Men: Are you Bi-curious, Bi-sexual, or just plain sexual?

[olycouple 62]

So, I've been reading around on this site, adding my two cents very rarely because it always seems what I would say has already been said (gosh you guys are good!). But, now I have a true "wondering". I usually only see the women on SLS and other "friend finder" sites listed as bi, bi-curious, bi-comfortable, etc. I've only seen a few men.

 

In the world of swinging, does the bi-sexuality rest on the female? Is that the connection between most couples? I ask this in all earnestness (and ignorance). I am what I would call bi-curious. Recently, however, I heard an interview on NPR with Micheal Stipes of R.E.M. He brought up an interesting thought when asked about his sexual orientation. He said he saw sexuality as a continuum and that all of us moved around on that continuum...the point being that none of us are really "straight" "bi" or "gay/lesbian". It was an interesting, gentle, intellectual attack on labeling human sexuality. I find that hot.

 

I find the idea of sexuality to be fluid, but so many men seem absolutely closed to the idea of any cross-over activity between males. Am I missing something? Or is there a taboo against this in the swinging world? Just wondering. Maybe I should make this a poll.

[olycouple 62]

Okay...I may have just answered my own question...I obviously didn't look closely enough at the list of forums, as I have just found the sexuality issues forum. I think I may find what I'm looking for there.

 

Thanks.

[two42lovers 273]

The idea of everyone being bisexual is nothing new - Kinsey said the same thing in 1948. But there are social inhibitions against male bisexuality.

 

How people list their orientation on a swinger site may not tell the whole story. Plenty of guys who label themselves as straight on the swing sites are nonetheless open to varying degrees of same-sex play. There are a lot of women who are listed as bi but who are really more "bi-passive" than anything else. (Receiving is one thing, but giving is something else.)

 

People do take their cues from the people around them. It seems fashionable for women to be bisexual, but the opposite is true for men. You always hear about women who want to please their guy by putting on a bi show. The idea of "bi-for-show" is nothing new. Plenty of women find the whole concept offensive, but it clearly goes on all the time.

 

On the other hand, any guy who is listed even as "bi-curious" might easily be categorized as really only seeking same-sex play. A guy who is only slightly or mildly bi, but much more into women, might not want to label himself that way. If he never plays with men that might be just fine, he might be happy to stick with straight sex.

[theflamekasters 20]

As a straight man, I think it is a big double standard. Why is it ok for two woman but not ok for two men? I don't care who does what to whom if that is your deal. I think that part of the problem is people are scared of diseases. We know several couples that have told us that they are worried about STD's with in bi men. But to be in the lifestyle you have to be a rather open sexually. Not saying I want to sword fight, but a naked man touching me by mistake or a dude walking around naked sure don't bother me.

[good times 991]

We know a few bi-males in the lifestyle, and it may be true that were it more accepted there might be a few more willing to admit that they are bi, or at least bi-curious. But in reality, there are very few bi-males, and as long as that is the case I doubt if we will see much more acceptance of bi-male activity. I would also argue that, from our experience, there are a lot less bi-females than it would appear.

 

The way it appears to me is that there are a lot of guys that get really turned on by girl/girl sex, and I think this has a dramatic effect on the amount of women you see on the ad sites listed as bi or bi-curious. In other words, they are not really bi or bi-curious, but their husbands are really into it so they play along. On the other side of that coin, very few women I have met get sexually excited about seeing guy/guy sex. So I think a higher proportion of the guys you see listed as bi, actually are, compared to the girls listed as such.

 

As far as the theory of everybody being a little bit bi goes, I think that is total BS. I for one, and most every male I know, have absolutely zero sexual desires for other males. Does that mean we are phobic to the point of fearing incidental contact with other guys? Absolutely not, as long as it is unintentional and happens in the process of having sex with a woman, we don't even notice it or give it a second thought most of the time.

[Chicup 41]

We know a few bi-males in the lifestyle, and it may be true that were it more accepted there might be a few more willing to admit that they are bi, or at least bi-curious. But in reality, there are very few bi-males, and as long as that is the case I doubt if we will see much more acceptance of bi-male activity. I would also argue that, from our experience, there are a lot less bi-females than it would appear.

 

The way it appears to me is that there are a lot of guys that get really turned on by girl/girl sex, and I think this has a dramatic effect on the amount of women you see on the ad sites listed as bi or bi-curious. In other words, they are not really bi or bi-curious, but their husbands are really into it so they play along. On the other side of that coin, very few women I have met get sexually excited about seeing guy/guy sex. So I think a higher proportion of the guys you see listed as bi, actually are, compared to the girls listed as such.

 

As far as the theory of everybody being a little bit bi goes, I think that is total BS. I for one, and most every male I know, have absolutely zero sexual desires for other males. Does that mean we are phobic to the point of fearing incidental contact with other guys? Absolutely not, as long as it is unintentional and happens in the process of having sex with a woman, we don't even notice it or give it a second thought most of the time.

