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We haven't started yet..read about everything.

2questions:

is shaving for men a requirement?

condoms, wife hates them as do I, I know about STDs..but I have also read that swingers don't seem to them

 

Is shaving required of men? Not among the crowd with whom we run.

 

Do swingers have STIs? Yes, they do. The name of the game is managing risk. Choose your partners carefully, swinger or not, and you reduce your risk. Use condoms, and your reduce your risk. Have a gang bang while not using condoms, your increase your risk. Eight years of bareback in the lifestyle, picking up an STI happened to my wife and I twice. Happily, something innocuous on both occasions.

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We haven't started yet..read about everything.

2questions:

is shaving for men a requirement?

condoms, wife hates them as do I, I know about STDs..but I have also read that swingers don't seem to them

 

In MD's words: "Hairy nuts are not attractive, shave your balls" beyond that, trimming is expected. Seriously, if you have a birds nest down there, play is going to stop.

 

I would say that the swinging crowd tends to be more educated on STI's but that's about as far as I would go.

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Concerning condoms again, are they being used during oral sex?

What about oral sex on women?

I was going to write about our Newbie Mistake and saw your post. We have only met 2 couples and we didn't use anything for oral. I don't think I ever did or would but that's me.

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Our big mistake, like I guess any other couples is we moved too fast. When we decided we were really going to do this, even though we talked about it for years, we did it within two weeks of trying to meet a couple. We had gotten emails from dozens of couples and/or guys. Many were from guys who thought they were exactly what we wanted. No, what we wanted was a couple. I have to admit we were prejudiced by looks. We wrote to some very nice people but when they sent pictures, we both agreed that none of them were going to be sexually attractive enough for us to be with. I kept on telling Mr C that I wonder what others said about us. We read emails and looked at pictures together until we made a choice thinking this couple is not for real. Younger than us and I have to admit very attractive. Though I could see us with them I was not sure how I would react to watching her with Mr C. Well they were real and once in the hotel room, we paid for, things moved fast. The thing is 1. we had nothing in common and 2. as good looking as he seemed, he wasn't as sexual as he boasted.

Was there a lesson? Yes, until we make another mistake. Still learning

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Hhhhmmmm where to begin.......

 

1: Swinging with Friends: By far my biggest mistake was deciding to swing with people we called friends. In my early swinging years I decided that swinging with people we called friends would be the safest / most secure option, and think you have already guessed it didn't turn out that way at all!!!! I'm not saying swinging with friends can not work, I know some people have had great success inviting their real life friend into the bedroom, but sadly for every 1 person who makes it a success there are 10 other people who have tried and it turned out to be a total disaster, I no longer swing with anyone we call friend.

 

 

2: Not Fucking Women Enough: I guess this has got a really strange title but basically one of my biggest regrets about my swinging experience is not fucking the women enough when I have had the chance. You might ask what I mean? Well basically in several of my ex relationships I have been lucky enough to date very opened minded and bisexual women who have not only given me permission to have threesomes with them and other girls, but have also given me permission to fuck other women on my own.

 

In other words we would meet a girl for a threesome, we would explore MFF threesomes together for a while, and then as things progressed my girlfriend would give me permission to fuck the new girl on my own, so basically I not only got MFF threesome, but I also got to fuck the new girl, and my own girlfriend on their own as well. But honestly looking back now I really did not take advantage of that enough.

 

I guess this will sound really strange to some people but on countless nights I'd say things like.....

 

"Aahhh I'm just too tired tonight"

"Dam I have work early in the morning I'll go to see the new girl another day"

"I have had a really hard day at work I just want to relax tonight"

"I have just got back from work and can't be bothered to bath and change to see the new girl tonight"

"Really I just want to sit and play this silly computer game all night"

"I just feel like kicking off my work boots and having 3 or 4 beers in front of a film"

"Fuck it I'll go out with my friends tonight instead of seeing the new girl"

"Its too late now to head over to her house"

"The weather is rubbish and its pouring down with rain I'll go see her another day"

"I don't want to piss off my girlfriend by seeing this new girl alone too much so I'll stay in instead"

 

Really looking back now I should have taken every opportunity to sink my dick deep into those other girls, that really it shouldn't have mattered how tired I was, shouldn't have mattered about work the next day, shouldn't have mattered how late it was or if it was raining, really I should have jumped in the shower and spent every spare moment either ramming my dick into both girls, or seeing my girlfriend alone, or the new girl alone.

 

If I could turn back the clocks then sure I'd have woken up at 5am everyday just so I could shower and get round to the new girls house for a few hours fucking her before work. That sure I'd arrive home at 8pm from work and rather than kicking off my boots and cracking open a beer I should have jumped in the shower and spend the evening with some blonde girls pussy juice running down my cock. In fact at one point my actual girlfriend was working night shifts and looking back I should have spent everyone of her night shifts with the other girl sucking my cock and enjoying her orgasms.

 

Honestly I can go out with my friends whenever I want, can play computer games whenever I want, but having a lovely new naked girl laying in bed in front of you doesn't happen often and I should have taken much more advantage of that. It takes some couples 5 or even 10 years to actually meet another women to explore a threesome with, and then once they have met this women its all over in 3 or 4 months, that in most cases you get a small window of opportunity and looking back I should have used those small windows of opportunity a lot more than I did.

 

I remember one girl I dated specifically, we dated for about 3 years and basically not long after meeting her we had started fucking people together, she not only gave me permission to have threesomes with her and other women, but also gave me full permission to fuck our threesome girls alone, we actually dated another girl together for about a year and they both fucked me together and alone. On many occasions I'd finish work and have a quick shower and would pop over to the new girls house and spend several hours bare back fucking her all over her bedroom, I'd spend ages giving her oral sex, would enjoy some really good sex together and would leave her with several large and thick loads of cum dribbling out of her tasty pussy, then I'd take a 5 minute drive home and within seconds on walking in the door my girlfriend would be tugging on my trousers wanting to suck the other girls pussy juice off my cock.

 

Sure it was bloody amazing, but looking back I honestly didn't take advantage of that situation enough. If I could turn back time then sure it would not have mattered if I was tired, would not have mattered if I had work the next day, would not have mattered if the weather was bad, basically if I was not having a threesome with them both, and was not with my girlfriend, then I should have been round that new girls house with her pussy juice running down my balls.

 

Sure I have had my fair share of MFF FMF threesomes but honestly I never fucked the new girl enough. I guess this is different for some people but basically I was younger then, and sure I have been blessed to date several open minded girls in my life but the fact is I was still young and spent much of time basically saying "I better not see the other girl too much on my own because I don't want to upset my girlfriend" when in reality me and my girlfriend only ended up breaking up a few years down the line, that really whilst I was young I'd have been better fucking the new girl every chance I got and seeing if it actually lasted with my actual girlfriend before having such a loyal heart.

 

Looking back now there are at least 5 or 6 different girls that I could have easily seen a lot more on my own, I wish I had done now.

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WELL..... ARE YOU READY?

 

Its about time Sun & Moon landed on this thread properly, and the question is......

 

COMMON MISTAKES NEW SWINGERS MAKE?

 

Well my first thoughts would be........ A LOT!!!!

 

Now I'll assume if you are reading this thread that you are NEW to swinging, or that you are CURIOUS about swinging and would like to know more.

 

Well firstly let me say well done on joining the Swingers Board :) and well done for reading this thread :) that alone is a very positive sign that shows your looking at this lifestyle seriously.

 

In fact the comment I'm about to make is TRUE of every swinger alive today. That yes some swingers are taller than me / some swingers are younger than me / some swingers have much bigger dicks than mine / some swingers are healthier than me / HOWEVER WE ALL share one thing in common, and that is during our swinging journey we will ALL MAKE MISTAKES!!!!

 

Please understand that some of the people on this forum (me included) have actually been swinging for DECADES, they are in fact very experienced in this subject, BUT STILL they make mistakes, so please don't beat yourself up about mistake (understand they are going to happen) in fact they say a real genius doesn't just learn from their mistakes, they learn from the mistakes others make.

 

OKAY so what follows (in no set order) is some of the mistakes that I see people / couples making everyday, and please believe I KNOW MY SHIT!!!!

 

 

1: YOU: The first and perhaps biggest mistake I see people making with swinging is failing to understand that swinging is far more about YOU than anyone else.

 

What do I mean?

 

Well if YOU have really bad communication skills in relationships then how do you think that will effect your swinging lifestyle?

 

If YOU are a somewhat pushy demanding person then how will that effect your swinging life?

 

If YOU have trusts issues, jealousy issues, low self confidence, then again how will this effect your journey into the swinging lifestyle?

 

If YOU constantly argue with your partner and just can't agree then hows that going to effect swinging as a couple?

 

YOU SEE...... No offence to anyone reading this but often people run into this lifestyle thinking they are entirely fine and this is a easy to understand subject that is just sex / just fun, but actually if a lot of these people tuck a good hard look at THEMSELVES then they might begin to see that:

 

Actually they have bad communication skills as a partner / they have low self confidence / they have self esteem issues / that they are not a very good listener / that sometimes their partner feels trampled by this subject.

 

I can not explain all of this in this document, however please rest assured that if you want to swing then actually one of the very best things you can do is simply WORK ON YOU!!!!

 

Work on your communication skills / your active listening skills / work on your self confidence / work on you as a person and nothing else in this world will increase your chances of making swinging a happy part of your lives.

 

You could say if your partner is happy and feels secure with YOU then swinging will work better. You see a lot of people make the MISTAKE of thinking they must somehow convince their partner to like this subject / to like swinging. When actually you would simply be better changing yourself, learning how to communicate better in your relationship so when you do speak about this your partner feels more respected and listened to, learn how to be more confident, look at your happiness levels, start looking at problems you do have in your relationship and solving them.

 

Now I'm going to put this very simply.......

 

If you are a good man/women, if you have good communication skills / if you have healthy self esteem and confidence / if you feel secure as a person / if you have good active listening skills / if your willing to work on yourself and make changes to improve YOU then sure your journey into this world will go a LOT BETTER.

 

Understand my friend swinging is NOT about having sex / meeting new people / having fun / firstly and foremost swinging is about YOU!!!!!

 

In this case my friend YOU are the most vital thing. YOU will take this subject forward. YOU will be in the driving seat a lot of the time. YOU and your actions will help determine the outcome. That firstly its YOU and your safety that counts.

 

I am not even sure this is making sense but basically guys a lot of people come into swinging looking for a “Magic Answer” looking to read some forum post that will tell them exactly what they need to do or say, but please understand in this subject YOU are that magic answer.

 

I mean in most cases it will be YOU answering the messages. YOU looking after online profiles. YOU having to communicate with people. YOU having to speak with your partner. Its YOU who has to buy the new clothes, bedding, sex toys or whatever else you want to play with. Its YOU who has to run around getting ready along with your partner. Its YOU who often has to arrange things, and honestly this list could go on forever.....

 

I mean shit in most cases it will end up been YOU who makes the tea or coffee, are you starting to see how YOU have a greater impact on things than anything else? It is after all YOU doing all of these things, so if anyone ever asks you.

 

What is the one most vital thing in swinging?

 

Then simply smile to yourself and think “ME” I am the most vital thing in swinging. If my communication skills are better then my partner and play mates will understand me better and respect my desires more. If I make sure to have the best hygiene possible then my partner and play mates will be more happy playing with me. If I learn how to be a better listener then my partner and play mates are going to feel more secure in this situation and happier.

 

This my friends is very often about YOU!!!!!

 

In many cases I see people coming onto forums and they basically believe that swinging is about MAKING THEIR WIFE LIKE IT. That swinging is about MEETING PEOPLE.

 

But actually in most cases swinging is about starting AT HOME first, looking at yourself first, making sure you are a nicer, better, cleaner person.

 

To end this first bit of advice I'll do a simple example:

 

Adam: Is a 30 year old man who wants to swing with his wife. However when he asks his wife she actually becomes fairly angry, she doesn't really trust Adam and the communication between them really isn't very good. Okay.......

 

Adam decides to improve his communication skills, he reads 3 or 4 books on improving his communication skills and maybe even joins some online groups and forums about it all.

 

WELL DONE ADAM – Your chances of happily swinging just went up by 10%.

 

Adam then decides that he is unhappy with the levels of trust in his relationship, so he begins to study how to build trust and love in a relationship, and again he reads several books and does some study into this subject.

 

WELL DONE ADAM – Your chances of happily swinging have just gone up another 10%.

 

If you see with each change Adam makes to HIMSELF his chances of happily swinging go up more than any other option.

 

Please believe me swinging isn't just about sex / meeting people / your relationship / in fact all of these things are still depending on YOU.

 

Your relationship will be good, if YOU are good. Swinging will be good, if YOU are good.

 

Please understand my friend you are not a piece of this jigsaw, your the fucker building this jigsaw, YOU as person are more vital here than you understand, you are the gold, you are a leader , you are the magical answer, so please look at yourself, improve yourself, learn, grow, make sure you understand that YOU are the most vital thing, the one building and shaping this subject.

 

You my friend, man or women, black or white, doesn't matter, YOU are the most vital thing in swinging, you are the start / the foundation / the engine that will keep this subject moving. This is more about YOU than you can even imagine.

 

YOU be the best / nicest person you can, and in time very good things will follow.

