My wife is so close to saying "yes" to swinging

[cathy&neil 15]

My wife and I have been married 8 years and she has talked (she says she was joking) about having sex with another man and even bringing him home for me to watch. I love the idea and have told her so.

 

I really want to do this. I want to watch my wife getting screwed by another man. Things are very delicate right now since they are on the "joke" phase but I want them to be a reality.

 

What should be my next course of action?

[Additude 457]

Hi and good luck to you in getting your and your wifes wishes fulfilled. Some may say, "Maybe she was just joking" and that's it. But I would think an adults responce to this situation if confronted would be saying "I didn't mean it" would be a more sincere way in closing the door. Saying, "Just Joking" leaves the doors open about 1/2 way.

 

My point is proceed with caution, if you get pushy that door is going to get slammed in your face. Mention it ocassionally (maybe every couple of weeks) just to keep the subject fresh...then if you do not get positive responces after a month or two, drop the subject all together.

 

I'm sure the cat's curiosity will wonder why the mouse doesn't speak of it any more....especially if the cat is considering fullfilling the mouses wishes....and the cat's own.

 

Then you wait, until the cat's curios fantasy overwhelms and the cat has to bring up the subject.

 

Then the mouse replies....would you like some cheese?

[Mistral Wind 54]

A difficult step if you get it wrong. Ask her while you are enjoying sex together maybe take the fantasy of a threesome with another man when she is turned on and horny as hell and pose the question if we were in a threesome right now would you like him inside you now?

 

If she says yes take the fantasy further, if she does not answer she probably means yes but needs your assurance it is OK for her to play with your blessing. She will say No if she really means it. Try the threesome first then later once she has and enjoyed ask about a foursome or swinging party, she must be absolutely OK seeing you with another woman.

 

The hardest point is to get past the flirting with the idea, trying it in fantasy and getting to the blunt “We both want to I am happy with it and so are you lets try it?” You just have to time this one and be brave ask it as if you expect a yes don’t show any doubts because she will be looking into your eyes asking herself will he really give me permission to do this because I really want to?

 

Also be prepared that she gets cold feet the first time and votes for a soft threesome with only you inside her, the next time she might just surprise you.

 

Most women are naturally bi though some don’t know it, a great number of my girl friends have eventually enjoyed sex with another women after lots of protests that they could not and afterwards admitted they always fancied tasting another women as they are curious at what turns men so much eating his girl friend.

 

Just remember women have a huge ability for enjoying sex and once they get going at a party/ threesome/foursome what ever they tend to burn out a lot of men satisfying themselves and can turn the last hour into a glorious girl-girl sex romp which gets the men going again, once the dragon awakes it won’t go back into his cage again so be prepared for some horny adventures…enjoy X X Mistral

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Have you looked more into the lifestyle than just the MFM's ?

 

And shared all there is to know about it ?

 

I mean, it sounds like you have just put one thing on the table.

 

I would offer her a chance to come to the Swingers Board and see there is way more to the lifestyle than just a MFM. An informed decision is the best way to go.

[realcplub2 513]

Excellent Advice folks..

 

Let me add just a few points.. Are you looking for a 3some, or do you want to watch her? this is a very important point.. As far as Attitudes point about figuring out if its a joke.. Its very true, however WE dont know your wife, and what she is LIKELY to say..

 

Proposing a threesome as Minstral suggests is an excellent way to go, with one or two additions.. Add some toys to your private play, and allow yourselves to experience the sensations of 2 "guys" at the same time while still just the 2 of you.. the other point is, at some point in a NON BED situation sitting down and talking about it, well after all of this has been experimented with in bed with just you 2..

 

My final point is this.. There is NO RUSH.. would it be great to talk about it and this weekend spend the 4th putting different skyrockets in the air, sure..

 

BUT..

 

If you RUSH, and afterwards she feels it was a mistake, isnt sure of how YOU look at her, or WHATEVER.. you would have paid a high price for a wild night.. its much better to GO SLOW and make sure she is well assured of HOW YOU FEEL.. and that HER FEELINGS or DESIRES are perfectly normal and ACCEPTABLE to YOU..

 

Like Minstral said and I can't stress enough.. Make sure she understands you are into this as much as she is.. and that whatever happens you will still be there at the end of it all..

 

Or as we tend to say.. At the end of the night its still you and her and She's coming home with you..

[sweet_tna 680]

My wife and I have been married 8 years and she has talked (she says she was joking) about having sex with another man and even bringing him home for me to watch. I love the idea and have told her so.

