Is girl on girl sex actually a full swap?

[Ditto 15]

Okay, another member brought this up in another thread....

 

I hate to say this folks but I guess I am rather confused here. I always thought that the defination of "Full Swap" mean't that each couple swapped partners, U know... husband/wife and wife/husband.

 

Now I have been told yet another meaning of this.... Girl/Girl or Bi Activitie, can be considered a "Full Swap" too....

 

So.... what is your defination of 2 girls getting it on while their husbands watch?

 

Thanks

Ann

[naughty A 23]

Originally posted by Ditto

Now I have been told yet another meaning of this.... Girl/Girl or Bi Activitie, can be considered a "Full Swap" too....

 

So.... what is your defination of 2 girls getting it on while their husbands watch?

 

 

I never heard that before... and I don't think of it as full swap either... but more... of a soft swing activity... JMO.

 

and often one that people who don't feel ready for full swap DO want to try...

 

I just think of it as Girl/Girl play with spouses present... I think it is kinda fun too... give you the opportunity to play without leaving your partner completely out of it.

[OhioCouple 40]

My opinion is that if you have sex with anyone outside of your significant other, in the presence of them, you have done an exchange of partners. After all, you haven't adhered to being SOLEY with your own partner. Therefore you have swapped. The differences being two men have traded two women to be engaged in sexual contact with someone other than themselves.

 

But let's turn the tables here a tad. What if the guys engaged in one on one sexual contact, while the women watched? What would you consider that as? Would it still be soft swap to you?

[Ditto 15]

Hi OhioCouple,

 

My opinion is that if you have sex with anyone outside of your significant other, in the presence of them, you have done an exchange of partners. After all, you haven't adhered to being SOLEY with your own partner. Therefore you have swapped. The differences being two men have traded two women to be engaged in sexual contact with someone other than themselves.

 

Okay, I see your point then, but....if girl/girl activity is considered "swapping" as you call it, what definition would you call this activity? Soft swing or a full swap? I was under the impression that full swap/swing mean't that you would have sex/intercourse with the spouse of the opposite sex!

 

 

But let's turn the tables here a tad. What if the guys engaged in one on one sexual contact, while the women watched? What would you consider that as? Would it still be soft swap to you?

 

I see... Soft Swap....

 

 

WHOA...... there are several different terms going on here....

 

Soft Swing -----

Do these 2 mean the same then?

Soft Swap ------

 

Full Swing ------

And do these 2 mean the same thing?

Full Swap ------

 

 

Thanks,

Ann - Who is starting to see the light!!

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by Ditto

Okay, I see your point then, but....if girl/girl activity is considered "swapping" as you call it, what definition would you call this activity? Soft swing or a full swap? I was under the impression that full swap/swing mean't that you would have sex/intercourse with the spouse of the opposite sex!

Actually, Ann, there are as many different meanings for soft swap, full swap, voyerism, bi-sexual... you name it. It is basically defined by what the mutual parties agree upon. (From what I've grown to know)

 

It is most definitely very confusing. That said...

 

The most basic thing that I see from your situation (based on this thread and the other) is that ya'll surpassed your original boundries and therefore it made seem like it was perhaps okay to test for more. I feel it is a lack of communication between the four of you, more so than someone breaking the rules.

 

Quick story. (yeah right )

 

We recently returned to swinging after a break from a bad experience (nothing like what you are experiencing, a real bad one to be honest) and we returned with some hard set rules and boundries. We met with a couple that we felt comfortable with and dangit if we didn't break darn near every rule that we had pre-set. I had some problems with that, however, what we did was talk with the other couple about it...as they had broken some of their's too.

 

By communicating with them directly after the fact, we all felt better about it. So we sorta revised our rules (with them) and then the next time we met, we went out of the pre-set boundries...AGAIN. Which really freaked me. But again, we all talked about it, directly after the fact.

 

I still consider us very new, even though we have been involved for the last two years in swinging, but I think we have found that communication between all parties is essential.

 

We will be meeting with this same couple in the near future, and given the history, we may unintentionally break more rules...but then given the history, as long as we all talk about it, we will be just fine.

 

This is why I think Communication is more important than "No means No!".

[naughty A 23]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

My opinion is that if you have sex with anyone outside of your significant other, in the presence of them, you have done an exchange of partners. After all, you haven't adhered to being SOLEY with your own partner. Therefore you have swapped. The differences being two men have traded two women to be engaged in sexual contact with someone other than themselves.