 

 

2: PICTURES: Now I put this at number two because basically it makes me want to punch a lot of people and honestly I'm NOT a violent man.

 

There are some things about pictures that truly annoy the hell out of me and one of the biggest mistakes I see people making is with the pictures they use on swinging profiles.

 

Now I do plan to write a bigger post about this topic, this is by no means a full guide, however I will give you a few simple examples of what I'm taking about:

 

Baby Toys: I often see couples taking naked pictures of themselves and the background of the pictures is just littered with baby toys. I mean fucking FANTASTIC you have just let every sexual predator know that you as a couple are not only looking for sex, but have young children in the house, how do you think half of these kidnappers and sex offenders target such families?

 

Honestly it makes me sick, in most cases I just want to march into the couples house and demand they remove all the pictures. In my eyes your children / a child's life should be 100% hidden from this lifestyle, and please understand if child protection agencies find your risking children then you might be in for a bigger battle than you ever imagine.

 

School Uniform: Yep that's right guys I'd say on a least two occasions over the years I have actually spoken to couples form the same city as me and can see their child's school uniform hung in the background of their pictures with the full school name and logo right there. In the wrong hands that information could see your child kidnapped / stalked / or even your wife raped or attacked as she picks your children up from school or whatever.

 

BASICALLY: I see some God awful pictures that basically put couples lives directly in danger.

 

You see I am trained person, my last serious job offer was working as an undercover detective on one of the UK's biggest drug task forces. PLEASE MY FRIENDS look at the bloody background of your pictures!!!! Someone like me can literally use the smallest of details in the background of your pictures to actually FIND YOU to find where you and your wife work, live, hang out.

 

Please understand you take a nice picture in your garden “Arrrhhh Lovely” but to a stalker he has just seen the shape of your house / the colour of your house / the rough style or age of your house. I mean honestly I once ran across a couple who had a pool shaped like a “Pear” in their back garden, do you have any idea how quickly someone can find that shit on Google earth.

 

I mean sure I already know what area you live in so hows about I fire up Google satellite and we are looking for a pool shaped like a pear right? Oh look an hour later there it is, found it. Oh no wait I haven't found the pool I have found YOU!!!! YOUR WIFE!!!!

 

I once spoke to a couple and I could read their address simply by looking at a letter left on the table in one of their photos.

 

Work Uniform / ID: This is another one I see ALL THE TIME and again once which often makes me feel upset. In many cases these people have young children in their care, they have children to feed, cloth, look after yet basically they take bloody pictures of themselves stud their in work uniforms ready to upload to sex and swingers sites.

 

You know such things are fantastic ways to lose your job / to put your entire family on the breadline / to hurt the reputation of the company you work for, and taking into account I own and manage three businesses now I'd take that fairly seriously.

 

I see photos every single day that would allow me to:

 

Find You. Stalk You. To find you're Home / Children / Workplace / Hobbies / Friends / Family, honestly you give a man like me a few details, a few leaked images and in many cases I'll track you right to your door in less than 24 hours, and that is NOT A JOKE!!!!

 

Honestly you give a man like me the smallest of details and I'll find you, and if I don't find you I'll find you dad / mother / sister / brother / children. Now please understand that is not a threat, I was nearly a policeman myself and worked training police officers and armed forces recruits myself in civilian life. You know part of my entire job was teaching police officers about these things, to show them how stalkers / mad people / criminals operate.

 

Honestly this world is becoming insane, I mean you do understand that in a lot of cases all I actually need to do is download your pictures, look at the “Location” information of where the picture was actually taken, and then do a “Reverse Image Search” that will scan the internet for any other copies of those pictures and BOOM, Oh look I just found you in SECONDS!!!!!!

 

Look at your pictures, if you can see shit in the background / if you can see uniforms / work clothes / computers / letters / your house / buildings in the background / your garden / the shape of your home of garden / basically ANYTHING AT ALL then yeah don't use that photo.

 

The best photo's for you to take are simply YOU or YOU/PARTNER standing in front of fairly plain / blank background. For example, stand in front of blank wall / stand in front of your wardrobe / stand in front of the tiled bathroom wall.

 

If I look at your pictures and I see family photos on the wall, see the shape of your home, see your work clothes, see the bag you carry everyday, the car you drive then you better believe your life is already in danger just by your photo's alone.

 

 

3: FRIENDSHIP: Now this is a very tricky subject, you see a LOT of new people (hello new person) come into this lifestyle basically thinking its about FRIENDSHIP, but been honest, been totally honest, its really NOT about friendship, it really is about FUCKING.

 

You could say in swinging there are TWO main types of people:

 

A) Those who JUST want to FUCK.

 

B) Those who want to fuck but also like the SOCIAL SIDE as well.

 

Now a big mistake I see new people making everyday is coming into this lifestyle and just automatically thinking that EVERYONE wants friendship.

 

You know sorry to say, but they really don't!!!!

 

In fact some people simply want to fuck and care little for any friendship or normal decency, where other people might actually be interested in a friendship but won't start one with a swinging friend because they don't want the situation to feel to close for comfort, that they would rather distance themselves from any feelings of friendship.

 

You know this is just sex / just business / not any friendship or anything deep allowing that couple to fuck people but without any of it feeling to close.

 

What does this mean? Well okay it means that a LOT of couples come into this lifestyle thinking things such as......

 

“Wow imagine the friends we could make / imagine the new friends we could meet / imagine all the social benefits we could get / imagine the new company we could have / imagine meeting other people who have a real interest in getting to know us”

 

I mean no offence guys but a LOT of men worldwide sell this subject to their wives using the entire “Social Aspect” but in reality the vast majority of people on swing sites actually couldn't care about friendship at all, they are here to FUCK not to make friends.

 

This can actually be a GRIM wake up call for a lot of couples. Lets look at an example:

 

Adam: Well Adam loves his wife very much indeed, Adam knows in his heart that his wife is a clever, charming, sexy, attractive person who has some really nice qualities, okay she has a few bad ones as well but Adam cares deeply for this women, her respects her, he wants her to be happy, to have variety and sexual pleasure, he wants other people to see her in the same light, to treat her as a friend, as a person, with respect and good friendship.

 

Then they join a swingers site and basically the only question they really get is.....

 

“You want to fuck?”

 

No not really bothered about friendship, not really bothered about getting to know you, not that interested in treating your wife like a person, I mean she has a vagina right? Cool, want to fuck?

 

In this example people are NOT really interested in Adam's wife as a person / friend / mother / wife / they are not even interested in her name / hopes / dreams / friendship / really an awful lot of people are just interested that she has a vagina and if she is willing to fuck or not?

 

Sadly this behaviour can scare away hundreds of new couples on a monthly basis, so as a couple coming into this lifestyle you kind of need to understand that this is a SEXUAL subject, that the primary aim of most people on swingers sites is SEX, not friendship.

 

You could almost say swinging is about sex, and friendship is a possible bi product of that situation. That not all your swinging partners will end up becoming friends.

 

Now don't get me wrong some people do build wonderful / amazing / lifelong friendships in the swinging scene, in fact I'd say some of the best and most closest friendships in the world have in fact been in the swinging scene, but still you do need to understand that NOT EVERYONE wants that, in fact the majority of people either don't want that or in reality just don't have time.

 

Now at this stage I'll even speak directly to the person reading this, be that a man, women, couple and say.... You want friendship? Yeah your talking shit mate!!!!

 

What do I mean? Well honestly my friend LOOK AT YOUR LIFE.

 

Do you even have the time to meet for group sex? Do you even have the time to see your current friends? Do you even have the time to see your family? Does your wife/girlfriend even want some big huge friendship with these people? Has she even got time for such a friendship?

 

Oh wait on, does this other person or couple we are meeting even have time for friendship? Eeerrrrrrrrrrrr?

 

You know most people work / have jobs / need to sleep / cook / clean / meet friends / pay bills / you know LIFE gets in the way, so if your setting off into this lifestyle expecting a world of REAL new friendships then please begin to drastically alter your expectations.

 

DON'T look at swinging as there ALWAYS needs to be a friendship.

 

LOOK at swinging as there MIGHT end up been a friendship, we don't know yet.

 

This is a strange subject, you see deep down maybe a lot of people would like the friendship and social side, but that honestly in the cold grim reality they just don't have time. I know a lot of couples into swinging and honestly such couples find it hard even to find 2 hours to have a little private fun, never mind some huge friendship that needs weekly care or whatever.

 

My advice here is to PLEASE seriously lower your expectations surrounding friendship, if a friendship does happen then great, if not then either roll with it or find someone else who is slightly more interested in the social side.

 

 

4: TO MANY RULES: This is another hazard / mistake that new people often make in swinging and that is basically just having to many rules, boundaries, and concerns.

 

This again is a delicate topic because YES I strongly / fully / 100% advise you to have some rules and boundaries in place and to discuss them as a couple or with your play partners. However you also need to understand that sometimes you can simply have TO MANY RULES.

 

What often happens is that a couple joins the swinging world and they are nervous so they create like 20 / 30 / 40 different rules, and honestly it just becomes stupidly unmanageable, not only for the couple but for people they meet as well.

 

OKAY so I am now going to give you a way to SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

 

Which is called........ THE RULE OF FIVE.

 

This means as a couple you are going to create ONLY FIVE CORE RULES.

 

Now these rules can contain multiple meanings or purposes, but overall there will just be 5 core rules to follow. Once you can do this then your swinging life will be easier.

 

To give you an example here one of your CORE RULES might be:

 

SECURITY: So in this rule you as a couple agree not to tell people where you work / not tell people your real last names / not to give people your personal numbers / emails / not to let people come to the house without been invited.

 

That in this security rule you lay out your security desires / concerns and that that is one rule done. The next rule might be:

 

NEVER LOCAL: For example if you live in a small town or village you simply might not want to run the risk of sleeping with people in the same area, you know don't shit on your own doorstep, so again you may have some rules about where you meet people / how far you travel / or perhaps you plan to meet people from a nearby city, but again this is another rule done.

 

In this area I'd like you to create 5 umbrella rules, just five core rules that you can remember, this will make life a lot easier for you as a couple.

 

 

5: NEVER LOCK IN: This is another tragic mistake that I hear about people making all of the time but basically when you do FIRST meet people form the swinging world then please do NOT lock yourself into anything AT ALL.

 

What do I mean? Okay I mean, please do NOT:

 

Just meet someone online and agree to sleep at their house for a weekend / meet someone online and agree to meet them for a 2 or 3 hour social meal / meet someone online and agree to arrange some holiday with them / agree to take part in any events or activities with them.

 

When you first meet someone you should only ever agree to meet them in a situation where you can walk away in 10 seconds flat if you need to. If you agree to take a 3 hour trip to the opera with a couple and actually they turn out to be awful / they are not nice people / that you do not like them / then sadly you have already paid for the tickets, already promised to take part, are already there and end up LOCKED IN to a very uncomfortable evening.

 

Please understand a MEAL is a totally shit way to meet people for the first time, not only are you LOCKED IN to this situation because you have ordered food and drink which need paying for, but also do you know how many women feel 100% confident sitting in front of total strangers and even eating a meal? I mean do like it when total strangers just sit there looking at you eat?

 

If your going to meet people from the swinging world then make it LIGHT, make it a quick coffee in the local coffee shop, make it a few drinks in a local bar. In this case if you need to you can just walk away, your not stuck around waiting for food to be cooked / not stuck in some event that you promised to take part in / not stuck sleeping at someone's house that you don't even like in person.

 

6: BISEXUAL: Wow another tricky one, and honestly one which is hard to even explain, you see in the word of swinging nothing can be as it seems.

 

This basically means some people might have “Straight” written on their profile, but really in secret are bisexual. Where others will have “Bisexual or Bi-Curious” written on their profile when really they are in fact 100% straight and even at times highly homophobic men.

 

WHAT? I know sounds confusing right, but sadly it is the truth. You know some people are simply scared to admit to been bisexual in case friends / work mates / family members find their profiles. Where as some straight guys simply think advertising themselves as bisexual will attract more couples and allow them to trick their way into more couples beds.

 

Please understand that in some cases in this lifestyle you can meet a single man or even couple who say they are bisexual, but when you actually get naked with them in bed it actually turns out they are not bisexual at all and really just want to fuck the women, or the man, or whatever the case may be in that situation.

 

The other one you will often find is husbands and boyfriends who set up swinging accounts and just automatically assign their girlfriend as been bisexual, when actually she isn't at all HE is just wishing she was in hope of attracting other women into bed.

 

If you are a bisexual person you will even get the occasional message from a clearly homophobic person who wants his dick sucked. That in some cases you can even read this man's profile and its basically full on straight / full on anti bisexual or gay people, but really they are messaging you drunk at 2am asking for bisexual blow jobs or to fuck them like they are a girl.

 

You also have to be careful with single men here, often a single STRAIGHT MAN will find a bisexual couple that he really likes, that “The women is well fit innit” so he will change his sexually to bisexual for a few days so he can message the couple and see if they answer. If they do answer he will leave it as bisexual, if the chat fizzles out he will change it back to straight a few days later.

 

In some cases you can even meet a “Bisexual Couple” and when you get in the bedroom and your wife makes a move towards the other women she freaks out, isn't bisexual at all, has never done a thing with another women before and doesn't really want to either.

 

7: NOT GETTING HARD: Yet again another big mistake new people make.