 

I have to agree with pretty much all of this, so that sort of eliminates what I was going to say in this thread.

[two42lovers 273]

The way it appears to me is that their are a lot of guys that get really turned on by girl/girl sex

 

Yep, and there seem to be a lot of women who go along just to please their guys. Not judging it, whatever they are into is fine, as long as everyone is enjoying themselves, and it's all smiles.

 

As for Kinsey's ideas, a lot of people think he's crazy - you are in good company -lol! Some guys are so "hetero" they can't imagine playing in an MFM threesome - the idea of another guy around is a deal breaker. Some guys would say a MFM is bisexual...

[cupl4fun 361]

Mrs. Cupl4fun loves to think about and watch two guys, and at times I have watched with her. Like any guy my fantasy was always to see her with another girl (which we've now done ), but Mrs. Cupl truly is Bi. But would it be all that different for two guys to do it? I don't think so. I think male same sex acts just carry more of a social stigma than female same sex acts along with a definite double standard. I've often wondered if Mrs. Cupl wanted me to experiment with a same sex act whether I might try just for her pleasure. I mean sex is sex. Although guys don't get me excited like girls though. Does the fact that I might consider it make me bi-curious? I don't know. I like the stuff from Michael Stipes about not putting labels on people or their sexuality. Not sure what this rambling post is saying. This thread and its posts just got me thinking.

[tribbles 490]

Some guys would say a MFM is bisexual...

 

I think part of the problem is just that...what is bi?

 

Even for the ladies, when they are only into getting and not giving, is that bi? What about when they tease and touch only to turn on the guys but they aren't into it for themselves? Are they bi?

 

Mostly bi-male activity is semi taboo to totally taboo so most sorta, kinda, maybe a tiny bit bi guys, still call themselves straight. Some clubs ban guys who are bi. Others will ban guys if someone says they are bi.

 

Why admit to it if it's a tiny part of your interest if it gets you banned from the playgrounds?

[olycouple 62]

Okay...I may have just answered my own question...I obviously didn't look closely enough at the list of forums, as I have just found the sexuality issues forum. I think I may find what I'm looking for there.

 

Thanks.

 

Had I done my homework a little more thoroughly on this site before I posted this (as I found the -bi-sexuality- thread in the sexuality issues forum after I posted this questions), I probably would not have posted. Not only has this issue come up on this site time and time again...but the same discussions have been had (apparently, I'm just behind the times). I do appreciate the positive response, however. On other threads, the reaction was, shall I say, negative to say the least. Maybe it's just the way I phrased it that avoided bristling hairs?

 

I'm not really sure about this whole continuum of sexuality. If I had to label myself I'd say I'm straight. Right now. I've only kissed two girls in my whole life, and I didn't like it either time. But, the fantasy pops up from time to time...especially with the right girl. I've had major crushes on two women since college. And they were heavy crushes that I wish I'd had the opportunity to pursue. But, I wouldn't consider myself bi...not yet, at least. Even if I got a hold of a girl I was totally into, I don't think I'd consider myself bi. I'm just sexual, I guess...and curious as hell about all kinds of sexual possibilities. It's like food for me. There are a lot of foods I haven't tried yet. There will be some I like and continue to eat forever, and there are some I will try and spit out before I swallow. I guess that says a lot about my repulsion about labels. I like sex with my husband. No, I love it! But can I say with all assurance that I like sex with men? That might imply "all" men to some. If that were the case, I wouldn't be able to leave my house and I wouldn't be able to walk. I'm hot for who I'm hot for. But, I do understand that some people are a little more exclusive about who gets in their pants. And that's okay, too.

[BorisNatasha 63]

Labels are for people who can't figure things out as they go along.

 

It's your life, do with it what you will. Worrying about what the other person thinks, and especially allowing it to influence your actions, will just make you miserable. That is a truism that is hard to accept, but the older you get the easier it is to follow, in our experience.

[Zoe&Wash 93]

Had an IM chat with our guy the other day - we've played straight MFM's with him a few times now and had a great time.

 

He was telling me he had the choice of picking up a pile of classic Playboys from a neighbor who was throwing them out and said to me "Well, I know what I do when I read porn, so maybe stroking off to someone else's magazines might be a just a bit gay."

 

Yeah, he sometimes thinks that way, but he's fun and Zoe loves him in bed.

 

I says, "You know, it's quite likely at this point that through no fault of your own, we've touched each other's junk."

 

There was a veerrrrryy long pause in his typing, and a subsequent subject change.

[good42 16]

Great thread ! Well I am a Bi male and we have a regular bi male playmate. Mrs Good42 loves it says we have the best of both worlds ( oh she also enjoys the odd encounter with another fem.) She likes to watch and join in - no anal just lots of oral and jacking and sex.

[Dynamar 246]

Some guys would say a MFM is bisexual...