 

But let's turn the tables here a tad. What if the guys engaged in one on one sexual contact, while the women watched? What would you consider that as? Would it still be soft swap to you?

 

I guess I see it differently... since only HALF of the couple (s) swapped....

 

MY perception is that ... BOTH halves (or all parties) participate for it to be a FULL swap whether it is FF or MM or MF MF.

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by naughty A

I guess I see it differently... since only HALF of the couple (s) swapped....

That is why this soft swap thing means different things to different people and it is always wise to ask, because it seems no one sees it exactly the same. However... two people "swapped", so in my eyes it was a 'swap'...I suppose tho, there could be another catagory for "Half Swappers".

 

Soft No Swapper Swingers

Half Swapper Swingers

Full Swapper Swingers

[mifligirl25 15]

i've always thought both partners had to be to ba considered a full swap if the men are only watching then i would think it's a girl/girl thing and if you had sex with your own partner after the it was just a little pre show great sex for the night that's just my opinion though...

[imsnowman 34]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

Quick story. (yeah right )

 

We recently returned to swinging after a break from a bad experience (nothing like what you are experiencing, a real bad one to be honest) and we returned with some hard set rules and boundries. We met with a couple that we felt comfortable with and dangit if we didn't break darn near every rule that we had pre-set. I had some problems with that, however, what we did was talk with the other couple about it...as they had broken some of their's too.

 

By communicating with them directly after the fact, we all felt better about it. So we sorta revised our rules (with them) and then the next time we met, we went out of the pre-set boundries...AGAIN. Which really freaked me. But again, we all talked about it, directly after the fact.

 

I'd say this story perfectly illustrates that once the little head takes control the big head is just along for the ride!!

[Alura 2,774]

Soft swing...semi-swing...full swing...

 

I reckon sometimes a name is just not enough. You have to sit down and have a discussion to make sure the other folks understand what you mean.

 

Mr. Alura

[BradAndJanet 70]

Originally posted by Alura

Soft swing...semi-swing...full swing...

 

I reckon sometimes a name is just not enough. You have to sit down and have a discussion to make sure the other folks understand what you mean.

 

Mr. Alura

Exactly what I was thinking...

 

-B

[J & K 16]

Girl-on-girl just means that to us!!!

 

Full swap means to us= mf/mf

 

Pretty simple for full swap---swapping mates at the same time.

 

That is our view only.

[bear_n_bunny 43]

Bear and I recently had a soft swap adventure with a couple we'd previously full swapped with because that was just the mood. I can tell you there was nothing soft about it. It was far more intense that any full swap we've done to date.

 

However, there was some light bi play later, and as Bear was not involved it felt like full swap. My focus was on my partner, not on my husband just as if I'd been playing with the other couples husband. So, if I am not engaged with Bear, then I'm swapped, full swapped. Hopefully that makes some sort of sense.

 

In the end, the only that matters is what is agreed upon between you and your partner, as well as, the other couple. You can call it anything you want, what matters is how you feel about it. Just as some consider bi-play without the partners knowledge cheating, and some don't. It's all about communication and mindset. Since there is no Hoyle's Rules of Swinging to refer to, it can be soft or it can be full. In my definition if it is play without Bear, it's full.

 

-- Bunny

[Alura 2,774]

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny

...there is no Hoyle's Rules of Swinging...

 

-- Bunny

 

And yet another opportunity for Julie's new publishing company!

 

Mr. Alura

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I would consider girl/girl only activity as a form of Soft-swinging, not full-swap.

 

I'm with you on your definition of full-swap (both couples swapping partners for intercourse).

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I was reading in an old thread where someone made the comment that any exchange of partners for sex (including just girl/girl sex) is not soft-swap but full swap. I guess I just never really thought of it that way... since in the end the guys aren't getting any sort of swap.

 

So what's your opinion? If the only cross-couple sex taking place is girl/girl, is that a full swap or a soft swap?

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Its not a full swap

 

Maybe, its a half swap

[good times 991]

I wouldn't consider it full swap, but then, it doesn't really matter to us as girl/girl play isn't going to happen anyway.

[iapr 24]

Absolutely not. I usually don't get into the label debates but I don't even consider people that only do fem/fem-only as real swingers let alone full swap.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

I would have to agree with everyone else..........Nope, it's not what I would consider FULL swap..........to me that's "if one plays, ALL play......." and it would also mean men with women with more than just oral play happening.....but that's my opinion.

 

Pam

[SweetandSalty1 18]

Its not a full swap

 

Maybe, its a half swap

 

I agree!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

It's not full-swap.