 

I mean honestly guys during most peoples first 2 or 3 meets they can struggle to get hard / stay hard / you know at times this shit happens to the best of men.

 

Now I can solve this for you in two single words..... BUY VIAGRA!!!!

 

However just please understand that it is perfectly normal for some guys to struggle to get hard, especially when they are first meeting new people / within the first month or two of knowing them / that sometimes sure you can get hard as a rock from day one, sometimes the situation might need a little more time to relax, and again if all else fails use Viagra or whatever ED drug suits you best.

 

8: BAD HYGIENE: Sadly this again can be a mistake that some people make, and before you skip this part of think your hygiene is perfect, please understand that in the swinging world the word “Hygiene” can mean a lot more than you think, and no I'm not just talking about STD's.

 

You see when you say “Hygiene” to many people they simply think.....

 

“Well that means I bath / shower / brush my teeth and stuff like that yeah?”

 

Well yeah, BUT...............

 

Its also means that YOU:

 

Trim or shave your pubic hair / that you wear clean fresh clothes / that you trim your finger and toe nails / that you do properly wash your hair / that you shave all the gross smelly hair around your balls and bum / that you scrub your tongue and not just your teeth / that you wear deodorant and nice perfumes or whatever / that you make your HOME clean / the bed you fuck in clean / the room you fuck in clean / as please believe me each step you tick off the list will help you.

 

One thing I would strongly suggest here is that FOR WHATEVER REASON if you meet someone and you know your smelly / you know you have been to work all day and not showered / not had chance to shave or trim anywhere / then don't panic simply message the person and ask if you can either have a quick shower at their house first, or at the hotel before you play.

 

My strong advice here is if your a MAN and your going to have a group sex meeting, then please get into the bath or shower 60 minutes before your due to set off and meet these people. You know if your a WOMEN then yeah obviously get in the bath or shower like 3 hours before your due to set off or whatever but still you get my point, BATH JUST BEFORE you meet people.

 

Do NOT bath at 8am attend work for 10 hours and then expect people to meet you with cheesy cock smells and body odours. HAVE A BATH JUST BEFORE YOU SET OFF then when you do play with these new people you are fresh, ready, and they will be more likely to play with you again.

 

9: THE COUPLES RUSH: This is another drastic mistake that men / couples can make all of the time, and really guys I am often aiming this directly at your guys / husbands / boyfriends.

 

You see my friend actually planning a threesome / having a group sex meeting can actually take a a SHIT LOAD OF EFFORT and you guys really, really, really need to take note of this.

 

For this topic I'll start with an example:

 

Adam: Well Adam kindly asks his wife if they can please meet their sex buddy on Thursday evening. In fact on Thursday evening Adam would very much like to walk in from work and basically just spend all evening having a MFF / MMF threesome with their new friend.

 

Bloody hell it sounds great :) and Adam's wife agrees :) I mean YAY!!!!!

 

Okay so Thursday arrives and at 5:15am your hear a BEEP, BEEP, BEEP as Adam's wife slowly drags herself out of bed to turn off the alarm clock. Really she didn't sleep very well last night, it was just to warm and feels like she only got 4 or 5 hours sleep all night.

 

Now Adam's wife isn't lazy so she wake herself up a little and begins her morning ritual, you know shower, breakfast, hair, make up and all of this before the poor girl has to travel to work for the day. Now Adam's wife arrives to work and SHIT someone has called in sick or one of the ovens has broken, or her PC won't work properly and basically she is in for a rather SHIT DAY AT WORK.

 

You know its bloody rammed, she is busy all day long and hardly has a chance to sit down at all. By the end of an 8 hour shift her feet feel like lumps of stone, she is aching, tired, feeling dirty from a hard day at work and THEN faces the lovely task of driving home in rush hour traffic.

 

Adam's wife arrives home from work at 17:35 and as she walks in the door fairly exhausted, achy, feeling tired she is almost instantly met by Adam who says....

 

“Hey sexy remember we have our friend coming over tonight at 20:00”

 

You know his wife hasn't even had chance to take off her coat, hasn't even had chance to sit down. So Adam's wife puts down her things and begins to mentally prepare for what's ahead. I mean sure during this she is actually looking around the house and what does she see?

 

Has Adam washed the full sink of pots from breakfast? Has Adam cleared away the pots he dumped in the living room? Has Adam even bothered cleaning all of his pubes out of the shower or bath from when she trimmed earlier? Has Adam thought to hoover the bedroom or change the bedding? Has Adam fed the or walked the dog? Has Adam been and done the shopping they need? Did Adam remember the wine his wife wanted? Had Adam even bothered tidying the bathroom that looks like pigsty thanks to him chucking old dirty clothes everywhere?

 

NOPE, in fact in most cases Adam really hasn't done a great deal and his poor wife walks into a house that not only needs quickly cleaning but this women also needs to bath, and that alone can take more than a few hours. But yes this SUPER WOMEN has a few hours to do it all before their group sex friend knocks on the door.

 

Okay so at this point Adam's wife has no choice, she goes into “Hyper Drive” this means she walks in from walk and the next 2 or 3 hours are a desperate race not only to get the house ready / not only to get herself ready / but also to eat / use the toilet / drink / find even 5 minutes to sit down.

 

This my friends is like running an obstacle course, honestly have you ever seen a half naked women running around a house whilst trying to tidy up / whilst trying to put a bra on / whilst eating a sandwich / whilst hopping across the living room trying to put a shoe on.

 

Now at this stage Adam's wife has tided the house a little, he has managed to eat a quick sandwich which was a rushed snack at best, however now Adam's wife faces the real challenge, she faces a set of stairs that usually has a bathroom at the top.

 

Now please understand that for a lot of women getting ready for a group sex session is no easy task, I mean in reality one way or another this women is going to get fucked, that she will be totally naked, that people will be licking her, kissing her, touching her and sure an awful lot of women do NOT feel comfy with this happening unless they are clean.

 

You know this for a women can be a epic saga, we are not just talking a shower or bath, we are talking fully shampooing their hair, fully conditioning their hair, trimming all their nails, trimming their pubic hair, shaving their legs and under arms, shaving their pussy, trimming eye brows, brushing teeth, you know we haven't even got into the realms of make up / hair dryers / curlers / moisturisers / what clothes to wear / what underwear to choose / what make up to use / what perfume to use / you know I'm not a women and know I'm already missing half the list here.

 

Now by this stage Adam's wife is already feeling flustered, she has done nothing but run around all day, she hasn't eaten properly, she hasn't had any chance to rest or mentally prepare, she has had to rush getting ready and basically before she even gets chance to sit down she hears.

 

“KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK”

 

On the door and in walks their play partner, what follows from this point is a nice relaxed chat for half an hour where finally Adam's wife gets to sit down, at least a little. What follows from there is basically several hours of group sex, you know before long its 22:30 at night and your all laid in bed after a lovely sex session :) but you know Adam just wants one more go with this new women, you know yeah its late but we can have one last quickie right?

 

You know Adam slides inside and before long its like 23:34 at night before their friend finally leaves, I mean WOW what a night Adam got to cum like 4 times, it was awesome. It takes some time to settle down, you know Adam's wife just needs an hour to have a quick drink and then fall off to sleep by say 1am in the morning.

 

The next day arrives and at 5:15am after like 4 hours sleep again we hear “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP” as Adam's achy zombie wife pulls herself out of bed for another day at work. But you know at least its Friday, at least its nearly the weekend and she can relax. You know until Adam asks to have the new girl around again on Saturday and Sunday as well, I mean after all you are off work.

 

OKAY SO LETS LOOK AT A QUICK SECOND EXAMPLE:

 

Ben: Okay so Ben knows all of the above, so sure Ben asks his wife for a threesome and she agrees :) YAY!!!!

 

Now Ben knows his wife will be tired, he knows she might be nervous, he knows she will be rushed, so in this case a few days before the threesome arrives Ben goes into “HYPER DRIVE” ad he begins cleaning the house.

 

You know Ben is clever so sure she scrubs all the bathroom, he cleans all the kitchen, he vacuums every room, he washes the dishes, he empties all the buns, he changes the cat litter or fish tank water or whatever.

 

You know over that few days Ben makes sure that there is fresh bedding waiting, he makes sure the smelly laundry pile is gone, he make sure his gorgeous wife can walk into a clean home.

 

Now at this stage the day of the threesome arrives and sure after a long hard day Ben's wife walks in from work and she is greeted with a smile and hug and Ben offering to take her coat and bag. She walks in the house and Ben says “Hey gorgeous remember our friend is coming tonight at 20:00” to which his wife acknowledges.

 

However Ben's wife begins to look around the house, you know she begins to panic, I mean SHIT I only have a few hours and our friend is arriving. Now about two minutes later Ben's wife walks back in the living room looking confused, she looks at Ben and shrugs her shoulders and says “There's nothing to do?” and sure Ben smiles and says YES its been done, and then pats the seat next to him and his wife slumps down on the seat with a smile.

 

She then says “What's that smell?” and Ben says “Oh I'm just cooking a light meal / snack because you won't have eaten much today, so don't worry that is sorted and on the way. Why don't we run you a nice bath now and by the time your done eating you can have a nice relax in the bath instead of running around? Is there anything else I can do whilst your in the bath?”

 

In this light Ben is just lifting so much strain, so much worry from his wife's head that she doesn't even know which way to turn and has no choice but simply to relax, prepare, have that little extra time just to use how she needs. That night Ben's wife has like 8 orgasms simply because she was so relaxed / so ready / feeling so cared for that the night progressed really well.

 

WHAT TO TAKE FROM THAT?

 

Well I guess that preparation is half the battle won.

 

I mean if you KNOW your having guests that night then sure before work run the bins outside / change the bedding / kill off a few jobs that you know will cause stress later.

 

If your a MAN reading this then please understand the more you clean the house / the more opportunity you give your wife/girlfriend to relax the better and longer lasting your group sex sessions will be, and that is not a joke or a lie.

 

Think of what you need? If your having a guest then maybe throw a few beers in the fridge that morning / ask your wife to pick out some clothes or underwear so its ready on the bed later / empty any smelly ash trays or bins so they aren't stinking out the house all day.

 

Try to avoid putting you partner in swing situation where all they have to do is RUSH, RUSH, RUSH and I'm not just speaking about sexual things, but things like cleaning, getting ready, rushing to eat before guests arrive. The easier and more relaxed you make things for your partner the better group sex and friendships you will end up having.

 

You know dare I say guys, clean your bloody ass off!!!! Take away as many jobs and as much stress as possible and your wife will relax a lot more.

 

 

10: SHOCK: This again happens to a lot of people, in fact when you FIRST see your partner been touched / been fucked by someone else it can cause a fair amount of shock and panic.

 

However this is actually NORMAL.

 

You know some guys spend years having fantasies about their wife fucking another man, and THEN when their wife does actually fuck another man the husband freaks out / feels strange / feels paranoid / starts wondering all sorts of crazy stuff.

 

But you know in some respects this is kind of normal, even the people who have been into swinging the longest can often look back to their nervous beginnings and remember the same happening to them. In some respects seeing the person you love fuck someone else is horny / sexy / fun / but at the same time your heart or mind can sometimes be screaming NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

But in a weird sense that is just normal. Your not alone. Your not the first person to ever feel strange, scared, nervous seeing their partner fucking someone else.

 

You know kind of funny in some respects because very often a husband will have fantasies about another man with a much BIGGER DICK fucking his wife. Then when that does happen the husband then becomes jealous / paranoid / thinking his wife now needs or wants bigger dick all the time / thinking she might fall in love with this man just because he has a bigger dick, when really it was him who made this a reality, him who asked for this to happen.

 

Please understand that when you first see your partner with someone else it is going to be a SHOCK, you may instantly start to feel unsure / nervous / worried that you will lose your partner / and sure in most cases this thinking will lessen or go away in time

 

 

11: INTRODUCE YOURSELF: This can be another mistake which a lot of people make, as basically they don't bother to introduce themselves.

 

“Hi we are J&M we are in our early 30's, we both work, we live on the East side of town, we can accommodate or travel, we don't smoke, we are free to meet usually after 20:00 in the evening”

 

You know it doesn't take much simply to give people your name / to say hello / to give them a few useful details that will allow them to see if a friendship with you would work.

 

You don't have to go crazy, you don't have to do a “Sun & Moon” but sure just a 3 or 4 lines that let people know in messages where your located / what your names are / if your working or not / maybe a little about what your looking for or your hobbies.

 

You know most couples and many single women do not respond well to messages like:

 

“What to fuck?”

“Fancy a meet?”

“Want to chat?”

 

You know women and couples get messages like that all the time and most of them end up deleted because there is no effort there, no introduction, no real substance. So sure take a small amount of time to introduce yourself, let this couple know who they are talking to, where your located, if you can travel or accommodate and that sort of thing.

 

12: NEVER BE SCARED TO SAY NO: This is another topic which can effect new couples, especially younger less experienced couples.

 

You see in some cases guys you will arrange a swing situation, you will meet someone on line who seems perfect or whatever, and sure you may even arrange to meet them for a night of group sex / you may even book a hotel room and plan to fuck them / you may even take a risk and just invite this stranger to your home, because after all he/she seems perfect right.

 

However when this person(s) arrive you basically don't like them / don't feel comfy / feel scared / somehow feel unsafe around this person / that they seem to be a rude person, aggressive, pushy then PLEASE do not be scared to SAY NO.

