Why I'm going to Swinger Hell

[sweet_tna 680]

Okay, we’ve all done something (or thought of doing something) that’s probably a swinging “no-no”. So now it’s time to ‘fess up—or make something up . . . let’s have fun with this.

 

We’re going to Swinger Hell for:

 

~Shopping for lingerie with a playmate

 

=)

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Offering to take your playmate to a shooting range for her birthday.

 

(ahem)

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

 

We’re going to Swinger Hell for:

 

~Shopping for lingerie with a playmate

 

=)

 

Shouldn't that be "shopping for lingerie withOUT a playmate"?

 

and is swinger hell a good thing or a bad thing? I'm confused!

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Well, that depends. If you like an eternity of going down on Rosie O'Donnell and Andy Dick, then I guess it's a good thing.

 

(Ugh, I feel like I need a shower for just typing that)

[cupl4fun 361]

Wouldn't swinger hell be no sex at all not even with yourself? Wait that sounds like where I grew up. I grew up in hell! Or was it the South?

[sweet_tna 680]

Swinger Hell is supposed to be a bad thing . . . the kind of stuff that would cause revocation of your swinger card.

 

Like . . . asking your playmate to babysit for you.

 

=)

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Swinger Hell is supposed to be a bad thing . . . the kind of stuff that would cause revocation of your swinger card.

 

Like . . . asking your playmate to babysit for you.

 

...and then asking his wife if she wants to go out and party.

[MapleSwingers 15]

Wow, we have some ex-swinger friends who caused drama for us that used to babysit for each other all the time! I'm not sure if we could trust someone we met a month ago to babysit our kids...they maybe sexy and great in bed, but how are they on the crazy scale? Rather not have our kids scared for life, but hey, that's just me.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Swinger Hell is supposed to be a bad thing . . . the kind of stuff that would cause revocation of your swinger card.

 

Like . . . asking your playmate to babysit for you.

 

=)

 

In that case, I go back to my earlier statement of why would shopping for lingerie WITH a playmate send you to hell?

 

Shopping for lingerie ALONE should send you to swinger hell.

[MIbbwcpl 67]

I love my lover.

[sweet_tna 680]

In that case, I go back to my earlier statement of why would shopping for lingerie WITH a playmate send you to hell?

 

Shopping for lingerie ALONE should send you to swinger hell.

 

Okay, point taken. What about . . . discussing last wishes/funeral preferences with a playmate?

 

=)

[bendmeovernow 17]

Now I didn't do it... but a guy I know will talk about his ex wives and ex girl friends after sex... he spends more time talking about them than the sexual acts themselves. I would think that would send you to swinger hell.

[TNT 1,155]

I'll give this a shot...I'm going to swinger hell because I asked a swinger friend how much paint would it take to paint the outside of my house...he used to be a painter so hell, he should be able to give me an estimate on the amount I need...I've also asked him and his wife to keep an eye on the kids while Ted and I went to Jamaica...not babysit...just check on them...the kids had their number if they needed anything.

 

Can you tell, these are more than just swinger friends, we occasionally have sex with? Hmmm, since they are swinger friends that have become close friends, maybe I won't go to swinger hell

[WildMiCouple 325]

This happened the first time we played with a couple that we're now pretty good friends with. We had been playing in their living room, and after I had finished with the other wife, we both kicked back and watched Tam finish off the husband with a bj. After she finished swallowing, she looks up with a scrunched up face and says "Boy, that was bitter." We all had a good long laugh over that one. Now, whenever we see them, he lets Tam know he's quit drinking coffee and eating a lot of pineapple

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm going to swinger hell....

 

For saying I'm going to a social, getting dressed to go to said social, then showing up and not going in because it appeared to be dead.

 

I'm guessing too many people like me are why some socials don't get good turnout. If we'd all just go in anyway, there'd be more people there.

[CXXC 435]

I've never done this, but it would be funny (to me at least)

 

Handing out number tickets to the ladies at an on-premise club and telling them I will be calling their number shortly! HA HA HA!

 

I KNOW I would go to swingers hell for that. OH! And the looks on their faces would be priceless.

[JustMrJ 178]

CXXC,

 

I actually had an idea where we would hand out "Dance Cards" to people as they arrived. Then let them go get their cards filled as the party wore on... now I'm not sure that would be such a good idea... hmmm

 

We're going to swingers hell because we haven't contacted some of our playmates outside of the parties as we should... have to change that so we can go back to swingers heaven.

[Speed & Trixie 163]

Hmm...Speed and I are such angels....