Just because they say it, doesn't make them right.

[lovinher 505]

Kinsey has been proven to be wrong about a lot things and this one of them. I find the male body to be....let's just say less than attractive. I don't care how buff or good looking the guy may be. Does that make me homophobic? Some would say so but I know better.

[gsu22 187]

Sometimes I'd say "just plain sexual"....I don't find men that sexual appealing but sometimes the thought of two masculine men just jacking or sucking together gets me going.....anal sex between men doesn't get me excited.

 

I'll ALWAYS be more attracted to women though. The way a woman feels, tastes, etc is extremely erotic to me. And sometimes if I haven't had sex with a woman in a while the thought of just jacking or blowing another guy might be an easier to find alternative.

[realcplub2 513]

Labels are for people who can't figure things out as they go along.

 

It's your life, do with it what you will. Worrying about what the other person thinks, and especially allowing it to influence your actions, will just make you miserable. That is a truism that is hard to accept, but the older you get the easier it is to follow, in our experience.

 

Labels are for people who get hung up on them. Personally, I agree whole heartedly with Boris n Natasha's post. If you are going to be worried what everyone else thinks, then whats the point? Why even swing? It's not like it is universally acceptable.

 

The late Sam Kinison used to tell the joke that every American male, somewhere deep in their psyche was a bi/homosexual fantasy, and he wanted it out.

 

The stigma of Bi sexual contact between guys, came from the late 70's early 80's when the whole AIDS epidemic started, panic spread, and what was already on the fringes was pushed all the way out of bounds. Everyone became afraid that if they played with a bi guy that they would catch something. A large part of that still exists today.

 

I really didn't want to get on a soapbox here, but, a profile I saw recently brought it all the way home and made me think. They put on their profile that they only played bareback , and their reasoning is, if you are going to do oral without dental dams and condoms, then what's the point in bothering to cover up for intercourse... you have already exchanged body fluids (precum, and the ever tasty pussy juice). Let's face a fact that most aren't willing to confront - even if a woman or for that matter a guy, given the thread topic, blows a guy, and makes him cum, even if they spit, instead of swallow, they are still receiving the fluids.

 

Sexuality is what it is, labels are for people that need to hide behind them. If placed in the right erotic situation, I freely admit, I don't know what would happen.

 

The only label I have ever placed on myself and the one my wife agrees with as well is we are TRY sexual... who knows what we might in an unguarded moment give a TRY. So long as it's not hurting anyone, who cares.

[DecaturAreaCpl 15]

I cannot for the life of me understand why this topic gets so much attention. Are men really that afraid that giving/getting a blowjob in the during group sex (or any other time) will make them wake up the next day and want to get married to the guy next door? It's ok to screw somebody else's wife, and ok for another guy to screw your wife, because "it's only sex". Well..?

[MikeandDawn 59]

I've never really considered myself "bi-sexual", even though I've participated in activities which could commonly be associated with bi- or homosexuality. I really never could stomach the thought of me and another guy having a sexual relationship alone, by ourselves, but when I've been with Dawn and our male partners, I've almost always gone down on her while the other M was inside her. As a result, I've frequently licked the shaft and head of the other M's penis, licked and played with his balls, have re-inserted him after he's popped out of her, sometimes giving him a few strokes before putting it back in, and have licked my fair share of semen from Dawn. I've also been snowballed by Dawn many times after she's given the other guy head and watched her snowball a couple of our M partners with my sperm. I've helped Dawn wash our M partners in the shower and have been washed by Dawn and our partners. And at Dawn's urging, a couple of us have engaged in mutual fellatio several times while Dawn watched and masturbated. The way I "rationalize" it (for lack of a better word) is I'm not trying to get the other guy off, we're just helping Dawn to get off. But beyond that, I've had no interest in the other males' bodies. Dawn likes to lick and bite nipples, I won't go there. I love having it done by Dawn, but I won't do it to a male. I also leave all the anal play to Dawn when she feels like it, I won't go there either.

[friskyous 17]

Lots of grey area to be sure. In my preadolescence I occasionally engaged in guy guy (boy boy?) contact to include exchanging of oral favors (you do it awhile and I'll do it for awhile) and I've often wondered how commonplace that actually is. How many guys have explored that same area but would sooner die than admit it?

 

Sex is sex in my opinion... exploring is exploring... and if it feels good... well just go with the flow. if you've never tried it, how do you know you don't like it?

 

As a teenager I was actually forced to have sex with this older guy from school. I just thought it was cool to be hanging with him... we went for a ride and parked in a secluded spot and he got me high... my first real buzz so I was pretty out of it when he made his move. I was afraid and tried to resist but basically gave in to fear and submitted. I gave him head and he returned the favor so in essence, my first official blow job was from a guy. Was I traumatized? no... was it awful? no... in fact when he blew me, it felt damn good.