 

If you have to use an excuse.....

 

“Shit I just a message and by mother has fallen over and think she is broken her arm, we better go NOW, she is on her way to a doctors or hospital or something”

 

“Shit I'm sorry guys but I'm feeling really ill. Don't know what's wrong must have been the food I ate at work today, can we re-arrange this another night, am to sick to play at the moment”

 

“Shit work just messaged they need me there now, shit I did say I'd be on call, dam we will have to re-arrange”

 

If you meet someone and for whatever reason you feel tricked / lied to / unsafe then don't think you HAVE to have sex. Just change your mind / leave / make an excuse that you just want to chat as a couple and leave / tell the person you and your wife will just go and move the car to a better parking spot and just leave, you DON'T have to have sex with anyone, even if you have said you will.

 

You know it can be hard for young couples, sometimes they meet someone online who sounds and looks perfect and they end up agreeing to all sorts of stuff, but then in person they find they are not attracted in the slightest, but SHIT we have already said we will have sex?

 

Okay so what, change your mind / create an emergency / sneak away and just leave. You know if the person you talked to online was a nice, fun, sexy sounding person and the person who turns up is actually a nasty, kind of pushy and aggressive dickhead then no don't sleep with them, walk away, leave, make an excuse, do not feel locked into having sex with anyone, even if you said you would you are 100% allowed to change your mind.

 

WARNING: If you do meet say a man who seems unstable / scary / dangerous then please be very careful. You know I'm unsure of exactly the correct advice to give but please understand if you arrange to meet one of these idiots and are tricked into meeting an aggressive dickhead and you tell this person........

 

“SHIT I have just called my mother and she is been rushed to the doctors or hospital”

 

Then please fully expect this pushy / rude / aggressive dickhead to say something like.

 

Show me the call log then? Prove you just called your mother? What hospital is she going to? I'll follow you there and make sure your not lying?

 

Well actually psycho I do have my mothers number in my call log because I just pressed call when I was stud ordering that coffee, and no I actually don't know what hospital she is going to like stated she is been rushed in to either a doctors or a hospital depending on what the ambulance crew decides, anyway we have to go, we can re-arrange later.

 

My overall advice is to never agree to sex with someone until you have met them. Make it very clear in your messages, say things like:

 

IF we get on then maybe we can have sex. IF we feel comfy enough and get on as people then maybe we can have sex that night. We are willing to meet you and see how we get on, and we may or may not decide to have sex that night.

 

Let people know (especially men) that meeting you does not 100% mean they are getting sex, you are just MEETING THEM and might say no / might change your mind / might have a change of heart. Try not to PROMISE people sex before meeting them, simply say you will meet them and see what happens, so promises or agreement to have sex,

 

If we have sex. If we get on. If we like each other. If we are feeling well enough. If we don't have work to early the next day. If...If....If.... Then meet the person and if you like them fuck them, if you don't then “IF” yourself out the door.

 

Hey mate you know we promised to meet you but I did say “IF” my mother was still sick we couldn't play, well sorry she is still sick, think she might be better next week but for now she really needs us there so sorry tonight will have just have to be a coffee and quick hello.

 

You know literally CREATE AN “IF” AND THEN USE IT TO ESCAPE.

 

I told you in our messages mate if my mother was still ill / if my child was still sick / if my work still needed me on call / if the decorators was still in my house / if my grand father was still visiting then we COULDN'T PLAY TODAY.

 

Well guess what pushy dickhead my grand father is still visiting / my house is still be decorated and we need to be there tonight to help / I have already given you many “IF'S” and now will use one of them to avoid a night of pushy scary sex with you thanks.

 

You know be apologetic to this person, offer to re-arrange another day next week, don't do anything to anger the nutcase but instead quietly leave. Once you get home then basically I would either block the person totally, OR, would send them a message saying “We really enjoyed meeting you but to be honest we are just not ready as a couple, we have some differences between us as a couple that we just can't seem to sort and don't think now is the right time for us. You were nice, you were attractive and sorry to have wasted your time but sadly now just isn't the right time for us as a couple, hope you understand and thank you again for meeting. Then clock the person.

 

If this nutcase does every bump into you on the street you left in a nice way that didn't push any blame or attacks against him.

 

Just please don't be scared to say no, don't be scared to make an excuse and leave, don't be scared to suddenly feel sick or even slip out the door when you go to the toilet.

 

 

13: PORN STARS: This is yet another mistake I see guys making all the time, because please understand guys the vast majority of these women / couples your meeting are NOT porn stars, actually they are just normal wives / girlfriends / people / they are mothers / daughters / they have jobs / hopes / dreams / fears / worries / they are in fact people.

 

What I am trying to say here is that sure porn stars are also people :) but they are trained people / they are people who have make up artists / digital effect specialists / lighting crews / these women are paid fairly large amount of money to do all of these sexual acts, you know your average wife into swinging isn't like that, she isn't paid to do every dirty trick in the book.

 

These women are not porn stars / not cat walk models / not sex guru's / often they are not sex mad perverts / you know a lot of time they are just normal people and often guys come into swinging with this attitude that basically thinks all swinging women are just like porn stars.

 

You know that ALL swinging women are dirty / all of them will take anal / all of them will swallow / all of them with be happy with gang bangs / that these swinging women will do anything. NOPE, actually this is someone's wife or girlfriend, not a blow up doll / not a porn star / just a person.

 

Please do NOT THINK that all the women on these swingers sites are sex mad women who do nothing but think about dick all day, many of these women are nervous / are shy / don't want to do every dirty thing in the book / you know see them as what they are, people and friends.

 

 

14: PERSONAL DETAILS: Okay so this one makes me want to cry sometimes, or like shout at people or something, but basically sometimes new people who come into the swinging world are WAY to relaxed about their personal information, and sooner or later that shit will come back to bite you in a big way, or can potentially come back and bite you in a big way.

 

If your a couple coming into this lifestyle, or if your a single women considering this lifestyle then please do NOT give anyone your personal details.

 

DO NOT......

 

Tell people where you work. Tell them your real last name. Tell them what street you live on. Tell them your girlfriends real last name. Give them your girlfriend/wife's number, email, chat program details. Tell them your families names. Tell them anything about your family, friends, hobbies hang outs or locations.

 

In an ideal world you would chat with this person(s) online a little and then either meet them for a social, or meet them to try sex. You would then give that friendship 3 or 4 meets and then begin to gauge if your happy with this person knowing more, and in 90% of cases I'd suggest NO.

 

Please understand if you tell a man where your girlfriend works, then chances are he will turn up there looking for her at some point. If you give a man your wife's phone number chances are within two weeks he will be asking for private hooks ups and affairs. You tell a man where you study / what time you leave for work / what your shift patterns are then sure when your at work he will come banging on your door wanting to fuck your wife alone.

 

When you speak with people do not give them personal details, instead only give them vague details. If you work in a hospital simply tell them you work in “Health Care” if you work in a local super market simply say “Retail” don't give specific information.

 

PLEASE MATE pay attention to this, PLEASE. You know it really doesn't matter how strong you are, it doesn't matter how powerful you are, the details YOU give away can lead people straight to your wife / straight to your children / straight to your home, and you know your children, your wife, your mother might not be as strong and might not be able to fight a nutcase away when your at work.

 

It doesn't matter to me, you could be Bruce Lee, you could be Chunk Norris, you could be the undefeated world UFC champion, none of this bothers me because it not you I'm stalking, its your wife and the personal details you have just given me have given me a key into her life, now I can find her friends / can find her workplace / can find her family / can stalk her.

 

Keep your personal details safe, keep your wife and family safe, don't let people know where your wife works / where your kids go to school, keep such things private and your life in swinging will be that little bit safer.

 

 

15: DICKHEADS: Wow I'm on a roll here, but sure another huge mistake that some new couples make is not actually understanding that a lot of people in the swinging world are basically “DICKHEADS” that they are actually rude / pushy / smelly people, that they are aggressive idiots basically and sadly this is the honest truth.

 

You see there is no SCHOOL of swinging, you don't have to take any exams, don't have to take any training, and basically this just means that ANYONE can start a swinging profile.

 

Okay so what do I mean by ANYONE?

 

Heroin addicts / paedophiles / rapists / sexual predators / hard drug addicts / criminals / drug dealers / sex offenders / shit even a serial killer could start up a swinging profile and all you would really see is what? Well a guy in a shirt.

 

If you have even read this far ? then sure understand NOT EVERYONE is like you. Some people on swing sites are basically gang members who got out of prison two months ago, they are thieves, young idiots, young trouble causing men.

 

Please do not come into swinging thinking that EVERYONE shares the same peaceful / loving / sharing attitude that you have. You know like in any walk of life you can meet some real monsters and dickheads in this lifestyle.

 

Just understand not everyone is going to be right for you. Please use your EYES & EARS you know if you actually end up talking to one of these idiots or violent thug like characters then sure listen to how they speak, listen to any threatening patterns, you will soon start to see these people display themselves if you talk with them for a while.

 

Sure you might be a clean hard working couple with good intentions, but actually the couple you are speaking to might have nice photos but in reality there both heroin addicted junkies simply looking for sex and wild drugged up parties with anyone they can.

 

Please understand I can walk out into my city now and can find a homeless drink and heroin addicted tramp. I can give that person a shave, I can give that person a bath, I can put that person into a $1 jumper that I bought at a charity shop, and sure I can slap him around the face and wake him up enough to let out some kind of smile for a second and BOOM take a picture, that in some cases can be your single man's profile on swingers sites.

 

You know I am NOT JOKING I actually see this shit all of the time. You will basically see single guys profiles and sure they look clean / look reasonable, but then you look closer, then you see the drug stained teeth, the blackened finger tips from some crack pipe. Then you look at the background of the picture and sure in reality it looks like a hostel / homeless centre / you know its not a persons house, its not a hotel, its looks like some kind of sheltered housing place, some kind of drop out centre for homeless and those who have just been released from prison.

 

Sure some of the guys on these swing sites have basically just found a rehab centre / or just come out of prison into some kind of sheltered accommodation and have managed just to say clean long enough to take a few smiling pictures that they can upload to swing and sex sites.

 

The picture of a smiling guy that was taken 2 years ago, but now they are back on the gear / back on the heroin and out stealing stuff and robbing people.

 

YES the vast majority of people in the swinging scene are nice, good, hard working people, but sure please understand we can't stop the idiots and thugs jumping on the same band wagon.

 

Don't mistake the mistake of thinking just because YOU are clean / safe / nice that everyone else is. Be careful, learn to identify those you think will cause trouble or be dickheads.

 

 

16: DO NOT TELL ANYONE: Now this perhaps in some cases may seem like strange advice, you know we all need people to speak with right? Cool hello my name is Moon, and I'm here, you can talk to me or like thousands of other people on these forums.

 

In which case what is the point telling your work friend? What is the point in telling the guys at the pub? What is the point telling anyone?

 

You have to understand that if you tell someone, then that person will tell someone else as well. That is how life works, that is often the truth of the matter.

 

This can be tricky, you see as a new person / new couple coming into this lifestyle you are going to want advice / you are going to want to speak with people / to maybe ask your friends advice / but honestly doing so can also backfire in a tragic way.

 

You know some couples would stand up and say WE ARE SWINGERS we don't give a toss who knows, we are proud, blarr, blarr, blarr. However speaking honestly I DO CARE if my childrens school found out we are swingers / I do care if the local church all know we are swingers / I do care if my work / bosses / family / close friends all know my sexual business and I'm guessing you are the exact same.

 

Well understand that you can tell a FRIEND you can speak with one of your trusted friends about swinging, and in some cases doing that will THEN end up with your family / work / friends / church all knowing your swingers.

 

Like stated this is a tricky subject, you see some people would say “So what” they are swingers who cares right? Other people would say you are twisted perverts / against God / that you are sinners / creeps / weirdo's / sex criminals / sex offenders / and sure some friends will turn their backs on you totally, some jobs will fire you on the spot.

 

You know if you need to speak with people then use these forums, speak with your partner, speak with your swinger friends, you DON'T have to go around telling work mates / telling friends, all you will do is blacken your name and your wife's name as well.

 

I mean dude okay I am glad you have slept with two women, but now I can go and tell everyone in the bar that your wife's a dyke who likes sucking women's pussies, sure give it a week and the entire town is looking at your wife like some sinning prostitute whore who does other peoples wives.

 

Sure you can easily ruin your life and your wife's just by letting people know, strange really that we see so compelled to speak with our friends about such things when really we have thousands of people going though the exact same things at the tips of our fingers.

 

You need advice / help then ask on these forums or others like it.

 

 

17: NOT EVERYDAY: This is another big mistake people can make (usually men) in fact without even knowing it they can easily let swinging take over their entire lives, and honestly a lot of guys don't even have a clue that it's happening, in fact lets look at an example.

 

Adam: Well Adam is a 28 year old man who has always wanted to try a threesome with two women, the famous and much sought after MFF threesome. Now to Adam's great delight after some months of talking and debate Adam's girlfriend agrees to try a threesome with a women.

 

Some months later they actually meet a young women who agree to have a threesome friendship with them and honestly Adam is over the moon, he is really excited and spends the best part of two weeks talking about this new women.

