House Parties to avoid the 4 way match problem

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

This is something that Pet and I discussed when we were at Splash and something I've thought about posting about then I read Socolais response in another thread:

 

.....We play at house parties and that makes those 4-way chemistry concerns almost a non-issue. We individually hook up with whomever it works out with. ....

 

There was more to the post but this is the part that caught my attention and fits in with this thread.

 

When Pet and I were at Splash we discussed and agreed that in a group room play situation if one of us finds someone we want to be with it doesn't have to be a couple/couple match so long as both of us are playing and no one is being left out. As it turned out due to other issues we never got the opportunity to try this out. But since discussing it with him I had wanted to bring up the topic here and see if others went to house parties and/or played in group rooms with the same attitude? When you go to house parties do you still expect to find a COUPLE that you both mesh with or just hope to find 2 people that you both mesh with regardless of whether they are in the same couple (or a couple at all)?

[two42lovers 273]

At parties we nearly always split up and play with whomever each of us wants to. Doesn't have to be same room, and it isn't an issue if the other is playing or not. We check in with each other from time to time during the evening, to make sure all is well. Sometimes we link up and play with other couples 2-on-2 during the evening, and we always end the evening having sex with each other. We share what happened earlier with each other's partners. It's always a big turn on.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

At house parties, we tend to act as free agents, even though we present ourselves as a couple under virtually any other circumstance. Finding a four-way connection can be an exercise in frustration, especially at a house party with so many distractions around you, so it's easier for each of us to find someone we like and just go for it. If we do play as a couple, it's usually with another couple that we already know.

[N&G 207]

At any house party that we go to we are "singles" as soon as we walk through the door. I find a partner and she finds a partner on her own. Seldom does anybody play as a couple and I may hardly see my S.O. all night. The downside is that one of us may spend more time warming the couch than playing but that doesn't happen too often.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We look for couples first, but if we do not find a couple that we are both attracted to then, we split up and do our own thing. Just as long as we are both having fun. Not fun as in sexual fun, but enjoying ourselves or having a good time.

[Hot Raleigh Cpl 164]

At a party, either of us can go play. We let the other know what we're doing and share details afterwards.

[spvcouple 123]

Yup, we have to agree with the general consensus. When we get to a house party we often mingle at first as a couple, then individually. We play with whoever strikes our fancy. We check in on each other from time to time, just to make sure that the other is having a fun (and safe) time. Sometimes joining in on the fun they are having with others.

House parties DO relieve the problem of finding a 4-way attraction.

[wetpanties 5]

We haven't been to a house party yet but we have accepted an invitation to one in a few weeks and we're both looking forward to it. We've decided that we would first look for another couple to play with. If we can't connect with a couple, we would like find others to join us. We usually don't play on the first date (it has happened but it's not the norm) but we're open to the idea if we meet the right people, however, we probably aren't going to compromise our same room policy. We're open to suggestions.

[lustylearning 705]

Wow. I'd honestly never considered going to a house party and playing like a single. When we've gone to house parties, there's always been at least one couple there we feel comfortable with. We've gotten around the 4-way match things in a group room before. Hmmm... chewing on that idea now:EG:

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We began with a rule, "two-by-two swap only." We eventually developed the understanding that we would not hold each other back from enjoying sex with another person at a party. Did not have to be discussed much, actually. Just started to happen and nobody felt bad about it. There have even been times when JoAnn has found a partner or two over the course of an evening but I do not. OK with me. If, however, we are in a developing relationship with a couple, neither of us allows the other to get too far ahead. Yes, the party situation is what makes the difference.

 

~Michael

[Pepper & Drew 384]

We haven't been to a house party yet but we have accepted an invitation to one in a few weeks and we're both looking forward to it. We've decided that we would first look for another couple to play with. If we can't connect with a couple, we would like find others to join us. We usually don't play on the first date (it has happened but it's not the norm) but we're open to the idea if we meet the right people, however, we probably aren't going to compromise our same room policy. We're open to suggestions.

 

I suggest you make sure you're clear on what's ok and what's not ok before you get to the house party. They are a totally different ballgame than an off premises club, or meeting another couple one-on-one. They tend to move more quickly, and if most of the attendees know each other, the warp-speed with which the playing starts may take you by surprise.

 

For us, house parties are the easiest way for us to not have to worry about the 4way attraction.

 

Pepper

[socolais 696]

Julie, I'm glad you asked this question. We observed this from the start and just assumed it was normal and everyone knew that - kind of like "the sun rises in the east". I'm glad that assumption turned out to be consistent with other's observations. My wife and I hooked up with a couple one time and didn't learn that they were a couple till later in the party - we thought it was cool at the time.

