Men: Are you Bi-curious, Bi-sexual, or just plain sexual?

[C@YWMI 15]

What I found most interesting on this topic, is all of the new posts on male bisexuality, My wife and I have been attached to the site for just over ten years. When we first begin reading this forum the hot topic was female bisexuality and there was a lot of topics on that and the pressures of that on women that was not interested. Even though bi sex between women is still popular it doesn't take center stage like it used to. So I guess what I'm saying or should say asking Is bi sex for men a fad or something we as a group need to be more accepting to even though you are or are not a bi male.

[confused12524 201]

I don't think people are "bi and don't know it"

 

I do believe sexuality is a lot more fluid than the couple labels you can choose.

 

I also believe from experience that there are more people who will engage in some light same sex play than won't.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . .I do believe sexuality is a lot more fluid than the couple labels you can choose. . .

This I also believe.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I don't think people are "bi and don't know it"

 

 

That first belief is one I not only share but try, often unavailingly, to transmit to those who are either wholly straight or wholly gay. I am beginning to think that unless you're actually bi, rather than fluid in the moment or intrinsically stuck at one of the poles of sexual expression, you are never going to understand what bisexuality is for those of us who are bisexual. It's not something you can not know.

[confused12524 201]

I think the disagreement comes up when numbers are discussed.

 

Many believe the majority of people are 100% straight and that anything deviating from that represents a small minority. I used to think that myself.

 

For a number of years now, I am convinced that 100% straight and 100% gay people are the small percentage minority. Probably equally.

 

The majority represent somewhere in between.

 

Playing as a couple who played with single guys...I know that profile tags mean nothing. Almost every single guy we played with lists as straight.

 

I can think of only a small handful of times that we contacted or a single male contacted us and bi play was a deal killer. Pretty much every male within our travel distance has contacted us at one time or another and bi play required was right in our profile. Once in a while someone would say "sorry I'm straight" but extremely rare.

 

I used to laugh how many messages we would get from profiles that say NO MEN!!! I'M STRAIGHT! !!

The email would usually start...."hi, I'm mike. Bi bottom, love to suck....."

 

Or couples that say NO BI MEN. In their profile, meanwhile the guy is contacting us for bi couple play or me for bi one on one.

 

All of that experience over the years just made me question everything that I always thought I knew.

[Chicup 42]

I don't think people are "bi and don't know it"

 

I knew my wife was bi long before she admitted to herself she was bi. She didn't grow up in a sexually repressive household or anything, but in her mind being gay was just "bad" and icky. I think while no one is completely unknowing of their own sexuality, I think some are willing to deny that part of themselves.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I have no problem at all with somebody, male or female, being bi-sexual. I do find problematic the many declarations that people are bisexual and just don't know it or do not want to admit to it. If I had a dime for every time I have read it in these forums, I would be wealthy.

 

Ditto!

 

I don't know how many people say they are straight and are really bi, I have not had anyone we have been with pull the surprise bi card yet. Or maybe I am being naive when they say "I'm not into Bi play" and I respond neither am I. Maybe they are fishing but it seems a ridiculous way to fish in my mind. Our profile says I am straight and so does theirs, then they reinforce that with a statement as do I. What are they hoping for? DO they expect that even though both our profile say straight and he just said he is straight that I am going to say actually I am Bi? Seriously? Seems like that is a very inefficient way to find other bi guys.

 

On the other hand I get it. My wife is curious, but she is even more picky about the women than the men. For a brief period she put bi-curious on the profile. Then end result were too many of couples that seemed offended if she was interested in the husband but not the wife. We stopped putting curious on the sites, if she is interested she will let them know. So in a sense that is no different I guess. My thought is she should put it on the site, if they get offended then they were not the right couple for us to begin with. After all, just because we are swingers does not mean we want to fuck everyone that comes along, why should Bi be any different.

[confused12524 201]

I've asked this question a million times. "Why do you have straight in your profile?"

Everyone answers that "many couples wouldn't want me"

 

I used to get mad at that thinking they are lying.

 

But I understand it. I always listed as bi in our profiles but that was because we did very little outbound mailing.

 

For me, bi play is just another option. I see a lot of profiles that say "NO BI MEN" and I'm sure there are a huge number of couples that would pass simply because of the profile tag.

 

I don't have to play bi. I don't always want to. I can be naked around another guy and not be compelled to play with him. If I didn't tell you I was bi, you wouldn't guess it.

 

It's much easier for a bi guy to list as straight and then individually contact bi couples and explain. Instead of automatically being excluded right off the bat because some couples think he will be running around trying to poke the man.

 

I can understand couples stating they only want straight play. Every bi guy I have met would be perfectly fine with that. Even as a bi couple any guy guy play was mild and 10% of what we did. But by not specifying the type of play and instead excluding someone because of something they could do if asked, makes me agree with their way.

 

I'm a salesman. I can also drive a tractor trailer. If I apply to a sales position, I usually don't mention that I can drive a truck. It's irrelevant.

And if for some silly reason a lot of sales ads said "no truck drivers" I would leave that off my resume...lol

 

But if I found a sales ad that said, we prefer a salesman that could make a delivery once in a while...well then I can say...oh yeah...y the way...I also have a CDL license.

[MrsPandMe 150]

I think excluding a couple from consideration simply because the man is listed as anything other then straight is short sighted, but then again I see a lot of things in this lifestyle that make me shake my head. We have played with PLENTY of couples and groups with bi men and I have NEVER run into a situation where the male would attempt to initiate any sort of MM contact without first asking about it. Any couple with a bi-male that was looking for MM interaction as a criteria that I've seen has specifically spelled out that expectation in their profiles. As I am listed as straight, I have never even been ASKED by a bi or bi-curious man if I would be okay with MM interaction.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

We list M. as bi-curious on our profile. If there was an option for hetero-flexible or bi-comfortable, we'd use one of those instead, because he's no longer curious, isn't actually bi and doesn't feel like claiming straight as a label. Once he fulfilled his fantasy of sucking a cock, he lost what little interest he'd had in m/m play, but he's still willing to lend a hand or something during group play, mostly because it turns me on but also because he's just helpful that way. We get emails from couples where something like that is true for the male half as well and I could see, given the three choices of straight, curious and bi, why he'd list himself as straight.

 

I don't remember any of those profiles having a no men statement, though.

[OLDER BIGUY 21]

I find that many bi guys are only looking for more sex partners. For years i fought the idea of m/m play as ok. After having a g/f who got me turned on with oral play i wanted to see what it was like to suck a dick and now love it prefer women 80% of time but can go both ways.