 

You know Adam has been waiting years for this and for the next few weeks all he really does is message this women / speak about meeting her / start to arrange and plan things to meet her, and sure the DAY FINALLY COMES.

 

This young sexy women arrives at Adam's house and honestly he can not believe it, they spent a nervous hour chatting when suddenly his girlfriend leant over and kissed him, and only moments later this new sexy women began kissing his neck. I mean honestly Adam's dick was hard as a rock in like 2 seconds flat, and sure 10 minutes later he was laid in bed kissing both girls and think Adam's heart nearly stopped when he watched them both full their knickers off at the same time.

 

WOW, for the rest of that evening Adam got to have sex with two women in the same bed and it was bloody amazing, he enjoyed every second, he wish he had done this 10 years ago. Their new friend leaves for the night and honestly Adam is on cloud nine, I mean all he really wants to do now is fuck his girlfriend again and then speak about how great the night went, how great this new women is, and spends the rest of the night speaking about the meet.

 

The next morning Adam wakes up with a big happy smile on his face, he feels great, and sure he just wants to check with his girlfriend again that she was okay with everything, so again that morning they sit eat breakfast again talking about this other women. Adam heads off to work and basically ALL DAY he is thinking about this new women / and fucking this new women and his girlfriend, and sure by the time Adam gets home he has had all these NEW IDEAS.

 

Now he wants to invite her to sleep over one night / now he wants to cook a meal for her / now he wants to invite her over for a film day / and obviously Adam has even dreamed up more sexual stuff that he wants to try with this women. Now Adam burst in the door from work and again all he really wants to do is sit speaking about swinging and this women, you know he is excited, he has been waiting years for this and it finally happened, and now he wants it again, and again, and again.

 

Adam spend most of the night speaking about swinging and this other women, however they finally go to sleep and after all tomorrow is a totally different day right? Well no not really. You see Adam wakes up and he is horny, he went to bed last night thinking about their threesome friend and all the threesomes they are going to be having and got himself all horny, now he is ready to meet again, now he thinks will be a great time to ask his girlfriend to meet her again in a few days, and to keep the peace his girlfriend agrees.

 

Okay so what happens for the next for days? Well you guessed it Adam spends 70% of his time planning / organising / talking about the next threesome. THEN the day comes and they haver another threesome, and you guess it Adam spends the next 2 or 3 days doing little else but just talking about the threesome, until he gets horny again and asks to meet her again, and the cycle continues until basically swinging has overtaken his entire relationship.

 

I mean honestly not many women who have a relationship with a man want to spend EVERYDAY just talking about swinging / just talking about meeting people. You know usually on a Tuesday night Adam and his wife use to go out for food, but now all he wants to do is laze around talking about threesomes and messaging some other women to see when she is free next. You know usually on a Thursday night we use to watch a film and cuddle up as a couple, but now all Adam does is sit on his PC waiting for this women to message back about meeting again.

 

This in effect is a WAVE in the ocean. You know it slowly build up force, then peaks, then crashes down leaving a aftermath. That in swinging we often spend days building up to meeting someone, then we play and “Peak” and then slowly over the next few days coming crashing down. The problem been by that point the next wave has already began to pick up speed, that basically a few days later and your wanting to fuck again.

 

Basically guys you need to remember that a lot of people do NOT want swinging to take over their entire lives / relationship / family. You know if for the last 10 years on a Tuesday night your wife has attended her dance class, then NO she doesn't want to cancel her entire hobby just to laze around with you speaking about swinging all night, doesn't want to cancel her night out just so you can stick your dick in some other women and then spend days talking about it again.

 

You know on some nights your partner will just be to tired / on some nights they will just want to relax and not have to speak about or plan a threesome again / some nights your partner will just want to go out with their friends / see their family / watch a film / have a nice bath for a change.

 

Please believe me if you do find your MFF threesomes and all you do is spend the next 3 days talking about it all before asking to meet her again, then in most cases your wife/girlfriend won't be meeting her for long because within only a few weeks she will be sick to death of you fucking this other women and then spending the next 2 or 3 days talking about it all before asking to meet again.

 

Yes by all means discuss what you thought as a couple, but don't let it take over your life. Say for example you meet a young women then sure sleep with her / see how things go / discuss things after or the next morning and after that point TOPIC CLOSED. From that point your NOT speaking about this new women but instead speaking about your lives, your relationship, your partners day at work, your not letting this one subject just take over everything.

 

Please keep this in mind, MOST WOMEN DO NOT want to sit there 7 days a week doing nothing but talking about group sex and your desires and plans to meet other women to fuck. YOU might find that really exciting, YOU might want to sit there speaking about it all or planning things, but like you average women would probably prefer to go out for a nice coffee as a couple or have a meal as a couple and stop whining on about this group sex rubbish and threesomes.

 

 

18: THE DREAM: Okay this is a strange one but again a mistake LOADS of people make, you see when you FIRST start to think about threesomes and group sex us humans have a habit of imagining a dream like setting, we imagine how things will go, we plan how things will go.

 

Guess this is a little exciting for me really I mean if someone totally NEW is reading this, someone who has never experienced group sex then sure YOU are who I'm talking about. I mean in this case you probably have a “Vision” of how a threesome should go. You have a vision of how the night will happen, and honestly these visions are often very dangerous and totally wrong.

 

The problem here is that you are expecting people to think / act / behave like YOU WOULD.

 

Adam: Well Adam has known his wife many years, he respects her, he loves her and in his dream of a threesome they would meet a man who also treated Adam wife with respect, care, friendship. Sure Adam begins to dream of what this person will be like / how they will act / how the entire night will go / he will imagine this clean man who respects his wife / he will perhaps imagine this friendship or friendly fun situation happening between them all.

 

You know Adam has already decided how this night is going to happen before its even happened, and sure sadly Adam is in for a big shock. I mean in Adam's plan / dream / vision they would meet a tall handsome man, however the guy they do end up meeting really isn't that tall.

 

In Adam's vision they would meet at 20:00 which would be perfect for him and his wife, however they guy they meet can only make it at 21:30 because he is working most evenings. You know in Adam's big vision this guy would be talkative, funny, friendly, would be relaxed and share things in common with them as a couple.

 

However you guess it the guy they actually end up meeting turns out to be a little strange, shy, quiet, doesn't seem to have much in common with Adam at all really. Sure in Adam's vision this man would be clean and well dressed, and sure whilst he is clean you could say some of his clothes are scruffy and once undressed they discover a HUGE mound of smelly pubic hair that doesn't look like its been trimmed in about 5 years and will make sex very unpleasant for everyone.

 

You know in Adam's vision this man would speak with his girlfriend / would respect her / would have a real interest in getting to know her / would want her to feel relaxed and comfy. Instead the guy they meet almost ignores Adam's wife all night until its time to shove his dick in her.

 

In his dream / vision Adam imagined that like him other people would be health conscious, you know like Adam he assumed that other people would get STD tests, however the guy they meet simply lies about been tested and ends up giving Adam and his wife Chlamydia.

 

If you are following me then sure these visions / these premonitions of how things will be / how things will go / who the person you meet should be can all be very dangerous.

 

You know the truth is you never really know what is going to happen, I mean for all you know the plan could go perfectly well and the second your about to have a threesome the fire alarm goes off and the hotel your in is actually on fire. You could spend two months planning the perfect night, and then when it comes your just about to have a threesome and half your family bang on the door for some totally random surprise visit.

 

When you make these visions your kind of setting yourself up to fail because honestly the chance of you actually meeting this person in your visions are less than 1% in fact they probably don't even exist. Please understand if you have a vision in your mind of how a threesome should go, well don't be surprised when it turns out NOTHING like you had planned.

 

New people coming into this lifestyle often have a habit of making these visions in their heads which then leads to drastic choices or statements such as:

 

If we meet someone they need to be like THIS.

 

If we meet someone they need to dress like THIS.

 

If we meet someone they need to be tall like THIS.

 

Like you begin enforcing this vision when really you don't actually have a clue who your going to meet yet, or if it will be anything like the vision you hoped.

 

Please understand swinging is NOT a supermarket, if I could go onto a swinging site and everyday could just say, hhmmmmmm......

 

Today I feel like having a young blonde women who squirts and giggles a lot and then just click a button and one appeared then sure that would be amazing, but that is not how life works, that is not how swinging works and all your best lad plans / visions / premonitions are all really a waste of time, and the more faith you put them the harder you will fall when threesomes turn out nothing like you imaged, or the person you end up meeting turns out to be nothing like you imagined.

 

I do feel this is a vital point in which case let me give you this example:

 

Adam: Well Adam is trying to SELL the idea of group sex to his wife, so Adam says:

 

“I mean imagine it babes we could meet a nice clean man, you know well dressed, friendly, clean, funny, someone nice to talk with, someone who has things in common with us, and yeah for some reason I'm like 100% sure that this persons sexual needs and desires will match ours, I mean everyone is like us right? So sure we can meet this perfect guy, who matches us, who has things in common with us, who wants the same type of sex as us, and WOW imagine the FRIENDSHIP that could grow, we could watch films, could have meals with him, it would be great!”

 

In reality Adam doesn't actually have a bloody clue if they will ever meet a man of that description, and even if they do has no idea if this man will enjoy the same sexual things, if this man will even be interested in any kind of friendship as believe me a lot of singles guys aren't at all, but sure Adam isn't selling his with swinging, he is selling his wife HIS VISION of swinging, and often when it happens its nothing at all like his vision.

 

Can you see how these visions can damage you and even your partner? You know a year later when they do finally meet a guy and he is NOTHING like Adam promised, nothing like the vision, then how do you think Adam's wife is going to feel? Please understand that no matter how well you plan things a night of swinging fun never really works out exactly to plan / exactly how you hoped.

 

19: THE PERFECT PERSON FOR US: Okay yet another big mistake a lot of new couples make, I mean guys let me save you time, the perfect person doesn't exist.

 

This is very similar to the point above but sure when a lot of couples first start this journey they begin to create this picture in their heads of the PERFECT PERSON FOR US.

 

They often imagine / dream of / think about this person who would almost join them on some perfect level. You know the person they choose to have a threesome with would basically be a perfect match for what they wanted.

 

This person would be the right height / right weight / like the same music / like the same food / have similar hobbies / would share our world views / would share our sexual views.

 

However please be warned that your probably NEVER going to meet a person who fits all of your criteria and hopes 100% perfectly, I mean be realistic!

 

In my honest experience of swinging about THE BEST you can hope for is like a 80% match. That sure maybe you do meet someone who does like the same music, does have the same world views, but actually they are a lot shorter than you would have hoped for or their body is really what you wanted. That sure you meet someone who does have the body, height, looks, weight that you like but they basically share very little in common.

 

I guess its about compromise, you know learning to figure out what your willing to compromise on and actually been realistic and flexible. For example if you really want to meet a man who is 6ft or taller, but suddenly a guy standing 5,8ft tall comes along and he just seems like a really nice person, seems like he matches you in loads of other ways then sure compromise, meet the shorter guy.

 

Some things you can comprise on such as height / hair colour / weight / body type, sure some things you can compromise on, but things such as hygiene, safety, your rules or comfort should not be compromised on just to meet someone.

 

Please if your NEW reading this then don't make the mistake of thinking your just going to meet this perfect person that matches your hopes 100% in every respect. I guess its hard to explain but basically in most cases you might really like the person you meet, but there will always be some things about them that you don't like very much, or that wasn't in your vision.

 

20: HOMOPHOBIC: Now this again is a very tricky topic, one for which could cause some backlash for me even saying this, but sadly it is true.

 

You see many people would think of “Swinging” to be this totally sexual, totally accepting place. You would imagine that us swingers would accept virtually anyone, straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, bi-curious, you know swingers would accept EVERYONE.... Yeah like fuck!!!!

 

In fact you might be shocked to find that within the swinging world there are countless men / women / and even couples who literally HATE gay, lesbian, or bisexual people and will often make their “Straight” freedom hating views known.

 

In some cases bisexual men have been physically attacked / thrown out of swingers clubs / thrown out of parties / blocked and banned from groups, generally because some homophobic straight guy is wielding the power.

 

You know within my time I have actually read posts by so called “Swingers” basically saying all gay people should be burnt / shot, so please understand if you think your coming into some big liberal open minded world where everyone expects peoples sexualities, then your kind of wrong, the truth is SOME people will accept your sexuality and some people wont.

 

You know that works both ways, often bisexual couples will look for other bisexual couples, and straight couples will look for other straight couples. Many couples in swinging actually have a “Straight Only” rule and will refuse to meet any man or couple who states bisexual.

 

I honestly find this kind of behaviour totally INSANE.

 

Honestly in nearly 3 decades in this lifestyle and I still can not wrap my head around this because basically in MANY CASES and I really do mean a LOT of cases we have a 100% straight man, who is basically verging on been homophobic and will belittle / attack / ridicule anyone who is gay or bisexual, but actually this guys biggest fantasy is standing their watching other guys dicks fucking his girls pussy, and sure he even wants to fuck her after, you know sloppy seconds.

 

Sure this guy get really turned on by the thought of fucking a women that's filled up with another man's cum. In fact in some cases this “Straight Man” not only wants to watch other men fucking his wife but wants to lick her pussy when they have finished, because you know eating another man's cum from a women's pussy isn't gay, so that is okay.

