I'm falling for my secondary....

[porcialixxx 15]

Ok so I'm a new poster and ask that you bear with me and my blog, as I'm sure it is going to be a little TMI.

 

I really need help because I am a married woman who have been swinging a little over ten years. My hubby is almost 18 years older than myself, and has shown signs of impotence, but also bisexuality.

 

I have in the past used this information as a catalyst to stay excited in the marriage. Meanwhile, my sex drive has increased in leaps and bounds and his is sinking fast. Until the last few years we have always enjoyed on-premise and Jamaican playtimes. However, he has lost interest and excitement for it, but will go through the motions to appease me.

 

Now it has come to a point where I'm not sure if I can continue masturbating every day (in front of him sometimes), and just having sex "on occasion".

 

BTW, when I mention how horny I've been, or how much I wanted him the night before, he will say he was too, but he wont initiate half the time!! UGH!!

 

Anyway, on the off chance that we do have sex, we will talk of how huge some guy is on dvd, and that really gets him going. Just knowing I was taking a huge cock is always the topic of conversation.

 

Now it has come to a point where I just decided to find someone, who fits the "profile" and do what I have to do without hubby. The only consolation is that I come home and tell him how much cock I had and how hot it was.

 

I know what everyone is thinking, "that isn't swinging". He's also said that to me.

 

I have found someone who is very much on my level in bed, but now I'm starting to really like him! I think hubby senses it to, especially when I didn't come home until the next day.

 

What am I going to do? This is the hardest thing I have contemplated in a long time...

 

Did I mention that we were married and divorced before, considering remarrying soon...

 

Help

[porcialixxx 15]

I really would love ideas b/c I lv my hubby and want to be with hm, bt im starting to hv feelings for the other too...

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Please clarify something.

Did I mention that we were married and divorced before, considering remarrying soon.

Are you referring to the guy you are playing with on the side?

[sexychoclit 32]

Yeah, I am a little bit confused. Are you married to the man who is 18 yrs older then you, or the man that you are seeing on the side. Also, if the man who you call your "hubby" isn't legally your "hubby", then I would think about leaving him to pursue something with your man on the side. It sound to me like you are sexually frustrated with your "hubby" and you enjoy sex with the other man more. Not coming home?, not an option for most couples that I know. You need to decide what is more important to you and what will make you happy. Just don't leave your "hubby" hanging on if your heart isn't in it.

[JDApopka 54]

Troll

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Are you still married or not? If you are not still married to him, don't get remarried. If you are still married, he should leave you or vice versa.... because there are so many issues here it's not funny.

 

You've basically said you don't really care how he feels if not in words then by your actions.

 

You said he's shown signs of impotence then perhaps you both need to look into what is causing that? Perhaps your actions towards him are psychologically making the situation worse than it is/ needs to be.

 

Either you love him and you work together to find the root of the problems you are experiencing and FIX them. Or you choose your own sexual satisfaction and move on.

[Bama0468 93]

only have one question...

 

Did/do you really love and respect your husband?

 

It seems if you did you would dump the guy find out why the hubby is broke and heal the marriage before its gone forever

[porcialixxx 15]

UPDATE!!

Thank you all, for your critisicm, comments, and questions...However, hubby and I (yes we are married, just renewed our vows), decided to include my oso, in our life as a 3rd.

It works wonderfully, and we are all very satisfied.

Peace

Porcialixxxx

[duskysub 18]

UPDATE!!

Thank you all, for your critisicm, comments, and questions...However, hubby and I (yes we are married, just renewed our vows), decided to include my oso, in our life as a 3rd.

It works wonderfully, and we are all very satisfied.

Peace

Porcialixxxx

Just FYI, that's not swinging...it's Polyamory! Welcome to the club!

[WesternSwing 504]

UPDATE!!

Thank you all, for your critisicm, comments, and questions...However, hubby and I (yes we are married, just renewed our vows), decided to include my oso, in our life as a 3rd.

It works wonderfully, and we are all very satisfied.

Peace

Porcialixxxx

Congrats!

[GoNatural 104]

I really would love ideas b/c I lv my hubby and want to be with hm, bt im starting to hv feelings for the other too...

 

 

Do you have a rule for yourself that you have to fit into the swinger category? He agreed that it was not swinging either. It is OK to not be monogamous, and not be a swinger. Have you considered polyamory. It doesn't have to be egalitarian polyamory either, where the guys have equal say-so in the relationhsip. The other guy can be your secondary.

 

You point out that you are starting to have feelings for the other guy, and that you still love your hubby. It is only a perspective that makes you feel like you cannot have both. You can have your cake and eat if too, if the other two men willingly agree. The obstacle then would be managing your time. It is not easy, but I believe that it is worth it.

 

You need to visit a forum about the hotwife lifestyle, as well as read a bit about polyamory before making a final decision. The majority of the members here, but not all, are biased towards swinging. Many of them are very intelligent, and can sound very convincing.

[GoNatural 104]

Troll

 

On second thought, this is highly possible. This person presented a fantasy scenario, and acted like it was a problem to have feelings for two people at once. Yet, in their thread title they used a polyamory term, "secondary", which gives away the fact that they know some info about polyamory. This was a sales pitch from a troll.