 

I have to agree with Pepper, some parties are hard core swinging, we found one of those. But even with that, they still respected "no" and we went at our pace even though it was different from the remainder of the crowd. We know where to go if we ever get in a mood for an intense party.

[des1re06 200]

I absolutely agree that house parties are a great way to find someone you're attracted to without having to worry about "are all 4 attracted".

 

We split up and enjoy whomever we like without that worry. Afterwards, we discuss who we were with, did we enjoy them, and would we like to see them again.

 

At our parties, the ladies usually start things off with an all female orgy. It tends to get the engines fired up quickly.

 

I love house parties!

 

Mrs. D

[TNT 1,155]

When you go to house parties do you still expect to find a COUPLE that you both mesh with or just hope to find 2 people that you both mesh with regardless of whether they are in the same couple (or a couple at all)?

 

 

We just hope to find someone we're interested in playing with...couple, single, doesn't matter. Most of the house parties we go to usually wind up being an orgy by the end of the night so, couple or single becomes a moot point.

 

Each party is a bit different so we try and remain flexible and just go with the flow. There are times we stick together and times that when we get home we'll ask "So, who all did you play with tonight?"

 

 

Teresa

[shes_in_parties 22]

We did the date thing for so long, and at first, when we went to parties, we only played together (I think sadly due to my, Mr. SIPs', insecurities). We took some time off to have a baby and when we started going to parties again it felt OK and natural to play separately if we felt like it. I think that's definitely why we prefer to find parties - the 4-way match thing is pretty hard to find, and when you have limited free time and childcare, why take the risk that you'll end up disappointed? Happened too many times.

[vasilie 15]

we've never been to a swingers club, but really love parties for many reasons including the fact that there are so many different couples there, that choosing just one play mate is sometimes just impossible and for that we tyically just play it as it cums as long as we are both enjoying ourselves we are down for what ever.

[N&G 207]

We haven't been to a house party yet but we have accepted an invitation to one in a few weeks and we're both looking forward to it. We've decided that we would first look for another couple to play with. If we can't connect with a couple, we would like find others to join us. We usually don't play on the first date (it has happened but it's not the norm) but we're open to the idea if we meet the right people, however, we probably aren't going to compromise our same room policy. We're open to suggestions.

 

I would suggest that you speak with the hosts to find out how people generally play. If everyone else plays separately you will need to find another couple very early during the social time. Once people start to play the room will usually empty quickly and no couples will be left, just individuals. The same goes for mattress space. If there are generally multiple couples sharing a bed you may be waiting for a while to get a bed all to yourselves. Same room requirements can be tough if there are a lot of guests and few bedrooms.

[jimnjan 16]

I think it depends on how big the house party is, and what the other couples are ok with. Most of the ones we've been too, it's been couple/couple. Jim & I are fine with going off on our own, but others may not be.

[MrkLin 393]

We like house parties for just this reason. Lin can feel free to play with any man (or men) she wishes, and I'm not by default obligated to play with his partner if there's no attraction, or we don't hit it off right away. We have yet to find another couple at a party that isn't comfortable with this arrangement, but if that were the case, I'm sure they'd meet a couple at a party in which to spend some alone time with.

 

Parties offer play options usually not available at a club or with just meeting another couple. Specifically, the couples attending a party usually already know each other pretty well, so there's no 'just meeting jitters.' The fact that it's somebody's home seems to make people a bit more comfortable than at a club or other semi-public place. At a party, the environment is a bit easier to control - i.e. the volume or style of music, temperature, etc...

 

Overall, parties are our favorite way to swing.

[Willing29 66]

They tend to move more quickly, and if most of the attendees know each other, the warp-speed with which the playing starts may take you by surprise.

Pepper

Wow, I'm glad I found this thread. We went to a party recently and just like you said it was in warp-speed, and my wife and I weren't sure it they are all like that (not that it was a problem since we had lots of fun). We both looked at each other and jumped right in.

[PB&J 1,086]

Ah, the house party.. we went to our first one when we were relative newbies, and after having it described to us by our new friends who sponsored us, I warned my husband that there was a chance that I'd just disappear from sight, so he'd better be prepared, which was ok with him. It did happen just that way, and he says he was a little taken aback, but quickly adjusted and went on to have a good time of his own. Several parties later, we still operate that way- we arrive together and leave together, but in between- whew! I have a friend there where the 4-way spark thing just ain't happening between the couples, but the party gives us a chance to have a great time together without any issues.

[CXXC 435]

We feel that house parties are completely different than clubs, resorts or meet and greets. Safety and comfort are our biggest concerns when going to the later. At house parties, we are both free to engage in the activities with whomever we please. If either one of us is without a playmate at a party, we are always able to join in with our partner.