 

Okay, so you've told her you love the idea. Was this when she said she was joking? Has the topic come up before between you? If the topic has come up before, she may have joked about it for two reasons: 1) She thinks the idea is funny/odd/strange and is pulling your leg; or 2) She really likes the idea, but is unsure, so she "joked" about it to test your response.

 

If the reason is #1, you're probably best off letting go of the idea. She may never be ready If it's #2, then there is a glimmer of hope. Try mentioning the idea when you're having sex. Remind her how hot you think it would be, and what you might like to have happen. If her response is positive, then by all means, explore the idea further.

 

Communication is essential to success in the lifestyle (or in any marriage, for that matter), so now is the time to open those doors.

 

Best of luck to ya'll,

 

=)

[cathy&neil 15]

Thanks everyone for their responses. I think my wife is very interested because she has been saying in a joking manner for years that she would like to have sex with another man. I actually told her that I was very serious when I said that she could screw another man just as long as she told me about it. She smiled and didn't seemed shocked about it.

 

It's funny because she is about to go on a business trip to China for three weeks with a bunch of males from her large, world wide company. We haven't used condoms in years, but we have a box in our closet that had 39 condoms inside of it. Today, after she had packed there were only 33 condoms in the box. Since it is just her and me int he house, I have to wonder.

[ViSexual 1,008]

Well, unless you have older children who might have stolen a few, I think that answers the question of whether it's just a joke or something she's seriously thinking about.

 

I'd suggest bringing up the fantasy again during your last lovemaking before she leaves. Then, as you say goodbye, wink and say that you hope her trip is everything she's fantasized about it being.

 

Then, kiss her and tell her you'll miss her, and that you look forward to her return and hearing all about the her fun experiences.

[Additude 457]

Thanks everyone for their responses. I think my wife is very interested because she has been saying in a joking manner for years that she would like to have sex with another man. I actually told her that I was very serious when I said that she could screw another man just as long as she told me about it. She smiled and didn't seemed shocked about it.

 

Maybe that's because she has already been having sex with other men and she has decided not to tell you about it. Possibly because she feels you could possibly be setting a trap to get her to admit she already "has" or even "would" and she has concerns or doubts on how you'd truly accept it.

 

However, I would think your wife taking 6 condoms from a box of condoms you do not use is a pretty risky action.

 

But it would be even more interesting to see how many condoms return to the box after her trip.....

[bryanlee 147]

It seems to me that you are giving her permission to have sex with another, but she is shying away from the subject while at the same time planning to or actually having sex with another man/men.

 

For me it would only work if we were able to both discuss the subject openly and it doesn't appear you have been able to do that so far. Even if you say you don't care what she does you should still discuss it make sure you are both on the same page as far as what you are both getting/want from this whole experience.

 

It is my opinion that if you don't have some serious discussion before she proceeds you are asking for trouble.

 

Good Luck to you both.

 

Bryan & Sharon

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The idea that she may be planning to do something (or has already done something)without telling you concerns me a bit. It also concerns me that you said that this is an OLD box of condoms. Condoms do have a shelf life and once they pass that are much less likely to be ineffective.

 

You definately need to talk to her about this again before she leaves and let her know that you are ok with whatever she wants to do so long as she tells you about it, that you DO want to hear the details and that the idea of it really turns you on. If she has been lying to you already, she isn't likely to fess up to past sins, but she is more likely to tell you about future occurances.

 

And you might want ot get a new box of condoms.

[Drknow 47]

I think Julie hit the nail on the head there, but out of curiosity, what ever happened here? Did she play or not?

[beachguyz 25]

If all you want her to do is enjoy herself, then being safe is part of that. Point out to her that you love her, want her to be safe. Throw out the old condoms and tell her that you did that because of the shelf life issue. This way she can protect herself and have a good time.

[herpob 564]

The idea that she may be planning to do something (or has already done something)without telling you concerns me a bit. It also concerns me that you said that this is an OLD box of condoms. Condoms do have a shelf life and once they pass that are much less likely to be ineffective.

 

You definately need to talk to her about this again before she leaves and let her know that you are ok with whatever she wants to do so long as she tells you about it, that you DO want to hear the details and that the idea of it really turns you on. If she has been lying to you already, she isn't likely to fess up to past sins, but she is more likely to tell you about future occurances.

 

And you might want ot get a new box of condoms.

 

Ditto on what Julie said and the other's after...

 

Also WHAT did happen? What is the real end to this story???

 

thx