 

We could go to swinger hell tonight, though, if we got drunk and "outted" our couple friends in front of their vanilla friends. On the husband's birthday.

 

We would never do that of course. But that should send you right to swinger hell in a swinging hand basket!

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I've never done this, but it would be funny (to me at least)

 

Handing out number tickets to the ladies at an on-premise club and telling them I will be calling their number shortly! HA HA HA!

 

I KNOW I would go to swingers hell for that. OH! And the looks on their faces would be priceless.

 

You know, if someone set up one of those take-a-number machines with the "Now Serving" # (and LED sign), at a swinger's club, it would get some interesting looks and probably start some conversations

[PeeTWheatstraw 122]

I'm going to swinger hell....

 

For saying I'm going to a social, getting dressed to go to said social, then showing up and not going in because it appeared to be dead.

 

I'm guessing too many people like me are why some socials don't get good turnout. If we'd all just go in anyway, there'd be more people there.

 

Now this is one of the realest post I have seen in a while...I host parties and people always say there are too many single guys....I say no...just not enough couples/single females show up!

[PeeTWheatstraw 122]

I am going to swinger's hell for ditching a friends party in MD....to go chase new pussy in PA! Hey what can I say...I gotta thing for those PA gals!

[CXXC 435]

Mrs. CXXC believes that she would go to swinger hell if she coaxed an interested but unwilling individual or couple into swinging with her/us.

 

To her Swinger Hell would be like going to a Lifestyle resort, having to be constantly fully clothed and having to carry and read aloud from the bible.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Mrs. CXXC believes that she would go to swinger hell if she coaxed an interested but unwilling individual or couple into swinging with her/us.

 

To her Swinger Hell would be like going to a Lifestyle resort, having to be constantly fully clothed and having to carry and read aloud from the bible.

 

I dunno, the parts about multiple wives, sharing wives, etc. Those are pretty good

[Speed & Trixie 163]

I've been picturing swinger hell more like Mrs. CXXC's version. Except instead of a Bible, I'm holding a tray of drinks. I'm allowed to try to interact with people but get ignored or rejected.

[CXXC 435]

Ok! I am starting to have nightmares here. Mrs. CXXC and I are going to be VERY Careful from now on. Swinger Hell is just too horrible

[LFM2 1,482]

The thought of revocation of our swinger card is enough to make us tow the line.

[JustMrJ 178]

Swingers hell: House Parties

 

1. A house party where all the men are flaccid and all the women are cold fish.

 

2. You are invited to a house party only to arrive and find it's an Amway meeting.

(I can say that, I WAS an Amway Distributor for nearly two years.)

 

3. A house party where everyone wants to play, but just not with you.

[CXXC 435]

Swingers hell: House Parties

 

1. A house party where all the men are flaccid and all the women are cold fish.

 

2. You are invited to a house party only to arrive and find it's an Amway meeting.

(I can say that, I WAS an Amway Distributor for nearly two years.)

 

3. A house party where everyone wants to play, but just not with you.

 

I couldnt help it....

 

A swingers club where the keg has a hole in it and none of the women do!

[LFM2 1,482]

I couldnt help it....

 

A swingers club where the keg has a hole in it and none of the women do!

 

OH MY HELL!!! Yes that is HELL!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think the turn of this thread "what IS swinger hell" is as equally entertaining as some of the things people are going to swinger hell for.

 

My swinger hell... being forced to go to a swinger party/club and everyone around me is having a great time but I'm never going to be allowed to join in, no matter how many times people ask me.

[jedi6942 18]

Julie,

 

I seem to live in that swinger hell you speak of.

[chakka 28]

I think any playmate that gives me a hicky, where I can't hide it, should go to Swinger Hell. It has happened to me. Won't happen again!

[Guest ENCRYPTEDTX]

I know I am going to "Swinger Hell" for this one:

 

I was playing with a couple that I had been with multiple times. We are/were very close friends. Mr Couple and I are doing our best to please Mrs Couple. Mr Couple tires from the Marathon Sex and steps out to get re-hydrate stretch and carb-up for the last leg of the marathon.

 

Mrs Couple and I have both secretly wanted this one on one time and have gotten it to a point- Mr Couple was usually only moments away.

 

Mrs Couple and I are getting really hot and heavy. Mrs Couple has kegel muscles that make charcoal into diamonds, and is experiences an enormous kegel clenching (condom grabbing) orgasm. What feels awesome, now has an even better feel as we are feeling each other naturally.

 

Feeling this I SHOULD have broken out the Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass for an inquisitive look. The wrong head was thinking throughout the next few mutual orgasms.