 

 

It's an ice-breaker.

[starryeyes 23]

It could be the start of a nice evening... but definitely not full swap!

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Hum, I was just killing time over on SLS, untill Mrs.fun is ready to leave.

 

I just noticed a couples profile where only the female of the couple will play with the male and female of the other couple.

 

Her husband will only play with his own wife.

 

If I see this straight, that has now become a 3/4 swap.

 

I mean, we are talking 2 couples here. I can see a half swap, a three quarters swap and a full swap....But, I dont think you could do a 1/4 swap without is being a soft swap.

[Malachista 170]

No - that would be an easy out

[SexyNSingle 15]

i would see it as a half swap also.

[Playful1 434]

I dont consider it full swap.

[two42lovers 273]

Just exactly how/what are they swapping? Certainly it's not "full swap" - which basically means having intercourse with each other's partners.

 

We've played with couples where the male half only watches - we think of it as a threesome with an audience.

[lustylearning 705]

Just exactly how/what are they swapping? Certainly it's not "full swap" - which basically means having intercourse with each other's partners.

 

We've played with couples where the male half only watches - we think of it as a threesome with an audience.

 

yup!

[sweet_tna 680]

I see it more as an appetizer vs. the main course.

 

=)

[Chicup 41]

So what's your opinion? If the only cross-couple sex taking place is girl/girl, is that a full swap or a soft swap?

 

Thats not even soft swap in my book.

 

Its fun to watch, but I'd rather be doing.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Imagine if a couple told you they were full swap, but when you got to the room they said that they considered girl-girl swap as full swap.

 

Yeeeeaaaaah, I don't think it would fly. Girl-girl is not full swap.

 

Pepper

[good times 991]

Imagine if a couple told you they were full swap, but when you got to the room they said that they considered girl-girl swap as full swap.

 

This brought back a memory of the time a couple said they wanted to swap, but when we got to the play room they explained that full swap to them was me having sex with his wife and he and my wife watching. We left about 14 seconds after finding this out.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I wish I had linked the thread I was reading and now I can't find it (of course). I completely agree with the idea that f/f only is definately not full swap, however in that thread several people said it was (which I thought was really odd... but then there have been many odd things said around here over the years). It's very interesting to see the difference in responses from the folks now vs 5 or 6 years ago.

[des1re06 200]

Nope, not full swap to us.

 

It's a damn good warm up though.

 

Mrs. D

[socolais 696]

On one hand, labels are very useful communication tools. Lawyers and scientist use a very exact language, used car salesmen use a very "relaxed" language - each derrive a benefit from that choice.

 

Normal folks (swingers included) fall somewhere inbetween the extreemes. We need a reasonable precision in our language for efficient communication but we don't want too many terms. Each subculture establishes its own jargon of significant terms and tunes the meaning of those terms to its needs, acting as a collective.

 

Jargon development, is a bottom-up process (get your mind out of the gutter ) New words are invented or definitions adjusted in conversations as the need arrises and get accepted by the group if the change is percieved as positive. Jargon confusion is related to the speed those language adjustments are propogated through the group and become accepted. Documents used by the group (including online forum posts) loose value by the language adjustments unless revised.

 

This forum highlights the state of jargon confusion in the swinger's domain and serves to reduce it. The many threads about what certain terms means to us individually (like this one) propogate the consensus of the group and generally reduce confusion.

 

The fundamental power of the internet is the globalization of our thoughts. I see a trend toward higher precision in "swingerese" and suspect that's also true among other sexual subculture groups. Our activity variations and levels of comfort outnumber the terms in common use.

 

On the other hand, swinging is all about intercourse [is that a cool wordplay or what?]. I think most of us are unlikely to commit to an encounter based on anatomical compatability and a few buzzwords. There's a bit of a hierarchy in the decision process about you and me getting together for some play time. I guess the first hurdle is mutual physical attraction. Rules and boundaries are important to know, but I think the most significant thing is "what are we in the mood for tonight", what are our preferences. As we flirt and communicate, I might suggest an activity that I think sounds like fun or you might suggest something I would be interested in doing with you. We'll describe our preferences as they relate to the activity as we touch and get to know each other better. We both know, either one of us can terminate the encounter with a single word or redirect the activity as we mutually prefer. The exact meaning of a few buzzwords is trivial when we concentrate on each other's smiles....

[lustylearning 705]

The exact meaning of a few buzzwords is trivial when we concentrate on each other's smiles....

 

Nicely said, Socolais.