 

Its a really bizarre / strange set of rules that some people live by. I honestly find it so bizarre because a lot of it is religious based. You know been gay or bisexual is wrong, but having 4 guys around gang banging your wife is perfectly fine as long as the men don't touch each other, don't speak, don't make eye contact then it okay, then its not gay.

 

Like stated if you are NEW to this lifestyle then please understand some are tolerant of bisexual or gay people, and some really aren't at all. If you are gay or bisexual then on occasion expect to get some rude messages from homophobic men, OR, straight none homophobic men fiercely defending and their right to be straight, like anyone cares.

 

I mean please understand a lot of straight guys will jump up and say “I'm straight but I'm not homophobic” and then lead off into some anti gay defensive explanation about why been straight is the only way / why they are allowed to be straight / why God is on their side, and really just acting like a true homophobic person in the process.

 

You know thankfully the vast majority of swingers are nice accepting people who do have opens minds, where others could be classed as highly religious / homophobic / racist. I mean like stated we can't stop people from joining a swinging site, if they are the correct age or whatever then sure anyone can join, a heroin addict can join, racist, violent idiot.

 

So yes there are homophobic people in this lifestyle, some of which to the point of been dangerous. So yes in some respects swinging accepts everyone, but the people in swinging don't always accept everyone, so be mindful of this, be aware that for some people your sexuality might just be wrong, as like stated often you will find bisexual people meet bisexual people, straight people meet straight people so no matter your sexuality for some people it might just be wrong.

 

For the record here I'm not saying there is anything wrong with been straight, but in my eyes I don't think there is anything wrong with been bisexual / gay / lesbian, but seem many do disagree. Kind of funny really because the usual response here is for people to say the classic line.....

 

“Hey I'm straight and I have no issues with bisexual / gay / lesbian people, many of my friends are gay, and I'm perfectly fine with them as long as they never touch me, never come near me”

 

Great thanks for that, really helpful, I'm glad that you cleared that up for us because really we were all wondering, you know the entire world has been waiting for this news. I mean the facts are you either accept it or you don't. What I don't want is new couples / new singles coming into this lifestyle thinking that EVERYONE is accepting and open minded on sexuality, they really aren't!

 

I do also find this odd that it effects both men and women, that sure some men are repulsed by the idea of a gay man, but in turn a lot of women are as well. I mean like stated you would imagine swingers to be some of the most accepting and open minded people on the planet, but that isn't always the case so be careful, meet a couple with a similar sexuality as you, ECT.

 

21: FETISH: I feel I must warn any who is truly NEW about this subject.

 

You see within the swinging world we DON'T just cover swinging. In fact on swingers sites you will not only find swingers / single men / millions of cheating men / but you will also find countless fetish followers / bondage couples / cross dressers / feet sniffers / hair sniffers / and all sort of strange shit if I'm been honest, look hard enough and sure you will find couples into drinking blood or each others piss.

 

Now please understand that overall I'd like to class myself as a open minded and accepting sort of guy, and do believe that good or bad / right or wrong / swinging is a subject that should be open for everyone, doesn't matter is they are black or white, doesn't matter if they are Asian, doesn't matter their gender, age, weight, or sexuality, that YES swinging should be open to everyone, or at least everyone who is acting within the law.

 

However I must admit people who are into “Fetish” stuff sometime do annoy me, and you may ask WHY?

 

Well in many cases you can meet someone on a “Swinging Site” and you can arrange to meet this person for “SEX” and because you have agreed to have “SEX” this person automatically thinks you have ALSO agreed to take part in whatever weird fetish(s) they have, which I assure you I didn't.

 

Please imagine been in a room with a man who has one of these fetishes, and basically you agree to have SEX with him and within 1 second he says.....

 

“Cool, you have agreed to have sex with me, that means.......

 

“I can sniff your feet now right? I mean you have agreed to have sex with me so that means I can dress up in women's clothes now right? No I just heard you a moment ago, you agreed to have sex with me and that means I can spend the next hour combing and sniffing your hair?”

 

No actually we arrange to meet you for “SEX” on a swingers site where we look for “Group Sex” I didn't arrange to meet you so you can indulge your fetish. I mean no offence but go to a fetish club / join a fetish website / we agreed to meet you for SEX not for piss drinking / not for show sniffing / not for cross dressing, for SEX.

 

If your a NEW couple or single coming into this lifestyle and you begin speaking with someone and they either mention having a fetish, or have fetish pictures then please understand in most cases if you agree to play with them they WILL pull this fetish out of the cupboard and expect you to take part, even if you never agreed to.

 

Be careful here because people will make very innocent comments, for example they will say something like.....

 

“Yeah I don't mind playing with condom, and yeah I enjoy giving oral sex and things like that, kind of have small foot fetish, also like kissing and am happy to follow your rules and things”

 

You know all they actually said was “Have a small foot fetish” somewhere lost in the 20 messages you have sent each other and sure you arrive to meet this person and really all they want to do is spend the next two hours sniffing your feet / sniffing your shoes / licking your feet / talking about how amazing foot fetishes are, and really none of this sis what you have agreed.

 

The same often happens with cross dressers, in their messages they will say something like:

 

“I sometimes like wearing women's clothes but am happy to play with our without them”

 

You agree to have a normal group sex meeting, you arrive and everything seems normal, you head upstairs and get comfy and the man will slip off to the toilet and sure enough 5 minutes later he will come marching in the room in all the gear, dress / suspenders / wig / knickers and then will proceed to ruin all of the night with his fetish. I mean personally I'd just walk, I no longer allow people to ambush me with fetishes, I agreed to sex, not fetish.

 

This again can truly hurt new couples coming into this lifestyle, that a new couple comes into swinging, they have a few meets and end up meeting a surprise cross dresser and a guy who was more interested in sniffing feet and sure they hit delete on their account, another couple gone.

 

In other cases couples have agreed to have “SEX” only to arrive at another couples house and walk in to find a full on bondage sex dungeon, which yet again we never even agreed to, that actually NO THANKS we do NOT want to be tied up and restrained in a strangers house thanks, and no we do not want gags or anal butt plugs shoved anywhere near us thanks.

 

Personally if I owned / ran a swinging website I'd specifically go around deleting profiles that were geared up towards fetish. You want to do bondage, great join a bondage website them. You want to sniff feet, cool join a feet sniffer website then, speak with other people who share that interest, do NOT try and thrust it onto young unsuspecting couples who are here for swing not for fetish.

 

Guess I feel so strongly about this because I have had a few very bad experiences with this, that I have been AMBUSHED by this stuff several times over the years and it has helped damage my relationships and swinging lifestyle. You know as a couple even discussing swinging can be hard, it can be a long and difficult process to discuss all of this as a couple, and then when some lovely young women does decide to give this lifestyle a try and she is thrust in front of some man who spends all night wanting to sniff or cut bits of her hair off then sure it can highly damage that couple, it can undo many months of work and effort.

 

Guess in my opinion it is basically “Rape” if you agree to have SEX with someone but half way through just pull out this strange fetish and just expect them to take part without even asking, without even explaining, then sure that is rape in my eyes.

 

You know I can honestly think of a lot of young women coming into this lifestyle who really does NOT WANT to see a middle age man dancing around in women's clothes before thrusting his bum in front of her and asking for gay anal sex with a toy. You know I'm super glad that is your fetish but you have just smashed my girlfriends opinion of this lifestyle, your fetish has just made a joke out of everything we actually wanted as a couple, but you know such people don't care, only about their fetish, only about making people take part in their fetish.

 

For the record I have also NEVER met anyone into fetish who hasn't tried to include it in play. That sure many people will SAY they are okay not exploring their fetish, then half way into the night they are pulling out their fetish toys and asking you to try? Eerrmmm NO THANKS I really do not want to use your second hand / used sex toys covered in your ass juice, and no I don't want to wear leather thongs or gimp masks, sorry that is not what we agreed.

 

But still they will TRY even when they promised they wouldn't. I remember many years ago now we met one guy who had a foot fetish, and sure at first I made it 100% clear that we wasn't interested in any kind of foot fetish and in fact my girlfriend really didn't like her feet been touched.

 

But still every time we met him he tried to include / indulge / talk about his foot fetish and after 3 meets we just had to call in a day, he was just to obsessed my feet to respect our wishes and sure you will find that with these people. Your desires, your rules, your boundaries really don't matter, they will just keep bringing it up until you either agree or leave.

 

I have to admit some peoples fetishes are very strange indeed, only last month or whatever a guy messaged me and basically his entire fetish is letting his wife watch other men rape him. That he is looking for men to walk into his house, and to forcefully act out a full on gay rape scenes in front of his wife. He literally wants his wife to sit their watching men rape him, because that is his fetish, so yes be careful as some people basically think fetish means sex, no actually sex means sex.

 

22: CHEATERS: Guess this is a mistake that can effect a lot of new couples.

 

Now I'll not ramble on to much here but any new couple should be aware that maybe 60 or even 70% of the “Single Male” profiles are NOT single men at all but are in fact cheating men who already have wives and girlfriends and are just USING swinging as an easy way to cheat.

 

Okay so we understand that fact now, but please understand these men are NOT SWINGERS!!!!

 

They care very little about sharing / communication / honesty / friendship / the social side / they are NOT swingers, they are just cheating men looking to fuck women.

 

I'm not saying they are all bad guys, in fact I bet some have good reason to cheat, but still many of them are not really swingers (some are) but not all of them. Just understand if you do meet a single man there is a dam good chance he has a wife or girlfriend at home that has no idea he is there.

 

Don't make the mistake of thinking every man who says “Single” is really single, and don't make the mistake of thinking every man on here is a swinger, many are just looking for pussy and have no real interest whatsoever in swinging as a subject or lifestyle.

 

23: DRUGS: This mistake can also catch new people off guard.

 

You see guys I honestly don't give a toss about your views on drugs, I don't really care if you love drugs or hate them. That is not the point. The point is that some people in the swinging world are going to have 100% different views regarding drugs.

 

Putting this very blunt guys a LOT of swingers are happy to meet for SEX in a fairly drug free manor. I mean sure they might drink some wine or smoke some tobacco but overall they are happy to meet in a sober drug free state.

 

Other couples however want to meet you, snort cocaine, take several ecstasy tablets and then spend the next 12 hours solid fucking you in immense drug educed threesome or whatever.

 

I strongly advise you to find out a persons feelings / views about drugs before meeting them. If your okay with meeting someone who does drugs then cool meet them, if your really NOT okay with meeting someone who does drugs then don't meet them, but either way it does help to find out before hand, to save you meeting a couple who clearly don't match in that regard.

 

I do WARN YOU here because this can be a tricky subject. I mean lets say your a man who smokes pot / weed. Okay so you meet a couple and begin to speaking to them, and sure you organise your entire group sex session, and sure you walk in their house smelling of Cannabis, and even have a bag of Cannabis in your coat, and actually the two people standing in front of you are actually police officers who also happen to be swingers.

 

Now I'm not saying they will arrest you for a little pot, but actually as police officers officers they probably won't want that in their home / near them / near their children, so in this case it can often pay to find out peoples opinions about drugs before jumping in to meet them.

 

 

24: DRINK: Kind of same deal as above really but a little different.

 

You see a lot of new couples do kind of make the mistake of thinking that “Alcohol” is NEEDED.

 

You know many swingers view a few glasses of wine or few beers as almost a ritual, a social way to ease the night, where don't be shocked because many swingers don't even drink alcohol AT ALL.

 

However one of the bigger mistakes here, one that I have seen an awful lot is simply people getting to drunk which is a REALLY easy mistake to make with swinging, in fact in this sense our body actually works against us.

 

You see what usually happens is that you sit down nice and relaxed and enjoy your wine. You are not really moving around much, your sat in a relaxed posture, and sure a glass of wine can quickly turn into 2 or 3 glasses of wine as we chat. Then the time comes and you all head upstairs, and sure after 30 minutes of group sex, after 3 or 4 glasses of wine sloshing around in your tummy, after your heart has been racing then sure suddenly your fairly bloody pissed / tired / ready to sleep drunk.

 

Had a fair few meetings in my life that have started fine but within an hour or two one of the women has drunk herself out of action and is been lifted into a car back home, you know its easy for a new couple to sink 4 or 5 drinks and before you know you are either yawning drunk or are simply to drunk to even have sex properly.

 

You know drink can help a night, but drink to much to quickly and it can ruin nights just as quickly. I mean shit my ex girlfriend was notorious, if I didn't keep her away from the wine she would sink about 5 glasses and for the rest of the night would be drunk giggling baboon basically, that on various occasions I had to take her home after a little to much.

 

I guess just be careful not to take the drinking to far, that if you want to enjoy group sex then enjoy that, you want to get drunk then go to a nightclub or bar if that makes sense.

 

 

25: COFFEE & TEA: Well really you could just say drinks with caffeine in them, be that a hot drink like tea or coffee, or a energy drink.

 

Okay so what's the mistake? Well the mistake is not offering your guests these drinks / not having these drinks on hand. You see often in the swinging world we actually meet fairly late in the evening / early night time.

 

You know people get home from work about 17:30, they eat, shower, get ready and by 20:00 their guests arrive. Now generally these people will have been working all day, they will be getting tired, that basically giving someone a coffee or small energy drink just before some group sex action isn't going to hurt, that it will help them stay awake longer leading to even more group sex.