[MrkLin 393]

Sooooo.... Am I the only one thinking that we need to have a Swinger's Board House Party? Surely there's someone with a big enough house located in the middle of the US who wouldn't mind hosting say a hundred couples from all over the continent...

[NCfuncouple98 367]

Just give us the address, we'll be there!

 

Sooooo.... Am I the only one thinking that we need to have a Swinger's Board House Party? Surely there's someone with a big enough house located in the middle of the US who wouldn't mind hosting say a hundred couples from all over the continent...

[LFM2 1,482]

I can't even imagine wandering away from Dave to play with someone else on my own. Actually, we'd find someone or find that wonderful couple to play with before we played on our own.

 

We really haven't felt it's hard to find a foursome to get along with and if play ensues, we're all good with it.

[MrkLin 393]

I can't even imagine wandering away from Dave to play with someone else on my own. Actually, we'd find someone or find that wonderful couple to play with before we played on our own.

 

I'm really curious here - and I'm not picking on you. Don't you find the option of playing with the man of your choice while Dave plays with the woman of his choice (not necessarily the same couple) the least bit intriguing? You might play in the same room, at the same time, but not necessarily with a couple. You really have no interest in that?

 

As I said, I'm just curious - nothing more.

[LFM2 1,482]

I'm really curious here - and I'm not picking on you. Don't you find the option of playing with the man of your choice while Dave plays with the woman of his choice (not necessarily the same couple) the least bit intriguing? You might play in the same room, at the same time, but not necessarily with a couple. You really have no interest in that?

 

As I said, I'm just curious - nothing more.

 

Oh hell, go ahead and pick.

 

The scenario you describe would work for us. Dave and I have never done a separate room thing. We're very much a same room type of couple. Now, if I found a guy and he found a gal, not necessarily a couple, that would be fine, as long as it was in the same room. We'll have to talk more about this. I know he read this thread because I asked him if he did (pointed it out on the computer screen).... but the kids were in the room and he didn't want to expand on the conversation. I'll let you know what happened.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

I'm really curious here - and I'm not picking on you. Don't you find the option of playing with the man of your choice while Dave plays with the woman of his choice (not necessarily the same couple) the least bit intriguing? You might play in the same room, at the same time, but not necessarily with a couple. You really have no interest in that?

 

As I said, I'm just curious - nothing more.

 

When Mr NC and I first read this thread, we had the same thoughts as LFM. No interested in running off separately at a house party. We want to swing together. But, your scenario does put a different spin on it - and that would be intriguing. Still the same room, so why not?

[MrkLin 393]

The scenario I described happens all the time at our parties. One of our favorite couples insist on a same room situation, every one of our other guests know that, and everyone is fine with it. So, they might play with a couple, or they might play with people who are not a couple - it just depends on what happens and who they meet at that particular party.

 

That's what I meant when I said we like parties because everyone is free to play with anyone they hit it off with - not necessarily a couple. I didn't necessarily mean that couples split up upon entering the house and don't see each other again until it's time to go home (our house just isn't big enough for that, but I digress...) I guess it's just having that option open to us that makes the difference.

[LFM2 1,482]

I'll let you know what happened.

 

Well, we did a minute amount of talking. Ended up in the bedroom "talking" about other things. I think we were just excited that both of the kids were gone at the same time.

[MrkLin 393]

I think we were just excited that both of the kids were gone at the same time.

 

I hear ya!

 

I'm sooooooo glad we're beyond that. Our youngest is 25 and in the Navy, but we remember those days all too well. It seemed that the door had hardly closed, and we were almost running down the hallway, leaving a trail of clothes behind us...

[wlhotwife 63]

We went to our first house party last weekend and had discussed this issue in the car on the way there. We concluded that we were open to the idea of playing seperately, as long as neither of us was left alone.

 

As it turned out, it was a moot point. The play space was a big open area with several mattresses and chairs. Everybody was playing with each other, and it was a very fluid kind of scene. It turned out we each played with nearly all of the guests at one point or another, sometimes together, but usually seperate. But since we were in the same room, it didn't seem like we were seperate.

Our best lifestyle experience to date!

[MrkLin 393]

Wow! What a great first house party experience! I'm so glad to hear that you had a good time. You do need to know, however, that not all house parties turn out that way. We, for instance, don't have the room for an arrangement like that. I sure wish we did, though - that sounds like an absolute blast. In a lot of cases a party held in a smaller home will require people to move things into a bedroom. In that case, the concerns you had before your first party will be valid. I'd keep discussing it - just in case.

[twoforone100 45]

It is what we like about house parties.. to mix and match..... Our rule is under that roof we are good... we might not be in the same room....