 

So am I gay?... nooooo, I loooove women... am I bi? I don't think so but I suppose that goes to perception. Would I give a guy head or lick and suck his privates if the situation were right? Yeah, probably (if he just pulled it out of my wife... oooh yeah). Would I kiss him? no... you figure it out... I'm not much for labels.

[tittietwister 126]

I've almost always gone down on her while the other M was inside her. As a result, I've frequently licked the shaft and head of the other M's penis, licked and played with his balls, have re-inserted him after he's popped out of her, sometimes giving him a few strokes before putting it back in, and have licked my fair share of semen from Dawn. I've also been snowballed by Dawn many times after she's given the other guy head and watched her snowball a couple of our M partners with my sperm.

 

I consider that my ultimate fantasy but the last time I shared it with a couple the man terminated the relationship. I wasn't suggesting that they do it with us - just sharing fantasies, many of which will remain fantasies forever. Now I have learned to censor my discussion of fantasies - except with the great people on this board!

[realcplub2 513]

I consider that my ultimate fantasy but the last time I shared it with a couple the man terminated the relationship. I wasn't suggesting that they do it with us - just sharing fantasies, many of which will remain fantasies forever. Now I have learned to censor my discussion of fantasies - except with the great people on this board!

 

He terminated the relationship because he thought you were "cruising" him.

 

As far as censoring your fantasies, for fear of what they are gonna think, I my honest opinion, I would rather hear that up front.

 

Knowing and not knowing.

 

Which is better, if you are headed toward an intimate moments?

[MikeandDawn 59]

I consider that my ultimate fantasy but the last time I shared it with a couple the man terminated the relationship. I wasn't suggesting that they do it with us - just sharing fantasies, many of which will remain fantasies forever. Now I have learned to censor my discussion of fantasies - except with the great people on this board!

 

Perhaps you need to bring it up like I do. I don't discuss it before hand, but the first time we are with a new M partner, while he's inside Dawn, I'll ask them if they want me to go down on her. Of course, she ALWAYS says yes, and the other guy agrees just to go with the flow and keep the motion going. Once I'm down there, I've yet to have any of them complain. The couple of ones who have gone down on Dawn while I'm inside her didn't seem to have any problems with their tongues touching me. Both did so without even asking, which was fine with us. Our last long term partner (one of the two with whom I've 69'ed with in front of Dawn) actually sucked me for a few seconds after I popped out of her, before putting it back in. It drove Dawn crazy wild! But I've never been able to cum with a guy sucking me. I don't think it's a issue about guys, because as well as Dawn sucks, I rarely cum with her sucking me, either. I usually have to masturbate into her mouth. But our last partner let loose in my mouth one of the last times we were together, and I snowballed Dawn, giving her the entire load. It didn't taste too bad, I just didn't want to swallow it.

[Chicup 41]

I cannot for the life of me understand why this topic gets so much attention. Are men really that afraid that giving/getting a blowjob in the during group sex (or any other time) will make them wake up the next day and want to get married to the guy next door? It's ok to screw somebody else's wife, and ok for another guy to screw your wife, because "it's only sex". Well..?

 

You know it's posts like this which get the whole male bisexuality threads to go down hill.

 

Let me explain this to you as a straight male. It's got nothing to do with fear, it's that we don't WANT a guy to give us a BJ nor do we want to blow a guy. Imagine a 95 year old woman with rotted teeth, bad breath and open herpes sores. That's about how attractive another man is to me for sex. It's how I'm wired, period. It's not homophobia, I'm not afraid of turning gay, I'm not repressing anything, it just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Sex is chemical and mental. Whatever chemicals and brain wiring that makes some men enjoy or at least not mind other men having oral sex with them is not present in me.

 

Perhaps you need to bring it up like I do. I don't discuss it before hand, but the first time we are with a new M partner, while he's inside Dawn, I'll ask them if they want me to go down on her. Of course, she ALWAYS says yes, and the other guy agrees just to go with the flow and keep the motion going.

 

Nothing like trying to trick a guy into a bisexual activity. I'd have said no.

[funcpl4life 51]

You know it's posts like this which get the whole male bisexually threads to go down hill.

 

Let me explain this to you as a straight male. It's got nothing to do with fear, it's that we don't WANT a guy to give us a BJ nor do we want to blow a guy. *snip ewww*

 

Bi people cannot really expect other people to respect how they are until they respect other people's preferences.

 

I'm not a fan of homophobia or "you're only not bi because you haven't tried".

 

I am what I am and that all that I am.

[tribbles 490]

I think I'd have to ask...are there males who are afraid?

 

Sure, some of you are truly not wired to accept anything from another guy but are there others who could but won't due to fear?

 

I know, I've met straight females who consider the idea of being penetrated by a male and having their clit licked by another female something to try even though they have no attraction to other females.

 

Others totally shy away from any touch at all.

 

Are some just totally straight, while others are fearful?

