehand is so I wasn't distracted from the play by the scars (I don't know for sure, but I assume there are scars from the surgeries)!

 

If I'm attracted to a person, I'm attracted. And I've actually always found gender ambiguity very sexy, so a trans-person would probably very attractive.

[it'sso 198]

If any of you have seen some of these people in person, it would surprise me if you could even tell they had their plumbing changed. Some of the "gals" are gorgeous and it would be a done deal before you even knew about the surgery.

[TravlParty 87]

We went to a beauty contest in Cancun, where some of the contestants were cross gender and some were in drag. Many of the "ladies" were gorgeous.

 

The female of us would play. No questions asked.

 

He might, if there was attraction, and post-surgery (female parts). Just haven't had the situation come up yet.

[interested-05 135]

simply if that is what it is, i really dont want to know. I like to think the person i'm with, is who they are, not what they were.

[slevin 1,374]

If any of you have seen some of these people in person' date=' it would surprise me if you could even tell they had their plumbing changed. Some of the "gals" are gorgeous and it would be a done deal before you even knew about the surgery.[/quote']

 

There is a transgender girl (M2F) here in town that goes clubbing a lot. We've seen her out a few times and she is constantly being fawned over by guys. She is one of those hot clubbing girls you see at every club getting their pictures taken and guys drooling over. Personally, I think it's obvious she used to be a man. I'm always surprised that guys don't realize, but it goes to show you that there are definitely transgender girls out there that may be hard to tell just from looking at them. No idea if it would be obvious there had been surgery when looking at the genitals though.

 

Tough call for me as to whether we'd play with them or not. If I was attracted already and there were no red flags from personality or anything like that....no idea if that knowledge would change my mind or not. I'd definitely want to know before-hand so it could be my decision. I'd love to say it wouldn't matter, but I think it would turn me off playing with her. For sure it wouldn't matter to me at a friendship level (either before or after).

[jdavisauto 73]

I would like to know. And yes it would be a deal breaker. Nature, god, life (what ever you want to call it) don’t make mistakes, man make mistakes. We are born as what we are then our minds change the fact and lead us to believe that we are something else. That’s why they undergo so many tests before the sex change surgery.

[makeyashake 15]

This is actually an issue I have a disagreement with a transgendered friend over. I believe it is not right for her to seduce men without first telling them up front they used to be a man. I would equate it to me acting like a butch lesbian in order to get a gay woman into bed.

[willyoats 324]

We have had two experiences along these lines:

 

1) At our summer nudist/swingers camp there was a guy who underwent th whole procedure. She was friendy and interesting to talk to but not physically appealing. Clearly he would not have been particularly appealing to women before the operaiton. I don't think there was anybody there who had sex with either him or her during the many years we went there.

 

2) We were in Phuket, Thailand a few years ago for a tennis tournament. One night we went into town and found a bar that catered to the trans-sexuals in that part of Thailand. Those boys-turned-girls are as beautiful as any women I have ever seen anywhere. One in particular flirted quite a bit with my wife and even got her to play with the new breasts. I'm sure we could have had a unique experience if my wife had been interested.

 

If I had been alone, I certainly would have gone with one of them. It is impossible to overstate just how beautful and delicate and utterly appealing a Thai transexual is. If you ever get there, please don't pass up the opportunity, but then please--please--tell me what it was like.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

The recent thread Is it tougher to be bisexual? and seeing the movie Trinidad (Drs. Stanley Biber and Marci Bowers) combined to made me want to look up this old thread. About a year ago, we were planning to meet a couple comprised of a man and a transgender woman. Only reason it did not happen was the man began to make himself into a bit of a pest. The transgender woman must have become tired of him too as we recently learned that she has booted him out. Anyway, to answer the question posed in the original title for this thread, I guess I might.

 

~M

[NCfuncouple98 367]

Ironic this thread was bumped yesterday.

 

We received an email last night through our local club site and the profile read as any normal profile. But when we looked at the pics it was 2 females. Although there was something about one of the pics...

 

Read further in the profile and did find the abbreviations of TG, and that he is "transitioning". Had to goto Wikipedia to look it up because we really had no idea what it meant.

