Achieving Orgasm from Oral Sex

[ATAK 15]

Originally quoted from JustAskJulie in another thread

 

However, it is pretty much impossible for me to come while being eaten in any group situation. It takes a lot to get me off orally anyway and it takes more to get me off when there are distractions.

 

This brings me to a question/concern I have regarding orgasm and oral sex.

 

How many of you cannot achieve orgasm this way? I have always had difficulty (to say the least) achieving orgasm while receiving head. I've never been able to reach orgasm without taking matters into my own hands after the female's jaw is about to lock up from trying! I do not know why this is...I've been with many women that I found more than attractive and am always excited and enjoy very much receiving head, but I'm not able to cum that way. Anyone else have this problem?

 

And why do you think this is? Julie?

[DragonsLair 26]

For my husband, it's more difficult for him to cum during oral sex, but when he does, he says it's a much stronger orgasm. It just takes longer to reach orgasm during oral.

 

And if you're curious about women cumming during oral, that's basically the only way I cum. I haven't had an orgasm with penetration alone. I require some type of clit stimulation whether it be oral or manual, like most of the women out there.

[Brit_Pair 62]

You're not alone. I generally find it takes longer to reach orgasm through oral sex, though I can't recall ever taking matters into my own hands. Hers are always sufficient for the task!

 

I do find during oral sex that I'm much more sensitive to matters of rhythm and pressure and speed: I can be very close to orgasm, but if one of those things loses sync with my body's responses, I can lose my place, so to speak. That can be frustrating for both of us.

 

One question: when you describe this difficulty, are you talking about being pleasured exclusively by your partner's mouth, or does it still occur if and when she's using her hand(s) on your shaft as well?

[OhioCouple 40]

Speaking on behalf of my husband, he can reach orgasm rather quickly (within 10 minutes) with a new partner during oral sex. (He isn't shy to say what he likes). Subsequent experiences he has a hard time doing so and usually it takes penetration in order to achieve an orgasm, either through me or the female half of the couple we are with. We have talked about this and still don't know why it happens this way as it is of concern to him. (He feels like he is letting down the other female.)

 

For myself,I can achieve orgasm either way. I do though tend to reach a climax quicker through oral sex than vaginal sex, even with my husband. It all depends on the approach and the technique being used.

[J & K 16]

I can't either and I think it all stems back from the past when ladies say, "don't cum in my mouth" or "I don't like the taste of cum".

 

So I think it is all mental in that aspect. I wish i could myself with my wife, but she says "no way". So there is the mental barrier to climax when doing it. i never pass it down and enjoy it, but it makes great foreplay for the real sex act.

[ATAK 15]

Originally posted by Brit_Pair

One question: when you describe this difficulty, are you talking about being pleasured exclusively by your partner's mouth, or does it still occur if and when she's using her hand(s) on your shaft as well?

 

It doesn't matter, even a hand job from a woman takes forever and there no guarantee that I'll cum that way either. Climax either comes from masturbation (I guess my hand knows how I like it) or vaginal sex. BJ and HJ just don't get me there, though I do enjoy them very much.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

Speaking on behalf of my husband, he can reach orgasm rather quickly (within 10 minutes) with a new partner during oral sex. (He isn't shy to say what he likes). Subsequent experiences he has a hard time doing so and usually it takes penetration in order to achieve an orgasm, either through me or the female half of the couple we are with. We have talked about this and still don't know why it happens this way as it is of concern to him. (He feels like he is letting down the other female.)

Lori, I don't think your husband need have any concern. If he's anything like myself, I think he's feeling unnecessary guilt over a matter of physiology.

 

I find my second orgasm usually takes longer to arrive than the first, because the urgency of my excitement and desire has been satisfied (or at least had its edge taken off), and because, post-orgasm, I'm somewhat desensitized. And in my humble opinion, a vagina is a more deliciously accommodating environment than any mouth, and as such, is far better suited to coaxing a second, third or whatever orgasm from a cock in just such a condition.

[Vjklander 138]

A lot depends on technique. If it is just a quickie, I will stroke my shaft while she suckles the head, caress my balls and play with my taint and ass. I ejaculate pretty quickly that way. If she is doing a slow sensual pleasuring it might take quite a while and her jaw might get tired. She has learned to relax more while doing that and use her hands more. Either way is a great orgasm for me and the slow sensual one can occasionally give me a hyper-orgasm.

[OhioCouple 40]

Brit_Pair, Actually I should have been a little more clear. I am taking about different meetings with the same couples. Not all in the same evening. It is almost as if the newness has worn off and he just can't achieve orgasm through oral sex with the same person more than once. Not that we have had a lot of experience mind you, but it has happened with each of the couples we regularly see.