 

We were eventually "caught" and both fessed up to our indiscretions. Again all 3 of us are very very close, if this had been anyone else the cranium would have stepped in.

 

We talked about what happened and we both agreed that we were indeed very into it for the first mutual orgasm. We knew the gig was up for the remaining but both played mute.

 

The outcome was very positive and after talking over everything it was decided that we would play naturally from then on.

 

In any other situation this would not have happened or continued....But I'm still going to "Swinger Hell" for it.

[sweet_tna 680]

Some of my friends and I are all headed for Swinger Hell together.

 

At a weekend getaway, several of us toddled up the stairs of the B&B to our rooms. Some folks were tired, some were inebriated, and some of us were feeling frisky. I'd gotten an invite from "Mr. Winters" to join him in his room. Mr. Sweet was practically comatose, but I passed the request on to him, fully expecting a negative response. He said, "That's fine, go have fun." I asked him at least three times if he was sure, and got the same response each time. So I started upstairs, only to be stopped by Mr. Winters again. Mrs. Winters was also a victim of the Sand Man, but did not wish to interfere with our fun. So Mr. Winters and I decided she could crash in my room with Mr. Sweet, who was already asleep.

 

So we headed upstairs, and proceeded to have a round of mind-blowing sex. We were almost finished, when the couple in the room next door wandered in. "Mr. Moon" announced that he has worn the wife out, but could still use some assistance. Without breaking stride, I told Mr. Moon that I'd be happy to help him out--after Mr. Winters and I finished what we were doing. Mr. and Mrs. Moon commenced playing with each other while they waited for Mr. Winters and me to finish. Mr. Winters had barely rolled off the bed before Mr. Moon took his place.

 

Mr. Winters returned from the restroom, but was having trouble finding room on HIS bed, so I suggested to the Moons that we head to their room. Once we finished there, I had to sneak back into Mr. Winter's room to get my clothes (and try not to wake him), then go downstairs to my room and wake his wife up and send her to her own room.

 

We're looking to see if they'll give us a group discount on our hand baskets . . .

 

=)

[The Fuse 1,012]

Sweet_tna,

 

Sounds more like swinger Heaven to me. Sounds wonderful. Hopefully people didn't mind shuffling around a bit while sleepy.

[shes_in_parties 22]

Swinger Hell = Boston And I was RAISED here.

 

We're going to hell for the time we went to the house of some new swinger friends and drank all their beer without fucking them

[DocWill 83]

Here’s ours:

 

Reverse seducing a vanilla couple into thinking they wanted to soft swap with us- getting them to do it under the premise that it was their idea- and then having her deal with “buyer’s remorse” two days later when the she told us how bad she felt the next day because of her religious beliefs.

 

It’s not as bad as it sounds- we didn’t play any games on our part, but we did want to hook-up with them after months of sexual tension- we just didn’t want to be the ones to initiate the action and knew that the other wife would. We completely underestimated what her reaction would be after the fact.

 

The only saving grace we have is that this woman is completely bat shit crazy. Two weeks later she was asking us for a full swap. We knew she was nuts- and we ignored it. Don’t worry, we won’t entertain them again… too much potential drama.

 

Lesson learned- don’t purposely get involved with your attractive vanilla friends until you KNOW, up front, they’re secure enough, and stable enough, to deal with the next day when all the adrenaline and orgasms are gone.

[toofartoosee 31]

Hell, purgatory, regret, I'm not sure which is which. But I will say I have been tormented by my selfish action action one night several months back. Seeing that it the eve of our anniversary I will confess my short comings to you all here.

 

Big kickin house party. Lot O action. Was getting my drink on, and having a great time. Talking with a girl whom I had played with before several times, wife likes here a lot. Next thing I know she talking with two more girls, both of which I have played with before. They all start kissing each other while giving me rubs, and kisses too. Three really cranked up sex machines, all Bi, and ready to go. Cherry on the top! one more girl sees what going, and jumps in on the action. Four girls kissing rubbing, talking dirty, and tell me they want to run me through wringer. At this point all I can do is smile , and bob my head like some plastic bobble head on a dash board of some old pick up truck going down a bad country road.

 

Here's the hell part, they grab me , and start to look for open room. During this time I see wife, she good for group stuff I try to grab her, figuring I can get her caught in the back draft of this crazy thing. I'm not talking so good because I have tequila, and my balls in my mouth. She start to follow along, we all end up in like the biggest open room ever... Talking like 40 by 60.. I start going at in this big pile of turned on women. But wife is just watching, not joining. She standing back thinking "you shit , we were supposed to play together, now your into a bunch of chicks in an open room". (we both know all these girls, not just some fresh hook ups) She then gets pissed off comes over lets me have the old, what the fuck!!!! I get dressed, then informed on how not to do things. Rest of the night is wrecked, not to mention the next couple of weeks I'm in the doghouse.... Yes I know I suck, and I still have regrets, which is the driving force to open the DOOR TO HELL...