[MikeandDawn 59]

 

Nothing like trying to trick a guy into a bisexual activity. I'd have said no.

 

I'd like to know how you think this is trying to "trick" someone. I do ask. It's just not a topic that is discussed before hand. As you said, you would say no, and that should be respected. But no one we've been with has ever said no. So just how were they "tricked"?

[WesternSwing 504]

So, I've been reading around on this site, adding my two cents very rarely because it always seems what I would say has already been said (gosh you guys are good!). But, now I have a true "wondering". I usually only see the women on SLS and other "friend finder" sites listed as bi, bi-curious, bi-comfortable, etc. I've only seen a few men. In the world of swinging, does the bi-sexuality rest on the female? Is that the connection between most couples? I ask this in all earnestness (and ignorance). I am what I would call bi-curious. Recently, however, I heard an interview on NPR with Micheal Stipes of R.E.M. He brought up an interesting thought when asked about his sexual orientation. He said he saw sexuality as a continuum and that all of us moved around on that continuum...the point being that none of us are really "straight" "bi" or "gay/lesbian". It was an interesting, gentle, intellectual attack on labeling human sexuality. I find that hot. I find the idea of sexuality to be fluid, but so many men seem absolutely closed to the idea of any cross-over activity between males. Am I missing something? Or is there a taboo against this in the swinging world? Just wondering. Maybe I should make this a poll.

 

Mrs. Oly

Yes, there is a taboo against male bisexuality in swinging just like in general society. The topic of male bisexuality starts arguments here and gets more "warnings" issued by moderators than virtually any other topic. Even amongst "open-minded" swingers it seems that female bisexuality is cool, even almost expected, but male bisexuality is gross and many still won't contact a couple where the husband is listed as "bisexual" or "bi-curious". We know some couples in which the male is bisexual and they all say that they list him as "straight" on their profile and then play it by ear if another couple they meet has a bisexual male in it. Bisexual play is not a prerequisite for play with them and he will in no way make an unwanted advance toward another man. In fact in our experience, bisexual men seem to be more respectful of straight men's boundaries than many bisexual women are with straight women's boundaries.

 

That said, I personally am not bisexual, but I have to admit that on occasion there has been a certain guy that in a certain situation that if all the stars and planets lined-up correctly I could possibly have dabbled in it. So IF I had to label myself it would be "simply sexual". Mrs. WS labels herself as such since she is bi, but her strike zone with women is much narrower than it is with men.

[Vjklander 138]

I think the disease excuse is just a cop-out. We are nudists, so naked people of any persuasion doesn't make any difference. I'm not against M-M play, I just don't find it arousing to me. Just like I'm not aroused by all F, F-F, M-F etc. When playing MFMF or MFM etc, incidental contact is no harm, no foul.

 

as a straight man, I think it is a big double standard. Why is it ok for two woman but not ok for two men. I don't care who does what to whom if that is your deal. I think that part of the problem is people are scared of diseases. We know several couples that have told us that they are worried about STD's with bi men. But to be in the lifestyle you have to be a rather open sexually. Not saying I want to sword fight, but a naked man touching me by mistake or a dude walking around naked sure don't bother me.

[NotSorry 155]

As far as the theory of everybody being a little bit bi goes, I think that is total BS. I for one, and most every male I know, have absolutely zero sexual desires for other males.

 

 

I am not about to presume that I can speak for anyone else about their sexuality but I kind of feel like this is a social construct. In the absence of societal messages, strict categorization and the stigmas (or benefits) associated with categorizing oneself I believe that sexuality would be a lot more muddled.

 

As you said, women are more encouraged to experiment with bisexuality as it is not only more accepted but it is often a turn-on for the men in their lives. Men are stigmatized for the mere thought. A man with slight interest could very easily teach himself to turn that part of his sexuality off and it would be beneficial for him to do so because the cons of identifying as bi would outweigh the benefit for him.

 

I think at the start we all tend to be curious but only some of us are encouraged to explore that curiosity.

 

Make sense?

[Stephen43011 15]

This is the guy half throwing out my thoughts. I list myself on our profile sites as straight. We have played with couples that both were bi and we had a great time. I guess I have found that in the heat of things you tend to open up more and have fun without thinking taboo when it comes to male and male.

 

I guess I can be considered bi-curious but far from gay. When couples or more get into a group play it's nice not to have to worry about guys touching each other, just go with the flow and enjoy. Females do look a lot hotter together than guys but it's all how you want to make it. Be safe.

[GerdOEvert 51]

Three or four points.

 

It has been accepted and agreed in the psychiatric community that all humans are bisexual more or less.

 

It has been a crime for centuries, until recently, for men to act on their homosexual urges, but not for women to do so. Go check the laws of England, from whence our laws spring.

 

Women are more attractive physically and when they stimulate each other than are men, so are more readily accepted. Breasts and pussy are hot when stimulated.

 

Additionally, since women do not get pregnant for female to female contact but shill have orgasm/climax, it has some advantages.