 

Think I mentioned this in another post but basically during one of my three way relationships with two women we would often go out to bars / clubs and things like that, and sure me and the girls would crash into the house half drunk at 1am and sure the first thing I'd do is flick on the kettle and offer them a coffee.

 

Now in all honesty if I hadn't have offered them a coffee then we would have probably gone upstairs, had a quick half drunk threesome and fallen asleep half drunk. In this case I'd spend 15 minutes having a nice strong coffee with the girls and then we would go upstairs and I'd have to fairy energetic girls who where happy to look after me for the next 2 or 3 hours before they started yawning again, guess you could say I fed them coffee to get more group sex, I mean does that make me a bad person? Want a coffee?

 

26: CONDOM USE: Well honestly this subject is to big to cover here but yes this is a mistake that a lot of people can make.

 

I mean there are a lot of problems with condoms, they can break / they can leak / on many occasions they are to big or to small / that they are not the most attractive or comfy of things.

 

However this is NOT the mistake I'm talking about, you see a lot of couples will use condoms to protect against STD's which sounds really wise :) you know it is wise.

 

However that same couple then have oral sex / give oral sex / receive oral sex without condoms, without any protection and basically YES you can catch all of the major STD's just by giving or receiving oral sex.

 

Now at this stage someone will jump up and say......

 

“YES but actually you have less chance of catching HIV by giving oral sex compared to vaginal or anal sex”

 

Yeah personally I'd prefer a 0% chance of catching HIV

 

The mistake I don't want new / young people to make here is thinking just because you use a condom for the actual sex part, you can STILL catch virtually all of the STD's and sexual infections just by giving or receiving oral sex.

 

YES there has been studies that suggest you are at a lower risk by giving or receiving oral sex, but that is kind of like saying you might dodge 50% of the bullets. I don't know maybe your chance of catching HIV during actual sex is like 60% where oral sex its only 30%.

 

Sure it might be lower but like 30% is not 0% so yes you are taking a risk by giving and receiving oral sex. For a strange example here you could actually meet a man and use condoms at first, but if that friendship becomes a regular thing, if your having lots of unprotected oral sex anyway then in the long run you could take off the condom as well if that makes sense, that once you have given someone enough oral sex then sooner or later your going to have any STD they have anyway.

 

 

 

27: LIGHTS: Guess this is a silly mistake to mention but basically a lot of new people don't really think about the lighting in their bedroom / area of play.

 

This might sound strange because honestly I don't mind having sex with the lights on. You know a lot of people like having sex with lights on, me included. However what I do NOT WANT is a light so bright that it hurts our eyes / that its so bright its like day light.

 

You know when you first meet someone its common to be nervous, that maybe the women do not want full on super bright lights that will show every detail or flaw of their body. You know maybe a softer lighting would actually help people feel comfy.

 

I am not talking about dark, you know just a normal bed side lamp would do, just not a huge overhead light that is illuminating the entire room like day light. Like stated a lot of women I have dated despite them been very attractive have felt better with a lower light setting and not a full on super bright room.

 

Kind of find students make this mistake a lot, you know they move into a student room and end up bringing a women home and really all they have is two huge strip lights above them in a little student flat. The poor girl ends up feeling like a peace of KFC chicken shoved under one of these heat lamp things to keep it warm, turn off the light and flick on a simple lamp and suddenly you have a much cosier setting.

 

28: NOT EXPLAINING BOUNDARIES: This can cause a huge problem for a lot of new couples, especially those who are looking to meet single men, or sometimes other couples.

 

You see a big mistake a lot of new people make is simply thinking that people know / understand / agree with your boundaries. However I could only suggest that your clearly write out your boundaries in a message and send it to your potential play mates, and if you do end up meeting them you then confirm this in person face to face.

 

Lets look at a quick example here:

 

Adam: Well Adam decided to try a MFM threesome with his wife, and sure after looking around they met a guy and had a threesome, in fact it went really well.

 

I'm glad for Adam, however two days later Adam gets a panicked phone call from his wife because this guy has actually walked in her workplace looking for her. This guy has walked into your wife's workplace and began asking other staff members if they know where she is?

 

Adam is furious, how dare this man approach his wife's workplace, what the hell does he think he is doing? The moment he is back from his business trip me will sort it out.

 

The next morning Adam wakes up after a rough and worried nights sleep when his phone rings, its his wife again, now this man is actually stud outside there house and has knocked on the door twice, in fact Adam's wife is now really scared and wonders if she should call the police.

 

OKAY so what happens? Well Adam messages or approaches this man and asks why the hell he is stalking his wife?

 

What does the man say in return?

 

“Well you never told me I couldn't come over to your house and just pop by”

 

“Well you never told me I couldn't pop into your wife's work if I was in the area”

 

“You never SET THOSE BOUNDARIES”

 

You know make you boundaries clear in at least one message, clearly spell out to people that you don't want uninvited guests / don't want people knocking on your door even if they are just in the area / that you do not want people approach your home / work / lives unless invited.

 

If you clearly state your boundaries, if this other person(s) agrees to those boundaries and then breaks them, then you automatically have a reason to break off that friendship.

 

This again is a tricky subject, you see unless you do fully express / explain your boundaries then people simply don't know. HOWEVER on some occasions even when you do explain your boundaries certain single men, or very horny men from couple will find “Loop Holes” for example.......

 

“Hey yeah you said not to come near your house, you said not to go near your work and I haven't done. Instead I just followed your wife to her gym and talked to her there instead, that was the loop hole you see you never said don't speak with her at the gym”

 

Putting it very blunt such men are usually just looking for an opportunity to get your wife alone and ask her for an affair / you know private / secret / 1 on 1 meets and not group sex. But sure you never said I couldn't approach your wife in the gym / on the street / at your children's school / at her favourite bar.

 

You know set boundaries, let this person know if they approach your wife anywhere, if they start asking to meet alone / talk with her alone / have affairs alone then sure that will be the entire friendship over in a second flat. Let people know you have boundaries and will be keeping them, you don't have to be nasty just explain your boundaries clearly so no one can say they didn't understand.

 

29: CLEAN SWEEP: I began doing this some years ago after a stalker incident, and sure I think this can potentially be a mistake new couples can make.

 

You see one tactic that is often used by stalkers / cheaters / weirdo's / people who want to ask your wife for affairs is basically to LEAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR HOUSE.

 

Say for example you meet a man for a MFM threesome, and really deep down this man isn't a very nice person, really he has hopes of stealing the wife / starting affairs / hurting a happily married couple. So he meets them for sex, he spends the evening in their home, during which he.

 

Kicks his watch under their bed.

 

Drops his hat behind their sofa.

 

Leaves his phone charger in the living room.

 

THEN within the next 2 or 3 days when the husband leaves for work this man will come knocking on your door seeing your wife swing open the door to find this guy just stud there.

 

He will instantly say.....

 

“I am so sorry for just calling like this but when I was here the other day I think I left my watch / phone charger / or whatever other bullshit I planted in your house. Can I know come into your home with you alone whilst your husband is at work, because I want to fuck you, my dick is tingling right now and really if you let me in I can try and speak you into an affair?”

 

You know this dickhead has literally planted something in your house just to give them an excuse to turn up a few days later without been invited.

 

With this in mind I created a simple strategy called “CLEAN SWEEP” and basically when we meet someone and finish playing I will quickly check each room we have used.

 

Now during this quick clean sweep I follow a simple friendly process, so for example:

 

We have just finished playing with a guy and he is getting his clothes on, so I will say “Sure you have got everything?” In a friendly helpful manor. Then might look under the bed and say “Nope you haven't dropped anything under the bed” then will look at the bed side table and say “Nope and you have forgotten anything on there”

 

You know I'm scanning the room, glancing under the bed quickly, looking at the bedside tables, then obviously we move back downstairs to the living room, and again I'm having a quick look around. I'm checking behind the sofa to make sure he hasn't dropped anything, am looking at the sides of the cushions to make sure he hasn't shoved anything down there and will then say.

 

“Nope doesn't look like you have dropped anything there, I mean that sofa is a nightmare it eats everything, but is all clear. Anyway if you have forgotten anything in our home or find anything is missing please don't just come round as we have family visiting soon, if you do ever forget anything just give me a message and we will look around our house and check for you first”

 

I mean one of our boundaries as a couple if that we do not want people coming to our home under any circumstances unless they have been invited by us first. One of the loop holes around this boundary is for the person to accidentally try and leave something in your home so they can return later with an excuse in hand.

 

30: FEAR OF MEDICAL SITUATIONS: This again can be a dangerous mistake.

 

You see on rare occasion you will meet someone who basically has an extreme fear or phobia of medical situations, these people often hate doctors / hate hospitals / have needle phobias / in extreme cases these people will even say things like......

 

“If anyone ever tried to give me an injection I'd punch them”

 

“I hate hospitals, hater going to the doctors, hate anything medical”

 

Well these things are VERY TELLING.

 

You see if a person is scared to death of medical settings / if they have extreme phobias of needles / if they distrust any doctors or medical environments then please ask yourself WHEN has this person ever been tested for STDS?

 

If this person hates all things medical and has medical phobias then do you really think they are going to freely walk into a medical clinic to give blood for STD testing?

 

31: BAD MOUTHING: Another great mistake to watch out for.

 

Sometimes you will meet a person for a social meeting and during you chat / during your coffee or whatever I'd strongly suggest you ask this person about their last few romantic partners and see how they react? Ask them about their friends and family and see how they react?

 

If you meet someone who just constantly “Bad Mouths” and speaks bad about other people behind their backs then this is a serious red flag that should not be ignored even in the swinging world.

 

This can take many forms but say for example you meet a guy and when you ask him about his last few partners he says something like....

 

“Yeah don't really want to talk about that bitch, she was a horrible lying person, it was all her fault we broke up, she never listened anyway”

 

Then maybe later you ask about his family, and mean does he have family, are they still alive, do they live in the same city? You know just making small talk and he replies by saying:

 

“Yeah my family are still around but one of my brothers is a dickhead, and really I don't like his wife either she is a really nosy cow”

 

The straight away your getting the vibe that this person does speak behind peoples backs / he does say nasty things about people / that in the future if you upset him it will be YOU he is bad mouthing / your business he will be spreading.

 

This however can take on other forms, a few examples would be.....

 

You get served your drinks and the person says:

 

“Huff that waiter was terrible, just pathetic how he asked twice what we would like to order, obviously an idiot”

 

You get out of a taxi and the person says.....

 

“That taxi driver was so dumb, what an idiot, couldn't even figure out where he was going”

 

Now was that true? Was the taxi driver really an idiot?

 

These things are hall mark signs of an abusive person, if they always bad mouth other people / if they always complain / always attack other peoples services then sure this is danger town, this person won't be making you a very safe swinging partner.

 

 

32: CRIMINAL LANGUAGE: This is hard to describe but a mistake I'd ask new people to look for.

 

You see sometimes you can meet a person and the way they speak / what they speak about / how they speak can start altering you to issues. That sometimes you can meet a person for a social drink and as you listen to them speak it becomes obvious that:

 

They know gang words and slang / they seem to know the street prices of drugs / they seem to know street lingo, street words, code words used for drugs or crime,

 

Like stated this is hard to describe but generally criminals do know a little about weapons / drugs / crime / criminal politics. This can also be a knowledge of local police procedures / court systems / prison systems / rehab centres and so on.

 

Like stated its hard to explain a few examples of what these people might say are things like....

 

“Yeah don't worry the police don't come round here this time of night”

 

“Yeah one of my mates got arrested near there”

 

“Yeah of you got arrested here you would be taken to the police station on King Street”

 

“Last time I cam to this bar someone tried to sell me some Cannabis but he wanted $20 and they was only like $10 worth there”

 

Like stated it is hard to explain but if you run across someone who just seems to have a strange somewhat backward view or knowledge of things like prisons / police stations / courts / rehab centrers / offenders units / mental health units / sheltered housing projects / homeless centres then unless they specifically work in those types of fields you really need to ask yourself where the hell they got this knowledge.

 

 

33: HATRED FOR POLICE: This for me is an instant warning sign.

 

You see I have smoked Cannabis in my life, I have tried other recreational dance drugs in my life, but during all of this I can't ever say I have HATED police and am always cautious of people who do and often wonder if there is more behind the story.

 

I mean in fairness you say I am bias, that actually I was nearly a police officer myself at one point and sure one of my three way relationships with women was actually with a police women, so sure I guess you could say I'm bias but honestly I'm really not.

 

In fact my feelings are irrelevant, what matters is that people who usually have a deep hatred for police are usually criminals / drug dealers / rapists / murders / gang members / drug addicts.

 

I mean sure a lot of ordinary hard working people don't end up liking the police very much, you know some people do genuinely have some bad experiences with police, not all police officers are good. I mean YES in some cases this person might just been a normal person who just happens to distrust police a little because of a bad experience or something.

 

However those who do have a true hatred / true avoidance / true distrust for all police are usually criminals themselves or have been.

 

You know as a honest hard working person I might say I don't like police because one pulled me over and was rude to me. You know a criminal would perhaps say “F**k those pigs, you don't ever want to trust them, don't even speak to them man” You know your average person doesn't have that must distrust or hate towards police, not without a dam good reason.