 

Haven't responded to their email yet - this is kind of new territory and I don't want to come across rude - because I truly hope everything works out well for them. But in this case, it's not someone who's undergone the surgery. It's really something we've just never run across before.... And in this case I do have to say no, we are not interested in playing with them. See them at the club and have conversation, no problem.

 

Mrs NC

[swing_style 15]

It would depend on if we were attracted to them in the first place. If we were then we would have no problem with it, and really wouldn't care if they told us or not. However, if they did tell us then it would make for some fascinating conversation!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Read further in the profile and did find the abbreviations of TG, and that he is "transitioning". Had to go to Wikipedia to look it up because we really had no idea what it meant.

Don't believe I'd be interested in becoming intimate with a transgender person who is transitioning.

 

Since I'm the person who let this genie out of his (or her) bottle again, I will elaborate. To me neither gender identity nor gender change relate in any particular way to hetrosexuality, homosexuality or bi-sexuality. To put in on a personal level, I have never been sexually attracted to a man but I believe could feel attracted to a transgender person who has the anatomical characteristics of a woman.

 

~Michael

[SecretAsianMan 348]

Honestly, if I couldn't tell (or didn't have any suspicions) beforehand... I'd probably rather not know. And I don't know if it would make any difference to me if it wasn't "obvious"

[Chicup 41]

Well since this thread is bumped, I'll give my .02.

 

No.

 

I feel sorry for people who are TG, its got to be an awful life growing up and if the surgery makes them happy more power to them, but I'd not want to be intimate with someone who was TG. Pre or post op.

[truckerbuddy 127]

If he/now a she, looks like a lady. yes i would.. but i have seen some pic of this.. WOW some look gr8 and some ...well lets just say . your kidding ,, right..

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I have personaly met and known, two TG's in my life. I grew up with them in the neighborhood.

 

Rhonda became Ron and Marsha became Mark. I was closer to R.

 

M, moved and we met in a bar later in life.

 

I could tell ya some of what happened throughout, but its not important.

 

As for the original question. No, I would not have sex with a TG.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I really don't know.

 

If I was attracted, and I thought we could make each other happy in bed, and everything else was otherwise positive, I hope I would not shut the door for only that reason.

 

However... I'm willing to guess that most TG's have spent most of their lives unhappy, confused and probably angry. I don't think that's the kind of person I'd be attracted to.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Rhonda became Ron and Marsha became Mark. I was closer to R.

 

I just reread this and for the record Mark became Marsha. I said that wrong.

 

As attractive as Marsha became, I still wouldn't....

[TheLorax 173]

I've had several friends who were transitioning and in one case, transitioned. For me it's a no-brainer, if I'm attracted to them it doesn't matter what equipment they have or had.

 

I did get the opportunity to play a few years back with a friend who was transitioning MtF and I had to think long and hard whether I wanted to play with her or if it was just the novelty of the situation. In the end I did play with her and her female partner and it was fun

[Rackir 159]

Totally!

 

And yup, I'd want to know, I just hope they dont mind me asking questions about what thier expierence has been like once we're done.

[TheLorax 173]

Totally!

 

And yup, I'd want to know, I just hope they dont mind me asking questions about what thier expierence has been like once we're done.

 

This is one of those issues I think a lot about. I'm open to people wanting to talk about things important to them, and I'll ask a question or two or make a reference that indicates that I am open to them talking more. I'm also sensitive to the fact that someone who is obviously very different from the norm gets asked the same questions time and time again.

 

My main activity is unusual enough and interesting enough that I rarely mention it to people I don't know because if I'm in a crowd, it often will instantly dominate the conversation, and I've heard the same things again and again and again. Sometimes I don't want to be the spokesperson for it, I just want to relax and enjoy what someone else has to say.

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

I never saw this thread before, and read it from beginning to now. I saw some opinions voiced that seemed to carry the impression that gender is a two box thing. Either male or female. This couldn't be further from the truth. It's the 'truth' we are brought up to believe, and all the forms we fill out say "male" and "female" on them, but the reality it starkly otherwise. The problem is that it is very frequently pushed down out of our sight because it is so socially unacceptable to be something other than exactly male or exactly female.