 

I think J&K probably hit the nail on the head as there tends to be more mental pressure since none of the women, myself included will swallow. So I am sure that plays a major part in it.

[Ashley 22]

My experience is that a lot of men don't come from oral sex and that a lot of women come only through oral sex...or masturbation.

 

I do need my clit stimulated. To the poster who said she could not come from penetration, my bf found a great little vibrator that attaches to his cock and stimulates me at the same time he is penetrating me. It gives me one terrific orgasm and he gets to experience the pleasure of my coming on his cock...problem solved.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

Brit_Pair, Actually I should have been a little more clear. I am taking about different meetings with the same couples. Not all in the same evening. It is almost as if the newness has worn off and he just can't achieve orgasm through oral sex with the same person more than once.

Firstly, apologies for failing to grasp what you were trying to convey.

 

Secondly, your suggestion that it's as though the newness has worn off is probably right on the money. The first time with someone new is extra exciting, and therefore your husband finds himself easily able to reach orgasm through oral sex, because his mind and his body are both being subjected to high levels of stimulation. Subsequent encounters may be less productive, because - for want of a better expression - he's already been there. His mind is not nearly as excited second or third time around.

 

For me, reaching orgasm through oral sex is always more difficult than through other forms of penetration. It's not that I don't enjoy it: far from it, the sensations are wonderful, and I never tire of seeing my cock sliding into my wife's mouth. However, if I want to reach orgasm, I do find myself introducing a layer of fantasy, as though to compensate for that loss of newness, so that my mind as well as my body are equally excited.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by ATAK

It doesn't matter, even a hand job from a woman takes forever and there no guarantee that I'll cum that way either. Climax either comes from masturbation (I guess my hand knows how I like it) or vaginal sex. BJ and HJ just don't get me there, though I do enjoy them very much.

 

I think I know what you mean. I've always found oral sex and masturbation to be far less effective at producing orgasms than vaginal intercourse - that is, unless my mind is especially excited.

 

When you think about it, the vagina is (at least in part) designed for the purpose of bringing a penis to orgasm, whereas the hand and the mouth are merely adapted for the purpose.

 

However, when the mind is highly stimulated in a sexual sense, it compensates for the fact that a hand or a mouth is less physiologically accommodating than a vagina.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

When it comes down to it, (and I've mentioned this before in other threads), I have to have clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Most people that I have received oral sex from don't do it the way I need it done, especially other woman. That sounds so bad doesn't it? lol.

 

As far as guys go, I've only run across one guy that I could not for the life of me get off orally, and I married him... figured that way I could spend my life trying.

[Brian and Jo 344]

If anything I tend to have an orgasm too quickly during oral sex, especially if my partner focuses her attention on the tip of my penis. When I am fucking someone I last much longer but my orgasm is perhaps not quite as intense compared to oral sex. Jo has her strongest and most intense orgasms during oral sex. She sometimes finds it difficult to cum during intercourse especially if she has already cum one or more times already but she really love it when the guy cums inside her even if she doesn't have an orgasm herself.

[OhioCouple 40]

Brit_Pair,

 

Your last two posts made so much sense. I am going to show these to my husband later this evening. Thank you for your insight.

[p_cnaz 15]

Hubby can orgasm from oral, but it usually takes a very long time, and in several situations when we are with another couple it will take both the other woman and myself trading off before he will cum. He says it feels great, but it just takes forever. As far as penetration I have seen it take him a very long time to orgasm that way also.

 

As for myself, I have the strongest orgasms from oral,and usually within a few minutes. I do not orgasm through penetration without direct stimulation of the clitoris,and then those orgasms are not as strong as the ones I have from oral.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by p_cnaz

Hubby can orgasm from oral, but it usually takes a very long time, and in several situations when we are with another couple it will take both the other woman and myself trading off before he will cum. He says it feels great, but it just takes forever.

Can't imagine why he'd say having two women trading his cock between their mouths feels great!

[p_cnaz 15]

Brit_Pair

 

Just to make sure I wasn't misunderstood...which I don't think I was...lol...the oral taking as long as it does feels good to him the whole time even if he doesn't orgasm...meaning that he doesn't get fustrated, be it one mouth or more....lol... although I am sure that the fact two women are trading off does feel great!...