 

Guess I'm trying to say as a new person coming into the swinging the world just be cautious of people who do have extreme hatreds towards police, they usually is a reason for that and that reason might not be so safe. YES like discussed it might be a honest, genuine, real reason or bad experience with police, but sometimes it can mean a lot more, it can mean real danger.

 

 

34: VIOLENT SEX: Honestly this one should have been much closer to the top, this one is actually VITAL and something I'd please, please ask any new couple or person to understand.

 

Now this is not a joke, this is a 100% true and known fact, this is a fully documented situation by no less than the FBI themselves.

 

You see its a known fact that a huge amount of serial killers / murders / rapists are in fact totally fixated on rough or violent sex. Honestly half of the worst serial killers in history have been violently / sexually motivated.

 

If you meet someone in the swinging world and all they talk about his totally rough sex / violent sex / causing pain / sex torture / humiliating women / forcing women to do things / been rough with women / watching violent porn / enjoying rough porn / ECT.

 

The sure this again can be a huge warning sign. YES in some cases its all perfectly innocent, in some cases they are just a highly sexed person who happen to like rough sex and violent sex games in a fun or light manor. Other times these people can be seriously unstable / violent / predators so again I'll leave that to your judgement.

 

I'd also ask you to understand that like 50% of the deaths / murders that occur between couples actually happen in these bizarre rough sex games. You know that young couple trying out strangulation sex and takes it to far. That couple trying violent and rough sex and the husband accidentally breaks her neck / smashes her skull.

 

That sure these violent sex games / rough sex games can go wrong, they can escalate. Now don't get me wrong I'm a NOT saying there is anything wrong with rough sex. Rough sex is good sex, but just be careful of people who do seem overly fixated on just violent and rough sex, according to people like the FBI such things are red flags for serial killers and rapists, ECT.

 

 

35: DON'T TIE ME UP: One mistake I'd ask new people to avoid is agreeing to be tied up / bound / restrained by anyone that you do not know well.

 

I mean no offence but if your handcuffed to a chair or bed and these people turn nasty then honestly you might not even walk out alive! I would not suggest that any new couple / new person just meets someone online and agrees to let them use ropes / restraints / handcuffs, I would at very least like to know this person better first, get use to meeting them, ECT.

 

 

I better run.

 

Hope this helps someone x

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CIiffy, I haven't had a thousand yard stare since I was in the service. Self quarantine must be very hard on you.

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Very hard, had to close down my main business, day two of lockdown :(

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My mistake was after getting lucky twice with hubby David and my boyfriend Red, I thought I was magic and it was all so easy.

 

So there was a guy who caught my attention, I wanted to fuck him too, I told hubby about it, and as usual he said, "Whatever you want, Pet."  (Short for Petra, or my nickname "Petunia," which I hate.)  So I started with Sam, but from the beginning it seemed off.  He said that something must be wrong with my husband if he knowingly let me fuck someone else.  (No, it was because he loved me, and let me have what I wanted.)  Sam wasn't interested in my satisfaction, i.e. orgasming, he was interested in trying every position and thinking that his orgasm was enough for me.  Now I can cum pretty quickly when necessary, but it was more than that, he didn't concentrate on me, so I was left unsatisfied.  (Which made me appreciate Red and hubby even more.  I came home fucked over, but really needed my "home cooking."  Amazing how bad sex leaves you wanting more sex.)

 

The worst was yet to come.  After Sam found that I was the kind of girl that would suck and swallow, that became his thing, but he never offered to go down on me afterwards, I had to force him.  Eventually, the rule became he could fuck me, but had to eat me to orgasm before I would finish him off orally.  Then he found that I was the kind of girl who would let a guy put his penis into my bum.  He became totally inconsiderate and that's all he wanted to do after being blown for a while.  I had to insist that he make me cum vaginally and orally before he could go into my anus.

 

My husband is a saint and the wise man in all of this.  I would come home, we'd have sex (because despite what Sam did I still needed to fuck my husband and Red) and I would complain about how badly it was going.  He told me it wasn't my responsibility to make this work, it wasn't a failure on my part, that I could end it.  He was right.  So instead of going to Sam's place, I got a really nice hotel room (with flower petals on the bed) on a Saturday afternoon and made Sam do sex my way, in my cunt, the positions I wanted and stay in me until I came several times.  Then I forced him to eat me out (with one gentle lubed finer in my bum) until I came again.  Then I got in the (really big, fancy) bathtub, had him wash me, and left.  I wish I could say I never saw him again, but we cross paths professionally. 

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On 9/8/2004 at 10:30 AM, EvilMJ said:

I think (even though we are Newbies) that our biggest mistake was going to far to quick. We should have started with more of a soft swing approach instead of jumping right in to full swing. We also went into separate rooms which was a real mistake. Live and learn I guess

well thank you for your comment, I find all these comments interesting and very helpful..  so why was going into separate rooms a mistake?

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On 9/8/2004 at 12:26 PM, CB_n_Red said:

 

That was pretty well our biggest mistake early on - in fact it happened the first time we played with another couple as opposed to a single male. We went along with the intention of it being a purely social meet. Inevitably, after a few drinks (and then a few more) it seemed like a great idea to go for it there and then. Not that we were planning soft swing though. Anyway, it ended up in separate rooms - not a good idea as it turned out. We put it down to inexperience and didn't worry about it.

 

CB

why is seperate rooms a mistake?

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John & Emily, separate rooms may or may not be a mistake for you.

 

For your first experience, the sight and sounds of your spouse as they mate with someone else can be a tremendously erotic event, to be relived over and over as you recall the loss of your monogamous 'virginity.' In addition, the wife often is a bit nervous, that her husband is so close can calm her, help her to feel more safe.

 

On the other hand, the thought and sight of his wife with another man can often give a newbie husband ED; sometimes (but not always,) being away from her allows him to concentrate on the woman he's with and respond to her better. Also if there is jealousy on either's part, it can sometimes be better handled.

 

Either way can be a perfect time, or it may in retrospect, be a 'mistake.'

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One reason that separate rooms might be a mistake is that what one imagines might be more than the reality.

Before trust based on experience is a real thing, if there is any point of insecurity , that insecurity may very well be part of the imagined scenario.

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10 hours ago, John & Emily said:

why is seperate rooms a mistake?

Welcome to swinging.
Separate is not a mistake, it was the only way for us. I was able to enjoy without worrying that my husband would be watching everything that was happening. I also didn’t have to watch what I knew was going on in the other room. We played with a couple we just met on vacation and I was free to be me. I felt wanted and desired by a man who didn’t rush me as we were going to spend the whole night together. This happened years ago and still a night I cherish. 
The next day we had sex in the same room and I honestly can say if the night before didn’t happen I would say swinging is horrible, don’t do it. 
Men act differently in front of others, the real person will show when you are alone. There are those who will say swinging is a couple experience and I understand that, for me it’s a ME thing. I have no problem letting my husband enjoy his time, I am not a voyeur nor an exhibitionist. 

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When we played with a couple it was really fun to start out with.  Was more of a foursome on the same bed except guys didn’t interact.  When we sort of split off and swapped i had fun and was never jealous.  We did soft play stuff.  Thing is I didn’t find myself looking at them as if it was too much for my eyes to handle.  So I suggested separate room for our next time since we plan to explore further anyways.  My husband doesn’t want to do separate rooms.  I understand.  Its odd on the one hand it was like a fantasy for me to watch him with another woman and maybe still is.  Just its hard for me to let go of my insecure or a little bit jealous side.  We had an ffm threesome and that was a disaster but thats not something i want. to do again.  If it spun out of a couple friend in the future maybe.  We will see

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Honey’s big complaint is guys who cum taste horrible. I watch what I eat when I know we are going to be with a girl or couple. Honey told me that my cum was bitter after eating ice cream and sweet after eating fruit and I looked it up and found pineapple makes you sweet. Most of the time we are either having me sucked or Honey licks out my cum from the girl we are with and I want everyone happy. Also drink plenty of water that day so you have more cum. 

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2 hours ago, MidwestHoneys said:

Honey’s big complaint is guys who cum taste horrible. I watch what I eat when I know we are going to be with a girl or couple. Honey told me that my cum was bitter after eating ice cream and sweet after eating fruit and I looked it up and found pineapple makes you sweet. Most of the time we are either having me sucked or Honey licks out my cum from the girl we are with and I want everyone happy. Also drink plenty of water that day so you have more cum. 

It's the acids combined with fructose, which is an important component in semen. Fruits in general offset the bitterness, probably tomato, too. Pineapple became a meme somehow. Supposedly, protein-rich foods might also help add a salty component, which offsets the perception of bitterness, too. Coffee and alcohol don't help.

 

Lecithin is purported to help with libido and also build semen volume and consistency, too. IMO, it works.

 

These days I make a big fruit and oats smoothie every morning with protein and concentrated greens, and a tablespoon of lecithin. Not specifically for that, but it works. There are other supplements I'm interested in experimenting with but haven't gotten around to. Maybe I'll get Mrs. E a lab coat for her birthday, or, I guess, my birthday.

Edited by EastInWest

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We are still relative newbies so many of these mistakes are still fresh in our collective mind. 

 

For us, it should have been apparent when one member of the other team was much more into the situation than the other.

By the time we got into the bedroom, it was not what was expected. 

We now try to ascertain early on whether both partners of the other couple are fully on board. 

Are they fully on board re: the LS (one question) and are they fully on board in terms of their 

attraction/interest in us (another question entirely). 

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On 4/16/2021 at 9:57 AM, EastInWest said:

Lecithin is purported to help with libido and also build semen volume and consistency, too. IMO, it works.

I watched when someone pulled off 16 squirts of cum on Honey’s face, don’t know how many ounces.  I usually can squeeze out 8 or 9 when I’m fresh. Bet it’s only a spoonful total. You said lecithin, I have to check that out. 

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On 4/24/2021 at 9:49 AM, MidwestHoneys said:

I watched when someone pulled off 16 squirts of cum on Honey’s face, don’t know how many ounces.  I usually can squeeze out 8 or 9 when I’m fresh. Bet it’s only a spoonful total. You said lecithin, I have to check that out. 

Much like fish oil, people make a bunch of claims about lecithin, some of which are supported by research and some aren't. The active nutritional component is choline, and there's at least one documented case of a patient with Alzheimer's who was getting a megadose of choline for an unrelated condition and had to be taken off it because he began "displaying inappropriate behavior" toward nurses, including "improved erectile function".

 

IMO, it contributes to a thicker consistency, which some people probably interpret as "more". You can get a pound of sunflower lecithin powder from the NOW Foods brand for ten bucks, or just eat more eggs. I like eggs but get sick of them easily.

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Our early swinging mistake was being far to trusting. We thought every couple was like us and just looking for fun together. How wrong were we! Negotiating the world of swinging was far more difficult! From unicorn hunting couples to couples who's marriage is literally falling apart, and not to mention the couples who need to snort a line before a meet - we've encountered them all!

 

These days we are very experienced and can spot fakes, dreamers and down right weirdos from a mile away.

 

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First time we did this with complete strangers it turned out somon's wife had started her lady month and was asked if we wanted to  call it off. I asked Katrin and she was realy up for it when we met the couple it was agreed jayne would be ok kissing and oral with me and simon and Katrin could do as planned. we were in the same romm and as jayne was giveing me oral i looked accross and saw katrin getting a real hard fucking and felt a little cheated it was only when simon cum in katrin and they laid there and i wa still waiting for my climax i knew that i wasnt cheated as simon cumming in katrin was the trigger for my climax too. We met them a few more times and loved it but it seemed to be getting personal in a way of knowing them so we stopped meeting moveing onto new partners is this cheated feeling things others have felt too. I dont regret anything that we have done in the last few years and hope to enjoy others too.

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1 hour ago, shoesr said:

somon's wife had started her lady month and was asked if we wanted to  call it off

Although there's no oral on a woman when one of us is on the rag (I like that euphemism), the guys have no problem sticking their dick in a bloody cunt.  It does wash off easily enough, not as icky as anal.

 

And two other things.  We use birth control that minimizes our menses.  Second, Lora and I get hornier around our period, Clair stays the same, so we initiate sex a lot during that time and the guys know they have to perform.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, couplers said:

Although there's no oral on a woman when one of us is on the rag (I like that euphemism), the guys have no problem sticking their dick in a bloody cunt.  It does wash off easily enough, not as icky as anal.

 

And two other things.  We use birth control that minimizes our menses.  Second, Lora and I get hornier around our period, Clair stays the same, so we initiate sex a lot during that time and the guys know they have to perform.

 

 

Maybe next ime then i should just carry on as normal never realy into fucking girls at that time but maybe try as a new thing but as ive said katrin always gets what she wants and rightly so

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On 1/30/2024 at 7:23 AM, couplers said:

Although there's no oral on a woman when one of us is on the rag (I like that euphemism), the guys have no problem sticking their dick in a bloody cunt.  It does wash off easily enough, not as icky as anal.

 

And two other things.  We use birth control that minimizes our menses.  Second, Lora and I get hornier around our period, Clair stays the same, so we initiate sex a lot during that time and the guys know they have to perform.

I don't know about the other guys on here, but I never let a women's period stop me from going down on her. I have done this since I was a teenager and still enjoy it. I enjoy finishing up with a red ring around my mouth!

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12 hours ago, let's do it again said:

I don't know about the other guys on here, but I never let a women's period stop me from going down on her.

For us, it's a girl thing.  😜

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