 

In my experience, in the swinging scene, when bisexual men experiment with each other it is in the closed rooms without an audience. Women are in open rooms and regarded as "hot" when they engage in bisexual play.

 

I had a homosexual relationship at age 12 - 13. It was a major impact in my life, and my society was embarrassed and non accepting. It took me a long time to work through that. Five years in Analysis. If you had detailed records of 11 - 16 year old boys, I think you would be surprised at the level of homosexual experiences. [Kinsey maybe?]

 

Today I accept my bisexuality and don't worry about it.

[Chicup 41]

Three or four points.

 

It has been accepted and agreed in the psychiatric community that all humans are bisexual more or less.

 

 

The same community that thought very recently that homosexuality was curable, that humans have no instincts, and that the best way to deal with hermaphrodite children was force them into a sex role because sex roles are only cultural

 

Really I can think of no branch of medicine which has failed us more than psychology/psychiatry.

 

I had a homosexual relationship at age 12 - 13. It was a major impact in my life, and my society was embarrassed and non accepting. It took me a long time to work through that. Five years in Analysis. If you had detailed records of 11 - 16 year old boys, I think you would be surprised at the level of homosexual experiences. [Kinsey maybe?]

 

Kinsey has been discredited as a reliable source of information due to the how the information was gathered. Personally I never had the slightest desire to have any sort of homosexual relationship at any point in my childhood, though I could have been forced into one I'm sure if I came into contact with an abuser. Odds are you had a homosexual experience and are more aware of them because you are bi. Talking to my homosexual friends, almost all had homosexual encounters as teens, even before they thought of themselves as homosexual, while I don't know of any straight males who did the same. Maybe they are all just hiding it, and I can only speak for myself.

[NakedInSeattle 159]

Just sexual - there's nothing plain about it. We're all different and sexuality takes on different colors, textures, and yes - flavors. For us, we're glad that the world is opening up for all of us. Here in Seattle, there's a place (I'll share the name in private) where all types of sexual turn-ons are accepted, and enjoyed with no judgement.

 

It's great that there's places like this board where people can share, mentor, and be mentored. Life is too short to not try it all and enjoy our friends and life-mates to the fullest.

[GerdOEvert 51]

Taking issue with two statements by the poster two above.

 

1. Kinsey has not been discredited, the research has just advanced. There is a major research institute on human sexuality at Indiana University Bloomington Campus. They are a large research effort, and continue to expand Kinsey's Efforts of the 30's and 40's. The whole process of scientific research is to update findings.

 

2. Freud is still a giant of Psychiatry. I know less about psychology, which seems to me to be a more practical and data driven field. both have their contributions to make to people and society.

 

It really bothers me when someone in two paragraphs dismisses Kinsey and psychiatry without so much as a citation or explanation. Has the poster ever examined work from the Kinsey Institute, or dealt with Psychiatrists in any extended and meaningful way? Or is it just a "blind" opinion.

[Chicup 41]

Taking issue with two statements by the poster two above.

 

1. Kinsey has not been discredited, the research has just advanced. There is a major research institute on human sexuality at Indiana University Bloomington Campus. They are a large research effort, and continue to expand Kinsey's Efforts of the 30's and 40's. The whole process of scientific research is to update findings.

 

2. Freud is still a giant of Psychiatry. I know less about psychology, which seems to me to be a more practical and data driven field. both have their contributions to make to people and society.

 

It really bothers me when someone in two paragraphs dismisses Kinsey and psychiatry without so much as a citation or explanation. Has the poster ever examined work from the Kinsey Institute, or dealt with Psychiatrists in any extended and meaningful way? Or is it just a "blind" opinion.

 

I'm a doctor with a strong interest in the evolution of human sexuality. Once in a while I've tried to get scientific on this forum, but most people lack the background to do so here so I just point out based on what I know. You didn't exactly post a scientific article yourself. You posted your beliefs and then expect me to give you a dissertation to prove you incorrect? Is there something about your opinion that makes it stronger than mine and requires no citations?

 

Freud is still a giant of Psychiatry.

 

His name is well known to the average person on the street, his theories are the foundation for modern psychiatry, but they are also very flawed. They are the foundations as they gave a starting point to look at the problem scientifically, but god help anyone going to a psychiatrist who uses any of Freud's theories.

 

Out of curiosity, is your bisexual nature caused by having an absent father or controlling mother? Complete BS but that's classical Freudian psychology.

[GerdOEvert 51]

Doctor:

 

I thought my first comment was on point, and to the point. I found the response dismissive and just a little better than name calling.

 

As a matter of fact, Yes to both your questions.

 

I was born illegitimately in Germany after WWII, and I would describe my mother is a controlling bi-polar. I was adopted some years later in the U. S.

 

I found five years of analysis quite enlightening and helpful.