[Brit_Pair 62]

No, you weren't misunderstood. I'm sure it feels very good to your husband, from start to finish, and regardless of any orgasmic result. My comment was simply the result of the slight shade of jade I'd turned at the thought of him having two women passing his cock back and forth between their mouths. Lucky man!

[Guest FreakyBytch]

All women aren't the same nor are the men, so you just have to experiment and see what works. I personally can achieve orgasm with no physical stimulation at all, and even through all anal sex, an all oral or any other way. But in most women, it is common, that they need clit stimulations because it is the most sensitive part of the vagina. It's not that it HAS to be done, but it helps so much, it seems that way.

[Guest Kendall]

I found that if I keep my legs together during oral sex (so my husband focuses only on my clit which for prob. many many women it is the most sensitive) my husband will gently, GENTLY suck on my clit and just rub his cleanly shaven lips on and around it. I will cum so strong my head hurts. This is the best O I have ever had in my life!

 

Does anyone have any other suggestions for more and different ideas to try?

[Roxysbayou 20]

The only way that I can achieve an orgasm, other than masturbation, is if hubby sucks on my clit. Intercourse alone does not do it for me. It feels great, don't get me wrong, but I can count on one hand the number of times that I have had an orgasm during intercourse. I have read every book there is, and tried every position. I guess I am one of those unlucky ones.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by Kendall

Does anyone have any other suggestions for more and different ideas to try?

My wife usually prefers me to attack her clitoris with my tongue from the inverse position: i.e. looking down her body, as you would in a sixty-nine. That way, my tongue is able to isolate her clitoris more completely. Works for me too, because:

 

(a) She can easily reach my cock with her hand(s) and mouth

(b) It means I don't end up with a cricked neck.

[Guest ya-ya]

Originally posted by Ashley

my bf found a great little vibrator that attaches to his cock and stimulates me at the same time he is penetrating me.

 

Hi Ashley,

I was just reading this thread and was wondering if this little vibrator has a name? maybe I am naive, and I could probably find it at the local sex shop, but is there one that you could recommend?

 

thanks so much!!

 

ya-ya:kissface:

[Ashley 22]

Sorry don't know the name of it but I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding one. It's just a cock ring with a small vibrator attached.

[Guest ya-ya]

Originally posted by Ashley

It's just a cock ring with a small vibrator attached.

 

Thanks Ashley (just a little belated!)

 

Well all you ladies out there (myself included) who have difficulty achieving orgasm thru penetration without extra clitoral stimulation (66% of women is what I learned from my Human Sexuality professor), if you haven't already tried it, this toy sounds as if its worth trying!

 

I was looking on the goodvibes site and I found a few.

[WildFlower 17]

My hubby can cum from oral sex in a short amount of time if I wake him from a dead sleep while sucking on his cock. But if we are awake and it is later in the day I can hardly ever get him to cum this way. He says he has to many things on his mind to totally relax and enjoy the experience.

[suthrngntlmun 15]

I usually have a hard time cumming with straight oral. I do a lot better with 69 but still not as easily as straight intercourse.

 

When I was in VietNam, honestly I never had vaginal or oral sex with any of the girls but, one massage place gave all over massages where the girls used their bodies for the massage and used lots of hot oil. If I didn't cum with her rubbing her body all over me, she'd take a hand full of hot oil and jerk me off. I think I only came once without the hand job.

 

The hot oil hand job was totally fantastic. The girls used both hands and slipped them up and down my cock rather than slipping the skin up and down like I do when I jerk off. It seldom took more than 3 or 4 strokes.

 

I described this technique to a lady about 6 months ago. We'd had sex 30 or so minutes before and she got me off again in about 30 seconds using warm Baby Oil. Needless to say, I did everything she wanted me to do to get her off a couple of more times.

 

As far as oral goes, I'd much rather give than receive. I especially like sound effects. I know if I do a really good job, I'll get invited back for seconds and more.

 

The club I attended (LifeStyle Ranch in Oklawaha, FL) for a while isn't operating anymore due to death of the owner and I can't contact any of the folks I met there. My girlfriend recently got religion so I am doing without right now-----BUMMER.

[suthrngntlmun 15]

I need to add this to my last post. To cum with straight oral, I have to really concentrate on cumming where with straight intercourse, I often have to concentrate on not cumming. If it gets too intense, I often pull out and go down on her or at least try to keep her momentum up with my hand.

[hmr 25]

Originally posted by ya-ya

I was just reading this thread and was wondering if this little vibrator has a name? thanks so much!!

ya-ya:kissface:

 

Ours is the Duo Pleasure Ring. You should be able to find it at your local sex toy store. Good luck in your search. It is worth it!