[duo33470 15]

I know of a guy who used to bring prostitutes to swinger parties and pass her off as his wife...

 

He would get to fuck someone's wife while the other poor husband was just fucking a prostitute.

[Willing29 66]

Maybe......

For getting a BJ from our friend on the back deck in plain view through the kitchen window. This was not a problem until my teenage son came home unexpectedly and walked into the kitchen turning on the lights . Nothing has ever been said so we are still not sure if he saw anything or was totally grossed out and blocked out of his memory. But my wife was on the side of the deck with another friend on the chaise lounge so she will be right there next to me.

[sextoyfancy 15]

I love my lover.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

I'm sure that I'm going to swinger hell for a ton of indescretions. This one comes to mind even if I did't do it on purpous.

 

We were at a party and I was chatting my way around the room, when I came to a good friend of mine, male, and he was talking to a new single female. I being the gentleman I am introduced myself to her and joined in on their conversation (it was early in the night, way before play time). So it seems that I took over the conversation, and then a good slow song came on and I asked her to dance, we danced, flirted and then seperated till later when we danced and flirted, and then L and I took her back to our room for the night. Good times right? Anyway, it turns out that my friend had spent 2 months talking to this woman, online and on the phone, he and his wife were supposed to hook up with her, it was all planned. So I am guilty of cock blocking a good friend and his wife. Thankfully he forgave me and now we laugh about it.

 

Another time we made plans to join some friends in their room after a party, after we talked to them we got invited to another couples room (all 4 of us) so I texed the first couple and told them of the change of plans, he texted back that they would join us in a bit. I then turned my phone to vibrate so as not to disturb the fun. The first couple never showed up. When I checked my phone 2 hours later I found out I had sent the wrong room number to the couple.

 

there are plenty more stupid things that I have done....

 

MR.

[LuvliLady 15]

Met a single man (call him NewMan) through a swingers website. He had only ever been with two women in his entire life (He was 37, I was 44) I had been with more woman than that and it was like he was the closest thing to a virgin I could find. He was unsure about playing and very nervous. So Mr.Luvli and I went for dinner with him to make him more comfortable. He comes back to the house and Mr. Luvli disappears to give us some time alone. NewMan starts to kiss me and is shaking so hard, it's like he's shivering, and he decides he needs to leave.

 

Fast forward 3 weeks, and NewMan has been sending emails and really wants to be with LuvliLady. So we arrange for him to come over on a Saturday afternoon while Mr. Luvli is working. NewMan and LuvliLady have an amazing 2 hours together...he was better than LuvliLady thought he would be. He leaves.

 

Fast forward a few hours and LuvliLady gets an email from NewMan, stating that he chose to play instead of his morals, and he is having trouble looking at himself in the mirror. He cannot believe that he was with a married woman. He had sex for the wrong reasons and should not have done it, and apologized to LuvliLady for his indiscretions.

 

Meanwhile, Mr. Luvli laughs at this, because he knew that the reason I wanted to be with NewMan was because he was inexperienced, and doubting what to do, and wanted to show him what a real woman can do in the bedroom. So yes, I persuaded and convinced NewMan to come have sex, under the wrong pretense, and he was devastated. Meanwhile, I loved being able to say that he was 37, and I increased the number of woman that he's slept with by 50%.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm going to swinger hell because I booked our trip to Jamaica at a non-swinger resort. At least it's couples only and 2 doors down from Hedo (a day pass may be in order).

[New2swinging225 53]

I'm sure that I could tell a few tales of why we are going to swingers Hell, but I'm not quite ready to confess yet! However, we once played with a single male who should be going there! We had rented a hotel room for a night of swapping, but it hadn't panned out with the intended couple, so instead of wasting a hotel room the missus checks out AFF on her trusty smartphone and gets an SM she's been talking to, to meet us. Anyways, we probably wouldn't have played with him after meeting him except that we had called on him rather late... and we were horny as hell! However, we finish playing and he won't leave! Keeps talking about life, work, cars, and isn't getting the hint! We're yawning, climbing beneath the sheets, doing everything we can to drop the hint, before the wife finally tells him to get out! Yup, he might be going down.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Because I don't make time for swinging nearly often enough...