 

The reality;

 

According to estimates, there are about 450,000 people in the U.S. alone that are classified as having sexual ambiguity sufficient that medical intervention occurs. More than 3,000,000 people in the U.S. have physical conditions (not mental...physical) classifying them as intersex. Millions. Let that number sink in.

 

These people aren't freaks. They aren't aliens from Pluto. They're not disease ridden (as one person implied in an earlier post). They aren't dangerous. They aren't malicious. They aren't out to fool you. By and large, these people are just trying to have a normal life, as much as they can.

 

A normal life includes sexual interaction with other humans. Should they be denied that because of something completely beyond their control? I find that absurd and morally repugnant to even begin to consider. I have challenged different evangelists about this before, and all but two of them failed miserably in this, insisting these people must be denied the pleasures of sex. How disgusting is that?

 

Now keep in mind; this is just the arena of physical conditions, not mental ones. There are large numbers of people who, despite no physical condition of intersex, nevertheless feel they appear as the wrong sex. Virtually NO research has been done in this arena, with just one study I'm aware of (I'm no expert, just been to two seminars in diversity conferences) that was referred to by an earlier poster (though not by name) who noted that transgendered people can be identified by cat scans. This is only partially true, and it was a small study. There's almost no research in this arena.

 

Given such a lack of research, any castigation of these individuals as being morally bankrupt, weird, etc. is just hate. Nothing but hate. Why would any person willingly subject themselves to the hatred and ostracism of society for trying to appear as the opposite sex of that which they were born with? It isn't fun for them. I heard one of them describe at as a form of hell. They are motivated to do it because of who they are, not because it's fun, kinky, unusual, or attractive.

 

Attraction, contrary to popular belief, isn't based on what's between a person's legs. You don't know what is between a person's legs unless they show you. You base your physical attraction on secondary sexual characteristics. The appeal of those characteristics is independent of their chromosomal and/or hormonal makeup. As another poster noted, there's Thai transgendered people that you would NEVER know are transgendered, and they are stunningly beautiful as m2f women.

 

Now that said, the thought that a person has has re-assignment surgery might repulse you. Honestly, that's fine. But, until you find that out your attraction/repulsion to/away from a person isn't based on their sex re-assignment status. It's based on what you perceive them to be; either a person you are attracted to or not.

 

Me personally, I'm not physically attracted to people I perceive as being men. I am attracted to people I perceive as being women. If I were in a swinging situation, and I found myself very much attracted to someone, I personally wouldn't be repulsed if shortly before we played I found out they had at one time been equipped with a penis. I'd still be attracted to them if they have all the rights parts a woman typically has. If instead they were presenting as a woman but turned out to outwardly still be male, I'd not be interested.

[Chicup 41]

These people aren't freaks. They aren't aliens from Pluto. They're not disease ridden (as one person implied in an earlier post). They aren't dangerous. They aren't malicious. They aren't out to fool you. By and large, these people are just trying to have a normal life, as much as they can.

 

A normal life includes sexual interaction with other humans. Should they be denied that because of something completely beyond their control?

 

No, but that doesn't mean I'd want to play with them.

 

Even if they had the most perfect surgery and looked 100% female, they wouldn't react to sex the same as a true female.

 

I feel sorry for such individuals, it must be horrible to feel as they do, but sex is out of the question for me.

[J&Wu 408]

I have a fully M2F transitioned Lady I quite enjoy having oral sex with, I am too large to fuck her vagina although some of the smaller guys at our club do and I would if possible. It is fairly obvious from height, legs and hips and voice(getting better)the masculine origin but she's a dear and it is easy to treat her as a Lady.

So how would I react to a person in transition who had not had bottom surgery as yet when their panties came off? If they were committed to hormone therapy and femininity and I liked them before they got naked I think we could have a lot of oral and manual fun. I'm not turned on with any sex partner by topping anal sex although I will with condom if it will make my playmate happy.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

I would not, male half of couple here. But if the change was so good I couldn't tell, then I guess I would if I wasn't told.

[PeterJ 949]

I would not, male half of couple here. But if the change was so good I couldn't tell, then I guess I would if I wasn't told.

 

I've played with M2F individuals a couple of times at parties. One of them was the mist beautiful woman in the room. But while surgeons do a remarkable job of constructing a vagina from a penis, one look and you'll know.