[good times 991]

It takes me a little longer with oral but I usually have no problem having an orgasm. My wife, on the other hand, often tells guys that if they are trying to make her cum by all that licking it is more likely their tongue will fall off first. The only thing that works for her is the finger or the vibrator on the clitoris.

[mifligirl25 15]

Maybe it's not your wife but the person giving the oral sex. every woman is built anatomically different, the trick is to find that one spot and stay there!!!

[hmr 25]

I agree mifligirl. A lot of it depends on technique! It also depends on the particular likes of the woman. Many of the women I have met prefer direct, and total clitoral stimulation. I, on the other hand prefer clitoral stimulation mixed with licks on my erogenous zones. My inner thighs, the outer lips, pubic region,etc.,then back to my clit.

 

good times, does your wife know what feels best to her? If she does, she should pass that info along . Guys don't mind a little direction during play! If she doesn't, practice until she figures it out .

[good times 991]

Actually it is not that she can't achieve orgasm through oral, it just takes her a while to have an orgasm no matter what the method. In fact she says her very first orgasm ever was through oral stimulation. I can bring her to orgasm using oral but she says with someone new it never happens. She says that knowing it usually takes her a while to have an orgasm she is thinking about the poor guy's tongue getting tired instead of getting in the right mindset to have an orgasm. She says she prefers oral as foreplay, rather than as the final act. Recently she had an experience with a guy who insisted he could give her an orgasm through oral, after a considerable time elapsed, most of which she says she spent trying to form an explanation that wouldn't hurt his feelings, she finally told him it wasn't going to happen with oral tonight, but not to feel bad as it hardly ever works for her. A funny side note to that experience is it happened in a hot tub and we were in there so long we all came out looking like prunes.

[N&G 207]

I agree with HMR and Mifligirl25. Every woman is different and what works with one person does not always work with another. Men were not born knowing how to satisfy a woman. I usually ask my partner to let me know if I'm not in the right spot or if she would like me to do something different. Some tell me and unfortunately some do not. Communication is the key.

[hmr 25]

Maybe it is time your wife stops thinking and starts enjoying! If she is concentrating on whether or not her play partner's tongue is going to get tired, how in the world can she enjoy herself? Her brain is all clogged up with BS. At that particular moment she is suppose to be the one he is worried about!

 

From what you said, she enjoys oral and knows what she likes.

It sounds like she needs to cut loose and let herself go! Take the science out of it, take the what if? out of it, and just let her body ENJOY it. Take control, and tell the guy what feels good and what feel the best. All guys want to learns how to eat pussy better!

 

That's only my opinion from what I gathered. I could be off in left field somewhere. I used to be similar when it came to swinging in general. Everything was "so - so". Now I allow myself to enjoy everything by not concentrating all the time. I don't what if? any more. We are all human, and no one is perfect. Even if they think they are!

[Tantra 48]

Good Times, was that poor guy underwater trying to do this?

[good times 991]

No, he wasn't under water the whole time, he actually lifted her up with his arms and I was amazed at his upper body stamina.

 

P is aware she has a problem with Thinking instead of enjoying and she has been working on it, and in fact she has gotten much better lately. A lot of the preceding advice is pretty much how my end of the conversation goes when we discuss it. In fact this thread has resulted in us revisiting the topic just this weekend.

[PrtyinDuo 18]

We think this depends entirely on the situation and mindset of both partners.If I'm highly arroused and especially if its been awhile between orgasms.(talkin days now)she can make me cum quickly no matter wether its oral,vaginal or mutual masturbation.And if shes really in the mood to suck it,well,ten minutes even might be a long wait!Same works for her.If shes really wet,there might be no need for clitoral stimulation.Have found that to be true with others we swing with also.Thats not to say that sometimes being able to cum aint hard.But the pleasure one enjoys while building up to that point is priceless...

[Maine 15]

hmmm I have the same problem I thought it was just me. When having sex I can cum/ orgasm or what not. When giving head can not. It's not like I don't like getting head because all guys do. I don't know if it helps when the girl says tell me when...tell me...I can't... When I talk to a group of friends and sex, head and or eating out there surprised...

 

Any comments?

[gsu22 187]

It takes forever for me to cum from oral......it feels so good but for some reason it only makes her jaw tired. Penetration gets me off really quickly......I often have to slow down a lot and control myself........I wish I would cum quicker from oral because I love cumming in a woman's mouth like every other guy I'm sure and seeing her reaction.

[Maine 15]

Oh, I thought it was just me phew... lol

 

Maybe it's the pressure.