 

Of course, the work done in the end of the 19th century will have flaws and need updating and revision. The flaws have been discussed, and there have been revisions.

 

Frankly, I was quite surprised myself to learn that the Kinsey Institute was and is alive and well at the Indiana University.

 

I thought the comment that Freud and Psychiatry and Psychology had been discredited was too strong a statement. I also thought that Kinsey was "Out of date" was in the same league.

 

I do have an addition in my experiences in the lifestyle. In the groups we were active in, in an Eastern Metro City, there were many cliques, any male bisexual activity was behind closed doors in closed rooms, Also, by and large the groups were lower middle class with a large number of bisexual women.

 

I also found a fair amount of Alpha Male behavior. All those things made it less attractive than it might me. I wondered what a systemic study of the lifestyle membership would yield from both the Kinsey and the Psychiatric Perspective, and wondered how much that had been studied.

[Guest pacouple4u]

Wow, my girl friend and I have tried the FMF playtime. She has a very high sex drive and I had another female friend whom I was doing just touching and kissing at times who said she was bi. So I got the three of us together and the magic happened, although it did take a little nudge from me to my girlfriend to go down on the other girl. Once she got there she was hooked.

 

We both have a high sex drive so we are always looking to add to our sex life, we have openly talked about me trying the bi side of male sex. I think I am ready. Yesterday we were blessed with another couple we are taking a class with. They came to the house and after the normal ice breaker game of strip poker we moved to the living room and enjoyed some swinger sex. The girls both did their share on each other. My mind was working overtime, should I reach over and touch his cock while my girl friend was sucking??? I was so close, I did reach and caress her tits which put me very close to his cock. The four of us discusses the side of male touching and if we were ready for it. He said he was not that open-minded yet, but I brought up the point that during a group fling the males will be touching each other at some point, just not openly sexually, meaning not grabbing each others penises.

 

Please give us your ideas on this.

[tojoe59 17]

I found that if you post on your profile you are Bi, and I am a man, you very few hits. But after I chat with someone and then bring up I am ok with being open to a guy, the girls in most cases love the guy on guy action. I love that we then can all be open to a free flow of bodies on body. It is tough to say up front "I like to suck dick". I think it is easier to let yourself go and enjoy the moment .

[biplayfulcouple 20]

Long time married, totally straight man here with a bisexual wife. We have been in the LS for several years now. We play with couples only and our rules are; "same room, soft swing". I just had my very first bi-male oral experience, while we were playing with another m/f couple. To all you straight swinger husbands out there: this is incredible. I don't know where it came from, but this was totally unreal. Well it was suggested/promoted by the wives, but it turned us, and both of the wives, on like crazy. I never thought I'd ever do it, much less write about it. I've always been pretty well disgusted by MM contact in gay/bisexual porn. WOW what a change. My wife and I have had sex every day since then. She even SQUIRTED three times last night just talking about it while we were having sex (she's typically not a squirter).

 

If this is "taking one for the team" for the satisfaction of my wife, then it's not that bad; it's great!

[Thrax 384]

Long time married, totally straight man here with a bisexual wife. We have been in the LS for several years now. We play with couples only and our rules are; "same room, soft swing". I just had my very first bi-male oral experience, while we were playing with another m/f couple. To all you straight swinger husbands out there: this is incredible. I don't know where it came from, but this was totally unreal. Well it was suggested/promoted by the wives, but it turned us, and both of the wives, on like crazy. I never thought I'd ever do it, much less write about it. I've always been pretty well disgusted by MM contact in gay/bisexual porn. WOW what a change. My wife and I have had sex every day since then. She even SQUIRTED three times last night just talking about it while we were having sex (she's typically not a squirter).

 

If this is "taking one for the team" for the satisfaction of my wife, then it's not that bad; it's great!

If bi-male activity turns you on, then that's great. Enjoy it. But please at least be consistent with regard to the terminology you use in your posts and your profile.

 

In your very first post on the Board you describe yourself as totally straight. Fine. But in SB Additional Information/Biography you state: "we are both bi"

 

Your handle here is biplayfulcouple.

 

Hellll-OOOOooo! There are some things that do not agree here.

 

Frankly, if you are bi, your wife is bi, or both of you are bi...most of the people on this forum DON'T care!

 

Really!

 

The majority of the longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on Swingers Board really don't give a shit about your sexuality, they just try to provide you with the best information to address your concerns about the lifestyle. And if those of us on this forum don't know that much about an ancillary swing-subset, then we give our best guess. That's it.

 

So, please participate here, biplayfulcouple, but I think serious posters would appreciate you being honest with how you describe yourself, or yourselves, as it were.

 

P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...

[biplayfulcouple 20]

If bi-male activity turns you on, then that's great. Enjoy it. But please at least be consistent with regard to the terminology you use in your posts and your profile.

 

In your very first post on the Board you describe yourself as totally straight. Fine. But in SB Additional Information/Biography you state: "we are both bi"

 

Your handle here is biplayfulcouple.

 

Hellll-OOOOooo! There are some things that do not agree here.

 

Frankly, if you are bi, your wife is bi, or both of you are bi...most of the people on this forum DON'T care!

 

Really!

 

The majority of the longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on Swingers Board really don't give a shit about your sexuality, they just try to provide you with the best information to address your concerns about the lifestyle. And if those of us on this forum don't know that much about an ancillary swing-subset, then we give our best guess. That's it.

 

So, please participate here, biplayfulcouple, but I think serious posters would appreciate you being honest with how you describe yourself, or yourselves, as it were.

 

Thrax

P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...

 

Excuse me...I stand corrected in my attempt to try to explain and share this new life experience (we are a long time married couple). Based upon my past experience (all straight) this is a phenomenon, to me. Other than your post, I really value this forum as a place to learn, share, and try to get some understanding of our situation. Ok, so if you didn't like what I said, then I'm "newly bi", or "formerly totally straight". How's that label suit you? is that good enough? This is not my first rodeo on the Swingers Board. I am very active on this board, under a different screen name. I am one of those "longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on the Swingers Board that really really doesn't give a shit about your sexuality. I chose a new screen name to post under so that I might have some anonymity. I already knew that it wasn't very kewl for a man to be "bi" in the lifestyle. Now I know that it's not kewl to be bi on this forum.

[TNT 1,155]

now I know that it's not kewl to be bi on this forum.

 

It's perfectly kewl to be bi on this forum ...after all, we do have a Bisexuality and Swinging forum and it encompasses male bisexuality as well as female bisexuality.

 

Thrax did apologize for his tone at the end of his post.

 

P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...

 

When we're tired and cranky things can set us off that normally wouldn't. Since you said you've been in swinging for several years you are well aware of the stigma of male bisexuality...now that you have discovered it's something that you enjoy, you'll need to grow a thick skin and not let certain comments get to you.

 

When I read your first post, I too noticed the inconsistency but...I read it thinking okay, you were totally straight up until your recent encounter and now, you find MM contact enjoyable...cool!

 

As often happens here, two people can read the exact same words yet, they read the meaning of them differently...in cases where you're not exactly sure if it might have been a typo or what exactly the original poster meant, I find it's best to ask for clarification before going off on a rant.

 

So, congratulations on this newfound side of yourself, have fun with it!

[Chicup 41]

now I know that it's not kewl to be bi on this forum.

 

Actually it's totally cool to be whatever you are on this forum. Except for that guy who kept talking about sex with dogs, it wasn't totally cool to be a zoophile, but even then the thread was not closed.

 

Yes there is plenty of stigma with being a bi-male in the lifestyle in general, but since this is a discussion forum, and a mostly anonymous one, it really doesn't matter.

[GoNatural 104]

I admit that I'm bisexual now. I think the term would be best used to only describe sexual desires for a gender, and not be thought of as including deeper intimacy, though it can.

 

For about 12 years I explored with men, and for the first 8 years I did not want to call myself bisexual. I'm still not wide open about it. Only special people know.

[Guest thewriter]

To me same sex play is just another form of sexual pleasure. We are swingers to enjoy sex watching or spouse having sex well what is different in watching your man your man sucking off another man. It is all sex for the fun and pleasure of sex.

[gsu22 187]

My label: bisexual. Love both genders (women a little more). I go in phases...some times I get so damn horny for cock...jerking, sucking & fucking them. Other times all I want is hot pussy.

[confused12524 201]

I am going to say a majority of men who are swingers are not "bi-opposed". Whatever label is up to them.

 

Playing for years as a bi couple, we had "no straight men" in our profile. It was very rare to find a male who was 100% straight regardless of what their profile said.

[New2swinging225 53]

Even reading a lot of the thoughts from 'open minded' swingers regarding male bisexuality I get a sense that there is still a discomfort toward the topic, and therefore some prejudice against it. As the male portion of a fairly young swinging couple I have been amazed to see how many bisexual or bi-curious or bi-situational guys there are out there. Furthermore I am less surprised to see first hand how many woman are 'truly' bisexual ( and I am not viewing this from my wife's perspective as she would be more so bi-situational ). In the last few years we have fallen into a group where bisexuality in general is the norm, and there are a lot of people who are comfortable within this swingers platform. The amount of people who are finally able to accept, appreciate and even partake in same sex play amongst the friends that we have made in recent years has astounded me. I don't know if age and idealism have anything to do with some of the comments earlier on this thread, but bisexuality is alive and well. I don't consider myself bisexual, but as far as being open-minded goes, if I were in the middle of some group sex and looked down to find another man sucking my cock I wouldn't freak out.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I have no problem at all with somebody, male or female, being bi-sexual. I do find problematic the many declarations that people are bisexual and just don't know it or do not want to admit to it. If I had a dime for every time I have read it in these forums, I would be wealthy.